July 28, 2025 • 15 mins
Got a question? Send me a text.
Ever feel that knot in your stomach when it’s time to talk about your prices or invite someone into your offer?
In this episode, I'm sharing my perspective on what it means to sell, especially for heart-centered women in business. Because selling isn’t about pressure or persuasion. It’s about helping someone say yes to themselves. When you shift your beliefs, perspective and energy around sales, they will stop feeling like a chore and start feeling like an extension of your purpose.
Inside this conversation:
- Why your discomfort around selling is rooted in past conditioning
- How your energy—and your beliefs—impact every sales result
- Reframing selling as sacred service
- Why not offering your services is actually withholding transformation
- How to bring more feminine energy into your sales conversations
- A mindset shift that makes you magnetic
Want to learn more or connect with me?
Step 1: Join my FREE Facebook Community.
Connect, share, and learn how to master your money with other women just like you.
➡️ Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/941450038160915
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Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?
➡️ Get your chart here: https://generatealifewelllived.com/receive-your-human-design-chart
Step 3: Ready to transform your relationship with money and build true financial confidence?
Let’s create a plan that feels aligned, intentional, and empowering—just for you.
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here (https://tidycal.com/eringray/45-min-call-with-erin)
Money doesn't have to feel overwhelming. Let's create a plan that feels nurturing and custom to you.
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast with
me, your host, erin Gray.
Thank you for being here.
Today we're going to be talkingabout a topic that I feel like,
for a lot of women, has themsquirming and feeling a little
bit uncomfortable, and that isselling.
One of the things that I wantthis podcast to bring to you is
(00:24):
not just my personal experience,not just me teaching you, but
also sharing some of theexperiences that I have with
clients, because I know that ifI'm experiencing these topics in
sessions that I have withclients, I'm sure I'm pretty
positive that that existsoutside of my coaching sessions.
And so selling is one of thetopics that has come up recently
(00:50):
and so I thought I would do apodcast on it.
So I think for a lot of women,we have thoughts around selling
because we have been sold tofrom a place of being pushed or
feeling like the sell wasmanipulative or it was sleazy or
uncomfortable, like.
Think about and I'll share mystory about car sales here in a
(01:12):
bit but a lot of us havethoughts around car salesmen.
So when you have thoughtsaround selling that is not from
a place of love and fun andenjoyment and service If it's
coming from.
You know, like I said, pushy,manipulative, sleazy,
uncomfortable, because we arethinking this way.
(01:35):
It will create certain feelingsin our body and it is going to
create a lack of cells, and I amhere to tell you that we need
more of you in the world, notless.
I also don't believe that salesis a strategy.
There's a couple of people thatI have come across in my
podcasting journey and just inbusiness in general, and they
(01:56):
teach sales strategy.
Maybe there might be a placefor that, but that feels very 3D
for me.
I think we really have to startwith the 5D.
What are our thoughts and ourfeelings about sales?
Because I think it's reallyjust a conversation that we are
having with our ideal client orperson that we are serving, and
(02:18):
so you know how you think andfeel about your offering and
your work in the world andshowing up for that and having
those conversations.
That is what is going to createsales or not create sales.
So let's dive in.
Okay, so I want you to thinkabout what are the top three
thoughts that you have that cometo mind initially when I say
(02:41):
selling your product or yourservice, like, pause the podcast
right now.
Write those three thoughts downand then come back and then
we'll dive in.
Okay, so you have your threethoughts written down.
Are they thoughts of or fromthe energy of fun and enjoyment
and connection and love andsufficiency?
(03:04):
Or is it more like it feelsuncomfortable, or it feels like
you're bothering people or youfeel guilty for offering what
you want?
Because if those are thethoughts that you have, you are
going to be creating little orlack of I don't want to say
little or no cells, but lack ofcells.
(03:27):
You know everything is energy.
People feel it.
So maybe you are holding back,talking about the price or
rushing through your offer,maybe you don't even mention it
and people are going to feelthat energy.
