March 28, 2024 • 39 mins
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Embark on a transformative journey with us as Eric Esteves, a luminary in the entrepreneurial landscape, unfolds the map to his ascent from a corporate cog to the creator of a bustling mortgage empire. By tuning in, you'll grasp the essence of business scaling, the unexpected challenges that ambush you along the way, and how familial ties intertwine with professional pursuits. Eric's ventures are not just about business; they're a testament to his role as a father, partnering with his daughter to cultivate a thriving business, a narrative that promises to inspire and enlighten.
The landscape of leadership is ever-evolving, and in this episode, we wade through the personal growth that complements professional triumphs. From his leap into the mortgage industry, Eric shares the trenches dug for trust-building and the necessity of assembling a team that's a mosaic of niche expertise. The collision of self-improvement, humility, and self-awareness is dissected, shining a beacon on how they coalesce to forge powerful connections and opportunities. Enter the sanctum where mentors of all walks breathe life into our continuous journey of evolution.
In our pursuit of life's summits, we often teeter on the tightrope of balance. Here, we navigate through the strategies that anchor us—a blend of presence, gratitude, and the celebration of the now—as we ward off the specters of mental exhaustion. Support systems are our lifelines, and setting boundaries our armor, as we strive for a work-life harmony that echoes our deepest values. Close the chapter with us as we unravel how our beliefs sculpt our reality, inviting you to challenge and redefine your assumptions, laying the groundwork for success that truly resonates.
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Jason Wasser Therapist/Coach
Online Tele-Therapy & Coaching đź–Ą
The Family Room Wellness Associates
Certified Neuro Emotional Technique PractitionerÂ
🎧Host:You Winning Life Podcast
🎤Available for speaking engagements
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the you Winning Life podcast your number
one source for mastering apositive existence.
Each episode will beinterviewing exceptional people
giving you empowering insightsand guiding you to extraordinary
outcomes.
Learn from specialists in theworlds of integrative and
natural wellness, spirituality,psychology and entrepreneurship
(00:22):
so you, too, can be winning life.
Now here's your host licensedmarriage and family therapist,
certified neuro emotionaltechnique practitioner and
certified entrepreneur coach,jason Wasser.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right, everybody, welcome back to another
spectacular, insightful andempowering episode of the you
Winning Life podcast and, as youknow, eric is joining us today
and we're gonna be talking abouta bunch of really tactical and
practical topics.
So, eric, thanks so much forhanging out with us today.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Jason, it was always a pleasure.
Thank you for having me Ofcourse.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
So you know, short of the bio that people get when
they see the podcast pop up andthe introduction that you get at
the beginning of the episode,let's unpackage a little bit
more of your personal journey,because, you know, one of the
things that I love talking aboutis how do people get from point
A to point, whatever it may beand it may not even be point B,
(01:23):
maybe point Q at this point or Rand people see individuals such
as yourself only for wherethey're at now.
They may hear about the story,but they don't get and
understand what it took to getthere that we can leverage and
utilize for ourselves.
So let's start off with thatand then we'll take it to all
(01:48):
the places that I know we'regoing to go to.
So yeah.
So who are you?
What are you?
What's going on?
Let me throw that at you.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Thank you, jason.
I mean listen, first andforemost, I'm a father of two
children, husband, you know, andin the last six years or so,
I've built a mortgage business.
You know, after meeting, youknow teams and you know Fortune
50 companies, hundreds of peopleat a time, and you know I
(02:19):
always had an entrepreneurialbug.
Right, I always wanted to workfor myself.
So, you know, after leveraging,you know RSUs and stock options
and whatnot right To reallyleave that world behind.
I started a mortgage businessand you know, just like any
business, the first few yearsare just grinding it out and
learning as much as you can.
(02:40):
And then you start to scale andbuild teams and processes and
whatnot.
And that's where I'm at now,you know.
So the mortgage industry isstill my bread and butter.
I've since, you know, builtsome auxiliary businesses just
because of the conversationsthat I've been having in the
mortgage world, you know, forexample, you know I've used
(03:03):
virtual assistants, isas, forquite some time and in the
coaching world and I teachclasses and whatnot.
This comes up a lot, right?
So I made a business out ofthat, right?
So you know what, instead of metalking about it and you know,
telling people where to go.
Why can't I provide thatservice?
So I partnered with somebodywho helped me with the back-end
(03:24):
operations, and we do have avirtual assistant company to
help leverage, you know, smallbusiness owners.
But mortgage is my bread andbutter.
In addition to that, you know,one of my passion projects is,
you know, my daughter is a musicrecording artist, you know.
So we started a small recordlabel and we're just right.
(03:45):
Now we're in the rumbles andtumble of things.
Right, we're in the weeds,we're learning and you know it
takes years, right to make it.
So she's just reporting.
And you know, we produced andreleased our own music video,
right, and every other monthwe're releasing a single.
So I'm learning the musicbusiness as well.
So that's more of a passionproject.
But it does take money, jason,right, yeah, of course.
(04:07):
So it's fun because I'm doingthat alongside my daughter and
that's her passion.
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
That's amazing.
So I want to go back tosomething that you said of, like
you started off in one placeand you had to learn what you
had to learn, and then youjumped out and went
entrepreneurial and then you hadto kind of learn what you had
to learn until you got toanother level of success.
And I'm hearing and knowingthat that's consistently part of
(04:34):
this process that we think thatif we just do this long enough,
we're going to be able to jumpship, start something new, and
it's just going to be easy or wehave everything we need ready
to go.
So I'm curious, just you know,as the first, maybe deep dive of
our conversation is what didn'tyou know in these different
(04:54):
developmental stages?
That has been that once youlearned it, you realized how
foundationally powerful andimpactful it was to what you
needed to be doing, bothpersonally and professionally.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
That's a great question, you know, listen, I
think in the beginning I didn'tknow what I didn't know.
So I was able to use some of myleadership skills to build
teams, which I knew is somethingthat needed to happen quickly
to be successful in this world,and I was able to create good
cultures and whatnot.
(05:30):
But when I left my priorindustry as a leader, I had a
lot of people that report to meand I was more like the maestro
right, like the.
You know, I kind of had greatpeople around me and I was a big
, big picture kind of guy.
And when I came into themortgage industry I thought that
(05:50):
that was gonna translate.
But I learned real quickly thatI had to learn right the weeds
of the business so I could bedangerous enough, right, you
know, I still surround myselfwith great people and I know
who's gonna surpass my knowledgeright, when I hire people,
which is, you know, one of thegreat skill sets of really
(06:12):
building a great team is hiringpeople that are better at using
certain skill sets.
But you know, I think I tried tomove too fast and not learn
right the fundamentals and spentas much time as fundamental.
So, for example, I was alwaysfocused on connecting with
people and sales and people gaveme opportunities to help
(06:36):
families.
But, you know, I made mistakesbecause I wasn't in tune right
with the details of my businessand it took months and months
and months to developrelationships and have
opportunities to help.
You know, families financetheir homes but because of my
lack of knowledge in some cases,you know, I lost those
(06:59):
relationships quickly, right.
So now, how I lead is you haveto be good enough to do this on
your own.
You have to be dangerous enoughto really be able to help a
family and answer all questionsbefore you really build a team,
because you're gonna be theteacher, right, and you're gonna
(07:19):
end up those people are gonnawind up excelling in a specific
task along, you know, step alongthe process.
But you have to be good, right,and I think that in this
industry that I'm in, I'm kindof going back to that and saying
, okay, what are some of thethings that I've lost?
I have to get better at this soI can teach my team and I can
(07:40):
lead by example and set thatexample, and that's what I'm
doing right now, jason.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, the fundamentals and I see this in
every aspect, like, as you know,when I'm working with families
or couples or individuals, thatwe can only attract to the level
of the awareness, the wisdom orthe personal internal work, the
therapeutic work that we'vedone right.
We can't get anything greaterthan that.
We can't attract a partnerhealthier than that.
(08:06):
And you know, the whole idea islike you know, we attract what
we've done right and what we'reaware of and what we're not
aware of.
So when I hear people like, ah,this business partner screwed
me over, I'm like, yeah, butlike you met with them more than
once and didn't see thesethings, so what's going on with
you that you're not takingownership and accountability for
?
Versus saying like, how did Iknow?
How did I not know?
(08:26):
Right, and I see this on everylevel of relationships and every
level of even businesses, wherethere's that blind eye or
that's that they don't evenrealize that the circuit breaker
not only does it not exist, orthat it exists, but it's also
off right and they don't evenknow to look for that.
So I find that's such apowerful component of personal
(08:46):
growth and development, whetherit's personal or professionally
is how to know what to work onhow to know how not to walk in
with ego, how to not walk inwith arrogance and cockiness,
and I think one of the thingsthat scares people from the
non-tropinorial journey isseeing people who do carry that
brash ego, grind, rise and grindmentality that doesn't
(09:08):
necessarily fit authenticallyfor them, versus seeing this as
a path to, like, personalfulfillment and personal growth
and, like you said, helpingothers.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yeah, yeah, I think, you know, you have to always be
a student.
