October 27, 2025 • 28 mins
Work with Me (https://tidycal.com/eringray/45-min-call-with-erin)
Ever feel that knot in your stomach right before quoting your price? What if it’s not about the numbers and more about safety, identity, and years of proving energy?
In this episode, I discuss the hidden patterns that keep capable women entrepreneurs in an underearning cycle, from people pleasing and perfectionism to nervous system responses that perceive “charging more” as a threat.
In this episode you'll learn:
- Why women entrepreneurs undercharge and underearn
- How people pleasing and perfectionism hide in pricing decisions
- Nervous system tools to feel safe charging more
- The difference between worthiness and price clarity
- How to communicate value confidently and release misaligned clients
Other ways to connect with me:
Come learn with me in my monthly workshops
➡️ Join here
Grab your free Human Design chart
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
In this episode, we are going to be diving into why
so many women, entrepreneursthat I have seen, are in this
cycle of undercharging andpossibly even under-earning, and
how people pleasing can show upin your pricing and the work
that is necessary for you to doin order to release these
(00:22):
patterns so that you can finallycharge what you want.
I don't really like using theword what you're worth because
we'll get into that, but reallystart charging what you actually
want to start charging.
So welcome back to your money,your rules podcast with me, your
host, Aaron Gray.
Okay, so let's talk aboutunder-earning, like what
actually I believe under earningis my, I don't even know, maybe
(00:45):
my definition.
I believe that it isn't justabout consistently earning a
lower revenue than you want.
It's also about earning lessthan you are capable of.
So it's it's this culminationof you want to earn more money,
(01:06):
you are capable of earning moremoney, you have a desire to earn
more money, and you aren't.
Now, I do want to say here thatif you are starting your
business, if you are a newbusiness owner and you're
ramping up your business andyou're earning and you're
growing, and maybe you're not atthe revenue that you want yet,
but you are working towardsthat, that is very different.
(01:29):
That's not what I'm talkingabout here.
I'm talking about if you wantto earn more money and you
aren't, you aren't doing thingsand taking steps and action and
being in the vibration of theperson that is earning that type
of money.
Because I I want to share thatbecause a lot of times I would,
in a way, I would listen topodcasts, and let's say a coach
(01:51):
or a mentor would say somethingand I would use it against me.
I would apply it to me, but Iwouldn't apply it in an
empowering way.
I would use it against me.
So I just want to say that ifyou are someone that is on your
way, right?
Like there, like I've talkedabout the law of gestation, like
there is some time of where youknow you want to earn X and
(02:12):
you're not there yet in the 3Dobserved world, but in your body
and in your taking action andin your business in the 5D,
you're already there.
That's very different.
It just takes a little bit forthe 3D to catch up to the 5D
world.
That's not what I'm talkingabout here.
I'm talking about you know youwant to earn more, you know
that, and you have a desire toearn more, but you've when you
(02:35):
feel in your body about chargingmore, you're not doing it.
So use your own decipheringskills and ask yourself and your
intuition like, is Aarontalking to me?
Am I one of those women whowants to earn more and is not
earning more?
So if you are one of thesewomen that I want to earn more
money, I'm capable of earningmore money, and I'm not, then
(02:56):
yes, you are under-earning.
And the way that you will knowthis is like how I say in every
episode is how you feel in yourbody.
So here is how I'm gonna talkabout a little bit about how
under-earning like shows up orpresents itself, and then how
you can work through this.
It always comes back to lack,right?
(03:18):
Feeling like you aren'tdelivering enough.
And when I say enough, I'm airquoting for those of you
listening.
So if you are over-delivering,or if you're constantly thinking
what I'm charging isn't like Ineed to be doing more, you know,
notice that not enoughness inthere, that lack.
So you are trying toover-deliver without increasing
(03:40):
your prices.
You are trying to compensate.
So that would be that's oneway.
Maybe you actually don't askfor what you actually want, or
you think that it's too much.
And I'm air quoting as well.
So you get what I always say,like you get in your head about
the numbers, you start tooverthink it, and you start
(04:01):
rationalizing and why you'recharging, and maybe you're like
calling, you know, a bunch ofpeople, like your business
besties, or you're asking yourfriends, or you know,
outsourcing your power and yourare in your head versus in your
body.
Another one is is if you've hadyour prices, the same prices
for some time, right?
And like what is some time,you're gonna have to decipher
(04:24):
this.
You're gonna have to askyourself these questions, like,
have I kept my prices, you know,at where they're at for however
long and I haven't beenchanging them.
Why haven't I been changingthem?
Like, start asking yourselfthese questions, then you'll
know.
So if you've wanted to increaseyour prices and you haven't, or
you've talked yourself out ofit, or if you are feeling, I was
talking to someone the otherday about this, if you're
(04:45):
feeling energetically likethere's a mismatch, like you're
you're providing this next levelof value to people and you are,
I wouldn't say resentment, butthat's the word that comes to
mind.
Like you're just feelingmislike there is an energetic
mismatch for the price that youare charging and the value that
you are providing, because youmight be afraid of you know
(05:06):
having that money conversation.
Just here you go back to noticehow you feel in your body.
And another one that I wouldgive you is if you are
discounting often.
Now, I always say everythinghas a caveat, everything is
nuanced, right?
Like you always have to takewhatever I say and then bring it
through your own filter.
(05:27):
But you know if this is youbecause you will resonate with
it and you'll if you askyourself in your intuition, you
know, you will recognize yes, itis or no, it's not.
But if you are discounting,let's just say a client that has
been an excellent client andyou just want to show some love
and appreciation for just theamazingness that they have been
(05:50):
for you, and you're like, youknow what, I just want to give a
discount.
That's one thing.
But if you're desk, you know,if you're discounting, I don't
want to say everyone, but a lotof people that come through your
door or, you know, on your inyour online business, then
that's where you have to startquestioning.
So this is where I always goback to don't outsource your
(06:10):
power, check in with you, checkin with your body, check in with
your intuition and yourbusiness.