My daughter said to me theother day and she likes to mess
with me, she's like mom, peoplecan't feel energy.
(03:47):
And I'm like Grayson everybodysenses energy.
How aware we are of it, that is, you know, the thing to be
debated.
But we all sense energy.
So if you aren't sold on youroffer, if you're not sold on
this is, when I say this is themost amazing thing, I don't mean
(04:08):
it's better than somebodyelse's, I mean this is the most
incredible thing that I ambringing to the world and I am
serving the world.
How can you expect someone elseto be so?
I want to bring in what I calla little bit more feminine
energy on the idea of selling,because many of us have had very
(04:30):
masculine experiences withselling in the past.
Think about a lot of times whatour experience has been with a
car salesman.
Now, like my husband and I havehad very different experiences.
Our thoughts are very different, right, but we have had very
different experiences.
Our thoughts are very different, right, but we have had very
different experiences with carsales.
I have had two.
(04:52):
I think I could really think oftwo people that I have worked
with very closely in purchasingcar sales.
One was for my personal cars Iprobably bought four or five
cars from him and the other onewas when I worked in my family's
construction business and wehad a long-term 10 plus year
relationship, and both of thosemen were, I viewed them as very
(05:15):
trustworthy, forthright, no BS,the price was the price Like.
It wasn't this, you know,bouncing around all this, what
we typically experience with carsales?
Now, my husband, on the otherhand, he has lots of thoughts
and beliefs around car salesmen,and so that has been his
experience right.
He came from the automotiveindustry, the BMW industry.
(05:39):
He has seen it because he hadthat belief right.
So, whatever we believe, we'regoing to find evidence for it
right.
We're going to have thatconfirmation bias because that
is our belief.
We're going to go out there andwe're going to look for the
evidence that supports ourbelief system.
And so he thinks a lot of timesthat car salesmen are sleazy
and they, you know, they try tobe your friend, to make a sale
(06:02):
and just all of these what feelslike a little bit of lower
vibration emotions around carsalesmen.
So, because of our experiencesin our past, if we aren't
changing the way that we thinkand feel about sales moving
forward, we are going to takethat into our own business or
(06:23):
formulate beliefs around thatand be a little bit shy on
selling, because we have had notso pleasant experiences around
being sold to.
And I think that selling issomething that we do all the
time.
Like I sell you all the time onthe podcast on yourself right,
(06:45):
On the beliefs that I have.
I'm selling you on thinkingdifferently about money.
I'm selling you on increasingyour wealth consciousness.
I'm selling you on the idea ofhaving a different mindset when
it comes to money or what yourlife is, what you are able to
have in your life or what you'reable to create.
I'm selling you on the beliefthat your entire experience can
(07:10):
be different by changing the waythat you think and that you
feel than you do right now.
Changing the way that you thinkand that you feel than you do
right now.
I'm selling you on, you know,transforming your nervous system
from one that is in fight andflight and freeze more often to
one that is calm and that isregulated and that is at ease.
(07:31):
And I believe I have the tools,the experience, the embodiment
to help and support you.
And by not by me, not offeringmy support to you, I feel is
doing you a disservice, and Ibelieve that's the way that you
have to start thinking aboutyour product or your service.
(07:52):
You know how are you changingsomeone else's life.
Whether you're a coach or amentor, or you're a yoga teacher
, or you're a spa owner, or asales rep for a custom home
builder, a realtor, likewhatever you and your business
is, you are selling clients ontheir transformation
(08:20):
transformation.
So think about what you arehelping them have by working
with you.
It's not the hour with you,it's not the house, it's not the
facial, it's none of that.
It is the transformation thatthey are going to have by
working with you.
Like, everything we do is for afeeling, and I believe, as
women, when we come from aservant's heart which I haven't
met a woman yet who doesn't havea servant's heart you know,
(08:42):
when we come from that place ofdesire to serve and to give, all
that we're doing is justhelping them get what they want.
Now, sometimes they might notwant what you are offering and
that doesn't mean anything aboutyou.