I think I think that the mostsuccessful people, right in any,
in any field, right, are alwaysinquisitive, are always trying
to learn, no matter their levelof success.
And I think when you open tolearning and and you know what
you know, it doesn't matter theage is, it's experience, right,
(09:41):
if there's a lot of young folkthat doing things and that I
want to do, right and and Iasked questions and I'm
inquisitive and I'm open, andthat's how you really start to
gain relationships and you startto, you know, really build a
circle of influential people inyour life.
Right when you, when you cometo them and say, hey, I want to
learn from you in all aspects,whether it's from a business
(10:03):
perspective right, if it's afamily man, that you know that,
just holding it down right.
And you know, and, andespecially since I'm branching
off into the, you know, virtualassistant, you know world, right
, I see I see people that aredoing it 10 times better than me
and I want to want to learn,and especially now, you know, in
the music industry is totallyforeign to me.
(10:24):
Not only am I reading books totry to you know, you know, get
the theory correct, but it'smeeting with as many people as
possible right, and and and I'vebeen my, my daughter has been
given opportunities becausewe've come with this hey, I want
to learn from a family,mentality right and people.
You know what success?
Successful people want to wantto teach right.
(10:44):
And guess what, when you teach,you learn and you get better
yourself too.
So I think I think you talkabout, you know you mentioned
that that thing that's veryimportant is is not having ego
and and and just say, hey, I'mhere to learn Right.
Even even myself as the teacher, sometimes in classes and
seminars, I can learn from mycolleagues that have been doing
(11:06):
this for less than me, becauseyou know they might hear
something right or knowsomething or got taught
something that I say, wow, likethat.
And I think that that's how youhave to lead your life right
and I think that that's how youkind of flatten that learning
curve a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah.
So one of the things I guess Iwant to ask is is you know
you've taken on these new roles,these new responsibilities,
these new passion projects, andone of the things I feel that
people have a difficult timewith is discerning between what
they should go down the rabbithole and take on themselves and
what they should leverage out,even if you know it's that idea
(11:44):
of like I can have 100% ofsomething, or I can have, you
know, 100% of nothing, or 20% ofsomething, right, and then the
other people like, well, if I doit all myself, then I'll have
100% of that.
And I think that you're a goodexample of you know, especially
with this virtual assistantmindset of like everything is
about leverage and everything isabout bringing people in that
right and, like you said, youcan only train them to the point
(12:06):
of what you know and you can'tget them past that.
How have you discerned, or howhave you learned to discern,
between what you should beabsolutely all in on and what
you should leverage out?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
That's.
That's another amazing question, and I think it all comes down
to accountability, right, and Ithink not only do you have to
always be learning, like I justmentioned, you have to be
accountable and really get andreally know who you are, which
are good at and what you suck atRight, and I think we have to.
You know, sometimes we're nothonest with ourselves and if you
(12:39):
know, like I know for a fact,that, for example, I hate
conflict Right For so many yearsand I was a leader, right, I
led through my personality and Igained, buy and, but you know,
sometimes that's just not, youknow that's not the way the
world is Right, and I hateconflict and I avoid it right.
So I think I have to havepeople in my team that run right
(13:00):
towards that conflict right,because I can get better at it,
but, but that's not innate in me.
I also don't like details toomuch, right, I'm not in so, and
I have to get better at thosethings.
But like I know, for example,that I have to refer to somebody
on my team is always going tofact check me right, and I'm not
(13:21):
going to be able to do thatbecause, because I'm good at
building relationships, right,I'm good at big picture thinking
, I'm good at rallying people.
So I think you know thataccountability knowing what
you're good at and what you'renot good at is going to allow
you now to right, outsourcehigher people that are going to
be doing, that are going to dothe things that you're not that
great at right.
(13:42):
If, if building a business takesdifferent types of
personalities like, let's say, Ihad a partner at one point and
we were opposites, right, youknow he was really strong and
the things that I was reallyweak on and it really worked,
you know it really worked, youknow.
So the thing is that sometimesyou got to just okay, what am I
good at?
Now?
I know that I'm good at havingconversations, talking to people
(14:04):
, building relationships,teaching people.
So, when I look at my day andI'm going back to accountability
, right, and I'm very structuredand that's also, I think, very
important for any business, forany business to be able to be
organized or is really beorganized, and that comes with
time but I'm able to look at myday and I'm able to say, ok,
well, how do I spend my daytoday?
How do I spend my day last, myweek, last week?
(14:26):
How do I spend my month?
And if I was, if I wasn't doingthe things that I was good at,
right, then I would be able tomaximize my potential.
Right, and I teach that to myteam.
You know I say OK, well, ifyou're not doing sales related
activities, right.
If you're.
If you're fighting fires allthe time, right, what caused the
fire?
(14:46):
Instead of fighting, you know,I got to fix how that fire came
to be in the first place, toeliminate those things in your
day so you can focus on thethings that you're good at.
You can focus on those salesactivities.
And I think you know it goesback to accountability, and, and
and looking at your, your dayand you're weak and analyze in
it, right, and, and you know, Ithink any goal is reachable,
(15:11):
right, as long as you'rerealistic and as long as you
reverse, engineer, right, andand say, ok, well, this is what
I have to do on a monthly basis,on a weekly basis, on a daily
basis, and and as long as youhold yourself accountable to
those daily tasks, you're goingto reach those goals, right?
Or if you're not reaching thosegoals on week two or a month or
(15:33):
one month in, ok, well, we haveto change our activity and look
at ourselves in the future andbe honest with ourselves so we
can change some of it.
So then we can reach our goal.
Many of us.
What tends to happen, jason, isis is we wait too long to
change?
Yeah, and then we say, I well,the years almost over, right?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
or this is who I am, yeah yeah right, right, yeah,
it's a big challenge and I seethis right, even even with
myself.
Right I'm, you know I have.
What I've realized is one ofthe limitations that you know
I'm navigating and figuring outis I wasn't a great student when
I was younger.
I did really well in graduateschool because it was something
that I was excited about andmotivated about, and I think a
(16:13):
lot of people have that,especially academically, where
you know they may not even haveever have that opportunity to be
turned on to a particular studyor subject.
And I think it's also greatabout the world of, like you
know, entrepreneurship and goingout there and creating
something, because it may havenothing to do with what you
learned in school, but for me itwas like not realizing that
like I love doing this, likestrategic mindset, therapeutic
(16:35):
work and seeing things andasking questions that Carlos
asks.
That wasn't taught to me inschool, right, because it's like
here's a curriculum, you do thecurriculum, you know the
curriculum, you pass.
If you don't, you fail.
And there was no creativity tothat.
You know there was no, therewas no music in that, there was
no right, there was no play inthat, and I see a lot of people
(16:57):
struggling, including myself, atdifferent developmental stages,
where you do hit the wall,where you might be doing
everything right, but it alsojust seems so exhausting to try
to do anything more ordifferently, and how easy it is
to just and it's not becauseit's not a positive mindset that
(17:17):
they're coming, it's notbecause they're not listening to
the right podcast and readingthe right books and watching the
right YouTube videos andtalking to people like you.
It's you know, I think, in 2023,people are also burnt out in
general and we do have thisoverwhelming even in the social
(17:38):
media world and the podcastworld.
Right, I'm one of them.
God knows how many millions ofpodcasts that exist out there.
At what point do we need tojust not get more information
and just lead back into the onesimple step, and who do we need
to talk to to get that onesimple step?
That's just a bit differentthan where we were, so we can
move away from that fatigue.
And I'm wondering if you haveanything to speak to on that,
(17:58):
because I see it.
I see it with the people whoI'm interviewing, you know, on
my show and they may beradically and wildly successful
multiple aspects of their lifebut there's something in their
life that's still causing themthat fatigue.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah, listen, I think that's what we're always, you
know, trying to figure out right, that balance, and especially
the people that you have on thispodcast, I'm pretty sure
they're highly successful andhighly motivated and those
individuals have this motivationwhere, right, sometimes, you
(18:35):
know, that motivation can causestrain and some other spokes of
the wheel and light, right.
So it's really about findingthat balance and we're always,
always working towards it.
Right, I have my goals, rightwhen it's my health and my
family and my finances and myprofession, and I don't think
(19:00):
I'm able to say that, you know,I was fully satisfied in every
spoke of the wheel at any givenpoint in my life, yet, right, so
I think it's about constantwork and I think what's made it
harder in that fatigue?
Jason, and you mentioned socialmedia and whatnot.
I think you know that samecomparison is a thief of all joy
(19:26):
, right, yeah, and we see it infront of other people.
We're comparing ourselveswhether we might be happy for
people, but subconsciously, andI think that that's where some
of the fatigue comes in because,right, we're comparing
ourselves to highlight reels.
