129 | How Hiding Behind Your Financial Security Can Sabotage Your Growth

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Ever feel like the more financially secure you become, the more cautious you get? This feeling is not about being “responsible.” It’s a subtle, sneaky way our nervous system tries to protect us from change, uncertainty, and deeper levels of visibility and growth.

In this episode, I'm exploring how our own financial comfort can impede our growth.  When we’ve built something valuable, we can start playing smaller, saying no to aligned risks, or ignoring our intuition—not because we’re out of alignment, but because we’ve convinced ourselves there’s too much to lose.

You didn’t come here to build security. You came here to express, create, and live a life that stretches you into your fullest potential.

Inside this conversation I discuss:

• How financial security can lead to fear-based decision-making
• Why the nervous system resists expansion once we feel “comfortable”
• Signs you might be hiding behind your wealth
• The difference between protection and alignment
• How to reframe your money as fuel—not a shield—for your next evolution
• A powerful journal prompt to reconnect with your courage and clarity

Want to learn more or connect with me?

Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.

Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.

➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915

Step 2: Grab your FREE Human Design chart

Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?

➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart

Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?

Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.

➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/45-min-call-with-erin)

Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.

From my soul to yours,

Erin

Episode Transcript

Erin Gray (00:00):
Ever noticed how, the more money that you have
allocated and accumulated, themore maybe that you seem or want
to play it safe.
In today's episode, I'm goingto be exploring how financial
comfort can actually keep ussmall and what is truly at risk
when we hide behind our money.
Welcome back to your Money,your Rules.

(00:23):
I am so glad you're here.
I wanted to address this on thepodcast because this is
something that I have actuallyexperienced and I have seen with
some of my clients, so Ithought that if I'm experiencing
it, clients are experiencing it, it's probably worth discussing
.
Many of you would probablyconsider yourself not struggling

(00:43):
when it comes to money.
In fact, you probably arereally comfortable in your life
and you love your life.
Obviously, we could always, youknow, desire, we want and
desire more, but you're probablypretty content and pleased with
what you have created up untilthis point and I want to
celebrate you for having andcreating what you have created.

(01:07):
And I also want to lovinglychallenge or encourage you that
we did not come to planet earthto play small.
We came here to expand to ourbiggest, most vibrant versions
of ourselves and I truly believethat, as I deepen my connection
with God and spirit.
I see that we are all here toexpress ourselves through him.

(01:30):
So today I'm going to besharing my belief on what is
really at risk when we hidebehind our money story and
before we dive in.
If you are listening to thisand you are thinking, yeah, that
she's talking directly to me,then I want to invite you to
schedule a clarity call.
This is exactly some of thework that I do with my clients

(01:52):
untangling the ways that we'reusing our money to stay safe.
We work through building trueemotional capacity to expand
beyond what feels comfortable inour bodies and helping you
create a life that's not justfinancially abundant but deeply
aligned and fulfilling to you.

(02:13):
So if you know that this is inyour heart and this is there
calling you to take action thelink to book is in the show
notes.
You can schedule the time thatworks for you and let's create
some magic together.
Okay, so let's just get down toit.
So what do I actually mean whenI say hiding behind our money?

(02:37):
To me what I have seen formyself and for clients it often
looks like saying no to aninvestment that could possibly
stretch you because you don'twant to mess up what you have
built.
You don't want to use any ofthe money that you currently
have.

(02:58):
You might be staying in abusiness model that it feels
safe to your nervous system, itfeels familiar, but it's not
necessarily lighting you up andit's not a hell yes for you,
because what is really drivingit is fear is that you are
afraid of being seen if youactually do what you really want

(03:23):
to be doing and the impact thatyou're going to create and what
that actually might entail.
It could look like reallydevoting yourself to your
business because you havestories this was me for sure.
We have stories around being aworkaholic.
We have stories around what agood mom does or what a good mom

