June 19, 2025 • 31 mins
Diving into all the things I was ashamed of until I finally let it all go.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hey. Hey, Yaning at Life GANG.
It's Kimberly Roberts of the Soulful Yin brand.
I'm here to dish out all things about traditional Chinese
medicine, yin yoga, reflexology.And of course, I'm here to
disrupt your mind. So thanks so much for pressing
play on today's episode. Let's do this.
(00:24):
Have you ever wanted to find a space where you didn't feel
judged, criticized for who you are, how you feel, how you look,
what you desire for what you've been ashamed of or have feared
(00:47):
or worried about? See all of these things?
The fear, the judgment, the worry, the anger, the
appearances, and so many other things all related in some way
(01:15):
to shame. And back in my day, when I
didn't have an outlet, a source,something to tap into to help me
process all of that, I fell apart.
But then eventually I built the tools.
(01:41):
And then after building the tools, I sent them out to the
world. So if you are someone who is
looking for a tool, join the Soulful Yin app.
All of the information will be LinkedIn the show notes.
(02:04):
This is like nothing there is out there in this world.
And what I want to talk to you about today directly relates to
shame and how I used yin yoga, breath work, acupressure,
reflexology, yin yoga, meditation, all of that to help
(02:31):
me release shame that I was holding in my body and helped me
to create what I consider to be an extraordinary life now for
myself. And what I want most for all of
you out there is the same thing.Well, hello there and welcome to
(02:55):
today's episode. I am diving deep into how I used
yin yoga to release shame. And I'm going to tell you some
pretty personal stories about methat I'm going to say are quite
vulnerable for me to share. And I feel that in sharing this,
(03:19):
somehow, even if there's one person out there in this world
that can relate to this and in some way I can help them, then
this podcast episode was priceless.
So let's dive in. So I'm pretty sure most of you
out there, as you reflect back through your life have thought,
(03:42):
yeah, I'm not too proud of that.I'm not too proud of that
decision I made, not too proud of that person I was involved
with. I'm not too proud of the road I
took, whatever it is. I don't think there's a person
in this world who hasn't experienced that.
(04:05):
And when we don't feel proud, what do we feel?
Shame and shame. I mean, we can store shame in
the body anywhere. I know from traditional Chinese
medicine, shame is often associated with like lungs and
heart, but that doesn't necessarily mean that that's
(04:27):
where you might be holding shame.
But just know that as I talked to you about some of the things
that I was ashamed of up until recently, I want you to know
that I don't think there's anything that you could reply
(04:49):
back to me with in your own lifethat I would be so disheartened
by. Like, we're all just human
beings living in this human experience, in this thing called
life. This is what I say all the time.
And we always just do the best that we can with the tools that
(05:10):
we have. And so when I look back in
hindsight, some of the decisionsthat I made, I'm like, yeah, I
probably didn't have the best tools in my toolkit, but you
know what? I had what I had and I used
them. And the more that I have been
diving into this mindset work, the more I'm realizing that you
(05:37):
know what, there's so much more compassion, like self compassion
that I have now because I know I've only been operating from
the best of my abilities. So I posted a reel on Instagram
today. Actually after yesterday, a very
(06:01):
profound experience I had. I had two really profound
experiences yesterday. So yesterday morning, I was in
my yen and meditation practice, and I was thinking about my life
and where I'm at now versus where I was before and seeing
all the strides and the accomplishments that, you know,
(06:22):
have come out of it, out of this, you know, challenging yet
rewarding work that I'm doing, this healing work that I'm
doing. But then I started to look at
some of the decisions from my past that I was like, yeah, not
too proud of that decision. That didn't make me feel very
(06:44):
good in my heart, but then I realized something.
The thing is, is that back when I was in my marriage to an
abusive alcoholic, I mean, I knew.
I knew his childhood story. I knew his childhood trauma.
(07:05):
So I fully understood why he operated the way he did.
And I will tell you that most people that judge you or
criticize you for things that you're ashamed of, they're
actually equally ashamed themselves, maybe of the same
(07:26):
thing or maybe something different.
But they're definitely ashamed. And rather than admitting to
that and working through it, they decide to project that on
to other people, which in my understanding of how things work
(07:47):
in our mind now, I debt. I totally get it.
I understand why people project onto other people.
But I'm going to be fair here insaying that that is just it's
not cool. Like it's so not fucking cool to
project your crap onto other people.
(08:11):
Like, we're all here, we're all doing the best that we can.