We're comparing ourselves towhere we think we should be,
(19:46):
where man, like, sometimes,where we're at is exactly where
we need to be and if we werejust more present, we would just
be happier and not as tired.
You know, and I struggle withthat too, right, I think you
know.
You know, am I spending enoughtime with my family?
Am I doing enough, you know,for work?
Like, I might feel like Ihaven't figured out one day, but
(20:08):
the other day I might feel likewhat am I doing?
I think that that's a constantstruggle, but I think it's
surrounding yourself with theright people in your life to
remind you, right?
Hey, you know, if you're goingtoo hard, hey, like what is this
?
Why are you going too hard inthis?
For, like, you know, like whatare you thinking about?
Like we're here today?
Well, let's enjoy the moment.
Today I heard of I think was itHowie Mandel was in a podcast
(20:32):
and I saw maybe a Tik Tok clipor something right, and you know
Howie Mandel, you know he'sknown for being a germaphobe,
right, and just have a littlebit of anxiety always.
And he talked about how hereally in his, in his age, and
you know he, with his age, he'sreally now being present instead
(20:54):
of being anxious about tomorrowor depressed about the past.
He was doing a podcast and hegoes.
I'm grateful and you know what,jason, I'm grateful for doing
this podcast, and sometimes youdon't think about that.
Sometimes you know what?
I'm grateful that you found me,that we're able to have this
conversation and saying, wow,you know, you know I'm able to
hopefully provide value to atleast one person and help
(21:15):
somebody out.
And I think that when we, whenwe try to live in the moment, I
think that fatigue is going towear away a little bit, right,
because I feel like we're alwayschasing something, and I think
that is not, is not, you know,is mental fatigue.
I think, you know, and Istruggle with that.
I am very highly motivated.
You know, I woke up today at430 in the morning, right, and.
(21:38):
But then there's sometimeswhere you can stay to bed to 10
in the morning and play with thedogs and be okay.
So I think that's a constantbattle.
I think that that's what wealways try to seek, is that
balance, so that way we feelfull and all aspects of our life
right, and who knows if we'llever achieve it right, but as
long as we're working towards it, right.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah, I'm just resonating with what you're
saying on so many levels becauseit's, you know, you have all
these books like the MiracleMorning and the right, the 4am
club and the you know right,that whole thing, and you just
hinted at a little bit of thatin a way, and I also really
appreciate, like, but here, butit's also okay to stay with the
dog and with right and stay inbed with the family and right
and just lounge, and you know, Ithink that there's not enough
(22:23):
about when not to write, theseare the things that you should
do.
These are the right, these arethe 10 steps, these are the five
steps and if you follow thismethod and if you all this book
and you know, and God bless, allthose people who are putting
that out there that are workingfor them but I know that there's
not a one size fits all, butalso, no one's talking about
when not to do this, which therehas to be, like you just said,
(22:45):
right, and I think that's kindof maybe the least known secret
is these are all great, right,you want to follow the 10x rule,
or you want to follow theMiracle Morning, or you want to
follow whatever, any of thesewonderful, you know, you know
mindset books that are out there, the Wave, the Seal or whatever
right, or you know the DavidGoggins stuff and all those
things.
But when do you not do that?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Yeah, yeah, and I've and I've.
You know what.
You know, my family keeps me incheck sometimes, right, you know
, sometimes, and that's why youwant to be surrounded with
people, right, and I keep myemployees in check, and
sometimes, you know, they keep,and I think that you have to,
you know, surround yourself withpeople that are going to keep
you in check, because you know,I see myself present, you know,
(23:30):
with my family around, and it'sa beautiful moment.
But I'm thinking about something, an idea that I have, right, or
business, or whatever.
And you know, my wife would belike hey, hey, like you know,
like we're here, right, and Isnap out of it because, because
it's true, right, like you know,my kids are older, my
daughter's 20, my son is 16, anddown the road, we're going to
(23:52):
be empty nesters and we're goingto miss those moments.
And I see myself when she tellsme that I fast forward 10 years
from now, where, where I'm likeyou know what, like I remember
they were here and and, and Iwas thinking about something
else, or work, and I missed that.
I missed them, you know, yeah,so so you have to have people in
your life that are going tokeep you in check, you know.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
How have you found, through your journey about
having to ask or kick thosethings out of your life,
throughout your yourentrepreneur and personal
journey, of realizing that'ssomething, whether it's it's any
aspect right, it's something inyour personal world, something
in your professional world, andand becoming the type of person
(24:35):
that knows this needs to go andthen asserting that happens
because I find that that's verydifficult for a lot of people,
because that, right, we all wantto be liked, we all want to be
benevolent, we all want to belike.
You know they like me, you knowI've done good for them and I
don't want people to think badabout me.
What, what has that been?
Because I know that that's oneof the key markers of success?
(24:57):
Is that discernment and clarityof those things, what, what has
that been like for you on yourjourney?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
It's another great question.
You know what one of the thingsthat I'm most proud of you know
.
You know the few years in thebusiness.
I became a top performer andyou know I was able to build a
hundred million dollar branchwith my partner and my third
year in a business, and and, andI'm proud of that.
(25:27):
But what I'm most proud of is II believe you talking about
work life balance and I stillthink I need to Be present right
when I need to be present andbe appreciative of the now.
But I'm most proud of Feel.
I feel what I have.
I create my own schedule and Icreate my own time.
And have I lost business overthat?
(25:49):
Jason, absolutely, you know.
You know, because you know, Iremember being on stage a couple
years ago and a highlysuccessful broker, you know, was
wearing a A shirt and you know,and you know if you listen to
those podcast, I'm not sayingthat is the wrong way to do
business, highly successful, butyeah, that's just as pick up
your phone, right.
And I remember saying at anytime, at any given time, pick up
(26:09):
your phone.
Nine o'clock, pick up yourphone.
We just pick up your phone.
I don't, I don't work that way?
Right, I don't operate that way.
I have a calendar, right, Iwork through Calendly.
Anybody that I work with knowsI'm very responsive, but I'm not
gonna just pick up the phoneevery time you call, because if
I'm I'm, if I'm talking in apodcast with Jason, I'm, I'm
(26:30):
working, I'm talking to you.
If I'm talking to a client,right, I'm talking to that
client, you know.
So if I'm, if I'm on my son'sfootball game, I'm there.
So what happens is I block outtime, and that has helped me a
lot, right, by using a calendarhas helped me a lot.
And by setting thoseexpectations Around my team and
around the people that work withme has helped me a lot.
(26:53):
I've lost business because ofit.
Right, because it's a 930 and Iget a call, I'm not gonna pick
up.
Even if I could, I'm notbecause I don't want to set that
expectation.
Yeah, right.
So that's that has helped mebeing organized and being time
blocking and and and being ableto.
So, jesse Eichler, right, Ihave.
(27:16):
He has something called the bigass.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Calendar club.
Yep, I, I'm in that, I'm in theclub.
Be what you're in the wire.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Yeah, I, I love that because, you got to look at your
year and you get to say, okay,okay, these are my milestones
for work, so this is what I wantto accomplish.
So what happens is and youcolor coded and whatnot, right,
and it kind of says well, likemy calendar is full of all work
related stuff.
I don't have anything withfamily here, right?
I gotta take a vacation inbalance right.
(27:44):
Right.
So I think it's great becausebeing organized allows you to be
more balanced, right.
Even though I'm seeking tocontinue to be more present and
do more things, I feel like I'vedeveloped that reputation in my
field, right, where you know,even some people say, well, you
know you call, everybody's notgonna pick up the phone.
I even say, I even tell, I eventell my realtor partners, right
, you know, there's probably achance, there's 90% chance, that
(28:07):
I won't pick up the phone whenyou call, right, but that's
because but this is why, right,I'm very organized, I'm
following up, I'm gonna followup on your people, right, but I
will respond to you right away.
And then I have a team also.
That helps a lot of times.
People know who to call in myteam instead of calling me.
So what I do is I try todeflect Calls right, when they
(28:28):
don't have to be directedtowards me, right.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So that's the leverage part of it.
Yeah, yeah, right, and I thinkthis goes back down to and I
really it's funny I'm constantlygoing back to you know the root
cause, like you said, likewhat's the root cause like,
instead of focusing on with yoursales team and they're, like
you know, like, okay, what'scausing this in the first place?
You know, I'm finding that alot of struggles that people are
having, root cause stuff isjust boundaries, or nonbound, or
(28:54):
having a lack of boundaries,and how many things can we have
right, whether it's work, lifebalance and and professionalism,
and you know how many one toomany drinks or One too many, you
know spending one too manydollars or whatever it is.
That's all going back toboundaries and I maybe will Put
(29:15):
it out there for those that arelistening to see if, like they
can look at this ourconversation through that lens
of, is everything we're talkingabout really just a boundary?
