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September 4, 2025 15 mins

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Resistance isn't really about procrastination, "laziness", or self-sabotage, more often than not, it’s your body’s way of protecting you. Whether it shows up as avoiding money tasks, feeling paralyzed by financial decisions, rushing through difficult seasons of life, or numbing out with distractions, resistance carries an important message.

In this episode, I dive into how to approach resistance with emotional regulation and curiosity, so you can stop pushing through and start listening to what your body and nervous system are really trying to tell you. 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • Why resistance shows up as protection rather than laziness or self-sabotage
  • The many forms resistance can take like avoidance, procrastination, or emotional numbing
  • How your body communicates resistance through physical sensations (tightness, discomfort, fatigue)
  • Why “pushing through” often blocks deeper wisdom from emerging
  • How working with resistance becomes a practice of self-parenting and compassion
  • Ways this approach can transform your relationship with money and ripple through all areas of life

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From my soul to yours,

Erin

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:01):
What if the resistance that you feel isn't
something that you need to getrid of?
What if it's actually invitingyou to go within?
Today, we are going to beexploring resistance, the way
that it shows up with your moneyand also just in general with
your life, like if you'refeeling like you just want a

(00:22):
certain phase or a certaincircumstance to just hurry up
and be over.
We're going to be diving intothat.
Resistance is not an issue.
I believe it truly is themessenger, and when we learn how
to listen, that's when thingsreally start to shift.
So, before we dive in, if youhave been noticing resistance
around your money, around howyou're feeling with your money,

(00:42):
just in general with your life,if you have been noticing
resistance around your money,around how you're feeling with
your money, just in general withyour life, if you're ready to
move through it with supportfrom a place of love and
compassion and understanding,not like trying to force it or
repress it or make it go away Iwould love to support you To
schedule a call to see if we area good fit for each other.

(01:04):
You can click the link in theshow notes.
Okay, so let's talk aboutresistance.
First of all.
It's not a problem, likeeverything just is.
Nature just is the state of ourplanet just is what's happening
in the world just is world justis we.
That's circumstances, right,but we have thoughts, we have

(01:26):
feelings around it.
Okay, so resistance is not aproblem, it just is.
And the way that resistanceshows up and it can be kind of
sneaky, like our brains, ourbodies are very, very good at
protecting us.
Resistance can look like notsitting down with your money
when you say you would.

(01:46):
It could look like either someother event that's on your
calendar and not doing it whenyou have it on your calendar to
do.
It can look like wanting acertain season or a circumstance
in your life that you arecurrently experiencing to just
be done with.
Already I've had clients tellme before I'm just so over this,
I'm just ready to be done withthis, this part or this phase

(02:10):
that's happening in my life, andwhat that tells me is that they
are not wanting to feel whatneeds to be felt in that moment.
Right, because the only reasonwhy we want something to go away
is because the feeling that weare currently feeling is
uncomfortable.
So if we can sink into thefeeling, if we can like.

(02:31):
The image that comes to my mindis like a hug, right, if we can
hug the season of life that weare in, if we can become softer
with it and more compassionateand curious with it, like we
will get so much informationfrom it.
Resistance, you know, evenlooks like not having those hard
conversations that we know andthat we have said that we are

(02:51):
going to have.
And so many of us look atresistance like it's a and I'm
air quoting a negative thing.
You know, like I've had clientssay, well, I'm just being lazy,
or you know, I'm just not cutout for it, or just whatever the
brain is offering up.
You know, well, I'm just beinglazy, or you know I'm just not
cut out for it, or just whateverthe brain is offering up.
You know, like we don't havewillpower.
But in my experience, what Ihave seen in clients, with

(03:16):
myself, with other people in mylife, is that resistance is
actually a form of protection.
Our bodies are so intelligent,so intelligent, our minds are so
intelligent.
It is this beautiful way ofsaying that something feels
overwhelming right now, or thisdoesn't feel safe, or this feels

(03:39):
a little scary, or insertwhatever feeling that may be
occurring that is creating thisresistance.
And this could be sometimesbecause maybe you are in a
normal, like your familiar stateof being, is in that fight or
flight, right, like I call itthat survival.
Maybe that's where you are.

