August 18, 2025 • 46 mins
Why do some mortgage experiences feel seamless while others turn into nightmares? It’s not just about interest rates; it’s about the lender guiding you through the process.
In this episode, mortgage expert Jacqueline “Jax” Crider shares what most borrowers overlook: not all lenders are created equal. With 20+ years of experience and a law degree, Jax explains why the right mortgage partner should challenge your assumptions, uncover better options, and help you make decisions from confidence, not fear.
We also dive into the emotional side of money — from shame and guilt to the hesitation women often feel about investing in themselves.
You’ll learn:
- Why interest rate isn’t the only factor that matters in a mortgage
- How transparency with your lender can save you stress and money
- The role of shame and fear in financial decision-making
- Why calculated risks are essential for growth
- How to align financial choices with your values and energy
If you want to learn more about Jax, you can connect with her here: (https;//urals.co/jax-crider)
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From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:01):
Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast.
On the podcast today, I have aspecial guest for you.
I invited Jacqueline Kreider,or you might hear me refer to
her as Jax.
She and I share similar valuesin regard to empowering women to
trust themselves and theirintuition.
We also think outside the boxwhen it comes to finance.
(00:23):
Jax is the founder of PBJMortgage, where she simplifies
the mortgage process for buyerswho want more than just a loan.
They actually want a plan andshe also leads Financial Mastery
Simplified, which is a coachingand education platform that
helps women and professionalsrewrite their money stories and
(00:45):
build financial lives thatactually work for them.
With over two decades infinance, a law degree and a bold
mission to disrupt outdatedmoney rules which I love,
because that is absolutely whatI stand for Jax equips her
clients to ditch fear-baseddecisions and step into
financial freedom on their ownterms.
I hope that you enjoy listeningto this conversation as much as
(01:09):
I did having it, so let's divein.
Thanks, jax, for being here, ofcourse.
Jax Crider (01:17):
Thank you for having me.
Erin Gray (01:19):
So I want to talk about because I think, from the
lens I love like pickingpeople's brains from the back
end of and sharing and it kindof exposing for lack of a better
word of what you see on yourend.
So tell me, because I thinkmost of my listeners have had
mortgages and for a lot of us wewould probably think now we
(01:44):
might think a mortgage is amortgage is a mortgage, or a
lender is a lender is a lender,and also we've had lenders or
mortgage companies who have beenvery fun to deal with and we
have had some who have not been.
So tell me kind of what yourapproach to mortgage lending is,
how it's kind of different thanmaybe what mainstream kind of
(02:05):
tells us or teaches us whatmortgage lending is.
Jax Crider (02:09):
So first of all, I will start by saying I've done
all the things in lending, solike if there's pretty much a
job in lending, I've done it.
I've been an underwriter, aprocessor, mortgage compliance.
I hold a law degree, but mostof my career has been spent in
origination.
For those of you who are notfamiliar with what origination
is, it's basically the personwho's a front runner, talking to
you and setting up your loan tobe able to get it made right.
(02:34):
So it's a loan officer personright.
That has mainly been my periodof expertise and I will tell you
it's not entirely your faultthat you think that all lenders
are created equal, becausereally big players in our game
have convinced you that the onlything that matters in the
mortgage space is interest rate.
I actually did an entirepodcast episode myself on I
(02:58):
actually don't think it was apodcast episode, I think it was
just for my channel, like my PBJMortgage TV about interest rate
and why it's important.
But it is not the only thingthat matters, and so let me kind
of explain why the lender thatyou use really can kind of, I
guess, make or break yourprocess.
So first of all, understandthat not all lenders are created
(03:19):
equal in how much experience wehold right.
So, loans there are, first ofall, hundreds of different kinds
of loan types.
So I guarantee you you've heardof the big ones, right.
You've heard conventional,you've heard FHA, you've heard
DA, you may have heard of USDA,you've heard of jumbo.
These are probably the onesyou've heard of.
(03:41):
What you don't understand isthat there's products that are
underlying each of these buckets.
That's one thing, and thenthere are even more nuanced.
So there's like weird specialtyproducts, non-qm loans, like
there's all these differentkinds of loan types and products
.
And so I think a lot of peoplehave this idea when they're
buying a house, because they'retrying to equate it to the most
(04:04):
similar experience they've everhad.
It's similar to buying a car.
Car loans there's really only acouple of options, right,
mortgage loans.
If you disseminate it down tothe amount of different choices
we can offer you on interestrate, the amount of different
programs we can offer you, theamount of different lengths of
time that you can take out theloan for, right, so 30, 20, or
(04:26):
15, 10, all these differentkinds of combination, you
literally have millions andmillions of combinations of
choices that we can offer you.
And so if you don't have anyexperience utilizing all those
different program types, reallydisseminating down and
understanding the unique profileof each and every person, it's
(04:47):
super hard to be able to giveclear and actionable advice.
And so what happens is thelending person is probably just
going to take the path of leastresistance and whatever it is
you say you want, they're justgoing to give it to you.
So if you say, great, I wantthe lowest interest rate, even
if that interest rate may not bethe best choice for your
(05:08):
financial needs, they're justgoing to provide it for you
because it's the path of leastresistance.
It means that they get the saleand so that's what they care
about.
Right, and I firmly believethat that should not be the case
.
Each person is unique.
You have unique needs.
It is my job to not onlydisseminate what those are but
(05:30):
also push back on you if you aremaking what I believe might be
a wrong step.
Right, so it's still going tobe your choice.
I want to empower you to makethat call, but if I have more
information than you do which Ido I need to be able to do my
fiduciary responsibility ofsaying, hey, have you considered
(05:51):
this?
You should maybe look at this.
This is why and unfortunately alot of people in my space they
only see the dollar signs whenthey enter a mortgage.
They don't really care as muchabout the individual, and that
makes me very sad, first of all,and then second of all, it just
yields a lot of people notunderstanding their process, not
(06:13):
being informed and not makingeducate, empower decisions, and
it is what my brand is all aboutand why I even started in the
first place.
Erin Gray (06:22):
Yeah, you touched on something that is really
important to me as a consumer.
Is, you said, knowledge or time?
You know, time in motiondoesn't necessarily equate
knowledge, right?
Because someone could stay in asomeone could stay somewhere and
not learn.
But you and I have hadconversations offline and I've
been on your podcast and we'vehad conversations around that
and it's it's important and Ithink that you do right, like
(06:43):
you have the knowledge and youcare and that is something that
a quarter of a point or you know.
Like it's you're paying for theknowledge and the expertise of
someone, even though you'restill going to run it back
through your own intuition andcheck your decision-making.
But, like what you said, right,when someone knows more than
you, it's like I have clientsthat say all this all the time
(07:05):
Like I don't know what, I don'tknow, and it's like, yeah, then
you want to be working and havea team of people that are going
to advise you about things thatthey have seen on their backend
that you might never even thinkabout.
And I also think with lending,it's very similar to what you
kind of said to realty.
It's like it might be easy toget into, like the barrier to
(07:27):
entry is very easy, kind of likecoaching, like I think anybody
could just be a coach, right,but like what are your tools in
your toolkit?
What experiences have you seen?
What have you done and how haveyou service clients?
I think is so important becauseI think a lot of times, also as
the consumer, we think that wehave to go with this mortgage
company.
There's been several times thatwe have bought houses and the
(07:50):
realtor wants to go work withthis mortgage company or lending
company and I'm like absolutelynot Right.
And so just having knowing thisand knowing you have a choice
with your lending company, evenif it's not where your realtor
goes with, and I have workedwith mortgage companies who have
(08:12):
fumbled the ball, even though Ihave been calling myself, you
know, and I've also worked withlending companies who have
closed our home in less than sixdays.
So it's just, it's.
It all goes back to like doyour due diligence.
And also, like what you'resaying, it's not all about the
money.
Right, money does matter, butat the end of the day, the
relationship because I I thinkabout it this way too is like
(08:33):
you're probably not going to buyjust one home your entire life,
and so you want someone that'sgoing to grow with you and to
expand and to advise you as yougrow your assets and you assets
and step into differentmortgages and change houses or
rental properties or whatever itmight be.
Jax Crider (08:50):
Well, I'll give you a perfect example of exactly
this.
So your patterns that you don'teven realize you create
financially, they show up places.
So we had a client one timewho's referred to us and we
started talking to them and hewas adamant that he wanted a
30-year fixed interest rate.
Okay, perfect, no problem,right?
Because, of course, arm loans,or adjustable rate mortgages for
those of you who don'tunderstand that that's an
(09:12):
acronym got a really bad rapright, and the 08-09 crash.
Lots of people startedbelieving that they were kind of
the devil and this is ahorrible product.
Historically speaking, theyactually perform better than
fixed rate mortgages, like overthe course of time, but they
don't fit everybody's situation.
Okay, and so we were reviewinghis credit report and what you
(09:33):
could see was a clear patternthat every two to three years,
he either refinanced or sold ahouse Literally, I mean, it was
on his credit report Boom, boom,boom boom.
So I challenged his viewpointand we said okay, so I totally
understand.
You want a 30-year fixed rateof interest.
That's great, that's awesome.
Why?
Well, because I don't want todeal with an adjustable rate
loan.
Okay, that's fair.
(09:53):
Do you understand that there aresuch things called fixed period
arms, which means that it isfixed for a period of time,
usually three, five or sevenyears and then after this period
, it does adjust.
There's very specific numbersthat determine these adjustments
.
We can explain them to you, butI will tell you, historically
speaking, from your own creditprofile, you show that you
(10:15):
usually only keep this loan forthis long, so you actually are
going to pay a higher interestrate by doing this than taking
this RM product.
I understand from yourperspective that in your mind
that is a riskier product.
It is, but it's a calculatedrisk, right, and so I'm not
telling you to do it.
I'm telling you you should takeit into consideration, based on
(10:37):
your own profile of how youspend and use money.
This is not Jack saying, oh, Iwant to push my client into an
arm loan.
This is me looking at yoursituation and saying this might
be something you want to takeinto consideration, and
unfortunately, a lot of peopleagain, because they just want
(10:57):
the money.
They're not going to challengethe viewpoint of the consumer
and in my mind, a great expertdoes that.
It is my job to give you adifferent perspective, to give
you a different viewpoint andthen trust that I gave you the
information and that you knowyourself well enough to say you
know, I think this is what fitsme and my family, or no, I still
(11:19):
want to go with what I wantedoriginally.
Great, I don't struck the checklike you do, that's fine.
