Episode Transcript
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Laura Nicole (00:02):
Welcome to your
Virtual Assistant Coach, the
podcast for moms who want tomake money from home on their
own terms.
I'm your host, laura Nicole, asuccessful six-figure earning VA
and coach, who replaced mycollege professor salary in just
five months back in 2020, aftermy daughter was born, and I
have never looked back.
I'm here to help you build aprofitable, flexible VA business
(00:24):
that fits into your family'slives, so you no longer feel
like you're living just to work.
Let's dive in.
Hello y'all.
It is an exciting day on yourvirtual assistant coach because
we have our very first guestjoining us who is not my
five-year-old daughter, and thisguest is a total fan favorite.
(00:48):
Jess is a mindset and growthcoach who has this way.
I don't know how she does it,but she has this way of putting
things into perspective,offering powerful mindset shifts
and providing actionable adviceto propel your personal growth
forward.
She is my personal mindsetmentor.
She is also one of my very bestfriends and she is also the
(01:12):
in-house mindset master for theSuperstar Assistant Academy.
So if you are a member of SAA,then you will absolutely
recognize her from variousworkshops that she has held for
us, including the BuildingBelief and Mastering your
Mindset workshop that I made youwatch before anything else when
you decided to enroll and joinus in SAA.
Women constantly rave about howshe speaks fire into them, that
(01:36):
they feel seen and validated byher teaching and, lucky for
y'all, you get her here in yourears right now.
So I want to welcome Jess.
I am so freaking happy to haveyou on the podcast.
Jess (01:51):
I'm so freaking excited to
be here.
I feel like this has been likeobviously the next step.
I've been involved in so muchof this business with you,
mentoring your clients, and I'mjust really excited to be able
to be on this platform anddeliver some goods today,
because we all know that SAAwomen are my favorite and I rave
about them and I get so excitedanytime I get to come here and
(02:13):
talk to women about thisopportunity and how you can
leverage it and really help it,work on your own growth and
build an incredible income foryourself.
So I'm excited.
Laura Nicole (02:23):
Yes, this has been
a long time coming.
And y'all when I tell you thatme as a coach and the Superstar
Assistant Academy honestly mightnot exist if it weren't for
Jess, because she has helped mewith my own mindset and my
belief.
Like when I wanted to startcoaching, I had this massive
limiting belief and impostersyndrome, that like who am I to
(02:46):
coach these women right?
And that negative thoughtprocess and that self-sabotage
might have won out if it weren'tfor having Jess in my corner,
breathing belief into me,helping me work through those
things.
And now here we are, threeyears later and over a thousand
people helped through theprogram and we definitely owe
some of that to you, jess.
And now here we are, threeyears later and over a thousand
people helped through theprogram and we definitely owe
(03:08):
some of that to you, jess.
Jess (03:10):
Oh, thank you.
But listen, when you are in mylife, you don't really get a
choice.
Like you already know, youdon't get a choice when we're
talking to be in that mindset orhave that belief I have.
I don't have the ability toreally pull myself back from
mentoring even my friends andthe people in my life.
That's how I knew what I wantedto do with my life, or knew the
direction to take, because I'mlike I already do this on a
(03:32):
day-to-day basis.
And so what I heard of this ideabecause I've known about it
since before it was an actualbusiness I was like this is
going to be huge.
This is going to be so fuckinghuge and it's going to be huge,
this is going to be so fuckinghuge and it's going to help so
many women's lives and youbetter build this.
And I have just been acheerleader along the way and
luckily, I do something that I'mable to then come and bring to
(03:55):
to these women and and you know,I feel like I am a part of, of
this business I do have like Ihave this little piece of it
that I get to be a part of andfeed into these women.
So I love it.
I love it all.
Laura Nicole (04:08):
I love it.
We get the best of both worldsthe work and the woo when you
are a superstar.
Okay, so can you give thelisteners just a quick
background, because we do have alot of listeners who are not
Superstar Assistant Academymembers yet anyway, right, so
can we share with the listenersjust a little background, like
why mindset for you, like whatwas your path, what got you to
(04:30):
this point and why are you sopassionate about personal growth
?
Jess (04:36):
Let's see if I could make
it really short.
