March 14, 2024 • 42 mins
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Have you ever witnessed a masterful blend of artistry and science? Dr. Bobby Grossi's journey from musician and athlete to revolutionary dentist is just that - a symphony of skill, heart, and entrepreneurial spirit. Join us as we uncover the transformative lessons of leadership and growth within the realm of dentistry, with a narrative enriched by Dr. Grossi's personal triumphs and tribulations. We tackle the profound shift from a me-first mindset to a service-oriented approach that propels not only personal fulfillment but also, quite unexpectedly, financial success.
Imagine your mind as a fortress, guarded by the three sentinels of fear, judgment, and ego. This episode is your strategic guide to navigating past these gatekeepers, transforming your thinking and business practices without succumbing to their whispers. Listen as we share stories of change and resilience, revealing how pivoting strategies instead of rigidly adhering to them can lead to surprising and rewarding outcomes. Dr. Grossi expertly demonstrates how clarity, adaptability, and the courage to embrace change can redefine success in any profession.
We all face the challenges of leadership and personal growth, often walking the line between isolation and influence. This episode isn't just about dentistry; it's a conversation about the universal journey of finding balance, setting boundaries, and remaining true to oneself in the pursuit of excellence. Learn from Dr. Grossi's relentless commitment and how he channels it into actionable steps for a thriving practice and life. So, tune in, get inspired, and remember to catch the next episode of the You Winning Life Podcast for more insights to elevate your professional and personal aspirations.
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Jason Wasser Therapist/Coach
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The Family Room Wellness Associates
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🎧Host:You Winning Life Podcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the you Winning Life podcast your number
one source for mastering apositive existence.
Each episode will beinterviewing exceptional people
giving you empowering insightsand guiding you to extraordinary
outcomes.
Learn from specialists in theworlds of integrative and
natural wellness, spirituality,psychology and entrepreneurship
(00:22):
so you, too, can be winning life.
Now here's your host licensedmarriage and family therapist,
certified neuro emotionaltechnique practitioner and
certified entrepreneur coach,jason Wasser.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
All right, everybody, welcome back to another awesome
episode of the you Winning Lifepodcast and, as you know, we
have Dr Bobby Grossi in today'sepisode and we're going to get
into some really awesome topics,including the idea of being
relentlessly committed, whyleadership is lonely, what does
a pivot in your business reallymean, and the three gatekeepers
(01:00):
that we're always keeping in ourhead, as well as possibly some
other side tangents, but,knowing that we had an awesome
pregame, those are some top ofthe line things that are coming
to my mind that I know and hopewe're going to get back into.
So, first of all, welcome andthanks for hanging out with us.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Well, thank you.
Thank you, Jason.
First of all, thank you foreven having me as a guest in
your podcast.
I'm really, really excited tohopefully serve your listeners
right to really so they cancrush this thing called life.
It's just a game, Life isnothing but a game, and it's
whether you want to swing orshoot, you know, swing the bat
or shoot the shot right.
So I'm excited, I'm honored andI'm excited to be here, Jason.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Awesome and I want to give a shout out to Todd
Armstrong, who connected us, andTodd is just such a wonderful,
wonderful person.
So, Todd, if you're everlistening to any of our episodes
, of all the people that are inyour world, I wanted to thank
you very much for making thisintroduction happen.
So, first of all, you know,you're a dentist and you're
doing some really, really,really cool stuff, not just as a
practitioner but as a coach, aswith business development, with
(01:57):
marketing to differentstrategies.
Walk me through just you know,for the first few minutes, just
that development of being a, youknow, just a practitioner, in
quotations to bringing in thisentrepreneurial business
development side, which I thinkis different of biz development
versus entrepreneurship mindset.
(02:17):
I think business development iskind of like what do I need to
do to grow my business?
But that entrepreneurship kindof takes in all the psychology
which includes not just you know, working yourself to the bone
to grow a business, but how doyou leverage, how do you grow,
how do you expand, how do youempower others.
So walk us through a little bitof that you know journey for
you in your you know, medical,moving into this more of this
(02:38):
entrepreneurship mindset.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, so really quick version of a long story, right?
Actually, before my journey atDentistry began, I thought I was
going to be a musician.
Baseball player had full rise.
I love music.
I had full rise to playbaseball.
My grandpa, my dad, left when Iwas two.
He was a big drug addict,something that, raised by a
single mom, really came fromnothing.
(03:00):
And I, you know, I rememberwhen I was eight years old
riding a big wheel and I know,jason, this is I'm going to go
back to your question, but I'mjust going to give you a
synopsis of who I am.
I remember this voice in myhead saying you're meant for
something different.
And my family had this seed.
And I wrote a book calledDusty's Not Hereditary for a
reason, but my family had thislike tradition and culture that
(03:21):
we were always just Robin, peterto pay Paul and doing this
thing.
And I always, I always kind ofbeat to my own drum.
I was never like my brother, Iwas never like my sister, even
though I got a twin sister.
I was like this guy that lifeis just fun, like life is just
nothing about fun.
It's rainbows and butterflies,right, that's what it was.
But I was always very motivatedand I was always like, even
though I was a four foot 11 as ajunior and I'm five, 11 now, I
(03:43):
weigh a buck eight.
I was like four foot 11, like95 pounds.
I always had this leadershiptendency Like yours just meant
to lead.
I meant it was a calling.
I felt like it was just calling.
I felt like I was six, fivewhen I was really four, 11.
It's just how I felt.
And so I went through.
My grandpa dies of throat cancerFebruary 3rd in 1994.
I'm working on music, I'm noteven in college, and I go oh my
gosh, like dude, you have tomake a difference in this world
(04:06):
through medicine.
Then my wife who's my wifestill now, but my girlfriend at
the time, who's now my wife.
She was a nurse and she sayshey, are you sure you want to be
married to my page, your pager?
Now I'm aging myself.
A pager used to go on your hipSure, I still know Jason, but
I'm 50 years old.
So she goes are you sure youwant to be married to your pager
, cause you've always wanted tobe a family man.
And I said you know what?
Then I'm just going to pickdentistry.
(04:26):
I knew nothing in dentistry,nothing about dentistry, like
there was no rhyme or reason whyI picked dentistry.
The only reason why I pickeddentistry was because I wanted
to make sure that nobody everhad to sack or go through the
pain that my grandpa had to gothrough with throat cancer.
And I thought, well, maybe Ican be the first line of defense
and make a difference that way.
So I thought my calling andpurpose was that I really
thought of becoming dentists.
(04:47):
Do this thing.
Then my dentistry comes anddental school teaches you how to
just do enough to be apracticing dentist, like I mean
barely, barely like school notall, but school in general,
right Is bare minimumcompetencies to graduate and
pass possibly not even to pass aboard or a lower bar.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, for example.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, Bare minimum skill set and I go, okay, well,
this isn't what I signed on for.
I'm a half a million dollars adebt.
Okay, great, I make a hundredon average.
You make $185 a dentistry.
Like, well, this would suckCause, if you look at the, if
you look at the foot flop, likeit's not good, like I'm no real,
pay all that debt.
So I'm like, huh, how would youhonor somebody?
In my opinion, like, how wouldyou truly honor somebody, serve
(05:29):
a community but become the bestyou?
Well, I'd have to grow andexpand my practice.
So initially my first 10 yearswas how do I just grow my
practice?
How do I grow my practice?
And then I realized I wasgrowing it so fast that all my
processes and systems absolutelysucked.
Like I could not withstand thegrowth.
So then I had to become readyfrom dentist to CEO.
That's when I really startedstudying business of dentistry
(05:51):
and then fast forward about twothat well, right during the
pandemic I realized, man, whatif you can make an impact on
dental students before they evengot out?
Like, what if you could coachand mentor them?
Hence the title.
The dentist CEO comes into play.
How do I convert a dentistmindset to a CEO mindset Like
(06:12):
how do I help people if I couldcut cause?
We're here to serve.
Let's be real, jason, we're allhere to serve.
If I can make somebody fastforward 15 years and cut 15
years so they become successful,then I really served my calling
.
I've taken the new generationof dentists and I made them that
much better, and I think so.
That was my initial plan.
And then that's where theentrepreneur in mind started
(06:33):
coming in.
I was doing dentistry and I wasliving in my practice, but I was
never working on my practice,so that created the processes
and systems in place that couldkind of function without me.
I developed the leadership teamaround me which in us as
dentists I know this is gonna beshocking we're control freaks.
We all want control.
We had to do it all on our own.
We had to commit to it.
(06:54):
Right, we went through dentalschool, even though you have
people that support you, but inyour mind you gotta solve
everything.
Like somebody's got a problem,you gotta solve it.
And it's a hard mindset, jason,to get out of, because we tend
to look for problems in thingsversus what's right.
Even when you're sounds sillylike, even when you're talking
to your staff, I tend to saywhat's wrong more than what's
right and I have to do a betterjob.
(07:15):
And I said wait a minute, yougotta foot this whole mindset.
So my practice was stagnant foralmost 15 years, did not grow,
not until I changed aboutserving my team more than
serving me and serving mypatients more than serving my
ego did I blow through it andgrew almost $2 million in the
first year.
I did that.
$2 million growth in one yearWow, it's unheard of.
(07:37):
And so then I knew I was ontosomething.
Not that this is some eurekathing.
You're looking at thisconversation like no kidding
dude, you gotta serve people.
Like so many people listen tothis.
We get so caught up in what wewanna do that we're only worried
about us, that we're notlooking at the collateral effect
, if you will, of what happensaround you and maybe that's the
(07:58):
gatekeeper or video which we'regonna touch on later.
But that's what happens.
We get so caught up in ourworld that we forget about
there's other external factorsthat we gotta pay attention to
and how to grow a team.
You grow a team by making themfeel something bigger than what
we are.
You have patients come back toyou because they're a part of
something bigger.
People wanna be a part ofsomething big.
That's why you see the movement, you see all this stuff, you
(08:19):
see the Facebook groups.
They just wanna be a part of abig movement.
Right, podcasts they were hey,I'm a subscriber to this podcast
.
They wanna be a part ofsomething big, something they
love and a race.
But so then the dentist CEOcomes and the entrepreneurs
started coming, because Irealized, hey, at some point I
heard this from Grant Cardon.
Never, I'll never forget whosaid it you need seven streams
of income.
Well, I'm like well, dude, Ionly have one.
(08:39):
Right, like I have one.
So, like, how do I create asituation for my family and how
do I finally be able to stepback at 50 versus grinding,
seeing 20,000 procedures a year?
How do I finally not burn out?
What can you do?
Well, it's time to createpassive income, whether it's
(09:00):
financial planning, openingdifferent franchises.
I own a dental lab.
I started thinking, like anentrepreneur, like what would
you do if you could neverpractice dentistry?
And I started creating wealththat way.
And then, ultimately, now Ijust want to share it.
Now I'm just like you know what?
I don't have it all figured out.
Maybe I'm only a freshman incollege, where you might be an
eighth grade right now with thewhole concept, but I paid a path
(09:23):
that I know works from a guy inFlint, michigan.
