January 29, 2024 • 39 mins
Have you ever ever woken up one day and asked yourself, "Where the heck has all the time gone?"
Maybe it's me reaching middle-age, or maybe I'm just feeling the weight of January, but I have some morbid news for you---nobody lives forever. The moment you've been waiting for may never come. It's up to you to decide how you want to shape yourself and your future. No more of this "I'll wait until xyz happens before I make this change." That only delays the life that has been waiting for you.
In this episode, I'm delivering another one of my famous kick-in-the-pants. Listen in to learn how there is no better time than now to start your journey because tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
Thank you so much for listening! I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If so, please leave a rating and review so we can spread the word to the women who need it the most. Below you'll find links to my website, social media, and resources for victims. If you believe you're in danger, please seek help immediately. There are people out there who want to help and who truly care. Myself included! You're worth so much more.
Also, some links in my show notes may be affiliate links. This means I earn a tiny amount of money if you buy a product I recommend. You should know, I never recommend crap.
Buy the You're Not Stuck book and start your journey today!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's time to wake up witches.
I'm your host, cat Adams, andI'm here to remind you that, no
matter where you're at in life,you're not stuck.
Oh, my goodness, it is so goodto be back on the mic.
(00:33):
It's been a hot minute andfirst of all, I need to
apologize for missing last week.
I am so incredibly sorry.
That is so not like me.
I was just not Feeling well atall.
I got sick when I got back fromNew York and then we were
snowed in for a week, and whenit snows in the south,
(00:56):
everything shuts down, so I hadto stay here, which you think,
oh, we have so much time.
No, bitches.
No, because I work from homedoes not mean I have a lot of
time.
I also had my daughter at home,so I was like I Was just not
good, not doing good, and I'mstill not really doing good, and
(01:19):
we're gonna talk about thathere in a minute.
But my apologies, I amincredibly sorry for missing
last week.
That's what I get for not batchrecording.
I just, you know, I had my tripin the holidays and everything
and I haven't had a weekend tobatch record.
I'm not batch recording todaybecause I got ish to do, but I
(01:39):
will batch record and get theship properly going soon, but I
wanted to apologize first.
Second of all, if you couldplease do me a favor.
So you know, algorithms prettymuch run everybody's life Right
now.
Apple's algorithm is just likenot being cool.
(02:00):
They changed something to whereit's like the downloads, your
podcast that you're following orwhatever, is not automatically
downloading, or something likethat.
So if you can go to to click onthe show and Then click on
those three little dots on theright hand corner, make sure you
say go to show if you'reclicking on this episode and
(02:23):
then click those three dots andthe top right hand corner, go to
settings and then go down todownloads where it says
automatically downloaded.
Sometimes those are set to offand that's why people are not
getting my show.
And you know I've got some wordsof wisdom, I got some nuggets
(02:45):
in here.
I would appreciate it if you'dshare my show and this.
You know all this work I putinto it can actually be gotten
into the hands of the women whoneed it most, right, those that
are feeling stuck.
So check that your download isset to all new episodes or it
can be set to default if youdon't want to bombard yourself.
(03:06):
That's the five latest episodes, but personally I like to set
off my favorite podcast to allnew episodes because you know
I'll forget.
I'm subscribed to a lot ofpodcasts and I don't want to
forget about something and justit fall off my radar.
While you're at it, make sureyou're following me as well and
(03:29):
sharing and liking and all thatgood stuff.
It really does help y'all and I.
I Put a lot of energy into this, which is kind of what I want
to get at Today a little bit.
But let me tell you first acouple things that has been
going on with me.
I don't think I mentioned thisin my last episode.
If I did, I'm sorry.
(03:50):
It's been a while since Irecorded that and I totally
forgot what I talked about.
But Go Read the book the powerby Naomi Alderman.
This freaking book.
Oh my god.
This is like one of those booksthat I Would have loved to have
(04:12):
written, and I believe I couldhave written because I have so
much feminine rage inside me.
Go check out this book if youhave feminine rage inside you
too.
I don't want to spoil it, butI'll just say it's about women
evolving To adapt to theviolence that we have for men.
So women get this power andwomen get the upper hand.
(04:34):
Holy shit balls.
It is like glorious to evenimagine this world and I mean
there's a lot of drama and stuffand you know, maybe some stuff
wasn't handled the way I wouldhandle it if I had some power,
but it's still good and it's sogood they actually made it into
a mini series on TV that I thinkaired Last year.
(04:58):
I watched the first episode.
It was okay.
I haven't watched anymore cuzI've been in this mood and the
book was so good Like I wentthrough it in a week and I was
staying up late to read it andBooks just don't do that much to
me anymore Like it has to bereally, really good.
So it had me on the edge of myseat.
It was so girl power and, yeah,the show.
(05:23):
I just Now that I've read thebook.
I was excited to watch the showbut then I got in this weird
funk and it was stressing me out.
So that's that.
I have been doing my likede-stressing thing at night.