What you are doing is helpingthem get what they want and have
(09:07):
clarity.
That's all that we're doing.
So I think, as women, we dothis so naturally If we can just
shut out all of the tacticsthat we have been taught and we
really tap into our heart, wetap into spirit, we tap into
love and sufficiency andabundance.
We are natural givers, we loveto help others and that is what
(09:30):
I believe we are doing when weare selling and when you see it.
You know I looked up the wordduty because sometimes I think a
lot of us have thoughts aroundwhat duty means, but when I
looked it up.
It's a moral or a legalobligation or responsibility.
When I think about it, it'slike I have a responsibility to
(09:51):
share with you that you can havea different relationship with
money.
You can have an entirelydifferent business and an
entirely different life.
Like from a responsibilityplace, not as like it feels
heavy, but it feels like I wantto share that with you so that
you know that it's possible andit is already yours if you're
willing to have it.
So when you see it as your dutyto help them solve their, what
(10:15):
their problem is and I don'twant to focus on problem, but
you know what it is that they'recoming to you for and to
transform their life, then theselling doesn't become it's no
longer about you, it's aboutthem.
You're not taking.
I think that so often with saleswe think is like someone's
winning and someone's losing,like it's the same way I was
(10:36):
talking to a client last weekabout lawsuits and it's like
someone has to win and someonehas to lose, like that's what we
have created, which is such alack mentality.
What are like if we both arewinning?
What are we both getting out ofthis by having this experience?
So you're giving them anopportunity.
You're inviting them into a newpossibility, a new way of
(10:57):
thinking, a new way of being.
You know I think about I know Imentioned earlier but, like as
a spa owner, you know like it'san experience.
It's a way that I get to go andelevate my self-concept and
what my standard is, and nomatter if you're a spa owner or
(11:18):
you're a coach or a yoga teacheror whatever I said before it's
you are creating a space forthem to have what they want and
to say yes to what they want.
So ponder this question Do Ibelieve that my work is the best
(11:39):
thing for my client?
And if the answer is yes, thenask yourself what are the
stories and beliefs that I havethat have me not offering it on
a consistent basis?
And I think you know I want togo back to the car sales analogy
, because I think we've beentaught that sales is getting
(12:02):
them to say yes to us, but it'sgetting them to be clear and say
yes to themselves.
Like when I think about a carsalesman if I am going to one
dealership but they don't haveanything that I want to one
dealership but they don't haveanything that I want, that
(12:23):
conversation that they arehaving with me is helping me
become more clear on what I dowant, and I think so many of us
have been taught that sales isgetting them to say yes to me or
to us, right Versus.
It's getting them to say yes tothemselves, and that might look
like working with you orworking with someone else, but
(12:44):
it's getting them to say yes towhat they want and for them to
get more clear on what they want.
And when you come from thatplace of love and sufficiency
and knowing that you can helpthem, and releasing and
sufficiency and knowing that youcan help them and releasing
like I talked about in theprevious episode of releasing
any attachment that we have andjust showing up at the servant's
(13:07):
heart, like, how can we not notsell?
Like, how can we not offer ourservices?
And I think, as women, what weget to do you know I talk about
this fork in the road a lot Ithink we get to change the way
that we have been taught aboutbusiness, about money, about
(13:34):
sales, about connection, aboutconversations, like about all of
it.
Like you get to think aboutsales in a way that serves you,
that serves your clients, thatallows you to show up as your
biggest, brightest self andallows your clients to do that
too.
So think about how do I want tothink about cells, how do I
want to think about what I offerto the world.
(13:55):
So I would highly encourage youto start thinking about cells
and seeing it like the highestform of service that we can do.
You know we are helping peoplegain more clarity to have what
they want, and it is notsomething that is gross, or I
(14:18):
mean even language like that.
Just pay attention to thelanguage that you are using.
That cells is a beautiful thing.
Like when I walk into afurniture store, I want someone
to show me like I have an ideain my mind.
I want them to show me and takeme to the places that I want,
to the couches that I'm lookingat.
