November 7, 2025 • 38 mins
As AI transforms how we live and communicate, it’s easy to forget what truly connects us. In this deeply human episode, Kellan Fluckiger reminds us that no matter how advanced technology becomes — we’re still looking at the same moon.
This is not a conversation about fear or machines — it’s a reflection on what it means to stay human, to love, to listen, and to remember that our shared essence will always outshine any algorithm.
Important Topics Discussed:
- The Shared Sky: How the moon symbolizes our unbreakable connection beyond distance or data
- AI and Empathy: Can machines mirror emotion — or only mimic it?
- Presence in the Digital Age: The forgotten art of being fully human while everything becomes automated
- The Heart of Coaching: Why transformation requires lived truth, not programmed responses
- Love as Intelligence: The one code AI will never write
🔥 Ready to turn your truth into impact?
Join the Dream • Build • Write It Webinar — where bold creators transform ideas into movements.
👉 Reserve your free seat now at dreambuildwriteit.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to the show. Tired ofthe hype about living a dream? It's
time for truth. This is theplace for tools, power and real talk
so you can create the life youdream and deserve your ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create. Youhave infinite power. Hello and welcome
(00:29):
to this episode of yourultimate life. I've been doing a
lot of episodes about coachingand to me, achieving a life of purpose,
prosperity and joy has a lotto do with the practice of coaching.
Not because I'm a coach, butbecause I've discovered in my own
(00:52):
life that it's a big deal.Like I could not get to where I am
without help. And I use theword coaching as a catch all. But
for me, in the journey thatI've had since 2007, which is when
some dramatic things happenedin my life to change everything.
(01:12):
I've used counselors, I'veused rehab centers, I've used more
counselors and a lot ofcoaching from, from different kinds
of coaches. And I still havecoaches today. And it isn't just
because I'm a coach, because Ithink, you know, I think a person
who's trying to make a livingor trying to make a difference in
(01:33):
the world as a coach, youknow, being in the people encouragement
business or the people lovingor uplifting or showing a new vista
business, you know, that kindof thing, I think people like that,
that don't have a coach or,you know, sometimes they say they're
a fraud and I don't mean thatthey're insincere. I mean they're
(01:55):
not taking their position ortheir opportunity seriously because
I play the piano and I havesince I was young, maybe five or
so, and my first lessons werefrom my mom and those were all the
way through high school.Eventually I had later in my adult
years some lessons from aprofessional pianist. But my point
(02:19):
is, if I want to get betterslow, then I can learn how to practice
and I can get a little bitbetter on my own. And I did that
for many years. Now, inhindsight, I realized that not hiring,
not going to a high end pianoteacher straight up limited my piano
(02:43):
growth. I play, I play well. Iplay classical and jazz, improv and
stuff, but I don't play like Icould if I had spent the effort and
energy intentionally hiring afabulous piano teacher or a series
of them and then spent moretime. Now there was a period of time
where I spent, you know, thetraditional four hours a day on the
(03:05):
bench, not six, but four hoursa day. And during that time I got
better, but I didn't know whatI didn't know. And so even though
I looked stuff up and I wasdoing exercises and, you know, Hennon
and all the kinds of thingsthat, you know, everybody knows who
plays the piano, you know,Chopin etudes and so forth, I didn't
(03:28):
make the kind of progress Icould. So I don't feel sad about
that. I did lots of things inmy life that's fine. And I play really
well now. Okay. But I noticethe difference. So here's a question
for you. Is life really likeyou want it? If it is, you're done,
you're happy, move forwardexactly like you're doing, and add
(03:50):
good to the world in every wayyou can. What I noticed about my
life and about lots of folksthat I talk to is there's this underlying
yearning, a yearning to dogood, a yearning to do more, a yearning
to make a meaningfulcontribution. We can say that lots
of different ways. I want tomake a difference, I want to help
people. I want to add good tothe world, right? And when I question
(04:11):
them further or ask a littlemore, it's like, you know, they want
to do it a certain way. I wantto get rid of hunger or literacy
or help people in arelationship situations or with divorce
or whatever. I hear that allthe time. And there's 2100, not 2100
different ways to describethat. Two things are true. One is
almost always 99.9% of thetime, the choice that they have about
(04:36):
what they want to do to helpcomes from their own life experience.
In other words, they wentthrough a difficult thing. Financial
bankruptcies or difficultstuff. I just interviewed a lady
for my podcast whose episodewill be coming out not too many days
after or before this one righthere. And that's with her description.
Her and her husband gotsmashed in the dot com bust of 2001.
(05:01):
I know it's 25 and that's along time ago. And they got. Then
they picked themselves up andfigured out more financial strategies
and they chose real estate.And of course, when 2008 came around,
they got smashed again becausethey didn't know what they didn't
know, even though they hadfollowed, you know, some people,
they weren't prepared. Andthey stayed struggling for some time.
(05:25):
And now they've discovered anew and get. The operative word is
they discovered. And thereason they discovered it is they
went places, went to seminars,read books, guess what, bought programs,
got coaching so that theycould not only recover from the disaster,
but thrive. And now, always100 of the time, I want to help others,
(05:49):
man. I want to help people.And I don't know exactly the system
that they have, but point ofthe podcast wasn't marketing for
them in terms of that system.There's websites that I gave or that
they she gave or you can lookit up if that matters to you. But
universally struggle recoveryservice. So I'm asking you right
(06:12):
now, what is your strugglerecovery service. Now that's everybody
feels that who's gone throughsome kind of struggle, who's who's
made a recovery and then theyfeel like, wow, I'm doing okay now.
I want to help, I want to giveback, add good to the world. There's
a special group of people andthose are who those who say I want
to be in the it's calling itcoaching business. Sometimes I call
(06:34):
it the people encouragementbusiness. Although it's more than
that. It is making a choice tobe available in a powerful, loving,
service oriented way that mostpeople don't do. Now, I'm not saying
most people don't help others,they do. But in coaching, my discovery
is for me, it's a choice to beon the beam of service all the time,
(06:59):
be on the beam of love, holdno grudges, forgive everyone everything.
And I know that soundsdifficult or crazy, and it was to
start with, but I find thatwhen I don't live that way, I don't
have real power to coachpeople powerfully. I have power to
coach them half baked. And Isee that as universally true. When
I talk to different coachesand I talk to a lot, you know, I'm
(07:22):
doing these podcasts onThursday. The Thursday episode, starting
September 25th, is aboutcoaching and the rise of AI, which
is a book that's coming out onthe 23rd of October. And if you see
this after that, it's alreadyout. And it's about the gigantic
disruption that's going tohappen in the coaching industry.
That disruption is giving riseto a series of five episodes, actually
(07:50):
10, that I'm going to do overthe next several weeks because they're
not going to be all in a row.I have guests in between. And then
I have the special episodes onThursday where I'm interviewing coaches
specifically about AI. Buthere's the arc of the first five
of those episodes. I want totalk about what real coaching is
(08:12):
and what they all have incommon. And to me, that's more important
now than ever. And I'll tellyou why. Because coaching is radically
changing. The act of being acoach. Up to now, people identified
as a coach, action coach, OrJohn Maxwell coach or three principles
(08:32):
coach or NLP coach or alandmark, you know, coach. And they
would list a system, somaticcoach. And they would list a system
that they had learned andmaybe more than one, along with one
or two or three modalities,you know, meditation or stuff in
(08:53):
the body, focusing on traumahealing and stuff like that. And
they would rely on thosesystems as their tool belt. Okay.
