September 22, 2025 • 18 mins
Work with Me: (https://tidycal.com/eringray/45-min-call-with-erin)
Have you ever been celebrating, enjoying a beautiful moment or spending money only to have your brain suddenly interrupt with scarcity thoughts like, “You shouldn’t be spending this money,” or “You're having too much fun"?
That quick shift from joy to panic isn’t random, I believe it’s your nervous system revealing its limits around how much abundance it feels safe to hold.
In this episode, I share the hidden connection between your window of tolerance, your nervous system, and why scarcity thoughts often show up in moments of joy. You’ll learn how childhood conditioning may have wired your body to associate safety with restriction instead of expansion, and what you can do to change that.
Together we’ll explore:
- Why your nervous system may equate safety with saving, hoarding, or limiting pleasure
- How stored emotions in the body can trigger recurring scarcity thought loops
- The role of your Default Mode Network vs. Task Positive Network
- Somatic practices like emotion code, tapping, breathwork, more play, and grounding to expand your capacity for joy
- Writing exercises to uncover limiting beliefs about money, safety, and fun
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From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
Have you ever been having so much fun?
Maybe you bought yourselfsomething special that you
already planned for ahead oftime, maybe you treated your
family to an experience, andthen what feels like out of
nowhere, boom right, you havethese scarcity thoughts that
show up, like you shouldn't havespent that.
Or you're having too much fun,or you're spending too much
(00:23):
money just something aroundscarcity, and it feels like that
you went from such joy andexpansion and abundance and
having fun to shut down andworried in seconds.
And if this has happened to you, I want to say welcome here.
It actually happened to me theother day, which is why I'm
creating a podcast on it, and Iwant to share with you about why
(00:54):
our brains actually do this,how I believe it connects us to
our window of tolerance.
Also, how I actually think thatthis reveals how our emotions
are coming up, are actuallystored in the body, and then
they actually need to bereleased, and then how to start
expanding your capacity to haveso that you can enjoy your money
, enjoy more time, more freedom,more play, more fun, without
(01:14):
all of the fear and the shameand the shutdown.
So if this is something thathas been on your heart for a
while, like if this is somethingthat you have been going
through and you feel like that.
You are like in the mindset,wise, you understand it, you
intellectually get it, but youhaven't actually taken it into
the body and you understand, youknow and you have embodied it
to change and make thattransformation.
(01:35):
I would love to support you.
If you want support with this,all you have to do to schedule a
call is just go click the linkin the show notes and see a good
time that fits for you, andthen we can have a conversation
and see if we're a good fit.
Okay, so let's talk about windowof tolerance.
I'm no therapist, I'm nopsychotherapist, I'm no
neuroscientist.
(01:55):
I what else?
I'm none of those things.
I am just a woman who hasexperienced this for myself and
has been willing to play withthese modalities and to help
clients along the way.
So when I say window oftolerance, I want you to think
about a rubber band.
My husband loves rubber bands.
He loves playing with rubberbands.
(02:16):
I think there's like somethingthere, but that's a whole topic
for another discussion.
But so think about a rubberband that has never been used.
You take it out of the bag.
Now imagine all of your fourfingers and put them towards
your thumb right.
So your hand is basically kindof it looks like a bird.
Right Now, if I were to wrapthat rubber band around your
(02:38):
fingers and I were to tell youto expand your fingers, it may
be a little difficult for you toexpand your fingers and keep
them, because a little difficultfor you to expand your fingers
and keep them because the rubberband is so tight.
That is the way I want you tothink about our window of
tolerance in our nervous system.
So the think about if I were togive you a rubber band that has
been, you know, used multipletimes and has been expanded,
(03:01):
you're going to be able toexpand your fingers and hold out
that rubber band for a longerperiod of time and it's going to
go farther and that's the waythat I think about our nervous
system.
So think about your nervoussystems comfort zone.