Now people like don't know me.
I'm not in some big fancy city,I'm not sitting here where
there's money coming out thewindow.
As a matter of fact, if you go,my average crown I get is $700.
And you're like what I got?
The same amount of crown priceper crown at 21 years ago as I
do today.
So that tells you how patheticit is.
(09:43):
My point is is I've also grownon a practice 20 to 30% every
year since.
So it's not about how muchmoney that comes in.
Yes, it'd be great, but if Ican do it in Flint, I can treat
chain anybody to do it anywhereelse.
I promise you Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Well, that makes sense, right, Because it's your
ideas and your.
The wisdom that you gather doesapply to multiple scenarios.
How is the person going to takethat and apply that to their
context?
Context is everything.
So I know, right, I'm in SouthFlorida and when we're pricing
out, what do I charge fortherapy compared to someone
who's in Atlanta?
Someone's like, oh wow, youcharge a lot more in my in South
(10:20):
Florida than you do in Atlanta.
I'm like, yeah, but you're alsolike eight minutes away from
one of the most wealthiestaffluent neighborhoods in the
town.
Why aren't you charging?
Because proximity is that, butit also just depends on like
that.
That bare wisdom of this worksuniversally.
No matter where you go, everypatient wants to be treated well
.
Every patient wants to betreated like family.
(10:41):
Every patient wants someonewhere they can be proud to say,
hey, I have a doctor, whateverfield it is, a practitioner, a
referral resource that I reallylove and trust.
I want my friends and family tobe going to that person because
I know I'm in good hands.
That's a universal thing and Isee so many people have that
where one of the things that I'mproud of, like, even if a
(11:02):
client is not a fit for me.
I will tell them to call meback after they do their search
if they can find someone, so Ican help them find someone.
If it's anything within an areathat I know about, if it's
something that I'm like listen,I have no clue, I don't know
anything about that I can postit on a Facebook group for you
and I'll do that and then callme, email me in a week or two
(11:22):
and I can tell you what leads Igot.
But I try to do that even forpeople who are not an
appropriate fit or people whothink I'm too expensive and I'll
say, well, let me find yousomebody.
I think there's something to besaid for that.
That's a universal thing, versus, like our office staff being
like nope, sorry, we don't takeyour insurance or no, sorry,
we're booked for the next sixmonths.
You can either wait on ourwaiting list or call someone
else.
Hang up, right?
(11:45):
That just that one little thingmakes such a huge difference,
even if I never work with them.
But they know someone cares.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
And that's what it's about.
Like I mean, there's a lot ofpatients.
I always say, you know, like,at the end of the day, I do a
lot of sleep therapy and I don'tget paid a dime for sleep
therapy, right, but I don't.
There's nothing like, hey, youshouldn't have their sleep study
, hey, we should go here.
And I always laugh at people.
I'm like, they're like, and Isay this right, let's see, the
best thing you could do is tellthem to right, show them the
value you're giving them,without just them assuming they
(12:16):
know the value, right?
Hey, just so you know, I'm onyour team, I'm Dr Grassy Dennell
, and wellness, I'm about wholewellness mindset.
You know, if I need to send youto a shrink, I'm gonna send you
to a shrink.
If I need to do sit here andtalk about Jesus Christ, I'm
gonna sit here and talk aboutJesus Christ.
Like I don't get paid to do allthis stuff.
But with that said, if I serveyou, I mean literally, if we
serve people to a level that'sabove and bigger than us, you're
(12:39):
gonna grow exponentially Notmaybe not always financially,
but emotionally, and you willhave this fire lit in you.
And that's why I always tellpeople like you don't have a
fire lit is because you're notdoing enough.
You don't have a fire lit isbecause you're not sharing you
enough.
You know, every one of us,jason, have a voice.
Every one of us had this giftwithin us to be so powerful.
(13:02):
And I see, even with my familymembers, I'm getting chills.
So maybe there's something elsein the room which is cool, but
I see people not even implyingthe gifts that been given to
them because of fear.
Let's talk about thegatekeepers.
You mentioned the gatekeepersbefore.
If you don't mind, I'm kind of,yeah, let's go.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be in any particular order,
sorry.
So you're talking about thegatekeepers fear, judgment and
ego.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And you know we go in this.
We live in the social mediaworld where if I don't get a
like, somebody doesn't like me.
If I don't, somebody doesn'trespond, I'm gonna hurry up and
take my video down.
Or if I say the truth, say thetruth of how I really feel, I'm
gonna be canceled.
Right.
So we're taught that you canonly say things or do things
that we feel now are sociallyacceptable.
So we suppress all thesepeople's individuality and then
(13:49):
they get depressed and they getanxious and I'll tell people be
you, be exactly who you werecalled to be.
Tell the truth of who you are,because that is what's
ultimately gonna give you thefreedom.
In the Bible it says the trueself sets you free.
Right Come almost prisoners toour own cell phone.
We become prisoners to thewalls that we live in and we're
(14:09):
too afraid to share or say youknow what?
I don't really have much goingon and I'm only 13 years old or
I'm only 18 years old.
There's no way that reallywants to hear from me and it's
just not true.
There's so many people that,just if they would just share
and serve people through graceand love, this whole chaos we
live in would be totally gone.
(14:30):
But they're so worried aboutwhat if somebody judges me?
And if I do this, what if Ifail?
And let's be real, we talkedabout the school systems.
Even in dentistry, we judgepeople on pass and failure.
Not good job, get better, it'slike pass fail.
So if you fail, you can't evenmove on.
(14:50):
Well, that is the biggest lieof all life.
You should fail.
As a matter of fact, I wouldgive you a better shot if you
keep trying and you fail 10times versus your pass at once,
because it's that failure, it'sthat pit you live in in your gut
.
It's that darkness that isultimately going to give you the
answer that you're searchingfor to become better.
Like if you're a therapist andwe talked about this look at all
(15:13):
the therapy sessions you do andI don't know how we got on this
, but I'm speaking to this Jesus, let's go.
So look at all the therapysessions you go through.
They all come in this darknessand if it isn't from this
darkness, you'll never change.
It's the transfer to people canchange.
Like we can be a triangle.
We can move the triangle to theright, we can move the triangle
down, and I'm using my handsright now to show you trying.
(15:33):
We can spin a triangle.
People say that's change.
What you're really looking foris transformation.
How do you no longer?
How do you go from a triangleto a circle?
That's growth.
But you have to fall in thedarkness or that pain point.
And that's why you hear peopleoh, when I lost my dad, I did
this Right.
When my grandpa died, I wentthis way.
When my marriage sucked, I didthis.
(15:54):
When my kids disowned me, Irealized to do this because you
have to fall, and I think we sayfailure like it's a bad thing.
In all reality, failure is agreat thing.
It's a great learning tool,it's a lesson in life and we
need to embrace that.
So that's why you got kids.
People scared to talk, humansscared to talk.
Because what if I say the wrongthing?
What if I fail?
Well then, you're not.
How do you save people?
In dentistry?
My endos never failed, or myroot canals are never failed, or
(16:17):
my crown prep has never failed.
I look right at them likeyou're not doing them, because
that's the biggest lie of alllies they all fail.
What did you learn from it?
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
So anyway, I went out and I think that I think that's
such a.
I think that's an assailantpoint and in my practice, I call
that teachable moments where,one way or the other, every
experience or attempt shouldgive you more of what you want
or point you to what you wantless of.
It's a very distinct experience.
Okay, so you tried that.
(16:45):
What was the common denominatorbetween all the things you're
trying that haven't worked foryou?
And if we can figure out thecommon denominator, it's not the
attempts that you're making,it's the belief you have behind
all the attempts.
If things are working for you,what's the common denominator
about why all these things areworking out for you?
There's a belief, assumptionand expectation underneath that
that's supporting those thingsto get you there.
If you have more things thatare that are moving you forward,
then those are the things youwant to hold on to.
(17:07):
If you have more things thatare holding you back and pushing
you backwards and constantlyshowing up in ways that don't
support or work for you or makeyou feel more connected and
uplifted connected to otherpeople and uplifted and your
inside then maybe there's somebeliefs, assumptions and
expectations you got to dropthere.
And if that's happening overand over again.
Well, why aren't you learningthe teachable moment in that?
Right?
Or what was the teachablemoment in that that you did
(17:28):
learn from?
And that idea of change ortransformation is a huge thing
because, one, the idea of likechange is scary.
Right, going back to what youwere just saying about these
internal, you know thegatekeepers, excuse me, but,
right, if you do talk about thatidea of like, well, I'm not
asking you to change.
Right, it's a transformationwhich is like, just, it sounds
sexier, it sounds a little bitmore exciting and motivated,
(17:49):
right, it's not like.
Oh well, what transforming islike.
You know the butterfly cocoontype of metaphor versus like,
nope, everything about you iswrong and therefore we have to
get rid of that and substitutethat out with completely,
entirely different things of you.
And then that negates all thewonderful things that people
have organically.
It negates all the things thatyou say that you're inherent
traits, but it also doesn'thonor hey, you have an
(18:11):
opportunity to make these thingsthat aren't working for you
better.
But I think that kind of like,you know, leads us into this
idea of like.
You know, we talk about a lot inthe business, entrepreneurship
world and on friends, pivot,right, that was a big scene in
one of the famous friendsepisodes about the pivoting the
memory of Chandler who justpassed.
But this idea of, like,pivoting in your business,
(18:33):
pivoting in your life.
So I'm curious, what does that?
What does pivoting really meanfor you?
Because that's one of thosebuzzwords that's just thrown
around in the entrepreneurshipcircle of the many, many, many.
Maybe that should be a book.
I should write all the BSbuzzwords that entrepreneurs use
, that don't but.
But right.
But pivoting is one of those.
Like you know again, likediamond does them Lulu lemon,
(18:54):
you know cashwords.
So what, what, what doespivoting mean to for you, both
personally and professionally?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I want to answer that , but I got to touch on the
gatekeepers really fast.
So people know that thegatekeepers are not bad.
The gatekeepers, as I call fear, judgment and ego, are a safety
measure for you to be safe.
So it's supposed to enlightensomething from within, saying,
hey, we have a problem here.
Right, if you get, if you feela scarcity mindset or let's say
(19:22):
it's a money thing I'm going touse this as an example and you
realize your burn rates morethan your income rate, like
you're burning more money thanyour income your gatekeepers
going to trigger your anxiety isgoing to come up.
And it's just to give youawareness.
Where people fail is they givethe gatekeepers the power over
them.
So meaning, once they fear,they constrict.
We've all done it, we've all doit and they don't continue to
(19:43):
expand versus ready understandthat there's a problem.
Here comes the pivot transitionUnderstand that there's a
problem, okay, got it.
Thank you, gatekeeper, forbringing this to my attention.
Now, where am I going to pivotto to fix this?
Like, what changes do I nowneed to make to fix this problem
, to come up with a solution?