This is going to be thechallenge.
I'm a yapper and I think thatthis story is really, really,
really important because youneed to know who you're learning
from and why you're learningfrom them and why they have
credibility.
And so a little bit of abackstory.
I grew up in a trailer park,low income family, everybody
around me, survival mode.
Nobody had a college degree,nobody was making a lot of money
(04:58):
and nobody had any dreams.
Yet there was little old methat was like I want a big life,
I want, I want all of my dreams, I want abundance, I want to
thrive, I want to have joy, Iwant to have all of these things
.
And none of it made sense formy current circumstances.
So, fast forward to 19, I gotpregnant and I was thrown into
that same exact cycle that Iswore I would not do.
(05:23):
I fell into the survival.
We were working at McDonald's,making $7 an hour you guys, $7
an hour.
I was begging people to watchmy baby because I didn't have
anybody.
I was doing adulthood andmotherhood at the same exact
time and I looked just likeeverybody else in my life as a
kid.
And then you know, when I gotto 24, we had two kids, we were
(05:43):
making things work, but it wasstill penny to penny.
And I remember having my firstI like to call it my first
midlife crisis, even though thatdoesn't make sense and I
totally understand.
But I had a breakdown and I waslike this is not it.
I swore to myself I wouldn'tlive this life.
I've got to change.
Something has got to give.
I had no college degree.
(06:10):
Okay, I was working at home,doing medical billing and just
trying to get by.
And I found out don't know Idon't remember how, but I had
stumbled across personal growthand I learned, which I did not
know you know that you have thepower to change your mindset, to
change your belief system, tonot follow in the footsteps of
those before you, to do thingsdifferently.
And you can only do thosethings differently by changing
yourself.
Well, I wanted this big, giant,beautiful life At the time.
(06:31):
In that moment, I had no avenueto get me there.
The only thing that I could dowas work on myself, and
obviously that was the way thatit was supposed to play out, and
so I dove headfirst into justlearning.
How do you change your mindset,how do you work on yourself,
learning about myself, findingout that the way that I acted
wasn't inherently who I was.
It was just behaviors that Ihad picked up on, ways that I
(06:54):
had survived my life, all ofthese incredible things.
And it really took thispressure off of me of like I am
not a people pleaser, I act as apeople pleaser.
I am not, you know all of thesethings.
I just behave as them.
And so, like even my biggestflaws, it was the most
empowering thing because I'mlike I can change that.
And so then I went on and in2020, I got my first.
(07:15):
I found network marketing.
I didn't find it, but I knewI'd known about it and this
opportunity had found me.
Essentially, and I rememberthinking I am absolutely never
going to be in fucking networkmarketing.
I'm never going to be that girl.
I'm not at.
No, I was terrified of whatpeople would think of me.
I was still, you know, only sixyears into working on myself
and I had been doing it all bymyself at that time, and so I
(07:38):
was like I'm still terrified,but I knew I had this vision.
I had a vision that was soclear to me and I was like this
is going to be it.
And so I went.
I jumped, you know, right intothat and it opened up doors to
my life that I could never haveimagined.
Working on an online, in theonline industry, building your
own business, can literallycreate financial freedom, time
(08:01):
freedom, anything that you couldimagine.
I remember going to my husbandlike holy shit, this is it, this
is how we do it, this is how wecreate this life, this is my
avenue to success.
And once I got into that world,I realized just how important
personal growth was.
And I heard people saying itand I'm like, oh my God, I've
already.
I've already been doing thisfor six years.
I am like I'm so good at this.
(08:23):
I can, I can definitely do more.
And I used it, because whathappens when you go on an
entrepreneurial journey?
It highlights every single flaw, every single unhealed wound,
every single negative thoughtyou've ever had about yourself,
it's like a giant spotlighthappens.
And so, um, that's when I, likeI just went even more into
personal growth and I mentoredwomen in it.
(08:45):
And so now I'm not in networkmarketing anymore, and so I
basically coach online businessowners, women in business, and I
help them go beyond strategy.
I help them shift into identity, work, embodiment, work,
mindset, belief, self-sabotage,really just their growth journey
.