And when things are not aligningthe way that you desire them to
be, it's your opportunity to step up and be accountable and
responsible for your life. So getting back to my marriage,
(08:32):
there was a time where when things were not great and then I
found out that my husband was inrehab and he was having an
affair with a cocaine addict that was also in rehab.
That's when I decided that, you know, I'm done, like I'm done
with this marriage and I'm moving on.
(08:55):
So I had, it had been about fourmonths since I had moved into
where I am now and I met somebody and I ended up having,
I'm going to say a casual affairwith this person.
It certainly wasn't like boyfriend, girlfriend,
(09:15):
relationship type thing. It was just a casual affair.
Now, technically, in the eyes ofGod and in the Catholic Church,
which I was raised in, I was still married even though we
(09:38):
were separated. We were legally separated, like
on paper through, you know, lawyers.
We were separated, but we weren't divorced yet, but we
were still technically married to some degree.
So in the eyes of God and the Church, I was unfaithful.
I cheated now. I mean, he did too, but I
(10:02):
cheated partly out of I mean, henever knew we were separated.
I never saw him like the day that I moved out of the, of my
house, I never saw him again. So he never knew, and I never
told him. And I didn't feel like there was
(10:22):
any point to because eventually we were divorced.
And I didn't think of it back then as cheating.
And even to this day, I mean, some of my friends who knew this
(10:43):
story already were like, well, you didn't cheat.
Like, you were already separate.Like you were legally separated.
But I was like, yeah, well, we're legally separated, but not
like, technically we're not divorced.
So to me, it was kind of like cheating.
And they were like, well, you were justified in doing what you
did. And I was like, I didn't look at
(11:04):
it like I had a reason to. I didn't feel like I was
justified in having the affair. It was just something that
happened. Like I wasn't, I wasn't going
out looking for it. It just happened.
But I didn't feel very good about it.
(11:25):
I didn't feel proud. I felt shame around it and I
knew that this casual affair wasnever going to go anywhere.
It wasn't going to be a full blown relationship where we were
going to fall in love and spend the rest of our lives together.
I knew what it was. So I mean, I knew what I signed
up for, but to me it was still, I cheated.
(11:52):
So there was shame around that. There was shame that I left the
marriage, like, you know, you get married for better, for
worse, in sickness and in health.
And I left. And there was shame around that,
that I couldn't make it work. There was shame that I was
(12:13):
married to an alcoholic who abused me.
There was shame that, you know, how many times I had to lie to
people when they would see, you know, my arms bruised or
something. Like I would just tell them,
yeah, I know I was. You know, I got into a wrestle
with the dogs because, I mean, Ihad three dogs at the time.
Like, it was really easy for me to make up lies about why I
(12:36):
looked banged up and bruised. I don't know if anybody, if any
of my patients ever actually thought I was being abused.
If they did, well, they certainly never said anything to
me. But I don't know if they ever
thought it either. I hid it so well.
Like I could have won a freakingOscar award for her for how well
(12:57):
I managed to hide things in my marriage from people, from my
patients, from my family who didn't even know.
So I felt a lot of shame around that.
I had to lie. I lied a lot out of shame, and I
didn't, I didn't know back then that.
(13:22):
Like, it was just my mind tryingto protect me, trying to protect
me from further hurt. And, you know, there was one
time where my husband hit me andI hit him back and I felt shame
around that for hitting him. Like, how could I stoop as low
as he did, you know? And then he phoned the police
(13:46):
and accused me of abusing him. And when the police showed up
and they looked at me and they looked at him and they saw that
he was completely wasted. They were like, yeah, we kind of
know who we're, we're favoring here in this, like.
And it certainly wasn't him, butthere was shame around that.
(14:08):
There was shame around, you know, having to go to my mom and
tell her. Yeah, I've been in an abusive
marriage for most of it. And my mother adored my husband,
adored him. She just thought he was like,
the greatest thing since sliced bread.
So to tell her that he was an alcoholic and he was abusing me.
(14:29):
And then I had to ask her to help me financially so that I
could start my life over and have her support me partially.
And then having, you know, during COVID, having a business
where I shut down and then when I, you know, started it back up,
I, I almost lost it and I almosthad to like completely shut it
(14:51):
down and move back home with my mom.
There was shame around that. Like there was so many times
where I felt ashamed. Like, how could I just, you
know, like, why couldn't I get the business working?
Like why did it collapse? Why did I get into such like,
(15:12):
you know, $35,000 worth of debt,like trying to support myself
during COVID and also pay for healthcare out of pocket for a
massive health crisis that I was, you know, diagnosed with in
August of 2022? Like, I was ashamed of that.