So pivoting to me is coming upwith a new process, a new system
(20:06):
, or just a new strategy, if youwill, something that might now
be working as you think itshould be working.
So if you're not getting thepatience to come in, or if
you're not getting the resultsthat you're looking for, or
Somebody's not meeting yourexpectations which are all BS
expectations, because we putfake expectations on people and,
best guess time, they don'teven know the expectations we
put on them.
(20:26):
But I digress they don't evenknow that these are expectations
of them because we don'tallocate it.
But pivoting to me is justalmost like when I pitch.
If I'm in the pitchers mode, Iknow I'm supposed to throw it a
home plate, but sometimesthere's a run around first and
so I literally have to look andpivot and I'm looking over my
shoulder.
I gotta pivot and maybe throwit a first.
Sometimes You're just changingthe trajectory of you throwing
(20:49):
the pitch to get a differentoutcome, or you're controlling
the game, if you will.
You're just more controllingthe game and how fast the game
is being played.
So that's kind of what pivotingto me means.
It's just hey, it didn't workright now.
Now the cool thing is is youcould pivot one day and then
repivot back the next day ofwhat you wanted to do the whole
time.
It's just, if something isgrabbing your attention right,
(21:12):
if something is grabbing yourattention and outside noise
grabbing your attention,sometimes you gotta you know,
sometimes you gotta not playthat existing game.
Pivot, handle this over here.
Pivot back and go back to whatneeds to be done.
You're putting out fires, ifyou will, or you're coming up
with a different strategy.
That's what pivot means to me.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah, yeah, and that's really the one of the
things I'm seeing consistentlyis that people do want an
outcome and two things show up.
One, they're not crystal clearwith what that looks like, with
the absence of the things thatare bothering them, and two,
they don't realize that it's alot simpler to get there when
they abandon the tactics thatthey've been using to try to get
(21:52):
there in the first place.
Right, and that idea, I think,from me looking at it, what a
pivot is, is, like I said before, right, it's increasing the
things that are already workingfor you and already serving you
to get what you want, andletting go of the resistance
around the collection of thingsthat aren't getting you the
outcomes, but finding what thecommon denominators are and your
(22:14):
beliefs, assumptions andexpectations about that, and
then completely abandoning anddropping that and just returning
back to the things that areworking for you and applying
that strategy to those otherthings which everybody
organically has and neatly has.
And so I've been leaning moreand more into that idea of what
a pivot could be when, if wejust ask so what is working?
(22:37):
How has that been working?
What are the commondenominating thread?
Right?
What's the thread that holdsthat all together, okay.
So now that we know that, howdo we take that strategy?
And now from that good feelingplace and now take that to solve
a problem?
Because rule number one that Ialways tell my clients is never
solve a problem from a placethat feels like crap, because
you're already in fight orflight, you're already in
(22:57):
survival mode, you're already inan emotional flooding, your
physiology is out of whack andyou're not being strategic and
therefore you can't think fromyour rational brain, which a lot
of this does go back to right.
We talked about the threegatekeepers.
We're talking about pivoting,we're talking about setting
examples and being a leadership.
If we're not in a neutral, slash, proactive state
physiologically, it doesn'tmatter how many yeah, yeah raw
(23:21):
rock conferences we go to, itdoesn't matter for at a 10x
conference or hanging out withGary V or Ned Milet or a CROC or
whatever I mean.
In CROC, we both know wellright Is a force to be reckoned
with and a powerful, positivehuman being.
We can live with CROC for amonth, but unless we do that
inner work, we're only gonna getso much.
(23:41):
And then, of course, what do wedo?
We go to the next conferenceand then we go to the next
conference and the next one'sgonna be the silver bullet and
the next training is gonna bethe silver bullet and the next
coach is gonna be the silverbullet, when it's all that
inside job which leads us tolike this idea of like
loneliness right In this bubbleof maybe this is why we do these
podcasts right.
You have yours and you haveyour coaching and your training
(24:02):
right.
And I just came back from a weekin California and a couple of
days in LA and a five days inSan Diego for an integrative
medicine conference for thisneuro-emotional technique mode
community that I'm part of andit's their 35th anniversary,
which is incredible, that thismodality's been, you know,
really helping so many peoplearound the world and it's
community and it's family andit's as much a homecoming, which
(24:22):
is what they call it.
They didn't call it a 35th yearanniversary, they called it the
35th homecoming, which is such abeautiful title, and it's
practitioners, all medical forall licensed, so therapists and
acupuncturists and chiropractorsand physical therapists and
speech language pathologists,all doing the same thing from
our doorway, around the samemodality, and that's, you know,
(24:47):
something, that when we're homeand we're seeing your people,
there is a level of loneliness.
There is a level of lonelinessof trying to create something
and guide and lead people.
So I'm curious, like just sometips on how, to you know, we
identify it.
We know, especially indentistry, that is unfortunately
, you know, that is a field thathas a lot of struggles because
(25:08):
you're not always interactingwith your clients.
So one it's a one medical fieldwhere you know, obviously minus
a surgeon, where most of thetime you have your clients can't
talk fully back to you, whichmight be a good thing.
But what are some of the tipsthat you would give to someone
when they're in a space ofgrowth, whether it's at work or
at home, and they're feelinglonely, especially when they're
(25:30):
trying to push forward and moveforward in their life?
Speaker 3 (25:34):
I mean, I'm not a therapist, but I've always
believed I okay.
So I have a habit.
I would create rituals orhabits in a day that allow me to
get all the things internallyout.
And so even sometimes I thinkthe number one thing is people
bottle so much stuff in that itbecomes a part of their soul.
When I don't care if somebodyjust has to write in a journal
(25:57):
and say here's all my thoughts,I call it stacking.
So what I do every morning is Imight do a gratitude stack, a
prayer stack, an arranged stacksometimes whatever emotion I'm
feeling, because, like you justsaid, you never make decisions
in a negative state or whateverit is, even in a happy state.
Sometimes you're just like, oh,I'm just good, and you're not
really thinking rashly becauseyou get so excited and you're
(26:18):
like I'm gonna jump out of theplane and then I'll forgot the
parachute, right, but you haveto always.
You gotta kind of control thething.
So I wake up, the first thing Ido is I get movement going.
So I wake up and I'll just showgratitude, because I know that
if I show gratitude it's gonnaat least get my mind right, even
if I'm in a darkness, like it'sso hard.
Like Tony Robbins said this onetime I was nervous when I was
(26:41):
30.
I am the voice, I lead, notfall.
Believe, not doubt, create notdestroy.
I'm a force for good.
I defy the odds of setting newstandards and I step up.
That is the first thing I'vesaid to myself every day.
I wake up, no matter what moodI'm in.
I am the voice I lead, not fall.
Believe, not doubt, create, notdestroy.
I'm a force for good.
I defy the odds of setting newstandards and I step up.
It tricks my mind to say wait aminute.
If you're the voice and you'rea leader, you don't fall like I
(27:02):
have to now show up differently.
Even in that day I had to showup differently.
And then I get all my thoughtsout right and I do my stacking
and then I meditate.
I know people don't, somepeople believe in meditation,
some people don't, but for me,obviously you can tell by my
energy level.
I'm high run, high anxiety guy.
Like I go, like I just go.
I have to have that calmingstate.
As a matter of fact, before Ieven came on with you, I had to
(27:24):
meditate.
I'd go okay, go down andcontrol my emotions, and so that
is step one, I think.
I think that's why therapyworks, that's why I do
podcasting always.
Laughs sometimes is I'll do apodcast and I'll even say on my
podcast yeah, I don't know thisrelates to you, but I have to
get this off my chest becausethis is what I'm thinking.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Like it's something that someone's gonna connect
with it at some point.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I like, like he always say well, why you so
authentic and real, like it's areal, I think, because I'm
living what I'm telling you,like I'm just telling you what I
I'm just telling you, and if ithelped you, great and all
reality is therapy session forme.
But hey, let's do this right,right and so so I think I, I
think it's Getting gettingbecause, let's be honest, we
(28:05):
said leadership is lonely.
There's a lot of people withinyour four walls that you live
with at your house that are notgoing through what you're going
through.
There's a lot of people that donot get it because most of the
time, I've always been theleader, not only in business,
but at my house, as a kid and asmy house at home.
Not like I'm King Bobby, that'snot what I mean.
(28:26):
My wife's my queen, she runs thehouse, but financially and from
a business point of view andall the decisions, it's me, the
kids.
I kind of like her pawn, likeyou go here, you go there.
I love you, babe, I got you,you helped me make decisions.
But we have different roles.
But I don't want to share this.
Sometimes we're so scared tosay the truth, whether it is a
financial crisis or we're.
(28:46):
We don't want to share itbecause we're trying to
eliminate the stress.
So then we deal with it all onourself sure.
So one thing I would say is dealwith it, with the truth.
Like, if you need to talk tosomebody, talk to somebody.
If you need a therapist, be athird, get it.
Find a therapist.
If you need to just write it ona piece of paper, do it.
The worst thing you can do isstop moving.
I was in a really darkness justa month ago, like really just a
(29:08):
month ago.
So many things from sixdifferent businesses felt like
it was caving in.
Right, they weren't.
They weren't because I wasgoing in the Gatekeeper mode and
my emotions were taken in andnow my mind was flipping.
I couldn't solve.
It really was just Giggity,giggity, giggity.
And guess what happened?
Relationship sucked at home,the kids sucked at home.
My relationships at work werewe're faltering.
You know my fitness level, eventhough I was working out was
(29:31):
kind of half-ass, like you knowmy, my place starts between that
.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
That one foot between your head and your heart, right
.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
That's it.
It started unravelingeverything.
I said whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What got you to?
This point ready, pivot.
This is not working.
Stop it.
You got to go back to withinyourself.
And when, jason, when you talkabout working on yourself, I
mean it's so funny to me Peoplewill give you more opinions
about what somebody else isdoing wrong than they ever will
(29:59):
about what they're doing wrong.
Oh yeah, never they'll tellsomebody else how to fix their
life.
But if I said to them you like,why you so much?
I have not missed a workout in101 consecutive days, I know.
I thought no, 101 consecutivedays.
And it's not so that I'm jacked.
It has nothing to do with beingjacked, nothing to do with it.
It's about a commitment levelthat if I'm a health
(30:22):
professional Ready, if I'm ahealth professional, my mind's
got to be right and my body'sgot to be right.
If I tell Jason, I don't wantyou doing XYZ, and they look at
me and I'm not the reflectionthat they want to see, I'm a
fraud.
If they look at my mindset andI don't have a good mindset,
whether I'm blowing upinternally and I don't
communicate that.
I'm a fraud if they, if theycan, everybody can feel energy.
(30:45):
So going back to the leadershipis lonely.
Yes, you got to put so muchwork in all by yourself, all by
yourself, that nobody can do foryou.
They always say nobody can beyour savior.
That is a true comment.
Nobody can be your savior, youmust save yourself.
They can throw you a lightpreserver, they can throw you
(31:05):
something, but at the end of theday you get on.
