July 1, 2025 • 39 mins
You’re not stuck or broken—just living by old patterns that steal your power. This episode shows you how to take it all back.
You’re not stuck or broken—just living by old patterns that steal your power. This episode shows you how to take it all back.
Kellan Fluckiger tears down the lies of victim energy, perfectionism, and learned helplessness, guiding you to reclaim your sovereignty and create Your Ultimate Life.
Discover why your past doesn’t define you, how micro-decisions shape your destiny, and the daily rituals that restore your agency—no matter what life throws at you.
👉 Want to go deeper? Get the free 5 Steps to Your Ultimate Life at yourultimatelife.ca or join the Dream Build Write It Challenge on Sept 29 to turn your story into a movement: https://www.dreambuildwriteit.com.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power and real talk, so you can create
the life you dream and deserveyour ultimate life.
Subscribe, Share, create.
(00:24):
You have infinite power.
Hey, thanks for being here today.
Crazy life, isn't it?
Things just happen all the time.
You're not.
You're not expecting somebodygets sick.
Maybe you've been sick recently.
I'll tell you a couple thingsthat have happened for me, even silly
little things.
This morning, my wife, who'smy business partner, and my holy
(00:47):
angel, her name is Joy, came downstairs.
Big sad look.
My computer won't start.
Well, you've all had that.
That could be anything from acatastrophic failure to nothing,
right?
But you, those things, they happen.
So I had to stop, go up andsee what it was, reset the BIOS as
(01:08):
a first effort started.
Yippee, crisis averted.
And so that was a tiny one,but same thing, you go out in the
garage, there's a flat tire,or someone sends you a message, a
deal you've been counting on.
Ooh.
Doesn't go through.
Well, we've decided to go withsomeone else.
(01:29):
Oh, we've decided we're notquite ready yet.
Ever had that happen?
Boy, have I.
I just got an email from someone.
It was, you know, not a giantdeal, but five figures and email.
Well, just don't.
Yeah, don't think it's whatwe're going to do right now.
And that's after severalassurances that this was something
(01:49):
they were going to do.
So those things happen all the time.
I got another one going onright now.
Crazy.
I sing, as you know, and Ihave lots of songs.
And I've got three more thatare ready.
Well, they're not quite finished.
I've got the two of them.
I've got everything done butthe vocals.
And the third one, I have somemusic to do in the studio, still
(02:11):
in the vocals, but the vocalshave been a problem.
This.
This bug, that kind of thing,just won't go away.
And so halfway through songs,you know, I did some.
I work practice at least anhour, maybe two every day on keyboard
and on singing for songs ingeneral to get everything learned.
Just won't go away.
(02:31):
I don't know what it is.
Not sick.
And that bug in the throat.
If anybody's got any greatideas, get a hold of me and let me
know.
Best way to do that is thatURL right there.
Kellenfluker media.com go there.
Helenfluecigermedia.com usethe contact form and tell me your
brilliant solution for thatperpetual bug in the throat, which
(02:53):
I don't normally have, but Ihave had for the last several weeks.
And that.
Right.
And I don't know why.
Anyway, so those things happenand worse things.
Maybe you have an existentialcrisis where you've been trying for
a year or two or three tocreate a business and it's just not
(03:15):
working for you.
So you wake up and you say,I'm dead.
I'm finished.
I can't do it.
I'm just not cut out for this.
It won't work.
Or maybe someone close to yousays, I'm finished with you, deluding
yourself.
I can't support you anymore.
Maybe it's your partner oryour spouse or your business partner.
Can't.
It's not working.
I quit.
(03:36):
Have you had that happen?
I'll bet you have.
Raise your hand.
Sick feeling in the stomach.
Let's go vomit and then comeback and talk.
So there's a lot of things totalk about.
These setbacks.
And I titled today building resilience.
Building resilience.
Turning setbacks into setups.
(03:58):
Right?
Setbacks into setups.
And that means set up for success.
When I picked that word, Ithought setups.
I wonder if you know, like acriminal, hey, I'm being set up.
That's not what I mean.
Setups that are good setupsfor you.
And often when we talk aboutthis, so.
So often people say, yeah,that's just a bunch of psycho babble.
(04:19):
We're just saying those things.
But it's not really true.
We're just trying to getourselves in a good mood.
Well, there's several parts tothat one that is true.
We choose our frame of mind.
And the reason it's importantto know that is because when you're
excited or I'm excited, I do better.
(04:42):
I'm more excited about things.
I'm more productive.
I'm more creative.
So are you.
You know that.
So imagine, I want you to gothink right now about the biggest
setback or something you thinkis a setback.
Loss of revenue, loss ofrelationship, loss of help or damage
(05:02):
in any one of those areas.
I was talking to somebody whoI interviewed not too long ago here
on the podcast, and they saidsomething had changed in the world,
something pretty significantand a place where they got, I think
they said 80% of their revenuesuddenly disappeared.
(05:23):
Imagine that.
Catastrophic for them.
It's interesting becausethat's not the only person.
About six months ago, I.
I talked to A person whowasn't a client, but that I knew
and that I had talked toperiodically over the years just
to keep connections going.
And a coach in a differentcity, a different area, same thing
(05:46):
about five months ago, becauseI think their feeling was that it
had something to do with theelection outcome.
So I live in Canada, but inthe US Donald Trump got elected and
that person blamed or thoughtthat Donald Trump's actions in terms
of either governmentefficiency or, you know, changing
(06:07):
something had caused asignificant loss of revenue for their
business.
Now, I don't know the causeand I didn't investigate it, but
what I know is 80% loss intheir business, also catastrophic,
unexpected.
And they were not prepared andthey weren't doing a bunch of railing
and screaming, but they werelike, hey, what do we do now?
So this is the subject of today.
(06:30):
How do we turn thosecatastrophes, how do we turn those
catastrophes into opportunities?
Now we have all kinds ofphrases that deal with that.
You've heard the story aboutthe little boy that's led into a
big barn and in the barnthere's a big pile of horse poop.
(06:51):
And the little boy, instead ofbeing grossed out, dives into the
horse poop and starts throwingit here and there.
And someone asks him, what areyou doing?
And he said, well, with allthis horse crap, I know there's got
to be a pony in here somewhere.
So that was a choice.
He responded to enthusiasmwith enthusiasm.
(07:12):
And we treat that as some kindof a joke.
But I think there's a littlemore to it than that.
Because what we know frommassive scientific research is that
the energy we fill our hearts,our souls, our minds with has a creative
power.
(07:33):
Now if you believed that, ifyou really, to the core believe that,
you'd guard your thoughts andyour feelings like mad.
Like you would if you knewthat thinking powerful and positive
expectant thoughts and takingaction consistent with those thoughts
(07:57):
would create the outcome you want.
If you knew that was true, youbelieved it and you knew it, you
would guard those thoughtslike crazy.
If on this, on the.
By the same token, if you knewthat having grumpy thoughts, negative,
self critical thoughts, I'mnot good enough, it won't work.
Who am I to do this?
Write a book or change myneighborhood, let alone the world.
(08:20):
If you knew that thinkingnegatively about that was going to
guarantee failure, you'd guardyour thoughts like crazy.