You know where I'm having mylittle mocktail or my cookie and
my hot cocoa or whatever andjust trying to decompress
(05:49):
because I Don't know.
I heard the term gentle Januaryin December and I'm like I'm
gonna give myself a gentleJanuary and I'm trying, but I
think just a bunch of shit hitme at once and I don't know
what's going on.
I don't know if it's likemidlife or whatnot, but the
today, the show, will be aboutlike get your ass up, get moving
(06:12):
, stop wasting your years.
And that's coming from like meand my funk and what I'm feeling
and like I Don't know.
I don't know.
I have this Restless energyinside me and it's not like that
restless energy when you're inalignment and things are falling
into place.
I've only had that two, maybethree times in my life.
(06:34):
When I did this likeManifestation journey which, if
you don't know about, go back inthe previous episodes we talked
about manifestation I was notplanning on doing it this year.
I didn't even create a visionboard this year, y'all.
Because I'm like this year Ineed to take care of myself,
because I have Like ran myselfinto the ground.
(06:55):
Since my divorce, I havepublished 20 books.
Okay, I've been divorced likethree and a half, four years,
something around there.
I have published 20 books.
I have done a lot of podcasts.
That was started last year, butI have tried to do it every
(07:16):
single week.
I think I've only missed twowhen I'm being last week.
So, apologies, there I havedone.
I started a freelance business.
I have, like, oh my god, threeor four different websites.
Business is going.
I volunteer I recently signedon to volunteer with BTSADV for
(07:42):
six months, because they do likesix months interval.
So I'm learning there andthat's Break the Silence Against
Domestic Violence, and lastweek I was a guest on their
podcast that's gonna air onYouTube.
I don't know when sometime inFebruary but you'll get to see
me talking on YouTube aboutBreak the Silence for Domestic
Violence.
I'll let you know more when Iam no more.
(08:04):
But yeah, so I have alsostarted working full-time after
being a stay-at-home mom and inthat time I've gotten I have
lost track it's five or sixpromotions in the past two years
because I've been with thiscompany for two years.
So I learned last week and thisis, you know, wasn't last week,
(08:28):
I think it was a week beforelast, yeah, it was a week before
last when I was doing the guestspeaker thing and then I had
got my merit increase, rewardstuff for my previous work in
2023, which was awesome becauseI revolutionized my department.
And then I won a freaking award.
(08:51):
We have this like quarterlyaward that goes out called a
Legacy Award.
I do like people who have thefirm's core values in mind and
like have just killed it,basically, and I am very
achievement driven.
I've been winning that award,y'all, and I'm like I gotta get
(09:12):
that award One day.
I want to get that award.
I freaking got that award andlike they my amazing co-workers
and leaders who nominated me forthat award had the kindest
things to say about me y'all,because they do this whole video
honoring you and they were justlike you know, I'm an
inspiration.
(09:33):
I'm an advocate.
Like where I work, I do someadvocate work and outside of
work, obviously, all this stuffI do advocacy work and I just
like broke down crime and yeah,I held it in.
I had a resting bitch face whenI accepted that award, because
it's like I was on a team's callwith you know, like four or
(09:55):
five hundred other people, Ithink, I don't know.
There's a lot of people inthere and I was trying so hard
not to cry, so I probably looklike a bitch, but it was just
because I was holding back tears.
So I got that award and then Igot a promotion and I start my
new job tomorrow, or my new rolesame company.
Now I will be doing heading upnot just one department but two,
(10:18):
maybe three in the future, andI have like I'm breaking down
y'all, like I am doing too muchand that's hard for me to admit
and I know I've said it beforebut at this point I can't.
I can't do a vision board, Ican't do manifestation, I have
put any writing on pause.
(10:39):
I'm concentrating on learning,like operational stuff for my
job, because that is what bringsme in the money.
I am concentrating on outsidevolunteer work because I want to
make those connections and Iwant to learn more about the
industry and domestic violenceand like the nonprofit area, and
(11:00):
so I'm doing all the stuff atonce and I know I'm forgetting
stuff in there.
Like y'all.
I'm also doing the wife and momthings.
You know I'm trying to be a momto a preteen.
She'll be 13 here in April andwe have no vacations plan this
year, because this year is justlike hunkering down, focusing on
(11:20):
ourselves, paying some billsoff, and I don't know how I'm
gonna survive, because you knowhow I feel about being here in
the south, so I think it's alljust like getting to me.
Plus, I quit drinking.
Well, I didn't quit drinking.
I became sober.
Curious, I did dry January, notgonna lie.
I had champagne.
And then I went out to Mexicanand had a margarita and
(11:42):
celebrated when I got mypromotion and my legacy award.
And that week I was the guestspeaker because I felt good.
I felt good and that I feltvery grateful and accomplished.
But I have this restless energyy'all I don't know where it's
coming from and it's not.
It's not a bad energy, but it'snot a good like something
(12:06):
amazing is about to happen,manifestation energy, which I
know you're like bitch, you justgot promotion, award, like
merit stuff.