Is the key to success reallyjust Identifying, having clean
and holding accountable to thoseand having other people hold
you to those, because, right,work, life balance is boundaries
(29:35):
.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yeah, yeah, that that's very interesting thought,
right?
I, I, you know, I think thatthat's a great way to look at
things you know we talk about,you know, looking at root causes
and and I have every Irecruited a large team To my
office and some of them, youknow, they have different levels
of experience but I said youknow, I said, hey, you know what
(29:57):
, one of the one of the bestways that we learn is from pain.
Right, it's, it's, it's painhopefully Right.
Yeah, so, so I have a call everyFriday, right, 30 minutes, and
I call it pain point Fridays.
Hey, I want everybody todiscuss their pain this week
because If you might experiencea pain that we can all learn
(30:21):
from so we can avoid that painin the future, right, if, if
there's a specific you knowFamily that you're helping, that
we miss deadlines and iscausing extra stress, let's,
let's dig into that.
What was the root cause of why?
What, what could we do better?
So I try to really instillaccountability and everybody
that works with me, because,first of all, I want people that
(30:43):
are accountable, I want peopleto look in the mirror and say,
hey, what could I have donebetter, instead of pointing
fingers, because we never grow,we point fingers, right.
So, so we have that that's onour calendar every Friday at 12
o'clock 30 minutes, pain pointFridays.
Let's, let's learn from eachother's pain.
And the whole point is I said,hey, guys, if in 30, if in 30
days, even 90 days, we stillhave to have 30 minute calls,
(31:06):
guess what we're not learningfrom the pain.
Right, we're doing this so wecan eliminate these calls.
Right, that's the kind of teamthat I want.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, and I do believe, like the beliefs,
assumptions and expectations wehave about whatever that
particular issue is, is what hasto be fleshed out, because it's
not the thing, it's your beliefabout the thing, right?
It's not that a person cut meoff.
It's my belief about what?
What?
It's not even the right, it'snot even that linear, like that
person person cut me off andtherefore they're not a good
person.
It's what is my belief aboutthe type of person that would
(31:35):
cut somebody else off, right?
Oh well, they're self-centeredand they only care about
themselves and they putthemselves on pedestals, and
okay.
So then, how do I make thatuniversal?
What is my belief about anybodywho is self-centered and
anybody who puts themself first?
Right now, you're getting to thenitty-gritty of where this
might be showing up in multiplescenarios that you don't even
realize, and I think that thatbeautiful, that Paint White
Friday, is such a cool thingwhere you can unpackage beliefs,
(31:56):
assumptions and expectations,going even deeper to that, and
okay.
Well, where else is thisshowing up?
Even outside of our calls andoutside of our, you know,
outside of this business foreverybody, because wherever we
go, there we are, we show upwith that.
We just don't realize we'reoblivious to it in some arenas
of our life and it's completelyblatant in some arenas of our
life.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
That's powerful.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So walk me through as we, as we kind of round up of
you know where as anybody,you're listening to this and
obviously there are people whoare really you know, I'm
assuming and hoping y'all areconnecting to this really
awesome conversation.
What are some of the resourcesand tools in which you know I
mean, I know you're up in Jersey, but you know where people can
(32:39):
obviously, said, you do speakingengagements and there's other
stuff going on in the world whatare the different ways that
people can benefit from yourexperience, from your wisdom,
from your, from your teams andeverything that you're putting
out into the world, and and thenhow we can leverage that.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Well, I think you know, first, before a teacher,
I'm a student, right, so I'mconstantly learning and evolving
, you know.
So, when I do have the speakingengagements and one that I
usually have, maybe anotherpartner right, even another
industry, so we have differentperspectives.
But I think, I think, you know,I've always had a coach, so
(33:17):
it's not like, you know, you'relistening to just Eric SFS speak
.
You're listening to a coachthat has had a lot more years of
experience and success that Ihave had, right, and anything
that I get taught, at least tomy team, and then even things
like this, jason, these podcasts, and you know, I listen to a
lot of great people and a lot ofgreat ideas and I use that in
(33:42):
my conversations with people.
Right, I tried to talk to topperformers in the industry so I
can know what their mindset isand what they're doing.
You know, and I use my platformto do that.
You know, I'm the incomingpresident of NAREP North Jersey,
which is the NationalAssociation of Hispanic
Willis-A-Professionals, andwe're the largest Latino
(34:04):
organization in the country and,yeah, you know what I use that
to now talk to highly successfulyou know these realtors and
lenders and make millions ofdollars on a yearly basis and I
invite them to speak, right, sowe do have.
So what you can find me, forexample, is we have four events
(34:24):
a year, right, educationalevents to really educate our
real estate professionals, and alot of times, not even me
speaking is these highlysuccessful individuals that are
speaking.
We have one on October 12th,right in New Jersey, you know.
So we try to do it.
Tonight I have a, so I talkabout, so I bring forth people
(34:45):
that are already excelling inthis tight inventory market to
teach others, but then I'm alsogoing tonight, you know, to a
local church, right at eighto'clock in Newark, new Jersey,
to teach first time home buyingseminars, right, so, right.
So I go from hundreds of peopleto a room maybe with 15 people,
(35:07):
because this is what I reallyenjoy is, you know, is helping
people through education, andthat's how I've built my
business, and I know that that'show I'm going to continue to
build my business is right, notonly this business, but others
as well, because, you know, Ilove to teach and by teaching I
feel like I get better.
Right, I learn when I teach,yeah, so, but yeah, you know, I
(35:29):
do these events through NARAP, Ido masterminds, right, I do
webinars and seminars, you knowso.
So, yeah, you know, I alwaysjust try to see what's out there
and see what people are feeling, and my job is to have
conversations with people everyday, so I think I'm in tune with
what people are feeling outthere and what they need
(35:50):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
And where can people track you down?
Speaker 3 (35:54):
You go to Instagram Eric Estevez the lender.
Sorry, instagram is the EricEstevez.
I just mentioned my TikTok,which is Eric Estevez the lender
, because I'm also on TikTok andI try to be funny on there as
well.
I try to put humor in withlending, which is typically like
(36:15):
an oxymoron, you know.
But yeah, we just had aspeaking of that, we just had a
nation's lending, we had ourfirst comedy night ever, so we
had four New York City comedianscome in last week.
I have a friend of mine who's acomedian, professional comedian
and what we did is we said, hey, you know what?
Let's recognize the people thatwe're doing business with.
So we call it, we call theclosings in comedy, and then it
(36:36):
was a wild success and now wewant to do this every month
right, that's awesome.
Where the people that arehelping families with us, we can
go ahead and we can laughtogether, because I think that's
one of the best things that wecan do to connect.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I think that's such a good opportunity that anybody
listening, in any industrywhether you're working for
someone else or you're anemployee, or you're an employer,
or you're in theentrepreneurial space is finding
the overlapping, you know,between what your industry that
you're in is doing and somethingelse that you're passionate
about or that you find joyfuland playful, and bringing people
together to do that.
And what a great opportunityfor people to connect, for
(37:12):
people who are like-minded, tobe amongst and around each other
.
Right, whether again, like,whether you're speaking on a
stage in front of a thousandpeople or whether you're going
to a church and speaking to 15people, right, everybody, I'm
assuming, showing up it's a safeassumption is that they're
like-minded people that want tolearn something new, that want
to be around other people thatare also putting themselves in
this place to do somethingthat's uncomfortable and new for
(37:33):
them and sometimes, like yousaid in this comedy evening,
also could be fun.
So, you know, I challengepeople out there to think about
that.
Like, what could you do in yourown specific world, whether
it's personally orprofessionally, where you can
add and invite more people tojoin you, whether it's a hobby
and you're somewhere and you'relike I really want to do this,
but I don't have anybody.
(37:53):
Are you inviting them to do it?
Are you getting two or threepeople together and saying, well
, what can we do and who can weinvite amongst the two or three
of us, instead of trying to doit all alone?
And if it's professionally,where can you overlap with
another industry or justsomething that you wouldn't
think would be connected butit's still in alignment with
that, and invite people to joinyou on that journey?
(38:14):
And I think that's such a coolwrapping up point for our
conversation.
And, eric, I really do want tothank you.
I know we had a few a month ago.
We tried to connect and itdidn't work out and thankfully
it was able to happen today andI'm really, really appreciative
for the deep dive that we wentinto.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Jason, thank you very much for your time.
I enjoyed my time with you and,yeah, we talk to me guys.
I'd love to help you.
If you have any questions, withanything really say related or
business related, I would loveto have a conversation Awesome.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
All right, and if you got any benefit which I'm
assuming you did, because Ican't be the only one really
gleaning all these wonderfultidbits from our guests please,
please, please, just do us afavor, just right.
We, eric, gave you his, hisInstagram before in a stick talk
.
If you're on any of thoseplatforms, just just give him a
follow.
And if you want to reach out tohim that way, that's awesome
and, like you said, he's morethan happy to hear from you.