You know, if you're gettingstarted in business and you're
choosing to charge a certainamount because you want to get
more experience.
Like I've had clients wherethey're they're starting out and
they are like, okay, I want tostart a little bit lower to kind
of get some momentum going,which that could be whole
(06:30):
debated as well.
But let's just go with thisexercise or example.
You know, I want to get somemomentum going, I want to get
reviews, I want to get, youknow, kind of work out my tweak
tweaks, and I'm willing tocharge a little bit less right
now while I'm in this figuringout phase.
Like sometimes people will dothis during a beta program,
right?
So, but you always have to justgo back to and loving your
(06:52):
reasons and checking yourenergy.
Like if you were to say, yes, Ilove my reasons because I'm
going to let these people pay alesser amount right now and
it'll never be this price again.
And I'm and I'm working onfiguring out these kinks.
And because that they are doingthis for me, I'm willing to be
at a lower price.
Okay.
But if you're like, oh, I don'tknow if anyone would pay that
(07:14):
amount or I'm afraid to chargethat, that's what I'm referring
to.
So you just have to play withthis.
You have to ask yourself.
This is where you have to getreally real with yourself and
you have to start asking thesequestions.
So I do want to say, you know,I feel like I live in these are
straddle, this 5D and this 3Dworld so much.
We're just having thisconversation about how, you
(07:38):
know, I have so much knowledgeof the 3D, of working with
attorneys and CPAs andbookkeepers.
And most of those types ofpeople aren't very energetically
aligned.
But I can speak that language,I understand what they're
saying, I know where they'recoming from.
But then I flip back over upinto my 5D of into my, you know,
the energetic of it andunderstand why we are doing
(08:02):
this, the mindset.
But pricing, I mean, if you'rereally being honest, it's all
just arbitrary, right?
Like it's all just BS.
It's just somebody decides thatthat is their perceived value
for the price and the or for thevalue that they are giving to
you.
Because someone is always goingto think you're too high,
someone is always going to thinkyou're just at the right price,
(08:23):
and someone's always going tothink you're too cheap.
Like everybody has their ownmoney story, you have yours,
they have their perceived value.
What is important about this isthat if you want to earn more
and you want to charge more andyou aren't, then that's where
the work begins.
So, as with anything, thisalways I think comes back to, I
(08:45):
don't want to say always, but itcomes back a lot of times to
safety.
Like we make decisions whetherwe know it or not, inherently,
right?
Like biologically, to say tostay safe, you know, safety in
the body, safety in the nervoussystem.
And I also think that part ofthis with charging or
undercharging is also a societalone.
I experienced this in myfamily's business.
(09:08):
I remember so often I wouldwant a raise.
I would know that the valuethat I was giving and providing
was well deserving of the raisethat I was asking for.
So I would go to my dad and Iwould tell him, you know, why or
I, you know, desired to have araise.
(09:29):
And then a lot of times what hewould do is he would have me
like list out or like explainmyself why I wanted it, what I
was doing for this increased,you know, amount.
And when I say doing, what Imean is like hours worked
because he kind of has a beliefaround, you know, time equals
money versus value is how moneyis created.
(09:51):
And because I could do thingsfaster than some other people,
because I had taken the time tounderstand taxes and really get
into very specific things in thebusiness that maybe most others
that had worked with him hadnot.
(10:12):
I made it look easy, but itthat didn't take away from the
value that I was providing.
And so because it took me lesstime to do something, I don't
think that he was reallythinking like, look at all of
the money that Aaron has savedus from understanding how taxes
(10:34):
were, you know, like when I camein and I figured out how to do
franchise tax and I understand,I understood how we were
overpaying.
Like I'm talking 50, 70something thousand dollars of
saving on franchise tax.
When I understood how, youknow, protecting our work and
our bonding and, you know, itwas probably over a million
(10:55):
dollars that because we filedclaims on other people's bonds
because they weren't paying, wewere able to be to receive that
million.
Had we not done that, had I notpaid attention, had I not
understood construction law andhow that works and how time and
dates are so sensitive and howall of that worked.
I know it was more than amillion.
(11:16):
So it's just those things thatI was, because of my wisdom and
my wisdom came from time inmotion, experience, learning.
And because I could do itfaster, easier, maybe than
someone else, from hisperspective, it didn't look like
it deserved, you know, what Iwas asking for.
(11:38):
And so when I would go to himand I would ask him for a raise,
a lot of times I felt like Ihad to prove myself.
And then I felt like I had togo to my uncle, and then I had
to prove myself to him as to howI would do it.
And sometimes they would belike, Well, what about this
other PM?
Like, we want to keep you guysat the same rate.
I'm like, we're not the same,we're doing completely different
things and our value isdifferent.
(11:58):
And yes, I believe everybody isvaluable in an organization.
And my role and what I wasdoing was deeply, my role deeply
impacted the company.
And because I used to feel likeI had to prove all the ways
(12:20):
that I was worthy of having orearning more money, not just
owning my brilliance, like theAaron now would have been like,
this is exactly why I am askingfor the raise.
And if he wouldn't, let's justsay, if he wouldn't have given
it to me, depending, right?
I I probably would have beenlike, okay, I'm gonna go work
somewhere else because I valuemyself that much.
(12:42):
I didn't value myself backthen, so I didn't own my
brilliance, I didn't own runninga multi-million dollar company
and all of the my own assets,right?
My own mindset and my ownbrilliance and knowledge that I
brought to that company.
(13:03):
And so I began to equate moremoney with doing more things.
Like I because I felt like Ihad to prove, then I would tack
on more.
Like when I look back on it, Iprobably did the job of three,
it was probably more than that,more three people, right?
For a long time, I was thebookkeeper, I was the CFO, I
also was the HR person, I alsowas the insurance person, also
(13:25):
kind of like managed, you know,the guys.
Did they need anything, getthem anything?
I always did with all the truckstuff.
