October 7, 2023 • 46 mins
Are you planning a first dance during your wedding reception with your new husband or wife? One of the wedding industry's finest choreographers and dance instructors, Bud Walters of Your First Dance by Bud Walters, talks with host Kathy Piech-Lukas of Your Dream Day Wedding Planning about how couples can make their first dance extra special on the wedding day.
To listen to more episodes visit www.yourdreamday.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
We are making our own story as we go as we go, as we
go, Hopin' we are, hopin' thatwe'll go.
So ever after, ever after.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hi and welcome to your Dream Day podcast.
I'm Kathy Peach Lucas, yourhost, and today we are going to
be talking about your firstdance with none other than Bud
Walters.
Of your first dance by BudWalters.
That's me Now, bud, how manyyears have you been doing this?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Wedding couples for 40 years.
I've been teaching dance forabout 67 years.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Holy cow, I'm old Holy cow, so, needless to say,
you have a lot of danceexperience.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, and I really feel that that's important,
because you're not restricted bywhat I call a studio regime.
You've got to teach this wayand you can only teach this set
of money lessons if they'vesigned up for so many lessons.
I mean, I've worked for majorstudios for years, but now that
(01:22):
I'm in business for myself.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I can do what I think is necessary.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I can work it to what that person needs, not
everybody thinks the same.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Not everybody learns the same.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Not everybody hears things the same way, so if I
explain it one way, I can lookat them, and I know that they're
not grasping, so I'll explainit a different way.
And finally, some of thosenoodles will stick in the little
container and they get it.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
One thing I would guess you probably see a lot is
you get brides who have takendancing lessons when they were a
child or, you know, in highschool, maybe on their
cheerleading team or dance team.
And then you have the guys whohave never taken a dance lesson
in their life.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Exactly the first thing I tell them, I say okay
your fiance has had 12 years ofballet experience and five years
of hip hop and whatever.
I want you to know that you areboth starting out on the same
foot, Because the thing is isjust because you know how to
play tennis that doesn't meanyou know how to play football.
So the fact that she's had danceexperience, she's going to
(02:35):
learn to follow, you're going tolearn to lead and you're
starting out at the same planeDoes that make you feel better?
They go, oh yeah, becausethey're a little nervous about
it.
Well, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I mean I would be nervous about it because any
dance I've had has beenself-taught and I'm sure it's
all been kind of bad fetish it'sreally my job to make the groom
feel more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
They don't know what to expect.
They're there usually becauseshe said we're going to take
dance lessons Now what would yousay?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
What would you say is the number one reason why
couples take a dance lesson.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Number one they don't want to look foolish out in
front of people.
They don't want to feeluncomfortable in front of people
.
I don't liken it to putting ona show, but still in all, you're
in the middle of the dancefloor, all eyes are on you, and
I've had so many people come andsay, oh, we went to three
weddings this year and all theydid was hang on to each other,
(03:36):
which I call the Frankensteinbutthugger, but they hang on to
each other and rock back andforth for a minute, like in the
seventh grade when you used tohobble back and forth.
I also call that the elevatordance because there's no steps
involved.
And it's just one of thosethings where people say that's
boring and it's likeembarrassing in some cases
(03:57):
because they just don't lookordinated and they look
uncomfortable and it's like it'sa ritual that we have to do.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Well, and when they take that little bit of extra
time, I mean it's also a nicebonding time for the couple.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I've had a couple this week.
Oh, buddy, you mentioned thatSame way.
A couple just wrote a reallynice review and she said that I
took the time to find out whothey were.
And I do.
I ask them you know where doyou work?
Because it helps me to find outhow they think.
Engineers think one way andnurses think another way, and
(04:33):
the nurses are always usually incharge.
That's their job.
So I try to find out a bit morehow they met, how long they've
been living together.
I shouldn't say that, but mostof them are all living together,
and if they're, able topractice and get to know them a
little bit.
On a more personal, level.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
it's not like okay, let's dance, let's learn this.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It's that's too cut and dry and that's too
Intimidating.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Clinical.
I would think it's probablyintimidating too.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I want them to know, I let
them know a little bit about meand my experience so that they
feel a little bit better,because sometimes they just
found me off of, you know,through a referral or whatever,
and they know nothing about asfar as they know they're.
I have a studio in my home and Ialways I laughed a couple of
(05:21):
times and said, for all you know, you were coming to Ted Bundy's
house.
You know, oh, bud, they don'tknow.
They don't know who I am orwhat I've done.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Well, and you bring up an excellent point of how
much of your business comes byreferral.
And you know, I think becauseyour business comes by referral,
people are comfortable going toa home because of that.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
They're.
They're not and I'm certainlynot putting down a major studio.
They all have their advantagesand they have their
disadvantages.
I can only know that fromworking in a major studio, as I
have for a long time.
People feel more comfortablebecause I'm in a, I'm out of my
(06:04):
home.
I have a studio in my home withthe mirrors and the dance floor
and the whole thing, but it's aone on one situation, right,
and I feel like they're therewith five other teachers dancing
around and they're distractedand whatever it's, it's more
comfortable, they're lessnervous.
I can joke around with them.
I have the freedom to feel whothey are and how far can I go
(06:26):
with my joking or whatever?
You know, and sometimes youknow and all of a sudden, you
see the guy on the second lesson.
He really loosens up and mystudent last week wrote on my
calendar we love you, bud.
And I went oh, you put that onmy calendar.
That was so sweet and theyinvited me to their wedding.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Oh, that's amazing.
I try not to go.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I mean, I will go to theirs, yes, but I try not to go
because it makes them nervous.
It's kind of like thesupervisor standing over your
shoulder Right, and I jokinglytold them I will be there, but
you know, I'm not going to bejudging you, I'm not going to be
grading you because you'regoing to do a great job.
I think the thing is is thatwhat my students feel is that
(07:12):
people are out there judgingthem and whatever, and I always
try to say look, guys, you'regoing to be the best out on the
floor because those people whoare watching you didn't take
lessons and my objective for youis to make it look like you
didn't take lessons, right.
And so, therefore, you couldfall down or roll around on the
floor.
They're all friends and they'regoing weren't they wonderful?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
But I'll tell you, when the couple takes the time
to just take a few lessons andlearn movement, just basic
movements, it makes such adifference.
They look so regal becausethey're dressed up, you know, in
their best outfit.
I call it two point O versionof yourself, because it's the
best you're probably ever goingto look in your life, because
(07:58):
you'll be glowing.
You're going to have thisgorgeous dress on, you're going
to have an amazing suit ortuxedo on, and you just come in
with all this confidence andthat confidence attracts all of
your guests and engages all ofthem to watch you, and then
they're enamored by you as acouple.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, I try to tell my students don't dress up for
me because I'm not going todress up for you.
I see the girls probably attheir like.
They look like when they're athome doing the dishes.
They have their hair and theirponytail and they have their
wedding shoes on with whiteanklets and shorts.
Right, that's okay.
All I care about is the shoes.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Oh yes, All I care about and I do ask them and we
can segue again back into that.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Shoes, shoes, shoes, Shoes shoes, shoes, dress, dress
, dress.
You want me to get into thattoday?
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I mean it's.
I mean from a planner'sperspective.
You try to explain to the bride.
You have to remember that whenyou get your dress altered, if
you're wearing four inch heelsdown the aisle and then changing
into flip-flops at thereception, your dress is going
to fall four inches as well,which makes it very, very
(09:10):
challenging not only to justwalk around a reception in
general.
It affects your bustle, itaffects everything.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
It does.
I don't know how many peoplewho I don't mean planned
weddings, but how many peopleactually.
You're the first person I'vereally heard.
That expresses exactly what Itell.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
It's frustrating.
Well, because you know how,like gentlemen get ring around
the collar when they wear theirshirt, well, girls get ring
around the dress, and it's atthe bottom, and it's because
they're dancing all night andthey're they're dragging the
dress.
But the further down the dressgoes, the more likely you are to
trip on it.
You can rip it.
The bustle is gonna give outmore easily depending on what
(09:51):
kind of bustle you have.
If you have a French bustle,those tend to hold a little bit
better.
If you have the eyelet hooks orthe or the, the buttons,
sometimes, if you are one ofthose girls that gets down on
the dance floor, you're gonnaneed a little bit of backup with
a safety pin.
Oh, I have two left feet.
You don't want me teaching?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
for you.
But I take them around thecorner and I just I ask them are
you wearing your hair up ordown?
Are you wearing your veil whenyou dance?
Do you have any restrictions onyour dress?
You know, is it?
You know, and I asked them toshow me.
Now every girl has a picture oftheir dress.
You know 85 of them on theirphone.
So I look at how it's bustled.
(10:31):
I ask them how it's bustled.
I, you know, is it hook?
And I is a button, is it?
Is it turned under and tied,which I think you still call
that a French Bustle?
Yes and good, at least I'mstill up with that.
But you know, and I explainedto them and they tell me that
and I say, well, okay, we wantto make sure that when you get
up to dance, that everything issecure, because if it lets loose
(10:51):
You're gonna be walking allover your dress, you're gonna be
tripping.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
So and.
I talked to them about theirshoes.
I tell them bring a pair ofshoes that are comparable what
you'll be wearing for yourwedding, that's when we get into
discussion.
Well, I'm wearing heels for theceremony, but during the, the
actual reception, I want to becomfortable.
So I'm going to wear sparklykids and I'm going.
Okay, is your dress altered forthe heels or for the kids?