I just want to make sure thatyou have the information so you
can make a well-informed choice.
Erin Gray (11:30):
Yeah, what do you see ?
Like, if you were to think of,like the top three things that
you see on your end in your backoffice that maybe we as the
consumer aren't aware of, that,you'd be like, oh I, if I could
tell you three things to payattention to, these are the
three.
I mean, I'm sure there'sprobably way more than that, but
like, what are the top threethat come to mind?
Jax Crider (11:49):
So I will tell you, first of all, what most people
don't realize is how many peopleare actually involved in a real
estate transaction.
There are a ton of them, andthe one thing that's super
important to remember is thelending institution.
We are the central point ofthat.
In essence, you can think of usas sort of the ringleader of
the circus, so we're trying tomake sure that everything is
(12:11):
going on right, that each act iscoming on as they're supposed
to and that people aren'tthrowing wrenches.
And we joke all the time thatif everybody did their part in
the transaction and didn't throwany wrenches, man, we could
close millions of transactions amonth.
It would be easy peasy.
But unfortunately, life belifing and humans be humaning,
and so that doesn't exactly goaccording to plan.
(12:33):
And so the challenge is is thatif you don't have somebody who
can pivot and understand and haswe usually have plan B, c, d,
we usually have a couple of themor if we don't have those plans
, you also know, like Erin, look, here's the situation.
This is a very difficult file,like you understand.
You know, here are thechallenges, here's how we're
(12:56):
combating them.
Like we're very transparent,and what you have to understand
is is like if you don't not onlynot have the knowledge on the
back end to make these thingsfly, but also if you don't have
a team that has the ability topivot, it can really bite you in
the rear end.
And I'll give you a very recentexample.
We had a client doing a verydifficult loan, so he was having
(13:19):
to do a non-QM loan.
For those of you who are notfamiliar, that means
non-qualified mortgage and itdoesn't fall under the standard
Fannie Mae Freddie Mac rules ofplay.
And so it was a bank statementloan product.
Because he's self-employed andeverything was fine.
We went in for clear to closeand, for whatever reason we
(13:40):
believe it was actually aboutthe interest rate we had locked
in at because the market hadshifted the underwriter decided
to climb the file.
Do they have full authority?
Erin Gray (13:49):
to do that.
Jax Crider (13:50):
They do, okay, they do so they could be clear to
close.
Erin Gray (13:53):
I mean clear to close is like within a couple, like a
week, right, Like that's pretty, like you have that information
.
Pretty, maybe a couple of weeks.
Jax Crider (14:01):
If the lending institution is good, we usually
try to have the clear to closeat least two to four days prior
to close, but it doesn't happenlater than you think of the
transaction.
So understand what happenedfirst is we got an approval.
We got a conditional approvalthat said, hey, as long as you
meet these conditions, you'regood.
Right, and they gave us thethumbs up.
So we were good, we met all theconditions.
(14:23):
But they just decided theydidn't like one little piece of
the paperwork and again, Ifirmly believe it was about the
numbers that the interest rateshad shifted negatively, so the
rates had gone up.
Erin Gray (14:35):
Meaning going up His interest rate was.
He's actually getting less.
He's going to have to pay less.
Yep A better deal.
Jax Crider (14:40):
That's right.
And so they were like heck, wedon't feel like this risk is
worth it.
And so the underwriter said nah, we're just going to get rid of
it.
Well, I mean, this guy has awhole bunch of money out there
and a whole bunch of money onthe line.
And so what did my team do?
Not only did we have to shiftit to another company another
that's why we're a broker wecould shift it and move it over
(15:01):
to somewhere else.
We actually end up getting himas close as we could to the rake
From where I told you, the rateincreased to not hit him
because technically, it wasn'this fault.
I mean, it wasn't ours either,but it doesn't matter.
We did right by the client tomake sure to not only hold this
longstanding relationship, butalso to make sure that we
mitigated some of what he wouldhave gotten hit with right.
(15:23):
And so the ability to pivot isa huge factor, right?
The other thing that I willtell you is it is so, so, so, so
important that the personyou're working with ask you
questions up front, because,remember, we were just literally
talking about an underwriterand their ability to make or
break those deals.
I always tell my clients.
(15:45):
It's like this we're painting apicture and we need the picture
to be complete and even thoughsome of the things in our lives
might not be pretty right Likewe had a little snafu or we had
a job loss, like a little gapright, or we totally blitzed and
forgot to make a payment on acredit card or whatever it is
it's not that that is a big deal, because an underwriter is a
(16:07):
human and can understand thatsometimes life happens.
We need to paint a completepicture and we need to be on the
same page and you have to betransparent with us and we have
to be transparent with you.
And if those things aren'thappening, I will tell you nine
times out of ten, when thingscome at the end of the day, it's
because somebody hid somethingup front and I will tell you.
(16:29):
You think you can get away withit.
I promise you.
I literally wrote the book onit, mortgage 101, a Secret Sauce
of Home.
Buying that book.
I actually give several exampleswhere, like, people tried not
to listen or they tried to do ittheir own way or hide something
, and guess what?
Because we run a battery ofreports.
This is something that a lot ofpeople don't realize.
(16:50):
You know we run reports.
I don't think you know to theextent of the reports we run.
We run a fraud report has yourname and this is any like there
are going to be other peoplewith your exact name.
Did they pull up on fraudreport and then we have to
cross-reference to see is itactually you or is it some other
person with your name?
We run reports to see if youown any other properties and a
(17:12):
lot of times this is where a momor dad threw you on the title
to something and you may noteven have really realized it All
of a sudden.
Guess what it?
Erin Gray (17:20):
perks up or credit cards.
I had my ex-husband actually hedidn't know we were, we, I
think we were actually trying toget a house, I think that's
what how it came out and werealized that his mom had been
using his credit cardsunbeknownst to him and did not
pay them, or they had a line.
I mean like we're not talkinglike $100.
We're talking like thousands,maybe tens of thousands of
(17:42):
dollars.
We found that out.
Jax Crider (17:43):
So, yeah, you'd be surprised.
I mean, and so literally, youhave to trust us implicitly.
And if you don't, if you aren'twilling to share this
information, I'm going to tellyou no matter how wonderful the
lender is, you should considerfinding one that you do trust,
that you can lay bare to,because the truth is is that,
(18:05):
first of all, we don't usuallyget to decide what pieces of
information we need.
We get told right.
Also, understand that thebetter the lender, the better
like understanding, the more ofthe expert they are, the less of
that chaos.
You see, I can guarantee youthere's somebody who's listening
to this podcast right now whosaid to themselves man, I felt
(18:26):
like they asked me for 4,000pieces of documentation.
The reason that happened isnumber one they didn't ask you
enough questions up front.
Number two, when the chaosstarted happening on the back
end and all these question marksstarted popping up, the lender
did not push back at all theloan officer.
They didn't say, hey, you don'tactually need that.
(18:46):
You have this piece ofinformation.
We can make an inference here,and my team does that the back
end, we will push back on youand we will say hey, not to say
that we will not get theunderwriter what they need?
We will.
We will get the underwriterwhat they need, but we are not
afraid to say, hey, in ourexperience we've used this, this
should be sufficient.
Yes, the underwriter will belike oh yeah, you know what
(19:09):
You're right?
Right, because, again, they'rehumans too and they're working
through 800 different files andtrying to, you know, go down,
and so sometimes they throw someconditions into the mix that
are maybe a little bitunnecessary, and so we're
protecting you from that.
It's actually why PBJ Mortgagewas born.
We're making mortgage simple.
Simple is making a peanutbutter jelly sandwich.
(19:30):
We wanted it to be as simple asyou just following steps and
trusting us, so that the chaosdoes not come into your life.
It's already a stressfulprocess.
You do not need more stressadded to the transaction.
It's just unnecessary.
Erin Gray (19:44):
I want to go back and say something that you said you
know like about hiding, and Iwant to say to each of you that
are listening, I think that thiscomes down to our emotions.
Right, we hide from things whenwe feel shame and guilt.
And Jax and I have had severalconversations offline about
money, and I mean she helps herclients with money, I help my
clients with money.
It's ultimately all aboutemotions, is really?
(20:05):
I mean, it's it's numbers, butit's really emotions.
And so if you are hidingsomething or you feel for what,
if I'm being completely honest,which I always am, what always
comes up for me is thatinadequacy.
That is what I feel, the notgood enough or the not.
I mean, it doesn't matter whatthe numbers are.
Still not enough is what, andwhich is ultimately lack, which
(20:27):
you know.
That's what I work on, but Ithink for a lot of us, right
Like we, we fantasize that allof these other people have all
their shit together and we'rethe only ones that you know
think that we are like a messand number one, not true?
And and I'm sure Jax can attestto how many thousands of loan
applications she's seen likeright Like we all have our
(20:48):
things and I think that when youcan, I would advise that before
you actually like, even in theprocess, but like really get get
clear and and work through someof that emotional stuff,
because it's coming up, becauseit needs to be released and
processed, and so, like you cando that.
(21:11):
When I say on your own, what Imean is like if you're feeling
that before you go into aconversation with your lender,
right, you need to like journalit or like I mean I was even
feeling that we recently, youknow, purchased a car and I was
having some, I was like, nope,before I fill out my application
, I am going to like I'm goingto shift this energy, right.
And then I went into the energyof like, no, you would be lucky
(21:33):
, I have paid everything on time, all the time, you know.
And so it's just that it's thatmindset that we have around,
fear and shame and guilt that wehave with money and I want each
of you to know that you are notalone, we all experience it and
also like telling yourself moreempowering things to go into
(21:54):
lending from that space.
Jax Crider (21:56):
Well, I'm like you, I'm incredibly honest and I will
tell you guys.
So, first of all, life is allabout living in alignment and
understand that when you'remaking decisions, they're not
all going to work out accordingas planned.
It's just, that is just the way, and so you can't hold shame
and guilt.
I mean Erin knows my personalsituation.
Like, we have this bigcalculated risk that my husband
(22:18):
and I took in real estate on aproperty, and it's not
necessarily that the risk hasn'tpaid off, but the entire
scenario where life just kind ofstarted lifing has really
basically put my husband and Iin a financial turmoil that is
huge, I mean to the point wherewe're practically bankrupt.
Okay, just to be verytransparent with your audience
(22:40):
and understand that I have twochoices here I can sit in shame
and be like oh my gosh, right,like I'm supposed to be the
expert in the space, like howcould I get myself here right?