So there was so much that I didthat I did not give my credit
myself credit for because I didit so easily and I made it look
easy.
And because I was taught alsogrowing up that money or time
(13:46):
equals money, I thought I had towork more, right?
And so I did that for, youknow, 10 years.
So when I started my ownbusiness, I still had that
belief.
That was something that Ineeded to work through.
I didn't own my brilliance of15 to 20 years in business and
you know, 15 years in financeand really owning like my
(14:10):
clients are so grateful to beworking with me because I have
so much knowledge.
I didn't own that because Ididn't have a strong sense of
self-worth and strong sense ofmy self-concept.
And so I say all of this to saythat if this is you, if you are
resonating with something, youknow, with what I am saying,
(14:30):
I've been there.
You know, I had to work throughthat.
A lot of us are still here inthis spot.
And the more that we talk aboutit, the more that we work
through this, the more women areactually earning what they want
to be earning and what theybelieve they are capable of
earning.
Like I want that for all of us.
(14:51):
I want that for each of you.
So, because in my body, youknow, it became unsafe.
I wouldn't probably use thethat that wording, but it became
unsafe to ask for things,right?
Ask for more money, because Iknew I would have to like go to
both of them and I would have tolike plead my case.
And it just felt like a lot ofeffort.
And I was having to experiencethis and it coming from that
(15:14):
proving energy, I just wanted toshare with you so that maybe if
you are experiencing this, thatyou see like, okay, hey, I'm
not the only one.
So if this brings up in you,like think about there's I'm
gonna list a couple of things,like fear of rejection.
You know, if I raise my prices,people might leave me, which is
(15:35):
a very, if you think about it,it's a very lack mentality
because you're not thinking if Iraise my prices, more clients
are actually going to, the onesthat are gonna be my dream
clients are gonna resonate withthat pricing and that frequency.
You're thinking more so of whatyou're losing.
And I love to think of it thatway.
Like if I have a client thatdoesn't renew, I think what's
happening is like I'm trying togo off script and just do my
(15:57):
thing, and then I'm like goingback and forth.
So let me start from the top onfear of rejection.
Okay, so let's talk about acouple of things that your body
might be feeling as to why youaren't increasing your prices.
So fear of rejection.
So maybe you're thinking, if Iraise my prices, people might
leave, which that actually mightbe true, you know, and and the
belief that I have when a clientand I part ways is another
(16:21):
amazing client is gonna filltheir spot.
I love all of my clients dearlyand I'm not attached to any of
them.
You know, many of us areattached to our clients and our
customers, and we are so afraidthat if one leaves or, you know,
several of them leave, what'sgonna happen?
It's like someone else is justgonna come that's at that new
frequency for you.
Okay.
(16:41):
Another one might be or show upfor you as perfectionism.
So you might be thinking, I'mnot ready yet.
I just need a little bit, youknow, more experience.
Like this is one that I hear alot of like I'll just take
another course.
I just need to do this first.
I just need a couple morebefore I actually put myself out
there, which to the mind itseems legit, but it's not
helpful.
And a lot of times it's notvery true for many of us.
(17:04):
I was talking to a friend ofmine the other day, and I told
was telling her because she wasasking me about some pricing.
And I said, you know, youreally have to account for the
30 years that you have inexperience.
You know, that is wisdom andthat and that saves so much time
and money and resources foryour client.
(17:25):
You know, the reason why I,Erin, can look at your books in
30 minutes and tell you what weneed to do differently, or get
on a call with you with your CPAor your attorney or bookkeeper,
whatever, and know exactly whatthey are talking about isn't
because I'm special.
It's because I have done thisfor, like I said, what, 15, 20
(17:47):
years now?
I'm trying to remember.
Like I think I startedfinancial planning when I was
like 25.
So you're paying me for myexperience.
I speed up time for you, Icollapse time for you.
I save you a lot of money andheartache by asking the
questions that you aren'tthinking about or you don't even
know to ask.
That's what you're doing withyour clients as well.
(18:10):
So really sit with this for abit and think about how you are
doing this, how you do have somuch experience, how you are
undervaluing that experience andthat wisdom that you have
gained over 20 plus years thatyou're able to provide for your
(18:32):
clients.
There is a perceived value forthat.
The other one I think comes up,I think with everybody, right?
It's the people pleasing.
And people pleasing shows up inall different ways.
But how it looks like withunder earning or undercharging
is you don't want to, you mightthink or you say you don't want
to make anyone feeluncomfortable or upset, right?
(18:53):
That you don't want them tofeel like that you're taking
advantage of them or that you'recharging too much, or just
notice how each of these beliefsthat I have mentioned, we have
this within ourselves.
And when we clear this up, youknow, charging what we want to
charge becomes easier becausewe're coming at it from our
energetic level and ourfrequency that we are at at that
(19:15):
time.
So I do want to say here,because I don't believe I hear a
lot of coaches talk about thislike charge what you're worth.
Your worth is infinite.
There is no price on yourworth, right?
We all come into this worldnaked and completely worthy.
We don't have to earn anything,we don't have to do anything,
but that's not what you'recharging.
You're charging for theperceived value that they will
(19:38):
be receiving for your service.
So I always also like to askmyself, would I charge, like,
would I pay for this?
The price that I'm paying,would I pay for this?
And if the answer is yes, thenI most definitely charge that.
So the way that because of the,you know, perfectionism or that
thinking that like I just haveto learn a little bit more, or
(20:00):
the fear of rejection, or youknow, the people pleasing, those
limiting beliefs create safetythrough staying small.
Like many of us have feltsafety in kind of being
invisible, not really being thatone that's showing, you know,
in the crowd of everyone.
(20:21):
And a lot of us have equatedsafety and scarcity to kind of
be the same thing.
But that just keeps us insurvival mode.
So if this is something thatyou have been working through
and you would love someone elseto help you to work through
this, to, you know, support youand cheer you on and root for
(20:44):
you, but also like empower youto really get into the mind, to
get into the body and help yousee where your blind spots are
and empower you so that you canreally step into that next level
version of you.