And I tell my clients I'm goingto help grow you, your bank
(09:07):
account and your business,because they're all connected
and it starts with you, not thenext action that you need to do.
And I have now 11 years ofexperience in personal growth.
I have invested a lot of time,money, money and energy into
myself, and I have five yearsexperience in mentoring women,
building a business and publicspeaking.
(09:27):
So that is that's how I gothere.
It is what I love to do.
When I left network marketing,I knew I'm going to serve women
in business, because they're themost badass that there is out
there, especially on the onlinebusiness world, because it can
eat you alive, and so, yeah,that's what I do.
Laura Nicole (09:44):
Yeah, it literally
can.
And it's interesting to hearthe way you explain it, because
I think that it's something alot of women don't anticipate
coming up for them.
Right, I definitely didn'tanticipate it coming up for me
the way that it has.
And in coaching, right, I'vehad a thousand women go through
my program and all of themstruggle with mindset blocks and
(10:08):
mental things that pop up andself-sabotage and imposter
syndrome, and a lot of them arekind of like taken aback by it
and they're like why is thishappening?
Like why is this a thing?
But it's so.
You're really out there likeputting your all in yourself and
, like you said, like there's aspotlight on you.
But I think our brains,especially for people like me
(10:30):
who are like very I don't know,does this make me left-brained
or right-brained?
I'm very like logical right andlike I want a strategy and I
want a plan and I wantinstructions and what to execute
.
And so in my brain I think,okay, business equals strategy,
it equals to-do lists, it equalstaking action, and I never
(10:51):
realized until I was in it justhow much the mindset and the
energy and the belief behinddoing the action actually
matters.
And now I've seen it in myself.
I've seen it in women that I'vecoached.
You have to have your mindsetin the right spot.
You have to be working on thathalf of things in order for your
(11:15):
strategy and your actions toeven work.
They could be great on theirown, but if they're not backed
by the right mindset and theright energy, then they're not
going to go anywhere and I thinka lot of women just don't
realize that connection.
Jess (11:28):
Absolutely.
That's the key right there.
It's like you don't, we're notleaving strategy and action and
saying we don't need to do that,we just need to fully work on
ourselves.
Absolutely not.
We need to do them both, weneed to marry them, we need it
to be.
I do this, and.
But what we have to understandis the you part is the first
part, because while we, you know, we have to have a strategy in
(11:49):
place, right, but this needs tobe what you do.
You needs to be what you dodaily, first and foremost, to
then filter into those actionsbecause energy speaks volumes
who you are when you show up todo those actions and just
understanding that it goes handin hand.
And I think that's the missingkey for most entrepreneurs,
especially when they come intothis business or this industry
(12:11):
to build a business.
And, like you, when they'rejust like taken aback, like holy
shit, wait what?
They take it as a stop sign,right, they're like okay, stop
and no, this is too hard.
Or they say this sentence thatdrives me up a wall.
But I totally understand itwhere they say this just isn't
for me and I'm like it is it, sois it's not for the old you,
(12:31):
it's not for the you that wantsto stay stuck, you're absolutely
right, but that's not where youwant to stay, babe.
So it is for you, but it's forthe future you so like let's get
to her because it can work foryou.
You're just allowing it to betoo hard, and that's a normal
human response, so yeah.
Laura Nicole (12:50):
Yeah, it's easy to
shift into that overwhelm and
then just let kind of the feartake over and shut down.
But I'm really curious to hearfrom you, especially because you
do function as a growth coachwho specializes in working with
women who are earning incomeonline.
So I'm curious to hear what isthe number one thing that you
(13:11):
see through conversation,through your coaching, through
your mentorship, that holdswomen back from taking advantage
of this opportunity to reallyearn flexible income online.
Jess (13:23):
Okay.
So here's the thing when we'retalking about being, I say,
entrepreneur a lot or CEO a lot,and there's a difference in you
being an entrepreneur of abrick and mortar or a CEO of a
brick and mortar there's a lotmore people involved in that
process.
When you are an online businessowner and creating something in
the online space, I feel asthough it's really just you,
(13:44):
right, it's just you buildingthat business, and so it's
easier and that's not takingaway from a brick and mortar
startup, because they deal withit too, but it's just easier for
the thoughts to get louder.