And maybe they're trained intwo or three different modalities
and so they come with a morerobust tool belt. And for many years
that was, that was kind ofokay. And I say kind of because the
(09:15):
coaching industry has been introuble for a long time. It's been
limping along. Right. My righttoday forgetting AI pre AI, 55% of
coaches couldn't make 50k US ayear. Well, that's, you know, not
really enough to get by inlife. Right. And so you either have
(09:36):
to have a second job or be ina two income household. And on top
of that, most coaches incomegoes up and down. You know, oh, I
got some clients. Oh they're,I got clients ending, I got to go
out and prospect. And they,you know, hate the prospecting part.
That feeling may be true ifyou do other things where you got
to go find clients, financialservices, insurance salesmen, car
(09:58):
salesmen, mortgage brokers. Imean there's all kinds of professions
where you got to go findclients and coaching is just one
of them. But coaching I findis particularly difficult. And here's
the reason. People who've gonethrough struggles want to help people
and then decide they couldmake a difference. Not just a little,
(10:19):
but a lot. And they want tobecome coaches. Struggle more than
anyone I know with impostersyndrome. Not good enough. Doubt,
fear, self sabotage and allthat list of stuff. And then they
go get some training orwhatever to overcome that. But they
don't really do a very goodjob of actually overcoming it internally.
(10:41):
They, they sit at a place ofstruggle. And if they have a good
coach and they're engaged in agood coaching container, then they
make some progress. But theproblem is real good coaches are
more expensive and if you'remaking 50k or less, it's hard to
afford a really good coach. Soyou're sitting in this loop of I
(11:02):
can't pay for it and I can'tmake fast enough progress without
it. And you know that drill,right? It's like trying to build
a business. The myth that Ihave to spend money in order to make
money. And when I make somemore money, then I'll have some money
to spend on advertising andmarketing and Google Ads, Facebook
ads, LinkedIn ads, whatever,right? And it always seems like there's
(11:22):
no way out. Well, there is.There is. And over the next five
weeks, five episodes, it'sgoing to be episode 10, 33, 36, 39,
42 and 45. Every thirdepisode, I'm going to talk about
this evolution and what'srequired of coaching because it's
going to change. It's nolonger going to be, okay, well, I'm
(11:46):
a somatic coach. I'm an NLPcoach. None of that's going to matter.
And it's because AI is goingto get rid of all that distinction.
The LLMs, large languagemodels. Doesn't matter which one
you use most experience withChatGPT, but they're going to get
rid of that. Not that thosetools aren't valuable, but they're
(12:10):
going to be able to use thembetter than you do. And so then you
have to ask yourself, what isleft for me? What's left for me?
And the first question is, Iwant to, I want to ask you. Is coaching
schools up to now, excuse me,argue with each other about methodologies?
(12:31):
The ICF methodology is anotherbig one. Supposed to be, you know,
completely hands off. Younever give advice. The, the theory
is the client always has theirown wisdom. You ask directional questions
to get them to, quote,discover that wisdom. And you know,
that is another methodologythat, like the others I named, all
that kind of stuff isn't goingto matter anymore. And so here's
(12:53):
a funny question. Why do somany coaching schools fight over
words when we're all lookingat the same moon? There's the moon.
It gives light to the earth atnight in different phases. And yet
we struggle. The coachingworld has struggled and argued over
(13:13):
the right words to describethat light. And that's one of the
reasons there's been so muchfailure in the coaching profession
to start with. And it's goingto get a thousand times worse because
AI models are getting so good.I've seen several. I have seen models
built by coaches already thatwill blow most other this middle
(13:36):
tier of coaches out of thewater. So what's authentic, what
is real? And that's what Iwant to talk about. What has to progress
over time in order to, to stayin this game. Now, if you're a coach
and you want to stay in thegame, you need to pay attention.
First thing you need to do.And yeah, this is a pitch, you need
(13:56):
to go get coaching. And therise of AI, it's on Amazon. And you
need to get it. I've did adeep analysis of 11 different coaching
methodologies and analyzetheir vulnerability, how good they
are at getting people totheir, you know, purported goal line
and letting helping peopleaccomplish the things they want.
People don't hire a coachbecause they want a coach. People
(14:19):
hire a coach because they wantto fix a relationship or make more
money or be happier in theirown skin or quit sabotaging themselves
or get over fear in public orof presentations or of stage fright
or speaking or a combinationof all those things. And me, I was
stuck in decades ofdepression, self loathing. And so
(14:39):
when I went first to therapyand then to coaching, I needed to
get rid of that. I needed toget to a place where I trusted myself.
I have confidence in my voice,my principles, my learnings and my
knowing. And I have. Andthat's how come I know how powerful
this is and what a giganticdifference it makes. It's made a
huge difference in my life. Sohere's, here's the thing. Every.
(15:03):
And this goes right in withwhat do coaches need to do? And this
is a question I'm asking allthe coaches that show up on the Thursday
episodes. What do coaches needto do different to save their skins?
And by extension, if you'renot a coach, this episode is not.
Well, I blow this off becauseit's for coaches. No, it's not. If
(15:25):
you're thinking about gettingthe help you need to live your ultimate
life. And these questions arereally important for you too because
it's going to be reallytempting to think, well, I got all
these AI coaching models. I'lljust buy one for $97 a month and
I'm all good, right? No, the$97 a month or 197 or 2 $97 a month,
(15:45):
$297 a month coaching models.And they're already showing up. I've
seen some, several. They'regood and they're fabulous and they're,
they're scary good as far asthey go. And they will deal with
superficial and medium levelbarriers, blocks and difficulties.
Okay, now this is for bothcoaches and those who want to make
(16:06):
great strides in personalgrowth. And every coach better have
their hand up. And that's whatI'm saying. If every coach isn't
like, I need to make greatstrides, then you're not going to
stay in business becausestaying afloat is not an option.
Keeping going like we used tois not an option. The skill of the
(16:29):
programmers and these LLMs toeven simulate emotion and feel Authentic
and powerful is off thecharts. I know because I experienced
some of that as I was writingthe book. I was talking to one of
the guys that I interviewed onthe Thursday podcast, and he was
telling me that he used one ofthose models, and it brought him
to tears. He was emotional.The connection was so powerful. And
(16:51):
so immediately he. He said tohimself, wow, if this can do that,
what's left? And the answeris, there's a lot left. And the answer,
the thought. For you guys thatare not coaches but are looking for
rapid and powerful growth, youneed to look for these things. It's
not about the model. It's notabout the words. It's not about the
(17:12):
frameworks. There is anillusion of difference, landmark
distinctions, and threeprincipal insights. Spiritual direction.
