Ep. 178- Rick Warner's Real Estate Journey Through Neuroscience, Recovery, and Mentorship

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Embarking on a personal journey can sometimes feel like navigating a labyrinth; every turn reveals new challenges and insights. That's why we invited Rick Warner, a titan in the real estate industry with a keen interest in neurology and self-improvement, to share his compelling narrative. From grappling with self-esteem issues in his youth to confronting and defeating addiction, Rick's story is a beacon for anyone seeking to transform their life. Together, we traverse the powerful influences of our formative years and the innovative ways therapy continues to evolve, shaping our emotional health and personal triumphs.

Have you ever wondered how your brain's wiring can affect your cravings or why certain emotional triggers can derail your best intentions? Our conversation with Rick unveils the mysteries of the triune brain theory, revealing how each component plays a crucial role in our cognitive responses. Through candid anecdotes   we uncover the complex interplay between our neurology and behaviors. Discover the strategies Rick employs, including mentorship and accountability groups, to master his impulses and steer his personal growth trajectory.

In this heartfelt exchange, we also recognize the transformative power of accountability, the need for effective support systems, and how mentorship can catalyze both personal and professional development. Rick reflects on his ascension in the world of real estate, surviving the 2008 crisis, and the subsequent rise from the ashes through self-improvement and the wisdom of shared experiences. By the episode's end, you'll be inspired by how Rick's journey of recovery and coaching informs his approach to life's ever-changing landscape - a testament to the enduring pursuit of personal excellence.

Show Rick some love by visiting his website: https://rickwarnerrealestate.com/
Rick's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therickwarner/
Rick's Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx1xbPgmUuAcPTIFzAMb0qg

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Jason Wasser Therapist/Coach
Online Tele-Therapy & Coaching 🖥
The Family Room Wellness Associates
Certified Neuro Emotional Technique Practitioner 
🎧Host:You Winning Life Podcast
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
All right, everybody, welcome back to another
incredibly deep diving, awesome,inspiring, purpose-driven
podcast.
Today, as you know, we'rehanging out with Rick and, as
you heard in the interview, notonly is he a real estate expert,
but he also has been takingdeep dives down into the world

(00:33):
of neurology and personaldevelopment, so I'm very much
looking forward to hanging outwith you today, rick.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Thank you, jason.
I'm super happy to be here and,as I was saying to you before
the show, your resume is sopacked.
I'm fascinated.
I want to learn more about you,so I'm excited about just the
conversation we're going to havetoday, right.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Absolutely, and it's funny the way that you started
that and we had permission toflip stuff back on each other
during this conversation.
This never was supposed tohappen.
This was never supposed to be aplatform for me.
Being a therapist was neversupposed to be a platform for me
.
Being a therapist was neversupposed to be a platform for me
.
Um, I had a 1.8 gpa in highschool I did too what you're the

(01:13):
same gpa.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
We should start a club we should.
I've never heard anybody elsesay that with so much pride, I
say, oh wow, hey, look at youknow, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
So I'll give you two other names that are in the club
with us.
Okay, ed, my let.
Oh, okay, who I'm sure you'refamiliar with I'm very, yeah, my
amazing amazing, amazingspeaker and inside person and
jesse itzler who's now remind me?
Playfully would be known as thehusband of sarah blakely of
Spanx, but he has his owncoaching community called Build

(01:45):
your Life Resume.
He owned Marquis Jets.
He wrote the book Living with aSeal, which is where David
Goggins first got introduced tothe world Part.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Owner of the.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Hawks.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
So he's one point to say, okay, well, we've got some
pretty good company there.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
We have some great company.
In fact, I'll recommend to youand to the listeners.
It's one of my favorite EdMilad episodes was where he was
interviewing Jesse about andthen they both also had this
realization about their GPAs.
So we're, we're in good, we'rein good esteem.
Oh man, I feel so much better.
It's a really incredible humanbeing.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Because you know the the schooling system, which is
great.
My mom was a retired, is aretired school teacher.
My stepdad, my sister's ateacher.
Like I have high value.
I was on the school board.
I have nothing but respect forthe school system.
They're doing the best they canwith what they can work with.
I did not fit in their system.
That's really, at the end ofthe day.
Um, that's what I've kind ofcome to, that conclusion and uh,

(02:43):
you know, but I'll be honest, Imean, you know, to kind of dive
into it, that definitelycreated a lot of shame for me
too, right and not fitting inand not knowing where I belong
and what's wrong with me.
A lot of those, a lot of thosekind of conversations I can
definitely track back and Istill, I'm still working on how
do I kind of undo some of thatthought process.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Do you remember those moments I mean, you and I are
not as kid-like as we used to bein some ways, at least in age,
chronologically, but personalitywe might be Do you remember
those first moments where youstarted seeing yourself as
different or other, where itkind of was like, huh, that
doesn't, that doesn't, yeah,yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
I remember early on just being like I have no idea
what's going on here.
I this is such a struggle forme to grasp just really basic
stuff reading I do.
I didn't want to have to doanything with book reports,
anything required concentrationor.
And then yeah, and then youknow my mom having been a school

(03:49):
teacher, it was so paramountfor her that I do well in school
she knew the value of education, all that stuff, and as a she
was a young person trying tojust be a parent.
She's got no idea what she'sdoing, and so her best way of
managing that was not thateffective is the nicest way to

(04:11):
say it, and I say it that waybecause I know she was totally
doing the best she could.
But it ended up with me feelinglike I'm not enough, basically.
And that was when you're youknow, I think when you're that
age and you're hearing thatstory, it starts to be very
believable.
There's nobody else, especiallywhen I mean I'm 54, so I was

(04:32):
born in 1969.
So this is the seventies andthe or in the early eighties,
where there wasn't counseling,there wasn't therapy, or it's
not that it wasn't there, but itwasn't it wasn't the therapy
and counseling of today.
Yeah, exactly, and so, um, yeah,it was.
Uh, in fact, I think ultimatelyit did lead to not that I'm

(04:54):
that I needed to become a drugaddict, drug addict and
alcoholic as a result of my momor not feeling enough or not,
but it certainly was.
When I finally did get in frontof alcohol and drugs, I'm like,
oh, this is such a relief, youknow, to just feel better, like
I just wanted to feel okay, youknow.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Yeah, well, I know that ties into and we might ping
pong off a few different things, not in order, but you and I
were talking a little bit aboutboth of our level of neurology,
especially as it relates toself-help, and one of the
modalities that I'm certified in, that I absolutely love, is
neuroemotional technique, and itactually came out, originally
started in your neck of thewoods on the West Coast, but in

(05:36):
Carlsbad, san Diego area, and DrWalker, who's a chiropractor,
who guys if you've already heardthis from me on previous
episodes, forgive- me, but ifyou haven't heard this, exactly,
it's just me and you, man.
So it started off as achiropractor who was trying to
figure out why do people have tokeep coming in over and over

(05:57):
again for adjustments?
Shouldn't the body know once Ifix it right With a small, you
know, vertebrae adjustment, itshould hold?
And he was finding that itwasn't.
And he realized, you know,after going to a workshop and
and hearing, you know theconnection of emotions and
someone was adjusting a clientwhile they were rethinking about
the car accident and he didthat and he's like oh, the

(06:18):
adjustment held, so he startedconnecting it to other.
What about other traumas?
What about other lifeexperiences?
And that's where he startedconnecting it to other.
What about other traumas, whatabout other life experiences?
And that's where he startedusing muscle testing and Chinese
medicine, meridian points andputting it all together.
So years later this was 30something years ago, and now
therapists do this and otherlicensed medical practitioners.
But one of the big componentsof that is neurology and we have

(06:40):
something called bogus pleasurerecognition, which is one of
the ways of applying this,something called bogus pleasure
recognition, which is one of theways of applying this.
And I find this fascinatingbecause anything that becomes a
compulsion that we think we needin order to temp down a trigger
or a trauma is why we havethese cravings and why you just

(07:00):
said oh, I feel better once thesubstance, it doesn't even have
to hit your nervous system asfar.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
Exactly.
I would feel better when I knewit was coming.
Even Right, I didn't have tohave it in me yet.
As long as I knew it was coming, I already started feeling
better.
That's right.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
So that in regards to the three parts of our
neurology, at least in our brainexcuse me, in the triune brain
theory, you have our neocortex,rational thinking.
I know I'm going to get it, Iknow it's there, I know it
exists, I had a positiveexperience with it before.
That's rational brain.
Your mammalian brain istimeless memories.
So if it was stored as apositive versus a negative,

(07:39):
which then goes into ourreptilian brain approach, avoid
survival yep, the, that's theamygdala amygdala and all that
right, the limbic system,responses and all those things.
Now you don't even need to havethat anywhere near you.
Just that thought as a positiveapproach of thought already
starts sending biochemicalresponses into your nervous

(08:00):
system as if it's already therein real life.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
And I would just so.
I'm curious, because whathappens with drugs and alcohol
is that it's kind of adiminishing return, In other
words, you don't get the samehit you got the first time you
did it, and each time it'sgetting less and less and less
effective.
But is that being overridden bythis?
What was the-?