(14:39):
So when you think that sales iscoming from a helpful, loving,
sufficient place and they'rehelping you gain more clarity
and that's exactly what you'redoing for your clients, how can
we not want to do that for ourclients and for the world?
And I think it first startswith believing in what you are
offering, and I would startthere.
(15:00):
If you are not 100% sold onwhat you offer, then either do
the work to get to the placewhere you do believe that.
So if that's a self-worth or aself-concept idea that you need
to work on, or if it's actuallyan offer that you're not really
stoked about, then throw thatoffer out and do offer something
(15:20):
that you are in love with.
Okay, that's all I have for youtoday.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast with
me, your host, erin Gray.
Thank you for being here.
Today we're going to be talkingabout a topic that I feel like,
for a lot of women, has themsquirming and feeling a little
bit uncomfortable, and that isselling.
One of the things that I wantthis podcast to bring to you is
(00:24):
not just my personal experience,not just me teaching you, but
also sharing some of theexperiences that I have with
clients, because I know that ifI'm experiencing these topics in
sessions that I have withclients, I'm sure I'm pretty
positive that that existsoutside of my coaching sessions.
And so selling is one of thetopics that has come up recently
(00:50):
and so I thought I would do apodcast on it.
So I think for a lot of women,we have thoughts around selling
because we have been sold tofrom a place of being pushed or
feeling like the sell wasmanipulative or it was sleazy or
uncomfortable, like.
Think about and I'll share mystory about car sales here in a
(01:12):
bit but a lot of us havethoughts around car salesmen.
So when you have thoughtsaround selling that is not from
a place of love and fun andenjoyment and service If it's
coming from.
You know, like I said, pushy,manipulative, sleazy,
uncomfortable, because we arethinking this way.
(01:35):
It will create certain feelingsin our body and it is going to
create a lack of cells, and I amhere to tell you that we need
more of you in the world, notless.
I also don't believe that salesis a strategy.
There's a couple of people thatI have come across in my
podcasting journey and just inbusiness in general, and they
(01:56):
teach sales strategy.
Maybe there might be a placefor that, but that feels very 3D
for me.
I think we really have to startwith the 5D.
What are our thoughts and ourfeelings about sales?
Because I think it's reallyjust a conversation that we are
having with our ideal client orperson that we are serving, and
(02:18):
so you know how you think andfeel about your offering and
your work in the world andshowing up for that and having
those conversations.
That is what is going to createsales or not create sales.
So let's dive in.
Okay, so I want you to thinkabout what are the top three
thoughts that you have that cometo mind initially when I say
(02:41):
selling your product or yourservice, like, pause the podcast
right now.
Write those three thoughts downand then come back and then
we'll dive in.
Okay, so you have your threethoughts written down.
Are they thoughts of or fromthe energy of fun and enjoyment
and connection and love andsufficiency?
(03:04):
Or is it more like it feelsuncomfortable, or it feels like
you're bothering people or youfeel guilty for offering what
you want?
Because if those are thethoughts that you have, you are
going to be creating little orlack of I don't want to say
little or no cells, but lack ofcells.
(03:27):
You know everything is energy.
People feel it.
So maybe you are holding back,talking about the price or
rushing through your offer,maybe you don't even mention it
and people are going to feelthat energy.
My daughter said to me theother day and she likes to mess
with me, she's like mom, peoplecan't feel energy.
(03:47):
And I'm like Grayson everybodysenses energy.
How aware we are of it, that is, you know, the thing to be
debated.
But we all sense energy.
So if you aren't sold on youroffer, if you're not sold on
this is, when I say this is themost amazing thing, I don't mean
(04:08):
it's better than somebodyelse's, I mean this is the most
incredible thing that I ambringing to the world and I am
serving the world.
How can you expect someone elseto be so?
I want to bring in what I calla little bit more feminine
energy on the idea of selling,because many of us have had very
(04:30):
masculine experiences withselling in the past.
Think about a lot of times whatour experience has been with a
car salesman.