(11:19):
Well, it's all through theheels.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I said leave the heels on for three more minutes,
honey, because it's gonna bedragging on the ground.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Oh, I never thought of that.
That's why we do what we do.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's why we do what we do.
Exactly, I tell me.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
it's your first rodeo , it's my 400th, you know yeah,
or thousand at this point in mylife.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Well, and I think a lot of them don't realize, like
the dress it's almost like aperson on the wedding day.
I mean, when you first find thedress, you know when it's the
dress, because first you put iton and then you start like going
swishing back and forth, thenyou start petting your hips and
your tummy a little bit in themirror, then you don't want to
take it off and then if you'regonna cry, it usually happens so
(11:57):
closely after that.
So you're making a connectionwith that dress, just like you
would make a connection with aperson.
But on the wedding day you haveto dance with the dress, you
have to sit in a limo with thedress, you have to stand at the
altar or underneath the gazeboor wherever it is.
You're having the ceremony withthe dress and your maid or
matron of honor has to fix thedress, because the dress is
(12:19):
always Moving in other places.
And so I mean you really haveto keep in mind that the dress
is just as much of a person onthe wedding Day as as your
fiancee is.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
And keeping on that note, I have had students that
after I have taught them alesson and I talked to them
about their dress or sometimes Iusually talked to them right
away oh, I haven't had analtered yet.
Then they come in on the secondlesson and say oh, by the way,
I have what I call a cowlneckline.
Is that?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
where I.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Can't lift my shoulders, my arms up any higher
than this and you could see thelook on my face.
Okay, there goes all theunderarm turns that we've been
working on and I'm going.
You can hug anybody comfortably.
It's called form versusfunction.
To me it's like okay, you kindof limited yourself here.
(13:09):
It's pretty for, but you'regonna be uncomfortable for the
rest of the evening.
So the dress is, like you said,like a person, a person on
itself, because I tell the guysall the time Never pull on your
bride never like and I alwayssay don't do.
I don't know if I can say that.
Probably Don't do that.
Say it, you're tall, she is not, so if you lift up really high,
(13:36):
you could possibly do what Icall the Janet Jackson dress
malfunction.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Oh boy oh.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
She goes whoops and she does this, and grandma
faints, you're gonna be introuble.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
So no wardrobe malfunction.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
So, I have to make them aware that they can only
lift their arm up so high,according to the girl I mean,
there's so many things that Ithink I cover in Teaching them
to dance and the I know I cansee them.
Their eyes are just overload.
I said I know that you're notexpecting this much information
and they go.
No, we just thought we weregonna learn some dance steps.
(14:15):
I said it's, it's much morethan that.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Absolutely, because if you pull on your bride.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
She's got a pair of you know four or five inch
stilettos on and a 30 pounddress.
You're gonna pull her overgoing down your fault.
I get America's funniest Billy,america's funniest videos,
hundred dollars, thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
You're finders fee.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
There's just so many things that are above and beyond
that I think are necessaryGetting out on the floor?
Where are you coming from?
This is all stuff that Iinclude, not include.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
It's just necessary information.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I find out.
Where are you coming from?
Where is your?
Where is your table?
Do you have a sweetheart table?
Do you have a long table?
You have to walk around thetable.
When are you doing your firstdance?
What are you dancing with yourfather, art?
What's the song that you'redoing?
I have to find out all thatinformation before I can do what
I call a presentation, wherethere is Nothing left to be
(15:15):
desired from the minute they getannounced to the minute they
sit down speaking ofannouncements.
Yeah, I had a DJ tell me a whileback that a Bride, we might say
, turned into Bridezilla yes,that's a common term In the
(15:38):
wedding, this but she went offon him because he didn't
announce them properly.
Oh, that's my biggest pet peevewas evidently a doctor and he
didn't know that.
So I always, and he announced amiss, mr Mrs so oh yes, it's,
doctor, and.
Mrs yes, our doctor, and mryeah it is doctor and mr, but so
(16:03):
anyway, I always ask them haveyou talked to your DJ?
Make sure that they know how youwant to be announced, and this
is the reason why they go well.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
We never even thought about Exactly they don't know,
they don't know, they don't knowand so all those are
preliminaries.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I know that now I've seen In other.
You know you have to know whatyour Competitors are, although
we don't think we really havecompetitors, because no we have
co-op attishin, we all get along.
But the thing is is that I knowwhat they're doing and what I
(16:40):
say, the gimmicks that they'reusing to make it look more
enticing, and I'm going well,I've been doing that all along.
I never thought about tellingpeople that I do it because it's
not a gimmick to me.
I'm there to make you the bestyou can possibly be and give you
as much information as you can.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
You know, one of my favorite things is when the
couple is introduced into thereception and they go right into
their first dance.
That's one of my favoritethings.
What do you?
How do you like it?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oh Well, I have all kinds of things Again.
Here's more you, more details.
All right, what are you doing?
Your first dance, when youfirst walk in the room, after
you cut the cake, after dinnerthose are usually the three most
popular times You're gonnaenter.
If you're gonna do it from whenyou're coming in and here you
I'm sure you've heard thisbefore Well, we want to do it
right away because our guestsare kind of probably be.
(17:29):
We don't want to wait.
Make them wait for dinner.
I'm going.
Aren't you serving our derv's?
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, well, they're not eating.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I have mouth now.
Now nutrition by the time youget there, but if you're coming
in is your wedding party comingin?
Are they coming in prior to you?
Are they coming into specialmusic?
All those things you know?
Are you ditched your veil?
You ditched your flowers.
You're gonna make yourappearance as mr, mrs, you're
gonna stand there for a fewseconds or whatever, and
(17:55):
hootenholler or whatever, butthen and I find out how far do
you have to go from point a toget to your?
I mean, it's, it's almost likedrawing, you know, a map.
It's a schematic.
It's really very interesting.
So I find all of that out.
Make sure that their music isplaying.
I have changed people's songs.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
What?
Before we started no, before westarted recording, we talked
about that, how it's importantfor a couple to have an idea of
what their first dance song willbe, because, in order for you
to properly I don't even want tosay choreograph, because that's
not the word what's the bestword?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm going to go back and say just disregard what you
just said.
Woooo, it's not important forthem to know what their first
song is.
Some people come to me and theyhave no idea what song they're
going to dance to.
Okay, so the reason it's not.
And because I do go over thatwith them, I tell people with a
(19:02):
first contact what song are youdoing?
Well, we don't know yet.
Okay, narrow it down.
Probably probably one of thebiggest fights, other than, did
you do the dishes today?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
My husband and I are still having that one.
It's finding out.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
What song are we going to do?
Narrow it down.
Do we like old songs?
Do we like new songs?
Do we like contemporary music?
Do we want classical music?
Do we want show tunes, countrymusic, what do we want?
And narrow it down from there.
He doesn't like country, shelikes country.
So you have to find a happymedium between the two before
you, otherwise you're going togo bonkers listening to all the
(19:38):
songs.
Let me tell you a very funnyincident I had.
I had a father-daughter come tome and they played their song.
This is a song we want to do.
I don't remember the name ofthe song.
It was a couple years ago and Isaid did you listen to the words
?
Why did you pick this song?
Well, we just like the artistand we like the music and
(20:01):
whatever, and you know it's acountry song and I said do you
realize that in the confines ofthis song it says I can't wait
to get you home tonight, honey,to make love to you and you're
dancing with your daughter.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Okay, that's creepy.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
It's creepy but it's true I mean they're not really
going as much detail as we do.
And I said don't do that song.
I mean that is creepy.
So I run into all kinds ofstuff and I have changed their
song.
I just changed the song just acouple days ago.
The most popular song which Iloved when I was younger is At
(20:44):
Last by Etta James.
Oh yes, that's very popular wehave heard it a thousand times
as long as Perfect by EttaSharon.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yes.
What are some other popularones that you hear quite a bit?
Lately a lot of people aregetting into Frank Sinatra, the
way you look tonight forfather-daughters.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
And I can't name them all.
A lot of countries, countrythings are popular, but I have a
great song, etta James.
If I hear Etta James one moretime I will probably go oh God,
this is almost as boring as thedance.
But I have a version of it byNat King Cole, old standard
(21:25):
artist.
I just changed their song thismorning.
It doesn't make any differencewhat they dance to, but as far
as the tempo for me and we canget into that, I told you I talk
a lot because I love what I do.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I love what I do and you know what I think that's an
important thing is that mostwedding professionals are in
this business because they lovewhat they do and they're
passionate about what they do.
And if we're giving a couple asuggestion, it's not because
we're trying to judge anythingthat they brought to us, because
we legitimately want it to be aperfect day for them and we
(21:59):
want it to be a great day, andthis is what we do.
I mean, I'm close to 300weddings now under my belt.
Wow, good for you.
It's a lot of weddings, buthopefully this is the only one
they're ever going to have, andour intentions are never to make
them look foolish.
It's not my way or the higherway.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Right, exactly, and every wedding is different and
every couple that you meet isdifferent.
They all have differentpersonalities, they all have
different walks of life, theyhave all different occupations,
they all think differently.
And I will say that in mostcases I find that the guy is for
dance lessons is kind of likethere.
(22:38):
And because she said so, when Iget a call on the phone and a
guy calls me, I always say sothis was your job, wasn't?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
it.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I say how did you know?
That I said because when theguy calls me I know she has said
you're going to have to calland make a rate twist for the
dance lessons and you say yeahyou're right.
Then I'll ask him like so whatsong are you doing?
And I hear him go.