(08:25):
Yeah, the neocortex yeah, yeah,where it's already.
Because your brain is locked inthat initial great feeling that
it keeps convincing you that,even though you can
intellectually see that it's notgiving you what it once did,
and eventually it almost givesyou nothing.
Neurological hijacking right.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
That's what we call neurological hijacking.
The cool thing is is right, oneof my favorite stories about
this to really, you know, drivethis home is my dad, years ago,
came back from a cruise with hiswife and big ass thing of
popcorn from the cruise shipthat you know he had a was
compelled to get and you knowlike where, where is that from?
He's like I don't know.
On the cruise I started cravingpopcorn Like it's random.
So I actually had him do theprotocol with me in front of me,

(09:03):
cause, like, when I hearsomeone say the word crave,
right, I know that there's thattrigger and obviously there's
more intense words, but cravingis a pretty strong one.
And, um, I had him like, just,you know, look at the pot, you
know, look at the tin, and Imuscle tested it.
That's the biological fight orflight, you know.
Response, that neurofeedbackresponse that we're looking for.
Nothing happened.
Okay, I want you to open it upnow and hold it close to you and

(09:27):
smell it and the muscle testgoes weak.
Right, remember, approach,avoid Okay With, okay With right
, congruent, non-congruent,what's bypassing the rational
brain.
Now, that shouldn't happen.
There should be no response toeverything.
We should be walking throughthe world as neutral as possible
.
When we don't, that's when wehave this biofeedback kick.

(09:47):
So it turns out like you knowthe emotion that we figured out
and the story we figured out waslike he got into a disagreement
with his wife and she startedyelling at him and then the
story you know the emotion wasanger and sensitive to her anger
, and and, and you know we gothrough the whole process.
No-transcript did wrong to havethat person be angry at me went

(10:34):
back to original event of.
We muscle tested it back to 10years old and the story was he
was walking and his mouth justdropped wide open yeah oh my god
, I was walking back from school, scranton, pennsylvania, 1950,
whatever before the officebefore the office, right before
the american office ever existedso and um, he was walking and

(10:59):
all of a sudden, this guy thathe was walking with just out of
the blue turned around and justpopped him right in the face.
Wow, and that was the memorythat can't.
I don't know why.
He was angry at me.
So we go through the clearingpart of it and reset the nervous
system around that.
Go back in present day muscletest.
Go back to when your wife wasupset at you on the cruise.
Yeah, right, okay, now let'ssmell the peanuts.

(11:19):
I'm bad.
The popcorn yeah yeah, andmuscle tests hold strong.
Okay, I want you to take it,put it in your mouth.
It was actually peanutsactually.
Thank you, okay, yeah, my bad,so covid brain as I as I, uh,
yeah, right, so, and he's like,oh, it tastes stale and like.
So the physiological response,the biochemical response,

(11:42):
started trans, transforming fromsomething that he was craving
to something that's no longerpleasing and appealing, but the
trigger around that made himdesire something to make his
blood sugar biochemistry beremoderated and, for whatever
reason, that became the thing.
Now, take that back to what youand I started talking about.

(12:03):
Drugs became the thing.
Now take that back to what youand I started talking about
drugs, alcohol, food, gambling,whatever you want.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Sex, yeah.
Shopping Correct.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Correct, really good.
Pour over coffee.
Whatever you want to put inthere, well, that's okay,
especially from your, especiallyfrom your coast.
So, yeah, so right.
Those are the things that ournervous system now even apply
this even more so to what we canget into money success.
Allergic to making money Right,Allergic to having a mindset

(12:38):
behind that.

Speaker 2 (12:39):
We say mindset right, but that's.
That's such a broad thing, butbut yeah.
So what you just described isfascinating, and I would love to
share a story that justhappened to me, and I know we're
getting a little ahead.
I don't know if this is theright time.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
But who cares?
Right, we're just having aconversation but but.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
So the background for me just the short version is uh
, five years ago I reallystarted to to see, after having
some success and what appearedto be pretty reasonable success,
I think for most people on theoutside, there was this kind of
plateau and I really starteddiving into all this personal
development stuff, and sothere's been a lot there.

(13:17):
I'm happy to talk about any ofit, but recently, recently,
what's really clear to me isthere's, if I hear something in
my ear ball, that is just words.
There's just words are comingin, but what I hear is what's
wrong with you, right?
So anything critical at all,anything that alludes to you

(13:40):
didn't do this, right, you'renot enough, you know anything
like that.
What I hear is what's wrongwith you and I immediately have
you know.
Then my amygdala kicks in.
I don't, I'm, I get defensive,I shut down, I'm quiet, I don't
feel like I'm safe, I become Ialmost become a different person
, right, I'm physically the sameperson, but emotionally I'm

(14:01):
just like I'm 10, 12, 8, maybe 5years old, I don't know
somewhere in there where my allof my thinking becomes
shockingly immature, right, andI don't feel like I have access
to that prefrontal cortex likewise, mature information that I
normally right that I could justput things in context, maybe,
or I could consider where it'scoming from or you know whatever

(14:24):
.
Like, I don't have access toany of that stuff and it's
really debilitating and it's andit's uh and it and it has an
impact right, it has an impacton my kids, it has an impact on
my girlfriend and my family andmy you know the people I work
with, whatever and um, and sorecently I did this thing, so
I've done a bunch of work withLandmark actually I don't know
if you're familiar Sure, really,really, I'm enjoying that.

(14:46):
And one of the things that wedid was we went back to kind of
what you were just describing.
We it was like what was thetime where you can?
You remember you all as farback as you can?
And when I was five years old,I was wearing some shoes that
were too big for me.
We were, we didn't.
I didn't come from money.
My parents were, you know, my.
My dad was a minister, my momwas a school teacher.

(15:09):
We didn't, we didn't have a lotof money.
So we had these hand-me-downshoes that I would.
They were so big boots, theywere so cool, but they were two
sizes too big.
And so I was told you're notdoor.
Babette Bullock, I remember hername.
If she's listening, I'd love tohave her reach out to me.
Anyway.
So Babette I had a crush on.

(15:29):
She was seven, you know, olderwoman.
And so I'm chasing Babettearound the church and because
the boots are too big, I ofcourse trip.
But I don't just trip, I tripand I fall face first into a
brick planter.
And I, I fall face first into abrick planter and I bust open
my head.
You can see there's still ascar there.
And then so Babette walks meback to the house it's just two

(15:50):
doors away.
And I open the door and mymom's there and of course I'm a
five-year-old.
I've got blood just streamingall over my face, all over my
clothes.
I cannot imagine how terrifiedmy mom was when she opened the
door right, but all I knew was Iwas bleeding.