I would be honored to guide youthrough this.
All you have to do is justschedule the call, click the
link in the show notes, and thenyou can find a time that works
(21:06):
well for you.
So let's talk about how thenervous system actually
reinforces earn under earning,because I already said like
under-earning probably is safe,right?
Like you don't really have toupset anybody, you don't have to
have those harder conversationsthat maybe you aren't used to
having.
I would also say here too, andI don't want to get into it, but
I think this also goes a littlebit back to sell selling.
What are our thoughts onselling?
(21:28):
I finally spend a long time inthe making, but I finally
purchased my car.
And I was having theconversation with the sales guy,
and I was like, these guys outhere that I talk to, they don't
even know how to sell.
They think selling is forcingyou into something.
What selling actually is, ishelping the client get what they
(21:48):
want and asking clarifyingquestions.
And sometimes that means buyinga car with you guys, and
sometimes it doesn't.
And I think that we kind ofhave all of this twisted belief
and just squirrely things aroundselling.
But selling to me is a chancefor me to get to know you, for
me to find out what are youactually looking for?
(22:09):
How, how do you want to besupported?
What do you actually want?
I get to ask you, are youwilling to do what you need to
do?
I get to ask very specificquestions about you and your
business.
I get to see where your mindsetis, where your body is, where
you are with your intuition.
Like it's a conversation.
And I listen.
(22:30):
And so I just think a lot oftimes we think we don't want to
have these harder conversationsaround selling.
And selling is not aboutforcing someone to come work
with you.
It's about finding out how youcan serve them.
And if you aren't willing toask some of these air quotes,
(22:50):
harder questions to really makeyour client think, and depending
on what you are, right?
Like I have some clients thatare coaches, I have salon
owners, I have, I mean, like allkinds.
So it really kind of goes backto what is your industry that
you're in.
So if it is, if you are havingsales calls, you know, are you
(23:11):
willing to just have aconversation and be there and
listen versus what are youfocusing on getting out of it?
So the way that our body,because our body feels safe with
under-earning, it associates orit will associate charging more
as a perceived threat, right?
(23:32):
If we already feel like moneyis a perceived threat, then we
want to charge more money.
That is even a bigger threat.
So you might be overthinkingthings, you might feel unease in
your body.
And that is all that that is isyour nervous system doing what
it does best, is protecting youand keeping you safe.
(23:53):
Shifting this pattern, you'vegot to help your body feel safe
being seen, asking for what youwant, receiving more, holding
more, I call it the capacity tohave more, right?
Have more money, make moremoney, circulate more money,
which all comes back to somaticpractices and mindset work.
(24:16):
So if you're feelingresistance, like if you've heard
this and you're like, okay,yes, this is totally me.
I'm totally under-earning, andyou're feeling resistance to
charging more.
Here are some questions thatyou can ask yourself.
One, what is the amount Iactually want to charge?
Or if it works better for you,like for me, I like to ask
(24:37):
myself yes or no questions.
You know, do I want to charge Xand I'll hear a yes or a no?
Do I want to charge Y and thenI'll hear a yes or a no?
And get to the place where yourbody says yes.
Number two, how can chargingmore actually be better for my
client and also for me?
Three, if my business bestiewas to call me and ask me these
(24:58):
same questions, you know, askingmyself, what would I tell her?
And four, if I think about thisin terms of just energy,
because I think a lot of ussometimes get hung up on money,
like the actual word of money.
So you think of it in terms ofenergy.
How do I look at it then?
Somatic work when I talk aboutgetting into the body, I think
at the basis, it always comesback to worthiness, to
(25:20):
lovability, and to our value.
So, first and foremost isbecoming aware, recognizing that
you're doing it, askingyourself some questions, and
then now creating a new pattern.
You know, you have to, in orderfor the new amount to actually
come into the 3D world, you haveto normalize it.
And you have to normalize itfor your nervous system and just
(25:42):
being with it.
So, how often are you actuallyimagining receiving the amount
of your new price?
Like, do you imagine those newprices?
Like I have Stripe.
Like, are you imagining the newprice going into your Stripe
account or your whatever yourpayment processor is?
How often are you saying it toyourself until you get to a
(26:04):
place where it doesn't evenaffect your body?
Like, are you able to justrattle it off?
If someone were to ask you,what do you charge?
Are you able to just say whatit is?
And you feel nothing in yourbody?
How much are you actuallybuilding evidence for other
women around you that arecharging and making what you
want so that you have theevidence list that if they can
do it, so can you, right?
(26:25):
Because if you believe that weall came from the same source,
if they can charge it, so canyou.
And so when you change yourenergy and what I'm really mean
is your frequency, you willnaturally have some clients that
don't continue to work withyou.
And that's perfectly okay.
Like they're not on that newfrequency.
And that doesn't mean that it'sa problem or that you're a
(26:46):
problem or they're a problem.
It just means that you'reallowing space for the new
clients on a new frequency tocome to you.
And this is what I will leaveyou with.
We all can be earning moremoney.
Like there is there's no, Idon't see that there's any
downside to earning more moneybecause I truly believe that all
(27:09):
of you that are listening, weall are light beings.
You know, we are all elevated,have an elevated conscience, you
know.
We we want good for the worldand humanity.
And so when more money gets inthe hands of women that love
themselves, that want to createand have businesses and
(27:32):
employees to support, you know,the employees and their families
and the vendors or thecontractors, or that that all
helps and circulates money andallows everyone to elevate their
lifestyle.
And when we do this, we givepermission to other women that
it's possible for them to do thesame.
(27:54):
And that I truly believe thatthe world could use more amazing
humans, more elevated,conscious humans that have a
better relationship with money.
Okay, that's what I have foryou.
As always, I love you.
I'm rooting for you.
Take what I say to heart, sitwith it, ponder, live in that
(28:19):
messy middle, be in that messymiddle for a bit, and really ask
yourself like, do I want tomake more money?