When I say window of tolerance,think about the range that you
feel safe, that you feelgrounded, that you feel secure,
(03:27):
that you feel safe, that youfeel grounded, that you feel
secure, that you feel able toexperience things that don't
send you into some type offlight freeze or fawn.
So when you are in your windowof tolerance, or if it helps you
to imagine just me drawing acircle and you're inside that
circle, that's your window oftolerance.
But the moment that you try togo outside your window of
tolerance meaning maybe havingmore fun, spending more money,
(03:51):
whatever it might be for youthat your nervous system maybe
hasn't built up and is used tothat level of spending money or
having that much fun or playingthat much, or taking time off or
for yourself, like that isoutside your window of tolerance
.
And so for so many of us, whata lot of us grew up with we were
(04:13):
modeled scarcity, thinkingright, we weren't.
Money and fun and joy for mostof us weren't modeled as this
safe, expansive, joyful,abundant activity.
And so if you grew up hearingthings like you can't have, that
(04:33):
it's too expensive, you'rehaving too much fun, like I know
, my mom used to say, oh, you'rehaving too much fun.
Now, whether she was joking ornot, I don't know, but I know
that that is a thought thatcomes in and that sometimes is
on repeat for me when I amhaving, in my opinion, having a
lot of fun.
And so these experiences thatwe have, I think that there's so
(04:58):
many things that createlimiting beliefs, but a lot of
what we, you know, our limitingbeliefs, come from our
upbringing and so if you don'tcheck them, if you don't bring
them to the conscious, thenthey're going to continue to
live in the body.
So when you go out and you spendmoney on something that's
purely fun, just because youwant to not because you have
(05:20):
earned it, but you just enjoy itand you want it because you
want it, sometimes your nervoussystem or most times right,
unless you've trained it but youjust enjoy it and you want it
because you want it, sometimesyour nervous system or most
times right, unless you'vetrained it your nervous system
is going to feel like this isunsafe.
And I don't necessarily likeusing the word unsafe, let's
just use the word familiar.
It's not familiar for yournervous system to spend money on
(05:40):
having fun.
It may not be familiar for yournervous system to go and have
fun and, you know, take timejust for you and to tell your
family hey, I'm going to gospend some time by myself or I'm
going to go travel by myself,or whatever your next level is.
Think about where you arefamiliar in your life and what
your nervous system, you know,is used to and what's unfamiliar
(06:03):
.
And what I really think thatthis comes back to is this is
showing us, when we have thesethought loops, this is showing
us that there are emotions thatare inside our body that need to
be released Right.
And so I think that doing sometype of somatic practices and
you can play with any and all ofthese Some of these really work
(06:26):
well for me.
Some of them I don't enjoydoing, and some of them used to
work and don't anymore, or viceversa, and so I always encourage
clients, and especially youguys that are listening, to play
with what feels good.
And and when I say what feelsgood, I don't necessarily mean
like it might feel a littleuncomfortable in the body right
In the beginning, but when I saywhat feels good, I don't
necessarily mean like it mightfeel a little uncomfortable in
the body right In the beginning,but when I say feels good, of
(06:48):
like, does it actually resonatewith you, does it help you move
you along your path and yourjourney?
Yeah, so things like tapping,like emotional freedom,
technique or breath work, orgrounding, like going outside
and walking in the grass or justpaying attention to your breath
(07:11):
I've talked about, like the5-4-3-2-1 method, where you
start to focus on five.
It's basically based on yoursenses, right.
You focus on five things andthen, I think, you listen for
four things and so it just goesdown the list and then taste I
think is the last one is one,and so what are you tasting in
your mouth?
So it brings you back to thepresent, so that you can get out
(07:32):
of that thought loop, because Ithink that the reason why these
thought loops are continuing tocome up is because we still
have those emotions within usand so for so many of us, right,
our nervous system has beenwired to believe that safety
actually equals restriction,like I know that was for me.
Like safety for me meant savingmoney and hoarding money and
(07:54):
restricting spending money.
Safety meant scarcity, safetymeant not having a lot of fun.
