December 4, 2025 • 24 mins
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In this episode, I want you to rethink what it means to protect your most important asset: you. Your energy, attention, and capacity aren’t just personal, they directly impact your business, your wealth, and your long-term success.
In this episode we discuss:
- Why energy is your real currency and how to protect it
- The effects of over giving, people-pleasing, and busywork
- Reframing time, money, and energy to benefit and support you
- How rest, recovery, and boundaries are actually productive
- Practical tools to identify micro energy leaks and increase your capacity
Other ways to connect with me:
Come learn with me in my monthly workshops
➡️ Join here
Grab your free Human Design chart
➡️ Schedule your free clarity call here
From my soul to yours,
Erin
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Erin Gray (00:00):
I want to follow up for the previous podcast that I
released on Monday.
Today I want to talk aboutsomething that most people
completely overlook when theythink about assets.
You know, so many of us aretaught to focus on money or
investments or real estateproperty.
You know, things that you cansee, that you can touch, that
you can track.
What I always talk about, likethe stuff that's in that 3D
(00:22):
observed world.
And I believe that the mostimportant asset that we have,
each of us have, is ourselves,our energy, our attention, our
well-being, because everythingelse is going to cascade from
there.
I was in a podcast group, I meanit was about a year ago, a year
and a half ago.
And the mentor that was talkingabout the new currency that is
(00:47):
actually in the world is ourattention.
And I believe this is so truebecause think about how highly
coveted our attention is thisday and time.
So a lot of us, you know, don'tthink about ourselves, our
attention, our like protectingus.
We are the number one asset, youknow.
So because we don't valueourselves, because we don't
(01:08):
think about ourselves in thisway, a lot of times we
overcommit, we overwork, weoverextend ourselves.
We think about everyone andeverything else is more
important than what we are.
And today I want to talk aboutand show you why protecting your
number one asset, which Ibelieve is you, each of us,
right?
You are the number one asset.
I am my number one asset.
(01:29):
You know, your business bestieis her number one asset.
You know, really start to thinkabout that.
And that is actually thefoundation for everything else
in our life, our business, ourrelationships, our money, our
just our entire life.
So think about it that way.
And today we're going to diveinto this topic.
So, like I mentioned, I talkedabout this briefly in the
previous episode that about lifegiving and life draining energy
(01:55):
or tasks.
I don't like the word tasks, butjust what are the life force?
Time is unlimited.
We push off things, we waste ourtime.
And I know I have talked aboutlike nothing is ever wasted.
But when you really start tothink about how am I using my
energy and am I thinking thattime is completely unlimited,
(02:16):
but money is, you know, finiteversus that my time here on
earth is has a set amount andmoney is unlimited.
And because that we think thefirst way, where our money is,
you know, finite and our time isunlimited, we aren't as
(02:38):
protective of our time and ofour energy.
So what that might look like iswe might over-deliver, you know,
when it comes to work.
And a lot of this is going tocome back to what do we actually
believe about ourselves and whatdo we do we value ourselves?
Do we believe that we're worthy?
(02:58):
So we might over-deliver withclients, and that might come
from improving energy.
We might scroll on social media.
Like I was having thisconversation, it's been probably
a couple months with a client.
And the way that she was tryingto wind down was scrolling
social media.
And I said, let's just figureout a different way to wind down
that is more productive and morehelpful to your nervous system,
as well as creating thatdopamine hit besides social
(03:20):
media.
Maybe we say yes to everyrequest.
We don't know how to say no yet,you know, because we have so
many thoughts and beliefs aboutlike ourselves of when we say
no.
So we treat other assets likemoney or property as more
important than ourselves.
And this is where we haven'ttruly yet embodied this at a
(03:42):
very and understood it at a verycellular level.
Like there is thisunderstanding, which I think is
very logical.
It's you get it with your mind,but to know it, to live it is
when you actually like take itinto the body, right?
(04:02):
Like you actually live it andembody it.
And so if you are depleted, noother asset that you have
matters.
You know, I can't tell you howmany times that I have talked to
people that have, you know,worked their life to build their
business, to sell it.
And because they have worked andburned themselves out, their
(04:24):
health isn't, they haven't, youknow, maintained relationships,
they don't have hobbies.
There's just so many things thatwe have, you know, if we aren't
aware, we will put value onother things besides ourselves.
So you can have all the money inthe world.
(04:45):
But if your energy is drained,if you don't have your health,
if you haven't, you know,cultivated your creativity, if
you haven't practiced andcultivated your the way that you
make decisions, think about yourrelationships, even you know,
(05:07):
your ability to earn more can Iwant to say compromise, but just
think about like your energy isthe capital that allows
everything else to grow.
Like it is the foundation, whoyou are, what you believe about
yourself, that is the mostimportant thing.
(05:29):
Everything about you is the mostimportant asset.
And I want to offer that if youwant support to think
differently about this, to havesomeone give you a more of a
30,000-foot view, like what I dobrilliantly with clients is I
ask you very potent,thought-provoking questions.
Because part of my job ofworking with you is to get you
(05:51):
to think differently.