I was ashamed that I had to. I put up a GoFundMe page where
(15:36):
people donated to help me with my health crisis and I was
ashamed that I had to do that. Like why couldn't I do it on my
own? I was ashamed that I got sick in
the 1st place. I'm in the health and Wellness
industry and I got sick and it'slike fuck.
Like should have known better. Like I it's incredible the
(16:02):
amount that we beat ourselves upfor not being perfect, for not
knowing better. But at the end of the day, all
of that, it's it's life. Nobody is walking this earth not
(16:27):
ashamed of a single thing that they've done.
And and if there is anybody thatsays, yeah, there's nothing in
my life I've ever been ashamed of, then you know what?
They're honestly, they're full of crap because they are not
connected to themselves and theyare living in denial because we
all make decisions that are not in our highest good.
(16:54):
I mean, I felt ashamed for, you know, when I was moving out of
my house and my real estate agent, like I didn't have any
food and I didn't have any moneyfor food.
And her and her husband went to Costco and, you know, they
brought me $300 worth of food and said here, just take this.
(17:17):
And I'm like, like, I, I, I can't, like, I can't pay you
back. And they're like, don't worry
about it doesn't matter. We just want you to be safe and
OK and happy. When I thought my business was
going to close down one of my patients like she was, she was
giving me money even though she had paid for her treatments
(17:39):
already. She had bought a package from
me. She put her package on hold and
she was paying me out of pocket and she gave me money for
groceries like and she supportedme through my app like and, and
his. And there was so much gratitude
around that and also so much shame that I got into that
(18:01):
position in the 1st place. But here's the thing about our
mind. Our mind is sneaky AF and it
will do everything that it possibly can to protect you.
And sometimes that protection isyou do stupid things, you make
(18:27):
stupid decisions, whether it's in your personal life or your
business or your career, whatever.
Like in your health. Like, your mind is really,
really capable of getting you tobelieve anything and especially
the crap. And so yesterday when I was in
(18:51):
my yen and meditation practice and I thought to myself, is
there really any point to me carrying around the shame
anymore? Like really, is there any?
Nope. Is it serving me?
Nope. Is it serving my evolution?
(19:11):
Nope. Is it serving my patients in my
reflexology practice? Hell no.
Is it serving my students on my on my yin yoga and well-being
app? Absolutely not.
Is it serving the collective as a whole, this universe as a
whole? No.
(19:33):
Can I change it? Like can I go back and change
any of this? No.
So I have two options as far as I can see it.
I either accept it, release it and move on, or I continue to
let it control my life and diminish who I am and cause more
(20:05):
suffering. And I was like, my soul's not
here to suffer anymore. It's already known that journey.
Why do I want to keep reliving that?
Like it's time to feel free. It's time to live in peace and
in tranquility and freedom. And so I said F it.
I'm done with this. I'm like, I'm letting it go.
(20:30):
And I felt better. And then last night I was in a
group mentorship call that lasted 3 hours.
Like I'll tell you, my mentor isa godsend. 3 hours and I had no
idea what the context of that call was going to be about.
(20:53):
But when she started to talk it,it was all about shame.
And I was like thinking to myself, but of course we're
talking about this. I just finished meditating and
doing yin yoga on this and now we're talking about this.
And she brought up three different women who talked about
(21:15):
what they were ashamed of. And after listening to these
women, I thought to myself, wow,the ship that I was ashamed of
pales in comparison to what these courageous women went
through, survived it and moved on from.
(21:36):
And I'm not going to tell their stories because that's not my
right. But when I look at, and I'm not
comparing, but when I look at what they went through versus
me, I was like, yeah, Kim, you are just as courageous.
(21:56):
There's no reason for you to hold on to this shame anymore.
It's not serving you, and it's not serving anybody in your
life. And it's not serving this
universe. And it's not serving your
purpose of what you're here to do in this world.
It was like another layer of confirmation that, you know
(22:19):
what, let it go. And then at the end of this
call, she was doing a draw. So I'm in this program and it's
an experiment. And there's different phases of
this experiment. And so at the end of the call,
(22:39):
she was saying, you know, like I'm giving 10 golden tickets,
which is basically 10 passes to the next phase of this
experiment and you can win it. Like it was a draw and I won one
of the tickets. And I was like, if I, I truly
(23:00):
believe this, if I had not done the work that I've been doing
all this time, all this mindset work and all this belief work,
changing my limited beliefs, accepting the the story of my
past, being OK with who I was and the decisions that I made
(23:21):
and stepping fully into my powerand being a creator in my life,
I wouldn't have won that ticket.There's no freaking way I would
have won. So for me, that was just like
affirmation from the universe. It was a sign from the universe
that you know what? Like keep going on the path
(23:42):
you're doing that you're on. Keep doing this work because at
some point there's going to be somebody out there in this
world. Maybe I'll know, maybe I'll
never know. But I believe that the work that
I'm doing through my podcast episodes here, the journey that
(24:04):
I'm taking people on through theSoulful Yin app, the work that
I'm doing with my reflexology patients, which is so much more
than just a foot reflexology treatment for them, like all of
this work, I know that there arepeople out there that are
benefiting from it. I don't need to know how many
(24:27):
people. It doesn't matter.
