What happens when a seasoned neuro strategist and the son of a Navy veteran shares his insights on the complexities of transitioning from military to civilian life? Join us as we welcome Chuck Hogan to "Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole," where he shares personal stories of growing up in a military family. We navigate the intricate terrain of reintegration, emphasizing the significance of leadership skills, emotional mastery, and maintaining a personal structure post-deployment. Chuck's unique perspective shines a light on the resilience required to embrace newfound freedom while staying true to the values of honor, discipline, and commitment.
Passion and integrity aren't just buzzwords—they're the driving forces that shape our lives. In our conversation, we explore how these elements influence fulfillment and success. Chuck brings a fresh perspective on mindfulness, showing how slowing down and remaining present can prevent regrettable actions during heightened emotions. The warrior mindset isn't merely about confrontation; it can be an advocacy for love, intellect, and compassion. We reflect on the diverse definitions of success and fulfillment, considering how staying grounded and letting go of past pain are crucial for resilience, especially for those in elite military forces.
Finally, we uncover the transformative power of love and frequency, stressing the importance of self-love and the energy we emit. Chuck offers practical advice for veterans and their families, emphasizing patience, self-care, and community engagement. We discuss how dedicating time to meaningful causes can create a positive ripple effect, particularly in supporting veterans. As we close, we express our gratitude for your time and encourage continued inspiration and connection, inviting you to join future episodes to further empower your thoughts and shape your reality with purpose and love.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways of postdeployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
I'm sorry, Chuck, I'm stillgiggling about our conversation.
All right, chuck, today, goodfriend, chuck is a seasoned
neuro strategist with a passionfor helping others navigate
life's challenges andopportunities.
A proud husband and father, hebrings a deeply empathetic and
family-centered approach to allof his work.
(01:09):
Growing up as the son of a30-year Navy veteran, chuck has
profound understanding for thesacrifices and resilience
required in military life.
Of course we're going to getinto that today.
And he's an entrepreneur,empowering individuals and
organizations to unlock theirpotential through emotional
mastery.
And, of course, chuck is one ofthe most grounded people in his
faith.
I know, chuck, welcome to theshow, and if you can just tell
(01:32):
us a little bit more aboutyourself, Thank you, brother.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, I am the proud son of a 30-year naval veteran,
born in Sasbo, japan.
So multicultural Japanese mom,irish father, japan.
So multicultural Japanese mom,irish father.
I can tell you that those daysin the 1960s and 70s and 80s,
growing up in the military, weresome exciting times and also
some very challenging times.
There was a lot of skirmishes,like Vietnam, that my father was
(01:57):
involved with and we were, youknow.
For myself, I'll just say thisSome of my proudest moments are
just remembering seeing my dadin his dress whites.
He's a naval veteran that ishighly esteemed, left the
military as a master chief and,yeah, he had some goals.
He had some goals and served asa security detail for Rear
(02:20):
Admiral and at the end of hiscareer was involved in
recruiting of all things,because he just loves people and
he was so impassioned by whatit meant to serve our country
and to be able to help peoplefind a career, help people find
opportunities, and the militaryjust provides so much of that
stable space and I was raisedwith those tenants of honor,
(02:44):
distinction space.
And I was raised with thosetenets of honor, distinction,
presence and commitment, highstandards.
So it wasn't whether or not youwere making your bet.
You made your bet.
It wasn't whether or not youwere a polite person.
You were always a polite personbecause that was the right
thing to do and the person youdesired to be.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
That's fantastic and you know a lot of the veterans
during the reintegration andcivilian life or transition
period.
They really forget you know theamazing leadership skills, the
discipline, those things youknow and I think it's really
important to kind of lean backinto that and really realize the
(03:21):
blessings that you know, youwere conditioned or trained to
have in your life.
So I'm glad you brought that up, chuck.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
My father made it a point and my mother supported
this 110%.
She's a teacher in Japan, andso let's just say discipline
wasn't lacking in the Hoganhousehold.
It's like have you done yourhomework, have you done your
chores?
Are you living your best life?
And and the truth was, that'swhere this whole premise of
living a fruitful, full lifecame from was you know?
(03:53):
Yeah, susan, I love you.
Non-negotiables are highstandards, not, not, um, not
making excuses and negotiatingwith self.
That is something that my, myparents were so adamant about.
They said we were just here atan event with a very dear friend
, bo East, and he said there'sno plan B for your A game,
(04:14):
there's no plan B.
And we oftentimes will say thisand I've heard this so many
times from friends of mine whoare ex-military and
reintegrating.
They wish that someone wouldteach them how to time block.
Because when someone else iskeeping your schedule relative
to when the mess hall is open,when the commissary is open,
(04:35):
when the exchange is open, whereyou're supposed to be, what
post, what detail you'resupposed to be on, what sort of
you're on, I go, wow, this isgreat because you get to flavor
your life with your schedule nowand it's really simple to be
able to help create thatstructure.
So now you don't feel lost inthe cacophony of opportunity.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's fantastic.
I love that you brought that upbecause you know there's that.
That's the I call it thehoneymoon phase, right?
Yeah, the military two, threeweeks, whatever.
It is just celebrations andcatching up and I love yous and
it's all fantastic.
And then you know, life belifin' right, bless Brown.
So all of a sudden life startskicking in and if you don't have
(05:17):
that plan, you don't have thatstructure, things start to fall
apart really quickly.
So, really, really cool youbrought that up, chuck.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
No, it's a pleasure, michael, and oftentimes people
are going well, how do I evencreate a structure?
It's really simple, in fact,it's uber simple.
Ask yourself this very simplequestion and you can ask it the
day before.
So now you're being deliberate.
You don't go oh, what's mydetail?
Tomorrow?
You're like no, my detail iswhat I created to be.
(05:47):
So if you ask yourself, how do Ineed to feel most often today,
tomorrow, a day from now, a weekfrom now, a month from now,
you're going to start to findthat there's commonality.
I need to feel valuable.
Here's the ticket.
Though Ready, you need to beauthentic, you need to act.
You know, really be truthfulwith yourself, because if you
(06:07):
start negotiating with yourselfand go, I'll get to it tomorrow,
I'll get to it a week from now,when I'm ready.
I'm like you know when you'llbe ready.
Never, never, come up with amental answer in your brain,
because your mindset is based onyour heart set.
So when you start to understandthat you feeling whole, full,
(06:32):
contributory, valuable,necessary, centered, guided love
, connected, now, all of asudden, you're like oh, but I
have to be doing certain thingsright, I go.
No, you need to be being loving, kind, courageous, because
that's going to attract all thethings in your universe that
(06:52):
give you the abilities that nowhave possibilities as business
owners.
You know people go.
I'm not an entrepreneur, youdon't need to be.
I'm going to make this reallyreally, really simple.
Okay, if you're a consumer, ifyou're in services and
provisions of products, whateveryou're If you consume products,
then just know that this isimportant and my apologies, I
(07:15):
don't know why people are tryingto Zoom me while I'm in a
meeting.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Because you're still in Mexico, chuck, oops.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
No, it's just that I planned this trip.
It was in my account, no, sothe deal is this time block
everything.