Do I want to charge?
Do I want to increase myprices?
You know, even ask yourself,are there clients that I
currently have that I'm notreally a hell yes for?
If the answer is you can thinkof some, why are you keeping
them on?
Doesn't mean that there'sanything wrong with them or
(28:39):
anything wrong with you, right?
But like we all get to likehave the best of the best of the
best.
So, okay, I'll see you in thenext episode.
In this episode, we are going to be diving into why
so many women, entrepreneursthat I have seen, are in this
cycle of undercharging andpossibly even under-earning, and
how people pleasing can show upin your pricing and the work
that is necessary for you to doin order to release these
(00:22):
patterns so that you can finallycharge what you want.
I don't really like using theword what you're worth because
we'll get into that, but reallystart charging what you actually
want to start charging.
So welcome back to your money,your rules podcast with me, your
host, Aaron Gray.
Okay, so let's talk aboutunder-earning, like what
actually I believe under earningis my, I don't even know, maybe
(00:45):
my definition.
I believe that it isn't justabout consistently earning a
lower revenue than you want.
It's also about earning lessthan you are capable of.
So it's it's this culminationof you want to earn more money,
(01:06):
you are capable of earning moremoney, you have a desire to earn
more money, and you aren't.
Now, I do want to say here thatif you are starting your
business, if you are a newbusiness owner and you're
ramping up your business andyou're earning and you're
growing, and maybe you're not atthe revenue that you want yet,
but you are working towardsthat, that is very different.
(01:29):
That's not what I'm talkingabout here.
I'm talking about if you wantto earn more money and you
aren't, you aren't doing thingsand taking steps and action and
being in the vibration of theperson that is earning that type
of money.
Because I I want to share thatbecause a lot of times I would,
in a way, I would listen topodcasts, and let's say a coach
(01:51):
or a mentor would say somethingand I would use it against me.
I would apply it to me, but Iwouldn't apply it in an
empowering way.
I would use it against me.
So I just want to say that ifyou are someone that is on your
way, right?
Like there, like I've talkedabout the law of gestation, like
there is some time of where youknow you want to earn X and
(02:12):
you're not there yet in the 3Dobserved world, but in your body
and in your taking action andin your business in the 5D,
you're already there.
That's very different.
It just takes a little bit forthe 3D to catch up to the 5D
world.
That's not what I'm talkingabout here.
I'm talking about you know youwant to earn more, you know
that, and you have a desire toearn more, but you've when you
(02:35):
feel in your body about chargingmore, you're not doing it.
So use your own decipheringskills and ask yourself and your
intuition like, is Aarontalking to me?
Am I one of those women whowants to earn more and is not
earning more?
So if you are one of thesewomen that I want to earn more
money, I'm capable of earningmore money, and I'm not, then
(02:56):
yes, you are under-earning.
And the way that you will knowthis is like how I say in every
episode is how you feel in yourbody.
So here is how I'm gonna talkabout a little bit about how
under-earning like shows up orpresents itself, and then how
you can work through this.
It always comes back to lack,right?
(03:18):
Feeling like you aren'tdelivering enough.
And when I say enough, I'm airquoting for those of you
listening.
So if you are over-delivering,or if you're constantly thinking
what I'm charging isn't like Ineed to be doing more, you know,
notice that not enoughness inthere, that lack.
So you are trying toover-deliver without increasing
(03:40):
your prices.
You are trying to compensate.
So that would be that's oneway.
Maybe you actually don't askfor what you actually want, or
you think that it's too much.
And I'm air quoting as well.
So you get what I always say,like you get in your head about
the numbers, you start tooverthink it, and you start
(04:01):
rationalizing and why you'recharging, and maybe you're like
calling, you know, a bunch ofpeople, like your business
besties, or you're asking yourfriends, or you know,
outsourcing your power and yourare in your head versus in your
body.
Another one is is if you've hadyour prices, the same prices
for some time, right?
And like what is some time,you're gonna have to decipher
(04:24):
this.
You're gonna have to askyourself these questions, like,
have I kept my prices, you know,at where they're at for however
long and I haven't beenchanging them.
Why haven't I been changingthem?
Like, start asking yourselfthese questions, then you'll
know.
So if you've wanted to increaseyour prices and you haven't, or
you've talked yourself out ofit, or if you are feeling, I was
talking to someone the otherday about this, if you're
(04:45):
feeling energetically likethere's a mismatch, like you're
you're providing this next levelof value to people and you are,
I wouldn't say resentment, butthat's the word that comes to
mind.
Like you're just feelingmislike there is an energetic
mismatch for the price that youare charging and the value that
you are providing, because youmight be afraid of you know
(05:06):
having that money conversation.
Just here you go back to noticehow you feel in your body.
And another one that I wouldgive you is if you are
discounting often.
Now, I always say everythinghas a caveat, everything is
nuanced, right?
Like you always have to takewhatever I say and then bring it
through your own filter.
(05:27):
But you know if this is youbecause you will resonate with
it and you'll if you askyourself in your intuition, you
know, you will recognize yes, itis or no, it's not.
But if you are discounting,let's just say a client that has
been an excellent client andyou just want to show some love
and appreciation for just theamazingness that they have been
(05:50):
for you, and you're like, youknow what, I just want to give a
discount.
That's one thing.
But if you're desk, you know,if you're discounting, I don't
want to say everyone, but a lotof people that come through your
door or, you know, on your inyour online business, then
that's where you have to startquestioning.
So this is where I always goback to don't outsource your
(06:10):
power, check in with you, checkin with your body, check in with
your intuition and yourbusiness.
You know, if you're gettingstarted in business and you're
choosing to charge a certainamount because you want to get
more experience.
Like I've had clients wherethey're they're starting out and
they are like, okay, I want tostart a little bit lower to kind
of get some momentum going,which that could be whole
(06:30):
debated as well.
But let's just go with thisexercise or example.