I just know in my soul that thisis the work that I'm meant to
do, and I'm no longer going to sit behind the shame of, OK, I
was supposed to be perfect and I'm not.
(24:49):
I'm no longer going to sit behind the fear of like, OK,
well, if I put something out andit's not perfect and people
don't like it, I'm still going to put it out.
I'm still going to put out programs.
I'm still going to keep talking about my app.
(25:10):
Like, I'm not afraid to show people the gift that I have in
this world. And The thing is, is that when
you release the shame, you stripaway all those layers, you start
to realize who you really are and who you are really meant to
become in this world. And you get to a point where
(25:33):
you're like, you know what? It's not like some ego cocky
thing where you're like, yeah, I'm the greatest at blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. It it, it has nothing to do with
that. It's just a beautiful residence
of assertiveness and of courage and of confidence in yourself
that you know what, you have a gift and this world is meant to
(25:54):
see it. And it doesn't serve anybody for
you to hide that gift. And here's the thing, everybody
has a gift. It's just sometimes people don't
know what their gift is yet. But that's OK.
That's what you're here to discover what your gift is.
(26:15):
And once you do, like, let that shine.
Like let that gift shine becausethe world is a better place when
you are in a better place when you're when you're not living in
the constant ruminations of yourmind, when you're not sitting in
(26:40):
the constant worry and rabbit hole spiraler spiring.
When you're not sitting in the fear of like the unknown and
what's going to happen and, you know, always thinking, worst
case scenario, you're not going to be living in the shame of
what you did in the past and notbeing proud of it.
(27:00):
You learn from it and you move on.
It's like, OK, I made those those decisions in hindsight,
they weren't the best. All right, lesson learned.
Not going to do that again and you move on.
But but if you leave all of thatstuff inside of you, you're
(27:21):
living anything but an extraordinary life.
You're living a life of pain andsuffering, and that's not what
you're here for. So whatever it is that you are
ashamed of, that you think is soawful that you did, I guarantee
(27:44):
you it's not that bad. Even if you cheated, even if you
lied, even if you stole, even ifyou hurt somebody.
I will tell you that I don't condone any of that.
But we all just operate most of the time from that primal part
(28:09):
of our brain that's always just trying to keep us safe.
And sometimes in that trying to keep us safe, it gives us some
really misguided directions. It's like a really fucked up GPS
system. But you know what?
You can override it, and that's what your journey is here for.
(28:30):
And This is why I created the Soulful Yin app, because back
when I was in the literal crap of my marriage, I had nowhere to
go to. I was too ashamed to go for
help. I didn't have the money to go
and see therapists, so I had to do it myself.
(28:52):
And I remember, you know, years later saying to myself, I'm so
grateful for all of these tools.You know, the breath work, the
meditation, the yen, the acupressure, the reflexology, it
all helped me get to where I am now.
And I said this, these tools have helped me.
So I want to somehow find a way for these tools to help other
(29:16):
people. I don't know how universe but do
something help me. And that's when the Soulful Yin
app came out. It's the number one online yin
yoga and well-being app scaling every single day.
(29:37):
And it's because there's nothingelse out there like it.
One place where you can get programs, courses, miniseries,
acupressure techniques, reflexology practices, yen yoga,
breathwork, meditation, downloadhealth and mindset ebooks.
Like it's all in one place. And it's what I prayed for like
(30:04):
15 years ago, and now it's here.And I want thousands and
thousands and thousands of people to be able to get onto
their mat and to release the shame, the anger, the sadness,
(30:25):
the grief, the fear, the insecurities, and all without
judgement. Because I'm here to guide
everybody to flexibility, to awareness and to an
extraordinary life. So if you're ready to join me,
(30:47):
hit the link in the show notes. Start your 7 day free trial and
start living your extraordinary life because you don't know how
long you've got. So don't waste any of it living
and suffering. So thank you so much for
(31:11):
pressing play on today's episode.
I hope to see you in the app. And above all, I truly hope that
you are moving in the direction of living an extraordinary life
because you're worthy of it and you deserve it.