So you have to really start togive yourself some time and
space to allow for you to see,like, where have I associated
safety with right?
(08:14):
Like one of the things that Idid recently is I just wrote
down a hundred things forsecurity, the word security,
just write down.
If you want to in your journal,write down a hundred things for
security, the word security.
Just write down, if you want toin your journal, write down a
hundred things that come to mindwhen you think about security.
It could be your currentexperiences, it could be your
past experiences, but justnotice what all comes up.
(08:38):
Write down for yourself ahundred things that comes to
mind when you think about money.
Write down a hundred thingsthat comes to mind when you
think about money.
Write down a hundred thingsthat comes to mind when you
think about fun, and just notice, like after you've done this
exercise, notice what actuallycomes up.
Is it something that wasn'tallowed?
You had to earn the fun.
Just notice.
(08:58):
I think that would be a reallygood awareness tool for you.
And so I also want to talk aboutbecause when this happened to
me, I was, I believe I waslaying on the couch, I was kind
of in my imagination envisioningsome things that I wanted to
have happen, and then I noticedthis thought come up right.
And so then I recognized it forwhat it was.
(09:19):
I mean, I used to totallyattach to it, but I kind of did
some research and I kind of wantto go over and explain these
two different networks.
One's called a default modenetwork, one's called a task
positive network, and I want todive into that.
And then I kind of want toexplain how they both work
together and then alsorecognizing how we can use these
(09:42):
to help us, along with the bodywork, see that the thoughts we
are, not our thoughts.
So the default mode network whenit's active is when your mind
is at rest, right.
So when I think about when Iwas on the couch the other day,
I definitely was probably inthat default mode network
(10:03):
because I was at rest, my mindwas allowing to be, you know, in
that daydream state.
It was wandering, I wasenvisioning things and I was
reflecting on myself and youknow what I've accomplished and
what I want to have in my life.
And so I was kind of more inthis, like what you might even
say, like this feminine flow orthis just very relaxed state,
(10:24):
right.
And the function of this, whatthey call DMN or default mode
network, is it's this self, youknow, reflection, thinking,
right, it's also future thinkingand planning, which is what I
was doing, and also sometimes itcan be like around rumination
or replaying past events.
You know, when I was in thiskind of wandering state and then
(10:47):
I had that thought come in.
You know I'm having too muchfun.
That was kind of like where Iwas kind of more in the default
mode network than I was in thetask positive network.
And so when the task positivenetwork is active, that's when
you're more focused on a task,solving you know a problem, or
thinking about things that youwant to solve, or paying close
(11:11):
attention kind of to theexternal world, right, so it
might be, you know, focused onthink about, like I think about
when, like you're doing yourmoney or you're doing QuickBooks
or something like that, right,like you're very, you can be
very focused.
Or maybe you're cooking, you'relike following a recipe, like
you're very focused on somethingoutward of you versus
internally.
And they say that these twonetworks are supposed to work
(11:36):
kind of like a seesaw, like oneor the other.
Right, but just like anything,I think sometimes we can get a
little over in one area than weare in the other.
And so typically when thedefault mode network is active,
then your task positive networkisn't right, vice versa.
But what happens a lot of timesis we might be over
(11:57):
concentrated in one area and wearen't as focused, maybe, or it
hasn't been as developed inanother area.
So if you find yourself in someof these scarcity loops, one of
the things that I was readingabout is that this might show
that your default mode networkis actually an overdrive.
(12:20):
And here's what I actually think, and while that might be true,
I also think that that shows us.
When we have those thoughtloops, I think that what that
really shows us is that we'vegot some emotions that are
stored in our body that wehaven't released yet, because I
know that we've heard that themind controls the body.
But what I've also read, andwhat I totally believe, is that
(12:43):
you know, our gut biome, ourheart, they both have neurons
and those neurons send signalsback to our brain.
So if your gut is feelingstress, it will send a signal
via the vagus nerve back to thebrain, and then your brain will
think of a thought you know thatis stressful and then send it
(13:03):
back to your body.
