August 25, 2025 • 18 mins
Do you feel guilty when you spend money even when you can afford it? In this episode, I unpack the reasons why we feel money guilt and shame, how your nervous system was conditioned to equate spending with danger, and practical ways to rewire your money mindset.
You’ll learn how childhood money conditioning shaped your nervous system, why guilt has become a default response, and practical tools to rewire your relationship with money circulation.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
- Why guilt and shame around spending are rooted in early money messages
- How your nervous system has been trained to equate spending with danger
- The sneaky way guilt becomes a familiar and an addictive emotional pattern
- Why restricting yourself more isn’t the answer, and what to do instead
- How slowing down and engaging your senses can rewire money patterns
- Simple practices like breathwork, tapping, and supportive self-talk to signal safety
Want to learn more or connect with me?
Step 1: Join my Facebook Community.
Connect, share, and learn how to relate to your money with other women just like you.
➡️ Join here
Step 2: Grab your free Human Design chart
Curious what your Human Design chart reveals about how you're uniquely designed to make aligned financial decisions?
Step 3: Work with Me
Learn how to trust your choices, honor your worth, and feel financial freedom that lives in your body, not just on paper.
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
Are you judging and feeling guilty about when you
circulate and spend your money?
Do you have thoughts likeshould I have spent that, or I
shouldn't have spent that, orwas that irresponsible?
If so, I want you to know thatyou are not the only person that
goes through this.
I know for myself.
I have experienced this.
Other people that I havesupported have experienced this,
(00:20):
and I want you to know that youare not alone.
So today we are going to betalking about why spending, or
what I call circulating yourmoney can activate I like to use
the word activate instead oftrigger can activate so much
shame within your body, and howto actually start enjoying your
money without all of the guilt.
So if this is something that isalready resonating with you and
(00:42):
you're thinking something alongthe lines like, yeah, that that
is me Right, and you've beenlistening to my podcast, if
you're new here, welcome.
If you have been around for awhile and you're like you know
what, I'm ready to take the nextstep I want to invite you to
join me inside my one-on-onecoaching together.
We don't just look at thenumbers.
(01:02):
I think that numbers is such asmall part of actually you know
the money work that we dotogether, we really go deeper,
helping you release those moneystories so that your nervous
system can actually feel safeand abundant, you know, being
able to actually enjoy yourwealth that you have already
(01:23):
created, and creating morewealth from a place of fun and
love and joy.
That is what I'm here to helpyou do.
Like we already know what it'slike to create wealth from.
Like struggle and hustle andwithholding and hoarding.
Like that's not what we're herefor, that's not why God sent us
to this or, you know, sent usto planet earth.
Like that is not the purpose ofthis.
(01:44):
It is to enjoy ourselves whilewe're here.
So if this is something thathas been on your mind and your
heart and you feel like maybeAaron would be a good person to
guide me along the way, I wouldlove to support you and also
feel honored to have thatconversation with you and to
guide you.
So if you're interested, allyou have to do is just click the
link in the show notes and youcan schedule a session for us to
(02:06):
just get to know each other.
I call it a clarity session.
Clarity call discovery, callconsultation, whatever you want
to call it.
It's just an opportunity foryou to share what's on your
heart, and I can also share howI would be able to help you and
what it would look like to worktogether.
So let's talk about guilt andshame, because I think it.
(02:26):
I think it holds a lot of usback and I don't care whether
you are male or female.
It is a lower vibration emotionand it is something that is can
be an addictive emotion.
Dr Joe Dispenza talks aboutthis, and so I'm going to dive
into a little bit about how itcan be an addictive emotion and
(02:46):
how it just keeps us in thiscycle and in this circle of not
enough and also continuing to dothe same thing over and over
again.
So why does spending activateguilt within our nervous systems
?
And I think it is because wefeel judgment right, we are
(03:08):
judging our choices.
You know so.
For so many of us, our earlymoney conditioning like our
parents, who we grew up with,our caretakers, you know we're
tied to a lot of us grew up in avery scarce, lower
consciousness household.
You know it was tied to lackand scarcity.
And a lot of us grew up in avery scarce, lower consciousness
household.