Hey. Hey, Yaning at Life GANG.
It's Kimberly Roberts of the Soulful Yin brand.
I'm here to dish out all things about traditional Chinese
medicine, yin yoga, reflexology.And of course, I'm here to
disrupt your mind. So thanks so much for pressing
play on today's episode. Let's do this.
(00:24):
Have you ever wanted to find a space where you didn't feel
judged, criticized for who you are, how you feel, how you look,
what you desire for what you've been ashamed of or have feared
(00:47):
or worried about? See all of these things?
The fear, the judgment, the worry, the anger, the
appearances, and so many other things all related in some way
(01:15):
to shame. And back in my day, when I
didn't have an outlet, a source,something to tap into to help me
process all of that, I fell apart.
But then eventually I built the tools.
(01:41):
And then after building the tools, I sent them out to the
world. So if you are someone who is
looking for a tool, join the Soulful Yin app.
All of the information will be LinkedIn the show notes.
(02:04):
This is like nothing there is out there in this world.
And what I want to talk to you about today directly relates to
shame and how I used yin yoga, breath work, acupressure,
reflexology, yin yoga, meditation, all of that to help
(02:31):
me release shame that I was holding in my body and helped me
to create what I consider to be an extraordinary life now for
myself. And what I want most for all of
you out there is the same thing.Well, hello there and welcome to
(02:55):
today's episode. I am diving deep into how I used
yin yoga to release shame. And I'm going to tell you some
pretty personal stories about methat I'm going to say are quite
vulnerable for me to share. And I feel that in sharing this,
(03:19):
somehow, even if there's one person out there in this world
that can relate to this and in some way I can help them, then
this podcast episode was priceless.
So let's dive in. So I'm pretty sure most of you
out there, as you reflect back through your life have thought,
(03:42):
yeah, I'm not too proud of that.I'm not too proud of that
decision I made, not too proud of that person I was involved
with. I'm not too proud of the road I
took, whatever it is. I don't think there's a person
in this world who hasn't experienced that.
(04:05):
And when we don't feel proud, what do we feel?
Shame and shame. I mean, we can store shame in
the body anywhere. I know from traditional Chinese
medicine, shame is often associated with like lungs and
heart, but that doesn't necessarily mean that that's
(04:27):
where you might be holding shame.
But just know that as I talked to you about some of the things
that I was ashamed of up until recently, I want you to know
that I don't think there's anything that you could reply
(04:49):
back to me with in your own lifethat I would be so disheartened
by. Like, we're all just human
beings living in this human experience, in this thing called
life. This is what I say all the time.
And we always just do the best that we can with the tools that
(05:10):
we have. And so when I look back in
hindsight, some of the decisionsthat I made, I'm like, yeah, I
probably didn't have the best tools in my toolkit, but you
know what? I had what I had and I used
them. And the more that I have been
diving into this mindset work, the more I'm realizing that you
(05:37):
know what, there's so much more compassion, like self compassion
that I have now because I know I've only been operating from
the best of my abilities. So I posted a reel on Instagram
today. Actually after yesterday, a very
(06:01):
profound experience I had. I had two really profound
experiences yesterday. So yesterday morning, I was in
my yen and meditation practice, and I was thinking about my life
and where I'm at now versus where I was before and seeing
all the strides and the accomplishments that, you know,
(06:22):
have come out of it, out of this, you know, challenging yet
rewarding work that I'm doing, this healing work that I'm
doing. But then I started to look at
some of the decisions from my past that I was like, yeah, not
too proud of that decision. That didn't make me feel very
(06:44):
good in my heart, but then I realized something.
The thing is, is that back when I was in my marriage to an
abusive alcoholic, I mean, I knew.
I knew his childhood story. I knew his childhood trauma.
(07:05):
So I fully understood why he operated the way he did.
And I will tell you that most people that judge you or
criticize you for things that you're ashamed of, they're
actually equally ashamed themselves, maybe of the same
(07:26):
thing or maybe something different.
But they're definitely ashamed. And rather than admitting to
that and working through it, they decide to project that on
to other people, which in my understanding of how things work
(07:47):
in our mind now, I debt. I totally get it.
I understand why people project onto other people.
But I'm going to be fair here insaying that that is just it's
not cool. Like it's so not fucking cool to
project your crap onto other people.
(08:11):
Like, we're all here, we're all doing the best that we can.
And when things are not aligningthe way that you desire them to
be, it's your opportunity to step up and be accountable and
responsible for your life. So getting back to my marriage,
(08:32):
there was a time where when things were not great and then I
found out that my husband was inrehab and he was having an
affair with a cocaine addict that was also in rehab.