So it's constantly this loop,right, and so what I think
actually is and I'm no scientist, but this is why I always say,
like, play with this yourselfbut when I think that we have
those recurring thought loops,what I actually think is going
on is we've got some storedemotions in the body and I know
I've talked about the emotioncode.
(13:24):
I highly recommend you buy thebook.
I highly recommend you read itand you see if it works for you.
But I have used it to releaseso many emotions that I don't
want to say felt effortless,because I actually had to do the
after work of it, but, like inthe moment of of just releasing
and feeling lighter and freer,it has helped me with some of
(13:47):
that.
So I think, like with anything,you have to play with somatic
practices to release and processemotions that feel good for you
and that are helpful for you.
I mentioned the emotion code.
I think grounding, you know,going out and walking in the
grass, breath work, differenttypes of breath work, like I
don't like to do breath workthat's super fast, that's not
(14:08):
helpful to me, that isn'trelaxing to me in my body, it
doesn't feel good.
To some people it might.
So you're going to have to playwith these different somatic
practices and do what feels goodfor you.
I talked about the EFT, tappingand the.
So think at first what you haveto realize, because I did not
(14:32):
do this, I did not recognizethis.
You are not the emotion and inthe beginning, because the
emotions had been there forhowever many years, and because
they felt so strong in the bodythey felt true to me.
This is probably the only timethat I'll say you need to
(14:53):
separate, because I trulybelieve we're all one, we're all
connected.
But, like, this is one of thosetimes that you do actually need
to separate and see yourself aslike, oh, these emotions that
I'm experiencing, these feelings, these thoughts that I'm having
, they're actually not me, andthen just start to watch how
your body is reacting, like mybody would.
It's heart rate would speed up,I would get sweaty underneath
my underarms.
I could feel these likephysical sensations in my body
(15:17):
happen when these thoughts wouldoccur Right.
So just, first and foremost,just notice that you're having
an experience right, like Ialways like to tell my clients,
like I'm just a human.
I always put my heart on mychest and tell my clients, like,
put your heart on your chest,give yourself so much love.
Like you're just a human rightnow experiencing this.
It's not who you are.
So notice that you are havingthis experience and then what I
(15:40):
think we actually have to do isreally do that deeper work of
releasing the emotion.
And once we start to releasethose emotions, then we get to
focus on what we do have, whatwe do want, what we would love
to have an experience and thenreally start to get your mind
focused on that.
(16:01):
But I always tell clients in thebeginning, you know, if we, if
we want to try to start thinkingof what we would love, but we
really haven't, like, cleanedout the pantry, so to speak, of
the emotions, of what we kind ofhave been, you know, ruminating
underneath the surface, and I'mnot an advocate to like, okay,
you have to clean out everything, right, like it's.
(16:22):
We are a human having anexperience.
We're going to continue to havethese emotions that we're going
to continue to clean out.
But I do think that there issome, some value in taking some
time first to really kind ofthese emotions that have been
there for quite some time andreleasing those and then
focusing on, okay, what do Iwant, what would I love.
(16:43):
So try that.
You know, notice if the nexttime that you are having an
experience like you're spendingtoo much money or you're having
too much fun or you need to gethome, you know sooner, or you
know your kids are waiting onyou, or sometimes my brain would
be like you're not a good momCause you're out and not with
your kid.
Whatever that the brain says,right, that offers it up.
(17:04):
I want you to pause in thatmoment and I want you to take a
breath and I want you to noticewhere you are, that you're safe,
that you're here, right, andthen when you get to a place
where you can do some of thestuff to release the emotion, so
then focus on what you have.
Just notice what those thoughtloops are, notice what those
limiting beliefs are that keepcoming up, those are an
(17:25):
invitation for you to go deeperso that you can release them, so
that you can then choosesomething that's more empowering
.
So if you are listening to thisand you're like, yes, yes, yes,
this is me, I got you, you know,if you want to schedule a time
to see if we are a good fit to,so that I can support you, I
would love to.