Now, like my husband and I havehad very different experiences.
Our thoughts are very different, right, but we have had very
different experiences.
Our thoughts are very different, right, but we have had very
different experiences with carsales.
I have had two.
(04:52):
I think I could really think oftwo people that I have worked
with very closely in purchasingcar sales.
One was for my personal cars Iprobably bought four or five
cars from him and the other onewas when I worked in my family's
construction business and wehad a long-term 10 plus year
relationship, and both of thosemen were, I viewed them as very
(05:15):
trustworthy, forthright, no BS,the price was the price Like.
It wasn't this, you know,bouncing around all this, what
we typically experience with carsales?
Now, my husband, on the otherhand, he has lots of thoughts
and beliefs around car salesmen,and so that has been his
experience right.
He came from the automotiveindustry, the BMW industry.
(05:39):
He has seen it because he hadthat belief right.
So, whatever we believe, we'regoing to find evidence for it
right.
We're going to have thatconfirmation bias because that
is our belief.
We're going to go out there andwe're going to look for the
evidence that supports ourbelief system.
And so he thinks a lot of timesthat car salesmen are sleazy
and they, you know, they try tobe your friend, to make a sale
(06:02):
and just all of these what feelslike a little bit of lower
vibration emotions around carsalesmen.
So, because of our experiencesin our past, if we aren't
changing the way that we thinkand feel about sales moving
forward, we are going to takethat into our own business or
(06:23):
formulate beliefs around thatand be a little bit shy on
selling, because we have had notso pleasant experiences around
being sold to.
And I think that selling issomething that we do all the
time.
Like I sell you all the time onthe podcast on yourself right,
(06:45):
On the beliefs that I have.
I'm selling you on thinkingdifferently about money.
I'm selling you on increasingyour wealth consciousness.
I'm selling you on the idea ofhaving a different mindset when
it comes to money or what yourlife is, what you are able to
have in your life or what you'reable to create.
I'm selling you on the beliefthat your entire experience can
(07:10):
be different by changing the waythat you think and that you
feel than you do right now.
Changing the way that you thinkand that you feel than you do
right now.
I'm selling you on, you know,transforming your nervous system
from one that is in fight andflight and freeze more often to
one that is calm and that isregulated and that is at ease.
(07:31):
And I believe I have the tools,the experience, the embodiment
to help and support you.
And by not by me, not offeringmy support to you, I feel is
doing you a disservice, and Ibelieve that's the way that you
have to start thinking aboutyour product or your service.
(07:52):
You know how are you changingsomeone else's life.
Whether you're a coach or amentor, or you're a yoga teacher
, or you're a spa owner, or asales rep for a custom home
builder, a realtor, likewhatever you and your business
is, you are selling clients ontheir transformation
(08:20):
transformation.
So think about what you arehelping them have by working
with you.
It's not the hour with you,it's not the house, it's not the
facial, it's none of that.
It is the transformation thatthey are going to have by
working with you.
Like, everything we do is for afeeling, and I believe, as
women, when we come from aservant's heart which I haven't
met a woman yet who doesn't havea servant's heart you know,
(08:42):
when we come from that place ofdesire to serve and to give, all
that we're doing is justhelping them get what they want.
Now, sometimes they might notwant what you are offering and
that doesn't mean anything aboutyou.
What you are doing is helpingthem get what they want and have
(09:07):
clarity.
That's all that we're doing.
So I think, as women, we dothis so naturally If we can just
shut out all of the tacticsthat we have been taught and we
really tap into our heart, wetap into spirit, we tap into
love and sufficiency andabundance.
We are natural givers, we loveto help others and that is what
(09:30):
I believe we are doing when weare selling and when you see it.
You know I looked up the wordduty because sometimes I think a
lot of us have thoughts aroundwhat duty means, but when I
looked it up.
It's a moral or a legalobligation or responsibility.
When I think about it, it'slike I have a responsibility to
(09:51):
share with you that you can havea different relationship with
money.