That's when I decided that, you know, I'm done, like I'm done
with this marriage and I'm moving on.
(08:55):
So I had, it had been about fourmonths since I had moved into
where I am now and I met somebody and I ended up having,
I'm going to say a casual affairwith this person.
It certainly wasn't like boyfriend, girlfriend,
(09:15):
relationship type thing. It was just a casual affair.
Now, technically, in the eyes ofGod and in the Catholic Church,
which I was raised in, I was still married even though we
(09:38):
were separated. We were legally separated, like
on paper through, you know, lawyers.
We were separated, but we weren't divorced yet, but we
were still technically married to some degree.
So in the eyes of God and the Church, I was unfaithful.
I cheated now. I mean, he did too, but I
(10:02):
cheated partly out of I mean, henever knew we were separated.
I never saw him like the day that I moved out of the, of my
house, I never saw him again. So he never knew, and I never
told him. And I didn't feel like there was
(10:22):
any point to because eventually we were divorced.
And I didn't think of it back then as cheating.
And even to this day, I mean, some of my friends who knew this
(10:43):
story already were like, well, you didn't cheat.
Like, you were already separate.Like you were legally separated.
But I was like, yeah, well, we're legally separated, but not
like, technically we're not divorced.
So to me, it was kind of like cheating.
And they were like, well, you were justified in doing what you
did. And I was like, I didn't look at
(11:04):
it like I had a reason to. I didn't feel like I was
justified in having the affair. It was just something that
happened. Like I wasn't, I wasn't going
out looking for it. It just happened.
But I didn't feel very good about it.
(11:25):
I didn't feel proud. I felt shame around it and I
knew that this casual affair wasnever going to go anywhere.
It wasn't going to be a full blown relationship where we were
going to fall in love and spend the rest of our lives together.
I knew what it was. So I mean, I knew what I signed
up for, but to me it was still, I cheated.
(11:52):
So there was shame around that. There was shame that I left the
marriage, like, you know, you get married for better, for
worse, in sickness and in health.
And I left. And there was shame around that,
that I couldn't make it work. There was shame that I was
(12:13):
married to an alcoholic who abused me.
There was shame that, you know, how many times I had to lie to
people when they would see, you know, my arms bruised or
something. Like I would just tell them,
yeah, I know I was. You know, I got into a wrestle
with the dogs because, I mean, Ihad three dogs at the time.
Like, it was really easy for me to make up lies about why I
(12:36):
looked banged up and bruised. I don't know if anybody, if any
of my patients ever actually thought I was being abused.
If they did, well, they certainly never said anything to
me. But I don't know if they ever
thought it either. I hid it so well.
Like I could have won a freakingOscar award for her for how well
(12:57):
I managed to hide things in my marriage from people, from my
patients, from my family who didn't even know.
So I felt a lot of shame around that.
I had to lie. I lied a lot out of shame, and I
didn't, I didn't know back then that.
(13:22):
Like, it was just my mind tryingto protect me, trying to protect
me from further hurt. And, you know, there was one
time where my husband hit me andI hit him back and I felt shame
around that for hitting him. Like, how could I stoop as low
as he did, you know? And then he phoned the police
(13:46):
and accused me of abusing him. And when the police showed up
and they looked at me and they looked at him and they saw that
he was completely wasted. They were like, yeah, we kind of
know who we're, we're favoring here in this, like.
And it certainly wasn't him, butthere was shame around that.
(14:08):
There was shame around, you know, having to go to my mom and
tell her. Yeah, I've been in an abusive
marriage for most of it. And my mother adored my husband,
adored him. She just thought he was like,
the greatest thing since sliced bread.
So to tell her that he was an alcoholic and he was abusing me.
(14:29):
And then I had to ask her to help me financially so that I
could start my life over and have her support me partially.
And then having, you know, during COVID, having a business
where I shut down and then when I, you know, started it back up,
I, I almost lost it and I almosthad to like completely shut it
(14:51):
down and move back home with my mom.
There was shame around that. Like there was so many times
where I felt ashamed. Like, how could I just, you
know, like, why couldn't I get the business working?
Like why did it collapse? Why did I get into such like,
(15:12):
you know, $35,000 worth of debt,like trying to support myself
during COVID and also pay for healthcare out of pocket for a
massive health crisis that I was, you know, diagnosed with in
August of 2022? Like, I was ashamed of that.