You know it was tied to lackand scarcity and a lot of times,
(03:29):
moral judgment.
You know, I even know, like mydad, he loves computers and he
values computers, and so that iswhere sometimes I say computers
, technology in general, right.
And so there have been times,when I used to work with him in
his company, of where we wouldhave, he would have no problem
(03:50):
spending money on me for a newcomputer, but something that
maybe wasn't computer oriented.
That would be a little bit of aum, I don't want to say stretch
for him, but it definitelywasn't an easy.
Yes, right, it's because ofwhat he valued.
So, you know, if you hadparents that judged how you
wanted to spend money, you know,think about even society.
(04:12):
Now, right, like we judge whatis worth spending our money on
and what isn't right, there isno right or wrong way to spend
or circulate your money.
Spending money is just acircumstance, right, it's based
on.
We spend our money based on ourvalues, you know, and a lot of
us don't have the same values,right?
Somebody might have a value tobuy designer handbags.
(04:35):
It doesn't mean we need tojudge that person, they just
value buying designer handbags.
Someone like me might valuehaving luxurious vacations,
right, we don't need to judge it.
It's just a difference ofvalues and how we want to
circulate our money.
But when we look at how we arespending our money and we're
judging how we're spending ourmoney, that's where things get a
(04:58):
little squirrely and thenthat's where the guilt and the
shame comes up.
So if you grew up hearingthings like that's a waste of
your money or don't waste yourmoney on that, or maybe you
watched a parent, you know Ididn't have this, but I have had
clients and friends tell melike that the moms would like
buy products or buy things andthen would like hide them in the
(05:18):
back of their closet forseveral months, so that when she
actually put it on then it waslike no, I've had it for a long
time, which she is actuallytelling the truth, she has had
it for a long time but it is new, right.
So there is that that isunderlying belief of like shame
around buying something rightand like maybe the friction that
it would have caused with thepartner or the spouse.
(05:39):
So if there was hiding aroundpurchasing things or hiding
between you know your parentsaround how they spend money,
then that can also trickle downto us just by you know your
parents around how they spendmoney, then that can also
trickle down to us just by, youknow, as children, right Up
until they say age seven.
But, like, who knows if that'sactually true, what if it's even
longer than that?
Like everything is just beingbum um coming into our
(06:02):
subconscious and there's nofilter.
So what this has done for us isit has trained our nervous
system, you know, to equatespending on certain things,
right, maybe for fun is not safeor it's being irresponsible.
So, even now that you arefinancially okay on paper, right
(06:24):
, and probably I would say,thriving I mean, if you're
listening to this podcast, youprobably have a computer, you
probably have an iPhone or sometype of phone right, and
probably I would say thriving.
I mean, if you're listening tothis podcast, you probably have
a computer, you probably have aniPhone or some type of phone,
right, so you are thriving.
And your body, though itdoesn't feel that way, right, it
still sends out that, thosefeelings of guilt when you are
spending.
(06:44):
So guilt can be a very habitualfeeling.
You know our bodies are used tofeeling what guilt feels like.
If this is a practiced emotionthat you have, I mean, for me
this was very, this wassomething that I really put some
effort in, because there wasguilt around spending money on
(07:05):
fun and enjoying and not earningmoney.
Because I had so many storiesaround earning money, um, and
that once you earn it then youget to go have fun, versus just
spending money Cause you want toand you or you know money had
to have a purpose, versus I justwant it because I want it.
So if your body is used tofeeling guilt on a consistent
(07:25):
basis and it doesn't feel guilt,then it's going to serve up the
guilt because it's used tofeeling that way.
So it doesn't mean that feelingguilt is correct for us.
It just means that it'sfamiliar and the body loves
familiarity.
So how do we actually startshifting this?
First and foremost, we have tonormalize spending as a healthy
(07:48):
part of money flowing right.
Money is energy, just likeeverything else in life, and
energy is meant to circulate,and so when we are saving or
hoarding for in my case,hoarding money and never
allowing ourselves to enjoy ourwealth, it reinforces to
(08:10):
ourselves that money is unsafe.
It like here you go back to,like it has to have a purpose
right.
Like do you actually believethat money is there for you to
enjoy.