(16:12):
I didn't know if I was about todie.
I didn't know what was going onfive years old and the sense.
I remember her saying don't getblood on the carpet Right.
And then the classic feelingwith that was what's wrong with
you.
Now, I'm sure my mom did notsay what's wrong with you, right
, I'm sure my mom was doingwhatever she was doing, but that

(16:32):
was a world that I felt like Ilived in.
And you know, here she is,she's got two twin babies and
like I can look at it as anadult now and go, my mom did
totally normal things, right,but for me as a five-year-old,
how it hit me and where I landedwas that place.
And so we went back to thattime in this, back to this group

(16:54):
.
So we went back to this timeand I had somebody say to me
exactly the way I was hearingwhat's wrong with you, over and
over and over again.
And at first it was.
At first I had to train them tosay it exactly the way I was
hearing it and then and then bethere with it as an adult, right
, and at first it was, you know,and I would say so, I'm like

(17:19):
hear what you're saying, I'mokay with what you're saying and
I'm totally available to hearanything else that you would
like to say about that.
And the first couple of times Isaid it I was saying kind of
monotone and like it was words Ididn't even mean and then all
of a sudden I started saying it.
I was crying right Just out ofthe I'm, like it was like I was
there, it was crazy, and I didthat a few more times and then I
it's almost like I became anadult, right there in front of

(17:39):
her.
There's like four people inthis little group, five people
maybe, and then I was able tosay it as an adult I'm, I hear,
I totally hear what you'resaying, I'm okay with what
you're saying and I'm totallyavailable to hear more, whatever
it is that you want to sayabout that.
And it had a dramatic impact onon this, this way that things

(17:59):
were were landing for me.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (18:01):
have you ever heard of something like that?
Is that kind?
Of similarly like you'reretraining the neuropaths or
something like that.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Absolutely Well remember.
When you're in that memory,your biochemistry is activated,
just like it was at that point,and I know you know in an
organization, the organizationis landmark.
But in those type of workshopswhere they're bringing in other
people to simulate familymembers right, you now have that
in.
I forgot.

(18:28):
The family constellation issomething that came out of the
marriage and family therapyfield and now it's become its
own thing and people are nowdoing coaching trainings on this
, which could or could not bedangerous because you're dealing
with lots of trauma potentially.
So those type of things.
But the beautiful thing aboutwhat you're talking about
Landmark started as the outcomeof Est back in the late 60s and

(18:50):
70s.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Warner and Hart right , exactly.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
So all of that stuff was like getting in there and a
lot of that stuff was alsoprobably happening around the
time of psychedelics firsthitting me and people going able
to go deeper and able toprocess and able to be in a
community and to share and bevulnerable and intimate but,
what you're doing for sure, fromthe neurological level, when
something represents something,our rational brain and you're

(19:15):
moving that aside because ofcourse your rational brain can
say you're not my mom, I knowyou're not my mom and I know
you're not my mom and I know I'mnot five years old.
But once you're able to figureout a way to move that aside and
you get into the mammalian andreptilian part of your brain,
the timeless memory and thatapproach, avoid, fight, flight,

(19:35):
flee, paradigm Freeze.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Exactly All of that stuff can then start to be
healed.
This is what's so interestingabout me as a licensed therapist
who's evolved in a way a littlebit past or a lot past the
stuff that I was given ingraduate school and why I never
went back for a doctorate in myfield.
More money to it's stuff that'solder and they may have some

(20:07):
new published stuff, but it'snot necessarily.
There's no course onneuroscience.
There's no course onpsychedelics.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
There's no course, on all of these things Fascinating
that that stuff doesn't exist.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
It does in certain programs and a lot of the time.
Many of them are out on theWest coast.
They're in Boulder, colorado,they're in California, they
might be, you know, in a fewdifferent places.
Some of the schools areaccredited, some of the schools
are not accredited.
Some of the schools you canactually get a state license.
You know, in multiple States,with some you can't, and you

(20:34):
might have a degree where youcan't do much with.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
So is it still like kind of woo woo?
They could look like woo wooscience to the mainstream, is
that?

Speaker 1 (20:44):
part of it, Maybe because you know this is kind of
like taking it back into, likeall of the wonderful things that
are happening in the realestate world, where you have all
the coaching that's now takingplace, something that you're
doing now as a professional tohelp other other realtors, where
you know at a certain point ithad to be woo woo.
What do you mean?
I need a coach?
What do you mean I needguidance on learning how to sail
, or mindset right or mindsetright, which is.

(21:05):
I play flea and I feel so badevery time and anybody who's
heard me reference this it'skind of like the Lululemon of
you put on a pair of yoga pantsfrom Lululemon.
Now you're a yogi.
You listen to one mindsetpodcast, right, but what does
that mean?
Mindset is like okay.
Mindset, I think, is thatoutcome of all of the new ways
that you're changing yourneurology, you're changing your

(21:26):
physiology.
The mindset is the outcome ofthat.
Can you reverse engineer it?
By just yourself, with positivepeople, by going to landmark,
by going to, you know, anypersonal development groups, by
working with a therapist,working with a really good coach

(21:47):
, working with someone like youin your world?
Is there still stuff underneaththe hood that needs to be dealt
with?
Absolutely, but that's why noneof these things are a one size
fits all and anybody who claimsto be I would run from yeah,
right, right, totally there'salso to right right, totally, uh

(22:07):
, there's also.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
to me, I there's a real value to action versus uh,
just like passively learning,like I can listen to all the
podcasts I want, but until I getin, I got actually doing like
doing what you did with your dadright and him being willing to
go in and explore.
That's action.
What at Atlanta?
That's action?
I feel like there's, so there's.
It's so common to listen to thegreat books and listen to the

(22:28):
great pot, which are all great,but if there's no action that
goes with it, nothing's reallychanging, right, you're?
you're aware that things canchange, and that's where I get
hung up on.
You know, coaching.
I want to coach to make adifference.
It means nothing to me.
If you listen, you go.
That sounds really great.
I don't care if it sounds great, I want you to do something

(22:49):
different.
How can I inspire you toactually take action and be
accountable?
How can I inspire you to takeaction and do something
different on a regular basis,not for a week or two weeks?

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, that kind of thing.
And I think this applies to bothyour field in the real estate
space separate from the coachingpart of your life where you
know, think about, like so manybrokerages out there.
They, they amass amount ofagents to keep their license
there and you know, if theperson does one sale a year,
great, they get a percentage offthat if they do Right and

(23:21):
obviously they want them to dobetter than usual.
But I can just think about,like you know, some of these
brokerage houses that just letanybody hang their license there
because, like, whatever I'llmake some money off of it
doesn't cost me much yeah, costalmost nothing to have them,
yeah correct versus those thatare so particular with.
Here's the trainings I want youto do.
Here's the episodes I want youto watch.
Here's the meetings that we'regoing to do every week.
Here's the trainings I want youto do.
Here's the episodes I want youto watch.

(23:42):
Here's the meetings that we'regoing to do every week.
Here's the like you're going to.
You know, like you said, youhave an uh, you have a call, a
coaching call, after ourconversation and making those
things mandatory and what'sgoing to be the you know it's.
It's kind of like we get thebusiness or we get the people in
our life, in our life that wekind of deserve and that's based
on the effort and output andexperiences and that we get

(24:05):
worked on for ourself.
So and I see the differencesbetween you know, just give an
example a Ryan Serhant who, inthe worst point of the pandemic,
the first year being inbusiness, in his own brokerage,
did a billion dollars worth ofsales versus some guy or woman
here in South Florida.
Who's who?
You know I S.
Who's on the park bench, thebus bench, since I was in
elementary school with the samepicture on the park bench since

(24:27):
I've been in elementary school.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Famously the same picture right.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Famously the same picture since 1989, right, who
may be making their quotas?
And maybe, but why aren't theyinternationally known making
their quotas?
And maybe, but why aren't theyinternationally known?
Why are they only still onthose three same bus benches in
the same locale?
And they haven't grown andopened up multiple offices.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
This is the thing it's like.
And, going back to the mindset,it's the difference between
knowing the right things to doand then doing the right things,
and so you can be coached andlearn.
I can tell you's.
Look, I can make it.
Look, I have a daily navigatorwhere I.
I'm not going to hold it, it'sold school, but I have a thing
that I do every single day.
I talk to 10 people every day.

(25:11):
I I meet with three peopleevery day.
I write to you know, like it'sa thing.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
It's a system.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
It's a system On Mondays I talk to current
clients.
On Tuesdays I talk to my VIPs.
On Wednesdays I talk to leads.
On Thursdays I talk to later inthe week, on Fridays.
I develop a new bit, like it'sa whole system.
The point is it's action that'sbeing taken that's going to
turn into something.
I could go to Landmark and justsit there and listen and it
would have no impact.

(25:37):
It would be like, wow, this isreally cool, but it really won't
change my life.
Or I could do the things thatthey're telling me to do.
I can hire you as a coach or atherapist or whatever Us talking
about it is going to have someimpact, but you saying, hey,
here's what I want you toconsider, here's the thing I
want you to.
Or here's the thing that we'regoing to do, here's an exercise
we're going to do.
Whatever it is that's going tohave the real impact.