To offer that to you.
(17:45):
All you have to do is justclick the link in the show notes
.
Just remember, like I alwayssay, like each of us are so
precious and we are a gift fromGod, in whatever way you want to
interpret that, like I'm not areligious person, but highly
spiritual, like we are one.
We are all one.
We are all connected to God,like I want us all to to
(18:08):
experience our divinity that iswithin us, and so notice that
when those thoughts come up,they are not you.
They are someone else that hasinfused their beliefs in you,
and it's time to release them.
So, until next episode, I'llsee you.
Have you ever been having so much fun?
Maybe you bought yourselfsomething special that you
already planned for ahead oftime, maybe you treated your
family to an experience, andthen what feels like out of
nowhere, boom right, you havethese scarcity thoughts that
show up, like you shouldn't havespent that.
Or you're having too much fun,or you're spending too much
(00:23):
money just something aroundscarcity, and it feels like that
you went from such joy andexpansion and abundance and
having fun to shut down andworried in seconds.
And if this has happened to you, I want to say welcome here.
It actually happened to me theother day, which is why I'm
creating a podcast on it, and Iwant to share with you about why
(00:54):
our brains actually do this,how I believe it connects us to
our window of tolerance.
Also, how I actually think thatthis reveals how our emotions
are coming up, are actuallystored in the body, and then
they actually need to bereleased, and then how to start
expanding your capacity to haveso that you can enjoy your money
, enjoy more time, more freedom,more play, more fun, without
(01:14):
all of the fear and the shameand the shutdown.
So if this is something thathas been on your heart for a
while, like if this is somethingthat you have been going
through and you feel like that.
You are like in the mindset,wise, you understand it, you
intellectually get it, but youhaven't actually taken it into
the body and you understand, youknow and you have embodied it
to change and make thattransformation.
(01:35):
I would love to support you.
If you want support with this,all you have to do to schedule a
call is just go click the linkin the show notes and see a good
time that fits for you, andthen we can have a conversation
and see if we're a good fit.
Okay, so let's talk about windowof tolerance.
I'm no therapist, I'm nopsychotherapist, I'm no
neuroscientist.
(01:55):
I what else?
I'm none of those things.
I am just a woman who hasexperienced this for myself and
has been willing to play withthese modalities and to help
clients along the way.
So when I say window oftolerance, I want you to think
about a rubber band.
My husband loves rubber bands.
He loves playing with rubberbands.
(02:16):
I think there's like somethingthere, but that's a whole topic
for another discussion.
But so think about a rubberband that has never been used.
You take it out of the bag.
Now imagine all of your fourfingers and put them towards
your thumb right.
So your hand is basically kindof it looks like a bird.
Right Now, if I were to wrapthat rubber band around your
(02:38):
fingers and I were to tell youto expand your fingers, it may
be a little difficult for you toexpand your fingers and keep
them, because a little difficultfor you to expand your fingers
and keep them because the rubberband is so tight.
That is the way I want you tothink about our window of
tolerance in our nervous system.
So the think about if I were togive you a rubber band that has
been, you know, used multipletimes and has been expanded,
(03:01):
you're going to be able toexpand your fingers and hold out
that rubber band for a longerperiod of time and it's going to
go farther and that's the waythat I think about our nervous
system.
So think about your nervoussystems comfort zone.
When I say window of tolerance,think about the range that you
feel safe, that you feelgrounded, that you feel secure,
(03:27):
that you feel safe, that youfeel grounded, that you feel
secure, that you feel able toexperience things that don't
send you into some type offlight freeze or fawn.
So when you are in your windowof tolerance, or if it helps you
to imagine just me drawing acircle and you're inside that
circle, that's your window oftolerance.
But the moment that you try togo outside your window of
tolerance meaning maybe havingmore fun, spending more money,
(03:51):
whatever it might be for youthat your nervous system maybe
hasn't built up and is used tothat level of spending money or
having that much fun or playingthat much, or taking time off or
for yourself, like that isoutside your window of tolerance
.