I don't tell her that you don'tknow what the song is, because
you're going to be in trouble.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I'm saying it's right up there with forgetting the
anniversary date.
I'm saving you now.
And he went.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Wow, thank you a whole lot for that information,
but it's a very interestingoccupation for me.
I don't like to say that Iteach ballroom dancing.
I am a ballroom dancer, but Idon't teach them to ballroom
dance.
(23:34):
Matter of fact, many years agoI don't even know if you know
this my company's name wasBallroom Dancing by Bud Baldwin.
Yes, I remember I remember Ichanged it and I did change it
from ballroom dancing by BudWolters to your first plug, your
first dance by Bud Wolters.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Probably because it is their first dance and it may
or may not be ballroom, yeah,but ballroom dancing.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I think, with the advent of dancing with the stars
and all this stuff, I think theguys think that that's what
they're going to have to do andit's a little even more
intimidating.
Your first dance is so much ona different level because it
just says more comfortability,right?
So I changed it from ballroomto your first dance Makes
(24:20):
perfect sense.
It made sense to me.
It was a difficult decision tochange, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I changed my logo after 20.
Wow, yes, yes, happy Girl isbeing phased out and we've got a
new logo, and Good for you.
That took a lot.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Which means that we're changing too.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Right, you have all.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
We're growing, we're learning.
I think we're learning.
It's amazing how every time Iteach it, even after 40 years
with wedding couples, but howI'll explain something and I'll
go wow, that really works.
I'm going to have toincorporate that now.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I wish I could say something.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I mean I'm very honest with my students and I
have fun with them and sometimesmaybe they think I'm a little
off color and I'm not, but itmakes them think.
I mean I ask them like how longyou've been living together?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Do you live together?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh, yes, I said so you're both sinners.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
So how long have you been sinning together?
Speaker 2 (25:22):
You know, but if he thinks it makes fun they look at
, he's not a dance instructor,he's a real person who we're
going to be able to enjoy and beable to communicate with.
I don't know if I went back,but it goes back to the couple
that said you know, you take thetime to know who they are.
They feel relaxed.
(25:43):
It helps them bond together alittle bit better because you
know, you say he's the leader,you're the follower, and and you
know I see her roll the eyes Isay, I know you can't handle
that.
However, he's in charge afterthe wedding is over.
You can be in charge again, butright now he learns to lead,
you learn to follow.
I go back to the premise of theold Frank Steinbottiger, as I
(26:08):
called it, showing them how todo a nice dance position, which
is pretty standard all over,making sure that they leave room
for their dress.
My new thing is, which I love,so so leave room for your dress
and Jesus, it's funny.
It's funny, oh, absolutely, andI haven't had anybody that ever
(26:29):
complained about that.
So if you don't believe inJesus, then don't leave room for
it.
But anyway.
So, and teaching them how tomove around the floor and the
guys are always worried aboutkeeping time to music.
Well, if you think about it,you think of songs like at last
by the James.
It's really hard to follow anykind of a beat or anything to
(26:50):
that.
So what I have them do is dancemore to the mood of the music
and just move around the floor.
I have a set, a set steppattern.
They always ask me can we seethis on YouTube?
No, it's something.
I invented many years ago.
No studio teaches it.
It's not structured, it's notchoreography.
I don't believe in choreography.
(27:11):
Are we touching all the baseshere?
Speaker 1 (27:13):
No, I mean like well, before we started recording
this today no, I mean because Ithink I actually use the word
choreography and you're like no,it's not choreography.
And you know from somebody whodid theater for many, many years
, as you do as well, I mean,when you think of dancing, you
think choreography and it isn't.
(27:34):
I mean, you want to go intothat a little bit.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Here's the reason why .
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Well, he'd say well, we would like to have our first
dance choreographed and I'msaying no, you don't.
Here's the reason why If youlearn a series of patterns and
you know, he knows that A iscoming, and then B, and there's
C, and he forgot what D is.
And he went back and did A andyou did D.
(27:59):
You're messed up.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
And he's going to go, oh beep, oh yeah, we're not
going to be able to recoup thisRight.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
We're going to look like we're lost.
So the secret is is to teachthe man to do a series of
patterns, but lead thoseindividuals as different
pictures, as many times as youwant, in any order that you want
.
She learns to follow, he learnsto lead, they learn to dance,
so that they're not onlylearning to dance for their
wedding but they're learning todance for the rest of their life
(28:26):
.
They could go out forever andthere are some things that I
don't recommend that they docertain turns and stuff because
they're a little flashy, but forthe most part they're not going
to get out there and rock backand forth like anybody else.
They're going to look likethey're dancing and that maybe
took lessons.
Maybe I can usually tell whensomebody has taken lessons
(28:47):
because it's very structuredlooking to me and I try hard to
not have that look to it.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
That makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Always a compliment when they say to me well, we had
many people ask us that we tooklessons.
Well, maybe to some studios,that's really a slap on the face
, Not to me.
That's a compliment to me Ifthey look comfortable enough
that they can continue and theylook good.
My acting experience that I'vehad and the model I taught
(29:16):
modeling for a long time.
But I look at that couple as acouple, what they're
representing, and I say, guys,she doesn't realize it, they do
that when they're thinking.
I say you look like you don'thave any teeth on your pictures.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Miss America wears Vaseline on her lips so that her
lips just doesn't stick.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
So you need to learn to smile because whatever you
show up there, your guests aregoing to feel, oh gosh, they
look so uncomfortable, they'renot having a good time.
And I always say, are you twomad at each other?
Do you love each other?
This is the prettiest girl inthe room.
Look at her.
These are things I think arereally important to be the best
(30:01):
presentation they can have.
If you screw up, you don't getdo-overs, you continue on, you
act like you didn't make amistake and go on, isn't?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
that true of any theater program.
I mean, it's almost like you'reteaching a life skill, because
my big thing is ums us, like youknow's drive me bonkers, and so
anytime I have the opportunityto try to break that habit with
somebody, I try, and a lot ofpeople don't realize that
they're saying it, but it's kindof the same thing where you're
(30:31):
almost teaching them a lifeskill.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Absolutely.
That they're going to take withthem for the rest of their
marriage, the rest of theirlives, I would hope so, and I
would like to think that one ofthe life skills is learning to
be able to communicate with eachother.
You're not, I'm not doing thisor you're not doing this without
being angry about it.
(30:52):
I tell my grooms look, she hasto say to you what is called a
frame, which is very importantin dance because it tells the
lady where to go, and it's 50-50.
But she has to tell him becausehe's thinking about what he's
going to do and how's he goingto get her there and his frame
and all that, and all she has todo is say frame.
(31:14):
And that should bring him backto reality.
And I say I don't care if shetells you 65 times while you're
practicing Frame, frame, frame,frame frame.
She's not crabbing at you,she's just telling you that she
doesn't know where to go becauseyour frame is not there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Well, I remember in dirty dancing that Patrick
Swayze, or his character, wasalways saying you know, hold
your frame.
This is my dance space, this isyour dance space.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yes, yes, thank you, yes, I love it.
So you're going to go have towatch it and check it out again.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
I mean, I, you know it is funny that that there's so
many things that you that youfind out that you've been doing
all along and you didn't realize.
Nobody ever taught me to teachthat.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Is that I mean?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I don't.
It's just a life experience,and I think that's what makes me
a little different than therest of the teachers.
I'm not just somebody.
When you come to me, you knowwhat you're going to get.
You know that you're going toget bud Walters, because I'm a
one person show, but if you goto a studio.
You don't know who your teacheris going to be Right.
(32:15):
You don't know if you're goingto like them or not, and I
always say you know, if youdon't like me, I'm old enough
now I'll give you your moneyback and you can leave.
But I don't think that's goingto happen because I feel very
competent with that.
But I can teach you in threelessons completely what you need
to know, which some studios aredoing 10 lessons.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
I was going to say.
I usually hear like a dozen orso from a studio.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
And an incident not too long ago where the, the
young lady, wound up coming tome because the teacher couldn't,
couldn't accommodate them aftershe had gone with them and sent
and called me up because wehave a good relationship with
them and actually I had trainedher, but it was just fine.
(33:00):
So they, they chose not to goto me but to go to her and I was
going, that's fine, I don'tcare, she couldn't accommodate
them, so she sent them back tome and I asked her point blank
why did you go to the otherperson?
I think I have to know thatfrom my own marketing values,
whatever.
Well, because they were cheaper.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Okay, they're $10 less than me.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I can understand that , but I give you one full hour,
and I know that they don't, andalso I know that I can teach you
in three, but they're going toteach you in six.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Did you save any money?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
No, and I have a lot of good reviews.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Well, and it's interesting because with
planners, we deal with that alot.
Oh, because you have such awide range of pricing for
planners and the ones who arelike me, where I'm probably more
in the medium high end.
We're, we've been doing that.
I've been doing this almost 20years.
(33:58):
We're licensed, we're insured,I have a team.
I mean you get, you're buyingmy experience, not to knock
anybody who's been doing it forone or two or three years,
because you know Everybody,everybody, has to start
somewhere.
But they are going to be more,less expensive because they
haven't had to deal with some ofthe I.
(34:21):
I can write a book with all thetrue stories that have happened
on wedding days.
Oh yeah, easily.
And Some of you tell thesestories to friends and family
and they look at you and they'relike what Are you serious?
Because it's almost it's astory that you just can't make
it up.
It's so crazy.