Like I would start there.
Like, what do you believe aboutmoney?
Do you believe it's meant to beenjoyed and to be shared and to
have fun?
Do you believe that it's meantto serve a specific purpose?
(08:31):
Like growing up in my house,like it was totally okay to
spend money on private educationand houses not so much
vacations, not so much on fun,right?
So it just depends on like,what have you grown up believing
?
What are your stories aroundmoney right now and what is its
use and purpose?
(08:54):
So you could start with I alwayssay, like, who is the person
you know, like maybe journalabout, who is the person that
believes that money is meant tobe circulated and enjoyed?
And maybe, if you can't get toenjoying circulating your money
just because and it's fun, maybeget into the place of like what
I call bridge thoughts orsomething like you know,
purchasing something that Ienjoy.
I see other people doing thatand they're a human and I can do
(09:17):
that too.
Like I had to start with someof my beliefs.
I had to start with just like,well, they're a human and I'm a
human.
So, okay, you know, like veryneutral beliefs, not all the way
over, to like abundance If youcan get on board, if your brain
can get on board with.
You know, other people enjoytheir money for fun.
They're human, I'm human.
(09:37):
That's a possibility for me,something like that.
You're going to have to playwith what feels good for you,
but I'll give you a couple morehere.
And then I want you to likeactually take the time and sit
down and journal or write outlike what are some, like one or
two beliefs, right, you don'tneed to come up with this whole
slew of them, but I always say,like, make it easy.
But like I had to use a lot oftimes, like I'm learning to
(10:00):
believe right, or I'm in theprocess of believing that it's
safe to spend money on things Ienjoy.
You know the work for us, theeffort is to not not purchase
something.
That's not growth.
The growth is I'm going topurchase this and I'm going to
feel what the feeling is.
I'm going to feel that guilt,I'm going to feel that shame
bubble up in me and I'm goingand I'm willing to feel this
(10:22):
feeling.
That's where the growth lies.
So, and that is where weactually get to process right.
Like if we are continuing tojust do the same thing over and
over again.
You're actually not reallyhaving to process much emotions
in that regard because it's avery familiar place for you.
So the second thing that I woulddo is really to slow down.
I always encourage clients likelet's even slow down even more.
(10:44):
Right, we think we've sloweddown, but like I think we live
in such a fast society, likelet's slow down even more and
savor it.
So when you rush through yourspending if you are, or maybe
you aren't even spending at all,right, like you're missing out
which I'm not a FOMO person butlike you're literally
withholding that's probably abetter word you are withholding
(11:04):
pleasure and we are pleasurebeings.
Like that is part of gifts thatwe were given is to enjoy our
life here is to feel pleasure inthe body.
Like I always say that money isfor the body.
Like our soul could care less,you know, but on the 3d plane,
like where we live, planet earth, money is for the body.
(11:24):
It is to enjoy and to have funand to share and to like just
enjoy your money.
So you know, let's just usebuying a coffee or what I drink
chai lattes or iced tea.
So there was a time where Iwould be like, well, we don't
need to spend money on, like,really going to coffee places
(11:45):
because we could make it at home, or that's just too much money
or whatever.
My thoughts were back then.
And so, if you are like, thinkof something that will challenge
you a little bit, that'soutside your comfort zone what I
call window of tolerance, andstart doing that.
Right, so I would start takingmyself out for tea and when I
(12:06):
was there, I would first andforemost like acknowledge it.
Right, like I'm so proud of youfor doing this.
This feels a littleuncomfortable, right.
I also noticed the thoughts inmy head and so just really
recognizing, like doing somealways come back to the body,
like we have to teach ournervous system that we are safe.
(12:27):
But one of the ways we do thatis with our breath, and it's not
actually on the inhale, it'sactually on the exhale.
So making your exhale longerthan your inhale inhale, it will
actually activate yourparasympathetic nervous system,
which is all of that rest anddigest, like calmness, versus
the sympathetic which is yourstress.
(12:48):
You know fight or flight.
So really enjoy the purchasethat you made, right, like if
we're going back to the coffeeor the tea example, feeling like
if it's a warm cup of coffee,let's just say if it's a warm
cup of coffee, let's just sayit's a warm cup of coffee.