And so for so many of us, whata lot of us grew up with we were
(04:13):
modeled scarcity, thinkingright, we weren't.
Money and fun and joy for mostof us weren't modeled as this
safe, expansive, joyful,abundant activity.
And so if you grew up hearingthings like you can't have, that
(04:33):
it's too expensive, you'rehaving too much fun, like I know
, my mom used to say, oh, you'rehaving too much fun.
Now, whether she was joking ornot, I don't know, but I know
that that is a thought thatcomes in and that sometimes is
on repeat for me when I amhaving, in my opinion, having a
lot of fun.
And so these experiences thatwe have, I think that there's so
(04:58):
many things that createlimiting beliefs, but a lot of
what we, you know, our limitingbeliefs, come from our
upbringing and so if you don'tcheck them, if you don't bring
them to the conscious, thenthey're going to continue to
live in the body.
So when you go out and you spendmoney on something that's
purely fun, just because youwant to not because you have
(05:20):
earned it, but you just enjoy itand you want it because you
want it, sometimes your nervoussystem or most times right,
unless you've trained it but youjust enjoy it and you want it
because you want it, sometimesyour nervous system or most
times right, unless you'vetrained it your nervous system
is going to feel like this isunsafe.
And I don't necessarily likeusing the word unsafe, let's
just use the word familiar.
It's not familiar for yournervous system to spend money on
(05:40):
having fun.
It may not be familiar for yournervous system to go and have
fun and, you know, take timejust for you and to tell your
family hey, I'm going to gospend some time by myself or I'm
going to go travel by myself,or whatever your next level is.
Think about where you arefamiliar in your life and what
your nervous system, you know,is used to and what's unfamiliar
(06:03):
.
And what I really think thatthis comes back to is this is
showing us, when we have thesethought loops, this is showing
us that there are emotions thatare inside our body that need to
be released Right.
And so I think that doing sometype of somatic practices and
you can play with any and all ofthese Some of these really work
(06:26):
well for me.
Some of them I don't enjoydoing, and some of them used to
work and don't anymore, or viceversa, and so I always encourage
clients, and especially youguys that are listening, to play
with what feels good.
And and when I say what feelsgood, I don't necessarily mean
like it might feel a littleuncomfortable in the body right
In the beginning, but when I saywhat feels good, I don't
necessarily mean like it mightfeel a little uncomfortable in
the body right In the beginning,but when I say feels good, of
(06:48):
like, does it actually resonatewith you, does it help you move
you along your path and yourjourney?
Yeah, so things like tapping,like emotional freedom,
technique or breath work, orgrounding, like going outside
and walking in the grass or justpaying attention to your breath
(07:11):
I've talked about, like the5-4-3-2-1 method, where you
start to focus on five.
It's basically based on yoursenses, right.
You focus on five things andthen, I think, you listen for
four things and so it just goesdown the list and then taste I
think is the last one is one,and so what are you tasting in
your mouth?
So it brings you back to thepresent, so that you can get out
(07:32):
of that thought loop, because Ithink that the reason why these
thought loops are continuing tocome up is because we still
have those emotions within usand so for so many of us, right,
our nervous system has beenwired to believe that safety
actually equals restriction,like I know that was for me.
Like safety for me meant savingmoney and hoarding money and
(07:54):
restricting spending money.
Safety meant scarcity, safetymeant not having a lot of fun.
So you have to really start togive yourself some time and
space to allow for you to see,like, where have I associated
safety with right?
(08:14):
Like one of the things that Idid recently is I just wrote
down a hundred things forsecurity, the word security,
just write down.
If you want to in your journal,write down a hundred things for
security, the word security.
Just write down, if you want toin your journal, write down a
hundred things that come to mindwhen you think about security.
It could be your currentexperiences, it could be your
past experiences, but justnotice what all comes up.
(08:38):
Write down for yourself ahundred things that comes to
mind when you think about money.
Write down a hundred thingsthat comes to mind when you
think about money.