In fact, you're, you all outthere are probably going to say
this guy is absolutely bananas,and my wife would agree.
I'm a little off.
Here's the difference, though.
I know it's important, I knowit's important to me.
I know it's important to me, Iknow it's important to my family
, I know it's important to thosethat I love the most.
I don't presuppose.
I clarify and verify.
I'm in rapport.
(07:54):
I make sure, because I have aseven PhD in screwing up.
I'm really good at it, y'all.
And here's the deal.
Okay, you ready.
(08:15):
It's really simple.
Schedule your celebration.
You'll schedule a proctologicalexam.
You'll schedule a dentalfilling.
You'll schedule an oil change.
You'll schedule a haircut.
You won't, freaking, schedule acelebration for yourself.
And I can't, for the life of me, understand why.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Because at some point .
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Please, michael, no, please, please, go ahead.
Well, no, because at some pointin time, you're going to be
filled with a bunch of doingsand you're a human being, not a
human doing so.
If you never fill up your cupwhere you be grateful, you be
full, you be connected, you'reconstantly going to be chasing
your own dream of what might beand not what is Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
And I want to add, chuck, if I can.
You know we get to do thesethings.
If we change the I should, Ineed to, I and the worst one I
have to to I get to.
It feels so differently.
You know, you look in mycalendar and you see my wife and
I date night every other Fridayscheduled.
Yeah, you see things scheduled.
(09:25):
And I just want to say one morething to that is when you get
to do something, what should youdo?
You should celebrate the heckout of it.
And I mean seriously, take yourass, get your good hormones
going, smile, literally, patyourself on the back People hear
me say it all the time.
If we don't have these littlemini celebrations, I'm very big
(09:47):
on stacking right the goodemotions over all the negative
ones.
Right, oh man, I've got to godo this, I've got to go do that.
Well, if you get to go do thesethings, you automatically are
de-stacking some of thosenegative things and it feels so
much better.
Negative things and it feels somuch better.
And number two is when you havethe positive things that you
(10:08):
just think about and visualizeand are excited about, it
automatically takes those down.
So what happens then?
You don't have the negativestacking.
Negative stacking Exactly andmitigates it, and it's simple
you got to let go of it.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
You got to let go of it.
Think of it like this have youever seen, um, where they put
someone in like the money boothand they just like turn on the
blower and these people are justlike grabbing, grabbing,
grabbing, grabbing, grabbing.
Well, you know what the funnypart is?
The ones that actually win themost money grab the money and
stuff it in their pants, stuffit in their shirt, and there's a
(10:44):
reason for it.
They understand that there's astrategy, that you need to own
it before you have it.
Now, what's the difference?
They go.
But Michael was just sayingabout letting go.
Yes, it's the same thing.
If you are hoarding negativeemotions, if you are hoarding
memories that are haunting you,it is absolutely imperative that
(11:05):
there's forgiveness, becauseit's not intentional.
The experience is not thememory, it's the emotion that
had been imprinted, that weactually associated to the
situation, that have createdthat modality which creates a
(11:26):
trigger.
And so, if you find yourselfbecause Michael said something
that's beautiful and brilliantand, yes, celebrate, celebrate.
How you celebrate is important,and there's three things that
are important to remember it'shealthy, healthy, it's happy and
it's sustainable.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Okay.
Because if you're like going,hey, I'm celebrating, okay, and
you're like, well, I celebrate alot during the course of a day
and I'm like, okay, is thatsustainable?
Is it healthy for you?
Because here's the dealDopamine and oxytocin and the
(12:06):
chemical receptors that areactivated and the hormones that
are released when you are in acelebratory state, creates
euphoria, and it's higher thanany amount of alcohol.
It's higher than any stimulantcould ever create for you and it
allows you to be you.
So you're the one incelebration.
(12:27):
It's not something externalfrom you that you need in order
to facilitate the celebration.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Amen, I love that you said that, chuck.
And can I just add when you'recelebrating, how's that
celebration feel the next day?
All of a sudden, you turned itinto a negative.
That's not the way to celebratemy friends, you know what?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
There's one aspect to celebration which is the
keystone or the cornerstone toit there's no judgment.
When you celebrate, you justcelebrate.
There's no celebrate, they go.
But Chuck, you just said Ididn't say you were celebrating
wrong.
There's no celebration, they go.
But Chuck, you just said Ididn't say you were celebrating
wrong.
I'm not judging you.
What I'm asking you is for youroutcomes and goals.
See, because here's the deal Inthe military, they tell you
(13:16):
your outcomes and goals.
I can't hear you.
Here's the cadence, here's thewalk, here's the exercise we're
doing.
It's not nose Be here at thistime.
You do this and I'm like youknow what Great.
In that conditioning, we startto find some structure and
discipline.
So what they are doing is ismaking sure that there's
compliance.
(13:37):
So that way, in the event thatsomething happens, when the
order is given, you respond inkind when the order is given you
respond in kind Fair.
Here's the difference when yourpossibilities are limited to the
(13:57):
scope of someone else's frame,this is where you live Within
their rules when you're out ofthe military.
Now, our conditioning requiresus to create a new set of
framework that allows us topropagate and thrive.
When you ask yourself how youneed to feel most often your
wife, your children and I'mgoing to be very specific with
(14:18):
this, michael this is an uberclear distinction that is so
imperative.
Clarify and verify and get anagreement frame.
So here's what I mean by this,because communication is the
cornerstone to all of this, allof this, most notably with
yourself.
So when you say I'm a failure,is that really true?
The answer is no, unequivocallyno.
(14:43):
Are you challenged?
Absolutely, in fact, 99.9% ofthe time, whatever you put your
mind to, you will not meet thatexpectation.
What allows you to stay ontrack and stay in that drive and
that strive?
not survive is here.
There's heart space.
(15:04):
We have been fed to from thetime we were children that you
could do anything that you putyour mind to.
Whatever the mind can conceive,the body can achieve.
And I go.
I know a lot of people thathave been dreaming about
cheeseburgers, because theirbody's built for comfort, not
for speed.
And so here's the deal Do notnegotiate with yourself when it
(15:25):
comes to the needs that you have.
That you know.
Fulfill you.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I'm going to say it again.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Do not negotiate with yourself, because that is a
mental exercise.
You will never win, ever.
Yeah, absolutely, you can dowhatever you put your heart to.
This will override everythingelse.
It will give you theperseverance, the drive, the
strive.
This is where adrenaline.
(15:53):
When something happened on thefield, when something happened
on the playground, whensomething happened at home, and
you're like I'm so charged, whatshould I do?
What should I do Michael, whatdo I do, chuck?
I said slow down, breathe,breathe, because you're in an
altered state right now and inthat reaction, you may say
something, do something, besomeone that you are not proud
(16:16):
of.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I absolutely love that you say that and you know
what that passion can be abeautiful thing or destructive
it really can.
What you're feeling in thatheart and that passion gets you
up early, keeps you up late.
It can be a good or a bad thing.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Slow down, yeah, and I love that you said that
there's this aspect to this too.
People who are elite specialforces, whatever the case might
be, whatever specialty you have,please keep in mind that your
loved ones have not had therepetition and the training that
(16:57):
you have had.