And we do that, even though wehave all read the books and seen
the studies that say, as a manor woman thinketh, so is he or she
(08:41):
like, we've heard that amillion times and said all kinds
of different ways.
Napoleon Hill, think and grow Rich.
Outwitting the devil.
Wallace Waddles, Science ofGetting Rich.
I mean, all of those books,methods, philosophies, talk about
that.
And yet we only half believe it.
(09:01):
Why?
Why do you only half believe it?
And if you disagree with me,you're free to, you know, reach out
to me and tell me you disagreeand you believe it fully.
And again, if you want to geta hold of me, there's the URL on
the screen.
Kellenflukermedia.com use thecontact form.
Tell me what you think.
(09:22):
I make that judgment about.
You don't believe it becauseof how you.
By and large, I'm not talkingto an individual here, but how we
act because we act as if wedon't believe it or we act as if
it's true for somebody.
I'm sure it's true.
Yeah, whatever.
But not for me.
(09:43):
And that's not true with respect.
That belief is not true withrespect to the negative side.
We believe that because we expect.
We express.
We say, my life's full of stuff.
Garbage just keeps happeningto me.
How come?
And then we don't stop tothink about how much we expect trouble.
(10:06):
We expect there's.
We expect things to go wrong.
And by that expectation, wecreate them.
That's an interesting way anda truthful way to look at this.
Yet if you knew, or I knew, ifwe knew that we were going to create
(10:28):
something terrible with ourthoughts, man, we'd guard them like
crazy.
But we don't.
Here's a challenge for you,and I hope it's fun and revealing
at the same time.
I want you to stop 10 or 12times today and think about your
internal dialogue.
What are you saying to yourself?
(10:48):
What are you believing about yourself?
If I were to hear the deepestinner voice of your heart, what would
I think?
What would I know was true?
About how much you loveyourself or believe in your future
or are exercising yourcreative power.
(11:12):
Now, there's a one way oflooking about, looking at this that
I really like.
Sometimes we act like we'resitting in a movie theater and there's
a projection on the screen.
And the projection on thescreen is.
(11:34):
Is our life.
It's the scenes of our life.
And we look at those scenesand react positively or negatively
to those scenes and think,that wasn't fair.
That wasn't good.
Oh, that was great.
And we act like we don't haveanything to do with what's going
on up in the projection booth.
(11:57):
Here's another way to thinkabout that.
What if you and I, what if weare the projector and what's on the
screen, meaning the scenes ofour life, is what we are projecting.
Now if you believe that, thenthe challenge is like I said 10 times,
(12:20):
just listen to your innerdialogue and see what you're really
projecting onto your life screen.
Because my experience is thatthat representation about being the
projector is extremely accurate.
What I think, what I believe,what I'm feeling, I'm projecting
(12:43):
that out through my eyes ontothe screen of life.
And sometimes we object tothat idea because there are so many
things that go on around usthat others do or say that we believe
that we have nothing to do with.
And, and undoubtedly there arethings that are beyond our control.
(13:05):
Weather and, you know, warsthat start here and there.
And we seem to be having aterrifyingly exceeding number of
those right now, with whoknows how many poor souls dying.
It just breaks my heart.
So we don't create that, butin the microcosm we do create our
(13:29):
lives.
We invite experiences that areconsistent with what we believe,
the energy that we project.
Now, I know this is not a newidea for you, but the challenge right
now is let's say you're havingthese setbacks.
(13:51):
Let's say instead of arguingwith me, you simply say, okay, maybe
the projections of mythinking, my belief are attracting
to me magnetically these neverthese negative experiences.
Instead of getting into anargument with me, some people say,
well, I didn't want to get sick.
I didn't.
(14:11):
Let's set that aside for aminute just for the sake of this
conversation.
Let's say you do.
You set that aside and yousay, okay, I'm projecting an energy
that invited this kind of experience.
I'm projecting a belief aboutmyself, about my future, about my
(14:32):
possibilities, about where I'm going.
That invited setbacks, thatinvited pushback from the universe
and from life.
Let's just for the sake ofargument go there.
What are our opportunities?
One opportunity is to argueand say, I didn't do anything.
(14:53):
It's just friggin not fair.
That's a legitimate point of view.
I don't think it's very productive.
Certainly hasn't been for me.
Another one is to just getcurious and say, what, what am I
saying in my private chambers?
Because usually that's theplace, what we say out loud.
If you're saying things outloud, denigrating or dissing yourself
(15:16):
or I suck, I'll never do thisif you're talking like that out loud,
you're already three layersinto this, okay?
And what I mean by that is, bythe time you say it out loud, you've
already said it inside andcountless times.
And on top of that, by sayingit inside, you're creating, excuse
(15:37):
me, the neurotransmitters of failure.
The neurotransmitters ofsadness, of frustration, of anxiety,
of depression.
You're creating that becauseof your internal dialogue.
So still going down the roadof, let's say that our energy attracts
these experiences from lifethat push back on us.
Let's just say that that'strue one way, and we talked about
(16:01):
one way, but another way tolook at that is, okay, we say sometimes,
well, everything happens for areason, and what doesn't kill you
makes.
Makes you stronger and so forth.
And so then we can take thepoint of view of, okay, this is here
so that I can develop moreresilience or be a better person
in some way consistent withthe particular trial.
(16:24):
And that is a better way thanto be angry and blaming.
But it isn't the most powerfulway because that, again, says, an
externality smashed itself inmy face and it's for my good, so
whatever.
And that usually isaccompanied by some resentment and,
(16:46):
okay, I'll tough it outthrough this.
Somehow.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
Okay, There's a even morepowerful way to respond to this,
and that is as a suggestion,that's this.
I can't make you do anything.
And I wouldn't even if I could.
And I'll tell you why in a minute.
(17:07):
A more, much more powerful wayis simply to say, okay, this happened,
whatever it is, IRS took allyour money, your partner left you,
you got sick.
I'm saying big things.
It can be small things.
Kid got in trouble at school,had a flat tire, late to work, got
fired, all kinds of different things.
And just ask this question.
(17:28):
What am I thinking?
Believing.
What kind of energy am I doingthat is drawing this kind of trial
or difficult experience in my life?
Am I boasting?
And so, you know, there was aforce needed to kind of make sure
I didn't explode my own importance.
(17:51):
Now, I don't know if there'ssomebody around keeping score, but
it seems like balance is a bigpart of the universal laws, the laws
of nature, equilibrium.
And so if we try to brag,we're very likely going to invite
some kind of negativeexperience to balance that.
(18:16):
So let's just play that game.
I challenge you for the nextfew Days, anything that happens that's
not what you want, that is,seems like a catastrophe or disaster,
little one or big one, Insteadof getting mad or instead of just
sort of being resigned, justsay, okay, that is.
And if you're really going forthe tough one, say, I'm grateful
(18:38):
that happened.
I love it.
I love the fact that my bankaccount's empty or that I'm sick
in the hospital right now.
It gives me time to think.
And then say, I wonder what Iam, what.
What I can make out of this.
What can I change that willpull me onto a life path, into a
(18:59):
life energy, into a.
Into a lifeline that doesn'thave this, where I'm able and energized
and motivated to add good tothe world and create good stuff.
So I challenge you to do that.
And I promise you, if you do,turning setbacks into setups for
good things is not difficult.