Write down a hundred thingsthat comes to mind when you
think about fun, and just notice, like after you've done this
exercise, notice what actuallycomes up.
Is it something that wasn'tallowed?
You had to earn the fun.
Just notice.
(08:58):
I think that would be a reallygood awareness tool for you.
And so I also want to talk aboutbecause when this happened to
me, I was, I believe I waslaying on the couch, I was kind
of in my imagination envisioningsome things that I wanted to
have happen, and then I noticedthis thought come up right.
And so then I recognized it forwhat it was.
(09:19):
I mean, I used to totallyattach to it, but I kind of did
some research and I kind of wantto go over and explain these
two different networks.
One's called a default modenetwork, one's called a task
positive network, and I want todive into that.
And then I kind of want toexplain how they both work
together and then alsorecognizing how we can use these
(09:42):
to help us, along with the bodywork, see that the thoughts we
are, not our thoughts.
So the default mode network whenit's active is when your mind
is at rest, right.
So when I think about when Iwas on the couch the other day,
I definitely was probably inthat default mode network
(10:03):
because I was at rest, my mindwas allowing to be, you know, in
that daydream state.
It was wandering, I wasenvisioning things and I was
reflecting on myself and youknow what I've accomplished and
what I want to have in my life.
And so I was kind of more inthis, like what you might even
say, like this feminine flow orthis just very relaxed state,
(10:24):
right.
And the function of this, whatthey call DMN or default mode
network, is it's this self, youknow, reflection, thinking,
right, it's also future thinkingand planning, which is what I
was doing, and also sometimes itcan be like around rumination
or replaying past events.
You know, when I was in thiskind of wandering state and then
(10:47):
I had that thought come in.
You know I'm having too muchfun.
That was kind of like where Iwas kind of more in the default
mode network than I was in thetask positive network.
And so when the task positivenetwork is active, that's when
you're more focused on a task,solving you know a problem, or
thinking about things that youwant to solve, or paying close
(11:11):
attention kind of to theexternal world, right, so it
might be, you know, focused onthink about, like I think about
when, like you're doing yourmoney or you're doing QuickBooks
or something like that, right,like you're very, you can be
very focused.
Or maybe you're cooking, you'relike following a recipe, like
you're very focused on somethingoutward of you versus
internally.
And they say that these twonetworks are supposed to work
(11:36):
kind of like a seesaw, like oneor the other.
Right, but just like anything,I think sometimes we can get a
little over in one area than weare in the other.
And so typically when thedefault mode network is active,
then your task positive networkisn't right, vice versa.
But what happens a lot of timesis we might be over
(11:57):
concentrated in one area and wearen't as focused, maybe, or it
hasn't been as developed inanother area.
So if you find yourself in someof these scarcity loops, one of
the things that I was readingabout is that this might show
that your default mode networkis actually an overdrive.
(12:20):
And here's what I actually think, and while that might be true,
I also think that that shows us.
When we have those thoughtloops, I think that what that
really shows us is that we'vegot some emotions that are
stored in our body that wehaven't released yet, because I
know that we've heard that themind controls the body.
But what I've also read, andwhat I totally believe, is that
(12:43):
you know, our gut biome, ourheart, they both have neurons
and those neurons send signalsback to our brain.
So if your gut is feelingstress, it will send a signal
via the vagus nerve back to thebrain, and then your brain will
think of a thought you know thatis stressful and then send it
(13:03):
back to your body.
So it's constantly this loop,right, and so what I think
actually is and I'm no scientist, but this is why I always say,
like, play with this yourselfbut when I think that we have
those recurring thought loops,what I actually think is going
on is we've got some storedemotions in the body and I know
I've talked about the emotioncode.
(13:24):
I highly recommend you buy thebook.
I highly recommend you read itand you see if it works for you.
But I have used it to releaseso many emotions that I don't
want to say felt effortless,because I actually had to do the
after work of it, but, like inthe moment of of just releasing
and feeling lighter and freer,it has helped me with some of
(13:47):
that.