So you want to tie the, thesenses, into your experience,
right?
So how many senses can youconnect with this experience?
(13:10):
So you're looking at the tea orthe coffee, you are feeling it,
so it might be cold or it mightbe warm.
Um, what are the site or whatare the?
What do you hear in the coffeeshop?
Um, the, the taste of it, justlike truly being present and
like taking it into your body,noticing the smell of it.
Does it have a certain smell?
(13:30):
Did you get like lavender orvanilla or something you know in
your coffee?
Like, really try to bring asmany senses as you can into it,
to take it into the body, right.
And so the more that we do this, the more we normalize this,
the more that we are saying it'ssafe to enjoy this.
You know, like my, my energy, Icall her my energy worker, body
(13:51):
worker, whatever you want tocall it.
Like, a lot of times you cantap on your actual like, think
about where your eyebrows areand just go up a little bit
above.
You can tap there and you cansay things like it's safe to
enjoy this.
You know it's safe to enjoywhat I have generated money with
.
You know, like it's okay tospend my money, it's okay to
(14:13):
circulate my money.
You know I am safe in thismoment because that kind of ties
into back to your nervoussystem and teaching your nervous
system that, teaching yournervous system that you are safe
.
And then the third thing that Iwould do is to watch what your
brain says.
Also, notice what your body isfeeling, right.
Like, so maybe you had alreadymade the decision I just use the
coffee shop as an example butmaybe it's a bigger purchase.
(14:35):
But like, just notice where youmade the decision ahead of time
and then you're in it or youpurchase it, and then maybe
you're looking at your creditcard statement after the fact.
So just notice what are thethoughts that are going through
your mind, right?
So if you hear those repetitivethoughts that you're used to
thinking like, maybe I shouldn'thave done that, or, um, that
(14:58):
was silly of me to purchase, orI shouldn't be spending that
much money, just notice what arethose thoughts, because those
are the thoughts that you wantto start modifying and changing
to be more supportive andempowering for you, right?
So saying things like I chosethis, right, I can trust myself
with money.
Like I was having thisconversation with a client the
other day and we were talkingabout being a good steward of
(15:19):
your money and she was like, oh,I don't feel that yet.
And I was like that's fine, butyou are learning to be a good
steward of your money.
And I gave her, like, severalexamples and she was like, yeah,
I am.
I was like, exactly Right, like, so we have to notice what our
brains are telling us and wehave to intentionally choose
what we want to believe andthink.
Like so often we think we'rethinking, but we're not, we're
(15:41):
just regurgitating thosethoughts that had have already
been to us or you know, tellingus for years and years and years
.
So think about and notice whenthose thoughts come up.
What do you want tointentionally tell yourself?
And I would even start like itdepends on where your awareness
is, but you can start with thatand then move to like
intentionally telling yourselfon purpose, on a, you know,
(16:02):
consistent basis, right, likeI'm choosing this.
I'm trusting myself with moneyor I'm learning to trust myself.
I'm learning to be a goodsteward of my money?
Right, money flows in and out.
Money is energy.
It's meant to circulate, right?
I mean, I had a mentor tell meyou're actually violating the
law when you are hoarding yourmoney.
Like part of money is tocirculate and move.
(16:23):
So I'm allowed to use money ina way that supports me in my
life, right, I'm allowed to usemoney for joy and fun, like it's
safe to use money.
As for joy and fun, like I hadto start there, like I had to
start telling myself it is safeto use money for joy and fun.
So, if this resonates with youand you're tired of feeling that
(16:44):
guilt spiral, shame circle, youknow, um, every time that you
spend or you circulate yourmoney you know this is some of
the work that I do with clients.
So, owning your wealth, owningyour abundance, you know your
bigness in life, like we wereall here to be big, to have and
live this vibrant life.
So releasing those stories thatyour body has been holding onto
(17:07):
all of these years aroundscarcity and lack, so that you
can actually enjoy the life thatyou have and that you're
creating and that you'rebuilding.
I would love to work with you.
All you have to do to schedulea call with me is just go to the
show notes and click on thelink to book and you can find a
good time that works for you.