And so when we know what weknow and we have an expectation
of others to know what wealready know, without the
training, without the time,without the caring, without the
ability, I'm going to be veryblunt for a moment.
We're not all wired the same,but I'm a warrior and I said yes
(17:19):
, and you could be a warrior forlove.
You can be a warrior forintellect, you could be a
warrior for compassion.
You do not have to be a warriorfor intellect.
You to be a warrior forcompassion, you do not have to
be a destructive warrior.
From my japanese background, weused to always talk about
bushido, the warrior way, theway of the warrior.
And the truth is, you canchoose to create and fill and
use that compassion, thatpassion, that drive, that strive
(17:42):
to support and build, not totear down love, love that man.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, so you know, in so many people it's really
again what, what your, what yourintegrity is, your integrity
for what you want right and whatyou want to do, because I think
it's, please no please, no, no,no, please continue, because I
think I'm having thoughts asyou're saying, that I'm like oh
yeah, this is good.
So it's really so important fora life of fulfillment, or?
(18:14):
You know what success means toyou, if you will, because it
means something different toeverybody.
So if you can figure that outand have that passion and I know
Chuck's going to dive in herehow much further, how much
fulfilled can your life be?
Because everybody has adifferent idea of success, right
?
One person is I pay my bills.
One person is I'm president,you know.
(18:36):
One person is I help everysingle person I can and bring up
their day or lighten their dayand make them happier in the
moment, so that they can go onand create a ripple effect and
make other people's liveshappier.
Success means somethingdifferent to everybody.
So I think it's so important,especially with what you said.
What's that fulfillment inmoving forward with it.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah, if someone were to say hey, michael, I'm going
to give you a million dollarsand for the next month you are
going to be miserable.
You know, oh, for a milliondollars and for the next month
you are going to be miserable.
You know, oh for a milliondollars I could be miserable.
I go hey, I'm going to give you$5 million and for the rest of
your life you will suffer everysingle day.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No way.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And people like oh wait, what?
Now?
You can go wherever you want togo, you can do whatever you
want, but we're going to makesure that you're suffering.
So you're going to havefibromyalgia, you're going to
have some form of stressorwithin your body.
Because see, here's thedismissive part People believe
that striving and pushing anddriving is happiness and I go.
(19:40):
No, that's achievement.
That's been an externalresource that someone gave to
you as their goal and outcome,because they had to measure and
they can't measure what's notmoving.
So, when you remove all thefluff and stuff, when you remove
all the lapel of all theribbons and all the accolades
(20:02):
and the uniform because I'mgoing to make a bold statement
and I'm going to apologize aheadof time the military is a
beautiful institution.
The challenge is that you donot build character by tearing
people down.
And I can tell you there's adifferent way, because those
(20:25):
that are the elite, those thatget pushed beyond their comfort
zone, they find a way to flowthrough it, not just grind
through it.
Because here's the challengeyou may not pay the price at the
time that you're going throughthat training.
It will be taken off on theback end of your life, when you
are in a sympathetic state.
(20:45):
That means fully activatedspecial elite unit, special
forces, navy SEALs, special ops,whatever the case might be, I
said you are on full tilt.
Using every single ounce ofyour cognitive and unconscious
ability, you will distort,delete and generalize
information constantly.
(21:07):
And be fully on tilt.
Why?
Because you have to be.
That's what you've trained tobe.
You've been trained to be akiller.
You've been trained to be thatidentity and they've done
psychic battles they look at.
That's why some people wash out, because the psych studies but
here's what I'm going to sharewith you those that stay in and
make it through and live thelongest have one character trait
(21:31):
, michael, what do you thinkthat might be?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
uh, it could be a lot uh, finding passion, finding a
fulfillment, finding somethingto sustain, yeah and yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
They have an uncanny ability to remember how to
forget.
Oh Yep, there we go.
Most people find the pain fromtheir past, yeah.
They find fear, yeah, becauseit's the unknown, yeah, all of
the connections in the moment,and so what they are brilliant
at is being present.
Mm-hmm, when you meet thesefolks, you know exactly who
(22:06):
you're speaking to, because theyare like right here.
Right here, there's nodivergent thinking, there's no,
you know, fluttering eyemovement.
They're like right here,they're like hanging on your
every breath and it's like, wow,feel that presence Cause please
remember these words Peoplemeet your energy before they
(22:27):
meet you.
Love that and it's so true, itis true, your state, your
breathing, your being, yourenergy, your frequency.
Because there's a lot of folksthat when they get out of
service, they fake it till theymake it, and then they get to
the next phase, which they fakeit till they make it.
And then they get to the nextphase, which is they face it as
(22:48):
they make it oh, I'm gettingsome vocational training, I'm
getting through some stuff andthen they get to this point
where they faith it as they makeit, like, hey, I'm making some
progress, this is good, I'mactually starting to enjoy this
stuff.
This is cooler than I thoughtit would be.
Then you get to this level.
You start to believe as youachieve.
And in that belief system nowyou can skip steps, by the way,
(23:14):
you can.
You can literally go fromfaking it till you make it to
believe as you achieve.
Because when you are connectedto the emotions at a deep level,
you're like, hey, I might notbe the best computer programmer,
but I care what we're workingon and I'm so impassioned that
I'm learning at a curve.
That is like going to thestratosphere.
(23:35):
Instead of oh, I have a story,I'm negotiating with myself.
Well, they said it's going totake six months.
I'm going to take the whole sixmonths.
Wait what?
Wow, where did that lowstandard come from?
Oh well, chuck, I listened toyou and Michael and I'm being
patient with myself.
I said no, you're placatingyourself.
There's a difference.
That level of procrastinationcomes from discomfort.
(23:57):
It comes from this 10million-year-old monkey brain
that's trying to protect you.
And there's no adversary behindthe rock.
There's no sniper up on themesa, there's no IED on the
ground.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
It's really amazing how, when people see what they
want and see it as already done,how the answers just come, the
confidence just comes.
But, chuck, I'm going to behonest.
All right, we're on episode 98with you right Of this podcast.
(24:43):
When I first started, I had noclue.
I talked to some people Ialways do that to the people
that I respect and to gaininformation.
I've done that since I was, youknow, young, and so when you,
but when you make it to, you,make it whatever you want to do,
when you see it is already doneyes you literally have that
confidence.
You literally have that faith,yes, and which is so important
(25:07):
to accomplish anything.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
I a hundred percent agree with it.
In fact, I'll take it a stepfurther.
It's exactly what you said,which is you need to be able to,
and it's not just aboutdreaming.
Let's be very clear.
Okay, I'm going to be a littlebit, I'm going to be crass for a
a moment.
I hope you will all bear withme.
Not rude, but crass, feel free.
(25:31):
There are so many people thatcome up with outcomes and goals
and they're not theirs.
It's not even theirs.
They're like when I have thismuch money, I'll be happy, and
I'm like, no, you won't.
When I have, when I have thismuch time, when I have this car,
when I have this house, when Ihave this gal, when I have this
(25:52):
dog, when I have these kids, andI'm like, go ahead, no, because
you cannot outrun you.
When you are uncomfortable withyou, you can't fly fast enough,
drive fast enough, escapevelocity.