They're all different dialectsof the same language. Okay. It is
the ego's need todifferentiate versus the spirit's
(17:34):
hunger for resonance. Now, ifyou're looking to grow, okay, then
go get a coach. And here's howyou tell if they're good. When you're
in their presence, do you feelabsolutely elevated, seen powerful,
(17:54):
like they are listening toyou, like you're the only being on
earth? Does your capabilityindex, does it soar without even
any words, just being in theirpresence? And if that's not true,
go find a different one. Andcoaches who hear this, you're going
(18:14):
to get pissed off because Isay that. But that's the ante, you
and me, and I'm including mein that we have to do the work on
ourselves every day, the workof growth that we're trying to help
clients do we have to do thatwork every day so much that we stand
(18:34):
in power all the time, that itis the essence of our being. The
guy that I mentioned earlierwho moved to a different city, and
he's going to. He's a coach,and he was talking about how he's
creating or starting to createclients in the new place. And he
is a powerful coach. And sohe's just going to meet business
(18:59):
owners. Where would they be?Chambers of commerce, entrepreneur
meetups, you know, those kindof things. And getting in conversation,
not saying, hey, I'm a coach.Do you need help? But being that
presence of loving, listeningand powerful connection. So there's
two points here. One, ifyou're a coach, you have to develop
(19:19):
that, and if you don't, you'redead. Two, if you're looking for
the. To make the best out ofyour life, if you're tired of settling,
if you've climbed the wall ofSuccess. And then you way up the
ladder, and you're in the Csuite and you're making 1, 2, 3,
500,000, a million dollars ayear, and you're not happy. Like,
(19:42):
you're not ecstatic. Jumpingup and down. You love your life.
You love everything about it.Then you have to ask yourself, why
not? And you have to go getthe help to find out what's missing,
because something is missing.You deserve to be. You can be living
the ultimate life. I know thatbecause I live that. And there are
(20:04):
specific things that you canlearn to do, to live in purpose,
prosperity, and joy every dayto where you feel like you're connected
to a purpose. And it'sinteresting when I talk to people,
and I talk to them a lot, whoare successful entrepreneurs. And
now they found a. They found apurpose, right? They found a thing
(20:26):
they want to do. And when theydescribe what they're about as an
entrepreneur, I know rightnow, coach and an entrepreneur, he's
in Australia, and he's createdthis group of 12 people. They're
each very influential. And theproject they're working on is to
infuse the principle of lovein every vertical. Like in business,
(20:53):
in government, in finance,like to stop treating it like this
squishy craps outside. Andthey're going at it. And these 12
powerful people have formed anonprofit. They're building a retreat
center in the Himalayas, ofcourse, of all places, right? And
so they're about this. I knowanother fellow who has a successful
(21:15):
business, and his yearning isto help young men, you know, feel
better about themselves andhave more options than he did. And
he's well underway creatingthat thing. Now, those are two examples
of people who have overcometheir own difficulties because both
(21:35):
their stories are amazing.They have then become successful.
They have felt that yearning.I want to give back. That you might
be feeling, I know you'refeeling. If you're one of those people
that's overcome struggle andyou've created success, you are feeling
the yearning to give back. And80% of you haven't decided what that
(21:55):
looks like yet. 80% of you arelike, you know, I really want to
do something that matters. Iwant to create a difference in the
world. I don't know how to doit yet. I don't know what my mission
is. What's my purpose here.That's the key. Finding that is not
difficult. There is astructured process to do that. If
(22:17):
you'd like help finding yourmission, finding your divine purpose,
your gifts, the thing you areborn to do, reach out. There's a
URL right here at the bottom.Kellenflukermedia.com and there's
a contact form there. And Ican help you do that. The reason
I can is because I developed aprocess to do that first for myself
(22:39):
and then for others. And soyou, you deserve to have a good cause,
a powerful motivator. And letme tell you, when you have that.
Ooh. Like, you wake up excitedevery day. You're focused, you're
stoked, you're ready to roll.So I want to go back now to what
(23:01):
we were talking about to startwith, when I said coaching, schools
have, up to now, argued aboutsemantics, about different approaches.
This way is better, that way'sbetter, and I have more power than
you do. And all that argumentis is going to be like people arguing
(23:21):
whose fault it was that thedam broke when they're staring at
the wall of water. Like you'veall seen a tsunami disaster movie.
Right when the wall of water'scoming, everybody's better be just
heading for high ground. Anytime spent pointing fingers or arguing
about how come we didn't knowearlier or what caused this just
(23:44):
assures that more people aregoing to get killed or hurt. That's
what's going on. If we stilltalk about these meaningless differences
in coaching, what matters isauthenticity, your own development,
that you're powerfully workingon it all the time, every single
day, and that you're willingto make the sacrifices required to
(24:05):
stay ahead on the mountain ofgrowth. Like, if I hire a coach,
they. They need to be furtherthan I am so they can help me up.
They need to be more diligent,more focused, have more experience
in the difficulties of growth.Not cooler tools. I like tools, okay?
I read people's posts and Imake notes, and I get to edit people's
(24:29):
books. One of the fun thingsabout my job, my business, is I help
people write books. And inthat process, I get to edit them.
And every single book that Iedit is a joy because I learned things.
And most of the people writingbooks are writing them about their
own journey, their ownstruggles they're overcoming, and
how they would help peoplewith the things they've learned.
(24:52):
And so they present them inthese books and I get to edit them.
And I've learned all kinds ofstuff. And there's several coming
out right now. One's calledthe Renewable you by Kayleigh Williams.
One's called Masters ofBadassery by Martha Kachavska. And
read I'm sorry, Wade Reed haswritten one. And there's some more,
(25:15):
and I'm not remembering alltheir names right now, but point
is, everybody who has thatstory of overcoming and then desire
to serve, one of the waysthey're doing it is writing a book
and figuring out how to teach.And that's another quote, methodology,
and what I've told all myauthors and myself, because I'm just
(25:37):
finishing the book to Coachingin The Rise of AI be out on October
23, which is probably in thepast when you hear this, that those
methodologies won't matterunless you and I as a coach are a
product of the product. Now,if you're not a coach and you want
to make the kind of growththat's available through coaching,
(25:59):
and your goal is to become aproduct of that innate presence and
power that comes to your coachwhen they're constantly working.
And if you have somebody thatdoesn't inspire you like that, fire
them. They're not doinganything. They're going to be washed
out to sea in the tsunami ofAI possibilities. All right, so the
(26:25):
next thing that I want to talkabout in this context is I was a
consultant for a long time,and a consultant is supposed to know
answers. You got to know theanswer and give people the answers.
You better be right. And youget to charge a lot because you're
supposed to know stuff. Or youdo the research and figure it out.
(26:46):
Coaching is completelydifferent. In the beginning, I didn't
understand the differencebetween coaching and teaching. And
I'll tell you what it is.Teaching is just that I'm explaining
to you something you need toknow to solve a situation that you're
in. Coaching is getting in thetrenches and being with you energetically
(27:08):
so that you make the changesthat are necessary to do that, accomplish
the thing that you havelearned. So you might learn, I need
to write better copy, becausebetter sales letters, conversations,
better for my sales calls. Youmight know that and then go learn
it and still be held backbecause you are afraid of rejection.