Or I can know that there was alot of pieces of this puzzle,
some of which were outside of mycontrol, right, and all I can
do is control myself, myemotions, what's going on inside
(23:01):
of me, to make and bridge thegap right and move forward in
the best way that I can, and itactually was going to bring me
to.
One of the points I wanted totalk about, too, is strategy,
because I agree with youOftentimes, when we start having
feelings about the stuffbubbling up, we need to step
back and we need to be a littlebit more strategic.
We need to ensure that we arein alignment.
(23:24):
We need to understand because Ijokingly say that anytime you
come to me and you want topurchase a house, the answer is
not no.
It may be not now, but it's notno, and we can pretty much
figure out or educate you.
Get through almost anythingyou've got.
So, as opposed to sittingyourself in shame and wasting
time and valuable resources ofenergy right Of sitting in the
(23:48):
guilt and the shame, instead,take some time for yourself,
really step back and then pickan expert that is going to be
empathetic, that's going tounderstand that sometimes stuff
happens right.
It just is what it is.
Those people will be in yourcorner.
They will show you how to fixit.
They will show you what needsto happen to make your dreams a
(24:09):
reality, but not if you're tooafraid to ask the question, to
put yourself out there.
Whatever I mean, I literallyspend so many hours creating not
only content for the podcastvideos for my other YouTube
channel lead magnets, as well asbooks and resources to show
(24:31):
people, hey, like there iseducation out there, like you
can get a little bit down thepath and then find that expert,
and that's what you have to do.
So I just wanted to make surethat I let you know, like, hey,
me too right, like I have hadsome challenges too.
Me too right, like I have hadsome challenges too.
And it doesn't mean that youcan't be hugely successful or
exactly where you want to beright.
(24:51):
You just have to be not afraidto take the step.
Erin Gray (24:55):
Yeah, I think one.
Thank you for sharing that,because I think a lot of I mean
our forefathers like they wroteit into the constitution, right.
Fathers, you know, like theywrote it into the constitution,
right.
So it's not.
It's not a um I think thatthere have been people that do
that, do experience bankruptcy.
There is this shame around it,right, but the depending on the
(25:16):
energy that you went into itwith right, and if you go into
it with the energy of like I'mbetting on myself, I'm doing the
thing Like that's really what.
I think that that that was whythat was written into the
constitution.
Right Is is to allow for risktakers, and I don't think women,
by and large, are huge risktakers, and that is one thing
(25:36):
that I have seen and I havenoticed in myself, and that is
something that I've really beenworking through, because you
know, like if you want to livethis big, boisterous, amazing,
vibrant, like all the thingslife like you are going, like it
involves risk, right, andsometimes that means it doesn't
work out the way you thought itwould, but God's spirit source
(25:58):
has a better plan for you and itwill work out however he wants
it to.
Right.
And so I think, being willingand I'm not saying, you know,
bet it all on the house.
I'm not saying that either butI am saying, like you have to be
willing right To, like you, youand your husband Jack's like
you were willing to take thatrisk If you even want to call it
a risk right, like you were.
(26:20):
I like to look at it as like youare investing in yourself and
in your future and you'velearned lessons along the way
and you'll come out and you'llbe fine and you'll, you know,
make different decisions, or thesame decision, but a different
way, like.
And so I just think that, aswomen, how can we, what would
you advise to empower them to beto bet on themselves more Like
(26:41):
we bet on, we bet on ourchildren's education, we bet on
our retirement 401k or our stepaccount, or we bet on, we bet on
our children's education, webet on our retirement 401k or
our SEP account, or we bet onall of these external things.
And we don't.
We haven't always developedthat skillset of betting on
ourselves Success or somenonsense like this.
Jax Crider (27:00):
And then I was like, man, I don't, I don't even like
, like what the heck I'm evencreating over here, like this
life that I'm living, like, whyam I even making these choices?
And so you can't be afraid, nomatter what it is, mortgage or
otherwise.
Right to ask the questions, todig deep, to find community.
Who is going to give youperspective, without guilt or
(27:24):
shame, because that's different.
Somebody pushing back on youwith perspective and trying to
say, hey, erin, I need you tosee that this is how this is
right, or this is something thatyou might want to take a look
at or consider, versus somebodysaying, erin, what are you
stupid Like, why in the worldwould you do it that way?
This is clearly the only wayyou should do it.
(27:45):
Like that's not the know what Imean, that's not the way.
And so, um, and you just haveto trust in yourself.
And I feel like, as women, Idon't know why this is.
I think part of the reasonsometimes we feel like men
succeed higher than us isbecause we are constantly
doubting ourselves.
It's like society and ourfamilies and everybody have put
this unnecessary pressure on,and men are like, oh, I failed,
(28:10):
okay, whatever.
And they just like move on onthe path.
And so the truth is is we needto take a little bit of a page
from that playbook and realizelike we're going to stumble and
we're going to fall and it's sodifferent than we teach our
toddler or our kids Okay, youfell, right.
Like be in all the feels for aminute, be upset and emotional
and whatever you need to feel.
Let it all out.
But then let's not beatourselves up about it, like get
(28:33):
back up and move on down thepath, right.
And so I definitely have tolearn that more than I'd like
over the last couple of years,but in a weird way it's made me
better at being able to share mystory and give more women
permission to step intothemselves.
Like wow, she came from thislike horrible, crazy financial
situation and she allowed it tonot break her.
(28:53):
Mind you, I am still behind thescenes, struggling at moments,
crying, being upset.
You know what I mean.
But on the same token, I stillknow it's not a representation
of me personally, it's not apersonal failure and I don't
need to take it or hold it assuch.
Erin Gray (29:12):
Yes, I think what we do is we internalize it and we
make the circumstance meansomething about us, and it means
nothing about us.
We literally have the power tomake it mean whatever we want it
to mean.
So if that is true, which Ibelieve it is, then choose it in
an empowering way to fuel youtowards next thing, versus to to
draw you back into your shelland to not take any more risks.
(29:35):
You said two things that Iwanted to go back to is, um, you
know, like working with peoplethat, um, empower you, that do
push back on maybe your mindset,cause I probably would be that
guy right, like I probably have.
I think we've always done like30 years, and then I moved it to
15 and then I moved it to seven, right, and so I was doing that
kind of thing, and so it isimportant to have people that
push back on you and you weresaying, you know, but not the
(29:57):
ones that with the shame and theguilt and I always advise
clients in in on the podcastit's like we don't have to
tolerate body talking down tous- and.
I think a lot of people, a lotof people do.
It's almost like, well, I havethis amount of years with my CPA
and it's going to be air quotes, difficult to find someone.
(30:17):
It's like, yeah, but that'sworth it.
Right, that is worth it to gofind someone to treat you well,
to have people on your team.
And the other thing I thinkabout is I think that just as
the more money you make, justthe numbers just get bigger in
terms of risk, right.
Like.
So, a risk to somebody who'snever taken a risk might be a
couple thousand dollars ofinvesting in themselves, right,
(30:39):
somebody who's taken millions ofdollars of risk, their risk
might need to be tens, 1500million.
So I think it's all relative andI think that it's just like I
want to to, to challenge, or foryou to ponder you know where is
my risk, where is my next step?
I shouldn't say risk Where's mynext step, where's my next
(31:00):
growth?
And like am I doing that or amI shying away from it?
And you'll know by how you feelin your body.
You know, like, if you're doingthat from a place of um
pressure, or you feel like youhave to, or that's very
different energy than like no,this is what I want, this is my
heart's desire.
Um, I want to do this, but itfeels a little bit uncomfortable
(31:21):
.
That's a go sign If it's, youknow, I feel like I have to, or
someone's telling me I should,which we hear.
Like you were saying, jack'sabout everyone telling us what
we should and shouldn't be doing, or how we should invest, or
all these things that we hearreally got to tap back into
yourself.
So that brings me to the pointof, like, real estate investing.
I have women that want to getinto real estate investing and,
(31:42):
of course, the question is Idon't know how, which we never
know the how right, until afterit's all said and done.
But the desire is there and Ithink a lot of times they think
they have to have all the moneyfirst, and I'm always an
advocate of like no, you, youtake the step forward, you have,
you know, maybe it's a littlebit of the money, and then you,
(32:03):
you figure out how to createmore money.
It's not, let me have all mymoney, all my eggs, and then
I'll go figure out how to do itFor sure.
Jax Crider (32:11):
So, first of all, I think what you were describing
before is important for peopleto remember that in order to
live the most big, beautiful,wonderful life you want to live,
you have to expand yourcontainer.
You can only expand thatcontainer, you can only take
more on, if you are pushingyourself into the uncomfortable
and not the uncomfortable, likeyou pointed out, that somebody
else forced you into, but theuncomfortable that is a step
(32:35):
forward in the direction thatyou want to go, in alignment,
but also is not exactly like,like you don't know everything
right and it is like the moreyou force yourself into that,
the more you know, the betterthat you can do.
When it comes to investing,there is a lot of different ways
and strategies that people cando that Right, and so if they
(32:57):
know early on they want toinvest, they can try to make
their very first home Right,like they can turn that into an
investment.
For a lot of other people whodon't want to do that.
It sort of depends on how bigand bold you want to go right
from the rip.
There is a ton ofinvestment-styled loans that are
created, like, for instance I'mnot sure if you're familiar
(33:18):
with what's called DSCR loans.
Dscr stands for debt servicecredit ratio loans.
So basically, what's happeningis that you actually don't
qualify yourself.
It's the property that'squalifying.
So, yes, you typically do haveto have somewhere between 15 and
25% to put down of the propertyvalue, right?
(33:39):
But understand that, um, whatthey're doing an appraisal to
determine, um, what the actualrental amount would be and what
the payment is based off of, andthat's how it's being
determined, and it also can beprotected in an LLC.
So, like, the entire thing canbe done in an LLC and et cetera.
So you're not then riskingpotentially your personal
(34:00):
finances.
You're not, um, you knowputting other things on
something like that you know upat risk.
Um, if they don't, they're nottrying to do it all on their own
.
There are now groups that do it,you know.
So, like, maybe you have a fewfriends, two to five people and
you want to come togethercumulatively and start that LLC
and you want to come in and do aDSCR.
(34:22):
So that allows you now tooffset some of the risk that
you're holding right.
So there, there's tons ofdifferent ways that you can do
it.
I think the biggest questionyou have to ask is how involved
you want to be right To be ableto invest, because there's also
large companies that do realestate investing, where you're
putting a percent of money, likeinto a group, and you're just
(34:45):
receiving dividends from them.