And so something that I see inalmost every single woman that
I've ever worked with or coachedor spoken to, and especially in
the, we did a live coachingwith some SSA girls or SAA girls
(14:07):
, and a lot that came up forthem was like I've quit
everything that I've ever done,so like why is this going to be
any different?
It's belief, right.
Like they don't believe,because of their past
experiences, that this can beany different, and I'm gonna
tell you this comes up foreveryone.
I've seen it time and time andtime again.
(14:27):
Everybody feels as though likethey're a chronic quitter.
They have so many failures thatthey've done, and so the way
that I coach them and what Itell them is for one, we've got
to give them a perspective.
I need to help them understandwhy this is coming up and how
normal and human it is.
You live your entire life witha front row seat to every single
(14:51):
failure you've ever had oranything you've deemed a failure
, any mistake you've ever made,anytime you've ever said
something that you didn't like,all of your biggest flaws, and
anytime that you've stoppeddoing something.
And in this day and age, whenwe stop doing something, we love
to label it ourselves or othersas quitters.
(15:11):
Right, the whole world likes tolabel you oh, you just quit.
You quit that or you didn'tpush through, and even if it's
hard, you didn't push through,and even if it was out of
alignment for you, you stilldidn't push through, and that
makes it mean something aboutwho you are, and so we have this
huge giant tally of all ofthese things that we've ever
(15:32):
done.
So, of course, we have thisfear going into a new, you know,
opportunity, that we're justgoing to fall apart and we're
going to quit it, like we alwaysdo, and we're actually not good
, and so our brain and our egolike to pop off.
It likes to start telling usall of the reasons.
Hey, remember when you quitthis.
Hey, remember when you did that.
And what's happening here isimportant to understand so that
you can start to separateyourself from this.
(15:53):
One it's normal not to havebelief in yourself, and that's
something that we have to buildup.
Two, all of our egos operatethe same way.
They want us to be safe.
That is what they were made for.
It's a way to protect ourselvesfrom the outside world, from
embarrassment, from lookingstupid, from any negative
(16:16):
judgment all of those things.
It's a way to protect ourselvesand it's a survival instinct to
just stay small.
So your ego is immediately gonnafeed you all of this evidence,
of all of these things, becauseit wants you to understand that
staying in this bubble and notgoing after this is safer,
because to you it is.
(16:36):
It's safer to stay, even if youhate where you're at right now,
how stagnant you are.
It's safer to stay in that spotthan the uncertainty of what
actually would happen If youbuilt a successful business, if
you actually had the success, ifyou actually had the money, if
you had to actually give up.
The story of I quit everything,or this is just too hard or
(16:59):
that's not for me, and we justnaturally fall to the fault line
of just like that's just toohard and that's okay and it
helps, keep us so stagnant andin a box, and so your brain
constantly wants to default tothis is too hard and
unattainable.
It's easier to choose the bad,sad, hard feelings than it is to
(17:22):
choose the excitement and joy.
And the last thing that I wouldtell you and want you to
understand is that you cannotbase what you're going to do off
of who you used to be or whoyou are right now that you don't
fully align with.
We all have this desire tobecome the woman that makes us
the most proud.
(17:42):
I don't care who you are orwhere you're at.
No, you cannot look at me inthe eye and tell me that you
don't want to be the bestversion of yourself, the version
that you can look at and sayI'm so fucking proud of her.
I feel excited to be her everyday.
I love being in her head and inher body and just being able to
express myself in that way.
I'm, you know, the, you knowthat certain energy of yourself,
(18:05):
that confidence, that belief weall want, wanna be her and so
understand that this opportunitycan help you build her and can
help you start becoming her.
So basing it off of who you'vebeen or who you have been is
like invalid data.
It doesn't work because we'renot gonna be her and we've done
(18:25):
work or we're in the process ofdoing work.
So this is going to bedifferent and it's really
talking to your brain first andsaying those actual things I
teach this to my clients all thetime Like you have to actually
say that.
You have to actually stop thethought process and say no, this
time is different, because yourbrain works off of evidence,
(18:46):
your mindset works off ofevidence.
You just have to feed it theright stuff and not let the
others kind of like take root.