But you have to think on yourfeet, you have to be calm, you
have to be collected, you haveto have a big smile on your face
(34:43):
and you have to figure out asolution of some sort so that
you can keep going through theday.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
And you had to be, you had to be in charge,
absolutely you had to be incharge Absolutely, and so you
know.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
The other thing is and you probably see this too
with the price fluctuation Ifind that some of the people who
are every known then I'll see aplanner on Facebook charging
three hundred dollars per day ofcoordination and One that's not
even minimum wage to they'renot paying their taxes.
Three, they're not insuredbecause you're gonna pay at
(35:15):
least that for insurance, andand there's just that person is
taking on so much liability byby doing it at such a bargain
basement price.
So you know, I tell people justkind of keep that in mind that
you know, if you've got aplanner who's charging you know
A couple thousand dollars for aservice, they do have overhead
expenses that are associatedwith their business Whereas,
(35:36):
like, the person is charging acouple hundred dollars, probably
is doing it on the side, or aswe call them, the weekend
warriors, where you know they doother things besides that but I
get that everybody has andeverybody has a budget, though,
and I get that too so you wantto make sure that the last thing
you want to do is Spend moneyyou don't have.
You know, being in debt is noway to start a marriage, and I
(35:59):
tell people that I'm like do youknow?
Set a budget and stick to it.
There's going to be a vendor inevery price range for whatever
your budget is, and that is moreimportant than you know.
Throwing this party that'sgoing to put you in debt for the
next ten years.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
I think it's really important to for the, the
wedding couples, to do theirresearch and find out who these
people are that you're going tobe dealing with.
And it's like going to a doctor.
We've all gone to a doctor andwent, and that's okay if you
don't like the vendor.
I mean, you know, noteverybody's going to be the same
(36:36):
and I'm sure that not everybodylikes me, but I don't think
that's true, but anyway.
But it's one of those thingswhere they need to do their
research, go and I found thatout.
Say, how did you find me?
How did you find me throughthis medium or that medium?
And did you look at the reviews?
They said, well, we we went andtyped in dance lessons and your
(36:59):
first one came up.
I went well there must besomething to be said for that.
Google is very important.
I love to mention that I guessGoogle, google, google, google,
google you know, and I'mstarting getting the point where
I say you know, I asked forreviews.
I don't know if a lot ofvendors do one person said how
do you?
Get all these five-star reviews.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
I ask.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
I here's my.
Thing.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
I saw.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
I would like to have a review from you.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
I would like to have a five-star review from you.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
if you don't think I'm worth five stars today, tell
me now I'll fix it.
I can't fix it once you'reonline Craving about whatever it
was that I didn't give you,because I can't change it then
right, so that's the way it is.
And they say would you actuallyask them for you actually say
that.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah, oh, I absolutely asked for for
feedback.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I want to know what's right and what's wrong.
Most of the time is just thatthey really had fun.
They learned a lot theirwedding guests really loved what
they did.
If they were glad that theytook the lessons they.
It brought them closer togetheras a couple.
They found out communicationskills that were necessary.
(38:15):
There's so many More thingsthat I think they get out of
that.
It's a date night too.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Oh, that is one thing I tell my couples to do is a
date night.
Yeah, I especially that maybemonth or six weeks before the
wedding, when everybody's comingat you, I tell them you are to
go on a date night and you arenot allowed to say the word
guest list, reception, headcount, catering, photography.
You're not allowed to sayanything regarding your wedding.
(38:43):
This is a timeout.
Just like we give kids atimeout in the corner, you guys
need a timeout too, and you knowif they just go and even just
have dinner and a movie orwhatever it is or come and take
a dance lesson.
Just something that you know getthat removes you from all of
the chaos, because, at the endof the day, when you're getting
(39:03):
married, you're marrying yourbest friend.
Everything else is a party, andif you take a step back and
realize that is why you're doingall of this, that's your rock.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Focus on your rock, lean on your rock, because it's
gonna help you get through allthat stressful time and you know
and what I hear, and and I wishthere was a a Solution for this
.
I always ask the girls and theguys so what do you have to do?
What you know?
How close are you to being done?
(39:33):
And I would say that 90% ofthem, I get them three to four
weeks before their wedding.
Right, I got them in crunchtime, um, and they're.
I've had girls fry.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Therapy sessions, where all vendors are used to
therapy sessions, that's forsure.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I don't teach on the week of their wedding unless
it's absolutely necessary,because they're not focused.
Are you here, are you with meat the moment, or are you
thinking about what your flowersare going to do?
But the 99% of them say wehaven't got our RSVPs back and
I'm so worried about that and alot of them.
That's the biggest complaintthey have.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
And 20% of your guests will not get back to you
one way or the other.
That is totally normal.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Right Just told me last week.
She said I got three weddinginvitations back blank.
They put it back in theenvelope and sent it to me.
I said so they're not coming.
She said I don't know, I don'tknow how many people there are.
I have no idea but, I, know Igot Said well, and they saw me
last week and I I ushered downat the at the air and often I
(40:40):
had my black uniform on myearpiece and she and they were
there.
I dearly love this couple.
There's so much fun and I wasinvited to their wedding, which
is coming up you and she saidyou, you look like a CIA agent.
She said would you stand at mydoor and ask people if they have
turned in their reservation.
(41:01):
I said, yeah, I'm sorry.
And I said, well, you know,here's the way you operate this.
Put a table on the corner andyou tell them I'm sorry, we
didn't get your reservation.
You can sit over there, and ifwe have any food left, we'll be
glad to share it with you.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Well, and you know, when you get your rsvp's, you
have your rsvp date.
I tell them, give them two daysafter the rsvp date is due,
because there are people whohave it on the refrigerator and
they take it down on the dayit's due and drop it in the mail
.
So you have to give them thatlittle benefit of the doubt
buffer.
But if you haven't heard backfrom people one way or the other
(41:38):
, do a follow-up call.
You know, it can be your maidof honor, it can be you, it can
be your, one of your parents.
But you know, find out one wayor the other.
Are they coming?
Because it is possible thatthey sent the rsvp back and the
post office is the one thatdropped the ball and the last
thing you want is to have themshow up and have no place to sit
.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
I'm kind of the last Guy in the totem pole.
I mean, you know, well, wepracticed in our kitchen and
realized that we couldn't dothis.
We need dance lessons.
And we're getting married intwo weeks and of course I always
tell them you know that's alittle ambitious, because you're
like saying I wouldn't know howto play a recital piece on the
(42:17):
piano.
I've never taken piano lessonsbefore and I want to be able to
do a concert instead of in frontof 300 people in one hour
Lesson.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
I'm going like that's unrealistic, yeah, that's not
realistic.
So I always tell them Get.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
They call for the flowers.
Everybody else is all a yearahead.
I want them to get used todoing that with me.
I am booking into october andnovember and I think they think
sometimes it's a come on becauseI say you need to book now.
I have had people Three weeksago.
They're getting married the27th of May.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
We need dance lessons .
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Sorry, I'll teach you on my day off, but it's kind of
gosh you a little bit morebecause I'm off.
This is, I'm opening up thestore for you, right, and you're
not going to have much time topractice and there's only so
much I can teach you in thatamount of time without you being
overwhelmed.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
So what would you recommend?
If a couple is interested inwhen learning how to properly
dance for their first dance, howfar out should they be calling
somebody like you?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Well, first of all and I've changed my wording on
this when you know that you'regetting married let's say in
september, say the first ofseptember you know that you're
going to be taking your lessons,probably about I allow four
weeks, even though they canaccomplish it in three.
People get sick, people have,have life gets in the way you
(43:37):
know life gets in the way.
So I allow them that one weekbuffer.
So they plan four weeks outfrom that.
So you're looking at alreadyaugust or the end of july Now
don't wait till july, becausethose are busy months, although
they don't realize that, butusually we're already booked.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Well, it would be, because the most popular times
of year, in ohio at least, tohave a wedding, or september,
october, may in june, and so ifthose people are learning two to
three months out, it makessense.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Yeah, but I always say that you know, you know,
september is the new june.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Mm-hmm used to be june weddings.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
But if you, if you can figure about four weeks
prior to your wedding, notincluding your wedding date.
That's when you should start,but book Before that keep in
mind that it's like going to adoctor's office.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
You don't just get in tomorrow, because you're called
today.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
It doesn't work that way.
You have to play on head rightand I know that All that gets in
the way and they're not surethey want to do this and you
know it's the last minute thing.
I'm not as important as theflowers, I'm not as important as
the fishing or the venue, butthen all of a sudden, when they
start practicing in theirkitchen, they realize that I'm
(44:48):
pretty important.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Well, on that note, bud, thank you so much for
joining us today.
How can people find you?
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Oh well, uh, they can .
Let's see, they can find methrough my, my website which is
your first dance by bud walters.
They can probably type in budwalters on google and it'll
still come up.
Yeah, I love a lot of goodgoogle reviews and they can go
on the knot and they can findout through the knot.
(45:19):
Word of mouth, ask around.
Surprisingly enough, I've foundit through madira, moms, indian
hill, moms, yelp.
Uh, angie's list.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
I'm going like wow, it's like how do all these
people find me?
They just do because you'reamazing.
But that's how they find youare popular.
Popular, you know.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
But thank you so much for joining us today, talk
about it and they can berealized.
What we have in common,absolutely the problems that we
have.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Thank you so much for joining us to tune into future
podcasts.
Be sure to subscribe and youcan also visit your dream day
dot com to get a list of pastpodcasts and what we have coming
up on the schedule On capypeach lucas.