(25:57):
Right, am I do?

Speaker 1 (25:59):
I have that right.
Yeah, and it's also us, youknow, holding people, us being
held accountable.
I'm in a weekly accountabilitygroup with a business program
called business finishing school, and one of the beautiful
things about that program wasthey you have the option to be
in an accountability group and,um, the one that I'm in now we
meet every week on zoom and wehave our and we even extended it

(26:21):
to doing every quarter doing afour hour zoom call and then,
even after we started doing that, with every quarter, doing a
four hour zoom accountabilitygroup in addition to the weekly.
We now just completed our thirdannual retreat in person.
Nice, we just did that on a, ona cruise, which was kind of cool
.
So how?

Speaker 2 (26:39):
many people are in the group.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
So now there's four of us kind of cool, so how many
people are in the group?
So now there's four of us, okay, yeah, and two are in Texas,
one's in Minnesota, so yeah, soit's great, so it doesn't have
to be huge and so.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
I just want it because I know that some of your
audience is, you know, 30 yearolds, four year olds, in some
kind of sales insurance,whatever.
And listen, having anaccountability group is, to me,
the number one thing that youshould have, because I'm the
kind of guy that is, I've gotall kinds of great ideas right,

(27:10):
especially in the morning.
Man, I am inspired, I'm going todo this, I'm going to do that,
it's going to be great.
And then what happens is my daystarts happening and I get
distracted.
Or something good happens and Igo oh, that was great, now I
don't have to do that thing Iwas going to do.
Or something bad happens and Igo that was bad, now I don't
want to do the thing I was goingto, you know, or I forget what
I was supposed.
So what I do is I literally,every single day, that list I

(27:32):
was telling you about, I check.
I actually make a list every day.
I check it off, I sign it likea contract and I send it out to
my accountability group everymorning before nine o'clock, and
if I don't send it by nine, Isend them a thing that says, hey
, I'm not sending it yet, or I'mgoing, I'm not going to do one
today.
I don't have to be heldaccountable every single day,

(27:52):
but but generally for me, mondaythrough Friday, I want to be
held accountable.
So I do all the things, I checkall the boxes and at the end,
um, I write three things I'mgrateful for.
I write a little mini journallike one or two lines.
You know I had a tough daytoday.
This thing came up, or I had awin today I closed this deal
that I didn't expect was goingto happen, or whatever it is,
and then I send it back out tothat same accountability group

(28:15):
by six o'clock I think rememberthat thing I said I was going to
do this morning.
Well, I did it, and anybody cando that.
You don't need me to do that.
I started doing that out ofnecessity.
I did that right.
I know the right things to do,but doing them is kind of hard,

(28:35):
and when I know that I've toldsomebody else to do it, that I'm
going to do it, I'm more likelyto get it done.
In fact, I run somewhere around98% efficiency.
It's rare that I don't completeall my tasks because, as I get
through that, I start goingshoot.
I said I was gonna do the thing.
Well, I told all those people Iwas gonna do it, so I'm going
to make sure I get this thingdone.
Yeah, versus, if I was the onlyone, I'd be like, well, you

(28:57):
know, I mean, I don't reallyhave to do it, I justify and I
make excuses or whatever, andstuff doesn't get done and I
probably run like around 70%yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Well, I think that's one of the going into the whole
mindset podcast socialinfluencer type of thing.
Andy Frisella, who is also oneof those big like my type of
guys, his podcast it used to becalled the MFCEO podcast, then
it went into a lot of politicsand a lot of other whatever
stuff.
So he lost.
Unfortunately he lost me as alistener, but he has the 75 hard

(29:30):
uh workout program, it's his sohe's the guy who came up with
that and it was brilliant,because every day, right, you
either do it or you don't do it.
This is not like a half-assedstart over, you know like well,
you kind of did a.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Thing.

Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, workouts at a day.
You have to drink your, yourwater.
You have to have your meal plan.
You have to have, but every dayyou need to take a progress,
pick and it has to be.
You have to click everything.
Obviously, there's an honorsystem.
I, you're cheating yourself,right, you're cheating yourself
if you don't do this a hundredpercent, but it's that every day

(30:03):
you need a progress pick ofyourself.
It doesn't matter where you'restarting and it's full, and it
doesn't matter if it's negative20 degrees out.
One of them has to.
I mean, obviously you have totake, you know, if you open up
your garage door and you workout and it's, you know, in your
garage and it's cold andwhatever, fine, but um, but I
think that's where theaccountability comes in.
And you hear stories of peoplehaving transformations that were

(30:26):
then nothing, not much goingfor them.
I mean, you know internallythey didn't realize what they
could have going for them.
That's right, exactly.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
That's right, and it's just for me.
I remember, I remember feelingactually they were written on my
report cards, going back to thebeginning of where we started,
at the 1.8 gpi that I don't know.
Did you ever have this on yourreport card and it mine?
Would say ricky has potentialbut doesn't seem to use it.
Did you get those?
Of course, right, it was likeyeah you know, like you know,

(30:54):
he's funny, he's a nice kid,he's.
It seems like he's plenty smart, but he's but where is it?

Speaker 1 (30:59):
but where is it what?
But where is it?
What's he doing?

Speaker 2 (31:01):
And so, but that was in my head was like I just don't
live up to my potential and itfeels so great to have where I
still.
In a lot of ways I know I'vegot a lot more potential, but I
don't feel like I'm mired in notliving up to my potential, like
I have a lot of satisfaction inkind of where my world is today

(31:22):
, who I am as a person, whereI'm at income-wise, making money
, blah, blah, blah.
There's a lot of satisfactionthat are closer to living up to
my potential, but largely basedon the action that I took, not
just the words that I heard comeinto my ears.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, and I think this is where mentorship is such
a powerful engagement, right?
So imagine, like us inelementary school.
You know I'm five foot two,which means I was not much
taller than at that age, right?

Speaker 2 (31:52):
Wait this is another thing.
Guess what, guess what.
I was in high school.
How tall I was Five foot seven.
Stop, I was four foot seven.
I weighed 70 pounds in highschool.
Wow, I wrestled in the 98 poundWest wrestling class, which is
the smallest one.
And I would weigh in with mybig month with my book bag in my

(32:15):
hand, back when we had book bag.
Yeah, so I get it.
I get being a knot.
I'm five, 10 now, so I actuallydid get taller but something
happened Wow.
Yeah, but I for my first twoyears of high school.
I was tiny, so I get it.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
So there's still hope for me.
Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yeah 45.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
I'm still waiting for that growth spurt.
So, yeah, but I but I see, likethe people that were the most
impactful for me were the peoplethat took that extra little
step in that extra littleinitiative of mentorship, and I
even see that when I talk topeople in.
That's why, even in sobriety,those who have chosen to go
through the 12 step, and it'sworked for them.
What's one of the big things ofreally working this?

(32:52):
It's not just working the steps, but having someone to be your
sponsor.

Speaker 2 (32:58):
Well, and even more importantly and this is how we
have our coaching group set upas well is then sponsoring
somebody.
So when you talk aboutmentorship, that the value of

(33:24):
being a sponsor or a mentor isvery high and it's regularly
missed because people think well, they think like, oh, I don't
really have anything to offer,or I don't really have time for
that, or who wants to bementored by me?
Well, I'll tell you what.
There are people that you havesomething.
Everybody listening right nowto this call.
Everybody has somebody thatwants what you have, and it

(33:47):
might be your job to go findthem and go hey, I noticed
you're.
Maybe it's somebody in youroffice.
It could be a kid, it could bebig brother like, or the.
What is that called A bigbrother?

Speaker 1 (33:55):
big sisters yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Or there's usually there's mentorship programs in
most communities.
That is so incredibly valuableto be that person for somebody
and and usually what I'm hearingmyself come out of what's
coming out of my mouth to likegive somebody advice or my
experience or whatever I'm alsolike man, I really need to

(34:19):
listen to that myself too, right, and there's a part of me
that's like oh, if I'm going totell somebody I'm going to do
this, that I want to make sureI'm living up to that standard,
that I'm doing the same thingsthat I'm asking somebody to do,
there's just man, you know.
So I'm really glad that youtouched on mentorship, because
it is it's so important to havesomebody that you look up to.