I'll give you a one moreexample that my daughter says
dad, I don't, I don't know if Iwant to go to dental school,
because what if I only got inbecause you're a dentist?
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I said, I said.
I said first of all, welcome tothis world.
People open doors for you.
Secondly, just say thank youfor opening the door.
But here's the thing you got torealize I can't take your test.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
I can't do the classes.
We can't do it for someone else, but that's a big problem in
the world where everybody thisis the pandemic of codependency
right, where we step in, wedon't know where we end and
someone else begins.
And then going back to socialmedia and all these things right
, especially you and I weretalking about right now, with
what's going on and this bigrise of conflict and hatred
(31:49):
that's happening right now,people are just overstepping
boundaries left and right and noone knows where they end.
And just through a keyboard,the safety behind a keyboard
Right, especially over the lastfive years let's just put it
into context of the last five toeight years the safety that we
have behind a keyboard is not iskind of like seeing someone
driving in the car and they'repicking their nose without a
(32:10):
tinted, filtered window, butthey think it's the same thing.
We all see you.
That's not what you're doing.
We all know that you don'trealize that you're being gross
or an idiot right now, except onFacebook.
We know your name and we knowyour.
I got a death threat this weekon social media from somebody
who saw something Like you.
Don't think I'm gonna track youdown and post what you did on
(32:31):
LinkedIn and tag you and thenhave it sent out to 2,000 people
and your career is gonna beover.
Like you don't think thatthat's gonna happen.
You're an idiot, right?
People don't think.
People, we don't know where weend.
And someone else begins Likeyou, saying, if someone wanting
someone else to take the testand being in that like, can you
fix this for me?
And they don't even know thatthey're asking for that, because
it's just that setup and thatcontext and the language and the
(32:53):
communication and finding theright people who are willingly
gonna step into that.
You are in a different place nowwhere you're like God, that
sucks, what do you think youneed to do to pass?
Or God, that sucks, what do youthink you need to do to fix
your business?
Versus, I'm gonna come in andfix it for you for free.
That's.
It's all really aboutboundaries, and I think that's
such a really interesting 2023,moving into 2024, if we just
(33:16):
really knew what healthyboundaries were and also said,
like God, that sucks, you'regoing through that.
Who are you talking to?
Who's your therapist?
Who's your business coach?
Who's your mentor?
How much of these things wouldbe solved, right?
Who's helping you and teachingyou how to lead a weekly staff
(33:38):
meeting for your staff?
Who's teaching you how to trainyour office manager?
All of them Right.
All that is is just gettingthat outside influence and stop
doing the things we've always doand did in that regards, and I
think that does lead to likeright.
The loneliness of leadership iswhile we're just doing it from
inside of our head.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
And that's a lot of where we get stuck.
So I want to wrap up just withthis idea of being relentlessly
committed, because you'retalking about the right.
You're like, I've done thismany days working out and this
is what I'm doing with mybusiness and helping other
people's businesses and beingcommitted.
I do want to just put this outthere for people who are
listening A lot of times, andthis is what I'm really you
(34:23):
mentioned Grant Cardone beforeand I'm a big, big fan of the
10X philosophy and the idea thatwe should set a bigger goal and
we're more likely to achievethat bigger goal than if we set
a littler goal, a smaller goal,and because the amount of the
output and the steps to getthere could be the same amount
(34:46):
of effort.
It's just we think about itdifferently.
That's just a wholephilosophical frame of reference
.
What I have found is that peoplehave made their goals.
What they've decided theirgoals are are really just action
steps.
So one of the things that I askis, when they have goals that
are being set okay, so let's saywe solve that then what?
(35:06):
And it's just like I usuallyget no response because whatever
their goal has been has neverbeen able because all these
things they think are holdingthat in place, like, well, that
would be the greatest end, allbe, oh, if I achieve that, well,
okay, but if you did and wemade that an action step, what
would be that an action step?
That's part of what, and thatjust completely changes the
(35:28):
whole conversation, becausethat's so again, right, the idea
that I wanna share with you andlisteners today is like we have
to realize that when we setgoals, 99% of the time they're
usually an action step tosomething that we've never
thought about.
That could be even bigger.
We've made the goal themountain, when the goal is
really just the speed bump.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yes, sir, absolutely.
With that I mean, let me say itreliably.
Let's say you committed to me.
It's like I don't even like theword goals.
I know Grant Cardone uses goalsand I'll tell you why I like
targets.
A target is a laser focus.
A goal is a big, broad picture,right?
So even in dentistry, when Iset goals, everyone said how did
you grow $2 million in one year?
Honestly, there was no plan.
(36:06):
I went to my team, I broke downthe math and I said I wanna be
a $4 million practice in FlintMichigan like doctor.
We're only two, I get it.
I wanna be $4 million.
And so I broke it down by thehour.
I broke it down.
What would you have to produceon the hour?
What would we have to produce aweek?
What would we average?
And then I'd ask my team thisquestion do you think that's
attainable?
Yeah, all right, I already gotbuying this, so that's part of
(36:29):
it, right?
So I already got buying butrelentlessly committed to me the
way that working out andsetting goals and setting
targets, goals and targets arereally to keep you on track when
you're off Like so if you getlost, you just go open up your
goal.
But that's why Grant Cardinalreads him twice a day, writes
him down twice a day.
That's just a discipline.
He just has a discipline ofdoing it.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
It's not really moving.
It's also activating yourneurology to be focused on those
things.
So the exclusion of everythingelse.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Correct.
So like to me when I sayrelentlessly committed, I'm
relentlessly committed to havingit all.
Like having it all.
I'm talking about the best bodyI could possibly have, because
God gave me a weapon.
People are worried aboutvaccines.
They're worried about this pill, this pill.
This pill, this pill, like allthat stuff, is great.
If you need to take the pill,god bless you.
I'm not here to tell you.
I'm not telling you to talkabout a vaccine or anything like
(37:13):
that.
I have my beliefs, you haveyour beliefs.
That's not what this is about.
I also know that we have thebest immune system in the world
if you take care of it right.
So good shit in, good shit out.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Right, keep it simple .
Keep it simple, right, keep itsimple.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
That's simple right.
So if I work out every day, ittrains my mind that you have to
be committed towards your endgoal.
It's something that I can see.
Nobody can do it for me, nobodycan work out for me.
So that's why I start withworking out is because when I
start seeing this change in mybody, which is really slow,
which is really tough for peopleto realize, they want it.
Now, Like it's a slowtransformation, oh yeah.
(37:45):
Slow and it might take you sixmonths, eight months, nine
months, 12 months, whatever itis, to do what you want, right,
and sometimes just screw up andeat the bonbons.
And I only actually own twocrumble cookies and you guys
might laugh like this is adentist that owns a cookie place
.
I know Now, I don't eat thecookies.
I sell the cookies.
That sounds a bit of a spiritto me, but with that said, with
that said, you know, if I eatthat, okay, well, I'm gonna step
(38:06):
back.
So it starts with working outwith me.
Then it's my relationship withChrist and God and meditation in
my mindset and how I get mymind right.
Because if I'm not rightphysically, then I have too much
energy I haven't burned.
I'm gonna take it out on myfamily.
I'm gonna take it out on mypatients.
I'm gonna take it out onsomething I need to burn energy,
which is crazy.
Most people want energy.
I gotta burn some.
(38:27):
I gotta overload with energy.
So that's where the working outclears up my mind, opens up my
space, and people will figureout that, whether it's biking,
running, walking, breathing Justmove, just move Open up your
mind.
So you know, relentlesslycommitted is can you take a half
a step today versus no step?
Like literally, can you justmove today, Like that's the
(38:48):
first part right.
Depression and anxiety.
You know why they havedepression and anxiety they just
don't move.
It's physiologically impossible, physiologically in your body,
impossible, to feel depressed ifyou're working out because it
releases a totally differenthormone.
It's physiologically impossible.
You can still be down but youwon't be as depressed as if
(39:09):
you're.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I also found the same thing is true when you're
listening to Bob Marley.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
I don't listen to Bob Marley, so if someone doesn't
have the physical energy.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Just put on Bob Marley and I promise you right.
I will write a prescription foranyone.
Don't worry about a thing right, I can't legally write
prescriptions, but if you need atherapist note and you're like,
hey, I need to listen to thisat work, I can't.
I can't, you just got me thereyou go, there you go.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
So then you go to balance.
So it mines body being balance.
Balance is family.
I don't care who you are as anentrepreneur, I do not care how
much money you have.
I promise you this there is noway your business is at the
highest level it can be of yourfamily license shit show.
There's no way.
There is no way you can belaser focused in business if you
(39:58):
have to pick up the phonebecause something's wrong with
your kid or you're not steppingup for your kids or your wife's
all upset and you're notconsistent with your marriage
and you don't show up every daywith the energy that you show up
here.
That's one of the biggestmistakes that every entrepreneur
makes, and especially men,especially men.
They think because I make themoney, I should be this.
All that's bullshit.
You need to show up at home.
(40:19):
The same way you show up foryour patients.
You need to show them the valueof your kids.
So balance is huge for me, hugefor me.
And then I know, when I get allthose three in alignment, my
business is easy.
That's easy.
That's easy.
Now, whatever ops I face inbusiness, I've already had the
discipline over here.
So that's what I mean aboutrelentlessly committed.
You got to be relentlesslycommitted to every one of those
(40:42):
aspects in your life, and if youdo that, you'll crush it.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I love it.
So, for everybody who's beenlistening right, I want you to
go check out the dentist CEO.
There's a few differentsections on the website, which
is really, really awesome.
You have the growing with withgrassy, of the grassy mentoring,
grassy Institute, doubling yourrevenue, right?
Is this not just for dentists?
Can other fields also take awaya lot of the you know?
(41:04):
Obviously you're talking a lotof good stuff that is
universally helpful, but is thepractice, the focus of the
mentoring and the coaching andthe business development?
Is that specifically fordentists, or is it for anybody
in the wellness and healthfields as well?
Speaker 3 (41:16):
It's really anybody I look at.
If you're an entrepreneur andyou're really struggling, you're
looking to grow.
Obviously I'm I.
It's like you with a therapist,right you?
It's easier to help out atherapist because you're a
therapist.
It's easy for me to help out adentist because I'm a dentist.
I know the mindset of a dentist, I am the niche, right.
But with that said, it doesn'tmatter who you are, I'm here to
serve.
So it's open to anybody.
If somebody says, hey, I needcoaching, well, let's go, let's
(41:36):
do this Now.
Ideally, I work better withentrepreneurs an entrepreneurial
mindset not necessarily youhave your own business.
There's a mindset that anentrepreneur has which means
they want to grow.
I cannot work with people thatrefuse to grow.
If you won't put the work inlike dude, I'll be honest.
He has no different than thepatients in my practice.
I ain't got no time for it.
If you want to move, if youwant to grind, let's go, so
(41:57):
that's what it is, you know loveit, love it, love it.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
All right.