Because when you thinkdifferently, you live
differently, you make differentdecisions, and that creates a
different trajectory in yourlife.
So when you're able to thinkdifferently, make decisions more
clearly, more simply, withoutall of the mind drama, more
confidently, you know, likeyou're trusting your intuition,
(06:12):
that saves you so much time.
So if this is something thatyou've been around here for a
while and you're like, you knowwhat?
I really am feeling a call in myheart to visit with Aaron, you
can click the link in the shownotes and schedule a call with
me.
I also want to remind you thatthe workshop that I will be
hosting in December is going tobe all about communicating with
(06:35):
your spouse.
Better, I should say, moreimproved when it comes to money.
And if you want to come and joinus for the workshop, then click
that link in the show notes aswell.
And you can register and you canhave come have some fun, ask
some questions, learn somestuff, and join us.
Okay, so what does this actuallylook like?
I always like to go from the 5D,like you have to think
(06:58):
differently.
And then also, like, what doesthis look like?
Practicality, you know,everybody wants to know about
the how.
And I want to say when it comesto the how, it's gonna be
different for every person.
How you feel in your body isdifferent, how I feel in my
body.
What your intuition says mightbe different than mine, but I
want to kind of just give you anoverview, and then you're gonna
need to go, like I say, witheverything else.
You're gonna need to go andyou're gonna need to play with
(07:20):
this.
But I will say that no matterwho you are, neglecting
yourself, it doesn't always looklike really big.
I think that it's almost kind oflike this chipping away over
time, right?
It doesn't, it's not like thesebig things that we're doing,
it's in these micro moments,right?
It can be so subtle.
You know, you can say thatyou're busy all the time.
(07:42):
Like I think there's a lot ofpeople in today's world where we
say we're busy.
I try not to use that languageanymore because I think there's
a lot of association with busyof like I'm important, like I've
done a lot, versus like I liketo say my plate is full and that
everything that's on my plate,like in the best way, right?
Like with everything that's onmy plate, everything that's on
(08:03):
my calendar is because I want itto be there.
But if you're saying that you'rebusy all the time, but then at
the end of the day, you don'teven know what you've
accomplished.
You don't, you feel like so justlike worn out, ready to sit on
the couch, you know, think abouthow you're feeling.
I think this really goes back tothis deeper feelings of like
proving or worthiness.
(08:24):
And a lot of us have grown up,you know, get gaining our or
believing that our value iscoming from proving.
Like we've had to show or proveourselves of like if you're
busy, if you're beingproductive, like that's another
word, you know, then then you'reworthy versus just like knowing
you're whole, you're worthy justas you are, and where do you
(08:46):
want to spend your time?
So maybe those words weren'tsaid exactly to you growing up,
but for sure I know in thebusiness in the corporate world,
this is language, right?
This is the language that weuse.
And so, where did we pick upthese messages?
Are we using this language?
And what kind of language do wewant to start using and thinking
(09:08):
about so that we can reallystart honoring and protecting
our energy?
Maybe going back toproductiveness, you know, maybe
you are pushing through whenyou're tired, when you're
exhausted, because rest doesn'trest and productiveness aren't
in your mind the same, likethey're not parallel, they're
(09:30):
not actually friends.
You know, we think productive isthe doing, the masculine.
Productive is also resting andthinking and napping and giving
ourselves that our bodies thisum rest so that we can
regenerate and we can come backand we can be even stronger.
You know, my brother, I don'tknow if he still says this.
(09:51):
He might, my mom's told me thisthe other day.
I think that he said he used tosay that naps are nasty.
And I'm like, no, they're not.
You know, they there's a timefor us to rest, to recharge.
You know, we when you reallystart to think about, I am my
most valuable asset, then you'regoing to move differently in the
(10:12):
world.
I want you to think about likeyourself as like the most finest
thoroughbred horse.
And I know that might soundsilly, but when we look at
things sometimes outside ofourselves, we can receive that
message a little bit easier ormaybe more clear, you know?
So think about, I don't know, Idon't know too much about the
Kentucky Derby, but like I'mpretty sure they're probably a
(10:35):
million plus dollar race horses,right?
So think about what is thatregimen?
Like what is that, what what isthat day in, day out for that
horse?
What kind of food do you thinkit gets fed?
What kind of exercise do youthink that it goes through?
What kind of rest do you think,right?
So, what are all the trainersthat that that horse has for
(10:58):
that one specific horse?
You know, how are they takingcare of that horse every single
day so that it can show up tothe race and ultimately win?
Right.
Like that's the goal.
So I want you to think aboutyourself.
Like, how are you fuelingyourself from a from a rest
perspective, from a foodperspective, from a liquid
perspective, from doing doingthings in your business that you
(11:19):
love or you don't love?
Are you continuing to do thosethings?
Like, how are you the mostsupportive and loving to
yourself?
Also think about like where doyou compromise your own
priorities for other people'swants or desires and
expectations?
And you might be doing thissubconsciously.
You may not even be questioning,like, I do this sometimes.
(11:40):
Like, I'm not saying here I'mperfect, but there are times
where I'm like in the middle ofsomething.