So I think, like with anything,you have to play with somatic
practices to release and processemotions that feel good for you
and that are helpful for you.
I mentioned the emotion code.
I think grounding, you know,going out and walking in the
grass, breath work, differenttypes of breath work, like I
don't like to do breath workthat's super fast, that's not
(14:08):
helpful to me, that isn'trelaxing to me in my body, it
doesn't feel good.
To some people it might.
So you're going to have to playwith these different somatic
practices and do what feels goodfor you.
I talked about the EFT, tappingand the.
So think at first what you haveto realize, because I did not
(14:32):
do this, I did not recognizethis.
You are not the emotion and inthe beginning, because the
emotions had been there forhowever many years, and because
they felt so strong in the bodythey felt true to me.
This is probably the only timethat I'll say you need to
(14:53):
separate, because I trulybelieve we're all one, we're all
connected.
But, like, this is one of thosetimes that you do actually need
to separate and see yourself aslike, oh, these emotions that
I'm experiencing, these feelings, these thoughts that I'm having
, they're actually not me, andthen just start to watch how
your body is reacting, like mybody would.
It's heart rate would speed up,I would get sweaty underneath
my underarms.
I could feel these likephysical sensations in my body
(15:17):
happen when these thoughts wouldoccur Right.
So just, first and foremost,just notice that you're having
an experience right, like Ialways like to tell my clients,
like I'm just a human.
I always put my heart on mychest and tell my clients, like,
put your heart on your chest,give yourself so much love.
Like you're just a human rightnow experiencing this.
It's not who you are.
So notice that you are havingthis experience and then what I
(15:40):
think we actually have to do isreally do that deeper work of
releasing the emotion.
And once we start to releasethose emotions, then we get to
focus on what we do have, whatwe do want, what we would love
to have an experience and thenreally start to get your mind
focused on that.
(16:01):
But I always tell clients in thebeginning, you know, if we, if
we want to try to start thinkingof what we would love, but we
really haven't, like, cleanedout the pantry, so to speak, of
the emotions, of what we kind ofhave been, you know, ruminating
underneath the surface, and I'mnot an advocate to like, okay,
you have to clean out everything, right, like it's.
(16:22):
We are a human having anexperience.
We're going to continue to havethese emotions that we're going
to continue to clean out.
But I do think that there issome, some value in taking some
time first to really kind ofthese emotions that have been
there for quite some time andreleasing those and then
focusing on, okay, what do Iwant, what would I love.
(16:43):
So try that.
You know, notice if the nexttime that you are having an
experience like you're spendingtoo much money or you're having
too much fun or you need to gethome, you know sooner, or you
know your kids are waiting onyou, or sometimes my brain would
be like you're not a good momCause you're out and not with
your kid.
Whatever that the brain says,right, that offers it up.
(17:04):
I want you to pause in thatmoment and I want you to take a
breath and I want you to noticewhere you are, that you're safe,
that you're here, right, andthen when you get to a place
where you can do some of thestuff to release the emotion, so
then focus on what you have.
Just notice what those thoughtloops are, notice what those
limiting beliefs are that keepcoming up, those are an
(17:25):
invitation for you to go deeperso that you can release them, so
that you can then choosesomething that's more empowering
.
So if you are listening to thisand you're like, yes, yes, yes,
this is me, I got you, you know,if you want to schedule a time
to see if we are a good fit to,so that I can support you, I
would love to.
To offer that to you.
(17:45):
All you have to do is justclick the link in the show notes
.
Just remember, like I alwayssay, like each of us are so
precious and we are a gift fromGod, in whatever way you want to
interpret that, like I'm not areligious person, but highly
spiritual, like we are one.
We are all one.
We are all connected to God,like I want us all to to
(18:08):
experience our divinity that iswithin us, and so notice that
when those thoughts come up,they are not you.
They are someone else that hasinfused their beliefs in you,
and it's time to release them.
So, until next episode, I'llsee you.
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