So everybody check out thatwebsite and then obviously, they
can follow you on Instagram,which all the links are there on
your website as well, andreally again want to thank you
and, obviously, everybody elsewho's been listening to this and
they've benefited from anythingin the show.
Please share it out.
We don't charge anything.
We don't do any marketing oradvertising.
There are some links that youcan lead to some of the books of
(42:21):
you know, the books of peoplewho are authors of our show,
such as yourself, right, and youcan check out some of the
things that we've talked aboutand other things that are in the
link tree that's connected backto this podcast and, like
always, again thank you and welook forward to seeing you in
our next episode.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Thanks for listening to the you Winning Life Podcast.
If you are ready to minimizeyour personal and professional
struggles and maximize yourpotential, we would love it if
you subscribe so you don't missan episode.
You can follow us on Instagramand Facebook at Jason Wasser
LMFT.
This is the you Winning Life podcast your number
one source for mastering apositive existence.
Each episode will beinterviewing exceptional people
giving you empowering insightsand guiding you to extraordinary
outcomes.
Learn from specialists in theworlds of integrative and
natural wellness, spirituality,psychology and entrepreneurship
(00:22):
so you, too, can be winning life.
Now here's your host licensedmarriage and family therapist,
certified neuro emotionaltechnique practitioner and
certified entrepreneur coach,jason Wasser.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
All right, everybody, welcome back to another awesome
episode of the you Winning Lifepodcast and, as you know, we
have Dr Bobby Grossi in today'sepisode and we're going to get
into some really awesome topics,including the idea of being
relentlessly committed, whyleadership is lonely, what does
a pivot in your business reallymean, and the three gatekeepers
(01:00):
that we're always keeping in ourhead, as well as possibly some
other side tangents, but,knowing that we had an awesome
pregame, those are some top ofthe line things that are coming
to my mind that I know and hopewe're going to get back into.
So, first of all, welcome andthanks for hanging out with us.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Well, thank you.
Thank you, Jason.
First of all, thank you foreven having me as a guest in
your podcast.
I'm really, really excited tohopefully serve your listeners
right to really so they cancrush this thing called life.
It's just a game, Life isnothing but a game, and it's
whether you want to swing orshoot, you know, swing the bat
or shoot the shot right.
So I'm excited, I'm honored andI'm excited to be here, Jason.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Awesome and I want to give a shout out to Todd
Armstrong, who connected us, andTodd is just such a wonderful,
wonderful person.
So, Todd, if you're everlistening to any of our episodes
, of all the people that are inyour world, I wanted to thank
you very much for making thisintroduction happen.
So, first of all, you know,you're a dentist and you're
doing some really, really,really cool stuff, not just as a
practitioner but as a coach, aswith business development, with
(01:57):
marketing to differentstrategies.
Walk me through just you know,for the first few minutes, just
that development of being a, youknow, just a practitioner, in
quotations to bringing in thisentrepreneurial business
development side, which I thinkis different of biz development
versus entrepreneurship mindset.
(02:17):
I think business development iskind of like what do I need to
do to grow my business?
But that entrepreneurship kindof takes in all the psychology
which includes not just you know, working yourself to the bone
to grow a business, but how doyou leverage, how do you grow,
how do you expand, how do youempower others.
So walk us through a little bitof that you know journey for
you in your you know, medical,moving into this more of this
(02:38):
entrepreneurship mindset.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, so really quick version of a long story, right?
Actually, before my journey atDentistry began, I thought I was
going to be a musician.
Baseball player had full rise.
I love music.
I had full rise to playbaseball.
My grandpa, my dad, left when Iwas two.
He was a big drug addict,something that, raised by a
single mom, really came fromnothing.
(03:00):
And I, you know, I rememberwhen I was eight years old
riding a big wheel and I know,jason, this is I'm going to go
back to your question, but I'mjust going to give you a
synopsis of who I am.
I remember this voice in myhead saying you're meant for
something different.
And my family had this seed.
And I wrote a book calledDusty's Not Hereditary for a
reason, but my family had thislike tradition and culture that
(03:21):
we were always just Robin, peterto pay Paul and doing this
thing.
And I always, I always kind ofbeat to my own drum.
I was never like my brother, Iwas never like my sister, even
though I got a twin sister.
I was like this guy that lifeis just fun, like life is just
nothing about fun.
It's rainbows and butterflies,right, that's what it was.
But I was always very motivatedand I was always like, even
though I was a four foot 11 as ajunior and I'm five, 11 now, I
(03:43):
weigh a buck eight.
I was like four foot 11, like95 pounds.
I always had this leadershiptendency Like yours just meant
to lead.
I meant it was a calling.
I felt like it was just calling.
I felt like I was six, fivewhen I was really four, 11.
It's just how I felt.
And so I went through.
My grandpa dies of throat cancerFebruary 3rd in 1994.
I'm working on music, I'm noteven in college, and I go oh my
gosh, like dude, you have tomake a difference in this world
(04:06):
through medicine.
Then my wife who's my wifestill now, but my girlfriend at
the time, who's now my wife.
She was a nurse and she sayshey, are you sure you want to be
married to my page, your pager?
Now I'm aging myself.
A pager used to go on your hipSure, I still know Jason, but
I'm 50 years old.
So she goes are you sure youwant to be married to your pager
, cause you've always wanted tobe a family man.
And I said you know what?
Then I'm just going to pickdentistry.
(04:26):
I knew nothing in dentistry,nothing about dentistry, like
there was no rhyme or reason whyI picked dentistry.
The only reason why I pickeddentistry was because I wanted
to make sure that nobody everhad to sack or go through the
pain that my grandpa had to gothrough with throat cancer.
And I thought, well, maybe Ican be the first line of defense
and make a difference that way.
So I thought my calling andpurpose was that I really
thought of becoming dentists.
(04:47):
Do this thing.
Then my dentistry comes anddental school teaches you how to
just do enough to be apracticing dentist, like I mean
barely, barely like school notall, but school in general,
right Is bare minimumcompetencies to graduate and
pass possibly not even to pass aboard or a lower bar.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, for example.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, Bare minimum skill set and I go, okay, well,
this isn't what I signed on for.
I'm a half a million dollars adebt.
Okay, great, I make a hundredon average.
You make $185 a dentistry.
Like, well, this would suckCause, if you look at the, if
you look at the foot flop, likeit's not good, like I'm no real,
pay all that debt.
So I'm like, huh, how would youhonor somebody?
In my opinion, like, how wouldyou truly honor somebody, serve
(05:29):
a community but become the bestyou?
Well, I'd have to grow andexpand my practice.
So initially my first 10 yearswas how do I just grow my
practice?
How do I grow my practice?
And then I realized I wasgrowing it so fast that all my
processes and systems absolutelysucked.
Like I could not withstand thegrowth.
So then I had to become readyfrom dentist to CEO.
That's when I really startedstudying business of dentistry
(05:51):
and then fast forward about twothat well, right during the
pandemic I realized, man, whatif you can make an impact on
dental students before they evengot out?
Like, what if you could coachand mentor them?
Hence the title.
The dentist CEO comes into play.
How do I convert a dentistmindset to a CEO mindset Like
(06:12):
how do I help people if I couldcut cause?
We're here to serve.
Let's be real, jason, we're allhere to serve.
If I can make somebody fastforward 15 years and cut 15
years so they become successful,then I really served my calling
.
I've taken the new generationof dentists and I made them that
much better, and I think so.
That was my initial plan.
And then that's where theentrepreneur in mind started
(06:33):
coming in.
I was doing dentistry and I wasliving in my practice, but I was
never working on my practice,so that created the processes
and systems in place that couldkind of function without me.
I developed the leadership teamaround me which in us as
dentists I know this is gonna beshocking we're control freaks.
We all want control.
We had to do it all on our own.
We had to commit to it.
(06:54):
Right, we went through dentalschool, even though you have
people that support you, but inyour mind you gotta solve
everything.
Like somebody's got a problem,you gotta solve it.
And it's a hard mindset, jason,to get out of, because we tend
to look for problems in thingsversus what's right.
Even when you're sounds sillylike, even when you're talking
to your staff, I tend to saywhat's wrong more than what's
right and I have to do a betterjob.
(07:15):
And I said wait a minute, yougotta foot this whole mindset.
So my practice was stagnant foralmost 15 years, did not grow,
not until I changed aboutserving my team more than
serving me and serving mypatients more than serving my
ego did I blow through it andgrew almost $2 million in the
first year.
I did that.
$2 million growth in one yearWow, it's unheard of.
(07:37):
And so then I knew I was ontosomething.
Not that this is some eurekathing.
You're looking at thisconversation like no kidding
dude, you gotta serve people.
Like so many people listen tothis.
We get so caught up in what wewanna do that we're only worried
about us, that we're notlooking at the collateral effect
, if you will, of what happensaround you and maybe that's the
(07:58):
gatekeeper or video which we'regonna touch on later.
But that's what happens.
We get so caught up in ourworld that we forget about
there's other external factorsthat we gotta pay attention to
and how to grow a team.
You grow a team by making themfeel something bigger than what
we are.
You have patients come back toyou because they're a part of
something bigger.
People wanna be a part ofsomething big.
That's why you see the movement, you see all this stuff, you
(08:19):
see the Facebook groups.
They just wanna be a part of abig movement.
Right, podcasts they were hey,I'm a subscriber to this podcast
.
They wanna be a part ofsomething big, something they
love and a race.
But so then the dentist CEOcomes and the entrepreneurs
started coming, because Irealized, hey, at some point I
heard this from Grant Cardon.
Never, I'll never forget whosaid it you need seven streams
of income.
Well, I'm like well, dude, Ionly have one.
(08:39):
Right, like I have one.
So, like, how do I create asituation for my family and how
do I finally be able to stepback at 50 versus grinding,
seeing 20,000 procedures a year?
How do I finally not burn out?
What can you do?
Well, it's time to createpassive income, whether it's
(09:00):
financial planning, openingdifferent franchises.
I own a dental lab.
I started thinking, like anentrepreneur, like what would
you do if you could neverpractice dentistry?
And I started creating wealththat way.
And then, ultimately, now Ijust want to share it.
Now I'm just like you know what?
I don't have it all figured out.
Maybe I'm only a freshman incollege, where you might be an
eighth grade right now with thewhole concept, but I paid a path
(09:23):
that I know works from a guy inFlint, michigan.
Now people like don't know me.
I'm not in some big fancy city,I'm not sitting here where
there's money coming out thewindow.
As a matter of fact, if you go,my average crown I get is $700.
And you're like what I got?
The same amount of crown priceper crown at 21 years ago as I
do today.
So that tells you how patheticit is.
(09:43):
My point is is I've also grownon a practice 20 to 30% every
year since.
So it's not about how muchmoney that comes in.
Yes, it'd be great, but if Ican do it in Flint, I can treat
chain anybody to do it anywhereelse.
I promise you Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Well, that makes sense, right, Because it's your
ideas and your.
The wisdom that you gather doesapply to multiple scenarios.
How is the person going to takethat and apply that to their
context?
Context is everything.