You are stuck with you, andit's a blessing because none of
(26:13):
us is broken.
So if you're seeing a therapist, a counselor, whomever the case
might be, you'll know they'rethe right ones when you start to
understand more about you andhow you're feeling about self.
If you are still stuck in thesame story and after five or six
months, you're still talkingabout the same story over and
over and over and over again.
(26:34):
Get out, because it's likebeing in a house of mirrors.
You will continue to walkaround looking for something
different and not finding it,because when you are, the
reference point comes back toyou.
So I'm going to actuallychallenge you to consider
(26:57):
something slightly different.
What would it take for you toforgive you, to just let go of
that?
Whatever it is, it doesn'tdissolve it, it doesn't say it
never happened.
It's just that it does not ruleyour life now, because if
(27:18):
anxiety or tension orprocrastination is your moniker,
that's your fuel of choice,that's because you are hanging
on by your fingernails tosomething from your past.
When you let go of that pain,it's going to be like having an
emotional enema, and there'sways to do this where you can
(27:41):
actually feel full and free andlight and you're like oh wow, my
eyes are actually green and notthis putrid brown that has been
building on my body Not judginganyone that has brown eyes, by
the way.
I'm just saying at some point intime, we need to understand
that you can give yourselffreedom.
The difference is is where thatfreedom is going to come from
(28:06):
and what's necessary in orderfor you to feel full.
Because here's the deal Ready.
You can't give away what youdon't own.
It's impossible.
I can't give you air if I haveno air.
I can't give you hydration if Ihave no water.
I can't give you love.
(28:27):
I can assimilate love, I canfake love.
I can't give you genuine loveif I'm not loving me.
We us everyone.
They go what I got to loveeveryone.
So, michael, I'm going to askthe question question can you
(28:47):
love someone but not like themvery much, I believe so I know.
So, man, I love everybody.
There's some people I'm notexactly in adoration of and
people go.
Oh what?
You have a difference ingeopolitical conversation?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(29:07):
I love everybody.
I don't wish anyone ill will.
I don't wish anyone pain orsuffering, none of it.
They go oh, not even thosepeople that hurt kids or are
mean people.
And I go listen, I don't tohang out with those people.
(29:28):
Their frequency, their energyis not my frequency and energy.
If I was in their presence Imight do something very foolish,
because I can't stand whenpeople are bullies Like I have.
A huge.
One of my trigger points isbullying and I won't stand for
it in any way, shape or formverbal, emotional, spiritual,
(29:49):
intellectual.
I see people who are sointellectual and they try to
bulldoze people in Bethlehemwith BS.
It's not just belief systems,it's also cow manure.
Just letting you all know.
I told you I'm going to keep itreal why this is so important.
Know your tribe, know thepeople that you need in your
(30:12):
life to fill up, to feel full,and they go.
But, chuck, you said yes, sohere's the deal.
I'm going to surmise everythingthat Michael and I talk about
in one statement.
Your relationship with anyonestarts with you.
The only reason why you cancall it a fruitful relationship
is because you feel full, youfeel connected, you feel
(30:35):
energetic, you feel like more ofyourself when you're in the
presence of this person.
And it has nothing to do withthe other person.
It has to do with how you feelabout yourself.
So if you are feelingdisgruntled and you don't feel
connected, please understandthis one simple thing You're
struggling with loving yourself,appreciating yourself, honoring
(30:56):
yourself.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I love that you say that.
First of all, you just droppedso many gold nuggets I don't
even know where to start andwe're already over time.
My brother, time, my brother,no, no, no, we own the place.
It's fine.
It's fine and I know, I knowyou need to go, um, you know it,
you know I, I teach my clientsand I do it myself and I do
teach my clients because I'veseen the results of you know you
don't have to to love whatsomebody does, their actions,
(31:23):
those kinds of things.
But as a human being, when youcan look at somebody's absolute
strangers and again I do thisand and put intent of I love you
, just as a human being here onearth, with us battling with
things, just like, just likeeverybody does every day, to
some extent it changes yourfrequency, it gives you more
(31:45):
energy and people feel it.
I've been through Walmart,chuck, having the most amazing
conversations with strangers,and it happens all the time.
And when you can draw in goodother people, I mean, chuck,
we're friends for a reason,right, it changes your world
because again, it starts withyour love.
(32:08):
First for yourself, you've gotto put on the option mask before
you put it on for someone else.
They tell you that for a reasonand then, when you can create
that with intent, love otherpeople.
It brings the right people toyou.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
I believe that 100%.
Brother very well stated If youlike classic rock, 89.9, hit the
channel, it's right there.
However, if you put in 89.9, 89, or 90.1, you're just a couple
(32:48):
of frequency modulations off.
All of a sudden it might be,you know, like oh, wait, wait a
second, why am I hearingmariachi music?
I thought I would that well,and I happen to be in mexico, so
it's all good.
But for you all, understand thefrequency that you modulate at,
so that you actually attractother people who like classic
(33:11):
rock.
Think about that for a second.
It's so simple.
You do not have to.
And if you're like, oh, but ifI want to listen to someone
else's station, I go, then fine,as long as you fill up from it.
This is how you find newcommunities of people Like, oh,
(33:32):
I'm going to join a church, I go, which one?
What's the frequency, what'sthe modulation, what's the
conversation like, how's thecongregation?
What kind of communities areyou in?
See, I'm not a huge proponentof masterminds, I'm a huge
proponent of communities.
Why?
Because they're heart-centric,not just head-centric.
(33:53):
Like-minded you only get you sofar.
Like-hearted, take you to themoon and back.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Amen, amen.
Chuck, absolutely love that,and we are so far beyond now.
All right, buddy, hey.
So, chuck, how do people reachout to you?
Speaker 3 (34:10):
my friend, it's real simple.
Come check us out at YBL nowdot com.
Or if you have a question andyou really just want to start a
dialogue, just email me, chuck,ybl now dot com, and it's really
, really, really simple.
Live your best life.
You know, michael, I love you.
Thank you for having thisplatform and allowing me to be a
(34:31):
guest on your show today.
This is important informationand happy to oblige you Anything
you need, my man.
Much love to you and Susan.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Absolutely.
Thank you, man, and you knowthe YBL community is an amazing
community.
It's an amazing tribe.
Anybody that's interested,reach out.
Obviously, chuck, if we can andwe're going to have you back on
.
Obviously, come on now If youcan give us three tips to get
veterans and their familiesfurther faster.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Yes.
One slow down.
Speed kills.
Speed kills indiscriminately.
Two be patient with yourself.
Be patient with yourself.
Three self-care is not selfish,it's a necessity.
Make sure you're getting inyour reps, if it's, and I'm
(35:20):
going to make it real simplebody, mind, spirit.
30 minutes each one of thosecategories each day.
Feed yourself healthyinformation, healthy energy,
healthy time and healthy food.
Move your body deliberately.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Absolutely love it, chuck.
Time is the most preciousresource we have as human beings
.
My friend, you don't get itback.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time out of your life to
help create a ripple effect andjust to be there for the
veterans and their families aswell, as you always are our
family, so really appreciatethat.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
It's a pleasure, my brother.