I'm like, wait a second, youdidn't even ask yourself if you
wanted to do this.
And so, really going back andbeing like, okay, hang on a
second, before you do anything,like almost become very hyper
aware of what are you doing?
What are you saying yes to?
(12:00):
You know, a lot of times this isvery habitual, and habits come
from our self-concept.
So and like I said, you know,I'm an open book.
I was noticing myself this pastweek doing this.
I was had said yes to somethingbefore I even stopped and asked
myself.
And then as I was in it, andhere's the thing that you will
(12:23):
know you will know how you, youknow, if it's a yes or no for
you or by how you feel.
And if I can encourage you totune into anything, it is to
tune into your body even more.
So these are just these can be,right?
They can be small energy leaks,but they can end up being really
(12:44):
big ones because they compoundover time.
So I always like to look at likethe 1% with clients, you know,
those micro shifts.
So think about your micro shiftsof where are you slowly eroding
your potency over time?
Think about how that might erodeyour focus, your confidence,
(13:04):
your nervous system stability.
And if you're not protectingyour energy now, who is gonna do
it for you if you don't?
That's the first question.
And second of all, at what pointare you going to realize that
you aren't?
Is it gonna be, is it gonna cometo the place where you have to
feel exhausted or burned out?
You know, are you gonna be sofrustrated?
(13:27):
Like that's where I got probablysix years ago.
I just was angry at the world.
And so that was my cue to belike, hang on a second,
something's gotta change becauseI didn't like who I was.
So you have to also go back tolike those are practical things
that you might pay attention to,but what you really need to look
(13:48):
at is your mindset.
I always start with that 5D,right?
So the first step for you wouldbe recognizing you as the most
important asset.
Like if I ask you that rightnow, do you view yourself as
your most important asset?
The answer is no.
Then we got to go back and wegot to be like, okay, what are
the beliefs that I have aboutmyself?
This begins with evaluating yourself-concept.
(14:09):
Like your self-concept is whatdrives everything.
So, what do you currentlybelieve about yourself?
Who you are, your ability andyour capability.
Do you view yourself as someonewho is highly successful in
business, whose time is preciousand her body is like the most, I
(14:30):
come back to asset, right?
Like valuable thing.
Like we only have one body.
We only have one vessel on thisearth, our body, right?
So if we don't take care of ourbody, if we don't take care of
our mind, if we aren't connectedspiritually, then everything
else is going to cascade and andit's gonna show up differently
for us.
So are you speaking kindly toyourself?
(14:52):
Do you value yourself?
Do you value your brain?
Like I've really been talking tomy daughter lately about like
her brain is like so valuable,so valuable.
All of our brains are, right?
Like, so really, do you reallythink about your brain that way?
Are you what you are reading,what you are watching, podcasts
that you are listening to?
Are you consuming informationthat is helpful to your brain?
(15:17):
What are you doing to your body?
Are you treating it and givingit so much love and support from
a food and uh water and all thethings?
What about your emotions?
Are you processing youremotions?
Or are you just like, oh, Idon't have time for that?
You know, on to the next thing.
Like your emotions are your key.
They are telling you constantly,telling you they're like your
(15:39):
GPS.
So are you paying attention toyour emotions?
And when we change ourself-concept, the behavior
naturally follows, but so manyof us try to change the behavior
first and then think that theself-concept matches catches up,
but that's not how it works.
I I was, I don't know what Iwas, I think it was sure it was
probably YouTube, because that'sabout all I watch.
(16:01):
And they were talking about likeJessica Simpson and releasing
weight or something.
And she said it was like fromwillpower.
And I was like, oh, isn't thatfascinating?
Like that is that is definitelymoving from the 3D versus
changing your self-concept ofsomeone just wanting to be
healthy and releasing weightversus I just had, you know,
willpower to me is like I musterthrough this, right?
(16:23):
Versus changing your beliefsabout yourself and then letting
the behavior, you know, follow.
So think about when you valueyourself, when you know that you
are inherently worthy anddeserving of having an amazing
life, you're gonna makedifferent choices.
You're gonna choose based onwhat fuels you instead of the
(16:46):
people pleasing and the habitsthat you're used to doing
because that is what you're usedto doing.
Like it feels uncomfortable tostart to say no.
So start first with yourself-concept.
Journal that out.
Do you describe yourself?
If I were to ask you, do youtalk about yourself in an
uplifting way or an empoweringway?
(17:08):
Do you believe that you'reconfident, that you're
successful, that you're wealthy,that you're regulated, that your
nervous system is regulated?
Do you feel calm, powerful,empowered?
Like journal on yourself-concept and then journal on
what you want to believe aboutyourself and start believing
that now.
And the thing that I will sayabout this is first and
foremost, it's always awareness.
(17:29):
You've got to get out on paper,you've got to see what you
actually think about yourself.
I think so many times in thespiritual world, we try to
gaslight ourselves or we try tobypass, maybe that's a better
way to say it.
We try to bypass what we thinkabout ourselves.
No, it needs to come up and out.
We need to see what we actuallythink about ourselves.
And then we get to decide how dowe want to think about
ourselves?