So I know, right, I'm in SouthFlorida and when we're pricing
out, what do I charge fortherapy compared to someone
who's in Atlanta?
Someone's like, oh wow, youcharge a lot more in my in South
(10:20):
Florida than you do in Atlanta.
I'm like, yeah, but you're alsolike eight minutes away from
one of the most wealthiestaffluent neighborhoods in the
town.
Why aren't you charging?
Because proximity is that, butit also just depends on like
that.
That bare wisdom of this worksuniversally.
No matter where you go, everypatient wants to be treated well
.
Every patient wants to betreated like family.
(10:41):
Every patient wants someonewhere they can be proud to say,
hey, I have a doctor, whateverfield it is, a practitioner, a
referral resource that I reallylove and trust.
I want my friends and family tobe going to that person because
I know I'm in good hands.
That's a universal thing and Isee so many people have that
where one of the things that I'mproud of, like, even if a
(11:02):
client is not a fit for me.
I will tell them to call meback after they do their search
if they can find someone, so Ican help them find someone.
If it's anything within an areathat I know about, if it's
something that I'm like listen,I have no clue, I don't know
anything about that I can postit on a Facebook group for you
and I'll do that and then callme, email me in a week or two
(11:22):
and I can tell you what leads Igot.
But I try to do that even forpeople who are not an
appropriate fit or people whothink I'm too expensive and I'll
say, well, let me find yousomebody.
I think there's something to besaid for that.
That's a universal thing, versus, like our office staff being
like nope, sorry, we don't takeyour insurance or no, sorry,
we're booked for the next sixmonths.
You can either wait on ourwaiting list or call someone
else.
Hang up, right?
(11:45):
That just that one little thingmakes such a huge difference,
even if I never work with them.
But they know someone cares.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
And that's what it's about.
Like I mean, there's a lot ofpatients.
I always say, you know, like,at the end of the day, I do a
lot of sleep therapy and I don'tget paid a dime for sleep
therapy, right, but I don't.
There's nothing like, hey, youshouldn't have their sleep study
, hey, we should go here.
And I always laugh at people.
I'm like, they're like, and Isay this right, let's see, the
best thing you could do is tellthem to right, show them the
value you're giving them,without just them assuming they
(12:16):
know the value, right?
Hey, just so you know, I'm onyour team, I'm Dr Grassy Dennell
, and wellness, I'm about wholewellness mindset.
You know, if I need to send youto a shrink, I'm gonna send you
to a shrink.
If I need to do sit here andtalk about Jesus Christ, I'm
gonna sit here and talk aboutJesus Christ.
Like I don't get paid to do allthis stuff.
But with that said, if I serveyou, I mean literally, if we
serve people to a level that'sabove and bigger than us, you're
(12:39):
gonna grow exponentially Notmaybe not always financially,
but emotionally, and you willhave this fire lit in you.
And that's why I always tellpeople like you don't have a
fire lit is because you're notdoing enough.
You don't have a fire lit isbecause you're not sharing you
enough.
You know, every one of us,jason, have a voice.
Every one of us had this giftwithin us to be so powerful.
(13:02):
And I see, even with my familymembers, I'm getting chills.
So maybe there's something elsein the room which is cool, but
I see people not even implyingthe gifts that been given to
them because of fear.
Let's talk about thegatekeepers.
You mentioned the gatekeepersbefore.
If you don't mind, I'm kind of,yeah, let's go.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, it doesn't have to be in any particular order,
sorry.
So you're talking about thegatekeepers fear, judgment and
ego.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
And you know we go in this.
We live in the social mediaworld where if I don't get a
like, somebody doesn't like me.
If I don't, somebody doesn'trespond, I'm gonna hurry up and
take my video down.
Or if I say the truth, say thetruth of how I really feel, I'm
gonna be canceled.
Right.
So we're taught that you canonly say things or do things
that we feel now are sociallyacceptable.
So we suppress all thesepeople's individuality and then
(13:49):
they get depressed and they getanxious and I'll tell people be
you, be exactly who you werecalled to be.
Tell the truth of who you are,because that is what's
ultimately gonna give you thefreedom.
In the Bible it says the trueself sets you free.
Right Come almost prisoners toour own cell phone.
We become prisoners to thewalls that we live in and we're
(14:09):
too afraid to share or say youknow what?
I don't really have much goingon and I'm only 13 years old or
I'm only 18 years old.
There's no way that reallywants to hear from me and it's
just not true.
There's so many people that,just if they would just share
and serve people through graceand love, this whole chaos we
live in would be totally gone.
(14:30):
But they're so worried aboutwhat if somebody judges me?
And if I do this, what if Ifail?
And let's be real, we talkedabout the school systems.
Even in dentistry, we judgepeople on pass and failure.
Not good job, get better, it'slike pass fail.
So if you fail, you can't evenmove on.
(14:50):
Well, that is the biggest lieof all life.
You should fail.
As a matter of fact, I wouldgive you a better shot if you
keep trying and you fail 10times versus your pass at once,
because it's that failure, it'sthat pit you live in in your gut
.
It's that darkness that isultimately going to give you the
answer that you're searchingfor to become better.
Like if you're a therapist andwe talked about this look at all
(15:13):
the therapy sessions you do andI don't know how we got on this
, but I'm speaking to this Jesus, let's go.
So look at all the therapysessions you go through.
They all come in this darknessand if it isn't from this
darkness, you'll never change.
It's the transfer to people canchange.
Like we can be a triangle.
We can move the triangle to theright, we can move the triangle
down, and I'm using my handsright now to show you trying.
(15:33):
We can spin a triangle.
People say that's change.
What you're really looking foris transformation.
How do you no longer?
How do you go from a triangleto a circle?
That's growth.
But you have to fall in thedarkness or that pain point.
And that's why you hear peopleoh, when I lost my dad, I did
this Right.
When my grandpa died, I wentthis way.
When my marriage sucked, I didthis.
(15:54):
When my kids disowned me, Irealized to do this because you
have to fall, and I think we sayfailure like it's a bad thing.
In all reality, failure is agreat thing.
It's a great learning tool,it's a lesson in life and we
need to embrace that.
So that's why you got kids.
People scared to talk, humansscared to talk.
Because what if I say the wrongthing?
What if I fail?
Well then, you're not.
How do you save people?
In dentistry?
My endos never failed, or myroot canals are never failed, or
(16:17):
my crown prep has never failed.
I look right at them likeyou're not doing them, because
that's the biggest lie of alllies they all fail.
What did you learn from it?
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
So anyway, I went out and I think that I think that's
such a.
I think that's an assailantpoint and in my practice, I call
that teachable moments where,one way or the other, every
experience or attempt shouldgive you more of what you want
or point you to what you wantless of.
It's a very distinct experience.
Okay, so you tried that.
(16:45):
What was the common denominatorbetween all the things you're
trying that haven't worked foryou?
And if we can figure out thecommon denominator, it's not the
attempts that you're making,it's the belief you have behind
all the attempts.
If things are working for you,what's the common denominator
about why all these things areworking out for you?
There's a belief, assumptionand expectation underneath that
that's supporting those thingsto get you there.
If you have more things thatare that are moving you forward,
then those are the things youwant to hold on to.
(17:07):
If you have more things thatare holding you back and pushing
you backwards and constantlyshowing up in ways that don't
support or work for you or makeyou feel more connected and
uplifted connected to otherpeople and uplifted and your
inside then maybe there's somebeliefs, assumptions and
expectations you got to dropthere.
And if that's happening overand over again.
Well, why aren't you learningthe teachable moment in that?
Right?
Or what was the teachablemoment in that that you did
(17:28):
learn from?
And that idea of change ortransformation is a huge thing
because, one, the idea of likechange is scary.
Right, going back to what youwere just saying about these
internal, you know thegatekeepers, excuse me, but,
right, if you do talk about thatidea of like, well, I'm not
asking you to change.
Right, it's a transformationwhich is like, just, it sounds
sexier, it sounds a little bitmore exciting and motivated,
(17:49):
right, it's not like.
Oh well, what transforming islike.
You know the butterfly cocoontype of metaphor versus like,
nope, everything about you iswrong and therefore we have to
get rid of that and substitutethat out with completely,
entirely different things of you.
And then that negates all thewonderful things that people
have organically.
It negates all the things thatyou say that you're inherent
traits, but it also doesn'thonor hey, you have an
(18:11):
opportunity to make these thingsthat aren't working for you
better.
But I think that kind of like,you know, leads us into this
idea of like.
You know, we talk about a lot inthe business, entrepreneurship
world and on friends, pivot,right, that was a big scene in
one of the famous friendsepisodes about the pivoting the
memory of Chandler who justpassed.
But this idea of, like,pivoting in your business,
(18:33):
pivoting in your life.
So I'm curious, what does that?
What does pivoting really meanfor you?
Because that's one of thosebuzzwords that's just thrown
around in the entrepreneurshipcircle of the many, many, many.
Maybe that should be a book.
I should write all the BSbuzzwords that entrepreneurs use
, that don't but.
But right.
But pivoting is one of those.
Like you know again, likediamond does them Lulu lemon,
(18:54):
you know cashwords.
So what, what, what doespivoting mean to for you, both
personally and professionally?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I want to answer that , but I got to touch on the
gatekeepers really fast.
So people know that thegatekeepers are not bad.
The gatekeepers, as I call fear, judgment and ego, are a safety
measure for you to be safe.
So it's supposed to enlightensomething from within, saying,
hey, we have a problem here.
Right, if you get, if you feela scarcity mindset or let's say
(19:22):
it's a money thing I'm going touse this as an example and you
realize your burn rates morethan your income rate, like
you're burning more money thanyour income your gatekeepers
going to trigger your anxiety isgoing to come up.
And it's just to give youawareness.
Where people fail is they givethe gatekeepers the power over
them.
So meaning, once they fear,they constrict.
We've all done it, we've all doit and they don't continue to
(19:43):
expand versus ready understandthat there's a problem.
Here comes the pivot transitionUnderstand that there's a
problem, okay, got it.
Thank you, gatekeeper, forbringing this to my attention.
Now, where am I going to pivotto to fix this?
Like, what changes do I nowneed to make to fix this problem
, to come up with a solution?
So pivoting to me is coming upwith a new process, a new system
(20:06):
, or just a new strategy, if youwill, something that might now
be working as you think itshould be working.
So if you're not getting thepatience to come in, or if
you're not getting the resultsthat you're looking for, or
Somebody's not meeting yourexpectations which are all BS
expectations, because we putfake expectations on people and,
best guess time, they don'teven know the expectations we
put on them.
(20:26):
But I digress they don't evenknow that these are expectations
of them because we don'tallocate it.
But pivoting to me is justalmost like when I pitch.
If I'm in the pitchers mode, Iknow I'm supposed to throw it a
home plate, but sometimesthere's a run around first and
so I literally have to look andpivot and I'm looking over my
shoulder.
I gotta pivot and maybe throwit a first.