So the number one thing that Isee in the biggest, you know,
barrier for women to get over isI've quit everything in my life
and it's just really helpingthem understand a different
perspective and saying thatdoesn't have to be that way.
If you want to cling on to thatstory, you're just going to
(19:08):
remain stagnant because nothingchanges.
If nothing changes, in, no timeis going to be different unless
you make it different and youhave the ability by doing it
differently, and that's byfocusing on yourself in
overcoming those barriers whileyou build the business and kind
of allowing the business to be aguide a guide to all of the
(19:30):
spots.
If you looked at it like I'mgoing to let this opportunity
guide me to all of the areasthat I need to heal or work on
it starts to feel different.
It starts to feel less dauntingand scary and more of something
that's helpful and motivatingand inspiring to you, and it
gives you a leverage that youdidn't have before.
Now you're using it to become abetter version of yourself and
(19:51):
build a business rather thanjust another thing.
You're trying because you wantto make money.
Laura Nicole (20:02):
Yeah, I love that.
It's so good and nothingchanges if nothing changes.
It's like one of my favoritemottos.
I like to say that to the womenI coach all the time too right
Like you're going to stay in thesame spot if you keep doing the
same thing.
Jess (20:11):
How do you, how are you
ever going to get to the vision
that you have for your life, orwhat you actually deeply desire,
if you don't ever change thenext step, if you just keep
allowing the next step to be thesame thing?
Of course you're going to keep,you know, quitting or failing
or giving up.
It's in the the building beliefand building that confidence
(20:33):
and doing those things so thatyou can get to that vision.
But you have to take adifferent next step.
It has to be different thistime and you can make it
different.
And once you make it different,you're going to start thinking
differently.
Laura Nicole (20:45):
Yeah, 100%, and it
makes me think back to, it,
makes me tap into mycommunication professor days.
If we would teach about theself-fulfilling prophecy, right,
like if we're telling our brainif you join, even if you don't
join, saa, if you just make achoice on your own, I'm going to
(21:05):
become a virtual assistant.
Right, I'm going to do this,I'm going to create extra income
, I'm going to help support myfamily, all the things you make
that choice.
But you're also subconsciouslytelling yourself but this
probably won't actually work.
then it's not going to work Likeit just is not going to work
because you're putting theprophecy out there already, and
(21:28):
then your subconscious is goingto take action to make that
result come to fruition, eventhough it's not the result that
you actually want.
Your brain is hearing thatstory.
Jess (21:42):
Yeah, it's it when you
have that programming running in
the background.
That's why I'm like we can'tbypass shit, like you can not
just ignore that voice or thatthought or that belief, like
that is the root and if youdon't nip it in the butt now and
work on it now, it's going tocome up later, regardless of
what you do.
And when you have thatprogramming going on, it does
(22:04):
affect.
It affects every single action,and it does it in such a
minimal way that you don't evenrealize it's happening.
And you're so good at it,because you've been doing it
your whole life, that you're anactual pro.
And so another thing that Icoach people on in that instance
is get curious about yourbehaviors when those things
(22:25):
start to come up.
Get curious, not judgment, notbeing oh my god, I just can't
get it together.
I keep doing this.
We're none of that needs tolive here.
We're already a mean girlenough to ourself.
So say you know I, I'm justgoing to get curious of myself.
Why do I keep saying that?
Why do I keep doing that?
What do I do next when thathappens?
And pay attention to the smallways that you start to
(22:46):
self-sabotage and it looks likeyou know, oh my God, this always
happens to me, or, of course,this is going to go on because
I'm trying to do better.
And this is exactly why we findall these reasons when really
it's just life happening, andthat never stops happening.
You never stop being busy, itnever stops being hard, it never
stops throwing you a curve ball, it never stops doing all these
(23:08):
things.
But when we're in a heightenedstate to try and do something,
it's like those things becomemagnified and are the only thing
that we see.
And we're like see, told you,told you, I can't do it, and so
just paying attention and beingcurious when that stuff starts
to come up and see and catchyour patterns.
That's how we stop them is bycatching them and the
self-sabotage that's how itworks.