(17:50):
And then when we decide, okay, Iwant to change my beliefs and I
want to change my self-concept,then you're gonna have to take
action from that place.
So if you say, okay, I want tobe feeling more confident, well,
then when the time comes to feelmore confident, that might be
making a decision and notdoubting yourself.
It might say saying something tosomeone that you may not have
(18:11):
said before.
You're going to be presentedwith opportunities for you to
show that you're more confident.
And it's in the actual actionthat you fuse the belief because
you have the belief and you alsohave to move from that belief.
So once you look at yourself-concept, and this is
something that I help clientswith.
(18:32):
So if this is something that isof interest to you, reach out.
I can, you know, we can have aconversation and see if we're a
good fit for each other.
Then what you want to do is asksome specific questions on
actually the 3D part, like whatare you actually doing?
Ask, like, does the thing thatI'm about to do, does it
energize me or does it depleteme?
I would I always like to say,like, do a calendar audit, you
(18:56):
know, tracking your your when Isay calendar, I mean what you
have on your calendar and howyou feel, like your energy
across the week, right?
So notice when you're doingspecific tasks, first of all,
are you doing them out ofobligation?
And how do you feel when you dothem?
So protecting those I call themlike the blocks of time that are
(19:21):
life-giving.
Like I talked about that in theprevious episode, like the
life-giving, those are the bigrocks, those are the things that
you need to be putting on yourcalendar first, you know,
learning to say no, feeling thatdiscomfort, because if you are
someone who has people pleasedall their life, which this was
me, then it is gonna feeluncomfortable.
The shame and the doubt or theguilt is gonna come up and it's
(19:43):
coming up to be transcended.
So when you act from the fromthe perspective or the belief
that you are the most importantasset, then all these other
decisions, like how you spendmoney, how you structure your
business, how you show up inyour relationships, how you are
with your friends, how you arewith your children, they're
(20:05):
going to naturally fall intoplace because you're moving
first from a person who valuesthemselves.
You know, there areconversations that I don't
necessarily have anymore withpeople because I value my energy
and I know I'm the number oneasset.
And so is it worth my time tohave a conversation with
(20:27):
somebody who's not ready toreceive a message?
No.
You know, I'm not here toconvince or prove to anybody
anymore.
Like when they're ready, they'reready.
But I'm not here to, you know,to show you all that I know and
to prove that, you know, I canhelp you.
And like some people just arenot ready to receive a message.
So really recognizing where ismy energy most efficient and
(20:50):
most useful and a good, yeah,good use of my time, right?
So you have to really start tothink about where are you, I
would look at it as more of anovergiving, right?
Where are you over giving yourtime?
I have this a lot with clients.
Where are you over givingadvice?
Where are you over giving adviceto people that they aren't
(21:12):
paying you for?
Because that's really importanttoo.
And yes, I believe in, you know,giving and helping people, and
not everybody, you know, likeI'm not saying that everything
needs to be paid for, but if youhave friends that are coming to
you with the same thing over andover again, like I've had family
members this way, there's justno point in having this
(21:34):
conversation for the 257th time.
And so my energy is betterserved somewhere else.
And so you just have to bemindful of where are you
overgiving.
And that can look like money,that can look like time, that
can look like I mean, so manydifferent areas, right?
So just really get clear whereare you doing this?
And the example that I wouldhave you or leave you with is
(21:54):
thinking about your, like I saidbefore and earlier, is like
think about your energy as yourcapital.
Your nervous system is the bank.
So every time you ignore yourneeds, you overcommit, you
overgive, you're basicallywithdrawing right this energy
without depositing it back.
Over time, you're gonna bedepleting, right?
(22:15):
Now, I know I talk a lot aboutmoney as circulating and money's
energy, and we're all energy,but you know, when you think
about if you're just continuingto take, right, deplete, that
energy is going somewhere else.
So really start to honor yourenergy.
When you value yourself, you'rebuilding up this allocation that
(22:37):
allows you to operate from youknow, more calmness, more
clarity, confidence, and ease.
Like it's really about spendingtime on yourself so that you
learn how to first like I alwaystalk about like you can't pour
from an empty cup when youbelieve that you're whole, when
you are when I say fed, I meanlike spiritually and emotionally
(22:59):
and energetically and all of it.
Then you get to show up forother people.
So today, this week, thisweekend, ponder.
Am I protecting the mostimportant asset?
Pick one, you know, really diveinto your self-concept, pick one
action that you're gonna dothat's gonna honor your energy
and let it be about somethingthat you probably would be like
(23:22):
a 180.
What are you, what are you usedto saying yes to that you want
to say no to, or vice versa?
So, where in your life, what isone area of your life, whether
it's business or with your kidsor your spouse or friends or you
know, your community, where isone area that you are used to
over giving that you're ready topull back on some?
And if you want support to thinkdifferently about valuing
(23:45):
yourself more so that you canprotect your energy while
building wealth and impact, youcan reach out to me to schedule
a discovery call.
You can just click the link inthe show notes for us to
connect.
As always, I love you.
I love each of you.
I'm rooting for you.