I was ashamed that I had to. I put up a GoFundMe page where
(15:36):
people donated to help me with my health crisis and I was
ashamed that I had to do that. Like why couldn't I do it on my
own? I was ashamed that I got sick in
the 1st place. I'm in the health and Wellness
industry and I got sick and it'slike fuck.
Like should have known better. Like I it's incredible the
(16:02):
amount that we beat ourselves upfor not being perfect, for not
knowing better. But at the end of the day, all
of that, it's it's life. Nobody is walking this earth not
(16:27):
ashamed of a single thing that they've done.
And and if there is anybody thatsays, yeah, there's nothing in
my life I've ever been ashamed of, then you know what?
They're honestly, they're full of crap because they are not
connected to themselves and theyare living in denial because we
all make decisions that are not in our highest good.
(16:54):
I mean, I felt ashamed for, you know, when I was moving out of
my house and my real estate agent, like I didn't have any
food and I didn't have any moneyfor food.
And her and her husband went to Costco and, you know, they
brought me $300 worth of food and said here, just take this.
(17:17):
And I'm like, like, I, I, I can't, like, I can't pay you
back. And they're like, don't worry
about it doesn't matter. We just want you to be safe and
OK and happy. When I thought my business was
going to close down one of my patients like she was, she was
giving me money even though she had paid for her treatments
(17:39):
already. She had bought a package from
me. She put her package on hold and
she was paying me out of pocket and she gave me money for
groceries like and she supportedme through my app like and, and
his. And there was so much gratitude
around that and also so much shame that I got into that
(18:01):
position in the 1st place. But here's the thing about our
mind. Our mind is sneaky AF and it
will do everything that it possibly can to protect you.
And sometimes that protection isyou do stupid things, you make
(18:27):
stupid decisions, whether it's in your personal life or your
business or your career, whatever.
Like in your health. Like, your mind is really,
really capable of getting you tobelieve anything and especially
the crap. And so yesterday when I was in
(18:51):
my yen and meditation practice and I thought to myself, is
there really any point to me carrying around the shame
anymore? Like really, is there any?
Nope. Is it serving me?
Nope. Is it serving my evolution?
(19:11):
Nope. Is it serving my patients in my
reflexology practice? Hell no.
Is it serving my students on my on my yin yoga and well-being
app? Absolutely not.
Is it serving the collective as a whole, this universe as a
whole? No.
(19:33):
Can I change it? Like can I go back and change
any of this? No.
So I have two options as far as I can see it.
I either accept it, release it and move on, or I continue to
let it control my life and diminish who I am and cause more
(20:05):
suffering. And I was like, my soul's not
here to suffer anymore. It's already known that journey.
Why do I want to keep reliving that?
Like it's time to feel free. It's time to live in peace and
in tranquility and freedom. And so I said F it.
I'm done with this. I'm like, I'm letting it go.
(20:30):
And I felt better. And then last night I was in a
group mentorship call that lasted 3 hours.
Like I'll tell you, my mentor isa godsend. 3 hours and I had no
idea what the context of that call was going to be about.
(20:53):
But when she started to talk it,it was all about shame.
And I was like thinking to myself, but of course we're
talking about this. I just finished meditating and
doing yin yoga on this and now we're talking about this.
And she brought up three different women who talked about
(21:15):
what they were ashamed of. And after listening to these
women, I thought to myself, wow,the ship that I was ashamed of
pales in comparison to what these courageous women went
through, survived it and moved on from.
(21:36):
And I'm not going to tell their stories because that's not my
right. But when I look at, and I'm not
comparing, but when I look at what they went through versus
me, I was like, yeah, Kim, you are just as courageous.
(21:56):
There's no reason for you to hold on to this shame anymore.
It's not serving you, and it's not serving anybody in your
life. And it's not serving this
universe. And it's not serving your
purpose of what you're here to do in this world.
It was like another layer of confirmation that, you know
(22:19):
what, let it go. And then at the end of this
call, she was doing a draw. So I'm in this program and it's
an experiment. And there's different phases of
this experiment. And so at the end of the call,
(22:39):
she was saying, you know, like I'm giving 10 golden tickets,
which is basically 10 passes to the next phase of this
experiment and you can win it. Like it was a draw and I won one
of the tickets. And I was like, if I, I truly
(23:00):
believe this, if I had not done the work that I've been doing
all this time, all this mindset work and all this belief work,
changing my limited beliefs, accepting the the story of my
past, being OK with who I was and the decisions that I made
(23:21):
and stepping fully into my powerand being a creator in my life,
I wouldn't have won that ticket.There's no freaking way I would
have won. So for me, that was just like
affirmation from the universe. It was a sign from the universe
that you know what? Like keep going on the path
(23:42):
you're doing that you're on. Keep doing this work because at
some point there's going to be somebody out there in this
world. Maybe I'll know, maybe I'll
never know. But I believe that the work that
I'm doing through my podcast episodes here, the journey that
(24:04):
I'm taking people on through theSoulful Yin app, the work that
I'm doing with my reflexology patients, which is so much more
than just a foot reflexology treatment for them, like all of
this work, I know that there arepeople out there that are
benefiting from it. I don't need to know how many
(24:27):
people. It doesn't matter.