Thank you so much for watchingor listening.
Happy planning.
We are making our own story as we go as we go, as we
go, Hopin' we are, hopin' thatwe'll go.
So ever after, ever after.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Hi and welcome to your Dream Day podcast.
I'm Kathy Peach Lucas, yourhost, and today we are going to
be talking about your firstdance with none other than Bud
Walters.
Of your first dance by BudWalters.
That's me Now, bud, how manyyears have you been doing this?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Wedding couples for 40 years.
I've been teaching dance forabout 67 years.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Holy cow, I'm old Holy cow, so, needless to say,
you have a lot of danceexperience.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, and I really feel that that's important,
because you're not restricted bywhat I call a studio regime.
You've got to teach this wayand you can only teach this set
of money lessons if they'vesigned up for so many lessons.
I mean, I've worked for majorstudios for years, but now that
(01:22):
I'm in business for myself.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I can do what I think is necessary.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I can work it to what that person needs, not
everybody thinks the same.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Not everybody learns the same.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Not everybody hears things the same way, so if I
explain it one way, I can lookat them, and I know that they're
not grasping, so I'll explainit a different way.
And finally, some of thosenoodles will stick in the little
container and they get it.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
One thing I would guess you probably see a lot is
you get brides who have takendancing lessons when they were a
child or, you know, in highschool, maybe on their
cheerleading team or dance team.
And then you have the guys whohave never taken a dance lesson
in their life.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Exactly the first thing I tell them, I say okay
your fiance has had 12 years ofballet experience and five years
of hip hop and whatever.
I want you to know that you areboth starting out on the same
foot, Because the thing is isjust because you know how to
play tennis that doesn't meanyou know how to play football.
So the fact that she's had danceexperience, she's going to
(02:35):
learn to follow, you're going tolearn to lead and you're
starting out at the same planeDoes that make you feel better?
They go, oh yeah, becausethey're a little nervous about
it.
Well, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I mean I would be nervous about it because any
dance I've had has beenself-taught and I'm sure it's
all been kind of bad fetish it'sreally my job to make the groom
feel more comfortable.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
They don't know what to expect.
They're there usually becauseshe said we're going to take
dance lessons Now what would yousay?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
What would you say is the number one reason why
couples take a dance lesson.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Number one they don't want to look foolish out in
front of people.
They don't want to feeluncomfortable in front of people
.
I don't liken it to putting ona show, but still in all, you're
in the middle of the dancefloor, all eyes are on you, and
I've had so many people come andsay, oh, we went to three
weddings this year and all theydid was hang on to each other,
(03:36):
which I call the Frankensteinbutthugger, but they hang on to
each other and rock back andforth for a minute, like in the
seventh grade when you used tohobble back and forth.
I also call that the elevatordance because there's no steps
involved.
And it's just one of thosethings where people say that's
boring and it's likeembarrassing in some cases
(03:57):
because they just don't lookordinated and they look
uncomfortable and it's like it'sa ritual that we have to do.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Well, and when they take that little bit of extra
time, I mean it's also a nicebonding time for the couple.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I've had a couple this week.
Oh, buddy, you mentioned thatSame way.
A couple just wrote a reallynice review and she said that I
took the time to find out whothey were.
And I do.
I ask them you know where doyou work?
Because it helps me to find outhow they think.
Engineers think one way andnurses think another way, and
(04:33):
the nurses are always usually incharge.
That's their job.
So I try to find out a bit morehow they met, how long they've
been living together.
I shouldn't say that, but mostof them are all living together,
and if they're, able topractice and get to know them a
little bit.
On a more personal, level.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
it's not like okay, let's dance, let's learn this.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It's that's too cut and dry and that's too
Intimidating.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Clinical.
I would think it's probablyintimidating too.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I want them to know, I let
them know a little bit about meand my experience so that they
feel a little bit better,because sometimes they just
found me off of, you know,through a referral or whatever,
and they know nothing about asfar as they know they're.
I have a studio in my home and Ialways I laughed a couple of
(05:21):
times and said, for all you know, you were coming to Ted Bundy's
house.
You know, oh, bud, they don'tknow.
They don't know who I am orwhat I've done.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Well, and you bring up an excellent point of how
much of your business comes byreferral.
And you know, I think becauseyour business comes by referral,
people are comfortable going toa home because of that.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
They're.
They're not and I'm certainlynot putting down a major studio.
They all have their advantagesand they have their
disadvantages.
I can only know that fromworking in a major studio, as I
have for a long time.
People feel more comfortablebecause I'm in a, I'm out of my
(06:04):
home.
I have a studio in my home withthe mirrors and the dance floor
and the whole thing, but it's aone on one situation, right,
and I feel like they're therewith five other teachers dancing
around and they're distractedand whatever it's, it's more
comfortable, they're lessnervous.
I can joke around with them.
I have the freedom to feel whothey are and how far can I go
(06:26):
with my joking or whatever?
You know, and sometimes youknow and all of a sudden, you
see the guy on the second lesson.
He really loosens up and mystudent last week wrote on my
calendar we love you, bud.
And I went oh, you put that onmy calendar.
That was so sweet and theyinvited me to their wedding.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Oh, that's amazing.
I try not to go.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I mean, I will go to theirs, yes, but I try not to go
because it makes them nervous.
It's kind of like thesupervisor standing over your
shoulder Right, and I jokinglytold them I will be there, but
you know, I'm not going to bejudging you, I'm not going to be
grading you because you'regoing to do a great job.
I think the thing is is thatwhat my students feel is that
(07:12):
people are out there judgingthem and whatever, and I always
try to say look, guys, you'regoing to be the best out on the
floor because those people whoare watching you didn't take
lessons and my objective for youis to make it look like you
didn't take lessons, right.
And so, therefore, you couldfall down or roll around on the
floor.
They're all friends and they'regoing weren't they wonderful?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
But I'll tell you, when the couple takes the time
to just take a few lessons andlearn movement, just basic
movements, it makes such adifference.
They look so regal becausethey're dressed up, you know, in
their best outfit.
I call it two point O versionof yourself, because it's the
best you're probably ever goingto look in your life, because
(07:58):
you'll be glowing.
You're going to have thisgorgeous dress on, you're going
to have an amazing suit ortuxedo on, and you just come in
with all this confidence andthat confidence attracts all of
your guests and engages all ofthem to watch you, and then
they're enamored by you as acouple.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, I try to tell my students don't dress up for
me because I'm not going todress up for you.
I see the girls probably attheir like.
They look like when they're athome doing the dishes.
They have their hair and theirponytail and they have their
wedding shoes on with whiteanklets and shorts.
Right, that's okay.
All I care about is the shoes.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Oh yes, All I care about and I do ask them and we
can segue again back into that.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Shoes, shoes, shoes, Shoes shoes, shoes, dress, dress
, dress.
You want me to get into thattoday?
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
I mean it's.
I mean from a planner'sperspective.
You try to explain to the bride.
You have to remember that whenyou get your dress altered, if
you're wearing four inch heelsdown the aisle and then changing
into flip-flops at thereception, your dress is going
to fall four inches as well,which makes it very, very
(09:10):
challenging not only to justwalk around a reception in
general.
It affects your bustle, itaffects everything.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
It does.
I don't know how many peoplewho I don't mean planned
weddings, but how many peopleactually.
You're the first person I'vereally heard.
That expresses exactly what Itell.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
It's frustrating.
Well, because you know how,like gentlemen get ring around
the collar when they wear theirshirt, well, girls get ring
around the dress, and it's atthe bottom, and it's because
they're dancing all night andthey're they're dragging the
dress.
But the further down the dressgoes, the more likely you are to
trip on it.
You can rip it.
The bustle is gonna give outmore easily depending on what
(09:51):
kind of bustle you have.
If you have a French bustle,those tend to hold a little bit
better.
If you have the eyelet hooks orthe or the, the buttons,
sometimes, if you are one ofthose girls that gets down on
the dance floor, you're gonnaneed a little bit of backup with
a safety pin.
Oh, I have two left feet.
You don't want me teaching?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
for you.
But I take them around thecorner and I just I ask them are
you wearing your hair up ordown?
Are you wearing your veil whenyou dance?
Do you have any restrictions onyour dress?
You know, is it?
You know, and I asked them toshow me.
Now every girl has a picture oftheir dress.
You know 85 of them on theirphone.
So I look at how it's bustled.
(10:31):
I ask them how it's bustled.
I, you know, is it hook?
And I is a button, is it?
Is it turned under and tied,which I think you still call
that a French Bustle?
Yes and good, at least I'mstill up with that.
But you know, and I explainedto them and they tell me that
and I say, well, okay, we wantto make sure that when you get
up to dance, that everything issecure, because if it lets loose
(10:51):
You're gonna be walking allover your dress, you're gonna be
tripping.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Oh yes.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
So and.
I talked to them about theirshoes.
I tell them bring a pair ofshoes that are comparable what
you'll be wearing for yourwedding, that's when we get into
discussion.
Well, I'm wearing heels for theceremony, but during the, the
actual reception, I want to becomfortable.
So I'm going to wear sparklykids and I'm going.
Okay, is your dress altered forthe heels or for the kids?
(11:19):
Well, it's all through theheels.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
I said leave the heels on for three more minutes,
honey, because it's gonna bedragging on the ground.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Oh, I never thought of that.
That's why we do what we do.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's why we do what we do.