(04:00):
So anything that you are tryingto do outside of that that's
added to that, is just likeputting extra on your nervous
system.
Maybe you are already at what Icall like that window of
tolerance, right, like anythingelse just feels like too much.
Sometimes it's it's because youmight have been consistently

(04:23):
and maybe even unknowingly right, ignoring grief or fear or
anger that is wanting to be felt.
Sometimes it's because you'retrying to push yourself into
making yourself do somethingthat is not aligned with your
true heart's desire, is notaligned with your true heart's

(04:47):
desire.
And the only way we know whatkind of resistance this is is if
we slow down and we actuallyget curious, if we actually tend
to and go within and stop withthe external right.
Go within and actually startasking yourself questions,
getting in tune with your body,right, because the truth is that
when you meet resistance from aplace of curiosity, from a

(05:11):
place of love and compassion andunderstanding and not judgment,
then you get to gain access tothe wisdom that's actually
underneath it.
You know, asking yourself likewhat is this resistance trying
to protect me from feeling?
Like, what am I unwilling tofeel in this moment?

(05:32):
And this isn't from the energyof like what are you not willing
to feel?
It's more so from a place oflove and curiosity, like how
would you talk to thetwo-year-old?
What are you needing in thismoment?
What's going on right now?
What are you feeling?
What are you not wanting tofeel?
You know, if you're rushing, ifyou're wanting something to just
be over with, you know, I'vehad clients who are either in

(05:57):
the middle of a divorce orpost-divorce, and there's this
back and forth with theirprevious partners and this is,
you know, they've been divorcedfor years, but there's this,
just this culmination offeelings that they have felt,
that they've really haven'tultimately been able to release.
And you know, sometimes theyhave told me, like I just want
this to be over with.

(06:17):
And when you're wantingsomething to be over, when
you're rushing to, rushing tohurry up something, when you're
either rushing from something oryou're rushing to something,
ultimately you are not willingand wanting to feel a feeling,
and there doesn't need to beshame associated with this.
There doesn't need to be anyguilt, it just is a noticing, it

(06:37):
is an awareness, and if you arepushing yourself into something
that actually doesn't fit, likeacting from your head instead
of your actual body, like a trueintuition, then you can really
start to get clear on okay, thisis coming from my head instead

(06:58):
of a true heart's desire andthat's why I'm resisting it of a
true heart's desire and that'swhy I'm resisting it, and that
right there will save youprobably lots of time, lots of
energy, lots of resources,financially and other right that
you would have gotten orentered into had you just pushed
forward.
So resistance I look at it asthis beautiful thing that is

(07:20):
showing us where do we need toturn in more, where do we need
to get more still?
Where do we need to get moreconnected to ourselves and see
what's actually going on there?
You know, the moment that youstart asking yourself these
questions, the moment that youstart slowing down and you are
paying attention to what's goingon in your body, you will

(07:41):
notice your body to soften.
You know the resistance willshift just by actually asking
yourself and getting in tunewith yourself and your those
questions right, by slowing down, by getting curious, by looking
at.
Am I forcing?
Am I not wanting to feelsomething like what's going on

(08:02):
here?
And it's not necessarilysomething that has to be
answered, you know, like whenyou start doing this in the next
10 minutes, right, sometimesthis is, this isn't an
uncovering, and one of thethings that I have been willing
to do, which is highlyuncomfortable, is to sit in the
question for however long ittakes.

(08:23):
You know, so often I think a lotof us just want something to be
done with, because we just wantto get rid of that feeling.
But the more that you arewilling to sit in what I mean
I'm air quoting, because I don'tthink that they are
uncomfortable feelings and maybethey are to the nervous system,
but like they're just notfamiliar, right?

(08:44):
The more that I sit in that Imean I think about two sides of
a.
You know, if you think about ariver and two sides one on, you
know, a bank on each side themore that I'm willing to just be
in that river and allow what isactually coming through, allow

(09:06):
what is actually coming through,the more insights I get.
You know, and I get suchclarity by being willing to not
rush through something.
This is a practice.
This is not something that I doperfectly, nor is it something
that you know happened overnight, like I just shared, I think,
on the previous episode episode140, like, where I didn't label
it as resistance, but that'swhat was happening.
It was this tug of war in mybody, between my head and my

(09:29):
heart, right, and I felt whatneeded to be with ourselves and
give care and compassion toourselves.
We can't receive the messagethat is coming to us.

(09:51):
So the practice you know thatyou can start to do is, one, ask
yourself questions and two isstart to notice how resistance
shows up in the body.
You know, if you think ofresistance on more so of that,
like fight, fight, freeze orfawn response, resistance even
might look like for you, of likesaying yes when you really want

(10:12):
to say no, like it's thatpeople pleasing, that is
resistance.
To say no, like it's thatpeople pleasing, that is
resistance.
It could look like getting intoan argument with someone your
spouse or maybe your childinstead of sitting back and
recognizing oh, this is what I'mfeeling right now, and then
this is you know why I'm actinglike this, or what's bubbling up

(10:33):
within me, right?
So you really have to slow downand start to to feel the
sensations in your body.
Maybe it's a tightness in yourchest If you're, you know, said
you're going to look at yourmoney and you haven't.
Maybe it's that like gut right,like, oh my gosh, like that
tightness in your in your gut.