(19:19):
Now, I'm going to tell you alittle story about just exactly that.
Just last Christmas.
So it's.
I'm recording this in May of2025, and it's going to air in the
end of June or first part ofJuly, but I don't know when you're
going to see it.
But five months ago, justbefore Christmas, on a Saturday,
(19:42):
Friday, you know, Friday andSaturday that week, I started experiencing
really severe lightheadedness.
So I would sit down or stand up.
And I know if you stand up toofast, you get lightheaded.
I know all that.
I've lived a long time and hadthat kind of experience.
This was different and moreradical, more severe.
You know, it scared me.
(20:05):
And so it went on severaltimes that week.
And finally on Saturday, aboutfour or five times, I experienced
real lightheadedness.
And one time, even twiceactually, I passed out just momentarily.
And one time I found myself,when I woke up, slumped against the
wall.
And another time I sat in achair, and the act of even sitting
(20:26):
down caused this.
I, you know, came to with my head.
Well, and it wasn't very long,and I wasn't going to do anything
about it, but I told Joy, andshe said, are you nuts?
We're going to go to the, youknow, we're going to the ER to see
what's wrong with you.
That's not okay.
How many times has it happened today?
Oh, five.
(20:46):
Are you crazy?
We're going.
So we did.
And it was interesting becauseinstead of just dismissing me like
I thought, well, they'll justtake a look at it and see there's
nothing wrong.
And they'll tell me, you know,drink more, you're dehydrated or
you're something, something, something.
They didn't do that at all.
It was quite a while.
(21:07):
Two or three.
Yeah, four hours.
We went at 5 or 6 o' clock tothe ER and it was after midnight,
one or two in the morningbefore I was called in.
It was quite busy and I wasn'tan urgent case, meaning I wasn't
bleeding on the floor.
But by the time they got me inand looked at everything, they decided,
you know what.
Yeah, there's some here,something here to worry about.
(21:28):
So they kept me.
They wanted to do 24 hours of monitoring.
So they hooked me up to somegear and left me there for 24 hours
all through Sunday and intoMonday morning and, you know, took
heart readings and all thekind of stuff they do for that.
That sort of occurrence.
And here's the reason I saythat instead of.
(21:49):
And this is practicing what Iwas just talking about earlier, instead
of asking Joy to bring mesomething to read, or instead of
watching television, I decidednot to.
I didn't turn on the tv, Ididn't do anything.
I just decided to take thatsacred space of about 28 hours.
I slept some of it, but justto be with the Spirit, to sit with
(22:13):
God and to explore the veryquestions that I'm talking to you
about what is happening.
Because you know what mymission is?
My mission is to reach 300million people with the message.
And the message is, you aredivine, capable and anything is possible,
meaning you can create your life.
(22:35):
So I just decided to sit with that.
And it turned what could havebeen either an angering or frustrating
waste of time or somethingscary into a beautiful and glorious
experience where I was verynear to the Spirit.
I felt like the veil was very,very thin.
And I had a bunch ofexperiences that I'm not going to
(22:59):
tell the stories now becauseit doesn't matter.
But the point was, it was thechoice to simply love what is.
And to ask myself, what am I believing?
What kind of energy am Iliving in that would bring me up
short, slap upside the face.
(23:20):
And I had several clear piecesof direction.
About three or four things inmy life.
One was the pace that I wasliving at.
Two was maybe I wasn't quitepaying enough attention to the body.
And there were three or fourconcrete suggestions.
And so there were somebusiness things, some things with
joy, some things in my life,and I don't.
(23:42):
I would never have receivedthose if I had been either frustrated
or angry or resigned.
It was because I leaned rightin and said, okay, let's, let's,
let's just sit here with this.
So I share that experience,not to say anything about me, but
to give you a firsthandpersonal example of something that
(24:04):
could have been scary.
Instead, I turned it into aninquiry, and it turned out to be
glorious and beautiful.
So the point of today, I wantto make several points here for you
to take this away.
Setbacks into setups.
That was an example for me.
(24:25):
List three or four setbacksright now that you have had in the
last day or week or month.
Maybe your day's packed andyou've had three or four in the last
three hours.
I don't know.
But list them.
List them and ask yourself,what is the gift in each one?
What is the gift in here?
What is the possible gift?
(24:47):
Because it's always availablefor you or me to get beat down, to
lay on the ground and say, I quit.
I'm done.
It's not fair.
I've had the crap kicked outof me.
I've been busting my butt,trying really hard.
It never works.
And we've all used that lineof reasoning, and we know where it
goes, too.
Never fixes anything.
(25:10):
Instead, ask, what's the gift here?
What can I do right now todevelop patience?
And patience is not doing nothing.
Patience is not resignation.
Patience is not binging Netflix.
Patience is leaning injoyously and exploring the opportunity.
(25:31):
See, when unexpected thingshappen, we tend to get frustrated
and mad that the laws ofnature and the will, God and the
actions of others didn't lineup with our.
Our chosen view of theuniverse, our chosen flow for this
day or this week or this month.
Well, one of the things wesaid earlier is maybe things are
(25:52):
there's a possible growth opportunity.
I can't find that growthopportunity if I don't fall in love
with what is what if we sayinstead, These setbacks, as it were,
are not even setbacks.
They're opportunities to learnto love myself more.
(26:12):
They're opportunities toexplore my own level of resilience.
Now, we've all seen themovies, read the books about people
in difficult circumstances,starvation and wartime, and marveled
at their resilience, thattheir willingness and determination
to keep moving forward.
(26:34):
And sometimes we say, well,they had no choice.
Yeah, they did.
Yeah, you do.
Every single time.
So I told you we were doingfour parts about going from stuck
to soaring.
And this is the third one.
The first one was the hiddencost of settling why being good enough
(26:54):
quote is holding you back.
And the second one Was last episode.
The power of choice,reclaiming your agency, the sacred
nature of agency.
And this one is buildingresilience, turning these setbacks
into setups.
Now, in order for this to dogood for me, at least, I have to
not play games with it.
(27:15):
If I go, well, I guess there'ssupposed to be something good in
here somewhere, so I'll justfreaking pretend and do whatever
and see what I can find.
When I've done that oranything like it.
It hasn't really producedanything for me.
When I lay down my insistencethat the laws of nature work according
to my yearning, when I quitfighting with reality and I simply
(27:38):
lean in and say, this spirit,having a human experience, what can
I make out of this?
Every single time I've donethat sincerely and with real desire,
it has been amazing.
It has changed the game in asignificant way.
And, you know, it's kind oflike the word breakthrough.
(28:00):
When someone says to me, howto breakthrough?
How to breakthrough?
When they've said that 50 or60 or 100 times, I used to find myself
wondering, oh, come on, howmany breakthroughs is it going to
take?
What are you breaking throughtissue paper?
When are we going to get there?
I no longer think that anymore.
Because any sudden or gradual,but usually sudden insight where
(28:23):
you realize you've beenlooking at life, your growth, your
capability a certain way, andthen you realize, holy cow, there's
another mountaintop, There's adifferent way to look at this.
There's a whole differentthing I wasn't seeing.
Anytime we do that, it's so exhilarating.
It's so exciting.
It's so much fun.