Exactly, I tell me.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
it's your first rodeo , it's my 400th, you know yeah,
or thousand at this point in mylife.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Well, and I think a lot of them don't realize, like
the dress it's almost like aperson on the wedding day.
I mean, when you first find thedress, you know when it's the
dress, because first you put iton and then you start like going
swishing back and forth, thenyou start petting your hips and
your tummy a little bit in themirror, then you don't want to
take it off and then if you'regonna cry, it usually happens so
(11:57):
closely after that.
So you're making a connectionwith that dress, just like you
would make a connection with aperson.
But on the wedding day you haveto dance with the dress, you
have to sit in a limo with thedress, you have to stand at the
altar or underneath the gazeboor wherever it is.
You're having the ceremony withthe dress and your maid or
matron of honor has to fix thedress, because the dress is
(12:19):
always Moving in other places.
And so I mean you really haveto keep in mind that the dress
is just as much of a person onthe wedding Day as as your
fiancee is.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
And keeping on that note, I have had students that
after I have taught them alesson and I talked to them
about their dress or sometimes Iusually talked to them right
away oh, I haven't had analtered yet.
Then they come in on the secondlesson and say oh, by the way,
I have what I call a cowlneckline.
Is that?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
where I.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Can't lift my shoulders, my arms up any higher
than this and you could see thelook on my face.
Okay, there goes all theunderarm turns that we've been
working on and I'm going.
You can hug anybody comfortably.
It's called form versusfunction.
To me it's like okay, you kindof limited yourself here.
(13:09):
It's pretty for, but you'regonna be uncomfortable for the
rest of the evening.
So the dress is, like you said,like a person, a person on
itself, because I tell the guysall the time Never pull on your
bride never like and I alwayssay don't do.
I don't know if I can say that.
Probably Don't do that.
Say it, you're tall, she is not, so if you lift up really high,
(13:36):
you could possibly do what Icall the Janet Jackson dress
malfunction.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Oh boy oh.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
She goes whoops and she does this, and grandma
faints, you're gonna be introuble.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
So no wardrobe malfunction.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
So, I have to make them aware that they can only
lift their arm up so high,according to the girl I mean,
there's so many things that Ithink I cover in Teaching them
to dance and the I know I cansee them.
Their eyes are just overload.
I said I know that you're notexpecting this much information
and they go.
No, we just thought we weregonna learn some dance steps.
(14:15):
I said it's, it's much morethan that.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Absolutely, because if you pull on your bride.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
She's got a pair of you know four or five inch
stilettos on and a 30 pounddress.
You're gonna pull her overgoing down your fault.
I get America's funniest Billy,america's funniest videos,
hundred dollars, thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
You're finders fee.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
There's just so many things that are above and beyond
that I think are necessaryGetting out on the floor?
Where are you coming from?
This is all stuff that Iinclude, not include.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
It's just necessary information.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I find out.
Where are you coming from?
Where is your?
Where is your table?
Do you have a sweetheart table?
Do you have a long table?
You have to walk around thetable.
When are you doing your firstdance?
What are you dancing with yourfather, art?
What's the song that you'redoing?
I have to find out all thatinformation before I can do what
I call a presentation, wherethere is Nothing left to be
(15:15):
desired from the minute they getannounced to the minute they
sit down speaking ofannouncements.
Yeah, I had a DJ tell me a whileback that a Bride, we might say
, turned into Bridezilla yes,that's a common term In the
(15:38):
wedding, this but she went offon him because he didn't
announce them properly.
Oh, that's my biggest pet peevewas evidently a doctor and he
didn't know that.
So I always, and he announced amiss, mr Mrs so oh yes, it's,
doctor, and.
Mrs yes, our doctor, and mryeah it is doctor and mr, but so
(16:03):
anyway, I always ask them haveyou talked to your DJ?
Make sure that they know how youwant to be announced, and this
is the reason why they go well.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
We never even thought about Exactly they don't know,
they don't know, they don't knowand so all those are
preliminaries.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I know that now I've seen In other.
You know you have to know whatyour Competitors are, although
we don't think we really havecompetitors, because no we have
co-op attishin, we all get along.
But the thing is is that I knowwhat they're doing and what I
(16:40):
say, the gimmicks that they'reusing to make it look more
enticing, and I'm going well,I've been doing that all along.
I never thought about tellingpeople that I do it because it's
not a gimmick to me.
I'm there to make you the bestyou can possibly be and give you
as much information as you can.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
You know, one of my favorite things is when the
couple is introduced into thereception and they go right into
their first dance.
That's one of my favoritethings.
What do you?
How do you like it?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oh Well, I have all kinds of things Again.
Here's more you, more details.
All right, what are you doing?
Your first dance, when youfirst walk in the room, after
you cut the cake, after dinnerthose are usually the three most
popular times You're gonnaenter.
If you're gonna do it from whenyou're coming in and here you
I'm sure you've heard thisbefore Well, we want to do it
right away because our guestsare kind of probably be.
(17:29):
We don't want to wait.
Make them wait for dinner.
I'm going.
Aren't you serving our derv's?
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, well, they're not eating.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
I have mouth now.
Now nutrition by the time youget there, but if you're coming
in is your wedding party comingin?
Are they coming in prior to you?
Are they coming into specialmusic?
All those things you know?
Are you ditched your veil?
You ditched your flowers.
You're gonna make yourappearance as mr, mrs, you're
gonna stand there for a fewseconds or whatever, and
(17:55):
hootenholler or whatever, butthen and I find out how far do
you have to go from point a toget to your?
I mean, it's, it's almost likedrawing, you know, a map.
It's a schematic.
It's really very interesting.
So I find all of that out.
Make sure that their music isplaying.
I have changed people's songs.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
What?
Before we started no, before westarted recording, we talked
about that, how it's importantfor a couple to have an idea of
what their first dance song willbe, because, in order for you
to properly I don't even want tosay choreograph, because that's
not the word what's the bestword?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm going to go back and say just disregard what you
just said.
Woooo, it's not important forthem to know what their first
song is.
Some people come to me and theyhave no idea what song they're
going to dance to.
Okay, so the reason it's not.
And because I do go over thatwith them, I tell people with a
(19:02):
first contact what song are youdoing?
Well, we don't know yet.
Okay, narrow it down.
Probably probably one of thebiggest fights, other than, did
you do the dishes today?
Speaker 1 (19:13):
My husband and I are still having that one.
It's finding out.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
What song are we going to do?
Narrow it down.
Do we like old songs?
Do we like new songs?
Do we like contemporary music?
Do we want classical music?
Do we want show tunes, countrymusic, what do we want?
And narrow it down from there.
He doesn't like country, shelikes country.
So you have to find a happymedium between the two before
you, otherwise you're going togo bonkers listening to all the
(19:38):
songs.
Let me tell you a very funnyincident I had.
I had a father-daughter come tome and they played their song.
This is a song we want to do.
I don't remember the name ofthe song.
It was a couple years ago and Isaid did you listen to the words
?
Why did you pick this song?
Well, we just like the artistand we like the music and
(20:01):
whatever, and you know it's acountry song and I said do you
realize that in the confines ofthis song it says I can't wait
to get you home tonight, honey,to make love to you and you're
dancing with your daughter.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Okay, that's creepy.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
It's creepy but it's true I mean they're not really
going as much detail as we do.
And I said don't do that song.
I mean that is creepy.
So I run into all kinds ofstuff and I have changed their
song.
I just changed the song just acouple days ago.
The most popular song which Iloved when I was younger is At
(20:44):
Last by Etta James.
Oh yes, that's very popular wehave heard it a thousand times
as long as Perfect by EttaSharon.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yes.
What are some other popularones that you hear quite a bit?
Lately a lot of people aregetting into Frank Sinatra, the
way you look tonight forfather-daughters.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
And I can't name them all.
A lot of countries, countrythings are popular, but I have a
great song, etta James.
If I hear Etta James one moretime I will probably go oh God,
this is almost as boring as thedance.
But I have a version of it byNat King Cole, old standard
(21:25):
artist.
I just changed their song thismorning.
It doesn't make any differencewhat they dance to, but as far
as the tempo for me and we canget into that, I told you I talk
a lot because I love what I do.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I love what I do and you know what I think that's an
important thing is that mostwedding professionals are in
this business because they lovewhat they do and they're
passionate about what they do.
And if we're giving a couple asuggestion, it's not because
we're trying to judge anythingthat they brought to us, because
we legitimately want it to be aperfect day for them and we
(21:59):
want it to be a great day, andthis is what we do.
I mean, I'm close to 300weddings now under my belt.
Wow, good for you.
It's a lot of weddings, buthopefully this is the only one
they're ever going to have, andour intentions are never to make
them look foolish.
It's not my way or the higherway.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Right, exactly, and every wedding is different and
every couple that you meet isdifferent.
They all have differentpersonalities, they all have
different walks of life, theyhave all different occupations,
they all think differently.
And I will say that in mostcases I find that the guy is for
dance lessons is kind of likethere.
(22:38):
And because she said so, when Iget a call on the phone and a
guy calls me, I always say sothis was your job, wasn't?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
it.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I say how did you know?
That I said because when theguy calls me I know she has said
you're going to have to calland make a rate twist for the
dance lessons and you say yeahyou're right.
Then I'll ask him like so whatsong are you doing?
And I hear him go.
I don't tell her that you don'tknow what the song is, because
you're going to be in trouble.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I'm saying it's right up there with forgetting the
anniversary date.
I'm saving you now.
And he went.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Wow, thank you a whole lot for that information,
but it's a very interestingoccupation for me.