(03:46):
doesn't do, or what we did ordidn't do with our children when
they were younger.
Several of my clients, you know, have come from that all the
way over, from the other side ofworking so much that we for
lack of a better word ignoredour families, right.
So we don't want to.
We feel like that we're goingto slip back into that versus
devotion to our business and ourcraft, while also having a

(04:12):
thriving, healthy familyrelationship and bond.
Because you feel like that,you're going to do it again,
like you think that, okay, if Ireally devote myself, then what
might happen is I'm going to beright back where I was 10 years
ago and I don't ever want to beat that place again.
Or it might show up like you,not following your intuition,

(04:37):
because what is being asked ofyou makes no sense and the mind
cannot comprehend how it's goingto go, and we're so used to
wanting to feel in control, andso we aren't willing to take
that first step because we don'tknow what it's going to look
like in the end.

(04:58):
And for so many of us as women,we have reached a level of
financial abundance that wedreamt about, and because of
this, the nervous system oftenlikes to say like we have
something to lose now, right, ifwe haven't trained the nervous

(05:19):
system to come from a place ofabundance and sufficiency, if
it's still in that lackmentality, it's going to want to
hold on, it's going to want togrip, it's going to want to
protect everything at all costs,even though that's not
necessarily what you might beconsciously thinking.
And I want you to really ponderwhat is actually on the line

(05:43):
here.
I don't like to use the word atstake, but like what is on the
line, when you avoid going allin, taking risks because you do
have money.
If you have this thought around, I have money to lose you're
often not necessarily protectingyour money.
I think you're protecting youridentity.

(06:06):
You're protecting your sense,your idea of control, of
certainty and how you seeyourself.
And I think that we are sellingourselves short when we do this,
because when we stay small,when we play small, when we stay
hidden, that feels really niceto the nervous system.

(06:29):
It feels familiar, really niceto the nervous system.
It feels familiar.
And it also means that we arenever really going to experience
the vibrancy and expansion thatour soul came here to
experience.
When you're not playing fullout, when you're not going all

(06:49):
in, when you aren't really trulyseeing what you are capable of,
what God wants to actually movethrough you, you're not able to
truly see what, like, our soulscame here to expand, this human
vessel that we have came hereto expand.
And when we are clamping itdown, when we are suppressing it

(07:14):
, when we are thinking that it'snot possible for us, we aren't
fully living the most vibrantlife that we can live.
So I want you to ponder thisreframe Like what if money isn't
something that you hide behind.
What if it's actually your fuel, your best friend and the

(07:49):
support that you are calling inand asking for as you go all in
on yourself, on your business?
You know what if the wealththat you have built is actually
there to support you and giveyou more courage, not caution?
Like what if the point isn't tohoard what you feel like is
your security, but to leverageit into a deeper purpose for

(08:10):
more joy, more impact, morealigned action to your mission
and your calling?
I'm not advocating to use allof your money.
I think that there is thathappy medium, right.
Where is it?
Where we are using the moneythat we have from a place that

(08:33):
keeps us feeling safe and secure, but it's not allowing us to
expand.
So I want you to journal on thisquestion.
If I had no fear of losing whatI have, if I actually was going
to double or triple it, or 10exit or 100 exit, what would I

(08:55):
do next?
Like, not just from a financialstandpoint, but like with your
life, in your business?
And if this question brings updiscomfort and maybe even a
little bit of excitement, likefor me when I'm leaning into
something that I want to do, itfeels definitely exciting and

(09:17):
then the fear comes in and Iwant to encourage you that this
is normal, right.
This is where a lot of us areand where we start it's it's
that burning desire that we haveand also recognizing where the
human wants to come in.

(09:38):
So if you want supportunpacking this, if you want
someone to hold this space foryou, to get honestly curious
about how you might be hidingbehind your money, I would love
to support you.
You can schedule a clarity callby just going to the link in
the show notes, clicking on thelink.
Let's explore what is possiblefor you when you stop allowing

(10:01):
your money to keep you small andstart allowing it to help you
play really, really big and livebig.
Okay, thank you for being here.
I believe in you, I'm rootingfor you and I'll see you in the
next episode.