(23:28):
Is that under that programmingin your subconscious, that's not
just, that's not woo, woo,people, okay, that's actual time
.
There's really a subconsciousand a conscious mind that is
real and people like to chalk itup to like, oh, that's so, like
woo, woo.
No, it's really, it's, it's anactual thing.
And we act out in oursubconscious mind like I think,
like 86 I'm this is just methrowing out there, but it's
(23:51):
like 86 percent of your day isdone subconsciously on autopilot
.
Damn and like just ran out ofmuscle memory and like we don't
even produce that many newthoughts in a day that we think
we do.
It's a lot of the samerepetitive stuff, and so
understanding that is going tobe key to any new growth.
Laura Nicole (24:09):
Yeah, that's funny
, you guys, it's almost like
you're getting.
I could have just played youthe voice note that Jess sent me
the other day in our privateone-on-one mentorship, because
she just said all the same shitthat she was saying to me, I
think, last week.
I literally was like I feellike I've been doing so good and
then the universe throws thisin my face and throws this in my
face, and she was like Laura,check that shit.
No.
Jess (24:30):
You're the only one,
though.
I have one of my friends.
I was just watching herInstagram and have one of my
friends.
I was just watching herInstagram and she said you know,
of course this would happen.
I literally messaged.
She said not, of course.
She said busted.
And I'm like, yeah, thatlanguage boo.
That that's just solidifyingyour beliefs.
This is just a fun littleone-off that you can take today.
(24:51):
Listen to the way you speak,listen to how you solidify the
beliefs over and over and overagain, and you eat, eat that
shit up, and you're like, ofcourse, it's another red light.
Every time I come down thisroad, it's a red light, and then
the next one's gonna be red.
And of course, this guy pullsout in front of me and goes so
slow, nobody wants me to get towhere I want to go, and the
universe is over here like, okay, that's what you love, we're
gonna give you some more of it,great.
(25:12):
And then we're gonna help yoube so frustrated and flustered
by things you cannot controlthat your next actions that you
take are not going to be in theway of enlightenment or
alignment or anything good, andso then it's just going to be
this domino effect and you'regoing to have all of these
things go wrong.
And then that way tonight whenyou lay in bed you can say see,
it didn't work.
And boom, you just created yourwhole fucking reality off of
(25:36):
somebody stopping at a red lightor going too slow in front of
you or whatever, just beingmindful of the words that you
use.
Language is powerful.
It is claiming, it is setting adeclaration.
Every time you speak it, I tellmy kids and my husband no, we
can't use, of course, in anegative way.
We can only use it in of course, I got paid today.
Of course, I got a complimenttoday.
We can only use it in of course, I got paid today.
(25:58):
Of course, I got a complimenttoday.
We only can use, we're onlyallowed to use it in a positive
way.
I better not hear them sayingjust my luck, of course, or
anything that pertains tosomething negative, because we
share our lives and I don't wantthat shit in my life.
Laura Nicole (26:12):
So Not around here
.
We are not condoning that inthis area.
Thank you, yeah, I didn't.
I mean, I say that a lot too.
I get like, oh, of course itturned out this way or of course
that happened or whatever, andit 99% of the time is a negative
.
But I think, at least for me, Ido it as a place of again
protecting myself Like it's notmy fault it went bad or it's not
(26:34):
my fault it didn't work out,because then that's my ego again
protecting me and keeping mesafe that it wasn't my fault.
It was X, Y and Z factoroutside of me.
Okay, superstars, we're going topause here.
This conversation is sofreaking good.
There are already so manytangible tips that you can go
implement to start building upyour belief right now, tips that
(26:59):
you can go implement to startbuilding up your belief right
now.
And there is still more to comefrom Jess.
But I want to honor thestructure of this podcast and
keep the episodes on the shorterside for you.
So if you are all in on workingon your mindset and you want to
hear Jess talk about how youcan build your very own ladder
of believability, Pop over andlisten to part two of this
(27:21):
interview in the next episodeand we will see you there.
Thanks for hanging out with metoday on your Virtual Assistant
Coach.
If you loved this episode, besure to share it with your best
friend, your sister or even yourfavorite coworker, who you know
wants to start making aflexible income.
I'll see you all next time.