You can have an entirelydifferent business and an
entirely different life.
Like from a responsibilityplace, not as like it feels
heavy, but it feels like I wantto share that with you so that
you know that it's possible andit is already yours if you're
willing to have it.
So when you see it as your dutyto help them solve their, what
(10:15):
their problem is and I don'twant to focus on problem, but
you know what it is that they'recoming to you for and to
transform their life, then theselling doesn't become it's no
longer about you, it's aboutthem.
You're not taking.
I think that so often with saleswe think is like someone's
winning and someone's losing,like it's the same way I was
(10:36):
talking to a client last weekabout lawsuits and it's like
someone has to win and someonehas to lose, like that's what we
have created, which is such alack mentality.
What are like if we both arewinning?
What are we both getting out ofthis by having this experience?
So you're giving them anopportunity.
You're inviting them into a newpossibility, a new way of
(10:57):
thinking, a new way of being.
You know I think about I know Imentioned earlier but, like as
a spa owner, you know like it'san experience.
It's a way that I get to go andelevate my self-concept and
what my standard is, and nomatter if you're a spa owner or
(11:18):
you're a coach or a yoga teacheror whatever I said before it's
you are creating a space forthem to have what they want and
to say yes to what they want.
So ponder this question Do Ibelieve that my work is the best
(11:39):
thing for my client?
And if the answer is yes, thenask yourself what are the
stories and beliefs that I havethat have me not offering it on
a consistent basis?
And I think you know I want togo back to the car sales analogy
, because I think we've beentaught that sales is getting
(12:02):
them to say yes to us, but it'sgetting them to be clear and say
yes to themselves.
Like when I think about a carsalesman if I am going to one
dealership but they don't haveanything that I want to one
dealership but they don't haveanything that I want, that
(12:23):
conversation that they arehaving with me is helping me
become more clear on what I dowant, and I think so many of us
have been taught that sales isgetting them to say yes to me or
to us, right Versus.
It's getting them to say yes tothemselves, and that might look
like working with you orworking with someone else, but
(12:44):
it's getting them to say yes towhat they want and for them to
get more clear on what they want.
And when you come from thatplace of love and sufficiency
and knowing that you can helpthem, and releasing and
sufficiency and knowing that youcan help them and releasing
like I talked about in theprevious episode of releasing
any attachment that we have andjust showing up at the servant's
(13:07):
heart, like, how can we not notsell?
Like, how can we not offer ourservices?
And I think, as women, what weget to do you know I talk about
this fork in the road a lot Ithink we get to change the way
that we have been taught aboutbusiness, about money, about
(13:34):
sales, about connection, aboutconversations, like about all of
it.
Like you get to think aboutsales in a way that serves you,
that serves your clients, thatallows you to show up as your
biggest, brightest self andallows your clients to do that
too.
So think about how do I want tothink about cells, how do I
want to think about what I offerto the world.
(13:55):
So I would highly encourage youto start thinking about cells
and seeing it like the highestform of service that we can do.
You know we are helping peoplegain more clarity to have what
they want, and it is notsomething that is gross, or I
(14:18):
mean even language like that.
Just pay attention to thelanguage that you are using.
That cells is a beautiful thing.
Like when I walk into afurniture store, I want someone
to show me like I have an ideain my mind.
I want them to show me and takeme to the places that I want,
to the couches that I'm lookingat.
(14:39):
So when you think that sales iscoming from a helpful, loving,
sufficient place and they'rehelping you gain more clarity
and that's exactly what you'redoing for your clients, how can
we not want to do that for ourclients and for the world?
And I think it first startswith believing in what you are
offering, and I would startthere.
(15:00):
If you are not 100% sold onwhat you offer, then either do
the work to get to the placewhere you do believe that.
So if that's a self-worth or aself-concept idea that you need
to work on, or if it's actuallyan offer that you're not really
stoked about, then throw thatoffer out and do offer something
(15:20):
that you are in love with.
Okay, that's all I have for youtoday.
I'll see you in the nextepisode.
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