(27:32):
And so you don't make thephone calls you need to or send the
dms, or if you do, it's timidand small, well, how effective is
that? How do you. How do youlike it? Or I like it when someone
approaches us that doesn'tfeel certain about what they've got,
the features, advantages,benefits, you know why it matters.
(27:56):
We're like, I don't have timefor this. Go away. And so whether
you're looking to growyourself or you're looking to help
others grow, the process isthe same. It's Just that if you want
to be a coach, you better beway further ahead. You better be
way further ahead because youcan't reach back or down and help
(28:17):
somebody up if you're notconstantly moving up the mountain.
All right, remember, like Isaid, consulting, teaching, the same
thing. It's about sharinginformation, knowledge. Coaching
is about helping someone makethe internal and external changes
(28:37):
until they become habitual,and then they can apply that, learning
that, apply that knowledge.When you look at sports, you know
the great coaches that areheld in high esteem. You know the
name, college footballcoaches, basketball coaches. I'm
not going to say their namesbecause I'm going to screw it up.
(28:59):
I know Vince Lombardi and theguy that coached the Chicago Bulls
and the several collegecoaches. They were so good, not because
of their skill at basketball,but their skill at people. And that
isn't about teaching. That'sabout who you're being. So I invite
(29:20):
you to consider whether, evenif you're not a coach, let's say
you're leading your team. Thishas to do with leadership. Also,
if you're leading your teamwith love and encouragement, or you're
coaching your clients withlove and encouragement, that's going
to be way more powerful, lastway longer, and create much more
progress than just teaching.Telling them what to do, telling
(29:44):
someone what to do is going tolast a short period of time. And
as soon as it becomesdifficult, as soon as fear is involved,
as soon as the first round ortwo of failure or uncertainty comes,
all of your work will beundone. Now, one of the things that's
difficult, whether you'remaking growth for yourself or you're
(30:05):
a coach trying to helpclients, is ego. When ego is running
the show, you're dead. Nobodyresponds well to ego. And it's really
obvious. So an example is ifI'm trying to get a client, and it
doesn't matter if it's acoaching client or an insurance client,
if I show up in theconversation in a way that says,
(30:28):
oh, I need this client, pleasebuy my stuff, what can I say to make
you see how valuable this is?Please buy my stuff. You know, we
want to puke and can't wait toend the conversation. If you're selling
insurance and I sit with youand you ask me really good questions,
and I can tell that you'relistening and really concerned about
(30:49):
what I want in a year, 2, 5,10 for myself, for my kids, for potential
death benefits, forretirement. And. And I know that
you're powerfully listening byhow you're showing me and listening
and by how you build whateverit is that you have to offer. I'm
way more likely to trust youand to dig in to the possibility
(31:12):
of us working together. Thatsame thing is true if you're trying
to help somebody throughcoaching instead of life insurance.
Okay. And when you have egoget in the way, Ego needs to be right.
Ego needs to not makemistakes. I know. I lived there for
(31:34):
decades. I needed to be right.I needed not to be embarrassed. It
went to great lengths to dothat, and that shows up in a lot
of places. So I want you tothink about this both from the perspective
of. Of personal growth foryourself and as a coach. Okay? Now,
you and I, we. We sit at anunprecedented time in history. It
(32:01):
used to be difficult for us toget information and knowledge 100
years ago. Then libraries camealong where books were put together
and wow. We could go to thelibrary. Wow. And check out books.
And suddenly the knowledge ofthe world became available, and all
(32:23):
I had to do was go to thelibrary, and then I had to read the
book and study a little bit.Some time went by, and then we created
the Internet. And the Internethas developed and so forth, and it's
full of good stuff andgarbage, but the Internet now brought
the library to my living room.And, you know, I. I don't know about
(32:45):
you, but I was a kid, I usedto go to the library, and I would
look up a book, and my librarydidn't have it. Maybe somewhere else
in the city had it, or maybethe city didn't even have it. And
sometimes libraries borrowedand so forth, and so you had to wait
and all that kind of stuff.The Internet got rid of all that.
You can have every book allthe time, right here, right now.
I don't care what it is. Youcan be reading it tonight and learning.
(33:08):
And so that shortened thatlearning time. Now AI has come, and
it's shortened expertise, theability to assimilate, to read all
that stuff, gather it up,assimilate what makes sense, give
you really good opinions, andget you somewhere into a place of
knowledge way faster. Nothingshowed that more powerfully than
(33:30):
the last two years of myhealth experience. I've had different
health challenges, and whatthey were doesn't matter. But Joy
has been really diligent aboutusing ChatGPT to look stuff up and
integrate it with what we talkto the doctors about. And it's been
spectacular because she's beenable to learn so much and gather
the combined expertise. Right?So that's all available at the touch
(33:53):
of a Few buttons and, youknow, moving your mouse around a
little. Okay. In personaldevelopment, there's one additional
barrier, and the barrier isour willingness to apply what we
learn because we have beentaught we're not really good enough.
(34:15):
Maybe we've had some failures.Maybe our upbringing was such that
we were, you know, dissed alot. You'll never amount to anything.
And all that kind of stuff,stuff that you hear in stories. And
so in addition to theinformation which is now available
instantly and the expertisedistilling, what's the best information
that's available instantly,too? What AI can do is it can make
(34:42):
encouragement availableimmediately, and that's AI bots.
And that's going to take outthe whole middle part of coaching.
What it can't do and neverwill is AI can't bleed. AI can't
be. And I don't meanliterally, although obviously code
can't bleed. It's not going tobe able to sit with me in the midst
(35:04):
of my fear and worry and giveme simply the space of love and encouragement
that a powerful coach can do.It's not going to be able to say
to me, you can do this. Yes,it can say those words and it might
(35:25):
write them powerfully becauseit's really good with language. But
it's not going to have thekind of connection that someone I
trust has. And you know that,and you can feel what I. What I'm
saying here. So this process,the next 10 episodes, I'm going to
(35:45):
talk about this arc coachingschools. You're going to be obsolete.
Your methods and things aregoing to be useless. And it doesn't
mean that what you teach isn'tvaluable. It's going to be democratized
and homogenized. If you'regoing to create powerful coaches,
you're going to have to havethat be the decoration. And the key
(36:08):
to getting power is theembodiment of the truth that you
teach. If you can teach me amethodology, but I can't get to where
I own it and do it and bleedit, and it leaks out of my eyes and
ears so that everybody who Idon't even talk to but in my presence
feels it, I'm. I'm going to beout of business, and so are you.
(36:33):
So this might sound like adoom saying, and it isn't. But it
is a call to action and a callto arms, because I intend to stay
in the coaching business. Iintend and already feel like I'm
in that top echelon, but Ithink that the top 95 or the top
5% is all that's going tosurvive. And the top 5% of coaches
(36:55):
isn't going to be the ones whoknow the most modalities. It's going
to be the ones who who areliving the truth of what they teach.
Incidentally, I think that'sgoing to be true for many other businesses
and many other functions. AIrobots is going to automate a lot
(37:17):
of stuff and you and I aregoing to be freed up. Freed up to
do what? The things that onlyhumans can do. Love, create, think,
do stuff that isn't mundaneand repetitive. I think that's joyful.