Sometimes You're just changingthe trajectory of you throwing
(20:49):
the pitch to get a differentoutcome, or you're controlling
the game, if you will.
You're just more controllingthe game and how fast the game
is being played.
So that's kind of what pivotingto me means.
It's just hey, it didn't workright now.
Now the cool thing is is youcould pivot one day and then
repivot back the next day ofwhat you wanted to do the whole
time.
It's just, if something isgrabbing your attention right,
(21:12):
if something is grabbing yourattention and outside noise
grabbing your attention,sometimes you gotta you know,
sometimes you gotta not playthat existing game.
Pivot, handle this over here.
Pivot back and go back to whatneeds to be done.
You're putting out fires, ifyou will, or you're coming up
with a different strategy.
That's what pivot means to me.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah, yeah, and that's really the one of the
things I'm seeing consistentlyis that people do want an
outcome and two things show up.
One, they're not crystal clearwith what that looks like, with
the absence of the things thatare bothering them, and two,
they don't realize that it's alot simpler to get there when
they abandon the tactics thatthey've been using to try to get
(21:52):
there in the first place.
Right, and that idea, I think,from me looking at it, what a
pivot is, is, like I said before, right, it's increasing the
things that are already workingfor you and already serving you
to get what you want, andletting go of the resistance
around the collection of thingsthat aren't getting you the
outcomes, but finding what thecommon denominators are and your
(22:14):
beliefs, assumptions andexpectations about that, and
then completely abandoning anddropping that and just returning
back to the things that areworking for you and applying
that strategy to those otherthings which everybody
organically has and neatly has.
And so I've been leaning moreand more into that idea of what
a pivot could be when, if wejust ask so what is working?
(22:37):
How has that been working?
What are the commondenominating thread?
Right?
What's the thread that holdsthat all together, okay.
So now that we know that, howdo we take that strategy?
And now from that good feelingplace and now take that to solve
a problem?
Because rule number one that Ialways tell my clients is never
solve a problem from a placethat feels like crap, because
you're already in fight orflight, you're already in
(22:57):
survival mode, you're already inan emotional flooding, your
physiology is out of whack andyou're not being strategic and
therefore you can't think fromyour rational brain, which a lot
of this does go back to right.
We talked about the threegatekeepers.
We're talking about pivoting,we're talking about setting
examples and being a leadership.
If we're not in a neutral, slash, proactive state
physiologically, it doesn'tmatter how many yeah, yeah raw
(23:21):
rock conferences we go to, itdoesn't matter for at a 10x
conference or hanging out withGary V or Ned Milet or a CROC or
whatever I mean.
In CROC, we both know wellright Is a force to be reckoned
with and a powerful, positivehuman being.
We can live with CROC for amonth, but unless we do that
inner work, we're only gonna getso much.
(23:41):
And then, of course, what do wedo?
We go to the next conferenceand then we go to the next
conference and the next one'sgonna be the silver bullet and
the next training is gonna bethe silver bullet and the next
coach is gonna be the silverbullet, when it's all that
inside job which leads us tolike this idea of like
loneliness right In this bubbleof maybe this is why we do these
podcasts right.
You have yours and you haveyour coaching and your training
(24:02):
right.
And I just came back from a weekin California and a couple of
days in LA and a five days inSan Diego for an integrative
medicine conference for thisneuro-emotional technique mode
community that I'm part of andit's their 35th anniversary,
which is incredible, that thismodality's been, you know,
really helping so many peoplearound the world and it's
community and it's family andit's as much a homecoming, which
(24:22):
is what they call it.
They didn't call it a 35th yearanniversary, they called it the
35th homecoming, which is such abeautiful title, and it's
practitioners, all medical forall licensed, so therapists and
acupuncturists and chiropractorsand physical therapists and
speech language pathologists,all doing the same thing from
our doorway, around the samemodality, and that's, you know,
(24:47):
something, that when we're homeand we're seeing your people,
there is a level of loneliness.
There is a level of lonelinessof trying to create something
and guide and lead people.
So I'm curious, like just sometips on how, to you know, we
identify it.
We know, especially indentistry, that is unfortunately
, you know, that is a field thathas a lot of struggles because
(25:08):
you're not always interactingwith your clients.
So one it's a one medical fieldwhere you know, obviously minus
a surgeon, where most of thetime you have your clients can't
talk fully back to you, whichmight be a good thing.
But what are some of the tipsthat you would give to someone
when they're in a space ofgrowth, whether it's at work or
at home, and they're feelinglonely, especially when they're
(25:30):
trying to push forward and moveforward in their life?
Speaker 3 (25:34):
I mean, I'm not a therapist, but I've always
believed I okay.
So I have a habit.
I would create rituals orhabits in a day that allow me to
get all the things internallyout.
And so even sometimes I thinkthe number one thing is people
bottle so much stuff in that itbecomes a part of their soul.
When I don't care if somebodyjust has to write in a journal
(25:57):
and say here's all my thoughts,I call it stacking.
So what I do every morning is Imight do a gratitude stack, a
prayer stack, an arranged stacksometimes whatever emotion I'm
feeling, because, like you justsaid, you never make decisions
in a negative state or whateverit is, even in a happy state.
Sometimes you're just like, oh,I'm just good, and you're not
really thinking rashly becauseyou get so excited and you're
(26:18):
like I'm gonna jump out of theplane and then I'll forgot the
parachute, right, but you haveto always.
You gotta kind of control thething.
So I wake up, the first thing Ido is I get movement going.
So I wake up and I'll just showgratitude, because I know that
if I show gratitude it's gonnaat least get my mind right, even
if I'm in a darkness, like it'sso hard.
Like Tony Robbins said this onetime I was nervous when I was
(26:41):
30.
I am the voice, I lead, notfall.
Believe, not doubt, create notdestroy.
I'm a force for good.
I defy the odds of setting newstandards and I step up.
That is the first thing I'vesaid to myself every day.
I wake up, no matter what moodI'm in.
I am the voice I lead, not fall.
Believe, not doubt, create, notdestroy.
I'm a force for good.
I defy the odds of setting newstandards and I step up.
It tricks my mind to say wait aminute.
If you're the voice and you'rea leader, you don't fall like I
(27:02):
have to now show up differently.
Even in that day I had to showup differently.
And then I get all my thoughtsout right and I do my stacking
and then I meditate.
I know people don't, somepeople believe in meditation,
some people don't, but for me,obviously you can tell by my
energy level.
I'm high run, high anxiety guy.
Like I go, like I just go.
I have to have that calmingstate.
As a matter of fact, before Ieven came on with you, I had to
(27:24):
meditate.
I'd go okay, go down andcontrol my emotions, and so that
is step one, I think.
I think that's why therapyworks, that's why I do
podcasting always.
Laughs sometimes is I'll do apodcast and I'll even say on my
podcast yeah, I don't know thisrelates to you, but I have to
get this off my chest becausethis is what I'm thinking.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Like it's something that someone's gonna connect
with it at some point.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I like, like he always say well, why you so
authentic and real, like it's areal, I think, because I'm
living what I'm telling you,like I'm just telling you what I
I'm just telling you, and if ithelped you, great and all
reality is therapy session forme.
But hey, let's do this right,right and so so I think I, I
think it's Getting gettingbecause, let's be honest, we
(28:05):
said leadership is lonely.
There's a lot of people withinyour four walls that you live
with at your house that are notgoing through what you're going
through.
There's a lot of people that donot get it because most of the
time, I've always been theleader, not only in business,
but at my house, as a kid and asmy house at home.
Not like I'm King Bobby, that'snot what I mean.
(28:26):
My wife's my queen, she runs thehouse, but financially and from
a business point of view andall the decisions, it's me, the
kids.
I kind of like her pawn, likeyou go here, you go there.
I love you, babe, I got you,you helped me make decisions.
But we have different roles.
But I don't want to share this.
Sometimes we're so scared tosay the truth, whether it is a
financial crisis or we're.
(28:46):
We don't want to share itbecause we're trying to
eliminate the stress.
So then we deal with it all onourself sure.
So one thing I would say is dealwith it, with the truth.
Like, if you need to talk tosomebody, talk to somebody.
If you need a therapist, be athird, get it.
Find a therapist.
If you need to just write it ona piece of paper, do it.
The worst thing you can do isstop moving.
I was in a really darkness justa month ago, like really just a
(29:08):
month ago.
So many things from sixdifferent businesses felt like
it was caving in.
Right, they weren't.
They weren't because I wasgoing in the Gatekeeper mode and
my emotions were taken in andnow my mind was flipping.
I couldn't solve.
It really was just Giggity,giggity, giggity.
And guess what happened?
Relationship sucked at home,the kids sucked at home.
My relationships at work werewe're faltering.
You know my fitness level, eventhough I was working out was
(29:31):
kind of half-ass, like you knowmy, my place starts between that
.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
That one foot between your head and your heart, right
.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
That's it.
It started unravelingeverything.
I said whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What got you to?
This point ready, pivot.
This is not working.
Stop it.
You got to go back to withinyourself.
And when, jason, when you talkabout working on yourself, I
mean it's so funny to me Peoplewill give you more opinions
about what somebody else isdoing wrong than they ever will
(29:59):
about what they're doing wrong.
Oh yeah, never they'll tellsomebody else how to fix their
life.
But if I said to them you like,why you so much?
I have not missed a workout in101 consecutive days, I know.
I thought no, 101 consecutivedays.
And it's not so that I'm jacked.
It has nothing to do with beingjacked, nothing to do with it.
It's about a commitment levelthat if I'm a health
(30:22):
professional Ready, if I'm ahealth professional, my mind's
got to be right and my body'sgot to be right.
If I tell Jason, I don't wantyou doing XYZ, and they look at
me and I'm not the reflectionthat they want to see, I'm a
fraud.
If they look at my mindset andI don't have a good mindset,
whether I'm blowing upinternally and I don't
communicate that.
I'm a fraud if they, if theycan, everybody can feel energy.
(30:45):
So going back to the leadershipis lonely.
Yes, you got to put so muchwork in all by yourself, all by
yourself, that nobody can do foryou.
They always say nobody can beyour savior.
That is a true comment.
Nobody can be your savior, youmust save yourself.
They can throw you a lightpreserver, they can throw you
(31:05):
something, but at the end of theday you get on.
I'll give you a one moreexample that my daughter says
dad, I don't, I don't know if Iwant to go to dental school,
because what if I only got inbecause you're a dentist?
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
I said, I said.
I said first of all, welcome tothis world.
People open doors for you.
Secondly, just say thank youfor opening the door.
But here's the thing you got torealize I can't take your test.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
I can't do the classes.
We can't do it for someone else, but that's a big problem in
the world where everybody thisis the pandemic of codependency
right, where we step in, wedon't know where we end and
someone else begins.
And then going back to socialmedia and all these things right
, especially you and I weretalking about right now, with
what's going on and this bigrise of conflict and hatred
(31:49):
that's happening right now,people are just overstepping
boundaries left and right and noone knows where they end.