You know, I want to get somemomentum going, I want to get
reviews, I want to get, youknow, kind of work out my tweak
tweaks, and I'm willing tocharge a little bit less right
now while I'm in this figuringout phase.
Like sometimes people will dothis during a beta program,
right?
So, but you always have to justgo back to and loving your
(06:52):
reasons and checking yourenergy.
Like if you were to say, yes, Ilove my reasons because I'm
going to let these people pay alesser amount right now and
it'll never be this price again.
And I'm and I'm working onfiguring out these kinks.
And because that they are doingthis for me, I'm willing to be
at a lower price.
Okay.
But if you're like, oh, I don'tknow if anyone would pay that
(07:14):
amount or I'm afraid to chargethat, that's what I'm referring
to.
So you just have to play withthis.
You have to ask yourself.
This is where you have to getreally real with yourself and
you have to start asking thesequestions.
So I do want to say, you know,I feel like I live in these are
straddle, this 5D and this 3Dworld so much.
We're just having thisconversation about how, you
(07:38):
know, I have so much knowledgeof the 3D, of working with
attorneys and CPAs andbookkeepers.
And most of those types ofpeople aren't very energetically
aligned.
But I can speak that language,I understand what they're
saying, I know where they'recoming from.
But then I flip back over upinto my 5D of into my, you know,
the energetic of it andunderstand why we are doing
(08:02):
this, the mindset.
But pricing, I mean, if you'rereally being honest, it's all
just arbitrary, right?
Like it's all just BS.
It's just somebody decides thatthat is their perceived value
for the price and the or for thevalue that they are giving to
you.
Because someone is always goingto think you're too high,
someone is always going to thinkyou're just at the right price,
(08:23):
and someone's always going tothink you're too cheap.
Like everybody has their ownmoney story, you have yours,
they have their perceived value.
What is important about this isthat if you want to earn more
and you want to charge more andyou aren't, then that's where
the work begins.
So, as with anything, thisalways I think comes back to, I
(08:45):
don't want to say always, but itcomes back a lot of times to
safety.
Like we make decisions whetherwe know it or not, inherently,
right?
Like biologically, to say tostay safe, you know, safety in
the body, safety in the nervoussystem.
And I also think that part ofthis with charging or
undercharging is also a societalone.
I experienced this in myfamily's business.
(09:08):
I remember so often I wouldwant a raise.
I would know that the valuethat I was giving and providing
was well deserving of the raisethat I was asking for.
So I would go to my dad and Iwould tell him, you know, why or
I, you know, desired to have araise.
(09:29):
And then a lot of times what hewould do is he would have me
like list out or like explainmyself why I wanted it, what I
was doing for this increased,you know, amount.
And when I say doing, what Imean is like hours worked
because he kind of has a beliefaround, you know, time equals
money versus value is how moneyis created.
(09:51):
And because I could do thingsfaster than some other people,
because I had taken the time tounderstand taxes and really get
into very specific things in thebusiness that maybe most others
that had worked with him hadnot.
(10:12):
I made it look easy, but itthat didn't take away from the
value that I was providing.
And so because it took me lesstime to do something, I don't
think that he was reallythinking like, look at all of
the money that Aaron has savedus from understanding how taxes
(10:34):
were, you know, like when I camein and I figured out how to do
franchise tax and I understand,I understood how we were
overpaying.
Like I'm talking 50, 70something thousand dollars of
saving on franchise tax.
When I understood how, youknow, protecting our work and
our bonding and, you know, itwas probably over a million
(10:55):
dollars that because we filedclaims on other people's bonds
because they weren't paying, wewere able to be to receive that
million.
Had we not done that, had I notpaid attention, had I not
understood construction law andhow that works and how time and
dates are so sensitive and howall of that worked.
I know it was more than amillion.
(11:16):
So it's just those things thatI was, because of my wisdom and
my wisdom came from time inmotion, experience, learning.
And because I could do itfaster, easier, maybe than
someone else, from hisperspective, it didn't look like
it deserved, you know, what Iwas asking for.
(11:38):
And so when I would go to himand I would ask him for a raise,
a lot of times I felt like Ihad to prove myself.
And then I felt like I had togo to my uncle, and then I had
to prove myself to him as to howI would do it.
And sometimes they would belike, Well, what about this
other PM?
Like, we want to keep you guysat the same rate.
I'm like, we're not the same,we're doing completely different
things and our value isdifferent.
(11:58):
And yes, I believe everybody isvaluable in an organization.
And my role and what I wasdoing was deeply, my role deeply
impacted the company.
And because I used to feel likeI had to prove all the ways
(12:20):
that I was worthy of having orearning more money, not just
owning my brilliance, like theAaron now would have been like,
this is exactly why I am askingfor the raise.
And if he wouldn't, let's justsay, if he wouldn't have given
it to me, depending, right?
I I probably would have beenlike, okay, I'm gonna go work
somewhere else because I valuemyself that much.
(12:42):
I didn't value myself backthen, so I didn't own my
brilliance, I didn't own runninga multi-million dollar company
and all of the my own assets,right?
My own mindset and my ownbrilliance and knowledge that I
brought to that company.
(13:03):
And so I began to equate moremoney with doing more things.
Like I because I felt like Ihad to prove, then I would tack
on more.
Like when I look back on it, Iprobably did the job of three,
it was probably more than that,more three people, right?
For a long time, I was thebookkeeper, I was the CFO, I
also was the HR person, I alsowas the insurance person, also
(13:25):
kind of like managed, you know,the guys.
Did they need anything, getthem anything?
I always did with all the truckstuff.
So there was so much that I didthat I did not give my credit
myself credit for because I didit so easily and I made it look
easy.
And because I was taught alsogrowing up that money or time
(13:46):
equals money, I thought I had towork more, right?
And so I did that for, youknow, 10 years.
So when I started my ownbusiness, I still had that
belief.
That was something that Ineeded to work through.
I didn't own my brilliance of15 to 20 years in business and
you know, 15 years in financeand really owning like my
(14:10):
clients are so grateful to beworking with me because I have
so much knowledge.