I think that's wonderful. Ithink that's going to give us more
time, more effort and morefocus to go forward and create your
(37:41):
ultimate life. Right now, youropportunity for massive growth is
right in front of you. Everyepisode gives you practical tips
and practices that will changeeverything. If you want to know more,
(38:06):
go to kellenfluecigermedia.comif you want more free tools, go here
YourUltimateLife CA SubscribeShare Stand with your heart in the
sky and your feet are the ground.
Welcome to the show. Tired ofthe hype about living a dream? It's
time for truth. This is theplace for tools, power and real talk
so you can create the life youdream and deserve your ultimate life.
Subscribe, share, create. Youhave infinite power. Hello and welcome
(00:29):
to this episode of yourultimate life. I've been doing a
lot of episodes about coachingand to me, achieving a life of purpose,
prosperity and joy has a lotto do with the practice of coaching.
Not because I'm a coach, butbecause I've discovered in my own
(00:52):
life that it's a big deal.Like I could not get to where I am
without help. And I use theword coaching as a catch all. But
for me, in the journey thatI've had since 2007, which is when
some dramatic things happenedin my life to change everything.
(01:12):
I've used counselors, I'veused rehab centers, I've used more
counselors and a lot ofcoaching from, from different kinds
of coaches. And I still havecoaches today. And it isn't just
because I'm a coach, because Ithink, you know, I think a person
who's trying to make a livingor trying to make a difference in
(01:33):
the world as a coach, youknow, being in the people encouragement
business or the people lovingor uplifting or showing a new vista
business, you know, that kindof thing, I think people like that,
that don't have a coach or,you know, sometimes they say they're
a fraud and I don't mean thatthey're insincere. I mean they're
(01:55):
not taking their position ortheir opportunity seriously because
I play the piano and I havesince I was young, maybe five or
so, and my first lessons werefrom my mom and those were all the
way through high school.Eventually I had later in my adult
years some lessons from aprofessional pianist. But my point
(02:19):
is, if I want to get betterslow, then I can learn how to practice
and I can get a little bitbetter on my own. And I did that
for many years. Now, inhindsight, I realized that not hiring,
not going to a high end pianoteacher straight up limited my piano
(02:43):
growth. I play, I play well. Iplay classical and jazz, improv and
stuff, but I don't play like Icould if I had spent the effort and
energy intentionally hiring afabulous piano teacher or a series
of them and then spent moretime. Now there was a period of time
where I spent, you know, thetraditional four hours a day on the
(03:05):
bench, not six, but four hoursa day. And during that time I got
better, but I didn't know whatI didn't know. And so even though
I looked stuff up and I wasdoing exercises and, you know, Hennon
and all the kinds of thingsthat, you know, everybody knows who
plays the piano, you know,Chopin etudes and so forth, I didn't
(03:28):
make the kind of progress Icould. So I don't feel sad about
that. I did lots of things inmy life that's fine. And I play really
well now. Okay. But I noticethe difference. So here's a question
for you. Is life really likeyou want it? If it is, you're done,
you're happy, move forwardexactly like you're doing, and add
(03:50):
good to the world in every wayyou can. What I noticed about my
life and about lots of folksthat I talk to is there's this underlying
yearning, a yearning to dogood, a yearning to do more, a yearning
to make a meaningfulcontribution. We can say that lots
of different ways. I want tomake a difference, I want to help
people. I want to add good tothe world, right? And when I question
(04:11):
them further or ask a littlemore, it's like, you know, they want
to do it a certain way. I wantto get rid of hunger or literacy
or help people in arelationship situations or with divorce
or whatever. I hear that allthe time. And there's 2100, not 2100
different ways to describethat. Two things are true. One is
almost always 99.9% of thetime, the choice that they have about
(04:36):
what they want to do to helpcomes from their own life experience.
In other words, they wentthrough a difficult thing. Financial
bankruptcies or difficultstuff. I just interviewed a lady
for my podcast whose episodewill be coming out not too many days
after or before this one righthere. And that's with her description.
Her and her husband gotsmashed in the dot com bust of 2001.
(05:01):
I know it's 25 and that's along time ago. And they got. Then
they picked themselves up andfigured out more financial strategies
and they chose real estate.And of course, when 2008 came around,
they got smashed again becausethey didn't know what they didn't
know, even though they hadfollowed, you know, some people,
they weren't prepared. Andthey stayed struggling for some time.
(05:25):
And now they've discovered anew and get. The operative word is
they discovered. And thereason they discovered it is they
went places, went to seminars,read books, guess what, bought programs,
got coaching so that theycould not only recover from the disaster,
but thrive. And now, always100 of the time, I want to help others,
(05:49):
man. I want to help people.And I don't know exactly the system
that they have, but point ofthe podcast wasn't marketing for
them in terms of that system.There's websites that I gave or that
they she gave or you can lookit up if that matters to you. But
universally struggle recoveryservice. So I'm asking you right
(06:12):
now, what is your strugglerecovery service. Now that's everybody
feels that who's gone throughsome kind of struggle, who's who's
made a recovery and then theyfeel like, wow, I'm doing okay now.
I want to help, I want to giveback, add good to the world. There's
a special group of people andthose are who those who say I want
to be in the it's calling itcoaching business. Sometimes I call
(06:34):
it the people encouragementbusiness. Although it's more than
that. It is making a choice tobe available in a powerful, loving,
service oriented way that mostpeople don't do. Now, I'm not saying
most people don't help others,they do. But in coaching, my discovery
is for me, it's a choice to beon the beam of service all the time,
(06:59):
be on the beam of love, holdno grudges, forgive everyone everything.
And I know that soundsdifficult or crazy, and it was to
start with, but I find thatwhen I don't live that way, I don't
have real power to coachpeople powerfully. I have power to
coach them half baked. And Isee that as universally true. When
I talk to different coachesand I talk to a lot, you know, I'm
(07:22):
doing these podcasts onThursday. The Thursday episode, starting
September 25th, is aboutcoaching and the rise of AI, which
is a book that's coming out onthe 23rd of October. And if you see
this after that, it's alreadyout. And it's about the gigantic
disruption that's going tohappen in the coaching industry.
That disruption is giving riseto a series of five episodes, actually
(07:50):
10, that I'm going to do overthe next several weeks because they're
not going to be all in a row.I have guests in between. And then
I have the special episodes onThursday where I'm interviewing coaches
specifically about AI. Buthere's the arc of the first five
of those episodes. I want totalk about what real coaching is
(08:12):
and what they all have incommon. And to me, that's more important
now than ever. And I'll tellyou why. Because coaching is radically
changing. The act of being acoach. Up to now, people identified
as a coach, action coach, OrJohn Maxwell coach or three principles
(08:32):
coach or NLP coach or alandmark, you know, coach. And they
would list a system, somaticcoach. And they would list a system
that they had learned andmaybe more than one, along with one
or two or three modalities,you know, meditation or stuff in
(08:53):
the body, focusing on traumahealing and stuff like that. And
they would rely on thosesystems as their tool belt. Okay.