You are the number one asset.
The world needs more of us thatbelieve that to our core, that
(24:09):
have fully embodied that, thatshow up for ourselves first so
that we can show up for others,so that we can be an example of
what is possible to other womenin the world, to our children.
Like this is generational stuffthat we are transcending and
changing.
So that is all I have for youtoday.
I will see you in the nextepisode.
I want to follow up for the previous podcast that I
released on Monday.
Today I want to talk aboutsomething that most people
completely overlook when theythink about assets.
You know, so many of us aretaught to focus on money or
investments or real estateproperty.
You know, things that you cansee, that you can touch, that
you can track.
What I always talk about, likethe stuff that's in that 3D
(00:22):
observed world.
And I believe that the mostimportant asset that we have,
each of us have, is ourselves,our energy, our attention, our
well-being, because everythingelse is going to cascade from
there.
I was in a podcast group, I meanit was about a year ago, a year
and a half ago.
And the mentor that was talkingabout the new currency that is
(00:47):
actually in the world is ourattention.
And I believe this is so truebecause think about how highly
coveted our attention is thisday and time.
So a lot of us, you know, don'tthink about ourselves, our
attention, our like protectingus.
We are the number one asset, youknow.
So because we don't valueourselves, because we don't
(01:08):
think about ourselves in thisway, a lot of times we
overcommit, we overwork, weoverextend ourselves.
We think about everyone andeverything else is more
important than what we are.
And today I want to talk aboutand show you why protecting your
number one asset, which Ibelieve is you, each of us,
right?
You are the number one asset.
I am my number one asset.
(01:29):
You know, your business bestieis her number one asset.
You know, really start to thinkabout that.
And that is actually thefoundation for everything else
in our life, our business, ourrelationships, our money, our
just our entire life.
So think about it that way.
And today we're going to diveinto this topic.
So, like I mentioned, I talkedabout this briefly in the
previous episode that about lifegiving and life draining energy
(01:55):
or tasks.
I don't like the word tasks, butjust what are the life force?
Time is unlimited.
We push off things, we waste ourtime.
And I know I have talked aboutlike nothing is ever wasted.
But when you really start tothink about how am I using my
energy and am I thinking thattime is completely unlimited,
(02:16):
but money is, you know, finiteversus that my time here on
earth is has a set amount andmoney is unlimited.
And because that we think thefirst way, where our money is,
you know, finite and our time isunlimited, we aren't as
(02:38):
protective of our time and ofour energy.
So what that might look like iswe might over-deliver, you know,
when it comes to work.
And a lot of this is going tocome back to what do we actually
believe about ourselves and whatdo we do we value ourselves?
Do we believe that we're worthy?
(02:58):
So we might over-deliver withclients, and that might come
from improving energy.
We might scroll on social media.
Like I was having thisconversation, it's been probably
a couple months with a client.
And the way that she was tryingto wind down was scrolling
social media.
And I said, let's just figureout a different way to wind down
that is more productive and morehelpful to your nervous system,
as well as creating thatdopamine hit besides social
(03:20):
media.
Maybe we say yes to everyrequest.
We don't know how to say no yet,you know, because we have so
many thoughts and beliefs aboutlike ourselves of when we say
no.
So we treat other assets likemoney or property as more
important than ourselves.
And this is where we haven'ttruly yet embodied this at a
(03:42):
very and understood it at a verycellular level.
Like there is thisunderstanding, which I think is
very logical.
It's you get it with your mind,but to know it, to live it is
when you actually like take itinto the body, right?
(04:02):
Like you actually live it andembody it.
And so if you are depleted, noother asset that you have
matters.
You know, I can't tell you howmany times that I have talked to
people that have, you know,worked their life to build their
business, to sell it.
And because they have worked andburned themselves out, their
(04:24):
health isn't, they haven't, youknow, maintained relationships,
they don't have hobbies.
There's just so many things thatwe have, you know, if we aren't
aware, we will put value onother things besides ourselves.
So you can have all the money inthe world.
(04:45):
But if your energy is drained,if you don't have your health,
if you haven't, you know,cultivated your creativity, if
you haven't practiced andcultivated your the way that you
make decisions, think about yourrelationships, even you know,
(05:07):
your ability to earn more can Iwant to say compromise, but just
think about like your energy isthe capital that allows
everything else to grow.
Like it is the foundation, whoyou are, what you believe about
yourself, that is the mostimportant thing.
(05:29):
Everything about you is the mostimportant asset.
And I want to offer that if youwant support to think
differently about this, to havesomeone give you a more of a
30,000-foot view, like what I dobrilliantly with clients is I
ask you very potent,thought-provoking questions.
Because part of my job ofworking with you is to get you
(05:51):
to think differently.
Because when you thinkdifferently, you live
differently, you make differentdecisions, and that creates a
different trajectory in yourlife.
So when you're able to thinkdifferently, make decisions more
clearly, more simply, withoutall of the mind drama, more
confidently, you know, likeyou're trusting your intuition,
(06:12):
that saves you so much time.
So if this is something thatyou've been around here for a
while and you're like, you knowwhat?