(39:06):
But also just go on any of thereview sites iTunes or Apple or
any of those things and just letus know that you're listening.
And if this episode or anyother episode was beneficial to
you or to someone you know wouldbenefit from it, just share it
out.
We don't have crazy sponsors oranything like that.
This is just something that I'ma passionate about, is a
project and outpouring of myprivate practice as a therapist
and entrepreneur coach, but justlet us know that you're
(39:27):
listening, tell us where you are, you know, get in touch with me
as well, and I alwaysappreciate that.
And again, eric will, will,will be in touch and we'll talk
soon.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Thanks for listening to the you winning life podcast.
If you are ready to minimizeyour personal and professional
struggles and maximize yourpotential, we would love it if
you subscribe so you don't missan episode.
You can follow us on Instagramand Facebook at Jason Wasser
LMFT.
This is the you Winning Life podcast your number
one source for mastering apositive existence.
Each episode will beinterviewing exceptional people
giving you empowering insightsand guiding you to extraordinary
outcomes.
Learn from specialists in theworlds of integrative and
natural wellness, spirituality,psychology and entrepreneurship
(00:22):
so you, too, can be winning life.
Now here's your host licensedmarriage and family therapist,
certified neuro emotionaltechnique practitioner and
certified entrepreneur coach,jason Wasser.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right, everybody, welcome back to another
spectacular, insightful andempowering episode of the you
Winning Life podcast and, as youknow, eric is joining us today
and we're gonna be talking abouta bunch of really tactical and
practical topics.
So, eric, thanks so much forhanging out with us today.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Jason, it was always a pleasure.
Thank you for having me Ofcourse.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
So you know, short of the bio that people get when
they see the podcast pop up andthe introduction that you get at
the beginning of the episode,let's unpackage a little bit
more of your personal journey,because, you know, one of the
things that I love talking aboutis how do people get from point
A to point, whatever it may beand it may not even be point B,
(01:23):
maybe point Q at this point or Rand people see individuals such
as yourself only for wherethey're at now.
They may hear about the story,but they don't get and
understand what it took to getthere that we can leverage and
utilize for ourselves.
So let's start off with thatand then we'll take it to all
(01:48):
the places that I know we'regoing to go to.
So yeah.
So who are you?
What are you?
What's going on?
Let me throw that at you.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Thank you, jason.
I mean listen, first andforemost, I'm a father of two
children, husband, you know, andin the last six years or so,
I've built a mortgage business.
You know, after meeting, youknow teams and you know Fortune
50 companies, hundreds of peopleat a time, and you know I
(02:19):
always had an entrepreneurialbug.
Right, I always wanted to workfor myself.
So, you know, after leveraging,you know RSUs and stock options
and whatnot right To reallyleave that world behind.
I started a mortgage businessand you know, just like any
business, the first few yearsare just grinding it out and
learning as much as you can.
(02:40):
And then you start to scale andbuild teams and processes and
whatnot.
And that's where I'm at now,you know.
So the mortgage industry isstill my bread and butter.
I've since, you know, builtsome auxiliary businesses just
because of the conversationsthat I've been having in the
mortgage world, you know, forexample, you know I've used
(03:03):
virtual assistants, isas, forquite some time and in the
coaching world and I teachclasses and whatnot.
This comes up a lot, right?
So I made a business out ofthat, right?
So you know what, instead of metalking about it and you know,
telling people where to go.
Why can't I provide thatservice?
So I partnered with somebodywho helped me with the back-end
(03:24):
operations, and we do have avirtual assistant company to
help leverage, you know, smallbusiness owners.
But mortgage is my bread andbutter.
In addition to that, you know,one of my passion projects is,
you know, my daughter is a musicrecording artist, you know.
So we started a small recordlabel and we're just right.
(03:45):
Now we're in the rumbles andtumble of things.
Right, we're in the weeds,we're learning and you know it
takes years, right to make it.
So she's just reporting.
And you know, we produced andreleased our own music video,
right, and every other monthwe're releasing a single.
So I'm learning the musicbusiness as well.
So that's more of a passionproject.
But it does take money, jason,right, yeah, of course.
(04:07):
So it's fun because I'm doingthat alongside my daughter and
that's her passion.
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
That's amazing.
So I want to go back tosomething that you said of, like
you started off in one placeand you had to learn what you
had to learn, and then youjumped out and went
entrepreneurial and then you hadto kind of learn what you had
to learn until you got toanother level of success.
And I'm hearing and knowingthat that's consistently part of
(04:34):
this process that we think thatif we just do this long enough,
we're going to be able to jumpship, start something new, and
it's just going to be easy or wehave everything we need ready
to go.
So I'm curious, just you know,as the first, maybe deep dive of
our conversation is what didn'tyou know in these different
(04:54):
developmental stages?
That has been that once youlearned it, you realized how
foundationally powerful andimpactful it was to what you
needed to be doing, bothpersonally and professionally.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
That's a great question, you know, listen, I
think in the beginning I didn'tknow what I didn't know.
So I was able to use some of myleadership skills to build
teams, which I knew is somethingthat needed to happen quickly
to be successful in this world,and I was able to create good
cultures and whatnot.
(05:30):
But when I left my priorindustry as a leader, I had a
lot of people that report to meand I was more like the maestro
right, like the.
You know, I kind of had greatpeople around me and I was a big
, big picture kind of guy.
And when I came into themortgage industry I thought that
(05:50):
that was gonna translate.
But I learned real quickly thatI had to learn right the weeds
of the business so I could bedangerous enough, right, you
know, I still surround myselfwith great people and I know
who's gonna surpass my knowledgeright, when I hire people,
which is, you know, one of thegreat skill sets of really
(06:12):
building a great team is hiringpeople that are better at using
certain skill sets.
But you know, I think I tried tomove too fast and not learn
right the fundamentals and spentas much time as fundamental.
So, for example, I was alwaysfocused on connecting with
people and sales and people gaveme opportunities to help
(06:36):
families.
But, you know, I made mistakesbecause I wasn't in tune right
with the details of my businessand it took months and months
and months to developrelationships and have
opportunities to help.
You know, families financetheir homes but because of my
lack of knowledge in some cases,you know, I lost those
(06:59):
relationships quickly, right.
So now, how I lead is you haveto be good enough to do this on
your own.
You have to be dangerous enoughto really be able to help a
family and answer all questionsbefore you really build a team,
because you're gonna be theteacher, right, and you're gonna
(07:19):
end up those people are gonnawind up excelling in a specific
task along, you know, step alongthe process.
But you have to be good, right,and I think that in this
industry that I'm in, I'm kindof going back to that and saying
, okay, what are some of thethings that I've lost?
I have to get better at this soI can teach my team and I can
(07:40):
lead by example and set thatexample, and that's what I'm
doing right now, jason.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yeah, the fundamentals and I see this in
every aspect, like, as you know,when I'm working with families
or couples or individuals, thatwe can only attract to the level
of the awareness, the wisdom orthe personal internal work, the
therapeutic work that we'vedone right.
We can't get anything greaterthan that.
We can't attract a partnerhealthier than that.
(08:06):
And you know, the whole idea islike you know, we attract what
we've done right and what we'reaware of and what we're not
aware of.
So when I hear people like, ah,this business partner screwed
me over, I'm like, yeah, butlike you met with them more than
once and didn't see thesethings, so what's going on with
you that you're not takingownership and accountability for
?
Versus saying like, how did Iknow?
How did I not know?
(08:26):
Right, and I see this on everylevel of relationships and every
level of even businesses, wherethere's that blind eye or
that's that they don't evenrealize that the circuit breaker
not only does it not exist, orthat it exists, but it's also
off right and they don't evenknow to look for that.
So I find that's such apowerful component of personal
(08:46):
growth and development, whetherit's personal or professionally
is how to know what to work onhow to know how not to walk in
with ego, how to not walk inwith arrogance and cockiness,
and I think one of the thingsthat scares people from the
non-tropinorial journey isseeing people who do carry that
brash ego, grind, rise and grindmentality that doesn't
(09:08):
necessarily fit authenticallyfor them, versus seeing this as
a path to, like, personalfulfillment and personal growth
and, like you said, helpingothers.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yeah, yeah, I think, you know, you have to always be
a student.
I think I think that the mostsuccessful people, right in any,
in any field, right, are alwaysinquisitive, are always trying
to learn, no matter their levelof success.
And I think when you open tolearning and and you know what
you know, it doesn't matter theage is, it's experience, right,
(09:41):
if there's a lot of young folkthat doing things and that I
want to do, right and and Iasked questions and I'm
inquisitive and I'm open, andthat's how you really start to
gain relationships and you startto, you know, really build a
circle of influential people inyour life.
Right when you, when you cometo them and say, hey, I want to
learn from you in all aspects,whether it's from a business
(10:03):
perspective right, if it's afamily man, that you know that,
just holding it down right.