And maybe they're trained intwo or three different modalities
and so they come with a morerobust tool belt. And for many years
that was, that was kind ofokay. And I say kind of because the
(09:15):
coaching industry has been introuble for a long time. It's been
limping along. Right. My righttoday forgetting AI pre AI, 55% of
coaches couldn't make 50k US ayear. Well, that's, you know, not
really enough to get by inlife. Right. And so you either have
(09:36):
to have a second job or be ina two income household. And on top
of that, most coaches incomegoes up and down. You know, oh, I
got some clients. Oh they're,I got clients ending, I got to go
out and prospect. And they,you know, hate the prospecting part.
That feeling may be true ifyou do other things where you got
to go find clients, financialservices, insurance salesmen, car
(09:58):
salesmen, mortgage brokers. Imean there's all kinds of professions
where you got to go findclients and coaching is just one
of them. But coaching I findis particularly difficult. And here's
the reason. People who've gonethrough struggles want to help people
and then decide they couldmake a difference. Not just a little,
(10:19):
but a lot. And they want tobecome coaches. Struggle more than
anyone I know with impostersyndrome. Not good enough. Doubt,
fear, self sabotage and allthat list of stuff. And then they
go get some training orwhatever to overcome that. But they
don't really do a very goodjob of actually overcoming it internally.
(10:41):
They, they sit at a place ofstruggle. And if they have a good
coach and they're engaged in agood coaching container, then they
make some progress. But theproblem is real good coaches are
more expensive and if you'remaking 50k or less, it's hard to
afford a really good coach. Soyou're sitting in this loop of I
(11:02):
can't pay for it and I can'tmake fast enough progress without
it. And you know that drill,right? It's like trying to build
a business. The myth that Ihave to spend money in order to make
money. And when I make somemore money, then I'll have some money
to spend on advertising andmarketing and Google Ads, Facebook
ads, LinkedIn ads, whatever,right? And it always seems like there's
(11:22):
no way out. Well, there is.There is. And over the next five
weeks, five episodes, it'sgoing to be episode 10, 33, 36, 39,
42 and 45. Every thirdepisode, I'm going to talk about
this evolution and what'srequired of coaching because it's
going to change. It's nolonger going to be, okay, well, I'm
(11:46):
a somatic coach. I'm an NLPcoach. None of that's going to matter.
And it's because AI is goingto get rid of all that distinction.
The LLMs, large languagemodels. Doesn't matter which one
you use most experience withChatGPT, but they're going to get
rid of that. Not that thosetools aren't valuable, but they're
(12:10):
going to be able to use thembetter than you do. And so then you
have to ask yourself, what isleft for me? What's left for me?
And the first question is, Iwant to, I want to ask you. Is coaching
schools up to now, excuse me,argue with each other about methodologies?
(12:31):
The ICF methodology is anotherbig one. Supposed to be, you know,
completely hands off. Younever give advice. The, the theory
is the client always has theirown wisdom. You ask directional questions
to get them to, quote,discover that wisdom. And you know,
that is another methodologythat, like the others I named, all
that kind of stuff isn't goingto matter anymore. And so here's
(12:53):
a funny question. Why do somany coaching schools fight over
words when we're all lookingat the same moon? There's the moon.
It gives light to the earth atnight in different phases. And yet
we struggle. The coachingworld has struggled and argued over
(13:13):
the right words to describethat light. And that's one of the
reasons there's been so muchfailure in the coaching profession
to start with. And it's goingto get a thousand times worse because
AI models are getting so good.I've seen several. I have seen models
built by coaches already thatwill blow most other this middle
(13:36):
tier of coaches out of thewater. So what's authentic, what
is real? And that's what Iwant to talk about. What has to progress
over time in order to, to stayin this game. Now, if you're a coach
and you want to stay in thegame, you need to pay attention.
First thing you need to do.And yeah, this is a pitch, you need
(13:56):
to go get coaching. And therise of AI, it's on Amazon. And you
need to get it. I've did adeep analysis of 11 different coaching
methodologies and analyzetheir vulnerability, how good they
are at getting people totheir, you know, purported goal line
and letting helping peopleaccomplish the things they want.
People don't hire a coachbecause they want a coach. People
(14:19):
hire a coach because they wantto fix a relationship or make more
money or be happier in theirown skin or quit sabotaging themselves
or get over fear in public orof presentations or of stage fright
or speaking or a combinationof all those things. And me, I was
stuck in decades ofdepression, self loathing. And so
(14:39):
when I went first to therapyand then to coaching, I needed to
get rid of that. I needed toget to a place where I trusted myself.
I have confidence in my voice,my principles, my learnings and my
knowing. And I have. Andthat's how come I know how powerful
this is and what a giganticdifference it makes. It's made a
huge difference in my life. Sohere's, here's the thing. Every.
(15:03):
And this goes right in withwhat do coaches need to do? And this
is a question I'm asking allthe coaches that show up on the Thursday
episodes. What do coaches needto do different to save their skins?
And by extension, if you'renot a coach, this episode is not.
Well, I blow this off becauseit's for coaches. No, it's not. If
(15:25):
you're thinking about gettingthe help you need to live your ultimate
life. And these questions arereally important for you too because
it's going to be reallytempting to think, well, I got all
these AI coaching models. I'lljust buy one for $97 a month and
I'm all good, right? No, the$97 a month or 197 or 2 $97 a month,
(15:45):
$297 a month coaching models.And they're already showing up. I've
seen some, several. They'regood and they're fabulous and they're,
they're scary good as far asthey go. And they will deal with
superficial and medium levelbarriers, blocks and difficulties.
Okay, now this is for bothcoaches and those who want to make
(16:06):
great strides in personalgrowth. And every coach better have
their hand up. And that's whatI'm saying. If every coach isn't
like, I need to make greatstrides, then you're not going to
stay in business becausestaying afloat is not an option.
Keeping going like we used tois not an option. The skill of the
(16:29):
programmers and these LLMs toeven simulate emotion and feel Authentic
and powerful is off thecharts. I know because I experienced
some of that as I was writingthe book. I was talking to one of
the guys that I interviewed onthe Thursday podcast, and he was
telling me that he used one ofthose models, and it brought him
to tears. He was emotional.The connection was so powerful. And
(16:51):
so immediately he. He said tohimself, wow, if this can do that,
what's left? And the answeris, there's a lot left. And the answer,
the thought. For you guys thatare not coaches but are looking for
rapid and powerful growth, youneed to look for these things. It's
not about the model. It's notabout the words. It's not about the
(17:12):
frameworks. There is anillusion of difference, landmark
distinctions, and threeprincipal insights. Spiritual direction.