(28:43):
Now, here's some things I knowabout you and some invitations for
you.
I know that you're a divine being.
I know that you havecapability and power.
I also know that you have ayearning to add good to the world.
By add good to the world, Isimply mean live your life in a conscious,
intentional way.
(29:04):
To be kind, to be of service,to lift, to love, to bless, like
we are here.
To love and serve each other.
Making a billion dollars orgetting greedy or having the biggest
house or the best cars orwhatever, Those are fun, but they're
not our purpose.
That's really obvious, becausehow many people do you know that
(29:24):
have all the material thingsthey want and they're still not happy?
They still have the emptinessand still yearning and looking?
Well, I know a boatload.
I used to be one.
You probably do, too.
How many people do you knoware living in the shadow of their
dreams?
And what I Mean by that isthey have this year, maybe you, a
yearning to have more, to bemore, to make a difference.
(29:48):
And yet when you look at yourcalendar and you look at your energy
and you look at where youspend your time, your energy, your
love, your focus, your cash,it doesn't line up with those lofty
goals.
I often hear from potentialclient or someone I'm talking to
about a lofty or powerfulthing they really want to do.
(30:10):
And I'll ask the question,well, how bad do you want that?
Oh, I'll do anything.
Okay.
Really?
Yeah, I'll do whatever I have to.
And so then we start exploringthings that are going on, either
attitudes or behaviors orhabits that are in their lives that
are absolutely and obviouslyin the way.
And quite often there is asort of rejection of that.
(30:33):
Well, I didn't know I had tochange that.
And so what we're reallysaying is I want everything that
I want to somehow be deliveredwith a magic wand and in an instant.
Life was built to build us.
Life is created to give us theopportunity to grow.
(30:55):
The cool thing is that nobodycan force you to grow, or me.
Nobody can force you todevelop your talents.
Nobody can force you to lookat every setback as a beautiful opportunity.
Nobody can force you to do that.
And the other side of thatcoin is no one can prevent you from
(31:15):
that joyful experience.
I promise you a couple of things.
When you lean in and make thevery most of everything that happens,
I don't know why this happened.
It's not what I was lookingfor, but I'm gonna find a pony in
here.
Every time you do that, yourheart is lighter, your creativity
goes up and you feel reallygood about yourself.
(31:35):
You get hits of dopamine andserotonin and all the rest.
Because creativity is fun.
Exploring is fun.
Curiosity is fun.
Curiosity is the seed of passion.
Curiosity is the seed.
Passion is the fruit.
(31:56):
So many of us at maybe all ourlives are at different times.
We want everything to bequick, instantaneous.
Yeah, I've had a setback andsomebody come and take it away.
It is in the doing that we learn.
It is in the activity that weget better.
I use a silly example all thetime, but if I watch a YouTube video
(32:19):
of someone that's in shapedoing 100 push ups and I watch it
50 times, I don't getstronger, do I?
And we live in a world wherewe think that everything digital
should be quick and easy.
And it's not real growth,never was.
And by living in this world ofnot being Resilient.
(32:40):
We're losing the ability.
We're losing the ability tobuild, to push through, to develop.
We're developing the abilityto complain, to grumble to right
and to moan at everything andeverybody else.
We're developing that to ahigh level of skill.
All you have to do is watchthe tv, look at social media and
talk about politics and you'llsee no matter which side you're on,
(33:03):
we're building great facilityin arguing and smashing and degrading
and everything else.
How about if we return to theability to be resilient, the return
to the ability to be selfsufficient, to stop looking for some
cavalry coming over the hilland instead look inside and say,
what is my capability?
(33:25):
What One step.
Now I'm going to give you somestrategies to do this in everyday
life because it's easy to talkabout stuff at 30,000 or 50,000ft.
Here's how you implement this.
Every time you find yourselffrustrated or angry, stop and ask,
why am I frustrated or angry?
(33:46):
And if the sentence startsbecause they or because that and
it's outside of you, that's atrigger that says you're externalizing
and blaming or I am andthere's, excuse me, there's an opportunity
to say, well, this is what it is.
What can I create here?
And smile.
What can I create here?
Well, you won't even knowuntil you explore that.
(34:07):
So that is a daily activity.
Every single time you feelfrustrated, negative, ignored, pushed
down, unfairly treated orwhatever, instead of responding,
you know, reacting to it andyelling and blaming and sulking or
whatever it is, simply say,okay, this is not what I wanted.
(34:28):
What can I create here?
If you'll take that challengeseriously, I promise it will change
your life all by itself.
Another strategy forcultivating resilience is make a
choice to follow Einstein's advice.
One of the things he said isthere's two ways to look at life.
(34:50):
One is that nothing's amiracle, and two, that everything
is.
I found personally thatchoosing to view everything as a
miracle, amazing that couldhappen, is really powerful.
It keeps me in a good mood, itkeeps me creating, and it keeps me
in wonder and awe at you, eachone of you.
(35:10):
I choose every time I talk tosomeone to look at them as an amazing
divine being and to just seewhat beauty and power there is and
have our conversation fromthat point of amazingness and power
instead of what can I get outof them or I'm bored and I'm multitasking
(35:33):
or any other sort of energeticstate that's 50 miles below, wonder
and amazement.
Now, here's the invitations.
First of all, accept my love.
I love you.
If there's something I can doto serve you, to lift you, to help
you, let me know.
(35:54):
I cannot read minds, but Iwould love to be of service if you
want to get a hold of me.
Thekellenfluekeggermedia.comcontact form is the way to do that.
The second invitation is likethat one, and that is if you have
a story to tell.
I love having people on theshow here to share your message of
(36:15):
resilience and growth and overcoming.
And believe me, in theinterviews I've done, I've seen some
staggering things that blew mymind and left me jaw dropping with
the.
The courage of some of thepeople that I've had the blessing
of talking to.
Maybe you're one of them.
(36:36):
I would love to do that.
If you want my help withanything, that's all I do.
My mission now is to reach 300million people with the message of
your divinity and thereforecapability, possibility.
Your circumstances don'tdefine you.
What's happened to you doesn'tdefine you.
Your past doesn't define you.
(36:58):
Those are all things that have happened.
And you have the choice righthere, right now to go do and be whatever
you want.
That's the beauty.
The past is in the past.
And I don't mean we can ignore it.
Sometimes there's crap we haveto clean up, especially if there's
big things, but it's all clean up.
(37:19):
I know that's not a word, so Iencourage you.
Number one, accept my love.
Two, if you want to be here onthe show or share something with
me, you're invited.
Number three, if I can shareyour message, I'll be happy to do
that.
And if you want my help withanything, do the other URL here on
the screen.
Www.dreambuildrite.
(37:41):
it's.com is a challenge thatI'm holding periodically, two or
three times a year to help youtell your story, write a book.
I found that there's nothingmore powerful than the work it takes
to organize what you'velearned, the choices that you've
made to get where you are,which is brilliant and wonderful,
(38:02):
even if you don't think so.
Doing that work, there'snothing like it, nothing substitutes
for it.
I know some things because I'mliving them every day, that if you
take that, take theopportunity to look at life through
the lens of resilience, you'llbe happier, you'll be more creative,
(38:23):
you'll be more productive andyou'll be able to make great progress
in creating your ultimate life.