I really am feeling a call in myheart to visit with Aaron, you
can click the link in the shownotes and schedule a call with
me.
I also want to remind you thatthe workshop that I will be
hosting in December is going tobe all about communicating with
(06:35):
your spouse.
Better, I should say, moreimproved when it comes to money.
And if you want to come and joinus for the workshop, then click
that link in the show notes aswell.
And you can register and you canhave come have some fun, ask
some questions, learn somestuff, and join us.
Okay, so what does this actuallylook like?
I always like to go from the 5D,like you have to think
(06:58):
differently.
And then also, like, what doesthis look like?
Practicality, you know,everybody wants to know about
the how.
And I want to say when it comesto the how, it's gonna be
different for every person.
How you feel in your body isdifferent, how I feel in my
body.
What your intuition says mightbe different than mine, but I
want to kind of just give you anoverview, and then you're gonna
need to go, like I say, witheverything else.
You're gonna need to go andyou're gonna need to play with
(07:20):
this.
But I will say that no matterwho you are, neglecting
yourself, it doesn't always looklike really big.
I think that it's almost kind oflike this chipping away over
time, right?
It doesn't, it's not like thesebig things that we're doing,
it's in these micro moments,right?
It can be so subtle.
You know, you can say thatyou're busy all the time.
(07:42):
Like I think there's a lot ofpeople in today's world where we
say we're busy.
I try not to use that languageanymore because I think there's
a lot of association with busyof like I'm important, like I've
done a lot, versus like I liketo say my plate is full and that
everything that's on my plate,like in the best way, right?
Like with everything that's onmy plate, everything that's on
(08:03):
my calendar is because I want itto be there.
But if you're saying that you'rebusy all the time, but then at
the end of the day, you don'teven know what you've
accomplished.
You don't, you feel like so justlike worn out, ready to sit on
the couch, you know, think abouthow you're feeling.
I think this really goes back tothis deeper feelings of like
proving or worthiness.
(08:24):
And a lot of us have grown up,you know, get gaining our or
believing that our value iscoming from proving.
Like we've had to show or proveourselves of like if you're
busy, if you're beingproductive, like that's another
word, you know, then then you'reworthy versus just like knowing
you're whole, you're worthy justas you are, and where do you
(08:46):
want to spend your time?
So maybe those words weren'tsaid exactly to you growing up,
but for sure I know in thebusiness in the corporate world,
this is language, right?
This is the language that weuse.
And so, where did we pick upthese messages?
Are we using this language?
And what kind of language do wewant to start using and thinking
(09:08):
about so that we can reallystart honoring and protecting
our energy?
Maybe going back toproductiveness, you know, maybe
you are pushing through whenyou're tired, when you're
exhausted, because rest doesn'trest and productiveness aren't
in your mind the same, likethey're not parallel, they're
(09:30):
not actually friends.
You know, we think productive isthe doing, the masculine.
Productive is also resting andthinking and napping and giving
ourselves that our bodies thisum rest so that we can
regenerate and we can come backand we can be even stronger.
You know, my brother, I don'tknow if he still says this.
(09:51):
He might, my mom's told me thisthe other day.
I think that he said he used tosay that naps are nasty.
And I'm like, no, they're not.
You know, they there's a timefor us to rest, to recharge.
You know, we when you reallystart to think about, I am my
most valuable asset, then you'regoing to move differently in the
(10:12):
world.
I want you to think about likeyourself as like the most finest
thoroughbred horse.
And I know that might soundsilly, but when we look at
things sometimes outside ofourselves, we can receive that
message a little bit easier ormaybe more clear, you know?
So think about, I don't know, Idon't know too much about the
Kentucky Derby, but like I'mpretty sure they're probably a
(10:35):
million plus dollar race horses,right?
So think about what is thatregimen?
Like what is that, what what isthat day in, day out for that
horse?
What kind of food do you thinkit gets fed?
What kind of exercise do youthink that it goes through?
What kind of rest do you think,right?
So, what are all the trainersthat that that horse has for
(10:58):
that one specific horse?
You know, how are they takingcare of that horse every single
day so that it can show up tothe race and ultimately win?
Right.
Like that's the goal.
So I want you to think aboutyourself.
Like, how are you fuelingyourself from a from a rest
perspective, from a foodperspective, from a liquid
perspective, from doing doingthings in your business that you
(11:19):
love or you don't love?
Are you continuing to do thosethings?
Like, how are you the mostsupportive and loving to
yourself?
Also think about like where doyou compromise your own
priorities for other people'swants or desires and
expectations?
And you might be doing thissubconsciously.
You may not even be questioning,like, I do this sometimes.
(11:40):
Like, I'm not saying here I'mperfect, but there are times
where I'm like in the middle ofsomething.
I'm like, wait a second, youdidn't even ask yourself if you
wanted to do this.
And so, really going back andbeing like, okay, hang on a
second, before you do anything,like almost become very hyper
aware of what are you doing?
What are you saying yes to?
(12:00):
You know, a lot of times this isvery habitual, and habits come
from our self-concept.
So and like I said, you know,I'm an open book.