(10:53):
I don't know what it's going toand it's going to present in
all different ways in your body.
But the only way that you willstart to get familiar with this
is if you start to practice this.
This is a practice, like that'sthe way that you get good at
something is practicing it.
So if you are noticing that youwant to numb out and you want to
just scroll social media,that's resistance and all of

(11:14):
these examples they're not aproblem.
That's resistance and all ofthese examples.
They're not a problem.
It's just to notice what youknow, like I used to use
self-development as resistance,right, because it's easy to just
read more books, it's easy tolisten to someone else.
It's easy to listen to me on apodcast or someone else on a
podcast.
What is a little bit moreunfamiliar is to sit down and

(11:36):
journal, or to sit down andrecognize the patterns that you
have.
So resistance shows up in alldifferent ways for all different
people.
There's not good or bad.
Right, Just recognizing what isthe way that resistance shows
up for you and when you canstart to notice it from a place
of curiosity, instead ofjudgment and shaming yourself.
Right, there's this.

(11:57):
I don't think it's a poem, butit's.
I think a Buddhist monk saidright, like it's like.
The first arrow is just thething that occurs.
The second arrow is us puttingis the struggle that we have
because we're labeling it andwe're adding so much to it with
our thoughts and our feelings.
Right, so, with us, with theresistance, we can just notice

(12:17):
the resistance.
The second arrow is when we addthe shame and the guilt on top
of it or we like, make thisstory up.
We don't have to make thisstory up about how we're being
lazy.
We can just notice that we'renot doing the thing.
Okay, great, Perfect, celebrateit and then decide okay, what do
I want to do with thisinformation?
You know, you can lovingly tellyourself, of course, I feel

(12:38):
this way, you know.
Thank you, body, for protectingme.
Now, what do I want to do?
You know, from an empoweredplace, what do I want to do to
move me one step forward.
I always ask this question whatwould I love?
Like it gets my brain to focuson what do I want instead of
what is happening right now inthis 3D observed world, and this

(13:00):
is how resistance can become aguide.
You know, that's how you beginto move through avoidance or
impatience or fear or overwhelmor whatever it is that you're
experiencing.
The solution is not to bulldozeyourself and force yourself to
just move through it, which somany of us you know if you
probably grew up around the eraI did, so many of us kind of
that was our, that's what ourparents did, right?

(13:21):
Like stop crying, put your biggirl or put your big boy panties
on and just do the thing.
Like, what do you have to cryabout?
Or, you know, ain't nobody gottime for that or whatever.
The messages that were relayedto us were right, but we can
honor ourselves, we can feelwhat needs to be felt in the
moment.
We can be our biggest advocate,and actually that is what I

(13:45):
help clients do.
Right, we are reparentingourselves and sometimes that
means that we have and feel alot of anger for how we were
raised, and that's okay, right,but we don't have to stay there,
like we can give ourselves allthe love, all the compassion
that we ever are seeking outsideof ourselves.
And actually that's, I mean,what you got to do right, cause

(14:07):
you will never be able to toreceive it fully until you have
done that for yourself.
So if you've been pushingyourself, rushing to get to the
next place in your life and I'mair quoting place I want to
encourage you just to slow down,have compassion for yourself
and love on those tender partsof you.
You know, if this resonateswith you, if you've been feeling

(14:29):
resistance in, with your money,certain areas of your life, you
know and you want to learn howto meet yourself with compassion
and understanding and curiosity, instead of forcing, I'm here
for you.
You can click the link in theshow notes and just see if we
are a good fit for each other.
I want to say big stuff here.
Right, like this is.
This is life changing stuff.

(14:51):
This is skill sets that you getto take and share with your
children, with people that youinteract with.
Definitely you know you get totake and share with your
children, with people that youinteract with.
Definitely you know you get tochange your life with this stuff
and it's important that youunderstand and you know that you
are worthy of taking time to dosome of this.
It's not something, also thatwe have to sit around all day

(15:11):
and do, but when those feelingscome up, when that resistance
comes up, allow it, get curious,go inward and tend to yourself.
I'm rooting for you, I love youand I will see you in the next
episode.
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