I just know in my soul that thisis the work that I'm meant to
do, and I'm no longer going to sit behind the shame of, OK, I
was supposed to be perfect and I'm not.
(24:49):
I'm no longer going to sit behind the fear of like, OK,
well, if I put something out andit's not perfect and people
don't like it, I'm still going to put it out.
I'm still going to put out programs.
I'm still going to keep talking about my app.
(25:10):
Like, I'm not afraid to show people the gift that I have in
this world. And The thing is, is that when
you release the shame, you stripaway all those layers, you start
to realize who you really are and who you are really meant to
become in this world. And you get to a point where
(25:33):
you're like, you know what? It's not like some ego cocky
thing where you're like, yeah, I'm the greatest at blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. It it, it has nothing to do with
that. It's just a beautiful residence
of assertiveness and of courage and of confidence in yourself
that you know what, you have a gift and this world is meant to
(25:54):
see it. And it doesn't serve anybody for
you to hide that gift. And here's the thing, everybody
has a gift. It's just sometimes people don't
know what their gift is yet. But that's OK.
That's what you're here to discover what your gift is.
(26:15):
And once you do, like, let that shine.
Like let that gift shine becausethe world is a better place when
you are in a better place when you're when you're not living in
the constant ruminations of yourmind, when you're not sitting in
(26:40):
the constant worry and rabbit hole spiraler spiring.
When you're not sitting in the fear of like the unknown and
what's going to happen and, you know, always thinking, worst
case scenario, you're not going to be living in the shame of
what you did in the past and notbeing proud of it.
(27:00):
You learn from it and you move on.
It's like, OK, I made those those decisions in hindsight,
they weren't the best. All right, lesson learned.
Not going to do that again and you move on.
But but if you leave all of thatstuff inside of you, you're
(27:21):
living anything but an extraordinary life.
You're living a life of pain andsuffering, and that's not what
you're here for. So whatever it is that you are
ashamed of, that you think is soawful that you did, I guarantee
(27:44):
you it's not that bad. Even if you cheated, even if you
lied, even if you stole, even ifyou hurt somebody.
I will tell you that I don't condone any of that.
But we all just operate most of the time from that primal part
(28:09):
of our brain that's always just trying to keep us safe.
And sometimes in that trying to keep us safe, it gives us some
really misguided directions. It's like a really fucked up GPS
system. But you know what?
You can override it, and that's what your journey is here for.
(28:30):
And This is why I created the Soulful Yin app, because back
when I was in the literal crap of my marriage, I had nowhere to
go to. I was too ashamed to go for
help. I didn't have the money to go
and see therapists, so I had to do it myself.
(28:52):
And I remember, you know, years later saying to myself, I'm so
grateful for all of these tools.You know, the breath work, the
meditation, the yen, the acupressure, the reflexology, it
all helped me get to where I am now.
And I said this, these tools have helped me.
So I want to somehow find a way for these tools to help other
(29:16):
people. I don't know how universe but do
something help me. And that's when the Soulful Yin
app came out. It's the number one online yin
yoga and well-being app scaling every single day.
(29:37):
And it's because there's nothingelse out there like it.
One place where you can get programs, courses, miniseries,
acupressure techniques, reflexology practices, yen yoga,
breathwork, meditation, downloadhealth and mindset ebooks.
Like it's all in one place. And it's what I prayed for like
(30:04):
15 years ago, and now it's here.And I want thousands and
thousands and thousands of people to be able to get onto
their mat and to release the shame, the anger, the sadness,
(30:25):
the grief, the fear, the insecurities, and all without
judgement. Because I'm here to guide
everybody to flexibility, to awareness and to an
extraordinary life. So if you're ready to join me,
(30:47):
hit the link in the show notes. Start your 7 day free trial and
start living your extraordinary life because you don't know how
long you've got. So don't waste any of it living
and suffering. So thank you so much for
(31:11):
pressing play on today's episode.
I hope to see you in the app. And above all, I truly hope that
you are moving in the direction of living an extraordinary life
because you're worthy of it and you deserve it.
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