Episode Transcript
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Erin Gray (00:00):
Today on the podcast,
I wanted to share a journal
entry that I have actuallywritten.
That was something that I wasgoing through.
It was either last week or theweek before, but I wanted to
share it because I know thatobviously, this is something
that continues to come up for me.
I see it in my clients, I seeit in other people that I talk
(00:20):
to, I see it just out in theworld and I wanted to share this
allure of money and we havebeen led to believe, at least in
the Western society I thinkit's pretty prominent in the
world, but definitely in theWestern society we have been led
to believe that money is thisholy grail, it is this promise
(00:44):
like that.
Once you get it, then all ofyour problems are going to go
away, all of the feelings thatyou don't want to feel um are
going to be magically gone.
And it's so easy to get pulledin um by this idea that the more
money that we will make, thenwe'll actually feel safe, we'll
(01:05):
feel free, we'll feel whole.
And what I have realized myselfin clients and people that are
extremely wealthy and this isn'tto like blanket everyone right,
but it's it's for people thatare, that have money that
haven't taken care of oraddressed I don't want to say
taken care of, haven't addressedsome of these deeper I don't
want to say taken care of,haven't addressed some of these
(01:26):
deeper seated emotions that weare feeling.
That you know, once we finallyhave this, this money that we
are, after that everything isgoing to be, you know, rainbows
and daisies, and what I haverecognized is it's just not true
.
So today I am getting even morevulnerable or more intimate
(01:50):
than I typically am, and I'mgoing to share a journal entry
that I recently wrote about howmoney can subtly I don't want to
say how money can do this howwe, based on our consciousness
and what we are feeling, how wecan subtly allow money to pull
us away from our hearts and ourinnate sovereignty and our
(02:14):
innate power.
So, as you are listening tothis, if you are resonating with
this and it is speaking to yourheart and this is something
that has been on your heart fora while that you want to stop
outsourcing your power to money,to other people, and really
start to create and have arelationship with money that
(02:37):
feels safe and empowering andaligned with your values, let's
see if we are a good fit foreach other to schedule some time
with me.
You can just click on the linkin the show notes.
Okay, so let me read my journalentry.
And this happened.
Let me just set up the scene.
This happened after I had had aconversation with someone who
(02:59):
was going to help me grow mypodcast also my YouTube channel,
and really expand my reach.
Because I do believe to thedepths of my soul and I'll
probably cry multiple timeswhile this episode, but I
believe to the depths of my soulthat I came here to have my
experiences with money early onin my childhood, so that I could
(03:22):
transform them and I couldobviously change them within
myself and I could help them.
I could help other people dothe same and by doing that as a
collective, we would be changingthe way that people think about
money, because I think as acollective.
I don't want to make a blanketstatement, but I think a lot of
us think that money is a badthing and I don't think that.
(03:43):
I think that money has gottenin the hands of humans with a
lower consciousness and I trulybelieve that I am here to
reshape the way that we thinkabout money and moving from a
frequency of love and to allowit to expand our lives and to
share it and to give it and tocirculate it from a place of
(04:06):
love and joy and freedom andpeace and safety.
And so I say all that to say Iwant to increase my reach and my
discoverability with people sothat they can hear my message.
So I had this conversation withthis gentleman and I had already
(04:30):
kind of prefaced the meeting oflike I don't want to follow the
way that maybe most people havedone it, so if that's something
that you are kind of going downthat route, let's just not even
have the call, and he assuredme that that would not be the
case.
So, as we were kind of divinginto how he helps clients grow
(04:52):
their podcast, their YouTubechannel and things that he does,
there were some things in therethat, while I was on the call
with him, in my body it did notfeel good, it felt like a
compromise, and I saw thathappening.
Like my awareness is therewhere I saw that, and I just
asked him point blank because Ithink it's.
(05:12):
I think it's a very the wordthat is coming to me is wise,
but that's not necessarily theword I want to use.
It is a very, totally fine likebusiness practice to you know,
like what are, what is theperson's values?