Much love to you and yours.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Thank you All.
Right, everybody, we're out ofhere.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Thank you for joining us on another insightful
journey of your Thoughts yourReality podcast with your host,
michael Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you.
To dive deeper into empoweringyour thoughts and enhancing your
reality, visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
(36:22):
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with
Michael Cole, the podcast thatshines a compassionate light on
the journey of veterans battlingthrough life's challenges.
Michael is a dual elitecertified neuro encoding
specialist in coaching andkeynote training presentations
dedicated to guiding militaryveterans as they navigate the
intricate pathways of postdeployment life.
(00:23):
Join him as we delve into theprofound realm of neuroencoding
science, empowering these braveindividuals to conquer universal
battles procrastination,self-doubt, fear and more.
Together, let's uncover thestrength within you to re-engage
with families and society,forging a new path forward.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Hello, hello, hello everybody.
I'm sorry, Chuck, I'm stillgiggling about our conversation.
All right, chuck, today, goodfriend, chuck is a seasoned
neuro strategist with a passionfor helping others navigate
life's challenges andopportunities.
A proud husband and father, hebrings a deeply empathetic and
family-centered approach to allof his work.
(01:09):
Growing up as the son of a30-year Navy veteran, chuck has
profound understanding for thesacrifices and resilience
required in military life.
Of course we're going to getinto that today.
And he's an entrepreneur,empowering individuals and
organizations to unlock theirpotential through emotional
mastery.
And, of course, chuck is one ofthe most grounded people in his
faith.
I know, chuck, welcome to theshow, and if you can just tell
(01:32):
us a little bit more aboutyourself, Thank you, brother.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, I am the proud son of a 30-year naval veteran,
born in Sasbo, japan.
So multicultural Japanese mom,irish father, japan.
So multicultural Japanese mom,irish father.
I can tell you that those daysin the 1960s and 70s and 80s,
growing up in the military, weresome exciting times and also
some very challenging times.
There was a lot of skirmishes,like Vietnam, that my father was
(01:57):
involved with and we were, youknow.
For myself, I'll just say thisSome of my proudest moments are
just remembering seeing my dadin his dress whites.
He's a naval veteran that ishighly esteemed, left the
military as a master chief and,yeah, he had some goals.
He had some goals and served asa security detail for Rear
(02:20):
Admiral and at the end of hiscareer was involved in
recruiting of all things,because he just loves people and
he was so impassioned by whatit meant to serve our country
and to be able to help peoplefind a career, help people find
opportunities, and the militaryjust provides so much of that
stable space and I was raisedwith those tenants of honor,
(02:44):
distinction space.
And I was raised with thosetenets of honor, distinction,
presence and commitment, highstandards.
So it wasn't whether or not youwere making your bet.
You made your bet.
It wasn't whether or not youwere a polite person.
You were always a polite personbecause that was the right
thing to do and the person youdesired to be.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
That's fantastic and you know a lot of the veterans
during the reintegration andcivilian life or transition
period.
They really forget you know theamazing leadership skills, the
discipline, those things youknow and I think it's really
important to kind of lean backinto that and really realize the
(03:21):
blessings that you know, youwere conditioned or trained to
have in your life.
So I'm glad you brought that up, chuck.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
My father made it a point and my mother supported
this 110%.
She's a teacher in Japan, andso let's just say discipline
wasn't lacking in the Hoganhousehold.
It's like have you done yourhomework, have you done your
chores?
Are you living your best life?
And and the truth was, that'swhere this whole premise of
living a fruitful, full lifecame from was you know?
(03:53):
Yeah, susan, I love you.
Non-negotiables are highstandards, not, not, um, not
making excuses and negotiatingwith self.
That is something that my, myparents were so adamant about.
They said we were just here atan event with a very dear friend
, bo East, and he said there'sno plan B for your A game,
(04:14):
there's no plan B.
And we oftentimes will say thisand I've heard this so many
times from friends of mine whoare ex-military and
reintegrating.
They wish that someone wouldteach them how to time block.
Because when someone else iskeeping your schedule relative
to when the mess hall is open,when the commissary is open,
(04:35):
when the exchange is open, whereyou're supposed to be, what
post, what detail you'resupposed to be on, what sort of
you're on, I go, wow, this isgreat because you get to flavor
your life with your schedule nowand it's really simple to be
able to help create thatstructure.
So now you don't feel lost inthe cacophony of opportunity.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's fantastic.
I love that you brought that upbecause you know there's that.
That's the I call it thehoneymoon phase, right?
Yeah, the military two, threeweeks, whatever.
It is just celebrations andcatching up and I love yous and
it's all fantastic.
And then you know, life belifin' right, bless Brown.
So all of a sudden life startskicking in and if you don't have
(05:17):
that plan, you don't have thatstructure, things start to fall
apart really quickly.
So, really, really cool youbrought that up, chuck.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
No, it's a pleasure, michael, and oftentimes people
are going well, how do I evencreate a structure?
It's really simple, in fact,it's uber simple.
Ask yourself this very simplequestion and you can ask it the
day before.
So now you're being deliberate.
You don't go oh, what's mydetail?
Tomorrow?
You're like no, my detail iswhat I created to be.
(05:47):
So if you ask yourself, how do Ineed to feel most often today,
tomorrow, a day from now, a weekfrom now, a month from now,
you're going to start to findthat there's commonality.
I need to feel valuable.
Here's the ticket.
Though Ready, you need to beauthentic, you need to act.
You know, really be truthfulwith yourself, because if you
(06:07):
start negotiating with yourselfand go, I'll get to it tomorrow,
I'll get to it a week from now,when I'm ready.
I'm like you know when you'llbe ready.
Never, never, come up with amental answer in your brain,
because your mindset is based onyour heart set.
So when you start to understandthat you feeling whole, full,
(06:32):
contributory, valuable,necessary, centered, guided love
, connected, now, all of asudden, you're like oh, but I
have to be doing certain thingsright, I go.
No, you need to be being loving, kind, courageous, because
that's going to attract all thethings in your universe that
(06:52):
give you the abilities that nowhave possibilities as business
owners.
You know people go.
I'm not an entrepreneur, youdon't need to be.
I'm going to make this reallyreally, really simple.
Okay, if you're a consumer, ifyou're in services and
provisions of products, whateveryou're If you consume products,
then just know that this isimportant and my apologies, I
(07:15):
don't know why people are tryingto Zoom me while I'm in a
meeting.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Because you're still in Mexico, chuck, oops.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
No, it's just that I planned this trip.
It was in my account, no, sothe deal is this time block
everything.
In fact, you're, you all outthere are probably going to say
this guy is absolutely bananas,and my wife would agree.
I'm a little off.
Here's the difference, though.
I know it's important, I knowit's important to me.
I know it's important to me, Iknow it's important to my family
, I know it's important to thosethat I love the most.
I don't presuppose.
I clarify and verify.
I'm in rapport.
(07:54):
I make sure, because I have aseven PhD in screwing up.
I'm really good at it, y'all.
And here's the deal.
Okay, you ready.
(08:15):
It's really simple.
Schedule your celebration.
You'll schedule a proctologicalexam.
You'll schedule a dentalfilling.