One of the ones that's mostfamously known right now is like
Grant Cardone.
That's one of the things hedoes is basically you take some
of the money and you place itwith them and they're investing
it specifically in real estateholdings.
The real estate holding- Like aREIT or-.
Kind of yeah, they're basicallyin their own thing, certain
different kinds, and there'sones that are not as big as him.
(35:06):
He's just like an examplebecause he has a huge one, but,
like I know a friend of mine,they have a group and they do
nothing but that.
So they basically say, hey,we're going to go in and we're
going to buy one or twoapartment complexes and now
everybody's capital investmentis going to be X, y, z dollars
and then you're going to receivedividends on this amount or
whatever, and they have theportfolio to prove that.
(35:28):
They know, you know, know howto do the math and all that.
So involvement is going to be ahuge deal because you need to
kind of decide.
Are we looking like on a reallymore traditional path, like
we're trying to build a realestate portfolio?
We are, either we are thelandlord or we're finding
somebody, a property managementcompany, to manage a real estate
investment.
That's like probably the moretraditional path and you can use
(35:49):
either.
A lot of people will like buy aprimary home.
They will go, and that allowsthem to put less money down.
For those of you who arewondering why, it's because of a
risk factor and so they have toput less money down.
They may only have to put fiveor 10% down right versus a 20 or
more percent down, and so thenthey'll live there for a year or
so and then they move out of it, they move in another property,
(36:11):
turn that into a rental.
So there's like theseparticular kind of ways, or,
like I said, you can do DSCRloans.
These are more traditionalpaths.
Or you can go and you can findthese groups who are doing a
little non traditionally.
They're sort of coming as acollective and they're pooling
money together to be able topurchase real estate in that way
.
So lots of unique situations.
(36:34):
It just depends on, I would say, involvement is really the
bigger question, and capitalinvestment, right, like how much
are you willing to pony up forthis particular investment?
The market right now.
The thing to keep in mind is wehave been in a seller's market
for almost five years and thisis the first time in over five
years we have not.
(36:54):
We are in a very much a buyer'smarket, and so for investors,
this is music to their earsbecause it means that they can
go in and negotiate, they canget money off or whatever, or,
if they have a significant poolof cash, go in and buy maybe
four or five, six homes rightfrom a builder or something like
that, and so lots ofopportunity exists if it is
(37:17):
something that is exciting tosomebody to look into.
Again, I'll just say that it'sabout alignment.
So you have to ask yourselvesbefore you step into anything
like that, just step back andsay is this a path that I want
to take?
How involved do I want to be?
How much money, capital do Iwant to give up?
And then just kind of stepbackwards that way.
(37:38):
Hopefully, that kind of gaveyou maybe a high level
understanding.
Erin Gray (37:42):
It's so good that you said that, because my husband
and I we were walking, we'd liketo walk downtown and the little
like areas I'm sure every smalltown or not small town, but
every like downtown area has itLike we had it when we were in
Austin right, it's like theselittle pockets of like homes
that have been renovated and,and you know um, are either
being sold or rented, and wewere talking about getting, you
(38:02):
know, back into real estate,investing and talk about
alignment jacks.
You know, he was like thatwould be something I would do
and I was like, hang on a second, like do I Aaron, aaron, aaron,
five years ago, that did all ofthat.
Sure, aaron, now I don't knowif that's energetically where I
want to spend my time, and youreally have to think of your
energy like a 360 degree circle,and there you know, the more
(38:24):
arrows that you have pointingout is the less energy that it
has going to that.
So if you have, you know, 40arrows pointing out versus three
arrows or one arrow right, likeenergetically.
And so just being really clear,like not making a decision from
money, because my mind wouldsay, oh yeah, there's so much
money to be made here.
(38:45):
Like I see it, this is and I'vesaid this before but Boise to
me reminds me of Austin 25 yearsago, and we and we know what
Austin looks like now.
Right, so the money is there tobe made, it's, it's.
Do I want to put my heart andmy energy there?
And I think I think you have tobe really clear on that, like
(39:06):
what you're saying, because themind will want to take over.
You really clear on that, likewhat you're saying, because the
mind will want to take over andbecause we value, as a society,
money making money so much thatwe don't actually check in with
our hearts to be like, yeah, butdo I want to?
And the energy that you entersomething in is the energy that
it's going to come out.
Right?
So you, if I were doing it froma place of just making money,
(39:27):
I'm probably going to have lotsof problems.
I'm probably going to have allof these things that show up,
because the energy isn't from atrue heart's desire, it's more
of a like okay, I could just,you know, make some quick money.
Jax Crider (39:39):
Well, you also aren't necessarily going to have
the wherewithal to continue,because remind yourself that,
regardless of how well things goat some point in life is going
to life and it's going to throwa wrench.
Right when I was going back andI was explaining to you on the
back end, all these potentialwrenches that can get thrown If
you don't love what you arepicking and choosing to invest
in and be a part of, and and putyour time and your energy and
(40:02):
your money and all these thingsinto, then what's going to
happen is when things gosideways or when you, you know,
when things don't go accordingto plan, well, guess what's
going to happen?
You're going to be like, oh see, I knew this was going to
happen, right.
Like it's almost like youprojected that energy, like you
said, into the mid at the onset,right?
It's why I firmly believe inyou and I've had some
(40:24):
conversations that peopleshouldn't solely just invest in,
like maybe the stock market.
I'm not saying that you don'tmake those investments.
If that's something, that isgood, but if you have other
places of alignment, right, ifyou've got other avenues that
really light you up, probablywhatever is lighting you up is
going to be the path that youshould be walking down and
trusting what I say.
I love my family very dearly andthey're amazing, amazing people
(40:46):
.
But we are very loud, veryopinionated individuals amazing
people.
But we are very loud, veryopinionated individuals and my
family does not understand a lotof my path with what I'm doing
in the education financial space.
Right, like you know that Ihave another company, financial
Mastery Simplified, which isvery heavy education.
It's about overcoming moneyblocks and a lot of these
(41:07):
aspects that I find causechallenges, and not just the
mortgage space but like anoverall financial success, and
my family doesn't get it.
I mean, my mom literally saidto me she goes.
You know, I think it's greatthat you want to do that, but I
just don't think people care.
You know what I mean and like.
So sometimes we have tounderstand that just because it
lights us up and just because itexcites us and it gets us going
(41:27):
, doesn't mean that the rest ofthe world's even going to
understand, like, what it isthat we're doing.
Right, it's kind of like whenyou go into a house I don't know
if any of you have ever hadthis experience and you walk in
and it just it's like it feelslike home and you can't explain
it.
And maybe it has the ugliestcolored paint on the outside and
(41:48):
you're like thinking in yourbrain, your brain, man, I'm
about to spend like 30 grandrepaint this dang house, but you
know what I mean?
Like you just can't explain itlike that.
That is the thing I mean.
It's the same thing with withinvestments.
I, I, I think and I think,unfortunately, in our space,
people are only ever dialing inon the dollars and I'm not
saying that.
The math of the math, guys, themath is important, okay, and
you do have to understand it.
You need to to understand in abroader perspective, how the
(42:10):
general math works, but itdoesn't mean that it has to be
the only decision factor.
When you are making choices,big financial choices like
mortgage, like investing, likeall these things right, these
are big financial choices youneed to make sure, first and
foremost, you're making them inalignment and that you are not
(42:30):
making them out of fear or guiltor shame or any of these kinds
of places.
Erin Gray (42:34):
Yeah, I love that.
What else do you want to addthat maybe I didn't ask you, or
I mean, I know we could go onand riff forever, but is there
anything based on what I havethat we have talked about, that
you want to add to?
Jax Crider (42:47):
Yeah, the one thing.
So there's two really quickpoints that I'll make.
So for any of you who are maybein the process of either
looking to purchase a house ormaybe that's going to be down
the path here fairly quickly,there is a product that we
actually give to any andeverybody, like we pay for it as
a company, pvj Mortgage Paysfor it and basically it will
help you look at like exactlywhere your credit score is, like
(43:08):
the actual mortgage score, notthese crazy credit scores and
all these other companiespretend is your actual credit
score what mortgage is actuallylooking at.
Okay, it'll also help youunderstand how ready you are
like on your other financialsand you can put as much or as
little into it.
Right, you can share as much ora little information.
Like I can't go in there andlike be like, ooh, what's
(43:29):
Aaron's like every situation?
No, it's not like that.
So that's super helpful thingIf you are in the phase of life
where you are dealing with kidsthat are either going to college
or going very soon.
Aaron and I are on the same pageon this.
We actually talked about maybedoing another podcast episode
specifically in relation to this, but make sure that you are
having guys with your kiddosabout money and making sure that
(43:51):
you're not setting them up forfailure in their financial
future or throwing a grenade inyour own life because you felt
the guilt and shame societallythat you need to be pushing them
down a particular path.
And I actually have somethingthat I'll give Aaron the link to
, where it just kind of helpsyou understand, like how to open
these conversations up, how tobe having them at the dinner
(44:14):
table, because that's thebiggest thing.
You're not a rock, just like arock didn't fall out of the sky
and hit you on the head when youturned 18 and you were trying
to figure out money.
It's the same thing for yourkids, and so I get it.
You don't feel prepared, youdon't feel like you know what
the heck you're talking about.
This is kind of to help you,you know kind of ease into some
of these conversations, and so Ijust encourage you in
(44:36):
everything you do financially,live in alignment.
I know that is what Erinpreaches and it's why she and I
are so aligned and we likecollaborating, because it is so,
so important, especially aswomen.
We've not been empowered fortoo long, and so now's the time.
Take back your power.
Don't let anybody else hold itfinancially.
Erin Gray (44:54):
Yeah, I love that you said that about the kids,
because I have a lot of peoplethat ask, like, how do I teach
them when I'm still figuring itout?
And it's like you're theperfect person, right Like?
You just start talking aboutmoney.
I mean, I have clients thatnever talked about money because
their parents never talkedabout money.
And then I have clients likemyself too.
You know, it's like work wherefinances were this like
(45:15):
conflicting, yelling, arguing,right, so you're just learning
and you're talking about it andyou're normalizing, just having
conversations about money andnot being emotionally charged
and saying to your kid you knowwhat, I'm figuring it out along
the way and being real andtransparent, because that that
is what.
That is what they're actuallylooking for.
And they pay attention toenergy too, right Like.
So it's okay to say you knowwhat?