(34:40):
Like, if I was going to I'mgoing to be starting a podcast,
I might come to you, jason, golike, hey, I'm starting this
podcast.
I, you know, I'm not looking fora coach, but I need somebody
who can just just give me 10, 15minutes a week.
So you know, like, start here,do that whatever.
And you know, avoid thesepitfalls, whatever.
Like that's so valuable for me,but it will also.
If I were to do that, it wouldbe valuable for you.

(35:01):
You would be you'd, you'd belike interested, like hey, how's
it going, how did it go?

Speaker 1 (35:06):
Right, it helps me streamline my own process on
that side of the things I'm likeall right.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Well, here's what worked.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
Here's what doesn't work.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
I mean maybe I should finally stop doing that yes
Right.
Exactly yeah, yeah, yeah, or um,and then and also this goes
back to what we talked about offair.
But you know this idea ofcollaboration, right, there's.
I mean, when you're in a salesjob, again, I think a lot of
your audience are in that kindof role where you feel like
you're kind of on your own right, You're on an Island, you eat

(35:33):
what you hunt and all of thosestories, and you know creating
communities within yourenvironment.
This is where theaccountability group comes in.
This is where I mean we talkabout our accountability group
is made up of three people.
It's it's a mentor, and itcould be multiple mentors.
Right, it could be your manager,it could be an actual mentor,
somebody in your office who'skicking butt, it could be

(35:54):
somebody at your church or any.
It's like a million people thatit could be.
But then peers people they'reon the same front lines that you
are on, that are, they'refacing the same challenges every
day, but you can share ideasand support each other and all
that.
And then, definitely, thepeople that are mentees, that
you're actually ahead of wherethey are.
They want to be where you areand bring it.
That's what the accountabilityis made up of.

(36:14):
But there's your collaboration,there's your community, and all
of that can create thatconsistency that's required to
actually be something else anddo something else and have the
things that you've always wantedto have.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
And if anybody doesn't know how to get an
accountability group together,just send me a message on
Instagram and I'd be happy togive you a worksheet that was
put together on how to structureone and how to organize one
Right.
So it doesn't have to be.
You know, we can demystify itreally quickly, versus listening
to Rick and I talk about thisand like, okay, that's great,
but how do I do that?
And then what?

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Yes, what are the first steps?
What's?

Speaker 1 (36:51):
that first steps and what would that look like in
timeframe?
All that stuff is part of thisworksheet.
One of the things I would alsochallenge everybody to think
about you know, jump more in onthis is who do you pick to be in
this accountability group or topartner with.
This goes back to right, if youknow working with you know
agents and like deciding who tohire as part of you know if
you're if you're an agent brokerversus right I'm assuming

(37:12):
that's the same title across thecountry that you're the person
who helps hold people's licenseunder you.
Right, where you know, how doyou choose who to bring onto
your team and how do you notchoose to bring onto your team
Right, it's the same thing whenrelationships and friendships
and anything like that, and evenmore like an accountability
group where you look ateverything through a lens of
core values, because you knowpeople talk a big game but you

(37:33):
want people who align with thatand are mission critical and, um
, you know what.
You may have different goals,but your values overall overlap
and it may be even differentcore values, but those core
values are synonyms to eachother.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
They're not antonyms to each other Right, and there's
a Venn diagram maybe wherethere's some overlap or whatever
.
Yeah, I think that the otherthing to consider in that is you
basically you've heard this Idon't know who said it first, I
hear it regularly but this ideathat you are a some of the five
people you spend the most timewith Right, and so like I'm

(38:08):
really and that's um, I want tomake sure that I'm hanging out.
It's just like if you want toplay tennis, you want to play
tennis with people that arebetter than you, not worse.
You can help the people thatare that need you know.
Like you want to be that personfor somebody else, but you
don't want to spend your wholetime being the best guy in the
tennis court.
I guess is what I'm sayingRight, you want to spend your
time also being the guy thatneeds to be better, that is

(38:31):
working towards it Right, and sothat's a.
It's definitely a big part ofit as well.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Well, think about that.
I love your tennis metaphorbecause you know who did.
You had nadal and federer, whoyou know, especially around the
time federer retired and you hadnadal come out.
I mean, one of my favoritesports pictures ever was the two
of them sitting on the bench,crying hysterically, holding
hands yeah, because the two ohgod what an amazing joke of it's

(38:56):
too.
I mean at one point, which isnow in there, yeah, yeah but I
think there was something thatyou know jokovic came a little
bit later in that era.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
It was the last one right in that era, but like
better first and then better andat all but like, nadal like,
but they really kept each othersharp.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
Now jokovic obviously added to that yeah but but the
kinship, through thiscompetition of iron shipens,
iron totally yeah, exactly rightloving that, um, but that image
of you know, we didn't see thatas much in the 80s and 90s in
our worlds, and I think this iswhere we, as men especially,
have evolved with vulnerabilityand connection and intimacy in

(39:33):
that regards, and especially inthe entrepreneurship business.
Why my podcast became a thingwas, you know, I'm sitting in a
therapy room 30, 40 hours a weekand I'm trying to take these
wonderful ideas that I wasstarting to learn, that I know
other people were alsointerested in, and but also
getting in front of the peoplewho are one living it to people

(39:55):
who are teaching it, but three,maybe even some of the people
who even created some of thoseideas and like well, and then
then we reverse engineer theprocess.
But I'm seeing now, right inthe business world.
I'm seeing it now even inpsychology.
One of the conversations I hadlocally was why aren't we
talking about these things wherewe as licensed mental health

(40:19):
practitioners, like licensedmedical professionals, right?
Why aren't we talking aboutwhere coaches have actually done
a better job at marketing thanus and use well?
We don't talk about the past.
Therefore, we're not therapists, as I think like no, no, no, no
, that's just calledsolution-focused therapy.
But they did such a good job ofremarketing and rebranding

(40:42):
themselves that they're makingtherapy seem and look obsolete,
which it obviously isn't,because we're still doing old
marketing, we're still doingright.
We also have laws.
I'm like how can you market?
What can you say, can we use?
You can't just say client, youknow, rick Warner said this was
the best therapy session ever,cause I can't bring
confidentiality right, coachesdon't necessarily have that.

(41:07):
yeah, yeah, you know you can'thave review sites, I guess,
right, right, so maybe you knowwhy.
Anyway, yeah, right, we canhave there's ways of you know,
but it's.
But I think that, like your thespace, you're in real estate
space and I would love to talkabout this, right, because you
have the one thing which cameout of, which came out of real
estate, that was a big coachingprogram, right, and you know, in
one of the world's um, and youhave all these other new people
in the real estate space, of allof, I think, like chiropractic,

(41:30):
because you have all the peoplewho now are doing functional
medicine and integrativemedicine, and a lot of them are,
like you know, have becomethought leaders.
Dr joe dispenza is one of thosepeople, right, who is a
chiropractor, who became one ofthe new tony robbins, and then
you have all these people in thereal estate world yeah that
have just become right mindsetthought leaders.
Here's how to change your life.

(41:50):
It's not just about you, know.
Let me show you the squarefootage and here's a great
school system and all that stuff.
Yeah, what has been yourpersonal journey with that for
yourself?
Going from right Cause you knowwe talked about you went from
point A to point B, which wasstruggling in school addiction
to having a stable life and havean incredible career and

(42:13):
kicking some, you know, kickingit really well on the West coast
.
What made you see that I need togo from B to C?
Yeah, yeah.
And where has that processinvolved?
This, the thought leadershipside, and where you're now
taking this and applying it toone working with other people,
but two where that journey hasbeen for yourself.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah Well, so to me, hopefully, there's constantly an
evolution, but I will tell youthat there's.
First of all, I think mostpeople just end up in real
estate.
So I ended up in real estate in2004.
So I'm just coming up on 20years in the business.
And in 2005, I sold a fairamount of houses and in West
Coast you don't have to sell aton to make a pretty good living

(42:59):
.
2006, I did well again and Ithought, oh my gosh, I've
arrived.
I'm like 34, 35 years old andI've got three little kids.
I got a stay at home wife, blahblah.
We buy a million dollar house.
2006.
I'm rocking and rolling andthen 2008 happens, september of

(43:20):
2008.
And if you're for thoselistening, they don't know about
what happened.
It was bad, it was like justshort of Carnage.
Yeah, it was carnage.
The stock market got completelycrushed and the real estate
market followed right after and,in a side of five months,
everything went down 35% and itstayed down for 35%.