You'll schedule an oil change.
You'll schedule a haircut.
You won't, freaking, schedule acelebration for yourself.
And I can't, for the life of me, understand why.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Because at some point .
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Please, michael, no, please, please, go ahead.
Well, no, because at some pointin time, you're going to be
filled with a bunch of doingsand you're a human being, not a
human doing so.
If you never fill up your cupwhere you be grateful, you be
full, you be connected, you'reconstantly going to be chasing
your own dream of what might beand not what is Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
And I want to add, chuck, if I can.
You know we get to do thesethings.
If we change the I should, Ineed to, I and the worst one I
have to to I get to.
It feels so differently.
You know, you look in mycalendar and you see my wife and
I date night every other Fridayscheduled.
Yeah, you see things scheduled.
(09:25):
And I just want to say one morething to that is when you get
to do something, what should youdo?
You should celebrate the heckout of it.
And I mean seriously, take yourass, get your good hormones
going, smile, literally, patyourself on the back People hear
me say it all the time.
If we don't have these littlemini celebrations, I'm very big
(09:47):
on stacking right the goodemotions over all the negative
ones.
Right, oh man, I've got to godo this, I've got to go do that.
Well, if you get to go do thesethings, you automatically are
de-stacking some of thosenegative things and it feels so
much better.
Negative things and it feels somuch better.
And number two is when you havethe positive things that you
(10:08):
just think about and visualizeand are excited about, it
automatically takes those down.
So what happens then?
You don't have the negativestacking.
Negative stacking Exactly andmitigates it, and it's simple
you got to let go of it.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
You got to let go of it.
Think of it like this have youever seen, um, where they put
someone in like the money boothand they just like turn on the
blower and these people are justlike grabbing, grabbing,
grabbing, grabbing, grabbing.
Well, you know what the funnypart is?
The ones that actually win themost money grab the money and
stuff it in their pants, stuffit in their shirt, and there's a
(10:44):
reason for it.
They understand that there's astrategy, that you need to own
it before you have it.
Now, what's the difference?
They go.
But Michael was just sayingabout letting go.
Yes, it's the same thing.
If you are hoarding negativeemotions, if you are hoarding
memories that are haunting you,it is absolutely imperative that
(11:05):
there's forgiveness, becauseit's not intentional.
The experience is not thememory, it's the emotion that
had been imprinted, that weactually associated to the
situation, that have createdthat modality which creates a
(11:26):
trigger.
And so, if you find yourselfbecause Michael said something
that's beautiful and brilliantand, yes, celebrate, celebrate.
How you celebrate is important,and there's three things that
are important to remember it'shealthy, healthy, it's happy and
it's sustainable.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Amen.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Okay.
Because if you're like going,hey, I'm celebrating, okay, and
you're like, well, I celebrate alot during the course of a day
and I'm like, okay, is thatsustainable?
Is it healthy for you?
Because here's the dealDopamine and oxytocin and the
(12:06):
chemical receptors that areactivated and the hormones that
are released when you are in acelebratory state, creates
euphoria, and it's higher thanany amount of alcohol.
It's higher than any stimulantcould ever create for you and it
allows you to be you.
So you're the one incelebration.
(12:27):
It's not something externalfrom you that you need in order
to facilitate the celebration.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Amen, I love that you said that, chuck.
And can I just add when you'recelebrating, how's that
celebration feel the next day?
All of a sudden, you turned itinto a negative.
That's not the way to celebratemy friends, you know what?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
There's one aspect to celebration which is the
keystone or the cornerstone toit there's no judgment.
When you celebrate, you justcelebrate.
There's no celebrate, they go.
But Chuck, you just said Ididn't say you were celebrating
wrong.
There's no celebration, they go.
But Chuck, you just said Ididn't say you were celebrating
wrong.
I'm not judging you.
What I'm asking you is for youroutcomes and goals.
See, because here's the deal Inthe military, they tell you
(13:16):
your outcomes and goals.
I can't hear you.
Here's the cadence, here's thewalk, here's the exercise we're
doing.
It's not nose Be here at thistime.
You do this and I'm like youknow what Great.
In that conditioning, we startto find some structure and
discipline.
So what they are doing is ismaking sure that there's
compliance.
(13:37):
So that way, in the event thatsomething happens, when the
order is given, you respond inkind when the order is given you
respond in kind Fair.
Here's the difference when yourpossibilities are limited to the
(13:57):
scope of someone else's frame,this is where you live Within
their rules when you're out ofthe military.
Now, our conditioning requiresus to create a new set of
framework that allows us topropagate and thrive.
When you ask yourself how youneed to feel most often your
wife, your children and I'mgoing to be very specific with
(14:18):
this, michael this is an uberclear distinction that is so
imperative.
Clarify and verify and get anagreement frame.
So here's what I mean by this,because communication is the
cornerstone to all of this, allof this, most notably with
yourself.
So when you say I'm a failure,is that really true?
The answer is no, unequivocallyno.
(14:43):
Are you challenged?
Absolutely, in fact, 99.9% ofthe time, whatever you put your
mind to, you will not meet thatexpectation.
What allows you to stay ontrack and stay in that drive and
that strive?
not survive is here.
There's heart space.
(15:04):
We have been fed to from thetime we were children that you
could do anything that you putyour mind to.
Whatever the mind can conceive,the body can achieve.
And I go.
I know a lot of people thathave been dreaming about
cheeseburgers, because theirbody's built for comfort, not
for speed.
And so here's the deal Do notnegotiate with yourself when it
(15:25):
comes to the needs that you have.
That you know.
Fulfill you.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I'm going to say it again.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Do not negotiate with yourself, because that is a
mental exercise.
You will never win, ever.
Yeah, absolutely, you can dowhatever you put your heart to.
This will override everythingelse.
It will give you theperseverance, the drive, the
strive.
This is where adrenaline.
(15:53):
When something happened on thefield, when something happened
on the playground, whensomething happened at home, and
you're like I'm so charged, whatshould I do?
What should I do Michael, whatdo I do, chuck?
I said slow down, breathe,breathe, because you're in an
altered state right now and inthat reaction, you may say
something, do something, besomeone that you are not proud
(16:16):
of.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I absolutely love that you say that and you know
what that passion can be abeautiful thing or destructive
it really can.
What you're feeling in thatheart and that passion gets you
up early, keeps you up late.
It can be a good or a bad thing.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Slow down, yeah, and I love that you said that
there's this aspect to this too.
People who are elite specialforces, whatever the case might
be, whatever specialty you have,please keep in mind that your
loved ones have not had therepetition and the training that
(16:57):
you have had.
And so when we know what weknow and we have an expectation
of others to know what wealready know, without the
training, without the time,without the caring, without the
ability, I'm going to be veryblunt for a moment.
We're not all wired the same,but I'm a warrior and I said yes
(17:19):
, and you could be a warrior forlove.
You can be a warrior forintellect, you could be a
warrior for compassion.
You do not have to be a warriorfor intellect.
You to be a warrior forcompassion, you do not have to
be a destructive warrior.
From my japanese background, weused to always talk about
bushido, the warrior way, theway of the warrior.