So I want to say thank youalways for being here, for
(17:28):
spending your time with me.
Remember that money is a toolto support you to live your most
beautiful, vibrant life.
And if your mind wants to arguewith that last sentence, I
invite you to just open it andpeel it back.
Open it up just a little bitand be like well, what if that
were actually true?
What if it were actually truethat I was sent here to enjoy my
(17:49):
life, to enjoy our money andthe money that I have created?
No, I am giving you.
You don't need my permission,but you know you are allowed.
You are meant to enjoy yourmoney.
Okay, I'll see you next time.
Are you judging and feeling guilty about when you
circulate and spend your money?
Do you have thoughts likeshould I have spent that, or I
shouldn't have spent that, orwas that irresponsible?
If so, I want you to know thatyou are not the only person that
goes through this.
I know for myself.
I have experienced this.
Other people that I havesupported have experienced this,
(00:20):
and I want you to know that youare not alone.
So today we are going to betalking about why spending, or
what I call circulating yourmoney can activate I like to use
the word activate instead oftrigger can activate so much
shame within your body, and howto actually start enjoying your
money without all of the guilt.
So if this is something that isalready resonating with you and
(00:42):
you're thinking something alongthe lines like, yeah, that that
is me Right, and you've beenlistening to my podcast, if
you're new here, welcome.
If you have been around for awhile and you're like you know
what, I'm ready to take the nextstep I want to invite you to
join me inside my one-on-onecoaching together.
We don't just look at thenumbers.
(01:02):
I think that numbers is such asmall part of actually you know
the money work that we dotogether, we really go deeper,
helping you release those moneystories so that your nervous
system can actually feel safeand abundant, you know, being
able to actually enjoy yourwealth that you have already
(01:23):
created, and creating morewealth from a place of fun and
love and joy.
That is what I'm here to helpyou do.
Like we already know what it'slike to create wealth from.
Like struggle and hustle andwithholding and hoarding.
Like that's not what we're herefor, that's not why God sent us
to this or, you know, sent usto planet earth.
Like that is not the purpose ofthis.
(01:44):
It is to enjoy ourselves whilewe're here.
So if this is something thathas been on your mind and your
heart and you feel like maybeAaron would be a good person to
guide me along the way, I wouldlove to support you and also
feel honored to have thatconversation with you and to
guide you.
So if you're interested, allyou have to do is just click the
link in the show notes and youcan schedule a session for us to
(02:06):
just get to know each other.
I call it a clarity session.
Clarity call discovery, callconsultation, whatever you want
to call it.
It's just an opportunity foryou to share what's on your
heart, and I can also share howI would be able to help you and
what it would look like to worktogether.
So let's talk about guilt andshame, because I think it.
(02:26):
I think it holds a lot of usback and I don't care whether
you are male or female.
It is a lower vibration emotionand it is something that is can
be an addictive emotion.
Dr Joe Dispenza talks aboutthis, and so I'm going to dive
into a little bit about how itcan be an addictive emotion and
(02:46):
how it just keeps us in thiscycle and in this circle of not
enough and also continuing to dothe same thing over and over
again.
So why does spending activateguilt within our nervous systems
?
And I think it is because wefeel judgment right, we are
(03:08):
judging our choices.
You know so.
For so many of us, our earlymoney conditioning like our
parents, who we grew up with,our caretakers, you know we're
tied to a lot of us grew up in avery scarce, lower
consciousness household.
You know it was tied to lackand scarcity.
And a lot of us grew up in avery scarce, lower consciousness
household.
You know it was tied to lackand scarcity and a lot of times,
(03:29):
moral judgment.
You know, I even know, like mydad, he loves computers and he
values computers, and so that iswhere sometimes I say computers
, technology in general, right.
And so there have been times,when I used to work with him in
his company, of where we wouldhave, he would have no problem
(03:50):
spending money on me for a newcomputer, but something that
maybe wasn't computer oriented.
That would be a little bit of aum, I don't want to say stretch
for him, but it definitelywasn't an easy.
Yes, right, it's because ofwhat he valued.
So, you know, if you hadparents that judged how you
wanted to spend money, you know,think about even society.