(45:41):
I don't have it figured all outyet, but I am moving forward
and I am looking at thingsdifferently and I mean I even
have to like pause, you know,tell my kid like, hang on a
second, I don't want to makethis rush decision, I want to be
actually have time to thinkabout it, and it's okay to tell
our kids that you know so, um,so, yeah, I love it.
Thank you, jax, for coming on,for sharing your time with us.
Yeah, Okay, until next time.
Welcome back to your Money, your Rules podcast.
On the podcast today, I have aspecial guest for you.
I invited Jacqueline Kreider,or you might hear me refer to
her as Jax.
She and I share similar valuesin regard to empowering women to
trust themselves and theirintuition.
We also think outside the boxwhen it comes to finance.
(00:23):
Jax is the founder of PBJMortgage, where she simplifies
the mortgage process for buyerswho want more than just a loan.
They actually want a plan andshe also leads Financial Mastery
Simplified, which is a coachingand education platform that
helps women and professionalsrewrite their money stories and
(00:45):
build financial lives thatactually work for them.
With over two decades infinance, a law degree and a bold
mission to disrupt outdatedmoney rules which I love,
because that is absolutely whatI stand for Jax equips her
clients to ditch fear-baseddecisions and step into
financial freedom on their ownterms.
I hope that you enjoy listeningto this conversation as much as
(01:09):
I did having it, so let's divein.
Thanks, jax, for being here, ofcourse.
Jax Crider (01:17):
Thank you for having me.
Erin Gray (01:19):
So I want to talk about because I think, from the
lens I love like pickingpeople's brains from the back
end of and sharing and it kindof exposing for lack of a better
word of what you see on yourend.
So tell me, because I thinkmost of my listeners have had
mortgages and for a lot of us wewould probably think now we
(01:44):
might think a mortgage is amortgage is a mortgage, or a
lender is a lender is a lender,and also we've had lenders or
mortgage companies who have beenvery fun to deal with and we
have had some who have not been.
So tell me kind of what yourapproach to mortgage lending is,
how it's kind of different thanmaybe what mainstream kind of
(02:05):
tells us or teaches us whatmortgage lending is.
Jax Crider (02:09):
So first of all, I will start by saying I've done
all the things in lending, solike if there's pretty much a
job in lending, I've done it.
I've been an underwriter, aprocessor, mortgage compliance.
I hold a law degree, but mostof my career has been spent in
origination.
For those of you who are notfamiliar with what origination
is, it's basically the personwho's a front runner, talking to
you and setting up your loan tobe able to get it made right.
(02:34):
So it's a loan officer personright.
That has mainly been my periodof expertise and I will tell you
it's not entirely your faultthat you think that all lenders
are created equal, becausereally big players in our game
have convinced you that the onlything that matters in the
mortgage space is interest rate.
I actually did an entirepodcast episode myself on I
(02:58):
actually don't think it was apodcast episode, I think it was
just for my channel, like my PBJMortgage TV about interest rate
and why it's important.
But it is not the only thingthat matters, and so let me kind
of explain why the lender thatyou use really can kind of, I
guess, make or break yourprocess.
So first of all, understandthat not all lenders are created
(03:19):
equal in how much experience wehold right.
So, loans there are, first ofall, hundreds of different kinds
of loan types.
So I guarantee you you've heardof the big ones, right.
You've heard conventional,you've heard FHA, you've heard
DA, you may have heard of USDA,you've heard of jumbo.
These are probably the onesyou've heard of.
(03:41):
What you don't understand isthat there's products that are
underlying each of these buckets.
That's one thing, and thenthere are even more nuanced.
So there's like weird specialtyproducts, non-qm loans, like
there's all these differentkinds of loan types and products
.
And so I think a lot of peoplehave this idea when they're
buying a house, because they'retrying to equate it to the most
(04:04):
similar experience they've everhad.
It's similar to buying a car.
Car loans there's really only acouple of options, right,
mortgage loans.
If you disseminate it down tothe amount of different choices
we can offer you on interestrate, the amount of different
programs we can offer you, theamount of different lengths of
time that you can take out theloan for, right, so 30, 20, or
(04:26):
15, 10, all these differentkinds of combination, you
literally have millions andmillions of combinations of
choices that we can offer you.
And so if you don't have anyexperience utilizing all those
different program types, reallydisseminating down and
understanding the unique profileof each and every person, it's
(04:47):
super hard to be able to giveclear and actionable advice.
And so what happens is thelending person is probably just
going to take the path of leastresistance and whatever it is
you say you want, they're justgoing to give it to you.
So if you say, great, I wantthe lowest interest rate, even
if that interest rate may not bethe best choice for your
(05:08):
financial needs, they're justgoing to provide it for you
because it's the path of leastresistance.
It means that they get the saleand so that's what they care
about.
Right, and I firmly believethat that should not be the case
.
Each person is unique.
You have unique needs.
It is my job to not onlydisseminate what those are but
(05:30):
also push back on you if you aremaking what I believe might be
a wrong step.
Right, so it's still going tobe your choice.
I want to empower you to makethat call, but if I have more
information than you do which Ido I need to be able to do my
fiduciary responsibility ofsaying, hey, have you considered
(05:51):
this?
You should maybe look at this.
This is why and unfortunately alot of people in my space they
only see the dollar signs whenthey enter a mortgage.
They don't really care as muchabout the individual, and that
makes me very sad, first of all,and then second of all, it just
yields a lot of people notunderstanding their process, not
(06:13):
being informed and not makingeducate, empower decisions, and
it is what my brand is all aboutand why I even started in the
first place.
Erin Gray (06:22):
Yeah, you touched on something that is really
important to me as a consumer.
Is, you said, knowledge or time?
You know, time in motiondoesn't necessarily equate
knowledge, right?
Because someone could stay in asomeone could stay somewhere and
not learn.
But you and I have hadconversations offline and I've
been on your podcast and we'vehad conversations around that
and it's it's important and Ithink that you do right, like
(06:43):
you have the knowledge and youcare and that is something that
a quarter of a point or you know.
Like it's you're paying for theknowledge and the expertise of
someone, even though you'restill going to run it back
through your own intuition andcheck your decision-making.
But, like what you said, right,when someone knows more than
you, it's like I have clientsthat say all this all the time
(07:05):
Like I don't know what, I don'tknow, and it's like, yeah, then
you want to be working and havea team of people that are going
to advise you about things thatthey have seen on their backend
that you might never even thinkabout.
And I also think with lending,it's very similar to what you
kind of said to realty.
It's like it might be easy toget into, like the barrier to
(07:27):
entry is very easy, kind of likecoaching, like I think anybody
could just be a coach, right,but like what are your tools in
your toolkit?
What experiences have you seen?
What have you done and how haveyou service clients?
I think is so important becauseI think a lot of times, also as
the consumer, we think that wehave to go with this mortgage
company.
There's been several times thatwe have bought houses and the
(07:50):
realtor wants to go work withthis mortgage company or lending
company and I'm like absolutelynot Right.
And so just having knowing thisand knowing you have a choice
with your lending company, evenif it's not where your realtor
goes with, and I have workedwith mortgage companies who have
(08:12):
fumbled the ball, even though Ihave been calling myself, you
know, and I've also worked withlending companies who have
closed our home in less than sixdays.
So it's just, it's.
It all goes back to like doyour due diligence.
And also, like what you'resaying, it's not all about the
money.
Right, money does matter, butat the end of the day, the
relationship because I I thinkabout it this way too is like
(08:33):
you're probably not going to buyjust one home your entire life,
and so you want someone that'sgoing to grow with you and to
expand and to advise you as yougrow your assets and you assets
and step into differentmortgages and change houses or
rental properties or whatever itmight be.
Jax Crider (08:50):
Well, I'll give you a perfect example of exactly
this.
So your patterns that you don'teven realize you create
financially, they show up places.
So we had a client one timewho's referred to us and we
started talking to them and hewas adamant that he wanted a
30-year fixed interest rate.
Okay, perfect, no problem,right?
Because, of course, arm loans,or adjustable rate mortgages for
those of you who don'tunderstand that that's an
(09:12):
acronym got a really bad rapright, and the 08-09 crash.
Lots of people startedbelieving that they were kind of
the devil and this is ahorrible product.
Historically speaking, theyactually perform better than
fixed rate mortgages, like overthe course of time, but they
don't fit everybody's situation.
Okay, and so we were reviewinghis credit report and what you
(09:33):
could see was a clear patternthat every two to three years,
he either refinanced or sold ahouse Literally, I mean, it was
on his credit report Boom, boom,boom boom.
So I challenged his viewpointand we said okay, so I totally
understand.
You want a 30-year fixed rateof interest.
That's great, that's awesome.
Why?
Well, because I don't want todeal with an adjustable rate
loan.
Okay, that's fair.
(09:53):
Do you understand that there aresuch things called fixed period
arms, which means that it isfixed for a period of time,
usually three, five or sevenyears and then after this period
, it does adjust.
There's very specific numbersthat determine these adjustments
.
We can explain them to you, butI will tell you, historically
speaking, from your own creditprofile, you show that you
(10:15):
usually only keep this loan forthis long, so you actually are
going to pay a higher interestrate by doing this than taking
this RM product.
I understand from yourperspective that in your mind
that is a riskier product.
It is, but it's a calculatedrisk, right, and so I'm not
telling you to do it.
I'm telling you you should takeit into consideration, based on
(10:37):
your own profile of how youspend and use money.
This is not Jack saying, oh, Iwant to push my client into an
arm loan.
This is me looking at yoursituation and saying this might
be something you want to takeinto consideration, and
unfortunately, a lot of peopleagain, because they just want
(10:57):
the money.
They're not going to challengethe viewpoint of the consumer
and in my mind, a great expertdoes that.
It is my job to give you adifferent perspective, to give
you a different viewpoint andthen trust that I gave you the
information and that you knowyourself well enough to say you
know, I think this is what fitsme and my family, or no, I still
(11:19):
want to go with what I wantedoriginally.
Great, I don't struck the checklike you do, that's fine.
I just want to make sure thatyou have the information so you
can make a well-informed choice.
Erin Gray (11:30):
Yeah, what do you see ?
Like, if you were to think of,like the top three things that
you see on your end in your backoffice that maybe we as the
consumer aren't aware of, that,you'd be like, oh I, if I could
tell you three things to payattention to, these are the
three.
I mean, I'm sure there'sprobably way more than that, but
like, what are the top threethat come to mind?