And the truth is, you canchoose to create and fill and
use that compassion, thatpassion, that drive, that strive
(17:42):
to support and build, not totear down love, love that man.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Yeah, so you know, in so many people it's really
again what, what your, what yourintegrity is, your integrity
for what you want right and whatyou want to do, because I think
it's, please no please, no, no,no, please continue, because I
think I'm having thoughts asyou're saying, that I'm like oh
yeah, this is good.
So it's really so important fora life of fulfillment, or?
(18:14):
You know what success means toyou, if you will, because it
means something different toeverybody.
So if you can figure that outand have that passion and I know
Chuck's going to dive in herehow much further, how much
fulfilled can your life be?
Because everybody has adifferent idea of success, right
?
One person is I pay my bills.
One person is I'm president,you know.
(18:36):
One person is I help everysingle person I can and bring up
their day or lighten their dayand make them happier in the
moment, so that they can go onand create a ripple effect and
make other people's liveshappier.
Success means somethingdifferent to everybody.
So I think it's so important,especially with what you said.
What's that fulfillment inmoving forward with it.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Yeah, if someone were to say hey, michael, I'm going
to give you a million dollarsand for the next month you are
going to be miserable.
You know, oh, for a milliondollars and for the next month
you are going to be miserable.
You know, oh for a milliondollars I could be miserable.
I go hey, I'm going to give you$5 million and for the rest of
your life you will suffer everysingle day.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No way.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And people like oh wait, what?
Now?
You can go wherever you want togo, you can do whatever you
want, but we're going to makesure that you're suffering.
So you're going to havefibromyalgia, you're going to
have some form of stressorwithin your body.
Because see, here's thedismissive part People believe
that striving and pushing anddriving is happiness and I go.
(19:40):
No, that's achievement.
That's been an externalresource that someone gave to
you as their goal and outcome,because they had to measure and
they can't measure what's notmoving.
So, when you remove all thefluff and stuff, when you remove
all the lapel of all theribbons and all the accolades
(20:02):
and the uniform because I'mgoing to make a bold statement
and I'm going to apologize aheadof time the military is a
beautiful institution.
The challenge is that you donot build character by tearing
people down.
And I can tell you there's adifferent way, because those
(20:25):
that are the elite, those thatget pushed beyond their comfort
zone, they find a way to flowthrough it, not just grind
through it.
Because here's the challengeyou may not pay the price at the
time that you're going throughthat training.
It will be taken off on theback end of your life, when you
are in a sympathetic state.
(20:45):
That means fully activatedspecial elite unit, special
forces, navy SEALs, special ops,whatever the case might be, I
said you are on full tilt.
Using every single ounce ofyour cognitive and unconscious
ability, you will distort,delete and generalize
information constantly.
(21:07):
And be fully on tilt.
Why?
Because you have to be.
That's what you've trained tobe.
You've been trained to be akiller.
You've been trained to be thatidentity and they've done
psychic battles they look at.
That's why some people wash out, because the psych studies but
here's what I'm going to sharewith you those that stay in and
make it through and live thelongest have one character trait
(21:31):
, michael, what do you thinkthat might be?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
uh, it could be a lot uh, finding passion, finding a
fulfillment, finding somethingto sustain, yeah and yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
They have an uncanny ability to remember how to
forget.
Oh Yep, there we go.
Most people find the pain fromtheir past, yeah.
They find fear, yeah, becauseit's the unknown, yeah, all of
the connections in the moment,and so what they are brilliant
at is being present.
Mm-hmm, when you meet thesefolks, you know exactly who
(22:06):
you're speaking to, because theyare like right here.
Right here, there's nodivergent thinking, there's no,
you know, fluttering eyemovement.
They're like right here,they're like hanging on your
every breath and it's like, wow,feel that presence Cause please
remember these words Peoplemeet your energy before they
(22:27):
meet you.
Love that and it's so true, itis true, your state, your
breathing, your being, yourenergy, your frequency.
Because there's a lot of folksthat when they get out of
service, they fake it till theymake it, and then they get to
the next phase, which they fakeit till they make it.
And then they get to the nextphase, which is they face it as
(22:48):
they make it oh, I'm gettingsome vocational training, I'm
getting through some stuff andthen they get to this point
where they faith it as they makeit, like, hey, I'm making some
progress, this is good, I'mactually starting to enjoy this
stuff.
This is cooler than I thoughtit would be.
Then you get to this level.
You start to believe as youachieve.
And in that belief system nowyou can skip steps, by the way,
(23:14):
you can.
You can literally go fromfaking it till you make it to
believe as you achieve.
Because when you are connectedto the emotions at a deep level,
you're like, hey, I might notbe the best computer programmer,
but I care what we're workingon and I'm so impassioned that
I'm learning at a curve.
That is like going to thestratosphere.
(23:35):
Instead of oh, I have a story,I'm negotiating with myself.
Well, they said it's going totake six months.
I'm going to take the whole sixmonths.
Wait what?
Wow, where did that lowstandard come from?
Oh well, chuck, I listened toyou and Michael and I'm being
patient with myself.
I said no, you're placatingyourself.
There's a difference.
That level of procrastinationcomes from discomfort.
(23:57):
It comes from this 10million-year-old monkey brain
that's trying to protect you.
And there's no adversary behindthe rock.
There's no sniper up on themesa, there's no IED on the
ground.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
It's really amazing how, when people see what they
want and see it as already done,how the answers just come, the
confidence just comes.
But, chuck, I'm going to behonest.
All right, we're on episode 98with you right Of this podcast.
(24:43):
When I first started, I had noclue.
I talked to some people Ialways do that to the people
that I respect and to gaininformation.
I've done that since I was, youknow, young, and so when you,
but when you make it to, you,make it whatever you want to do,
when you see it is already doneyes you literally have that
confidence.
You literally have that faith,yes, and which is so important
(25:07):
to accomplish anything.
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 3 (25:11):
I a hundred percent agree with it.
In fact, I'll take it a stepfurther.
It's exactly what you said,which is you need to be able to,
and it's not just aboutdreaming.
Let's be very clear.
Okay, I'm going to be a littlebit, I'm going to be crass for a
a moment.
I hope you will all bear withme.
Not rude, but crass, feel free.
(25:31):
There are so many people thatcome up with outcomes and goals
and they're not theirs.
It's not even theirs.
They're like when I have thismuch money, I'll be happy, and
I'm like, no, you won't.
When I have, when I have thismuch time, when I have this car,
when I have this house, when Ihave this gal, when I have this
(25:52):
dog, when I have these kids, andI'm like, go ahead, no, because
you cannot outrun you.
When you are uncomfortable withyou, you can't fly fast enough,
drive fast enough, escapevelocity.
You are stuck with you, andit's a blessing because none of
(26:13):
us is broken.
So if you're seeing a therapist, a counselor, whomever the case
might be, you'll know they'rethe right ones when you start to
understand more about you andhow you're feeling about self.
If you are still stuck in thesame story and after five or six
months, you're still talkingabout the same story over and
over and over and over again.
(26:34):
Get out, because it's likebeing in a house of mirrors.
You will continue to walkaround looking for something
different and not finding it,because when you are, the
reference point comes back toyou.