Never hold back.
And you'll never hold.
Open your heart.
And this time around, righthere, right now, your opportunity
for massive growth is right infront of you.
(38:45):
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflueckegermedia.com if you
want more free tools, go here.
YourUltimateLife CA Subscribe Share.
Welcome to the show.
Tired of the hype about livinga dream?
It's time for truth.
This is the place for tools,power and real talk, so you can create
the life you dream and deserveyour ultimate life.
Subscribe, Share, create.
(00:24):
You have infinite power.
Hey, thanks for being here today.
Crazy life, isn't it?
Things just happen all the time.
You're not.
You're not expecting somebodygets sick.
Maybe you've been sick recently.
I'll tell you a couple thingsthat have happened for me, even silly
little things.
This morning, my wife, who'smy business partner, and my holy
(00:47):
angel, her name is Joy, came downstairs.
Big sad look.
My computer won't start.
Well, you've all had that.
That could be anything from acatastrophic failure to nothing,
right?
But you, those things, they happen.
So I had to stop, go up andsee what it was, reset the BIOS as
(01:08):
a first effort started.
Yippee, crisis averted.
And so that was a tiny one,but same thing, you go out in the
garage, there's a flat tire,or someone sends you a message, a
deal you've been counting on.
Ooh.
Doesn't go through.
Well, we've decided to go withsomeone else.
(01:29):
Oh, we've decided we're notquite ready yet.
Ever had that happen?
Boy, have I.
I just got an email from someone.
It was, you know, not a giantdeal, but five figures and email.
Well, just don't.
Yeah, don't think it's whatwe're going to do right now.
And that's after severalassurances that this was something
(01:49):
they were going to do.
So those things happen all the time.
I got another one going onright now.
Crazy.
I sing, as you know, and Ihave lots of songs.
And I've got three more thatare ready.
Well, they're not quite finished.
I've got the two of them.
I've got everything done butthe vocals.
And the third one, I have somemusic to do in the studio, still
(02:11):
in the vocals, but the vocalshave been a problem.
This.
This bug, that kind of thing,just won't go away.
And so halfway through songs,you know, I did some.
I work practice at least anhour, maybe two every day on keyboard
and on singing for songs ingeneral to get everything learned.
Just won't go away.
(02:31):
I don't know what it is.
Not sick.
And that bug in the throat.
If anybody's got any greatideas, get a hold of me and let me
know.
Best way to do that is thatURL right there.
Kellenfluker media.com go there.
Helenfluecigermedia.com usethe contact form and tell me your
brilliant solution for thatperpetual bug in the throat, which
(02:53):
I don't normally have, but Ihave had for the last several weeks.
And that.
Right.
And I don't know why.
Anyway, so those things happenand worse things.
Maybe you have an existentialcrisis where you've been trying for
a year or two or three tocreate a business and it's just not
(03:15):
working for you.
So you wake up and you say,I'm dead.
I'm finished.
I can't do it.
I'm just not cut out for this.
It won't work.
Or maybe someone close to yousays, I'm finished with you, deluding
yourself.
I can't support you anymore.
Maybe it's your partner oryour spouse or your business partner.
Can't.
It's not working.
I quit.
(03:36):
Have you had that happen?
I'll bet you have.
Raise your hand.
Sick feeling in the stomach.
Let's go vomit and then comeback and talk.
So there's a lot of things totalk about.
These setbacks.
And I titled today building resilience.
Building resilience.
Turning setbacks into setups.
(03:58):
Right?
Setbacks into setups.
And that means set up for success.
When I picked that word, Ithought setups.
I wonder if you know, like acriminal, hey, I'm being set up.
That's not what I mean.
Setups that are good setupsfor you.
And often when we talk aboutthis, so.
So often people say, yeah,that's just a bunch of psycho babble.
(04:19):
We're just saying those things.
But it's not really true.
We're just trying to getourselves in a good mood.
Well, there's several parts tothat one that is true.
We choose our frame of mind.
And the reason it's importantto know that is because when you're
excited or I'm excited, I do better.
(04:42):
I'm more excited about things.
I'm more productive.
I'm more creative.
So are you.
You know that.
So imagine, I want you to gothink right now about the biggest
setback or something you thinkis a setback.
Loss of revenue, loss ofrelationship, loss of help or damage
(05:02):
in any one of those areas.
I was talking to somebody whoI interviewed not too long ago here
on the podcast, and they saidsomething had changed in the world,
something pretty significantand a place where they got, I think
they said 80% of their revenuesuddenly disappeared.
(05:23):
Imagine that.
Catastrophic for them.
It's interesting becausethat's not the only person.
About six months ago, I.
I talked to A person whowasn't a client, but that I knew
and that I had talked toperiodically over the years just
to keep connections going.
And a coach in a differentcity, a different area, same thing
(05:46):
about five months ago, becauseI think their feeling was that it
had something to do with theelection outcome.
So I live in Canada, but inthe US Donald Trump got elected and
that person blamed or thoughtthat Donald Trump's actions in terms
of either governmentefficiency or, you know, changing
(06:07):
something had caused asignificant loss of revenue for their
business.
Now, I don't know the causeand I didn't investigate it, but
what I know is 80% loss intheir business, also catastrophic,
unexpected.
And they were not prepared andthey weren't doing a bunch of railing
and screaming, but they werelike, hey, what do we do now?
So this is the subject of today.
(06:30):
How do we turn thosecatastrophes, how do we turn those
catastrophes into opportunities?
Now we have all kinds ofphrases that deal with that.
You've heard the story aboutthe little boy that's led into a
big barn and in the barnthere's a big pile of horse poop.
(06:51):
And the little boy, instead ofbeing grossed out, dives into the
horse poop and starts throwingit here and there.
And someone asks him, what areyou doing?
And he said, well, with allthis horse crap, I know there's got
to be a pony in here somewhere.
So that was a choice.
He responded to enthusiasmwith enthusiasm.
(07:12):
And we treat that as some kindof a joke.
But I think there's a littlemore to it than that.
Because what we know frommassive scientific research is that
the energy we fill our hearts,our souls, our minds with has a creative
power.
(07:33):
Now if you believed that, ifyou really, to the core believe that,
you'd guard your thoughts andyour feelings like mad.
Like you would if you knewthat thinking powerful and positive
expectant thoughts and takingaction consistent with those thoughts
(07:57):
would create the outcome you want.
If you knew that was true, youbelieved it and you knew it, you
would guard those thoughtslike crazy.
If on this, on the.
By the same token, if you knewthat having grumpy thoughts, negative,
self critical thoughts, I'mnot good enough, it won't work.
Who am I to do this?
Write a book or change myneighborhood, let alone the world.
(08:20):
If you knew that thinkingnegatively about that was going to
guarantee failure, you'd guardyour thoughts like crazy.
And we do that, even though wehave all read the books and seen
the studies that say, as a manor woman thinketh, so is he or she
(08:41):
like, we've heard that amillion times and said all kinds
of different ways.
Napoleon Hill, think and grow Rich.
Outwitting the devil.
Wallace Waddles, Science ofGetting Rich.
I mean, all of those books,methods, philosophies, talk about
that.
And yet we only half believe it.
(09:01):
Why?