Jax Crider (11:49):
So I will tell you, first of all, what most people
don't realize is how many peopleare actually involved in a real
estate transaction.
There are a ton of them, andthe one thing that's super
important to remember is thelending institution.
We are the central point ofthat.
In essence, you can think of usas sort of the ringleader of
the circus, so we're trying tomake sure that everything is
(12:11):
going on right, that each act iscoming on as they're supposed
to and that people aren'tthrowing wrenches.
And we joke all the time thatif everybody did their part in
the transaction and didn't throwany wrenches, man, we could
close millions of transactions amonth.
It would be easy peasy.
But unfortunately, life belifing and humans be humaning,
and so that doesn't exactly goaccording to plan.
(12:33):
And so the challenge is is thatif you don't have somebody who
can pivot and understand and haswe usually have plan B, c, d,
we usually have a couple of themor if we don't have those plans
, you also know, like Erin, look, here's the situation.
This is a very difficult file,like you understand.
You know, here are thechallenges, here's how we're
(12:56):
combating them.
Like we're very transparent,and what you have to understand
is is like if you don't not onlynot have the knowledge on the
back end to make these thingsfly, but also if you don't have
a team that has the ability topivot, it can really bite you in
the rear end.
And I'll give you a very recentexample.
We had a client doing a verydifficult loan, so he was having
(13:19):
to do a non-QM loan.
For those of you who are notfamiliar, that means
non-qualified mortgage and itdoesn't fall under the standard
Fannie Mae Freddie Mac rules ofplay.
And so it was a bank statementloan product.
Because he's self-employed andeverything was fine.
We went in for clear to closeand, for whatever reason we
(13:40):
believe it was actually aboutthe interest rate we had locked
in at because the market hadshifted the underwriter decided
to climb the file.
Do they have full authority?
Erin Gray (13:49):
to do that.
Jax Crider (13:50):
They do, okay, they do so they could be clear to
close.
Erin Gray (13:53):
I mean clear to close is like within a couple, like a
week, right, Like that's pretty, like you have that information
.
Pretty, maybe a couple of weeks.
Jax Crider (14:01):
If the lending institution is good, we usually
try to have the clear to closeat least two to four days prior
to close, but it doesn't happenlater than you think of the
transaction.
So understand what happenedfirst is we got an approval.
We got a conditional approvalthat said, hey, as long as you
meet these conditions, you'regood.
Right, and they gave us thethumbs up.
So we were good, we met all theconditions.
(14:23):
But they just decided theydidn't like one little piece of
the paperwork and again, Ifirmly believe it was about the
numbers that the interest rateshad shifted negatively, so the
rates had gone up.
Erin Gray (14:35):
Meaning going up His interest rate was.
He's actually getting less.
He's going to have to pay less.
Yep A better deal.
Jax Crider (14:40):
That's right.
And so they were like heck, wedon't feel like this risk is
worth it.
And so the underwriter said nah, we're just going to get rid of
it.
Well, I mean, this guy has awhole bunch of money out there
and a whole bunch of money onthe line.
And so what did my team do?
Not only did we have to shiftit to another company another
that's why we're a broker wecould shift it and move it over
(15:01):
to somewhere else.
We actually end up getting himas close as we could to the rake
From where I told you, the rateincreased to not hit him
because technically, it wasn'this fault.
I mean, it wasn't ours either,but it doesn't matter.
We did right by the client tomake sure to not only hold this
longstanding relationship, butalso to make sure that we
mitigated some of what he wouldhave gotten hit with right.
(15:23):
And so the ability to pivot isa huge factor, right?
The other thing that I willtell you is it is so, so, so, so
important that the personyou're working with ask you
questions up front, because,remember, we were just literally
talking about an underwriterand their ability to make or
break those deals.
I always tell my clients.
(15:45):
It's like this we're painting apicture and we need the picture
to be complete and even thoughsome of the things in our lives
might not be pretty right Likewe had a little snafu or we had
a job loss, like a little gapright, or we totally blitzed and
forgot to make a payment on acredit card or whatever it is
it's not that that is a big deal, because an underwriter is a
(16:07):
human and can understand thatsometimes life happens.
We need to paint a completepicture and we need to be on the
same page and you have to betransparent with us and we have
to be transparent with you.
And if those things aren'thappening, I will tell you nine
times out of ten, when thingscome at the end of the day, it's
because somebody hid somethingup front and I will tell you.
(16:29):
You think you can get away withit.
I promise you.
I literally wrote the book onit, mortgage 101, a Secret Sauce
of Home.
Buying that book.
I actually give several exampleswhere, like, people tried not
to listen or they tried to do ittheir own way or hide something
, and guess what?
Because we run a battery ofreports.
This is something that a lot ofpeople don't realize.
(16:50):
You know we run reports.
I don't think you know to theextent of the reports we run.
We run a fraud report has yourname and this is any like there
are going to be other peoplewith your exact name.
Did they pull up on fraudreport and then we have to
cross-reference to see is itactually you or is it some other
person with your name?
We run reports to see if youown any other properties and a
(17:12):
lot of times this is where a momor dad threw you on the title
to something and you may noteven have really realized it All
of a sudden.
Guess what it?
Erin Gray (17:20):
perks up or credit cards.
I had my ex-husband actually hedidn't know we were, we, I
think we were actually trying toget a house, I think that's
what how it came out and werealized that his mom had been
using his credit cardsunbeknownst to him and did not
pay them, or they had a line.
I mean like we're not talkinglike $100.
We're talking like thousands,maybe tens of thousands of
(17:42):
dollars.
We found that out.
Jax Crider (17:43):
So, yeah, you'd be surprised.
I mean, and so literally, youhave to trust us implicitly.
And if you don't, if you aren'twilling to share this
information, I'm going to tellyou no matter how wonderful the
lender is, you should considerfinding one that you do trust,
that you can lay bare to,because the truth is is that,
(18:05):
first of all, we don't usuallyget to decide what pieces of
information we need.
We get told right.
Also, understand that thebetter the lender, the better
like understanding, the more ofthe expert they are, the less of
that chaos.
You see, I can guarantee youthere's somebody who's listening
to this podcast right now whosaid to themselves man, I felt
(18:26):
like they asked me for 4,000pieces of documentation.
The reason that happened isnumber one they didn't ask you
enough questions up front.
Number two, when the chaosstarted happening on the back
end and all these question marksstarted popping up, the lender
did not push back at all theloan officer.
They didn't say, hey, you don'tactually need that.
(18:46):
You have this piece ofinformation.
We can make an inference here,and my team does that the back
end, we will push back on youand we will say hey, not to say
that we will not get theunderwriter what they need?
We will.
We will get the underwriterwhat they need, but we are not
afraid to say, hey, in ourexperience we've used this, this
should be sufficient.
Yes, the underwriter will belike oh yeah, you know what
(19:09):
You're right?
Right, because, again, they'rehumans too and they're working
through 800 different files andtrying to, you know, go down,
and so sometimes they throw someconditions into the mix that
are maybe a little bitunnecessary, and so we're
protecting you from that.
It's actually why PBJ Mortgagewas born.
We're making mortgage simple.
Simple is making a peanutbutter jelly sandwich.
(19:30):
We wanted it to be as simple asyou just following steps and
trusting us, so that the chaosdoes not come into your life.
It's already a stressfulprocess.
You do not need more stressadded to the transaction.
It's just unnecessary.
Erin Gray (19:44):
I want to go back and say something that you said you
know like about hiding, and Iwant to say to each of you that
are listening, I think that thiscomes down to our emotions.
Right, we hide from things whenwe feel shame and guilt.
And Jax and I have had severalconversations offline about
money, and I mean she helps herclients with money, I help my
clients with money.
It's ultimately all aboutemotions, is really?
(20:05):
I mean, it's it's numbers, butit's really emotions.
And so if you are hidingsomething or you feel for what,
if I'm being completely honest,which I always am, what always
comes up for me is thatinadequacy.
That is what I feel, the notgood enough or the not.
I mean, it doesn't matter whatthe numbers are.
Still not enough is what, andwhich is ultimately lack, which
(20:27):
you know.
That's what I work on, but Ithink for a lot of us, right
Like we, we fantasize that allof these other people have all
their shit together and we'rethe only ones that you know
think that we are like a messand number one, not true?
And and I'm sure Jax can attestto how many thousands of loan
applications she's seen likeright Like we all have our
(20:48):
things and I think that when youcan, I would advise that before
you actually like, even in theprocess, but like really get get
clear and and work through someof that emotional stuff,
because it's coming up, becauseit needs to be released and
processed, and so, like you cando that.
(21:11):
When I say on your own, what Imean is like if you're feeling
that before you go into aconversation with your lender,
right, you need to like journalit or like I mean I was even
feeling that we recently, youknow, purchased a car and I was
having some, I was like, nope,before I fill out my application
, I am going to like I'm goingto shift this energy, right.
And then I went into the energyof like, no, you would be lucky
(21:33):
, I have paid everything on time, all the time, you know.
And so it's just that it's thatmindset that we have around,
fear and shame and guilt that wehave with money and I want each
of you to know that you are notalone, we all experience it and
also like telling yourself moreempowering things to go into
(21:54):
lending from that space.
Jax Crider (21:56):
Well, I'm like you, I'm incredibly honest and I will
tell you guys.
So, first of all, life is allabout living in alignment and
understand that when you'remaking decisions, they're not
all going to work out accordingas planned.
It's just, that is just the way, and so you can't hold shame
and guilt.
I mean Erin knows my personalsituation.
Like, we have this bigcalculated risk that my husband
(22:18):
and I took in real estate on aproperty, and it's not
necessarily that the risk hasn'tpaid off, but the entire
scenario where life just kind ofstarted lifing has really
basically put my husband and Iin a financial turmoil that is
huge, I mean to the point wherewe're practically bankrupt.
Okay, just to be verytransparent with your audience
(22:40):
and understand that I have twochoices here I can sit in shame
and be like oh my gosh, right,like I'm supposed to be the
expert in the space, like howcould I get myself here right?
Or I can know that there was alot of pieces of this puzzle,
some of which were outside of mycontrol, right, and all I can
do is control myself, myemotions, what's going on inside
(23:01):
of me, to make and bridge thegap right and move forward in
the best way that I can, and itactually was going to bring me
to.
One of the points I wanted totalk about, too, is strategy,
because I agree with youOftentimes, when we start having
feelings about the stuffbubbling up, we need to step
back and we need to be a littlebit more strategic.