(43:42):
That was its own problem, butthe volume of sales was was no
good anymore.
Everything we dealt with wasdistressed, you know, short
sales and foreclosures.
Everything took a long time.
It was a mess.
It was a total mess and I waswholly ill prepared for this and
, in reality, what I so.
So September of 2009, my 40thbirthday.

(44:03):
Actually, I couldn't even paymy mortgage on my million dollar
house with my stay at home wifeand my 40th birthday.
Actually, I couldn't even paymy mortgage on my million dollar
house with my stay at home wifeand my three little kids, right
, two of which were in diapers,I think, at the time.
And and I had this real momentof like, oh my God, I am totally
screwed and I and I think I'mtelling the story because
there's people like that rightnow, listening to this and their

(44:24):
industry, where the the thingshave changed in the last couple
of years, where, like, ifthere's any mortgage people
listening, there are peoplefacing that right now, where
they're like my business is goneLike I'm not making any money,
I don't know what to do, right.
And so what I had to do isreally take a good honest look
at myself and go oh, I wasn'tgreat at this business.

(44:45):
The market was great, thebusiness itself was great, and
it carried me along like a river.
And now I need to actuallylearn how to be great in this
business.
And so I paid $800.
I mean, I was in big.
I was.
I had like a hundred thousanddollars in tax debt.
I had 50,000 in credit carddebt.

(45:07):
My line of credit had beentaken away.
I was in big, deep doo-doo andreally I thought do I need to
get a real job?
And then it was like, well,there is no real job that can
get me out of this.
So I really needed to be betterat what I'm doing.
The problem is I had no money.
I was like, okay, somebodyneeds to teach me something, but

(45:27):
I didn't know who that was orwhat that was.
I found this class.
It was 800 bucks.
It was eight Mondays.
I did drive an hour and a halfevery Monday to get there.
An hour and a half back.
It was eight hours a day.
They asked us to do a bunch ofstuff that I was like, oh man,

(45:53):
this is so hard, I don't wantthis is really uncomfortable, I
don't want to do all this stuff,but I was so desperate that I
really was willing to do it, andthat was the beginning of me
changing to actually knowingwhat I'm doing.
And you know, not long afterthat, I paid off all my debt and
not long after that, I was thenumber one guy in our 170 person
office and and I was makingreally good money in a market
that not everybody was makingreally good money.
And so the reason I tell youall of that is that if you're

(46:15):
stuck, it may be that it's timefor you to step up and find out
who it is that's doing things,that you know that, that it's
working, and then do thosethings Like it's no more
complicated than that.
It does require gettinguncomfortable, but the reason I
say all that was it was such alife changer for me and, just

(46:35):
like my experience in the 12step program was like wait, so
now, if I really want to keepthis, I need to give it away.
And so I started trainingpeople and helping other people
and mentoring people so thatthey could have that same
possible feeling of, hey,anybody can do this, like I'm
not extraordinary, I'm a 1.8 GPAGPA guy, right.
And so that's that's where mypassion from helping others came

(46:57):
from.
Was like knowing that deep,desperate, like Holy shit, I'm
in big trouble.
Here I am, there was nobody Icould borrow money from, there
was nowhere to turn.
I, you know, I was about tolose this million dollar house
and we didn't.
You know, I had one 30 day late.
After that I was able to hangin there and you know, later we

(47:18):
sold it when we wanted to for alarge profit and blah, blah,
blah.
So it was definitely a happyending story, but at the time it
was like this is terrible andit's like, no, that was actually
the best thing that everhappened to me, because I really
got to get in there and it wasvery reminiscent of when I, you
know, when I got sober, when Iwas 20 years old.
It was like, oh my God, I amtotally screwed here.

(47:40):
And it was from that pain thatI met all these people that
helped me to learn and grow and,you know, create a spiritual
way of living and all that stuff.
But I couldn't have done thatwithout having that desperate
bottom of where I was like, oh,I'm in big trouble.
You know so and, funny enough,almost exactly 20 years apart,

(48:00):
when those from those two eventswhere I had these two real
bottoms in my life that were,you know, they were game
changers.
So if you're listening andyou're at that point in your
life where it's like, oh, I'm inbig trouble, this might be the
greatest thing that's everhappened.
This is an opportunity.
You're not in big trouble.
Take that fear and that angerand all the things and point it

(48:21):
towards something great.
You know spend, you know hireJason, call somebody whatever,
and and see what's on the otherside of this Cause.
It could be really, reallygreat.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Yeah, now looking, if you're 20 years out from that
last experience.
Yeah, right how have youprepared differently?
Cause right, you're in that 20year window right now.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Right, I mean I'm getting into that.
Yeah, so probably I'm in the 15years from that point.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Yeah, so what?
What would you findstrategically is most different?
Is it the fact that you're nowinvested in this mindset?
Is it that you're doing theseaccountability groups and
coaching and getting coached andis that the?
Biggest things and do you findlike there's still more stuff
that you're like, okay, thiswould yeah?

Speaker 2 (49:03):
I mean you know.
So it's funny that you, I findthere's more stuff.
The place where I want to liveis I've come a long way and that
I have a long way to go.
I want to be, I want to beright there in that mindset of
like.
I want to acknowledge andappreciate and be willing to
give away the fact that I'm notwho I was five years ago, 10
years ago, 20 years ago, and Ihave something to offer, right,
and I'm totally crystal clearthat I've arrived nowhere, that

(49:26):
I still, you know, I have stillso much work to do and what's
been going on for me for thelast five years is really more
on the personal development siderather than on the business
side.
The business side, like that'sgoing right, it's working, I
have a system and things are inplace and I get to help other
people.
But the personal developmentside has been a totally brand
new thing for me and I really,without realizing it, I kind of

(49:50):
just got stale.
I'd been sober, maybe 28, 29years, kind of cruising along
and fine, nothing majorly wrong.
It wasn't like I hit anemotional bottom or whatever.
But somebody gave me a book,the Four Agreements, which is
from the 90s.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
Everybody should have that in there.
I mean it or whatever, butsomebody gave me a book uh, the
four agreements which is fromthe 90s.
Everybody should have that inthere.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
I mean it was so great yeah yeah, I'm happy to
hear you say that.
I mean it was for me.
It just opened my eyes to like,oh my gosh, there's a whole
nother world in there where Idon't have to take things
personally and I can stop makingassumptions and I could just do
the best I can every day and Ican be impeccable with my word
and and and and what that mightlead to.

(50:30):
And so it was from that that itwas like I, we started a
personal development, wrote alittle book club and I mean it's
just been.
You know I started going tolandmark and you know I have a
men's group that's led by atherapist like you, that you
know that we meet every otherweek and like just all this
stuff.
You know I get to explore likesurvival roles and how I'm

(50:51):
reacting to things and and, uh,you know, start paying attention
to neuroscience and you know myprefrontal cortex and you know
my amygdala and how these thingsare interacting with each other
on neuroscience, blah, blah,blah, blah, and and so I.
What's funny about all this isthat I've spent like whatever
five years doing that andsometimes I'm like I've learned

(51:13):
nothing.
I've I've you know what I meanLike I'm still scratching the
surface.
I'm still like, well, onlybecause I, you know, I'll
experience something, and thisis what I want to ask you about.
So, so I've done all that, I'vedone the work, and think, blah,
blah, blah, and I'm like, okay,like, for example, with my
girlfriend and I, I know that Ihave a that if she, she says

(51:34):
even anything remotely soundinglike I've done something wrong,
that I hear as very critical,and what she's usually asking
for is for me to be tender andkind to her in that moment,
right, and I and Iintellectually like, if it's you
and me, I'll sit in here like,okay, got it.
There'll be a time for me totalk about whether, however, I'm

(51:55):
feeling, but in this moment Ineed to be your man, I need to
take care of you.
You know, we use the analogy of, she said.
She would say, I feel like Icome to you with a skinned knee
and you start telling me why Ishouldn't have been playing with
those kids and it's my faultthat I skinned my knee, rather
than just going, oh, your kneeis hurt, what, um, how can I
help you?
Right, Be tender and kind.
And I'm like, okay, got it.

(52:28):
So then I intellectuallyunderstand it.