I don't like to say that Iteach ballroom dancing.
I am a ballroom dancer, but Idon't teach them to ballroom
dance.
(23:34):
Matter of fact, many years agoI don't even know if you know
this my company's name wasBallroom Dancing by Bud Baldwin.
Yes, I remember I remember Ichanged it and I did change it
from ballroom dancing by BudWolters to your first plug, your
first dance by Bud Wolters.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Probably because it is their first dance and it may
or may not be ballroom, yeah,but ballroom dancing.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I think, with the advent of dancing with the stars
and all this stuff, I think theguys think that that's what
they're going to have to do andit's a little even more
intimidating.
Your first dance is so much ona different level because it
just says more comfortability,right?
So I changed it from ballroomto your first dance Makes
(24:20):
perfect sense.
It made sense to me.
It was a difficult decision tochange, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I changed my logo after 20.
Wow, yes, yes, happy Girl isbeing phased out and we've got a
new logo, and Good for you.
That took a lot.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Which means that we're changing too.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Right, you have all.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
We're growing, we're learning.
I think we're learning.
It's amazing how every time Iteach it, even after 40 years
with wedding couples, but howI'll explain something and I'll
go wow, that really works.
I'm going to have toincorporate that now.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I wish I could say something.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I mean I'm very honest with my students and I
have fun with them and sometimesmaybe they think I'm a little
off color and I'm not, but itmakes them think.
I mean I ask them like how longyou've been living together?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Do you live together?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh, yes, I said so you're both sinners.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
So how long have you been sinning together?
Speaker 2 (25:22):
You know, but if he thinks it makes fun they look at
, he's not a dance instructor,he's a real person who we're
going to be able to enjoy and beable to communicate with.
I don't know if I went back,but it goes back to the couple
that said you know, you take thetime to know who they are.
They feel relaxed.
(25:43):
It helps them bond together alittle bit better because you
know, you say he's the leader,you're the follower, and and you
know I see her roll the eyes Isay, I know you can't handle
that.
However, he's in charge afterthe wedding is over.
You can be in charge again, butright now he learns to lead,
you learn to follow.
I go back to the premise of theold Frank Steinbottiger, as I
(26:08):
called it, showing them how todo a nice dance position, which
is pretty standard all over,making sure that they leave room
for their dress.
My new thing is, which I love,so so leave room for your dress
and Jesus, it's funny.
It's funny, oh, absolutely, andI haven't had anybody that ever
(26:29):
complained about that.
So if you don't believe inJesus, then don't leave room for
it.
But anyway.
So, and teaching them how tomove around the floor and the
guys are always worried aboutkeeping time to music.
Well, if you think about it,you think of songs like at last
by the James.
It's really hard to follow anykind of a beat or anything to
(26:50):
that.
So what I have them do is dancemore to the mood of the music
and just move around the floor.
I have a set, a set steppattern.
They always ask me can we seethis on YouTube?
No, it's something.
I invented many years ago.
No studio teaches it.
It's not structured, it's notchoreography.
I don't believe in choreography.
(27:11):
Are we touching all the baseshere?
Speaker 1 (27:13):
No, I mean like well, before we started recording
this today no, I mean because Ithink I actually use the word
choreography and you're like no,it's not choreography.
And you know from somebody whodid theater for many, many years
, as you do as well, I mean,when you think of dancing, you
think choreography and it isn't.
(27:34):
I mean, you want to go intothat a little bit.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Here's the reason why .
Speaker 1 (27:36):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Well, he'd say well, we would like to have our first
dance choreographed and I'msaying no, you don't.
Here's the reason why If youlearn a series of patterns and
you know, he knows that A iscoming, and then B, and there's
C, and he forgot what D is.
And he went back and did A andyou did D.
(27:59):
You're messed up.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
And he's going to go, oh beep, oh yeah, we're not
going to be able to recoup thisRight.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
We're going to look like we're lost.
So the secret is is to teachthe man to do a series of
patterns, but lead thoseindividuals as different
pictures, as many times as youwant, in any order that you want
.
She learns to follow, he learnsto lead, they learn to dance,
so that they're not onlylearning to dance for their
wedding but they're learning todance for the rest of their life
(28:26):
.
They could go out forever andthere are some things that I
don't recommend that they docertain turns and stuff because
they're a little flashy, but forthe most part they're not going
to get out there and rock backand forth like anybody else.
They're going to look likethey're dancing and that maybe
took lessons.
Maybe I can usually tell whensomebody has taken lessons
(28:47):
because it's very structuredlooking to me and I try hard to
not have that look to it.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
That makes perfect sense.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Always a compliment when they say to me well, we had
many people ask us that we tooklessons.
Well, maybe to some studios,that's really a slap on the face
, Not to me.
That's a compliment to me Ifthey look comfortable enough
that they can continue and theylook good.
My acting experience that I'vehad and the model I taught
(29:16):
modeling for a long time.
But I look at that couple as acouple, what they're
representing, and I say, guys,she doesn't realize it, they do
that when they're thinking.
I say you look like you don'thave any teeth on your pictures.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Miss America wears Vaseline on her lips so that her
lips just doesn't stick.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
So you need to learn to smile because whatever you
show up there, your guests aregoing to feel, oh gosh, they
look so uncomfortable, they'renot having a good time.
And I always say, are you twomad at each other?
Do you love each other?
This is the prettiest girl inthe room.
Look at her.
These are things I think arereally important to be the best
(30:01):
presentation they can have.
If you screw up, you don't getdo-overs, you continue on, you
act like you didn't make amistake and go on, isn't?
Speaker 1 (30:07):
that true of any theater program.
I mean, it's almost like you'reteaching a life skill, because
my big thing is ums us, like youknow's drive me bonkers, and so
anytime I have the opportunityto try to break that habit with
somebody, I try, and a lot ofpeople don't realize that
they're saying it, but it's kindof the same thing where you're
(30:31):
almost teaching them a lifeskill.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Absolutely.
That they're going to take withthem for the rest of their
marriage, the rest of theirlives, I would hope so, and I
would like to think that one ofthe life skills is learning to
be able to communicate with eachother.
You're not, I'm not doing thisor you're not doing this without
being angry about it.
(30:52):
I tell my grooms look, she hasto say to you what is called a
frame, which is very importantin dance because it tells the
lady where to go, and it's 50-50.
But she has to tell him becausehe's thinking about what he's
going to do and how's he goingto get her there and his frame
and all that, and all she has todo is say frame.
(31:14):
And that should bring him backto reality.
And I say I don't care if shetells you 65 times while you're
practicing Frame, frame, frame,frame frame.
She's not crabbing at you,she's just telling you that she
doesn't know where to go becauseyour frame is not there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Well, I remember in dirty dancing that Patrick
Swayze, or his character, wasalways saying you know, hold
your frame.
This is my dance space, this isyour dance space.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yes, yes, thank you, yes, I love it.
So you're going to go have towatch it and check it out again.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
I mean, I, you know it is funny that that there's so
many things that you that youfind out that you've been doing
all along and you didn't realize.
Nobody ever taught me to teachthat.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Is that I mean?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
I don't.
It's just a life experience,and I think that's what makes me
a little different than therest of the teachers.
I'm not just somebody.
When you come to me, you knowwhat you're going to get.
You know that you're going toget bud Walters, because I'm a
one person show, but if you goto a studio.
You don't know who your teacheris going to be Right.
(32:15):
You don't know if you're goingto like them or not, and I
always say you know, if youdon't like me, I'm old enough
now I'll give you your moneyback and you can leave.
But I don't think that's goingto happen because I feel very
competent with that.
But I can teach you in threelessons completely what you need
to know, which some studios aredoing 10 lessons.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
I was going to say.
I usually hear like a dozen orso from a studio.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
And an incident not too long ago where the, the
young lady, wound up coming tome because the teacher couldn't,
couldn't accommodate them aftershe had gone with them and sent
and called me up because wehave a good relationship with
them and actually I had trainedher, but it was just fine.
(33:00):
So they, they chose not to goto me but to go to her and I was
going, that's fine, I don'tcare, she couldn't accommodate
them, so she sent them back tome and I asked her point blank
why did you go to the otherperson?
I think I have to know thatfrom my own marketing values,
whatever.
Well, because they were cheaper.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Okay, they're $10 less than me.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I can understand that , but I give you one full hour,
and I know that they don't, andalso I know that I can teach you
in three, but they're going toteach you in six.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Did you save any money?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
No, and I have a lot of good reviews.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Well, and it's interesting because with
planners, we deal with that alot.
Oh, because you have such awide range of pricing for
planners and the ones who arelike me, where I'm probably more
in the medium high end.
We're, we've been doing that.
I've been doing this almost 20years.
(33:58):
We're licensed, we're insured,I have a team.
I mean you get, you're buyingmy experience, not to knock
anybody who's been doing it forone or two or three years,
because you know Everybody,everybody, has to start
somewhere.
But they are going to be more,less expensive because they
haven't had to deal with some ofthe I.
(34:21):
I can write a book with all thetrue stories that have happened
on wedding days.
Oh yeah, easily.
And Some of you tell thesestories to friends and family
and they look at you and they'relike what Are you serious?
Because it's almost it's astory that you just can't make
it up.
It's so crazy.