Or like you know, I don't wanthim to change his business
practice just because this me,his client, is like I'm not
going to do it that way, right?
So if that is how he likes torun his business, then he needs
(05:35):
to continue to run his businessthat way.
So he, I asked that questionand he was very upfront.
He was like listen for me toactually tell you that it's
actually going to work andthere's a whole mindset thing
around this.
But that might be a wholenother podcast for another time,
but in order for me to tell youthat you know what, there will
be success with this.
This is the way that we suggestto do it.
And in my body it did not feelgood.
(05:55):
So I never make decisions oncalls.
I always just like to ride mywave and I said, okay, thanks
for this.
I'm going to ponder this, I'llget back to you.
But there was something thathappened within me that clearly
that there was almost like thistug of war of like, where I saw
my mind like noticing that Icould do it, I could compromise
myself, because it would get meto where I was ultimately going,
(06:20):
but it would be at the expenseof some of my and I'll just tell
you like he wanted me to be on,like all the social media
channels, and I was like no,like I don't want to do that,
and so I.
One of the ways that I thinkthat I have now processed things
(06:40):
is there are tears that come up, that there is a release, and I
was noticing this tug of war inmy body.
I was noticing what my mind wassaying.
I was noticing what my heartand my body was saying, and they
weren't in congruent with eachother.
And I think you know, if youare in this space, or when this
does happen to you, I want tojust offer to you to give
yourself compassion, becausethose are the times that we need
(07:00):
it the most, because if we takeaction when we're kind of in
that gray area, the the resultsthat we are going to get is not
going to be what we want.
So, instead of just pushingthrough, not allowing your
emotions, I want to encourageyou to slow down and to really
just feel and process whatneeded to be felt.
(07:21):
So I did have some time in mycalendar and I allowed myself to
cry and I allowed myself tojournal on what was coming up
and I want to read to you whatcame through the allure of money
.
It's easy to get distracted whenthe promises of more money are
thrown your way.
It's a slippery slope if youaren't aware of what you are
(07:43):
doing.
It's enticing, it's illustrious.
It slowly pulls you in becausewe have all been led to believe
that money is the holy grail.
We have been taught that onceyou have it and have a lot of it
all of the feelings that wehave been running from our
entire life will be gone.
It becomes this drug that wecan't quit and so, slowly and
(08:04):
surely, we sell a little pieceof our heart and our soul for it
.
And at first we don't noticebecause we get that dopamine hit
we were so desperately craving.
But little by little we wake upone day and we don't recognize
how we got there.
But if we were to slow down andreally give it some thought?
We got here by ignoring ourhearts.
(08:25):
We got here by listening to ourminds over our bodies.
We got here by outsourcing ourpower.
So that just kind of came to me.
I was just like you know I wasfeeling that I needed to cry, I
was feeling that I needed toprocess some of this and then it
just like flowed out of me andit was.
You know I have and I've toldpeople this before like in years
(08:47):
past, I have sold my soul formoney.
I have done things that, eventhough I was good at it, wasn't
a full heart's desire, and Ithink when we come from that
place, we can never truly feelfulfillment.
So I think a lot of us, right,like we don't set out to trade
our peace and our values and ourjoy for money.
(09:11):
Right, this happens in suchtiny ways, right A little bit at
a time.
You know, like I didn't startout with, like I always wanted
to help people and serve peopleand make a lot of money.
But I do recognize thepositions that I've been in.
They have come from a place ofokay, well, I'll just work a
(09:32):
little bit more or I'll just do,you know it's it's more so
around working harder, um, maybenot doing.
I loved financial planning, likeI loved being with my clients.
I didn't work like working allof the hours.
Um, even in my family'sconstruction business, I
absolutely loved parts of thebusiness and there were parts
(09:53):
that I just didn't like doingand I felt like I had to.
I didn't have the courage backthen to say, no, I'm not going
to do that, because of who itmight disappoint, or who might
put extra effort or work onsomeone else, or who might had
to been hired.