I was noticing myself this pastweek doing this.
I was had said yes to somethingbefore I even stopped and asked
myself.
And then as I was in it, andhere's the thing that you will
(12:23):
know you will know how you, youknow, if it's a yes or no for
you or by how you feel.
And if I can encourage you totune into anything, it is to
tune into your body even more.
So these are just these can be,right?
They can be small energy leaks,but they can end up being really
(12:44):
big ones because they compoundover time.
So I always like to look at likethe 1% with clients, you know,
those micro shifts.
So think about your micro shiftsof where are you slowly eroding
your potency over time?
Think about how that might erodeyour focus, your confidence,
(13:04):
your nervous system stability.
And if you're not protectingyour energy now, who is gonna do
it for you if you don't?
That's the first question.
And second of all, at what pointare you going to realize that
you aren't?
Is it gonna be, is it gonna cometo the place where you have to
feel exhausted or burned out?
You know, are you gonna be sofrustrated?
(13:27):
Like that's where I got probablysix years ago.
I just was angry at the world.
And so that was my cue to belike, hang on a second,
something's gotta change becauseI didn't like who I was.
So you have to also go back tolike those are practical things
that you might pay attention to,but what you really need to look
(13:48):
at is your mindset.
I always start with that 5D,right?
So the first step for you wouldbe recognizing you as the most
important asset.
Like if I ask you that rightnow, do you view yourself as
your most important asset?
The answer is no.
Then we got to go back and wegot to be like, okay, what are
the beliefs that I have aboutmyself?
This begins with evaluating yourself-concept.
(14:09):
Like your self-concept is whatdrives everything.
So, what do you currentlybelieve about yourself?
Who you are, your ability andyour capability.
Do you view yourself as someonewho is highly successful in
business, whose time is preciousand her body is like the most, I
(14:30):
come back to asset, right?
Like valuable thing.
Like we only have one body.
We only have one vessel on thisearth, our body, right?
So if we don't take care of ourbody, if we don't take care of
our mind, if we aren't connectedspiritually, then everything
else is going to cascade and andit's gonna show up differently
for us.
So are you speaking kindly toyourself?
(14:52):
Do you value yourself?
Do you value your brain?
Like I've really been talking tomy daughter lately about like
her brain is like so valuable,so valuable.
All of our brains are, right?
Like, so really, do you reallythink about your brain that way?
Are you what you are reading,what you are watching, podcasts
that you are listening to?
Are you consuming informationthat is helpful to your brain?
(15:17):
What are you doing to your body?
Are you treating it and givingit so much love and support from
a food and uh water and all thethings?
What about your emotions?
Are you processing youremotions?
Or are you just like, oh, Idon't have time for that?
You know, on to the next thing.
Like your emotions are your key.
They are telling you constantly,telling you they're like your
(15:39):
GPS.
So are you paying attention toyour emotions?
And when we change ourself-concept, the behavior
naturally follows, but so manyof us try to change the behavior
first and then think that theself-concept matches catches up,
but that's not how it works.
I I was, I don't know what Iwas, I think it was sure it was
probably YouTube, because that'sabout all I watch.
(16:01):
And they were talking about likeJessica Simpson and releasing
weight or something.
And she said it was like fromwillpower.
And I was like, oh, isn't thatfascinating?
Like that is that is definitelymoving from the 3D versus
changing your self-concept ofsomeone just wanting to be
healthy and releasing weightversus I just had, you know,
willpower to me is like I musterthrough this, right?
(16:23):
Versus changing your beliefsabout yourself and then letting
the behavior, you know, follow.
So think about when you valueyourself, when you know that you
are inherently worthy anddeserving of having an amazing
life, you're gonna makedifferent choices.
You're gonna choose based onwhat fuels you instead of the
(16:46):
people pleasing and the habitsthat you're used to doing
because that is what you're usedto doing.
Like it feels uncomfortable tostart to say no.
So start first with yourself-concept.
Journal that out.
Do you describe yourself?
If I were to ask you, do youtalk about yourself in an
uplifting way or an empoweringway?
(17:08):
Do you believe that you'reconfident, that you're
successful, that you're wealthy,that you're regulated, that your
nervous system is regulated?
Do you feel calm, powerful,empowered?
Like journal on yourself-concept and then journal on
what you want to believe aboutyourself and start believing
that now.
And the thing that I will sayabout this is first and
foremost, it's always awareness.
(17:29):
You've got to get out on paper,you've got to see what you
actually think about yourself.
I think so many times in thespiritual world, we try to
gaslight ourselves or we try tobypass, maybe that's a better
way to say it.
We try to bypass what we thinkabout ourselves.
No, it needs to come up and out.
We need to see what we actuallythink about ourselves.
And then we get to decide how dowe want to think about
ourselves?
(17:50):
And then when we decide, okay, Iwant to change my beliefs and I
want to change my self-concept,then you're gonna have to take
action from that place.
So if you say, okay, I want tobe feeling more confident, well,
then when the time comes to feelmore confident, that might be
making a decision and notdoubting yourself.
It might say saying something tosomeone that you may not have
(18:11):
said before.