And just through a keyboard,the safety behind a keyboard
Right, especially over the lastfive years let's just put it
into context of the last five toeight years the safety that we
have behind a keyboard is not iskind of like seeing someone
driving in the car and they'repicking their nose without a
(32:10):
tinted, filtered window, butthey think it's the same thing.
We all see you.
That's not what you're doing.
We all know that you don'trealize that you're being gross
or an idiot right now, except onFacebook.
We know your name and we knowyour.
I got a death threat this weekon social media from somebody
who saw something Like you.
Don't think I'm gonna track youdown and post what you did on
(32:31):
LinkedIn and tag you and thenhave it sent out to 2,000 people
and your career is gonna beover.
Like you don't think thatthat's gonna happen.
You're an idiot, right?
People don't think.
People, we don't know where weend.
And someone else begins Likeyou, saying, if someone wanting
someone else to take the testand being in that like, can you
fix this for me?
And they don't even know thatthey're asking for that, because
it's just that setup and thatcontext and the language and the
(32:53):
communication and finding theright people who are willingly
gonna step into that.
You are in a different place nowwhere you're like God, that
sucks, what do you think youneed to do to pass?
Or God, that sucks, what do youthink you need to do to fix
your business?
Versus, I'm gonna come in andfix it for you for free.
That's.
It's all really aboutboundaries, and I think that's
such a really interesting 2023,moving into 2024, if we just
(33:16):
really knew what healthyboundaries were and also said,
like God, that sucks, you'regoing through that.
Who are you talking to?
Who's your therapist?
Who's your business coach?
Who's your mentor?
How much of these things wouldbe solved, right?
Who's helping you and teachingyou how to lead a weekly staff
(33:38):
meeting for your staff?
Who's teaching you how to trainyour office manager?
All of them Right.
All that is is just gettingthat outside influence and stop
doing the things we've always doand did in that regards, and I
think that does lead to likeright.
The loneliness of leadership iswhile we're just doing it from
inside of our head.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
And that's a lot of where we get stuck.
So I want to wrap up just withthis idea of being relentlessly
committed, because you'retalking about the right.
You're like, I've done thismany days working out and this
is what I'm doing with mybusiness and helping other
people's businesses and beingcommitted.
I do want to just put this outthere for people who are
listening A lot of times, andthis is what I'm really you
(34:23):
mentioned Grant Cardone beforeand I'm a big, big fan of the
10X philosophy and the idea thatwe should set a bigger goal and
we're more likely to achievethat bigger goal than if we set
a littler goal, a smaller goal,and because the amount of the
output and the steps to getthere could be the same amount
(34:46):
of effort.
It's just we think about itdifferently.
That's just a wholephilosophical frame of reference
.
What I have found is that peoplehave made their goals.
What they've decided theirgoals are are really just action
steps.
So one of the things that I askis, when they have goals that
are being set okay, so let's saywe solve that then what?
(35:06):
And it's just like I usuallyget no response because whatever
their goal has been has neverbeen able because all these
things they think are holdingthat in place, like, well, that
would be the greatest end, allbe, oh, if I achieve that, well,
okay, but if you did and wemade that an action step, what
would be that an action step?
That's part of what, and thatjust completely changes the
(35:28):
whole conversation, becausethat's so again, right, the idea
that I wanna share with you andlisteners today is like we have
to realize that when we setgoals, 99% of the time they're
usually an action step tosomething that we've never
thought about.
That could be even bigger.
We've made the goal themountain, when the goal is
really just the speed bump.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yes, sir, absolutely.
With that I mean, let me say itreliably.
Let's say you committed to me.
It's like I don't even like theword goals.
I know Grant Cardone uses goalsand I'll tell you why I like
targets.
A target is a laser focus.
A goal is a big, broad picture,right?
So even in dentistry, when Iset goals, everyone said how did
you grow $2 million in one year?
Honestly, there was no plan.
(36:06):
I went to my team, I broke downthe math and I said I wanna be
a $4 million practice in FlintMichigan like doctor.
We're only two, I get it.
I wanna be $4 million.
And so I broke it down by thehour.
I broke it down.
What would you have to produceon the hour?
What would we have to produce aweek?
What would we average?
And then I'd ask my team thisquestion do you think that's
attainable?
Yeah, all right, I already gotbuying this, so that's part of
(36:29):
it, right?
So I already got buying butrelentlessly committed to me the
way that working out andsetting goals and setting
targets, goals and targets arereally to keep you on track when
you're off Like so if you getlost, you just go open up your
goal.
But that's why Grant Cardinalreads him twice a day, writes
him down twice a day.
That's just a discipline.
He just has a discipline ofdoing it.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
It's not really moving.
It's also activating yourneurology to be focused on those
things.
So the exclusion of everythingelse.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Correct.
So like to me when I sayrelentlessly committed, I'm
relentlessly committed to havingit all.
Like having it all.
I'm talking about the best bodyI could possibly have, because
God gave me a weapon.
People are worried aboutvaccines.
They're worried about this pill, this pill.
This pill, this pill, like allthat stuff, is great.
If you need to take the pill,god bless you.
I'm not here to tell you.
I'm not telling you to talkabout a vaccine or anything like
(37:13):
that.
I have my beliefs, you haveyour beliefs.
That's not what this is about.
I also know that we have thebest immune system in the world
if you take care of it right.
So good shit in, good shit out.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Right, keep it simple .
Keep it simple, right, keep itsimple.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
That's simple right.
So if I work out every day, ittrains my mind that you have to
be committed towards your endgoal.
It's something that I can see.
Nobody can do it for me, nobodycan work out for me.
So that's why I start withworking out is because when I
start seeing this change in mybody, which is really slow,
which is really tough for peopleto realize, they want it.
Now, Like it's a slowtransformation, oh yeah.
(37:45):
Slow and it might take you sixmonths, eight months, nine
months, 12 months, whatever itis, to do what you want, right,
and sometimes just screw up andeat the bonbons.
And I only actually own twocrumble cookies and you guys
might laugh like this is adentist that owns a cookie place
.
I know Now, I don't eat thecookies.
I sell the cookies.
That sounds a bit of a spiritto me, but with that said, with
that said, you know, if I eatthat, okay, well, I'm gonna step
(38:06):
back.
So it starts with working outwith me.
Then it's my relationship withChrist and God and meditation in
my mindset and how I get mymind right.
Because if I'm not rightphysically, then I have too much
energy I haven't burned.
I'm gonna take it out on myfamily.
I'm gonna take it out on mypatients.
I'm gonna take it out onsomething I need to burn energy,
which is crazy.
Most people want energy.
I gotta burn some.
(38:27):
I gotta overload with energy.
So that's where the working outclears up my mind, opens up my
space, and people will figureout that, whether it's biking,
running, walking, breathing Justmove, just move Open up your
mind.
So you know, relentlesslycommitted is can you take a half
a step today versus no step?
Like literally, can you justmove today, Like that's the
(38:48):
first part right.
Depression and anxiety.
You know why they havedepression and anxiety they just
don't move.
It's physiologically impossible, physiologically in your body,
impossible, to feel depressed ifyou're working out because it
releases a totally differenthormone.
It's physiologically impossible.
You can still be down but youwon't be as depressed as if
(39:09):
you're.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I also found the same thing is true when you're
listening to Bob Marley.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
I don't listen to Bob Marley, so if someone doesn't
have the physical energy.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Just put on Bob Marley and I promise you right.
I will write a prescription foranyone.
Don't worry about a thing right, I can't legally write
prescriptions, but if you need atherapist note and you're like,
hey, I need to listen to thisat work, I can't.
I can't, you just got me thereyou go, there you go.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
So then you go to balance.
So it mines body being balance.
Balance is family.
I don't care who you are as anentrepreneur, I do not care how
much money you have.
I promise you this there is noway your business is at the
highest level it can be of yourfamily license shit show.
There's no way.
There is no way you can belaser focused in business if you
(39:58):
have to pick up the phonebecause something's wrong with
your kid or you're not steppingup for your kids or your wife's
all upset and you're notconsistent with your marriage
and you don't show up every daywith the energy that you show up
here.
That's one of the biggestmistakes that every entrepreneur
makes, and especially men,especially men.
They think because I make themoney, I should be this.
All that's bullshit.
You need to show up at home.
(40:19):
The same way you show up foryour patients.
You need to show them the valueof your kids.
So balance is huge for me, hugefor me.
And then I know, when I get allthose three in alignment, my
business is easy.
That's easy.
That's easy.
Now, whatever ops I face inbusiness, I've already had the
discipline over here.
So that's what I mean aboutrelentlessly committed.
You got to be relentlesslycommitted to every one of those
(40:42):
aspects in your life, and if youdo that, you'll crush it.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I love it.
So, for everybody who's beenlistening right, I want you to
go check out the dentist CEO.
There's a few differentsections on the website, which
is really, really awesome.
You have the growing with withgrassy, of the grassy mentoring,
grassy Institute, doubling yourrevenue, right?
Is this not just for dentists?
Can other fields also take awaya lot of the you know?
(41:04):
Obviously you're talking a lotof good stuff that is
universally helpful, but is thepractice, the focus of the
mentoring and the coaching andthe business development?
Is that specifically fordentists, or is it for anybody
in the wellness and healthfields as well?
Speaker 3 (41:16):
It's really anybody I look at.
If you're an entrepreneur andyou're really struggling, you're
looking to grow.
Obviously I'm I.
It's like you with a therapist,right you?
It's easier to help out atherapist because you're a
therapist.
It's easy for me to help out adentist because I'm a dentist.
I know the mindset of a dentist, I am the niche, right.
But with that said, it doesn'tmatter who you are, I'm here to
serve.
So it's open to anybody.
If somebody says, hey, I needcoaching, well, let's go, let's
(41:36):
do this Now.
Ideally, I work better withentrepreneurs an entrepreneurial
mindset not necessarily youhave your own business.
There's a mindset that anentrepreneur has which means
they want to grow.
I cannot work with people thatrefuse to grow.
If you won't put the work inlike dude, I'll be honest.
He has no different than thepatients in my practice.
I ain't got no time for it.
If you want to move, if youwant to grind, let's go, so
(41:57):
that's what it is, you know loveit, love it, love it.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
All right.
So everybody check out thatwebsite and then obviously, they
can follow you on Instagram,which all the links are there on
your website as well, andreally again want to thank you
and, obviously, everybody elsewho's been listening to this and
they've benefited from anythingin the show.
Please share it out.
We don't charge anything.
We don't do any marketing oradvertising.
There are some links that youcan lead to some of the books of
(42:21):
you know, the books of peoplewho are authors of our show,
such as yourself, right, and youcan check out some of the
things that we've talked aboutand other things that are in the
link tree that's connected backto this podcast and, like
always, again thank you and welook forward to seeing you in
our next episode.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Thanks for listening to the you Winning Life Podcast.
If you are ready to minimizeyour personal and professional
struggles and maximize yourpotential, we would love it if
you subscribe so you don't missan episode.
You can follow us on Instagramand Facebook at Jason Wasser
LMFT.
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