And you know, and, andespecially since I'm branching
off into the, you know, virtualassistant, you know world, right
, I see I see people that aredoing it 10 times better than me
and I want to want to learn,and especially now, you know, in
the music industry is totallyforeign to me.
(10:24):
Not only am I reading books totry to you know, you know, get
the theory correct, but it'smeeting with as many people as
possible right, and and and I'vebeen my, my daughter has been
given opportunities becausewe've come with this hey, I want
to learn from a family,mentality right and people.
You know what success?
Successful people want to wantto teach right.
(10:44):
And guess what, when you teach,you learn and you get better
yourself too.
So I think I think you talkabout, you know you mentioned
that that thing that's veryimportant is is not having ego
and and and just say, hey, I'mhere to learn Right.
Even even myself as the teacher, sometimes in classes and
seminars, I can learn from mycolleagues that have been doing
(11:06):
this for less than me, becauseyou know they might hear
something right or knowsomething or got taught
something that I say, wow, likethat.
And I think that that's how youhave to lead your life right
and I think that that's how youkind of flatten that learning
curve a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeah.
So one of the things I guess Iwant to ask is is you know
you've taken on these new roles,these new responsibilities,
these new passion projects, andone of the things I feel that
people have a difficult timewith is discerning between what
they should go down the rabbithole and take on themselves and
what they should leverage out,even if you know it's that idea
(11:44):
of like I can have 100% ofsomething, or I can have, you
know, 100% of nothing, or 20% ofsomething, right, and then the
other people like, well, if I doit all myself, then I'll have
100% of that.
And I think that you're a goodexample of you know, especially
with this virtual assistantmindset of like everything is
about leverage and everything isabout bringing people in that
right and, like you said, youcan only train them to the point
(12:06):
of what you know and you can'tget them past that.
How have you discerned, or howhave you learned to discern,
between what you should beabsolutely all in on and what
you should leverage out?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
That's.
That's another amazing question, and I think it all comes down
to accountability, right, and Ithink not only do you have to
always be learning, like I justmentioned, you have to be
accountable and really get andreally know who you are, which
are good at and what you suck atRight, and I think we have to.
You know, sometimes we're nothonest with ourselves and if you
(12:39):
know, like I know for a fact,that, for example, I hate
conflict Right For so many yearsand I was a leader, right, I
led through my personality and Igained, buy and, but you know,
sometimes that's just not, youknow that's not the way the
world is Right, and I hateconflict and I avoid it right.
So I think I have to havepeople in my team that run right
(13:00):
towards that conflict right,because I can get better at it,
but, but that's not innate in me.
I also don't like details toomuch, right, I'm not in so, and
I have to get better at thosethings.
But like I know, for example,that I have to refer to somebody
on my team is always going tofact check me right, and I'm not
(13:21):
going to be able to do thatbecause, because I'm good at
building relationships, right,I'm good at big picture thinking
, I'm good at rallying people.
So I think you know thataccountability knowing what
you're good at and what you'renot good at is going to allow
you now to right, outsourcehigher people that are going to
be doing, that are going to dothe things that you're not that
great at right.
(13:42):
If, if building a business takesdifferent types of
personalities like, let's say, Ihad a partner at one point and
we were opposites, right, youknow he was really strong and
the things that I was reallyweak on and it really worked,
you know it really worked, youknow.
So the thing is that sometimesyou got to just okay, what am I
good at?
Now?
I know that I'm good at havingconversations, talking to people
(14:04):
, building relationships,teaching people.
So, when I look at my day andI'm going back to accountability
, right, and I'm very structuredand that's also, I think, very
important for any business, forany business to be able to be
organized or is really beorganized, and that comes with
time but I'm able to look at myday and I'm able to say, ok,
well, how do I spend my daytoday?
How do I spend my day last, myweek, last week?
(14:26):
How do I spend my month?
And if I was, if I wasn't doingthe things that I was good at,
right, then I would be able tomaximize my potential.
Right, and I teach that to myteam.
You know I say OK, well, ifyou're not doing sales related
activities, right.
If you're.
If you're fighting fires allthe time, right, what caused the
fire?
(14:46):
Instead of fighting, you know,I got to fix how that fire came
to be in the first place, toeliminate those things in your
day so you can focus on thethings that you're good at.
You can focus on those salesactivities.
And I think you know it goesback to accountability, and, and
and looking at your, your dayand you're weak and analyze in
it, right, and, and you know, Ithink any goal is reachable,
(15:11):
right, as long as you'rerealistic and as long as you
reverse, engineer, right, andand say, ok, well, this is what
I have to do on a monthly basis,on a weekly basis, on a daily
basis, and and as long as youhold yourself accountable to
those daily tasks, you're goingto reach those goals, right?
Or if you're not reaching thosegoals on week two or a month or
(15:33):
one month in, ok, well, we haveto change our activity and look
at ourselves in the future andbe honest with ourselves so we
can change some of it.
So then we can reach our goal.
Many of us.
What tends to happen, jason, isis is we wait too long to
change?
Yeah, and then we say, I well,the years almost over, right?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
or this is who I am, yeah yeah right, right, yeah,
it's a big challenge and I seethis right, even even with
myself.
Right I'm, you know I have.
What I've realized is one ofthe limitations that you know
I'm navigating and figuring outis I wasn't a great student when
I was younger.
I did really well in graduateschool because it was something
that I was excited about andmotivated about, and I think a
(16:13):
lot of people have that,especially academically, where
you know they may not even haveever have that opportunity to be
turned on to a particular studyor subject.
And I think it's also greatabout the world of, like you
know, entrepreneurship and goingout there and creating
something, because it may havenothing to do with what you
learned in school, but for me itwas like not realizing that
like I love doing this, likestrategic mindset, therapeutic
(16:35):
work and seeing things andasking questions that Carlos
asks.
That wasn't taught to me inschool, right, because it's like
here's a curriculum, you do thecurriculum, you know the
curriculum, you pass.
If you don't, you fail.
And there was no creativity tothat.
You know there was no, therewas no music in that, there was
no right, there was no play inthat, and I see a lot of people
(16:57):
struggling, including myself, atdifferent developmental stages,
where you do hit the wall,where you might be doing
everything right, but it alsojust seems so exhausting to try
to do anything more ordifferently, and how easy it is
to just and it's not becauseit's not a positive mindset that
(17:17):
they're coming, it's notbecause they're not listening to
the right podcast and readingthe right books and watching the
right YouTube videos andtalking to people like you.
It's you know, I think, in 2023,people are also burnt out in
general and we do have thisoverwhelming even in the social
(17:38):
media world and the podcastworld.
Right, I'm one of them.
God knows how many millions ofpodcasts that exist out there.
At what point do we need tojust not get more information
and just lead back into the onesimple step, and who do we need
to talk to to get that onesimple step?
That's just a bit differentthan where we were, so we can
move away from that fatigue.
And I'm wondering if you haveanything to speak to on that,
(17:58):
because I see it.
I see it with the people whoI'm interviewing, you know, on
my show and they may beradically and wildly successful
multiple aspects of their lifebut there's something in their
life that's still causing themthat fatigue.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Yeah, listen, I think that's what we're always, you
know, trying to figure out right, that balance, and especially
the people that you have on thispodcast, I'm pretty sure
they're highly successful andhighly motivated and those
individuals have this motivationwhere, right, sometimes, you
(18:35):
know, that motivation can causestrain and some other spokes of
the wheel and light, right.
So it's really about findingthat balance and we're always,
always working towards it.
Right, I have my goals, rightwhen it's my health and my
family and my finances and myprofession, and I don't think
(19:00):
I'm able to say that, you know,I was fully satisfied in every
spoke of the wheel at any givenpoint in my life, yet, right, so
I think it's about constantwork and I think what's made it
harder in that fatigue?
Jason, and you mentioned socialmedia and whatnot.
I think you know that samecomparison is a thief of all joy
(19:26):
, right, yeah, and we see it infront of other people.
We're comparing ourselveswhether we might be happy for
people, but subconsciously, andI think that that's where some
of the fatigue comes in because,right, we're comparing
ourselves to highlight reels.
We're comparing ourselves towhere we think we should be,
(19:46):
where man, like, sometimes,where we're at is exactly where
we need to be and if we werejust more present, we would just
be happier and not as tired.
You know, and I struggle withthat too, right, I think you
know.
You know, am I spending enoughtime with my family?
Am I doing enough, you know,for work?
Like, I might feel like Ihaven't figured out one day, but
(20:08):
the other day I might feel likewhat am I doing?
I think that that's a constantstruggle, but I think it's
surrounding yourself with theright people in your life to
remind you, right?
Hey, you know, if you're goingtoo hard, hey, like what is this
?
Why are you going too hard inthis?
For, like, you know, like whatare you thinking about?
Like we're here today?
Well, let's enjoy the moment.