You're going to be presentedwith opportunities for you to
show that you're more confident.
And it's in the actual actionthat you fuse the belief because
you have the belief and you alsohave to move from that belief.
So once you look at yourself-concept, and this is
something that I help clientswith.
(18:32):
So if this is something that isof interest to you, reach out.
I can, you know, we can have aconversation and see if we're a
good fit for each other.
Then what you want to do is asksome specific questions on
actually the 3D part, like whatare you actually doing?
Ask, like, does the thing thatI'm about to do, does it
energize me or does it depleteme?
I would I always like to say,like, do a calendar audit, you
(18:56):
know, tracking your your when Isay calendar, I mean what you
have on your calendar and howyou feel, like your energy
across the week, right?
So notice when you're doingspecific tasks, first of all,
are you doing them out ofobligation?
And how do you feel when you dothem?
So protecting those I call themlike the blocks of time that are
(19:21):
life-giving.
Like I talked about that in theprevious episode, like the
life-giving, those are the bigrocks, those are the things that
you need to be putting on yourcalendar first, you know,
learning to say no, feeling thatdiscomfort, because if you are
someone who has people pleasedall their life, which this was
me, then it is gonna feeluncomfortable.
The shame and the doubt or theguilt is gonna come up and it's
(19:43):
coming up to be transcended.
So when you act from the fromthe perspective or the belief
that you are the most importantasset, then all these other
decisions, like how you spendmoney, how you structure your
business, how you show up inyour relationships, how you are
with your friends, how you arewith your children, they're
(20:05):
going to naturally fall intoplace because you're moving
first from a person who valuesthemselves.
You know, there areconversations that I don't
necessarily have anymore withpeople because I value my energy
and I know I'm the number oneasset.
And so is it worth my time tohave a conversation with
(20:27):
somebody who's not ready toreceive a message?
No.
You know, I'm not here toconvince or prove to anybody
anymore.
Like when they're ready, they'reready.
But I'm not here to, you know,to show you all that I know and
to prove that, you know, I canhelp you.
And like some people just arenot ready to receive a message.
So really recognizing where ismy energy most efficient and
(20:50):
most useful and a good, yeah,good use of my time, right?
So you have to really start tothink about where are you, I
would look at it as more of anovergiving, right?
Where are you over giving yourtime?
I have this a lot with clients.
Where are you over givingadvice?
Where are you over giving adviceto people that they aren't
(21:12):
paying you for?
Because that's really importanttoo.
And yes, I believe in, you know,giving and helping people, and
not everybody, you know, likeI'm not saying that everything
needs to be paid for, but if youhave friends that are coming to
you with the same thing over andover again, like I've had family
members this way, there's justno point in having this
(21:34):
conversation for the 257th time.
And so my energy is betterserved somewhere else.
And so you just have to bemindful of where are you
overgiving.
And that can look like money,that can look like time, that
can look like I mean, so manydifferent areas, right?
So just really get clear whereare you doing this?
And the example that I wouldhave you or leave you with is
(21:54):
thinking about your, like I saidbefore and earlier, is like
think about your energy as yourcapital.
Your nervous system is the bank.
So every time you ignore yourneeds, you overcommit, you
overgive, you're basicallywithdrawing right this energy
without depositing it back.
Over time, you're gonna bedepleting, right?
(22:15):
Now, I know I talk a lot aboutmoney as circulating and money's
energy, and we're all energy,but you know, when you think
about if you're just continuingto take, right, deplete, that
energy is going somewhere else.
So really start to honor yourenergy.
When you value yourself, you'rebuilding up this allocation that
(22:37):
allows you to operate from youknow, more calmness, more
clarity, confidence, and ease.
Like it's really about spendingtime on yourself so that you
learn how to first like I alwaystalk about like you can't pour
from an empty cup when youbelieve that you're whole, when
you are when I say fed, I meanlike spiritually and emotionally
(22:59):
and energetically and all of it.
Then you get to show up forother people.
So today, this week, thisweekend, ponder.
Am I protecting the mostimportant asset?
Pick one, you know, really diveinto your self-concept, pick one
action that you're gonna dothat's gonna honor your energy
and let it be about somethingthat you probably would be like
(23:22):
a 180.
What are you, what are you usedto saying yes to that you want
to say no to, or vice versa?
So, where in your life, what isone area of your life, whether
it's business or with your kidsor your spouse or friends or you
know, your community, where isone area that you are used to
over giving that you're ready topull back on some?
And if you want support to thinkdifferently about valuing
(23:45):
yourself more so that you canprotect your energy while
building wealth and impact, youcan reach out to me to schedule
a discovery call.
You can just click the link inthe show notes for us to
connect.
As always, I love you.
I love each of you.
I'm rooting for you.
You are the number one asset.
The world needs more of us thatbelieve that to our core, that
(24:09):
have fully embodied that, thatshow up for ourselves first so
that we can show up for others,so that we can be an example of
what is possible to other womenin the world, to our children.
Like this is generational stuffthat we are transcending and
changing.
So that is all I have for youtoday.
I will see you in the nextepisode.
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