Why do you only half believe it?
And if you disagree with me,you're free to, you know, reach out
to me and tell me you disagreeand you believe it fully.
And again, if you want to geta hold of me, there's the URL on
the screen.
Kellenflukermedia.com use thecontact form.
Tell me what you think.
(09:22):
I make that judgment about.
You don't believe it becauseof how you.
By and large, I'm not talkingto an individual here, but how we
act because we act as if wedon't believe it or we act as if
it's true for somebody.
I'm sure it's true.
Yeah, whatever.
But not for me.
(09:43):
And that's not true with respect.
That belief is not true withrespect to the negative side.
We believe that because we expect.
We express.
We say, my life's full of stuff.
Garbage just keeps happeningto me.
How come?
And then we don't stop tothink about how much we expect trouble.
(10:06):
We expect there's.
We expect things to go wrong.
And by that expectation, wecreate them.
That's an interesting way anda truthful way to look at this.
Yet if you knew, or I knew, ifwe knew that we were going to create
(10:28):
something terrible with ourthoughts, man, we'd guard them like
crazy.
But we don't.
Here's a challenge for you,and I hope it's fun and revealing
at the same time.
I want you to stop 10 or 12times today and think about your
internal dialogue.
What are you saying to yourself?
(10:48):
What are you believing about yourself?
If I were to hear the deepestinner voice of your heart, what would
I think?
What would I know was true?
About how much you loveyourself or believe in your future
or are exercising yourcreative power.
(11:12):
Now, there's a one way oflooking about, looking at this that
I really like.
Sometimes we act like we'resitting in a movie theater and there's
a projection on the screen.
And the projection on thescreen is.
(11:34):
Is our life.
It's the scenes of our life.
And we look at those scenesand react positively or negatively
to those scenes and think,that wasn't fair.
That wasn't good.
Oh, that was great.
And we act like we don't haveanything to do with what's going
on up in the projection booth.
(11:57):
Here's another way to thinkabout that.
What if you and I, what if weare the projector and what's on the
screen, meaning the scenes ofour life, is what we are projecting.
Now if you believe that, thenthe challenge is like I said 10 times,
(12:20):
just listen to your innerdialogue and see what you're really
projecting onto your life screen.
Because my experience is thatthat representation about being the
projector is extremely accurate.
What I think, what I believe,what I'm feeling, I'm projecting
(12:43):
that out through my eyes ontothe screen of life.
And sometimes we object tothat idea because there are so many
things that go on around usthat others do or say that we believe
that we have nothing to do with.
And, and undoubtedly there arethings that are beyond our control.
(13:05):
Weather and, you know, warsthat start here and there.
And we seem to be having aterrifyingly exceeding number of
those right now, with whoknows how many poor souls dying.
It just breaks my heart.
So we don't create that, butin the microcosm we do create our
(13:29):
lives.
We invite experiences that areconsistent with what we believe,
the energy that we project.
Now, I know this is not a newidea for you, but the challenge right
now is let's say you're havingthese setbacks.
(13:51):
Let's say instead of arguingwith me, you simply say, okay, maybe
the projections of mythinking, my belief are attracting
to me magnetically these neverthese negative experiences.
Instead of getting into anargument with me, some people say,
well, I didn't want to get sick.
I didn't.
(14:11):
Let's set that aside for aminute just for the sake of this
conversation.
Let's say you do.
You set that aside and yousay, okay, I'm projecting an energy
that invited this kind of experience.
I'm projecting a belief aboutmyself, about my future, about my
(14:32):
possibilities, about where I'm going.
That invited setbacks, thatinvited pushback from the universe
and from life.
Let's just for the sake ofargument go there.
What are our opportunities?
One opportunity is to argueand say, I didn't do anything.
(14:53):
It's just friggin not fair.
That's a legitimate point of view.
I don't think it's very productive.
Certainly hasn't been for me.
Another one is to just getcurious and say, what, what am I
saying in my private chambers?
Because usually that's theplace, what we say out loud.
If you're saying things outloud, denigrating or dissing yourself
(15:16):
or I suck, I'll never do thisif you're talking like that out loud,
you're already three layersinto this, okay?
And what I mean by that is, bythe time you say it out loud, you've
already said it inside andcountless times.
And on top of that, by sayingit inside, you're creating, excuse
(15:37):
me, the neurotransmitters of failure.
The neurotransmitters ofsadness, of frustration, of anxiety,
of depression.
You're creating that becauseof your internal dialogue.
So still going down the roadof, let's say that our energy attracts
these experiences from lifethat push back on us.
Let's just say that that'strue one way, and we talked about
(16:01):
one way, but another way tolook at that is, okay, we say sometimes,
well, everything happens for areason, and what doesn't kill you
makes.
Makes you stronger and so forth.
And so then we can take thepoint of view of, okay, this is here
so that I can develop moreresilience or be a better person
in some way consistent withthe particular trial.
(16:24):
And that is a better way thanto be angry and blaming.
But it isn't the most powerfulway because that, again, says, an
externality smashed itself inmy face and it's for my good, so
whatever.
And that usually isaccompanied by some resentment and,
(16:46):
okay, I'll tough it outthrough this.
Somehow.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
Okay, There's a even morepowerful way to respond to this,
and that is as a suggestion,that's this.
I can't make you do anything.
And I wouldn't even if I could.
And I'll tell you why in a minute.
(17:07):
A more, much more powerful wayis simply to say, okay, this happened,
whatever it is, IRS took allyour money, your partner left you,
you got sick.
I'm saying big things.
It can be small things.
Kid got in trouble at school,had a flat tire, late to work, got
fired, all kinds of different things.
And just ask this question.
(17:28):
What am I thinking?
Believing.
What kind of energy am I doingthat is drawing this kind of trial
or difficult experience in my life?
Am I boasting?
And so, you know, there was aforce needed to kind of make sure
I didn't explode my own importance.
(17:51):
Now, I don't know if there'ssomebody around keeping score, but
it seems like balance is a bigpart of the universal laws, the laws
of nature, equilibrium.
And so if we try to brag,we're very likely going to invite
some kind of negativeexperience to balance that.
(18:16):
So let's just play that game.
I challenge you for the nextfew Days, anything that happens that's
not what you want, that is,seems like a catastrophe or disaster,
little one or big one, Insteadof getting mad or instead of just
sort of being resigned, justsay, okay, that is.
And if you're really going forthe tough one, say, I'm grateful
(18:38):
that happened.
I love it.
I love the fact that my bankaccount's empty or that I'm sick
in the hospital right now.
It gives me time to think.
And then say, I wonder what Iam, what.
What I can make out of this.
What can I change that willpull me onto a life path, into a
(18:59):
life energy, into a.
Into a lifeline that doesn'thave this, where I'm able and energized
and motivated to add good tothe world and create good stuff.
So I challenge you to do that.
And I promise you, if you do,turning setbacks into setups for
good things is not difficult.
(19:19):
Now, I'm going to tell you alittle story about just exactly that.
Just last Christmas.
So it's.
I'm recording this in May of2025, and it's going to air in the
end of June or first part ofJuly, but I don't know when you're
going to see it.
But five months ago, justbefore Christmas, on a Saturday,
(19:42):
Friday, you know, Friday andSaturday that week, I started experiencing
really severe lightheadedness.