We need to ensure that we arein alignment.
(23:24):
We need to understand because Ijokingly say that anytime you
come to me and you want topurchase a house, the answer is
not no.
It may be not now, but it's notno, and we can pretty much
figure out or educate you.
Get through almost anythingyou've got.
So, as opposed to sittingyourself in shame and wasting
time and valuable resources ofenergy right Of sitting in the
(23:48):
guilt and the shame, instead,take some time for yourself,
really step back and then pickan expert that is going to be
empathetic, that's going tounderstand that sometimes stuff
happens right.
It just is what it is.
Those people will be in yourcorner.
They will show you how to fixit.
They will show you what needsto happen to make your dreams a
(24:09):
reality, but not if you're tooafraid to ask the question, to
put yourself out there.
Whatever I mean, I literallyspend so many hours creating not
only content for the podcastvideos for my other YouTube
channel lead magnets, as well asbooks and resources to show
(24:31):
people, hey, like there iseducation out there, like you
can get a little bit down thepath and then find that expert,
and that's what you have to do.
So I just wanted to make surethat I let you know, like, hey,
me too right, like I have hadsome challenges too.
Me too right, like I have hadsome challenges too.
And it doesn't mean that youcan't be hugely successful or
exactly where you want to beright.
(24:51):
You just have to be not afraidto take the step.
Erin Gray (24:55):
Yeah, I think one.
Thank you for sharing that,because I think a lot of I mean
our forefathers like they wroteit into the constitution, right.
Fathers, you know, like theywrote it into the constitution,
right.
So it's not.
It's not a um I think thatthere have been people that do
that, do experience bankruptcy.
There is this shame around it,right, but the depending on the
(25:16):
energy that you went into itwith right, and if you go into
it with the energy of like I'mbetting on myself, I'm doing the
thing Like that's really what.
I think that that that was whythat was written into the
constitution.
Right Is is to allow for risktakers, and I don't think women,
by and large, are huge risktakers, and that is one thing
(25:36):
that I have seen and I havenoticed in myself, and that is
something that I've really beenworking through, because you
know, like if you want to livethis big, boisterous, amazing,
vibrant, like all the thingslife like you are going, like it
involves risk, right, andsometimes that means it doesn't
work out the way you thought itwould, but God's spirit source
(25:58):
has a better plan for you and itwill work out however he wants
it to.
Right.
And so I think, being willingand I'm not saying, you know,
bet it all on the house.
I'm not saying that either butI am saying, like you have to be
willing right To, like you, youand your husband Jack's like
you were willing to take thatrisk If you even want to call it
a risk right, like you were.
(26:20):
I like to look at it as like youare investing in yourself and
in your future and you'velearned lessons along the way
and you'll come out and you'llbe fine and you'll, you know,
make different decisions, or thesame decision, but a different
way, like.
And so I just think that, aswomen, how can we, what would
you advise to empower them to beto bet on themselves more Like
(26:41):
we bet on, we bet on ourchildren's education, we bet on
our retirement 401k or our stepaccount, or we bet on, we bet on
our children's education, webet on our retirement 401k or
our SEP account, or we bet onall of these external things.
And we don't.
We haven't always developedthat skillset of betting on
ourselves Success or somenonsense like this.
Jax Crider (27:00):
And then I was like, man, I don't, I don't even like
, like what the heck I'm evencreating over here, like this
life that I'm living, like, whyam I even making these choices?
And so you can't be afraid, nomatter what it is, mortgage or
otherwise.
Right to ask the questions, todig deep, to find community.
Who is going to give youperspective, without guilt or
(27:24):
shame, because that's different.
Somebody pushing back on youwith perspective and trying to
say, hey, erin, I need you tosee that this is how this is
right, or this is something thatyou might want to take a look
at or consider, versus somebodysaying, erin, what are you
stupid Like, why in the worldwould you do it that way?
This is clearly the only wayyou should do it.
(27:45):
Like that's not the know what Imean, that's not the way.
And so, um, and you just haveto trust in yourself.
And I feel like, as women, Idon't know why this is.
I think part of the reasonsometimes we feel like men
succeed higher than us isbecause we are constantly
doubting ourselves.
It's like society and ourfamilies and everybody have put
this unnecessary pressure on,and men are like, oh, I failed,
(28:10):
okay, whatever.
And they just like move on onthe path.
And so the truth is is we needto take a little bit of a page
from that playbook and realizelike we're going to stumble and
we're going to fall and it's sodifferent than we teach our
toddler or our kids Okay, youfell, right.
Like be in all the feels for aminute, be upset and emotional
and whatever you need to feel.
Let it all out.
But then let's not beatourselves up about it, like get
(28:33):
back up and move on down thepath, right.
And so I definitely have tolearn that more than I'd like
over the last couple of years,but in a weird way it's made me
better at being able to share mystory and give more women
permission to step intothemselves.
Like wow, she came from thislike horrible, crazy financial
situation and she allowed it tonot break her.
(28:53):
Mind you, I am still behind thescenes, struggling at moments,
crying, being upset.
You know what I mean.
But on the same token, I stillknow it's not a representation
of me personally, it's not apersonal failure and I don't
need to take it or hold it assuch.
Erin Gray (29:12):
Yes, I think what we do is we internalize it and we
make the circumstance meansomething about us, and it means
nothing about us.
We literally have the power tomake it mean whatever we want it
to mean.
So if that is true, which Ibelieve it is, then choose it in
an empowering way to fuel youtowards next thing, versus to to
draw you back into your shelland to not take any more risks.
(29:35):
You said two things that Iwanted to go back to is, um, you
know, like working with peoplethat, um, empower you, that do
push back on maybe your mindset,cause I probably would be that
guy right, like I probably have.
I think we've always done like30 years, and then I moved it to
15 and then I moved it to seven, right, and so I was doing that
kind of thing, and so it isimportant to have people that
push back on you and you weresaying, you know, but not the
(29:57):
ones that with the shame and theguilt and I always advise
clients in in on the podcastit's like we don't have to
tolerate body talking down tous- and.
I think a lot of people, a lotof people do.
It's almost like, well, I havethis amount of years with my CPA
and it's going to be air quotes, difficult to find someone.
(30:17):
It's like, yeah, but that'sworth it.
Right, that is worth it to gofind someone to treat you well,
to have people on your team.
And the other thing I thinkabout is I think that just as
the more money you make, justthe numbers just get bigger in
terms of risk, right.
Like.
So, a risk to somebody who'snever taken a risk might be a
couple thousand dollars ofinvesting in themselves, right,
(30:39):
somebody who's taken millions ofdollars of risk, their risk
might need to be tens, 1500million.
So I think it's all relative andI think that it's just like I
want to to, to challenge, or foryou to ponder you know where is
my risk, where is my next step?
I shouldn't say risk Where's mynext step, where's my next
(31:00):
growth?
And like am I doing that or amI shying away from it?
And you'll know by how you feelin your body.
You know, like, if you're doingthat from a place of um
pressure, or you feel like youhave to, or that's very
different energy than like no,this is what I want, this is my
heart's desire.
Um, I want to do this, but itfeels a little bit uncomfortable
(31:21):
.
That's a go sign If it's, youknow, I feel like I have to, or
someone's telling me I should,which we hear.
Like you were saying, jack'sabout everyone telling us what
we should and shouldn't be doing, or how we should invest, or
all these things that we hearreally got to tap back into
yourself.
So that brings me to the pointof, like, real estate investing.
I have women that want to getinto real estate investing and,
(31:42):
of course, the question is Idon't know how, which we never
know the how right, until afterit's all said and done.
But the desire is there and Ithink a lot of times they think
they have to have all the moneyfirst, and I'm always an
advocate of like no, you, youtake the step forward, you have,
you know, maybe it's a littlebit of the money, and then you,
(32:03):
you figure out how to createmore money.
It's not, let me have all mymoney, all my eggs, and then
I'll go figure out how to do itFor sure.
Jax Crider (32:11):
So, first of all, I think what you were describing
before is important for peopleto remember that in order to
live the most big, beautiful,wonderful life you want to live,
you have to expand yourcontainer.
You can only expand thatcontainer, you can only take
more on, if you are pushingyourself into the uncomfortable
and not the uncomfortable, likeyou pointed out, that somebody
else forced you into, but theuncomfortable that is a step
(32:35):
forward in the direction thatyou want to go, in alignment,
but also is not exactly like,like you don't know everything
right and it is like the moreyou force yourself into that,
the more you know, the betterthat you can do.
When it comes to investing,there is a lot of different ways
and strategies that people cando that Right, and so if they
(32:57):
know early on they want toinvest, they can try to make
their very first home Right,like they can turn that into an
investment.
For a lot of other people whodon't want to do that.
It sort of depends on how bigand bold you want to go right
from the rip.
There is a ton ofinvestment-styled loans that are
created, like, for instance I'mnot sure if you're familiar
(33:18):
with what's called DSCR loans.
Dscr stands for debt servicecredit ratio loans.
So basically, what's happeningis that you actually don't
qualify yourself.
It's the property that'squalifying.
So, yes, you typically do haveto have somewhere between 15 and
25% to put down of the propertyvalue, right?
(33:39):
But understand that, um, whatthey're doing an appraisal to
determine, um, what the actualrental amount would be and what
the payment is based off of, andthat's how it's being
determined, and it also can beprotected in an LLC.
So, like, the entire thing canbe done in an LLC and et cetera.
So you're not then riskingpotentially your personal
(34:00):
finances.
You're not, um, you knowputting other things on
something like that you know upat risk.
Um, if they don't, they're nottrying to do it all on their own
.
There are now groups that do it,you know.
So, like, maybe you have a fewfriends, two to five people and
you want to come togethercumulatively and start that LLC
and you want to come in and do aDSCR.
(34:22):
So that allows you now tooffset some of the risk that
you're holding right.
So there, there's tons ofdifferent ways that you can do
it.
I think the biggest questionyou have to ask is how involved
you want to be right To be ableto invest, because there's also
large companies that do realestate investing, where you're
putting a percent of money, likeinto a group, and you're just
(34:45):
receiving dividends from them.
One of the ones that's mostfamously known right now is like
Grant Cardone.
That's one of the things hedoes is basically you take some
of the money and you place itwith them and they're investing
it specifically in real estateholdings.
The real estate holding- Like aREIT or-.
Kind of yeah, they're basicallyin their own thing, certain
different kinds, and there'sones that are not as big as him.