Today I heard of I think was itHowie Mandel was in a podcast
(20:32):
and I saw maybe a Tik Tok clipor something right, and you know
Howie Mandel, you know he'sknown for being a germaphobe,
right, and just have a littlebit of anxiety always.
And he talked about how hereally in his, in his age, and
you know he, with his age, he'sreally now being present instead
(20:54):
of being anxious about tomorrowor depressed about the past.
He was doing a podcast and hegoes.
I'm grateful and you know what,jason, I'm grateful for doing
this podcast, and sometimes youdon't think about that.
Sometimes you know what?
I'm grateful that you found me,that we're able to have this
conversation and saying, wow,you know, you know I'm able to
hopefully provide value to atleast one person and help
(21:15):
somebody out.
And I think that when we, whenwe try to live in the moment, I
think that fatigue is going towear away a little bit, right,
because I feel like we're alwayschasing something, and I think
that is not, is not, you know,is mental fatigue.
I think, you know, and Istruggle with that.
I am very highly motivated.
You know, I woke up today at430 in the morning, right, and.
(21:38):
But then there's sometimeswhere you can stay to bed to 10
in the morning and play with thedogs and be okay.
So I think that's a constantbattle.
I think that that's what wealways try to seek, is that
balance, so that way we feelfull and all aspects of our life
right, and who knows if we'llever achieve it right, but as
long as we're working towards it, right.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah, I'm just resonating with what you're
saying on so many levels becauseit's, you know, you have all
these books like the MiracleMorning and the right, the 4am
club and the you know right,that whole thing, and you just
hinted at a little bit of thatin a way, and I also really
appreciate, like, but here, butit's also okay to stay with the
dog and with right and stay inbed with the family and right
and just lounge, and you know, Ithink that there's not enough
(22:23):
about when not to write, theseare the things that you should
do.
These are the right, these arethe 10 steps, these are the five
steps and if you follow thismethod and if you all this book
and you know, and God bless, allthose people who are putting
that out there that are workingfor them but I know that there's
not a one size fits all, butalso, no one's talking about
when not to do this, which therehas to be, like you just said,
(22:45):
right, and I think that's kindof maybe the least known secret
is these are all great, right,you want to follow the 10x rule,
or you want to follow theMiracle Morning, or you want to
follow whatever, any of thesewonderful, you know, you know
mindset books that are out there, the Wave, the Seal or whatever
right, or you know the DavidGoggins stuff and all those
things.
But when do you not do that?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Yeah, yeah, and I've and I've.
You know what.
You know, my family keeps me incheck sometimes, right, you know
, sometimes, and that's why youwant to be surrounded with
people, right, and I keep myemployees in check, and
sometimes, you know, they keep,and I think that you have to,
you know, surround yourself withpeople that are going to keep
you in check, because you know,I see myself present, you know,
(23:30):
with my family around, and it'sa beautiful moment.
But I'm thinking about something, an idea that I have, right, or
business, or whatever.
And you know, my wife would belike hey, hey, like you know,
like we're here, right, and Isnap out of it because, because
it's true, right, like you know,my kids are older, my
daughter's 20, my son is 16, anddown the road, we're going to
(23:52):
be empty nesters and we're goingto miss those moments.
And I see myself when she tellsme that I fast forward 10 years
from now, where, where I'm likeyou know what, like I remember
they were here and and, and Iwas thinking about something
else, or work, and I missed that.
I missed them, you know, yeah,so so you have to have people in
your life that are going tokeep you in check, you know.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
How have you found, through your journey about
having to ask or kick thosethings out of your life,
throughout your yourentrepreneur and personal
journey, of realizing that'ssomething, whether it's it's any
aspect right, it's something inyour personal world, something
in your professional world, andand becoming the type of person
(24:35):
that knows this needs to go andthen asserting that happens
because I find that that's verydifficult for a lot of people,
because that, right, we all wantto be liked, we all want to be
benevolent, we all want to belike.
You know they like me, you knowI've done good for them and I
don't want people to think badabout me.
What, what has that been?
Because I know that that's oneof the key markers of success?
(24:57):
Is that discernment and clarityof those things, what, what has
that been like for you on yourjourney?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
It's another great question.
You know what one of the thingsthat I'm most proud of you know
.
You know the few years in thebusiness.
I became a top performer andyou know I was able to build a
hundred million dollar branchwith my partner and my third
year in a business, and and, andI'm proud of that.
(25:27):
But what I'm most proud of is II believe you talking about
work life balance and I stillthink I need to Be present right
when I need to be present andbe appreciative of the now.
But I'm most proud of Feel.
I feel what I have.
I create my own schedule and Icreate my own time.
And have I lost business overthat?
(25:49):
Jason, absolutely, you know.
You know, because you know, Iremember being on stage a couple
years ago and a highlysuccessful broker, you know, was
wearing a A shirt and you know,and you know if you listen to
those podcast, I'm not sayingthat is the wrong way to do
business, highly successful, butyeah, that's just as pick up
your phone, right.
And I remember saying at anytime, at any given time, pick up
(26:09):
your phone.
Nine o'clock, pick up yourphone.
We just pick up your phone.
I don't, I don't work that way?
Right, I don't operate that way.
I have a calendar, right, Iwork through Calendly.
Anybody that I work with knowsI'm very responsive, but I'm not
gonna just pick up the phoneevery time you call, because if
I'm I'm, if I'm talking in apodcast with Jason, I'm, I'm
(26:30):
working, I'm talking to you.
If I'm talking to a client,right, I'm talking to that
client, you know.
So if I'm, if I'm on my son'sfootball game, I'm there.
So what happens is I block outtime, and that has helped me a
lot, right, by using a calendarhas helped me a lot.
And by setting thoseexpectations Around my team and
around the people that work withme has helped me a lot.
(26:53):
I've lost business because ofit.
Right, because it's a 930 and Iget a call, I'm not gonna pick
up.
Even if I could, I'm notbecause I don't want to set that
expectation.
Yeah, right.
So that's that has helped mebeing organized and being time
blocking and and and being ableto.
So, jesse Eichler, right, Ihave.
(27:16):
He has something called the bigass.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Calendar club.
Yep, I, I'm in that, I'm in theclub.
Be what you're in the wire.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Yeah, I, I love that because, you got to look at your
year and you get to say, okay,okay, these are my milestones
for work, so this is what I wantto accomplish.
So what happens is and youcolor coded and whatnot, right,
and it kind of says well, likemy calendar is full of all work
related stuff.
I don't have anything withfamily here, right?
I gotta take a vacation inbalance right.
(27:44):
Right.
So I think it's great becausebeing organized allows you to be
more balanced, right.
Even though I'm seeking tocontinue to be more present and
do more things, I feel like I'vedeveloped that reputation in my
field, right, where you know,even some people say, well, you
know you call, everybody's notgonna pick up the phone.
I even say, I even tell, I eventell my realtor partners, right
, you know, there's probably achance, there's 90% chance, that
(28:07):
I won't pick up the phone whenyou call, right, but that's
because but this is why, right,I'm very organized, I'm
following up, I'm gonna followup on your people, right, but I
will respond to you right away.
And then I have a team also.
That helps a lot of times.
People know who to call in myteam instead of calling me.
So what I do is I try todeflect Calls right, when they
(28:28):
don't have to be directedtowards me, right.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So that's the leverage part of it.
Yeah, yeah, right, and I thinkthis goes back down to and I
really it's funny I'm constantlygoing back to you know the root
cause, like you said, likewhat's the root cause like,
instead of focusing on with yoursales team and they're, like
you know, like, okay, what'scausing this in the first place?
You know, I'm finding that alot of struggles that people are
having, root cause stuff isjust boundaries, or nonbound, or
(28:54):
having a lack of boundaries,and how many things can we have
right, whether it's work, lifebalance and and professionalism,
and you know how many one toomany drinks or One too many, you
know spending one too manydollars or whatever it is.
That's all going back toboundaries and I maybe will Put
(29:15):
it out there for those that arelistening to see if, like they
can look at this ourconversation through that lens
of, is everything we're talkingabout really just a boundary?
Is the key to success reallyjust Identifying, having clean
and holding accountable to thoseand having other people hold
you to those, because, right,work, life balance is boundaries
(29:35):
.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yeah, yeah, that that's very interesting thought,
right?
I, I, you know, I think thatthat's a great way to look at
things you know we talk about,you know, looking at root causes
and and I have every Irecruited a large team To my
office and some of them, youknow, they have different levels
of experience but I said youknow, I said, hey, you know what
(29:57):
, one of the one of the bestways that we learn is from pain.
Right, it's, it's, it's painhopefully Right.
Yeah, so, so I have a call everyFriday, right, 30 minutes, and
I call it pain point Fridays.
Hey, I want everybody todiscuss their pain this week
because If you might experiencea pain that we can all learn
(30:21):
from so we can avoid that painin the future, right, if, if
there's a specific you knowFamily that you're helping, that
we miss deadlines and iscausing extra stress, let's,
let's dig into that.