Speaker 1 (52:29):
And then, here she comes with her scraped knee
again and I'm like basically,like well, I, your don't bleed
on the carpet in a way that youyeah, exactly, that's right.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
you're now right moving that forward yes, the
next generation say that, sinceI did that work.
I was just telling you aboutthe degree of which I do.
That is, you know, 80 less um.
However, it's still there andI'm like, oh, I just well, what
if it is always?

Speaker 1 (52:45):
what if it is always going to be there at some level?
Because I think that's thedefault network, right?
We, we have all this stuffstored there.
I I think part of it is onebeing neutral.
So we can we can still alwaysdecide to act that way, but it
has to be that choice versusonly being compelled to act that
way.
But it has to be that choiceversus only being compelled to

(53:07):
act that way.
And I think the more work you'redoing, you're opening up
possibilities, because I don'tknow if, at any given point,
every single thing will beneutral, because, like you're
saying, you're dealing withnumbness.
You're dealing with the far endof neutrality is being numb,
where you know it's supposed tobother you and you're just, uh,

(53:31):
you know, not right.
But then you have this thing oflike okay, well, I want to
completely experience this thingfrom a different lens.
That takes that continued work.
So the more work you're doing,the more layers of the onion
you're peeling away, the lessit's going to have that trigger
and the new neural paths too.
Is that, yeah, the more layersof the onion you're peeling away
, the less it's going to havethat trigger, and the new
neuropaths too, is that.
Yeah, all the changing theneuropathways and you know

(53:51):
that's the whole thing coolabout like you know, everybody
getting into psychedelics andmushrooms from the research is
that it actually changes yourneuropathways and gets back to
anything before traumas andtriggers stuff like that.
So you know there may be somelayer that will always be there.
One of my favorite quotes fromEsther Hicks from the Law of
Attraction World is you'll neverget it all done, and you'll

(54:14):
never get it all right.
So if that's part of at leastreleasing yourself from the
resistance around having to beperfect every single time,
especially to loved ones andpartners versus recompensating
and recalibrating.
Be like hey, do you know what,Let me try that again.
Or hey, you're right, here'swhat I'm going to say, here's

(54:35):
what I should have said then,but I'm going to say it to you
now.
And just recalibrating yourselfI think it's that X axis, Y
axis.
Can you do it more often andcan you recalibrate more quickly
?

Speaker 2 (54:50):
quicker and with less frequency, and yeah, frequency
and duration right.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
So I think if that's part there and maybe right, it's
always going to be there.
But I think that's why the workalways needs to be done.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
The work is never done right because it's a
practice right.
I mean that's.
I mean I definitely live inthat state of not arriving right
.
But we, we also have thismetaphor of like it's.
It's like kind of climbing amountain and, uh, gravity's
still there it's a summitlessmountain, right, but on that
mountain sometimes the climbsare hard, sometimes you don't

(55:23):
even know.
You know where to put yourhands and sometimes you're.
You know you're just walking upa path, you know where you're
going, but it's just kind ofhard work and there's trees.
But every now and then you findthis place where there's like a
vista right.
And it's it's a totally new viewthan you've ever seen before,
and it's like, yeah, you cantake a minute and enjoy that,

(55:43):
that kind of that new place,sure.
And then you know it's time to.
It's like, okay, that wasawesome, now let's, let's stay
on the path here, right, let'sstay on the path so that we can
get to that next, that nextVista.

Speaker 1 (55:55):
And I think that's a good metaphor, for you know, as
you go through all theYellowstone series, series,
series, series of the originalprecursors, of like, when they
started moving from, you know,the south and the east and came
across, you know, and I can'ttalk to you about that, because
I don't, I don't or any any ofthe frontier days right of a
settler right coming across thecountry and yeah, you know the

(56:17):
oregon trail of a video gamefrom the 80s, right, and some
people are like, oh, this is areally nice vista view and this
is beautiful.
Look at these mountains and it'sgorgeous and it's very fertile
here and like I think we'regoing to stay here.
And then they have to gothrough their first winter and
they're like, okay, that waspretty bad.
And they go through the secondwinter and they're like, oh F me
, like we can't grow stuff hereor whatever it might be.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
Or we thought it was fertile, but now we're.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
So some people chose to stick that out and some
people continued moving on andsome people died and some people
didn't.
I mean, they all diedeventually.
But I think that's kind ofwhere you have to figure out
where is that comfortable placethat you want to stick it out
and go through a few seasons ofthis and where do you want to
like?
Okay, I really appreciate this.
I really enjoy this.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
Cool.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
And saying enjoy too is like that is the other part
of it is appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Yeah, enjoying the hike right, enjoying what that
means.
Like I'm a runner, I became arunner also in the last five
years and that was never, evergoing to happen.
I have no idea how that.
I definitely was, and I used tomake fun of runners regularly.
What is wrong with you?
There's, you could take a bike,you could ride.
You could get a ride.
There's, you could take a bike,you could ride.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
You can get a ride.
I will give you a ride, you canswim.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
You could swim Like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (57:31):
Oh, that's how you become a triathlete.
What's wrong with you?
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Yeah and uh, and then I, I became a runner.
But I became a runner, um, notinitially to run a marathon.
I became a runner to kind ofwell.
First it was to experience thatyou know, hey, maybe I could be
a little bit, maybe I could goa little bit faster, maybe I
could go a little bit farther.
But then the experience ofrunning it actually changed how

(57:58):
I felt so dramatically, not justwhen I was running, but like
like kind of who I was that Ireally became.
I really enjoy running, eventhough I don't enjoy it when I'm
doing it all the time.
Sure.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
Yeah, that absolutely makes sense, yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
But I'm not.
I don't have to grind, I'm likeoh, you know, I'm not like
nobody's making me run.
Now, as a result of all that,I've run several half marathons.
I've run three full marathons.
I ran New York, chicago, sanFrancisco all these things as an
over 50 year old man.
In fact, I ran San Franciscolast year and broke the four
hour mark, and next I'm tryingto qualify for Boston.

(58:36):
But all these things happen notbecause I set the goal of being
a marathon runner, but becauseI embrace the idea of being a
runner.
Does that make sense?

Speaker 1 (58:47):
Right.
First of all, I want to stopfor a second and acknowledge how
ridiculously awesome that is.
Because, right and I know it'ssomething you're like.
Yeah, I'm used to it.
Now I'm already doing thesethings, but if you think 20, go
back to the 20 year ago.
You.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:02):
Go back to the non-sober you.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
What would that guy say?
If you right, if you're like,yeah, you're going to run half
marathons and you're going to dothese three main, you're going
to you know full marathons andyou're going to drop a four hour
, you know window, and whatwould that version of you have
said?

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Well, it's funny, because that version of me was
so cocky and so sure of myselfthat I might've been like, yeah,
of course I'm going to do that.
But what I would say is, youknow, the?
I think it's better to go, say,to the 20, cause I was 20 when
I got to.
So maybe the 25, 30 year oldversion of me, or actually even
the 45 year old version of me Imean, I started running, uh,

(59:42):
just a couple months before my50th birthday actually.
So you could go back just a fewyears and say what do you think
?
But seriously, going back tothe 20-year-old version, I would
say the life that I have beenable to have as a result of the
people that have come into mylife and the choices that I've

(01:00:02):
made to who to engage with andwho to spend time with and who
to trust and who to take riskswith and do the things that
didn't seem to make sense.
But okay, I'm going to take theaction and the insight will
follow the action.
There's no way I could havepossibly imagined you know, I we
haven't talked about this, butI was living in a tool shed when
I was 20 years old.
That's the bet my like my bestefforts at life had me living in

(01:00:31):
a tool shed and, uh, and my, myentire time was how am I going
to get high today?
And that included stealingmoney, and that included lying
to people, and that included,you know, um, I had a.
I had a one-year-old baby thatI had no interest in being a dad
to, and like, like, that'swho's who I really was, that was
my day-to-day existence.
And so you take that guy andyou say, hey, here's you at 54.

(01:00:53):
Uh, I don't think anybody elsewould have seen it, right?
No, there's nobody else.
That would have been like yeah,that's what I said.

Speaker 1 (01:00:59):
Are you on drugs right now?

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
You're here.
You're on drugs.
Yeah, I am.
You know, I lived in that toolshed 10 months sober before I
got up to live in somebody'sroom and that first year of
being clean was literally thegreatest year of my life.
Greatest year of my lifeBecause all of a sudden there
was such a dramatic change goingon and how I saw the world and
what was possible.
For me it was like it was crazy.