They're all different dialectsof the same language. Okay. It is
the ego's need todifferentiate versus the spirit's
(17:34):
hunger for resonance. Now, ifyou're looking to grow, okay, then
go get a coach. And here's howyou tell if they're good. When you're
in their presence, do you feelabsolutely elevated, seen powerful,
(17:54):
like they are listening toyou, like you're the only being on
earth? Does your capabilityindex, does it soar without even
any words, just being in theirpresence? And if that's not true,
go find a different one. Andcoaches who hear this, you're going
(18:14):
to get pissed off because Isay that. But that's the ante, you
and me, and I'm including mein that we have to do the work on
ourselves every day, the workof growth that we're trying to help
clients do we have to do thatwork every day so much that we stand
(18:34):
in power all the time, that itis the essence of our being. The
guy that I mentioned earlierwho moved to a different city, and
he's going to. He's a coach,and he was talking about how he's
creating or starting to createclients in the new place. And he
is a powerful coach. And sohe's just going to meet business
(18:59):
owners. Where would they be?Chambers of commerce, entrepreneur
meetups, you know, those kindof things. And getting in conversation,
not saying, hey, I'm a coach.Do you need help? But being that
presence of loving, listeningand powerful connection. So there's
two points here. One, ifyou're a coach, you have to develop
(19:19):
that, and if you don't, you'redead. Two, if you're looking for
the. To make the best out ofyour life, if you're tired of settling,
if you've climbed the wall ofSuccess. And then you way up the
ladder, and you're in the Csuite and you're making 1, 2, 3,
500,000, a million dollars ayear, and you're not happy. Like,
(19:42):
you're not ecstatic. Jumpingup and down. You love your life.
You love everything about it.Then you have to ask yourself, why
not? And you have to go getthe help to find out what's missing,
because something is missing.You deserve to be. You can be living
the ultimate life. I know thatbecause I live that. And there are
(20:04):
specific things that you canlearn to do, to live in purpose,
prosperity, and joy every dayto where you feel like you're connected
to a purpose. And it'sinteresting when I talk to people,
and I talk to them a lot, whoare successful entrepreneurs. And
now they found a. They found apurpose, right? They found a thing
(20:26):
they want to do. And when theydescribe what they're about as an
entrepreneur, I know rightnow, coach and an entrepreneur, he's
in Australia, and he's createdthis group of 12 people. They're
each very influential. And theproject they're working on is to
infuse the principle of lovein every vertical. Like in business,
(20:53):
in government, in finance,like to stop treating it like this
squishy craps outside. Andthey're going at it. And these 12
powerful people have formed anonprofit. They're building a retreat
center in the Himalayas, ofcourse, of all places, right? And
so they're about this. I knowanother fellow who has a successful
(21:15):
business, and his yearning isto help young men, you know, feel
better about themselves andhave more options than he did. And
he's well underway creatingthat thing. Now, those are two examples
of people who have overcometheir own difficulties because both
(21:35):
their stories are amazing.They have then become successful.
They have felt that yearning.I want to give back. That you might
be feeling, I know you'refeeling. If you're one of those people
that's overcome struggle andyou've created success, you are feeling
the yearning to give back. And80% of you haven't decided what that
(21:55):
looks like yet. 80% of you arelike, you know, I really want to
do something that matters. Iwant to create a difference in the
world. I don't know how to doit yet. I don't know what my mission
is. What's my purpose here.That's the key. Finding that is not
difficult. There is astructured process to do that. If
(22:17):
you'd like help finding yourmission, finding your divine purpose,
your gifts, the thing you areborn to do, reach out. There's a
URL right here at the bottom.Kellenflukermedia.com and there's
a contact form there. And Ican help you do that. The reason
I can is because I developed aprocess to do that first for myself
(22:39):
and then for others. And soyou, you deserve to have a good cause,
a powerful motivator. And letme tell you, when you have that.
Ooh. Like, you wake up excitedevery day. You're focused, you're
stoked, you're ready to roll.So I want to go back now to what
(23:01):
we were talking about to startwith, when I said coaching, schools
have, up to now, argued aboutsemantics, about different approaches.
This way is better, that way'sbetter, and I have more power than
you do. And all that argumentis is going to be like people arguing
(23:21):
whose fault it was that thedam broke when they're staring at
the wall of water. Like you'veall seen a tsunami disaster movie.
Right when the wall of water'scoming, everybody's better be just
heading for high ground. Anytime spent pointing fingers or arguing
about how come we didn't knowearlier or what caused this just
(23:44):
assures that more people aregoing to get killed or hurt. That's
what's going on. If we stilltalk about these meaningless differences
in coaching, what matters isauthenticity, your own development,
that you're powerfully workingon it all the time, every single
day, and that you're willingto make the sacrifices required to
(24:05):
stay ahead on the mountain ofgrowth. Like, if I hire a coach,
they. They need to be furtherthan I am so they can help me up.
They need to be more diligent,more focused, have more experience
in the difficulties of growth.Not cooler tools. I like tools, okay?
I read people's posts and Imake notes, and I get to edit people's
(24:29):
books. One of the fun thingsabout my job, my business, is I help
people write books. And inthat process, I get to edit them.
And every single book that Iedit is a joy because I learned things.
And most of the people writingbooks are writing them about their
own journey, their ownstruggles they're overcoming, and
how they would help peoplewith the things they've learned.
(24:52):
And so they present them inthese books and I get to edit them.
And I've learned all kinds ofstuff. And there's several coming
out right now. One's calledthe Renewable you by Kayleigh Williams.
One's called Masters ofBadassery by Martha Kachavska. And
read I'm sorry, Wade Reed haswritten one. And there's some more,
(25:15):
and I'm not remembering alltheir names right now, but point
is, everybody who has thatstory of overcoming and then desire
to serve, one of the waysthey're doing it is writing a book
and figuring out how to teach.And that's another quote, methodology,
and what I've told all myauthors and myself, because I'm just
(25:37):
finishing the book to Coachingin The Rise of AI be out on October
23, which is probably in thepast when you hear this, that those
methodologies won't matterunless you and I as a coach are a
product of the product. Now,if you're not a coach and you want
to make the kind of growththat's available through coaching,
(25:59):
and your goal is to become aproduct of that innate presence and
power that comes to your coachwhen they're constantly working.
And if you have somebody thatdoesn't inspire you like that, fire
them. They're not doinganything. They're going to be washed
out to sea in the tsunami ofAI possibilities. All right, so the
(26:25):
next thing that I want to talkabout in this context is I was a
consultant for a long time,and a consultant is supposed to know
answers. You got to know theanswer and give people the answers.
You better be right. And youget to charge a lot because you're
supposed to know stuff. Or youdo the research and figure it out.
(26:46):
Coaching is completelydifferent. In the beginning, I didn't
understand the differencebetween coaching and teaching. And
I'll tell you what it is.Teaching is just that I'm explaining
to you something you need toknow to solve a situation that you're
in. Coaching is getting in thetrenches and being with you energetically
(27:08):
so that you make the changesthat are necessary to do that, accomplish
the thing that you havelearned. So you might learn, I need
to write better copy, becausebetter sales letters, conversations,
better for my sales calls. Youmight know that and then go learn
it and still be held backbecause you are afraid of rejection.
(27:32):
And so you don't make thephone calls you need to or send the
dms, or if you do, it's timidand small, well, how effective is
that? How do you. How do youlike it? Or I like it when someone
approaches us that doesn'tfeel certain about what they've got,
the features, advantages,benefits, you know why it matters.
(27:56):
We're like, I don't have timefor this. Go away. And so whether
you're looking to growyourself or you're looking to help
others grow, the process isthe same. It's Just that if you want
to be a coach, you better beway further ahead. You better be
way further ahead because youcan't reach back or down and help
(28:17):
somebody up if you're notconstantly moving up the mountain.