And so when I say compromise,what I, what I think about is
(10:13):
compromise, is like creating apiece of ourselves, of of of who
we are, of our values, you know, and it and it happens in these
very subtle ways.
So it might look like workingwith a client that you don't
necessarily feel aligned with.
Like one of the things I alwaysask myself is do I actually want
(10:34):
to work with this client?
And if the answer is no, then Iwill tell them that.
So it's not just are theylooking to hire me?
It's am I looking to want towork with them as well?
Right, maybe it looks likeyou're staying in a job.
If you're currently at a jobwhere you know it may, it pays
you really well, but it's notsomething that you really want
(10:58):
to do, but you're like, oh, butthe money's so great, then
ponder that.
And I'm not.
I think everyone has theirplace, everyone has their own
journey.
What I mean by that is is youhave to, like I recognized that
I didn't want to buy my family'scompany, and that was also a
process for me to.
(11:20):
There was some time involvedbefore I unwound it, right?
So it wasn't like I woke up onenight, one day, whatever.
And I decided, okay, I'm notgoing to buy the company and
boom, I'm done, I'm not going tobuy the company and boom, I'm
done, I'm not working for youeither.
Right, there was thisprogression for me, and so I
think sometimes some people canhear that and they can think, oh
gosh, like, this isn't what Iwant to do, um, and I'm still
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staying in it.
I think there's there's beautyin awareness.
Right, there's beauty in oh,this did show me that this isn't
what I want to do long-term.
That is amazing, and you canalso be working towards what you
want to do while this job isallowing you to fund your
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current family and things ofthat sort.
So I'm not an advocate of oflike.
I have this awareness and I'mjust going to go make these
decisions.
I really think you've got togive yourself time and your
nervous system and whatever timemeans to you.
Right.
Time is is not even a thing,right.
So time for you might be weeks,it might be months, who knows?
(12:24):
But give yourself the time andthe introspection to really
ponder this.
So, if we are saying yes tothings but our body or our
intuition or what I say, youknow, sometimes our gut is
saying no to, we have to reallystop and think.
If we're saying yes because ofthe money, we have to really
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start to question what are thosebeliefs that we have underneath
there that are creating us tosay yes, because ultimately,
that is coming from a lack place, right?
If we believe that we couldhave what we wanted in the way
that we wanted, we wouldn't sayyes to the thing.
Let my journal entry allow youto connect to yourself deeper,
(13:07):
right?
Um, if, if I'm willing to showup and be intimate and be honest
and vulnerable about what I'mexperiencing, I never I hope I
hope I never like come off withlike I've got it all figured out
because I don't right.
I'm continuing to be in thiswork and to up-level and to see
where those old beliefs come up,but the thing that I have
(13:33):
gotten better with is I noticethem quicker now and wherever
you are in your journey.
It's totally okay, but I dorecognize them and I'm able to
kind of stop them in a muchshorter time than I used to.
I want you to know that moneynever does anything to us.
Money just is and you've heardme talk about this on previous
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podcast episodes it's like Ireally believe that money came
from God, from the divine, like,yes, man created it, but where
do we get all of our ideas from?
It's ultimately God, right,because we are God.
God is within us.
That is what I believe, and itis meant to be a tool.
It is meant to be thisbeautiful thing that we get to
use, not to have to master us,right, like we are meant to use
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it as a tool, not for it toallow it to control us.
And that all starts with insideof us.
You know, when we come backhome to our bodies, when we come
back home to our hearts, whenwe reclaim the power that we
have had all along, you know westop outsourcing it to money.
You know we start using moneyas a tool, not using it or
thinking about it and putting itup on this pedestal.
(14:46):
So I hope this one resonateswith you.
I am always rooting for you.
I appreciate the time that youspend with me every week and if
this is something that you wantsupport with, I would love to to
guide you and to support youalong the way.
You can definitely do this onyour own and it's a lot of fun
(15:09):
when you get to do it withsomeone else.
So I'll put the link in theshow notes and until next time,
you know, tune into your heart,tune into your body.
Give yourself the time andspace.
Okay, I'll see you next episode.