(04:12):
Now, right, like we judge whatis worth spending our money on
and what isn't right, there isno right or wrong way to spend
or circulate your money.
Spending money is just acircumstance, right, it's based
on.
We spend our money based on ourvalues, you know, and a lot of
us don't have the same values,right?
Somebody might have a value tobuy designer handbags.
(04:35):
It doesn't mean we need tojudge that person, they just
value buying designer handbags.
Someone like me might valuehaving luxurious vacations,
right, we don't need to judge it.
It's just a difference ofvalues and how we want to
circulate our money.
But when we look at how we arespending our money and we're
judging how we're spending ourmoney, that's where things get a
(04:58):
little squirrely and thenthat's where the guilt and the
shame comes up.
So if you grew up hearingthings like that's a waste of
your money or don't waste yourmoney on that, or maybe you
watched a parent, you know Ididn't have this, but I have had
clients and friends tell melike that the moms would like
buy products or buy things andthen would like hide them in the
(05:18):
back of their closet forseveral months, so that when she
actually put it on then it waslike no, I've had it for a long
time, which she is actuallytelling the truth, she has had
it for a long time but it is new, right.
So there is that that isunderlying belief of like shame
around buying something rightand like maybe the friction that
it would have caused with thepartner or the spouse.
(05:39):
So if there was hiding aroundpurchasing things or hiding
between you know your parentsaround how they spend money,
then that can also trickle downto us just by you know your
parents around how they spendmoney, then that can also
trickle down to us just by, youknow, as children, right Up
until they say age seven.
But, like, who knows if that'sactually true, what if it's even
longer than that?
Like everything is just beingbum um coming into our
(06:02):
subconscious and there's nofilter.
So what this has done for us isit has trained our nervous
system, you know, to equatespending on certain things,
right, maybe for fun is not safeor it's being irresponsible.
So, even now that you arefinancially okay on paper, right
(06:24):
, and probably I would say,thriving I mean, if you're
listening to this podcast, youprobably have a computer, you
probably have an iPhone or sometype of phone right, and
probably I would say thriving.
I mean, if you're listening tothis podcast, you probably have
a computer, you probably have aniPhone or some type of phone,
right, so you are thriving.
And your body, though itdoesn't feel that way, right, it
still sends out that, thosefeelings of guilt when you are
spending.
(06:44):
So guilt can be a very habitualfeeling.
You know our bodies are used tofeeling what guilt feels like.
If this is a practiced emotionthat you have, I mean, for me
this was very, this wassomething that I really put some
effort in, because there wasguilt around spending money on
(07:05):
fun and enjoying and not earningmoney.
Because I had so many storiesaround earning money, um, and
that once you earn it then youget to go have fun, versus just
spending money Cause you want toand you or you know money had
to have a purpose, versus I justwant it because I want it.
So if your body is used tofeeling guilt on a consistent
(07:25):
basis and it doesn't feel guilt,then it's going to serve up the
guilt because it's used tofeeling that way.
So it doesn't mean that feelingguilt is correct for us.
It just means that it'sfamiliar and the body loves
familiarity.
So how do we actually startshifting this?
First and foremost, we have tonormalize spending as a healthy
(07:48):
part of money flowing right.
Money is energy, just likeeverything else in life, and
energy is meant to circulate,and so when we are saving or
hoarding for in my case,hoarding money and never
allowing ourselves to enjoy ourwealth, it reinforces to
(08:10):
ourselves that money is unsafe.
It like here you go back to,like it has to have a purpose
right.
Like do you actually believethat money is there for you to
enjoy.
Like I would start there.
Like, what do you believe aboutmoney?
Do you believe it's meant to beenjoyed and to be shared and to
have fun?
Do you believe that it's meantto serve a specific purpose?
(08:31):
Like growing up in my house,like it was totally okay to
spend money on private educationand houses not so much
vacations, not so much on fun,right?
So it just depends on like,what have you grown up believing
?
What are your stories aroundmoney right now and what is its
use and purpose?
(08:54):
So you could start with I alwayssay, like, who is the person
you know, like maybe journalabout, who is the person that
believes that money is meant tobe circulated and enjoyed?