I didn't own that because Ididn't have a strong sense of
self-worth and strong sense ofmy self-concept.
And so I say all of this to saythat if this is you, if you are
resonating with something, youknow, with what I am saying,
(14:30):
I've been there.
You know, I had to work throughthat.
A lot of us are still here inthis spot.
And the more that we talk aboutit, the more that we work
through this, the more women areactually earning what they want
to be earning and what theybelieve they are capable of
earning.
Like I want that for all of us.
(14:51):
I want that for each of you.
So, because in my body, youknow, it became unsafe.
I wouldn't probably use thethat that wording, but it became
unsafe to ask for things,right?
Ask for more money, because Iknew I would have to like go to
both of them and I would have tolike plead my case.
And it just felt like a lot ofeffort.
And I was having to experiencethis and it coming from that
(15:14):
proving energy, I just wanted toshare with you so that maybe if
you are experiencing this, thatyou see like, okay, hey, I'm
not the only one.
So if this brings up in you,like think about there's I'm
gonna list a couple of things,like fear of rejection.
You know, if I raise my prices,people might leave me, which is
(15:35):
a very, if you think about it,it's a very lack mentality
because you're not thinking if Iraise my prices, more clients
are actually going to, the onesthat are gonna be my dream
clients are gonna resonate withthat pricing and that frequency.
You're thinking more so of whatyou're losing.
And I love to think of it thatway.
Like if I have a client thatdoesn't renew, I think what's
happening is like I'm trying togo off script and just do my
(15:57):
thing, and then I'm like goingback and forth.
So let me start from the top onfear of rejection.
Okay, so let's talk about acouple of things that your body
might be feeling as to why youaren't increasing your prices.
So fear of rejection.
So maybe you're thinking, if Iraise my prices, people might
leave, which that actually mightbe true, you know, and and the
belief that I have when a clientand I part ways is another
(16:21):
amazing client is gonna filltheir spot.
I love all of my clients dearlyand I'm not attached to any of
them.
You know, many of us areattached to our clients and our
customers, and we are so afraidthat if one leaves or, you know,
several of them leave, what'sgonna happen?
It's like someone else is justgonna come that's at that new
frequency for you.
Okay.
(16:41):
Another one might be or show upfor you as perfectionism.
So you might be thinking, I'mnot ready yet.
I just need a little bit, youknow, more experience.
Like this is one that I hear alot of like I'll just take
another course.
I just need to do this first.
I just need a couple morebefore I actually put myself out
there, which to the mind itseems legit, but it's not
helpful.
And a lot of times it's notvery true for many of us.
(17:04):
I was talking to a friend ofmine the other day, and I told
was telling her because she wasasking me about some pricing.
And I said, you know, youreally have to account for the
30 years that you have inexperience.
You know, that is wisdom andthat and that saves so much time
and money and resources foryour client.
(17:25):
You know, the reason why I,Erin, can look at your books in
30 minutes and tell you what weneed to do differently, or get
on a call with you with your CPAor your attorney or bookkeeper,
whatever, and know exactly whatthey are talking about isn't
because I'm special.
It's because I have done thisfor, like I said, what, 15, 20
(17:47):
years now?
I'm trying to remember.
Like I think I startedfinancial planning when I was
like 25.
So you're paying me for myexperience.
I speed up time for you, Icollapse time for you.
I save you a lot of money andheartache by asking the
questions that you aren'tthinking about or you don't even
know to ask.
That's what you're doing withyour clients as well.
(18:10):
So really sit with this for abit and think about how you are
doing this, how you do have somuch experience, how you are
undervaluing that experience andthat wisdom that you have
gained over 20 plus years thatyou're able to provide for your
(18:32):
clients.
There is a perceived value forthat.
The other one I think comes up,I think with everybody, right?
It's the people pleasing.
And people pleasing shows up inall different ways.
But how it looks like withunder earning or undercharging
is you don't want to, you mightthink or you say you don't want
to make anyone feeluncomfortable or upset, right?
(18:53):
That you don't want them tofeel like that you're taking
advantage of them or that you'recharging too much, or just
notice how each of these beliefsthat I have mentioned, we have
this within ourselves.
And when we clear this up, youknow, charging what we want to
charge becomes easier becausewe're coming at it from our
energetic level and ourfrequency that we are at at that
(19:15):
time.
So I do want to say here,because I don't believe I hear a
lot of coaches talk about thislike charge what you're worth.
Your worth is infinite.
There is no price on yourworth, right?
We all come into this worldnaked and completely worthy.
We don't have to earn anything,we don't have to do anything,
but that's not what you'recharging.
You're charging for theperceived value that they will
(19:38):
be receiving for your service.
So I always also like to askmyself, would I charge, like,
would I pay for this?
The price that I'm paying,would I pay for this?
And if the answer is yes, thenI most definitely charge that.
So the way that because of the,you know, perfectionism or that
thinking that like I just haveto learn a little bit more, or
(20:00):
the fear of rejection, or youknow, the people pleasing, those
limiting beliefs create safetythrough staying small.
Like many of us have feltsafety in kind of being
invisible, not really being thatone that's showing, you know,
in the crowd of everyone.
(20:21):
And a lot of us have equatedsafety and scarcity to kind of
be the same thing.
But that just keeps us insurvival mode.
So if this is something thatyou have been working through
and you would love someone elseto help you to work through
this, to, you know, support youand cheer you on and root for
(20:44):
you, but also like empower youto really get into the mind, to
get into the body and help yousee where your blind spots are
and empower you so that you canreally step into that next level
version of you.
I would be honored to guide youthrough this.
All you have to do is justschedule the call, click the
link in the show notes, and thenyou can find a time that works
(21:06):
well for you.
So let's talk about how thenervous system actually
reinforces earn under earning,because I already said like
under-earning probably is safe,right?
Like you don't really have toupset anybody, you don't have to
have those harder conversationsthat maybe you aren't used to
having.