(35:06):
He's just like an examplebecause he has a huge one, but,
like I know a friend of mine,they have a group and they do
nothing but that.
So they basically say, hey,we're going to go in and we're
going to buy one or twoapartment complexes and now
everybody's capital investmentis going to be X, y, z dollars
and then you're going to receivedividends on this amount or
whatever, and they have theportfolio to prove that.
(35:28):
They know, you know, know howto do the math and all that.
So involvement is going to be ahuge deal because you need to
kind of decide.
Are we looking like on a reallymore traditional path, like
we're trying to build a realestate portfolio?
We are, either we are thelandlord or we're finding
somebody, a property managementcompany, to manage a real estate
investment.
That's like probably the moretraditional path and you can use
(35:49):
either.
A lot of people will like buy aprimary home.
They will go, and that allowsthem to put less money down.
For those of you who arewondering why, it's because of a
risk factor and so they have toput less money down.
They may only have to put fiveor 10% down right versus a 20 or
more percent down, and so thenthey'll live there for a year or
so and then they move out of it, they move in another property,
(36:11):
turn that into a rental.
So there's like theseparticular kind of ways, or,
like I said, you can do DSCRloans.
These are more traditionalpaths.
Or you can go and you can findthese groups who are doing a
little non traditionally.
They're sort of coming as acollective and they're pooling
money together to be able topurchase real estate in that way
.
So lots of unique situations.
(36:34):
It just depends on, I would say, involvement is really the
bigger question, and capitalinvestment, right, like how much
are you willing to pony up forthis particular investment?
The market right now.
The thing to keep in mind is wehave been in a seller's market
for almost five years and thisis the first time in over five
years we have not.
(36:54):
We are in a very much a buyer'smarket, and so for investors,
this is music to their earsbecause it means that they can
go in and negotiate, they canget money off or whatever, or,
if they have a significant poolof cash, go in and buy maybe
four or five, six homes rightfrom a builder or something like
that, and so lots ofopportunity exists if it is
(37:17):
something that is exciting tosomebody to look into.
Again, I'll just say that it'sabout alignment.
So you have to ask yourselvesbefore you step into anything
like that, just step back andsay is this a path that I want
to take?
How involved do I want to be?
How much money, capital do Iwant to give up?
And then just kind of stepbackwards that way.
(37:38):
Hopefully, that kind of gaveyou maybe a high level
understanding.
Erin Gray (37:42):
It's so good that you said that, because my husband
and I we were walking, we'd liketo walk downtown and the little
like areas I'm sure every smalltown or not small town, but
every like downtown area has itLike we had it when we were in
Austin right, it's like theselittle pockets of like homes
that have been renovated and,and you know um, are either
being sold or rented, and wewere talking about getting, you
(38:02):
know, back into real estate,investing and talk about
alignment jacks.
You know, he was like thatwould be something I would do
and I was like, hang on a second, like do I Aaron, aaron, aaron,
five years ago, that did all ofthat.
Sure, aaron, now I don't knowif that's energetically where I
want to spend my time, and youreally have to think of your
energy like a 360 degree circle,and there you know, the more
(38:24):
arrows that you have pointingout is the less energy that it
has going to that.
So if you have, you know, 40arrows pointing out versus three
arrows or one arrow right, likeenergetically.
And so just being really clear,like not making a decision from
money, because my mind wouldsay, oh yeah, there's so much
money to be made here.
(38:45):
Like I see it, this is and I'vesaid this before but Boise to
me reminds me of Austin 25 yearsago, and we and we know what
Austin looks like now.
Right, so the money is there tobe made, it's, it's.
Do I want to put my heart andmy energy there?
And I think I think you have tobe really clear on that, like
(39:06):
what you're saying, because themind will want to take over.
You really clear on that, likewhat you're saying, because the
mind will want to take over andbecause we value, as a society,
money making money so much thatwe don't actually check in with
our hearts to be like, yeah, butdo I want to?
And the energy that you entersomething in is the energy that
it's going to come out.
Right?
So you, if I were doing it froma place of just making money,
(39:27):
I'm probably going to have lotsof problems.
I'm probably going to have allof these things that show up,
because the energy isn't from atrue heart's desire, it's more
of a like okay, I could just,you know, make some quick money.
Jax Crider (39:39):
Well, you also aren't necessarily going to have
the wherewithal to continue,because remind yourself that,
regardless of how well things goat some point in life is going
to life and it's going to throwa wrench.
Right when I was going back andI was explaining to you on the
back end, all these potentialwrenches that can get thrown If
you don't love what you arepicking and choosing to invest
in and be a part of, and and putyour time and your energy and
(40:02):
your money and all these thingsinto, then what's going to
happen is when things gosideways or when you, you know,
when things don't go accordingto plan, well, guess what's
going to happen?
You're going to be like, oh see, I knew this was going to
happen, right.
Like it's almost like youprojected that energy, like you
said, into the mid at the onset,right?
It's why I firmly believe inyou and I've had some
(40:24):
conversations that peopleshouldn't solely just invest in,
like maybe the stock market.
I'm not saying that you don'tmake those investments.
If that's something, that isgood, but if you have other
places of alignment, right, ifyou've got other avenues that
really light you up, probablywhatever is lighting you up is
going to be the path that youshould be walking down and
trusting what I say.
I love my family very dearly andthey're amazing, amazing people
(40:46):
.
But we are very loud, veryopinionated individuals amazing
people.
But we are very loud, veryopinionated individuals and my
family does not understand a lotof my path with what I'm doing
in the education financial space.
Right, like you know that Ihave another company, financial
Mastery Simplified, which isvery heavy education.
It's about overcoming moneyblocks and a lot of these
(41:07):
aspects that I find causechallenges, and not just the
mortgage space but like anoverall financial success, and
my family doesn't get it.
I mean, my mom literally saidto me she goes.
You know, I think it's greatthat you want to do that, but I
just don't think people care.
You know what I mean and like.
So sometimes we have tounderstand that just because it
lights us up and just because itexcites us and it gets us going
(41:27):
, doesn't mean that the rest ofthe world's even going to
understand, like, what it isthat we're doing.
Right, it's kind of like whenyou go into a house I don't know
if any of you have ever hadthis experience and you walk in
and it just it's like it feelslike home and you can't explain
it.
And maybe it has the ugliestcolored paint on the outside and
(41:48):
you're like thinking in yourbrain, your brain, man, I'm
about to spend like 30 grandrepaint this dang house, but you
know what I mean?
Like you just can't explain itlike that.
That is the thing I mean.
It's the same thing with withinvestments.
I, I, I think and I think,unfortunately, in our space,
people are only ever dialing inon the dollars and I'm not
saying that.
The math of the math, guys, themath is important, okay, and
you do have to understand it.
You need to to understand in abroader perspective, how the
(42:10):
general math works, but itdoesn't mean that it has to be
the only decision factor.
When you are making choices,big financial choices like
mortgage, like investing, likeall these things right, these
are big financial choices youneed to make sure, first and
foremost, you're making them inalignment and that you are not
(42:30):
making them out of fear or guiltor shame or any of these kinds
of places.
Erin Gray (42:34):
Yeah, I love that.
What else do you want to addthat maybe I didn't ask you, or
I mean, I know we could go onand riff forever, but is there
anything based on what I havethat we have talked about, that
you want to add to?
Jax Crider (42:47):
Yeah, the one thing.
So there's two really quickpoints that I'll make.
So for any of you who are maybein the process of either
looking to purchase a house ormaybe that's going to be down
the path here fairly quickly,there is a product that we
actually give to any andeverybody, like we pay for it as
a company, pvj Mortgage Paysfor it and basically it will
help you look at like exactlywhere your credit score is, like
(43:08):
the actual mortgage score, notthese crazy credit scores and
all these other companiespretend is your actual credit
score what mortgage is actuallylooking at.
Okay, it'll also help youunderstand how ready you are
like on your other financialsand you can put as much or as
little into it.
Right, you can share as much ora little information.
Like I can't go in there andlike be like, ooh, what's
(43:29):
Aaron's like every situation?
No, it's not like that.
So that's super helpful thingIf you are in the phase of life
where you are dealing with kidsthat are either going to college
or going very soon.
Aaron and I are on the same pageon this.
We actually talked about maybedoing another podcast episode
specifically in relation to this, but make sure that you are
having guys with your kiddosabout money and making sure that
(43:51):
you're not setting them up forfailure in their financial
future or throwing a grenade inyour own life because you felt
the guilt and shame societallythat you need to be pushing them
down a particular path.
And I actually have somethingthat I'll give Aaron the link to
, where it just kind of helpsyou understand, like how to open
these conversations up, how tobe having them at the dinner
(44:14):
table, because that's thebiggest thing.
You're not a rock, just like arock didn't fall out of the sky
and hit you on the head when youturned 18 and you were trying
to figure out money.
It's the same thing for yourkids, and so I get it.
You don't feel prepared, youdon't feel like you know what
the heck you're talking about.
This is kind of to help you,you know kind of ease into some
of these conversations, and so Ijust encourage you in
(44:36):
everything you do financially,live in alignment.
I know that is what Erinpreaches and it's why she and I
are so aligned and we likecollaborating, because it is so,
so important, especially aswomen.
We've not been empowered fortoo long, and so now's the time.
Take back your power.
Don't let anybody else hold itfinancially.
Erin Gray (44:54):
Yeah, I love that you said that about the kids,
because I have a lot of peoplethat ask, like, how do I teach
them when I'm still figuring itout?
And it's like you're theperfect person, right Like?
You just start talking aboutmoney.
I mean, I have clients thatnever talked about money because
their parents never talkedabout money.
And then I have clients likemyself too.
You know, it's like work wherefinances were this like
(45:15):
conflicting, yelling, arguing,right, so you're just learning
and you're talking about it andyou're normalizing, just having
conversations about money andnot being emotionally charged
and saying to your kid you knowwhat, I'm figuring it out along
the way and being real andtransparent, because that that
is what.
That is what they're actuallylooking for.
And they pay attention toenergy too, right Like.
So it's okay to say you knowwhat?
(45:41):
I don't have it figured all outyet, but I am moving forward
and I am looking at thingsdifferently and I mean I even
have to like pause, you know,tell my kid like, hang on a
second, I don't want to makethis rush decision, I want to be
actually have time to thinkabout it, and it's okay to tell
our kids that you know so, um,so, yeah, I love it.
Thank you, jax, for coming on,for sharing your time with us.
Yeah, Okay, until next time.
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