All right, remember, like Isaid, consulting, teaching, the same
thing. It's about sharinginformation, knowledge. Coaching
is about helping someone makethe internal and external changes
(28:37):
until they become habitual,and then they can apply that, learning
that, apply that knowledge.When you look at sports, you know
the great coaches that areheld in high esteem. You know the
name, college footballcoaches, basketball coaches. I'm
not going to say their namesbecause I'm going to screw it up.
(28:59):
I know Vince Lombardi and theguy that coached the Chicago Bulls
and the several collegecoaches. They were so good, not because
of their skill at basketball,but their skill at people. And that
isn't about teaching. That'sabout who you're being. So I invite
(29:20):
you to consider whether, evenif you're not a coach, let's say
you're leading your team. Thishas to do with leadership. Also,
if you're leading your teamwith love and encouragement, or you're
coaching your clients withlove and encouragement, that's going
to be way more powerful, lastway longer, and create much more
progress than just teaching.Telling them what to do, telling
(29:44):
someone what to do is going tolast a short period of time. And
as soon as it becomesdifficult, as soon as fear is involved,
as soon as the first round ortwo of failure or uncertainty comes,
all of your work will beundone. Now, one of the things that's
difficult, whether you'remaking growth for yourself or you're
(30:05):
a coach trying to helpclients, is ego. When ego is running
the show, you're dead. Nobodyresponds well to ego. And it's really
obvious. So an example is ifI'm trying to get a client, and it
doesn't matter if it's acoaching client or an insurance client,
if I show up in theconversation in a way that says,
(30:28):
oh, I need this client, pleasebuy my stuff, what can I say to make
you see how valuable this is?Please buy my stuff. You know, we
want to puke and can't wait toend the conversation. If you're selling
insurance and I sit with youand you ask me really good questions,
and I can tell that you'relistening and really concerned about
(30:49):
what I want in a year, 2, 5,10 for myself, for my kids, for potential
death benefits, forretirement. And. And I know that
you're powerfully listening byhow you're showing me and listening
and by how you build whateverit is that you have to offer. I'm
way more likely to trust youand to dig in to the possibility
(31:12):
of us working together. Thatsame thing is true if you're trying
to help somebody throughcoaching instead of life insurance.
Okay. And when you have egoget in the way, Ego needs to be right.
Ego needs to not makemistakes. I know. I lived there for
(31:34):
decades. I needed to be right.I needed not to be embarrassed. It
went to great lengths to dothat, and that shows up in a lot
of places. So I want you tothink about this both from the perspective
of. Of personal growth foryourself and as a coach. Okay? Now,
you and I, we. We sit at anunprecedented time in history. It
(32:01):
used to be difficult for us toget information and knowledge 100
years ago. Then libraries camealong where books were put together
and wow. We could go to thelibrary. Wow. And check out books.
And suddenly the knowledge ofthe world became available, and all
(32:23):
I had to do was go to thelibrary, and then I had to read the
book and study a little bit.Some time went by, and then we created
the Internet. And the Internethas developed and so forth, and it's
full of good stuff andgarbage, but the Internet now brought
the library to my living room.And, you know, I. I don't know about
(32:45):
you, but I was a kid, I usedto go to the library, and I would
look up a book, and my librarydidn't have it. Maybe somewhere else
in the city had it, or maybethe city didn't even have it. And
sometimes libraries borrowedand so forth, and so you had to wait
and all that kind of stuff.The Internet got rid of all that.
You can have every book allthe time, right here, right now.
I don't care what it is. Youcan be reading it tonight and learning.
(33:08):
And so that shortened thatlearning time. Now AI has come, and
it's shortened expertise, theability to assimilate, to read all
that stuff, gather it up,assimilate what makes sense, give
you really good opinions, andget you somewhere into a place of
knowledge way faster. Nothingshowed that more powerfully than
(33:30):
the last two years of myhealth experience. I've had different
health challenges, and whatthey were doesn't matter. But Joy
has been really diligent aboutusing ChatGPT to look stuff up and
integrate it with what we talkto the doctors about. And it's been
spectacular because she's beenable to learn so much and gather
the combined expertise. Right?So that's all available at the touch
(33:53):
of a Few buttons and, youknow, moving your mouse around a
little. Okay. In personaldevelopment, there's one additional
barrier, and the barrier isour willingness to apply what we
learn because we have beentaught we're not really good enough.
(34:15):
Maybe we've had some failures.Maybe our upbringing was such that
we were, you know, dissed alot. You'll never amount to anything.
And all that kind of stuff,stuff that you hear in stories. And
so in addition to theinformation which is now available
instantly and the expertisedistilling, what's the best information
that's available instantly,too? What AI can do is it can make
(34:42):
encouragement availableimmediately, and that's AI bots.
And that's going to take outthe whole middle part of coaching.
What it can't do and neverwill is AI can't bleed. AI can't
be. And I don't meanliterally, although obviously code
can't bleed. It's not going tobe able to sit with me in the midst
(35:04):
of my fear and worry and giveme simply the space of love and encouragement
that a powerful coach can do.It's not going to be able to say
to me, you can do this. Yes,it can say those words and it might
(35:25):
write them powerfully becauseit's really good with language. But
it's not going to have thekind of connection that someone I
trust has. And you know that,and you can feel what I. What I'm
saying here. So this process,the next 10 episodes, I'm going to
(35:45):
talk about this arc coachingschools. You're going to be obsolete.
Your methods and things aregoing to be useless. And it doesn't
mean that what you teach isn'tvaluable. It's going to be democratized
and homogenized. If you'regoing to create powerful coaches,
you're going to have to havethat be the decoration. And the key
(36:08):
to getting power is theembodiment of the truth that you
teach. If you can teach me amethodology, but I can't get to where
I own it and do it and bleedit, and it leaks out of my eyes and
ears so that everybody who Idon't even talk to but in my presence
feels it, I'm. I'm going to beout of business, and so are you.
(36:33):
So this might sound like adoom saying, and it isn't. But it
is a call to action and a callto arms, because I intend to stay
in the coaching business. Iintend and already feel like I'm
in that top echelon, but Ithink that the top 95 or the top
5% is all that's going tosurvive. And the top 5% of coaches
(36:55):
isn't going to be the ones whoknow the most modalities. It's going
to be the ones who who areliving the truth of what they teach.
Incidentally, I think that'sgoing to be true for many other businesses
and many other functions. AIrobots is going to automate a lot
(37:17):
of stuff and you and I aregoing to be freed up. Freed up to
do what? The things that onlyhumans can do. Love, create, think,
do stuff that isn't mundaneand repetitive. I think that's joyful.
I think that's wonderful. Ithink that's going to give us more
time, more effort and morefocus to go forward and create your
(37:41):
ultimate life. Right now, youropportunity for massive growth is
right in front of you. Everyepisode gives you practical tips
and practices that will changeeverything. If you want to know more,
(38:06):
go to kellenfluecigermedia.comif you want more free tools, go here
YourUltimateLife CA SubscribeShare Stand with your heart in the
sky and your feet are the ground.
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