So I would sit down or stand up.
And I know if you stand up toofast, you get lightheaded.
I know all that.
I've lived a long time and hadthat kind of experience.
This was different and moreradical, more severe.
You know, it scared me.
(20:05):
And so it went on severaltimes that week.
And finally on Saturday, aboutfour or five times, I experienced
real lightheadedness.
And one time, even twiceactually, I passed out just momentarily.
And one time I found myself,when I woke up, slumped against the
wall.
And another time I sat in achair, and the act of even sitting
(20:26):
down caused this.
I, you know, came to with my head.
Well, and it wasn't very long,and I wasn't going to do anything
about it, but I told Joy, andshe said, are you nuts?
We're going to go to the, youknow, we're going to the ER to see
what's wrong with you.
That's not okay.
How many times has it happened today?
Oh, five.
(20:46):
Are you crazy?
We're going.
So we did.
And it was interesting becauseinstead of just dismissing me like
I thought, well, they'll justtake a look at it and see there's
nothing wrong.
And they'll tell me, you know,drink more, you're dehydrated or
you're something, something, something.
They didn't do that at all.
It was quite a while.
(21:07):
Two or three.
Yeah, four hours.
We went at 5 or 6 o' clock tothe ER and it was after midnight,
one or two in the morningbefore I was called in.
It was quite busy and I wasn'tan urgent case, meaning I wasn't
bleeding on the floor.
But by the time they got me inand looked at everything, they decided,
you know what.
Yeah, there's some here,something here to worry about.
(21:28):
So they kept me.
They wanted to do 24 hours of monitoring.
So they hooked me up to somegear and left me there for 24 hours
all through Sunday and intoMonday morning and, you know, took
heart readings and all thekind of stuff they do for that.
That sort of occurrence.
And here's the reason I saythat instead of.
(21:49):
And this is practicing what Iwas just talking about earlier, instead
of asking Joy to bring mesomething to read, or instead of
watching television, I decidednot to.
I didn't turn on the tv, Ididn't do anything.
I just decided to take thatsacred space of about 28 hours.
I slept some of it, but justto be with the Spirit, to sit with
(22:13):
God and to explore the veryquestions that I'm talking to you
about what is happening.
Because you know what mymission is?
My mission is to reach 300million people with the message.
And the message is, you aredivine, capable and anything is possible,
meaning you can create your life.
(22:35):
So I just decided to sit with that.
And it turned what could havebeen either an angering or frustrating
waste of time or somethingscary into a beautiful and glorious
experience where I was verynear to the Spirit.
I felt like the veil was very,very thin.
And I had a bunch ofexperiences that I'm not going to
(22:59):
tell the stories now becauseit doesn't matter.
But the point was, it was thechoice to simply love what is.
And to ask myself, what am I believing?
What kind of energy am Iliving in that would bring me up
short, slap upside the face.
(23:20):
And I had several clear piecesof direction.
About three or four things inmy life.
One was the pace that I wasliving at.
Two was maybe I wasn't quitepaying enough attention to the body.
And there were three or fourconcrete suggestions.
And so there were somebusiness things, some things with
joy, some things in my life,and I don't.
(23:42):
I would never have receivedthose if I had been either frustrated
or angry or resigned.
It was because I leaned rightin and said, okay, let's, let's,
let's just sit here with this.
So I share that experience,not to say anything about me, but
to give you a firsthandpersonal example of something that
(24:04):
could have been scary.
Instead, I turned it into aninquiry, and it turned out to be
glorious and beautiful.
So the point of today, I wantto make several points here for you
to take this away.
Setbacks into setups.
That was an example for me.
(24:25):
List three or four setbacksright now that you have had in the
last day or week or month.
Maybe your day's packed andyou've had three or four in the last
three hours.
I don't know.
But list them.
List them and ask yourself,what is the gift in each one?
What is the gift in here?
What is the possible gift?
(24:47):
Because it's always availablefor you or me to get beat down, to
lay on the ground and say, I quit.
I'm done.
It's not fair.
I've had the crap kicked outof me.
I've been busting my butt,trying really hard.
It never works.
And we've all used that lineof reasoning, and we know where it
goes, too.
Never fixes anything.
(25:10):
Instead, ask, what's the gift here?
What can I do right now todevelop patience?
And patience is not doing nothing.
Patience is not resignation.
Patience is not binging Netflix.
Patience is leaning injoyously and exploring the opportunity.
(25:31):
See, when unexpected thingshappen, we tend to get frustrated
and mad that the laws ofnature and the will, God and the
actions of others didn't lineup with our.
Our chosen view of theuniverse, our chosen flow for this
day or this week or this month.
Well, one of the things wesaid earlier is maybe things are
(25:52):
there's a possible growth opportunity.
I can't find that growthopportunity if I don't fall in love
with what is what if we sayinstead, These setbacks, as it were,
are not even setbacks.
They're opportunities to learnto love myself more.
(26:12):
They're opportunities toexplore my own level of resilience.
Now, we've all seen themovies, read the books about people
in difficult circumstances,starvation and wartime, and marveled
at their resilience, thattheir willingness and determination
to keep moving forward.
(26:34):
And sometimes we say, well,they had no choice.
Yeah, they did.
Yeah, you do.
Every single time.
So I told you we were doingfour parts about going from stuck
to soaring.
And this is the third one.
The first one was the hiddencost of settling why being good enough
(26:54):
quote is holding you back.
And the second one Was last episode.
The power of choice,reclaiming your agency, the sacred
nature of agency.
And this one is buildingresilience, turning these setbacks
into setups.
Now, in order for this to dogood for me, at least, I have to
not play games with it.
(27:15):
If I go, well, I guess there'ssupposed to be something good in
here somewhere, so I'll justfreaking pretend and do whatever
and see what I can find.
When I've done that oranything like it.
It hasn't really producedanything for me.
When I lay down my insistencethat the laws of nature work according
to my yearning, when I quitfighting with reality and I simply
(27:38):
lean in and say, this spirit,having a human experience, what can
I make out of this?
Every single time I've donethat sincerely and with real desire,
it has been amazing.
It has changed the game in asignificant way.
And, you know, it's kind oflike the word breakthrough.
(28:00):
When someone says to me, howto breakthrough?
How to breakthrough?
When they've said that 50 or60 or 100 times, I used to find myself
wondering, oh, come on, howmany breakthroughs is it going to
take?
What are you breaking throughtissue paper?
When are we going to get there?
I no longer think that anymore.
Because any sudden or gradual,but usually sudden insight where
(28:23):
you realize you've beenlooking at life, your growth, your
capability a certain way, andthen you realize, holy cow, there's
another mountaintop, There's adifferent way to look at this.
There's a whole differentthing I wasn't seeing.
Anytime we do that, it's so exhilarating.
It's so exciting.
It's so much fun.
(28:43):
Now, here's some things I knowabout you and some invitations for
you.
I know that you're a divine being.
I know that you havecapability and power.
I also know that you have ayearning to add good to the world.
By add good to the world, Isimply mean live your life in a conscious,
intentional way.
(29:04):
To be kind, to be of service,to lift, to love, to bless, like
we are here.
To love and serve each other.