So I'm going to actuallychallenge you to consider
(26:57):
something slightly different.
What would it take for you toforgive you, to just let go of
that?
Whatever it is, it doesn'tdissolve it, it doesn't say it
never happened.
It's just that it does not ruleyour life now, because if
(27:18):
anxiety or tension orprocrastination is your moniker,
that's your fuel of choice,that's because you are hanging
on by your fingernails tosomething from your past.
When you let go of that pain,it's going to be like having an
emotional enema, and there'sways to do this where you can
(27:41):
actually feel full and free andlight and you're like oh wow, my
eyes are actually green and notthis putrid brown that has been
building on my body Not judginganyone that has brown eyes, by
the way.
I'm just saying at some point intime, we need to understand
that you can give yourselffreedom.
The difference is is where thatfreedom is going to come from
(28:06):
and what's necessary in orderfor you to feel full.
Because here's the deal Ready.
You can't give away what youdon't own.
It's impossible.
I can't give you air if I haveno air.
I can't give you hydration if Ihave no water.
I can't give you love.
(28:27):
I can assimilate love, I canfake love.
I can't give you genuine loveif I'm not loving me.
We us everyone.
They go what I got to loveeveryone.
So, michael, I'm going to askthe question question can you
(28:47):
love someone but not like themvery much, I believe so I know.
So, man, I love everybody.
There's some people I'm notexactly in adoration of and
people go.
Oh what?
You have a difference ingeopolitical conversation?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(29:07):
I love everybody.
I don't wish anyone ill will.
I don't wish anyone pain orsuffering, none of it.
They go oh, not even thosepeople that hurt kids or are
mean people.
And I go listen, I don't tohang out with those people.
(29:28):
Their frequency, their energyis not my frequency and energy.
If I was in their presence Imight do something very foolish,
because I can't stand whenpeople are bullies Like I have.
A huge.
One of my trigger points isbullying and I won't stand for
it in any way, shape or formverbal, emotional, spiritual,
(29:49):
intellectual.
I see people who are sointellectual and they try to
bulldoze people in Bethlehemwith BS.
It's not just belief systems,it's also cow manure.
Just letting you all know.
I told you I'm going to keep itreal why this is so important.
Know your tribe, know thepeople that you need in your
(30:12):
life to fill up, to feel full,and they go.
But, chuck, you said yes, sohere's the deal.
I'm going to surmise everythingthat Michael and I talk about
in one statement.
Your relationship with anyonestarts with you.
The only reason why you cancall it a fruitful relationship
is because you feel full, youfeel connected, you feel
(30:35):
energetic, you feel like more ofyourself when you're in the
presence of this person.
And it has nothing to do withthe other person.
It has to do with how you feelabout yourself.
So if you are feelingdisgruntled and you don't feel
connected, please understandthis one simple thing You're
struggling with loving yourself,appreciating yourself, honoring
(30:56):
yourself.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I love that you say that.
First of all, you just droppedso many gold nuggets I don't
even know where to start andwe're already over time.
My brother, time, my brother,no, no, no, we own the place.
It's fine.
It's fine and I know, I knowyou need to go, um, you know it,
you know I, I teach my clientsand I do it myself and I do
teach my clients because I'veseen the results of you know you
don't have to to love whatsomebody does, their actions,
(31:23):
those kinds of things.
But as a human being, when youcan look at somebody's absolute
strangers and again I do thisand and put intent of I love you
, just as a human being here onearth, with us battling with
things, just like, just likeeverybody does every day, to
some extent it changes yourfrequency, it gives you more
(31:45):
energy and people feel it.
I've been through Walmart,chuck, having the most amazing
conversations with strangers,and it happens all the time.
And when you can draw in goodother people, I mean, chuck,
we're friends for a reason,right, it changes your world
because again, it starts withyour love.
(32:08):
First for yourself, you've gotto put on the option mask before
you put it on for someone else.
They tell you that for a reasonand then, when you can create
that with intent, love otherpeople.
It brings the right people toyou.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
I believe that 100%.
Brother very well stated If youlike classic rock, 89.9, hit the
channel, it's right there.
However, if you put in 89.9, 89, or 90.1, you're just a couple
(32:48):
of frequency modulations off.
All of a sudden it might be,you know, like oh, wait, wait a
second, why am I hearingmariachi music?
I thought I would that well,and I happen to be in mexico, so
it's all good.
But for you all, understand thefrequency that you modulate at,
so that you actually attractother people who like classic
(33:11):
rock.
Think about that for a second.
It's so simple.
You do not have to.
And if you're like, oh, but ifI want to listen to someone
else's station, I go, then fine,as long as you fill up from it.
This is how you find newcommunities of people Like, oh,
(33:32):
I'm going to join a church, I go, which one?
What's the frequency, what'sthe modulation, what's the
conversation like, how's thecongregation?
What kind of communities areyou in?
See, I'm not a huge proponentof masterminds, I'm a huge
proponent of communities.
Why?
Because they're heart-centric,not just head-centric.
(33:53):
Like-minded you only get you sofar.
Like-hearted, take you to themoon and back.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Amen, amen.
Chuck, absolutely love that,and we are so far beyond now.
All right, buddy, hey.
So, chuck, how do people reachout to you?
Speaker 3 (34:10):
my friend, it's real simple.
Come check us out at YBL nowdot com.
Or if you have a question andyou really just want to start a
dialogue, just email me, chuck,ybl now dot com, and it's really
, really, really simple.
Live your best life.
You know, michael, I love you.
Thank you for having thisplatform and allowing me to be a
(34:31):
guest on your show today.
This is important informationand happy to oblige you Anything
you need, my man.
Much love to you and Susan.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
Absolutely.
Thank you, man, and you knowthe YBL community is an amazing
community.
It's an amazing tribe.
Anybody that's interested,reach out.
Obviously, chuck, if we can andwe're going to have you back on
.
Obviously, come on now If youcan give us three tips to get
veterans and their familiesfurther faster.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
Yes.
One slow down.
Speed kills.
Speed kills indiscriminately.
Two be patient with yourself.
Be patient with yourself.
Three self-care is not selfish,it's a necessity.
Make sure you're getting inyour reps, if it's, and I'm
(35:20):
going to make it real simplebody, mind, spirit.
30 minutes each one of thosecategories each day.
Feed yourself healthyinformation, healthy energy,
healthy time and healthy food.
Move your body deliberately.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Absolutely love it, chuck.
Time is the most preciousresource we have as human beings
.
My friend, you don't get itback.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time out of your life to
help create a ripple effect andjust to be there for the
veterans and their families aswell, as you always are our
family, so really appreciatethat.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
It's a pleasure, my brother.
Much love to you and yours.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Thank you All.
Right, everybody, we're out ofhere.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Thank you for joining us on another insightful
journey of your Thoughts yourReality podcast with your host,
michael Cole.
We hope the conversationsparked some thoughts that
resonate with you.
To dive deeper into empoweringyour thoughts and enhancing your
reality, visitempowerperformancestrategiescom.
Remember your thoughts shapeyour reality, so make them count
(36:22):
.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
Until next time, stay inspiredand keep creating the reality
you desire.
Catch you on the next episode.
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