And maybe, if you can't get toenjoying circulating your money
just because and it's fun, maybeget into the place of like what
I call bridge thoughts orsomething like you know,
purchasing something that Ienjoy.
I see other people doing thatand they're a human and I can do
(09:17):
that too.
Like I had to start with someof my beliefs.
I had to start with just like,well, they're a human and I'm a
human.
So, okay, you know, like veryneutral beliefs, not all the way
over, to like abundance If youcan get on board, if your brain
can get on board with.
You know, other people enjoytheir money for fun.
They're human, I'm human.
(09:37):
That's a possibility for me,something like that.
You're going to have to playwith what feels good for you,
but I'll give you a couple morehere.
And then I want you to likeactually take the time and sit
down and journal or write outlike what are some, like one or
two beliefs, right, you don'tneed to come up with this whole
slew of them, but I always say,like, make it easy.
But like I had to use a lot oftimes, like I'm learning to
(10:00):
believe right, or I'm in theprocess of believing that it's
safe to spend money on things Ienjoy.
You know the work for us, theeffort is to not not purchase
something.
That's not growth.
The growth is I'm going topurchase this and I'm going to
feel what the feeling is.
I'm going to feel that guilt,I'm going to feel that shame
bubble up in me and I'm goingand I'm willing to feel this
(10:22):
feeling.
That's where the growth lies.
So, and that is where weactually get to process right.
Like if we are continuing tojust do the same thing over and
over again.
You're actually not reallyhaving to process much emotions
in that regard because it's avery familiar place for you.
So the second thing that I woulddo is really to slow down.
I always encourage clients likelet's even slow down even more.
(10:44):
Right, we think we've sloweddown, but like I think we live
in such a fast society, likelet's slow down even more and
savor it.
So when you rush through yourspending if you are, or maybe
you aren't even spending at all,right, like you're missing out
which I'm not a FOMO person butlike you're literally
withholding that's probably abetter word you are withholding
(11:04):
pleasure and we are pleasurebeings.
Like that is part of gifts thatwe were given is to enjoy our
life here is to feel pleasure inthe body.
Like I always say that money isfor the body.
Like our soul could care less,you know, but on the 3d plane,
like where we live, planet earth, money is for the body.
(11:24):
It is to enjoy and to have funand to share and to like just
enjoy your money.
So you know, let's just usebuying a coffee or what I drink
chai lattes or iced tea.
So there was a time where Iwould be like, well, we don't
need to spend money on, like,really going to coffee places
(11:45):
because we could make it at home, or that's just too much money
or whatever.
My thoughts were back then.
And so, if you are like, thinkof something that will challenge
you a little bit, that'soutside your comfort zone what I
call window of tolerance, andstart doing that.
Right, so I would start takingmyself out for tea and when I
(12:06):
was there, I would first andforemost like acknowledge it.
Right, like I'm so proud of youfor doing this.
This feels a littleuncomfortable, right.
I also noticed the thoughts inmy head and so just really
recognizing, like doing somealways come back to the body,
like we have to teach ournervous system that we are safe.
(12:27):
But one of the ways we do thatis with our breath, and it's not
actually on the inhale, it'sactually on the exhale.
So making your exhale longerthan your inhale inhale, it will
actually activate yourparasympathetic nervous system,
which is all of that rest anddigest, like calmness, versus
the sympathetic which is yourstress.
(12:48):
You know fight or flight.
So really enjoy the purchasethat you made, right, like if
we're going back to the coffeeor the tea example, feeling like
if it's a warm cup of coffee,let's just say if it's a warm
cup of coffee, let's just sayit's a warm cup of coffee.
So you want to tie the, thesenses, into your experience,
right?
So how many senses can youconnect with this experience?
(13:10):
So you're looking at the tea orthe coffee, you are feeling it,
so it might be cold or it mightbe warm.
Um, what are the site or whatare the?
What do you hear in the coffeeshop?
Um, the, the taste of it, justlike truly being present and
like taking it into your body,noticing the smell of it.
Does it have a certain smell?
(13:30):
Did you get like lavender orvanilla or something you know in
your coffee?