Making a billion dollars orgetting greedy or having the biggest
house or the best cars orwhatever, Those are fun, but they're
not our purpose.
That's really obvious, becausehow many people do you know that
(29:24):
have all the material thingsthey want and they're still not happy?
They still have the emptinessand still yearning and looking?
Well, I know a boatload.
I used to be one.
You probably do, too.
How many people do you knoware living in the shadow of their
dreams?
And what I Mean by that isthey have this year, maybe you, a
yearning to have more, to bemore, to make a difference.
(29:48):
And yet when you look at yourcalendar and you look at your energy
and you look at where youspend your time, your energy, your
love, your focus, your cash,it doesn't line up with those lofty
goals.
I often hear from potentialclient or someone I'm talking to
about a lofty or powerfulthing they really want to do.
(30:10):
And I'll ask the question,well, how bad do you want that?
Oh, I'll do anything.
Okay.
Really?
Yeah, I'll do whatever I have to.
And so then we start exploringthings that are going on, either
attitudes or behaviors orhabits that are in their lives that
are absolutely and obviouslyin the way.
And quite often there is asort of rejection of that.
(30:33):
Well, I didn't know I had tochange that.
And so what we're reallysaying is I want everything that
I want to somehow be deliveredwith a magic wand and in an instant.
Life was built to build us.
Life is created to give us theopportunity to grow.
(30:55):
The cool thing is that nobodycan force you to grow, or me.
Nobody can force you todevelop your talents.
Nobody can force you to lookat every setback as a beautiful opportunity.
Nobody can force you to do that.
And the other side of thatcoin is no one can prevent you from
(31:15):
that joyful experience.
I promise you a couple of things.
When you lean in and make thevery most of everything that happens,
I don't know why this happened.
It's not what I was lookingfor, but I'm gonna find a pony in
here.
Every time you do that, yourheart is lighter, your creativity
goes up and you feel reallygood about yourself.
(31:35):
You get hits of dopamine andserotonin and all the rest.
Because creativity is fun.
Exploring is fun.
Curiosity is fun.
Curiosity is the seed of passion.
Curiosity is the seed.
Passion is the fruit.
(31:56):
So many of us at maybe all ourlives are at different times.
We want everything to bequick, instantaneous.
Yeah, I've had a setback andsomebody come and take it away.
It is in the doing that we learn.
It is in the activity that weget better.
I use a silly example all thetime, but if I watch a YouTube video
(32:19):
of someone that's in shapedoing 100 push ups and I watch it
50 times, I don't getstronger, do I?
And we live in a world wherewe think that everything digital
should be quick and easy.
And it's not real growth,never was.
And by living in this world ofnot being Resilient.
(32:40):
We're losing the ability.
We're losing the ability tobuild, to push through, to develop.
We're developing the abilityto complain, to grumble to right
and to moan at everything andeverybody else.
We're developing that to ahigh level of skill.
All you have to do is watchthe tv, look at social media and
talk about politics and you'llsee no matter which side you're on,
(33:03):
we're building great facilityin arguing and smashing and degrading
and everything else.
How about if we return to theability to be resilient, the return
to the ability to be selfsufficient, to stop looking for some
cavalry coming over the hilland instead look inside and say,
what is my capability?
(33:25):
What One step.
Now I'm going to give you somestrategies to do this in everyday
life because it's easy to talkabout stuff at 30,000 or 50,000ft.
Here's how you implement this.
Every time you find yourselffrustrated or angry, stop and ask,
why am I frustrated or angry?
(33:46):
And if the sentence startsbecause they or because that and
it's outside of you, that's atrigger that says you're externalizing
and blaming or I am andthere's, excuse me, there's an opportunity
to say, well, this is what it is.
What can I create here?
And smile.
What can I create here?
Well, you won't even knowuntil you explore that.
(34:07):
So that is a daily activity.
Every single time you feelfrustrated, negative, ignored, pushed
down, unfairly treated orwhatever, instead of responding,
you know, reacting to it andyelling and blaming and sulking or
whatever it is, simply say,okay, this is not what I wanted.
(34:28):
What can I create here?
If you'll take that challengeseriously, I promise it will change
your life all by itself.
Another strategy forcultivating resilience is make a
choice to follow Einstein's advice.
One of the things he said isthere's two ways to look at life.
(34:50):
One is that nothing's amiracle, and two, that everything
is.
I found personally thatchoosing to view everything as a
miracle, amazing that couldhappen, is really powerful.
It keeps me in a good mood, itkeeps me creating, and it keeps me
in wonder and awe at you, eachone of you.
(35:10):
I choose every time I talk tosomeone to look at them as an amazing
divine being and to just seewhat beauty and power there is and
have our conversation fromthat point of amazingness and power
instead of what can I get outof them or I'm bored and I'm multitasking
(35:33):
or any other sort of energeticstate that's 50 miles below, wonder
and amazement.
Now, here's the invitations.
First of all, accept my love.
I love you.
If there's something I can doto serve you, to lift you, to help
you, let me know.
(35:54):
I cannot read minds, but Iwould love to be of service if you
want to get a hold of me.
Thekellenfluekeggermedia.comcontact form is the way to do that.
The second invitation is likethat one, and that is if you have
a story to tell.
I love having people on theshow here to share your message of
(36:15):
resilience and growth and overcoming.
And believe me, in theinterviews I've done, I've seen some
staggering things that blew mymind and left me jaw dropping with
the.
The courage of some of thepeople that I've had the blessing
of talking to.
Maybe you're one of them.
(36:36):
I would love to do that.
If you want my help withanything, that's all I do.
My mission now is to reach 300million people with the message of
your divinity and thereforecapability, possibility.
Your circumstances don'tdefine you.
What's happened to you doesn'tdefine you.
Your past doesn't define you.
(36:58):
Those are all things that have happened.
And you have the choice righthere, right now to go do and be whatever
you want.
That's the beauty.
The past is in the past.
And I don't mean we can ignore it.
Sometimes there's crap we haveto clean up, especially if there's
big things, but it's all clean up.
(37:19):
I know that's not a word, so Iencourage you.
Number one, accept my love.
Two, if you want to be here onthe show or share something with
me, you're invited.
Number three, if I can shareyour message, I'll be happy to do
that.
And if you want my help withanything, do the other URL here on
the screen.
Www.dreambuildrite.
(37:41):
it's.com is a challenge thatI'm holding periodically, two or
three times a year to help youtell your story, write a book.
I found that there's nothingmore powerful than the work it takes
to organize what you'velearned, the choices that you've
made to get where you are,which is brilliant and wonderful,
(38:02):
even if you don't think so.
Doing that work, there'snothing like it, nothing substitutes
for it.
I know some things because I'mliving them every day, that if you
take that, take theopportunity to look at life through
the lens of resilience, you'llbe happier, you'll be more creative,
(38:23):
you'll be more productive andyou'll be able to make great progress
in creating your ultimate life.
Never hold back.
And you'll never hold.
Open your heart.
And this time around, righthere, right now, your opportunity
for massive growth is right infront of you.
(38:45):
Every episode gives youpractical tips and practices that
will change everything.
If you want to know more, goto kellenflueckegermedia.com if you
want more free tools, go here.
YourUltimateLife CA Subscribe Share.
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