What was the root cause of why?
What, what could we do better?
So I try to really instillaccountability and everybody
that works with me, because,first of all, I want people that
(30:43):
are accountable, I want peopleto look in the mirror and say,
hey, what could I have donebetter, instead of pointing
fingers, because we never grow,we point fingers, right.
So, so we have that that's onour calendar every Friday at 12
o'clock 30 minutes, pain pointFridays.
Let's, let's learn from eachother's pain.
And the whole point is I said,hey, guys, if in 30, if in 30
days, even 90 days, we stillhave to have 30 minute calls,
(31:06):
guess what we're not learningfrom the pain.
Right, we're doing this so wecan eliminate these calls.
Right, that's the kind of teamthat I want.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, and I do believe, like the beliefs,
assumptions and expectations wehave about whatever that
particular issue is, is what hasto be fleshed out, because it's
not the thing, it's your beliefabout the thing, right?
It's not that a person cut meoff.
It's my belief about what?
What?
It's not even the right, it'snot even that linear, like that
person person cut me off andtherefore they're not a good
person.
It's what is my belief aboutthe type of person that would
(31:35):
cut somebody else off, right?
Oh well, they're self-centeredand they only care about
themselves and they putthemselves on pedestals, and
okay.
So then, how do I make thatuniversal?
What is my belief about anybodywho is self-centered and
anybody who puts themself first?
Right now, you're getting to thenitty-gritty of where this
might be showing up in multiplescenarios that you don't even
realize, and I think that thatbeautiful, that Paint White
Friday, is such a cool thingwhere you can unpackage beliefs,
(31:56):
assumptions and expectations,going even deeper to that, and
okay.
Well, where else is thisshowing up?
Even outside of our calls andoutside of our, you know,
outside of this business foreverybody, because wherever we
go, there we are, we show upwith that.
We just don't realize we'reoblivious to it in some arenas
of our life and it's completelyblatant in some arenas of our
life.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
That's powerful.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
So walk me through as we, as we kind of round up of
you know where as anybody,you're listening to this and
obviously there are people whoare really you know, I'm
assuming and hoping y'all areconnecting to this really
awesome conversation.
What are some of the resourcesand tools in which you know I
mean, I know you're up in Jersey, but you know where people can
(32:39):
obviously, said, you do speakingengagements and there's other
stuff going on in the world whatare the different ways that
people can benefit from yourexperience, from your wisdom,
from your, from your teams andeverything that you're putting
out into the world, and and thenhow we can leverage that.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Well, I think you know, first, before a teacher,
I'm a student, right, so I'mconstantly learning and evolving
, you know.
So, when I do have the speakingengagements and one that I
usually have, maybe anotherpartner right, even another
industry, so we have differentperspectives.
But I think, I think, you know,I've always had a coach, so
(33:17):
it's not like, you know, you'relistening to just Eric SFS speak
.
You're listening to a coachthat has had a lot more years of
experience and success that Ihave had, right, and anything
that I get taught, at least tomy team, and then even things
like this, jason, these podcasts, and you know, I listen to a
lot of great people and a lot ofgreat ideas and I use that in
(33:42):
my conversations with people.
Right, I tried to talk to topperformers in the industry so I
can know what their mindset isand what they're doing.
You know, and I use my platformto do that.
You know, I'm the incomingpresident of NAREP North Jersey,
which is the NationalAssociation of Hispanic
Willis-A-Professionals, andwe're the largest Latino
(34:04):
organization in the country and,yeah, you know what I use that
to now talk to highly successfulyou know these realtors and
lenders and make millions ofdollars on a yearly basis and I
invite them to speak, right, sowe do have.
So what you can find me, forexample, is we have four events
(34:24):
a year, right, educationalevents to really educate our
real estate professionals, and alot of times, not even me
speaking is these highlysuccessful individuals that are
speaking.
We have one on October 12th,right in New Jersey, you know.
So we try to do it.
Tonight I have a, so I talkabout, so I bring forth people
(34:45):
that are already excelling inthis tight inventory market to
teach others, but then I'm alsogoing tonight, you know, to a
local church, right at eighto'clock in Newark, new Jersey,
to teach first time home buyingseminars, right, so, right.
So I go from hundreds of peopleto a room maybe with 15 people,
(35:07):
because this is what I reallyenjoy is, you know, is helping
people through education, andthat's how I've built my
business, and I know that that'show I'm going to continue to
build my business is right, notonly this business, but others
as well, because, you know, Ilove to teach and by teaching I
feel like I get better.
Right, I learn when I teach,yeah, so, but yeah, you know, I
(35:29):
do these events through NARAP, Ido masterminds, right, I do
webinars and seminars, you knowso.
So, yeah, you know, I alwaysjust try to see what's out there
and see what people are feeling, and my job is to have
conversations with people everyday, so I think I'm in tune with
what people are feeling outthere and what they need
(35:50):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
And where can people track you down?
Speaker 3 (35:54):
You go to Instagram Eric Estevez the lender.
Sorry, instagram is the EricEstevez.
I just mentioned my TikTok,which is Eric Estevez the lender
, because I'm also on TikTok andI try to be funny on there as
well.
I try to put humor in withlending, which is typically like
(36:15):
an oxymoron, you know.
But yeah, we just had aspeaking of that, we just had a
nation's lending, we had ourfirst comedy night ever, so we
had four New York City comedianscome in last week.
I have a friend of mine who's acomedian, professional comedian
and what we did is we said, hey, you know what?
Let's recognize the people thatwe're doing business with.
So we call it, we call theclosings in comedy, and then it
(36:36):
was a wild success and now wewant to do this every month
right, that's awesome.
Where the people that arehelping families with us, we can
go ahead and we can laughtogether, because I think that's
one of the best things that wecan do to connect.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I think that's such a good opportunity that anybody
listening, in any industrywhether you're working for
someone else or you're anemployee, or you're an employer,
or you're in theentrepreneurial space is finding
the overlapping, you know,between what your industry that
you're in is doing and somethingelse that you're passionate
about or that you find joyfuland playful, and bringing people
together to do that.
And what a great opportunityfor people to connect, for
(37:12):
people who are like-minded, tobe amongst and around each other
.
Right, whether again, like,whether you're speaking on a
stage in front of a thousandpeople or whether you're going
to a church and speaking to 15people, right, everybody, I'm
assuming, showing up it's a safeassumption is that they're
like-minded people that want tolearn something new, that want
to be around other people thatare also putting themselves in
this place to do somethingthat's uncomfortable and new for
(37:33):
them and sometimes, like yousaid in this comedy evening,
also could be fun.
So, you know, I challengepeople out there to think about
that.
Like, what could you do in yourown specific world, whether
it's personally orprofessionally, where you can
add and invite more people tojoin you, whether it's a hobby
and you're somewhere and you'relike I really want to do this,
but I don't have anybody.
(37:53):
Are you inviting them to do it?
Are you getting two or threepeople together and saying, well
, what can we do and who can weinvite amongst the two or three
of us, instead of trying to doit all alone?
And if it's professionally,where can you overlap with
another industry or justsomething that you wouldn't
think would be connected butit's still in alignment with
that, and invite people to joinyou on that journey?
(38:14):
And I think that's such a coolwrapping up point for our
conversation.
And, eric, I really do want tothank you.
I know we had a few a month ago.
We tried to connect and itdidn't work out and thankfully
it was able to happen today andI'm really, really appreciative
for the deep dive that we wentinto.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Jason, thank you very much for your time.
I enjoyed my time with you and,yeah, we talk to me guys.
I'd love to help you.
If you have any questions, withanything really say related or
business related, I would loveto have a conversation Awesome.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
All right, and if you got any benefit which I'm
assuming you did, because Ican't be the only one really
gleaning all these wonderfultidbits from our guests please,
please, please, just do us afavor, just right.
We, eric, gave you his, hisInstagram before in a stick talk
.
If you're on any of thoseplatforms, just just give him a
follow.
And if you want to reach out tohim that way, that's awesome
and, like you said, he's morethan happy to hear from you.
(39:06):
But also just go on any of thereview sites iTunes or Apple or
any of those things and just letus know that you're listening.
And if this episode or anyother episode was beneficial to
you or to someone you know wouldbenefit from it, just share it
out.
We don't have crazy sponsors oranything like that.
This is just something that I'ma passionate about, is a
project and outpouring of myprivate practice as a therapist
and entrepreneur coach, but justlet us know that you're
(39:27):
listening, tell us where you are, you know, get in touch with me
as well, and I alwaysappreciate that.
And again, eric will, will,will be in touch and we'll talk
soon.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Thanks for listening to the you winning life podcast.
If you are ready to minimizeyour personal and professional
struggles and maximize yourpotential, we would love it if
you subscribe so you don't missan episode.
You can follow us on Instagramand Facebook at Jason Wasser
LMFT.
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