Like, really try to bring asmany senses as you can into it,
to take it into the body, right.
And so the more that we do this, the more we normalize this,
the more that we are saying it'ssafe to enjoy this.
You know, like my, my energy, Icall her my energy worker, body
(13:51):
worker, whatever you want tocall it.
Like, a lot of times you cantap on your actual like, think
about where your eyebrows areand just go up a little bit
above.
You can tap there and you cansay things like it's safe to
enjoy this.
You know it's safe to enjoywhat I have generated money with
.
You know, like it's okay tospend my money, it's okay to
(14:13):
circulate my money.
You know I am safe in thismoment because that kind of ties
into back to your nervoussystem and teaching your nervous
system that, teaching yournervous system that you are safe
.
And then the third thing that Iwould do is to watch what your
brain says.
Also, notice what your body isfeeling, right.
Like, so maybe you had alreadymade the decision I just use the
coffee shop as an example butmaybe it's a bigger purchase.
(14:35):
But like, just notice where youmade the decision ahead of time
and then you're in it or youpurchase it, and then maybe
you're looking at your creditcard statement after the fact.
So just notice what are thethoughts that are going through
your mind, right?
So if you hear those repetitivethoughts that you're used to
thinking like, maybe I shouldn'thave done that, or, um, that
(14:58):
was silly of me to purchase, orI shouldn't be spending that
much money, just notice what arethose thoughts, because those
are the thoughts that you wantto start modifying and changing
to be more supportive andempowering for you, right?
So saying things like I chosethis, right, I can trust myself
with money.
Like I was having thisconversation with a client the
other day and we were talkingabout being a good steward of
(15:19):
your money and she was like, oh,I don't feel that yet.
And I was like that's fine, butyou are learning to be a good
steward of your money.
And I gave her, like, severalexamples and she was like, yeah,
I am.
I was like, exactly Right, like, so we have to notice what our
brains are telling us and wehave to intentionally choose
what we want to believe andthink.
Like so often we think we'rethinking, but we're not, we're
(15:41):
just regurgitating thosethoughts that had have already
been to us or you know, tellingus for years and years and years
.
So think about and notice whenthose thoughts come up.
What do you want tointentionally tell yourself?
And I would even start like itdepends on where your awareness
is, but you can start with thatand then move to like
intentionally telling yourselfon purpose, on a, you know,
(16:02):
consistent basis, right, likeI'm choosing this.
I'm trusting myself with moneyor I'm learning to trust myself.
I'm learning to be a goodsteward of my money?
Right, money flows in and out.
Money is energy.
It's meant to circulate, right?
I mean, I had a mentor tell meyou're actually violating the
law when you are hoarding yourmoney.
Like part of money is tocirculate and move.
(16:23):
So I'm allowed to use money ina way that supports me in my
life, right, I'm allowed to usemoney for joy and fun, like it's
safe to use money.
As for joy and fun, like I hadto start there, like I had to
start telling myself it is safeto use money for joy and fun.
So, if this resonates with youand you're tired of feeling that
(16:44):
guilt spiral, shame circle, youknow, um, every time that you
spend or you circulate yourmoney you know this is some of
the work that I do with clients.
So, owning your wealth, owningyour abundance, you know your
bigness in life, like we wereall here to be big, to have and
live this vibrant life.
So releasing those stories thatyour body has been holding onto
(17:07):
all of these years aroundscarcity and lack, so that you
can actually enjoy the life thatyou have and that you're
creating and that you'rebuilding.
I would love to work with you.
All you have to do to schedulea call with me is just go to the
show notes and click on thelink to book and you can find a
good time that works for you.
So I want to say thank youalways for being here, for
(17:28):
spending your time with me.
Remember that money is a toolto support you to live your most
beautiful, vibrant life.
And if your mind wants to arguewith that last sentence, I
invite you to just open it andpeel it back.
Open it up just a little bitand be like well, what if that
were actually true?
What if it were actually truethat I was sent here to enjoy my
(17:49):
life, to enjoy our money andthe money that I have created?
No, I am giving you.
You don't need my permission,but you know you are allowed.
You are meant to enjoy yourmoney.
Okay, I'll see you next time.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.