(01:01:24):
I mean, it was a roller coaster, I was always broke.
There was like it was crazy.
I mean, it was a roller coaster, I was always broke, I you know
there was nothing good on theoutside going on no stability
Right, right, but on the inside.
All of a sudden, I was beingfilled up with dude, you're
going to be okay, this is goingto be great and you just keep
doing this and your life's goingto be great, and that's been my
experience, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:01:44):
Yeah, so much more to do that, that.
So I guess maybe wrapping it up, and you know, I want you to
talk a little bit about you know, your coaching program and what
you're doing and how you'rehelping some other people and
then how people can find you anduh, um, I always want to always
ask, like if you're a runnerlike anybody who has this like
unique little niches.

(01:02:05):
It's kind of like right, what'sthe tools and gears and sneakers
, and like you know right, andthen you know, just throw those
out for for people, because I Igot into my koros watch, I got
rid of you know, I switched overand uh, moved into the koros
structure instead of garmin forso and only running hokas.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
I'm probably not the right guy to talk to about any
of that stuff.
I'm not, I don't really I.
I remember I use Nike shoes.
I know a lot of people don'tlike those.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
I can't, I can't run on them here.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Yeah, I well, it's funny Cause I had, I had Hocus
to start with and my knees.
I called my PT person and I gohey, I need to see you, my knees
or whatever she goes, are youwhat kind of shoes you wearing?
She's, I said Hoka.
She goes, get rid of the Hoka's.
That's the only problem andthat's what happened for me.
I put Nike's on.
I've never looked back.
My knees got awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
So, but I don't want to say it because I know people
love it.
I have no idea why she said onething Is there one thing you
swear by that helps get youthrough training and get you
through?
Is there a nutrition thing?
Is there a?
Is there a song?

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Is there something that just so that I would say
that if you really want to be arunner, always have a race that
you've got coming up right.
Like I just yesterday signed upfor the san diego half marathon
, I'm coming off of a when isthat?
Knee injury what?

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
when's the san diego?

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
uh march 24th oh, so it's really soon okay yeah, yeah
, um, yeah, I'm coming off aknee injury.
That last marathon took it outof me.
Go run it up and down thegolden gate bridge and back and
forth and whatever.
So I'm, I'm because my my goalis to do um.
To qualify for boston, I haveto do 335 um to at my age you

(01:03:39):
will, you will do 335.
Yeah, you don't have to yeah,yeah, yeah, so, but, but, but my
big thing would be always havesomething you're training for,
not because the goal itself, butjust no, like that.
To me, that's what bridges thegap.
Like, I always have a race thatI'm getting ready for, whether
it's a 5k or 10k, or I mean, Igenerally don't get ready for

(01:04:00):
5ks and 10ks because now I run a10.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
It's part of your.
Yeah, it's part of your.
10k is just all the time.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
Yeah, but so that's what I would say about that.
My coaching, you know.
I mean, if somebody's in realestate I'm not on the podcast to
necessarily pitch any coaching,but I do have, if you like,
that accountability thing I wastalking about on my website.
You can go there and you canprint out for free a download of

(01:04:27):
our what we call our dailynavigator, where you create the
things that you, the daily tasksthat you want, um and uh, and
then you create youraccountability group.
I have a little free um, umit's actually being uploaded
this week, so it's not therethis week, but by the time this
airs it'll probably be up uh,which is a free little recorded
thing that you can watch on howto create your accountability

(01:04:49):
group and what things should beon your thing, and so that's
flowcademycom F-L-O-C-A-D-E-M-Y,like the Academy of Living and
Flow.
Flowcademy is what that is.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
And not Flow from 227 , different flow.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
No, no.
And then you can follow me onInstagram the Rick Warner.
I'm on Instagram and I I postweird shit there, but nothing I
mean I post, I don't know I post.
There's nothing I don't know.
I don't even know why peoplewould go there, to be honest.
But they can follow me there ifthey want to.
Awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
Awesome, rick.
I know there is so much more wecan definitely get into and
even go further down the rabbithole of neurology and especially
as it plays out in the world ofsales and marketing and
branding and stuff like that,and I definitely would like to
invite you back into all thatbecause I know that we're at the
tough place and I think you hitit on the head where you're

(01:05:44):
talking about the momentum of,oh, my business was doing well
because the market was then andI had to recalibrate everything.
Right, you know.
You know, in 08 I think we'reseeing the same thing now, post
pandemic, yeah and right, we sawthere were certain businesses
like peloton or all thesebusinesses that were, you know,
zoom right the zoom stock right,whatever it is, and I'm still.

(01:06:04):
I'm still 94% telehealth andended up getting licensed in
multiple states over thepandemic, which is great, and
the only people I see in personis for that neuroemotional
technique modality out of mycondo rec room as a high paid,
not cheap, therapist.
I'm like I'm not going back intoan office, but I see a lot of

(01:06:26):
people a lot of therapists werewere complaining like hey, is
anybody else not getting peoplecalling them Like I've been
seeing that over the last numberof months and whether you know,
even though they might be usingpsychology today or some of
these other, you know websitesand stuff like that that their
marketing is into, like, well,what's making you stand out and
be the person?

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
Yeah, and so it's very apropos.
That's the thing like and youtalk about.
I mean it's like as a businesscoach, I mean cause there, at
some day I will be a businesscoach, because there's just
there's so many things thatcross over that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:55):
I don't have to be it's cross pollination for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:06:58):
Exactly, and and so uh, but so many.
This is, this is the.
This is the crux of the thing,right?
Everybody gets in the businessto do the business they're in,
to be a therapist, be ahaircutting person, whatever it
is, and there's, but there'sstill two parts to it.
There's the doing the businesspart, being a therapist.
You can be a great therapist,but if you don't have any, you
don't have any clients.
Who cares?

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
right.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
So then there's the same attorneys, doctors not so
much, but you know these.
Everybody needs to have that,some version of lead generation.
They need to create businessand they want to think that if
they are just so great that thatwill happen, well, maybe, but
that there's a way to accelerateyour greatness and turn it into
something where people you knowthe business is coming your way

(01:07:41):
Right, because we don't need toknow you exist, we're not an
advocate of spending money onadvertising, because we don't
need to know you exist.
We're not an advocate of ofspending money on advertising.
I mean, I'm not saying youshouldn't do it, but I mean
there's a way to be relationaland create this kind of ongoing
source of business coming yourway, and I think that a lot of
that stuff cross-pollinates, youknow.

Speaker 1 (01:07:59):
So yeah, and people talk trap like like bni, what an
amazing organization, right,and and stuff like that.
And it's in there.
I mean, but even if you're notin a bni networking group, read
dr ivan meisner's books on.
I mean, the guy is a guru.
Yeah, I remember going once toa bni like breakfast meeting my
buddy invited me to, and I'vemet ivan meisner.
He's friends with rick, who'smy business coach, um, so I've
had multiple conversations withivan.

(01:08:19):
I remember talking to people atbni.
I'm like, have you guys readany of his books?

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
and they're like who Bob Berg is another one.
They're friends, I think.
Okay, Endless referrals and Iwant your listeners to also just
hear.
Like you just brushed over thisand I'm sure you talk about it
all the time, but you guys, didyou hear that Jason just said my
business coach?
Like I have a business coach,I'm coached all the time.
Like I make a lot of money, Icoach people, but none of that

(01:08:45):
means I don't need to be coachedanymore because I can't coach
myself.
To be honest, right, I'm notgonna.
I just it just doesn't worklike that.
So I just want to highlight foryour listeners too.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
Awesome, all right.
Well, everybody, if you'vegotten any value out of this or
you know someone who would,please just do us a favor and
share this episode out tosomeone who you know, especially
if they are in the real estateworld, but also if they're in
the personal development mindset.
You know the cliche, thosewords, those buzzwords that
we're trying to figure out whatbetter words to use for for this
.
But, as always, you know, rick,thank you so much for sharing

(01:09:15):
your time and passion and wisdomwith us, and I definitely would
love to continue theconversation.

Speaker 2 (01:09:20):
My pleasure, jason.
I really really appreciate youhaving me on and I'm.
This was a great conversationfor me.
I really enjoyed it.
Thanks, brother.