But you have to think on yourfeet, you have to be calm, you
have to be collected, you haveto have a big smile on your face
(34:43):
and you have to figure out asolution of some sort so that
you can keep going through theday.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
And you had to be, you had to be in charge,
absolutely you had to be incharge Absolutely, and so you
know.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
The other thing is and you probably see this too
with the price fluctuation Ifind that some of the people who
are every known then I'll see aplanner on Facebook charging
three hundred dollars per day ofcoordination and One that's not
even minimum wage to they'renot paying their taxes.
Three, they're not insuredbecause you're gonna pay at
(35:15):
least that for insurance, andand there's just that person is
taking on so much liability byby doing it at such a bargain
basement price.
So you know, I tell people justkind of keep that in mind that
you know, if you've got aplanner who's charging you know
A couple thousand dollars for aservice, they do have overhead
expenses that are associatedwith their business Whereas,
(35:36):
like, the person is charging acouple hundred dollars, probably
is doing it on the side, or aswe call them, the weekend
warriors, where you know they doother things besides that but I
get that everybody has andeverybody has a budget, though,
and I get that too so you wantto make sure that the last thing
you want to do is Spend moneyyou don't have.
You know, being in debt is noway to start a marriage, and I
(35:59):
tell people that I'm like do youknow?
Set a budget and stick to it.
There's going to be a vendor inevery price range for whatever
your budget is, and that is moreimportant than you know.
Throwing this party that'sgoing to put you in debt for the
next ten years.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
I think it's really important to for the, the
wedding couples, to do theirresearch and find out who these
people are that you're going tobe dealing with.
And it's like going to a doctor.
We've all gone to a doctor andwent, and that's okay if you
don't like the vendor.
I mean, you know, noteverybody's going to be the same
(36:36):
and I'm sure that not everybodylikes me, but I don't think
that's true, but anyway.
But it's one of those thingswhere they need to do their
research, go and I found thatout.
Say, how did you find me?
How did you find me throughthis medium or that medium?
And did you look at the reviews?
They said, well, we we went andtyped in dance lessons and your
(36:59):
first one came up.
I went well there must besomething to be said for that.
Google is very important.
I love to mention that I guessGoogle, google, google, google,
google you know, and I'mstarting getting the point where
I say you know, I asked forreviews.
I don't know if a lot ofvendors do one person said how
do you?
Get all these five-star reviews.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
I ask.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
I here's my.
Thing.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
I saw.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
I would like to have a review from you.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
I would like to have a five-star review from you.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
if you don't think I'm worth five stars today, tell
me now I'll fix it.
I can't fix it once you'reonline Craving about whatever it
was that I didn't give you,because I can't change it then
right, so that's the way it is.
And they say would you actuallyask them for you actually say
that.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah, oh, I absolutely asked for for
feedback.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I want to know what's right and what's wrong.
Most of the time is just thatthey really had fun.
They learned a lot theirwedding guests really loved what
they did.
If they were glad that theytook the lessons they.
It brought them closer togetheras a couple.
They found out communicationskills that were necessary.
(38:15):
There's so many More thingsthat I think they get out of
that.
It's a date night too.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Oh, that is one thing I tell my couples to do is a
date night.
Yeah, I especially that maybemonth or six weeks before the
wedding, when everybody's comingat you, I tell them you are to
go on a date night and you arenot allowed to say the word
guest list, reception, headcount, catering, photography.
You're not allowed to sayanything regarding your wedding.
(38:43):
This is a timeout.
Just like we give kids atimeout in the corner, you guys
need a timeout too, and you knowif they just go and even just
have dinner and a movie orwhatever it is or come and take
a dance lesson.
Just something that you know getthat removes you from all of
the chaos, because, at the endof the day, when you're getting
(39:03):
married, you're marrying yourbest friend.
Everything else is a party, andif you take a step back and
realize that is why you're doingall of this, that's your rock.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Focus on your rock, lean on your rock, because it's
gonna help you get through allthat stressful time and you know
and what I hear, and and I wishthere was a a Solution for this
.
I always ask the girls and theguys so what do you have to do?
What you know?
How close are you to being done?
(39:33):
And I would say that 90% ofthem, I get them three to four
weeks before their wedding.
Right, I got them in crunchtime, um, and they're.
I've had girls fry.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Therapy sessions, where all vendors are used to
therapy sessions, that's forsure.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
I don't teach on the week of their wedding unless
it's absolutely necessary,because they're not focused.
Are you here, are you with meat the moment, or are you
thinking about what your flowersare going to do?
But the 99% of them say wehaven't got our RSVPs back and
I'm so worried about that and alot of them.
That's the biggest complaintthey have.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
And 20% of your guests will not get back to you
one way or the other.
That is totally normal.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Right Just told me last week.
She said I got three weddinginvitations back blank.
They put it back in theenvelope and sent it to me.
I said so they're not coming.
She said I don't know, I don'tknow how many people there are.
I have no idea but, I, know Igot Said well, and they saw me
last week and I I ushered downat the at the air and often I
(40:40):
had my black uniform on myearpiece and she and they were
there.
I dearly love this couple.
There's so much fun and I wasinvited to their wedding, which
is coming up you and she saidyou, you look like a CIA agent.
She said would you stand at mydoor and ask people if they have
turned in their reservation.
(41:01):
I said, yeah, I'm sorry.
And I said, well, you know,here's the way you operate this.
Put a table on the corner andyou tell them I'm sorry, we
didn't get your reservation.
You can sit over there, and ifwe have any food left, we'll be
glad to share it with you.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Well, and you know, when you get your rsvp's, you
have your rsvp date.
I tell them, give them two daysafter the rsvp date is due,
because there are people whohave it on the refrigerator and
they take it down on the dayit's due and drop it in the mail
.
So you have to give them thatlittle benefit of the doubt
buffer.
But if you haven't heard backfrom people one way or the other
(41:38):
, do a follow-up call.
You know, it can be your maidof honor, it can be you, it can
be your, one of your parents.
But you know, find out one wayor the other.
Are they coming?
Because it is possible thatthey sent the rsvp back and the
post office is the one thatdropped the ball and the last
thing you want is to have themshow up and have no place to sit
.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
I'm kind of the last Guy in the totem pole.
I mean, you know, well, wepracticed in our kitchen and
realized that we couldn't dothis.
We need dance lessons.
And we're getting married intwo weeks and of course I always
tell them you know that's alittle ambitious, because you're
like saying I wouldn't know howto play a recital piece on the
(42:17):
piano.
I've never taken piano lessonsbefore and I want to be able to
do a concert instead of in frontof 300 people in one hour
Lesson.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
I'm going like that's unrealistic, yeah, that's not
realistic.
So I always tell them Get.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
They call for the flowers.
Everybody else is all a yearahead.
I want them to get used todoing that with me.
I am booking into october andnovember and I think they think
sometimes it's a come on becauseI say you need to book now.
I have had people Three weeksago.
They're getting married the27th of May.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
We need dance lessons .
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Sorry, I'll teach you on my day off, but it's kind of
gosh you a little bit morebecause I'm off.
This is, I'm opening up thestore for you, right, and you're
not going to have much time topractice and there's only so
much I can teach you in thatamount of time without you being
overwhelmed.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
So what would you recommend?
If a couple is interested inwhen learning how to properly
dance for their first dance, howfar out should they be calling
somebody like you?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Well, first of all and I've changed my wording on
this when you know that you'regetting married let's say in
september, say the first ofseptember you know that you're
going to be taking your lessons,probably about I allow four
weeks, even though they canaccomplish it in three.
People get sick, people have,have life gets in the way you
(43:37):
know life gets in the way.
So I allow them that one weekbuffer.
So they plan four weeks outfrom that.
So you're looking at alreadyaugust or the end of july Now
don't wait till july, becausethose are busy months, although
they don't realize that, butusually we're already booked.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Well, it would be, because the most popular times
of year, in ohio at least, tohave a wedding, or september,
october, may in june, and so ifthose people are learning two to
three months out, it makessense.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Yeah, but I always say that you know, you know,
september is the new june.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Mm-hmm used to be june weddings.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
But if you, if you can figure about four weeks
prior to your wedding, notincluding your wedding date.
That's when you should start,but book Before that keep in
mind that it's like going to adoctor's office.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
You don't just get in tomorrow, because you're called
today.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
It doesn't work that way.
You have to play on head rightand I know that All that gets in
the way and they're not surethey want to do this and you
know it's the last minute thing.
I'm not as important as theflowers, I'm not as important as
the fishing or the venue, butthen all of a sudden, when they
start practicing in theirkitchen, they realize that I'm
(44:48):
pretty important.
Speaker 1 (44:52):
Well, on that note, bud, thank you so much for
joining us today.
How can people find you?
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Oh well, uh, they can .
Let's see, they can find methrough my, my website which is
your first dance by bud walters.
They can probably type in budwalters on google and it'll
still come up.
Yeah, I love a lot of goodgoogle reviews and they can go
on the knot and they can findout through the knot.
(45:19):
Word of mouth, ask around.
Surprisingly enough, I've foundit through madira, moms, indian
hill, moms, yelp.
Uh, angie's list.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
I'm going like wow, it's like how do all these
people find me?
They just do because you'reamazing.
But that's how they find youare popular.
Popular, you know.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
But thank you so much for joining us today, talk
about it and they can berealized.
What we have in common,absolutely the problems that we
have.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Thank you so much for joining us to tune into future
podcasts.
Be sure to subscribe and youcan also visit your dream day
dot com to get a list of pastpodcasts and what we have coming
up on the schedule On capypeach lucas.
Thank you so much for watchingor listening.
Happy planning.
Popular Podcasts
1. Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
2. Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
3. Crime Junkie
If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people.