I would also say here too, andI don't want to get into it, but
I think this also goes a littlebit back to sell selling.
What are our thoughts onselling?
(21:28):
I finally spend a long time inthe making, but I finally
purchased my car.
And I was having theconversation with the sales guy,
and I was like, these guys outhere that I talk to, they don't
even know how to sell.
They think selling is forcingyou into something.
What selling actually is, ishelping the client get what they
(21:48):
want and asking clarifyingquestions.
And sometimes that means buyinga car with you guys, and
sometimes it doesn't.
And I think that we kind ofhave all of this twisted belief
and just squirrely things aroundselling.
But selling to me is a chancefor me to get to know you, for
me to find out what are youactually looking for?
(22:09):
How, how do you want to besupported?
What do you actually want?
I get to ask you, are youwilling to do what you need to
do?
I get to ask very specificquestions about you and your
business.
I get to see where your mindsetis, where your body is, where
you are with your intuition.
Like it's a conversation.
And I listen.
(22:30):
And so I just think a lot oftimes we think we don't want to
have these harder conversationsaround selling.
And selling is not aboutforcing someone to come work
with you.
It's about finding out how youcan serve them.
And if you aren't willing toask some of these air quotes,
(22:50):
harder questions to really makeyour client think, and depending
on what you are, right?
Like I have some clients thatare coaches, I have salon
owners, I have, I mean, like allkinds.
So it really kind of goes backto what is your industry that
you're in.
So if it is, if you are havingsales calls, you know, are you
(23:11):
willing to just have aconversation and be there and
listen versus what are youfocusing on getting out of it?
So the way that our body,because our body feels safe with
under-earning, it associates orit will associate charging more
as a perceived threat, right?
(23:32):
If we already feel like moneyis a perceived threat, then we
want to charge more money.
That is even a bigger threat.
So you might be overthinkingthings, you might feel unease in
your body.
And that is all that that is isyour nervous system doing what
it does best, is protecting youand keeping you safe.
(23:53):
Shifting this pattern, you'vegot to help your body feel safe
being seen, asking for what youwant, receiving more, holding
more, I call it the capacity tohave more, right?
Have more money, make moremoney, circulate more money,
which all comes back to somaticpractices and mindset work.
(24:16):
So if you're feelingresistance, like if you've heard
this and you're like, okay,yes, this is totally me.
I'm totally under-earning, andyou're feeling resistance to
charging more.
Here are some questions thatyou can ask yourself.
One, what is the amount Iactually want to charge?
Or if it works better for you,like for me, I like to ask
(24:37):
myself yes or no questions.
You know, do I want to charge Xand I'll hear a yes or a no?
Do I want to charge Y and thenI'll hear a yes or a no?
And get to the place where yourbody says yes.
Number two, how can chargingmore actually be better for my
client and also for me?
Three, if my business bestiewas to call me and ask me these
(24:58):
same questions, you know, askingmyself, what would I tell her?
And four, if I think about thisin terms of just energy,
because I think a lot of ussometimes get hung up on money,
like the actual word of money.
So you think of it in terms ofenergy.
How do I look at it then?
Somatic work when I talk aboutgetting into the body, I think
at the basis, it always comesback to worthiness, to
(25:20):
lovability, and to our value.
So, first and foremost isbecoming aware, recognizing that
you're doing it, askingyourself some questions, and
then now creating a new pattern.
You know, you have to, in orderfor the new amount to actually
come into the 3D world, you haveto normalize it.
And you have to normalize itfor your nervous system and just
(25:42):
being with it.
So, how often are you actuallyimagining receiving the amount
of your new price?
Like, do you imagine those newprices?
Like I have Stripe.
Like, are you imagining the newprice going into your Stripe
account or your whatever yourpayment processor is?
How often are you saying it toyourself until you get to a
(26:04):
place where it doesn't evenaffect your body?
Like, are you able to justrattle it off?
If someone were to ask you,what do you charge?
Are you able to just say whatit is?
And you feel nothing in yourbody?
How much are you actuallybuilding evidence for other
women around you that arecharging and making what you
want so that you have theevidence list that if they can
do it, so can you, right?
(26:25):
Because if you believe that weall came from the same source,
if they can charge it, so canyou.
And so when you change yourenergy and what I'm really mean
is your frequency, you willnaturally have some clients that
don't continue to work withyou.
And that's perfectly okay.
Like they're not on that newfrequency.
And that doesn't mean that it'sa problem or that you're a
(26:46):
problem or they're a problem.
It just means that you'reallowing space for the new
clients on a new frequency tocome to you.
And this is what I will leaveyou with.
We all can be earning moremoney.
Like there is there's no, Idon't see that there's any
downside to earning more moneybecause I truly believe that all
(27:09):
of you that are listening, weall are light beings.
You know, we are all elevated,have an elevated conscience, you
know.
We we want good for the worldand humanity.
And so when more money gets inthe hands of women that love
themselves, that want to createand have businesses and
(27:32):
employees to support, you know,the employees and their families
and the vendors or thecontractors, or that that all
helps and circulates money andallows everyone to elevate their
lifestyle.
And when we do this, we givepermission to other women that
it's possible for them to do thesame.
(27:54):
And that I truly believe thatthe world could use more amazing
humans, more elevated,conscious humans that have a
better relationship with money.
Okay, that's what I have foryou.
As always, I love you.
I'm rooting for you.
Take what I say to heart, sitwith it, ponder, live in that
(28:19):
messy middle, be in that messymiddle for a bit, and really ask
yourself like, do I want tomake more money?
Do I want to charge?
Do I want to increase myprices?
You know, even ask yourself,are there clients that I
currently have that I'm notreally a hell yes for?
If the answer is you can thinkof some, why are you keeping
them on?
Doesn't mean that there'sanything wrong with them or
(28:39):
anything wrong with you, right?
But like we all get to likehave the best of the best of the
best.
So, okay, I'll see you in thenext episode.
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