159. Detrans Grandma: Identity Crisis and Self Discovery After Postmenopausal Testosterone Use

In this episode, I sit down with Gina, an older detransitioner with a compelling story that spans decades. We delve into her journey, beginning with her childhood experiences of gender dysphoria in the 1970s, her eventual transition in her 50s, and her decision to detransition in 2023. Gina shares her early crush on a girl and how that shaped her understanding of her identity, leading her to believe she needed to become a boy to express her feelings.

We explore the complexities of her transition, including the overwhelming effects of testosterone on her sex drive and how it altered her sexual orientation, making her attracted to men for the first time. Gina reflects on the societal pressures surrounding gender and beauty, and how her past experiences of trauma influenced her decisions. 

We also discuss the impact of her identity on her relationship with her daughter, highlighting the importance of communication and understanding in parenting. Throughout our conversation, we aim to unpack the nuances of identity, the role of societal expectations, and the emotional turmoil that can accompany such profound life changes.

In 1970, at the age of ten, Gina traversed a hill to the neighboring ranch to confess to her friend that she was supposed to be a boy. Forty years later, she “transitioned.” After thirteen years of living as a “trans-man,” she had an awakening that inspired her to begin detransitioning. Now in radical acceptance of her womanhood, she is recovering. Gina's goal is to create a healing space in the country for female detransitioners, crossing a different kind of hill this time, to a new ranch.

 

Gina’s art: @aluminum_couture on Instagram

Gina’s Substack: @thisbodyofmine

 00:00 Start

[00:02:17] Childhood crush and gender identity.

[00:05:13] Childhood crush and identity.

[00:10:08] Secret crushes and shame.

[00:16:50] Coming out as a lesbian.

[00:19:11] Attraction and identity transformation.

[00:23:46] Masculinity as a protective shield.

[00:26:05] Grandiosity in young women's identities.

[00:30:50] Identity and rejection in relationships.

[00:34:50] Gender identity and self-perception.

[00:39:34] Hormonal changes and sexual attraction.

[00:44:03] The impact of testosterone on behavior.

[00:49:19] Dreams and identity exploration.

[00:54:56] Fragility of ego in identity.

[00:58:21] Identity crisis and personal anchors.

[01:01:05] Suicide prevention and parental responsibility.

[01:05:07] Nurturing motherhood and identity.

[01:10:06] Grandparenthood and identity transformation.

[01:14:36] Identity and self-acceptance journey.

[01:18:48] Effects of testosterone on motivation.

[01:22:50] Identity and motherhood loss.

[01:28:17] Identity acceptance and transformation.

[01:30:13] Rediscovering identity through transition.

[01:34:54] Emotional stability and external connections.

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SHOW NOTES & transcript with help from SwellAI.

MUSIC: Thanks to Joey Pecoraro for our song, “Half Awake,” used with gratitude & permission.

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