You're doing guest speaker, butwith something.
Something's just unsettling meright now and I don't know.
I don't know like I'm trulytrying to slow down this year
(12:29):
and take the time to figure outwhat's going on and to build
myself and to build what Ireally where I really want to go
, and that takes a lot ofthought.
So I can't be like producing,producing, producing and you
know, going, going, going andeverything I've been doing.
I just I don't have a capacityin me right now.
(12:51):
So I am working on everything Ihave on my plate and putting
putting some stuff on Paul's,mainly like expectations from
myself, and I'm just going withthe flow.
This year is just I'm goingwith the flow, or at least I'm
trying to.
(13:12):
So I've got you know, I did mywhole office makeover.
Part of this unsettled energy isnow I want to do my whole house
and if you know me, I'm alwaysI need to create.
I am a creative.
If you know anything about thein your room, I'm a four-wing
three to a tee.
My friggin environment, mysurroundings affect me so much
(13:39):
like I need a beautifulaesthetic Atmosphere, I Know.
Is that some bratty like?
Does that sound?
Oh, your so spoiled Blah, blah,blah.
No, it's not about like a luxurywhatever, like we've been
thrifting, we have beenantiquing.
I just need more me in thishouse.
(14:01):
And this house is like the graywalls, the white kitchen, all
that stuff.
I'm so freaking sick of it.
And so I'm like I want to redothe great room, I want to do the
bedroom, I'm gonna tear thiscarpet up, I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna do that.
And then the other part of meis like no, you want to move,
you want to sell this house.
Stop, you know, stop doing that.
(14:22):
But I'm like we're still up inthe air when we can move,
because several differentreasons, and so I'm like, if I'm
gonna stay here and I need tofix it up.
But so I'm going back and forthand I have this energy inside
me where I need to createsomething and Not mental create
something.
I need to create something withmy hands in this house and it's
(14:43):
been bothering me shit out ofme.
And I think a lot of that'sgoing back to what today's topic
is about.
I know it's 15 minutes in, buttoday's topic is about Getting
off your ass and stop wastingyour time and I know I've done a
couple episodes about thisBecause it is so freaking true.
(15:08):
I have wasted so many years.
I wasted 15 of my best years,from the time I was 20 to 35,
being a servant to a man whotreated me like shit.
I could have been creating allthe things.
If I look, if I can create whatI have created in the past 234
years and that 15 years, holyshit, maybe I could be a
(15:30):
millionaire by now.
All right, cuz I know myselfand I I get shit done.
Obviously I Like I love doingoutreach stuff.
I could have changed more lives.
I could have just Fucking beenamazing, but I wasted 15 years,
all right, and I see peoplearound me all the time they're
(15:52):
wasting away too.
So yesterday was rough.
Yesterday I went to Arkansas tovisit my mom.
I have not been over to herhouse in over 10 years.
I was like her birthday iscoming up.
You know I need to do somethinggood.
So me and my daughter, myhusband, went to go visit my mom
.
On the way back, our batterylight came on about three hours.
(16:16):
She lives about three hoursfrom my house and we're stupid.
Okay.
We were like, oh, okay, we'lljust like get a new battery when
we get home.
We got stuck in fucking EarlArkansas, all right, I, it was
(16:36):
cold, it was raining, earlArkansas, there's like nothing
there.
Thankfully we made it to a gasstation, but we were out in the
middle of bump back and it wasrough, like almost had a
breakdown, because who wants toget stuck in like the middle of
(17:01):
nowhere?
And your car, it's cold, yourcars, dad and Plus, like, oh my
god, I just put a new tire onthat car and like you know,
money, money, money is everytime I turn around like spending
money and I'm trying to likeget my shit together and I was
just not having it.
Thankfully, I have a greatsupport system, like my dad.
(17:24):
I can call him up and he willbe there no matter what, and he
was.
He drove all the way over thereTo help me, and my uncle, who
lived not too far from Earl,also came to help me.
So like I'm super grateful,grateful for having that support
system.
Now, when my uncle picked me up,he had some words of wisdom.
(17:46):
We were talking about age.
He's like, oh, you're 40 nowand I was like, yeah, he's like,
oh, that's not bad, it's notbad.
50s is when it gets bad.
So, enjoy those 10 years.
And he was being he wasn'tbeing malicious, but he was
being like kind of serious too,you know, but he was, he's so
easygoing.
This uncle is so easygoing,he's great.
(18:08):
He's like, oh, it'll be okay,it'll, you know, it'll be okay,
everything's gonna turn out.
And then yada, yada, yada.
But I'm like, shit, enjoy those10 years.
10 years that goes by so fast.
And my husband just turned 45last week and so he's like Shit,
(18:30):
I got five years Now.
I know the end of the world isnot when you turn 50, but that's
it.
If you think about that number,that's like oh, 50.
Now we want to do things likeclimb mountains and I don't know
.
Like Not anything crazy, likeskydiving, but active shit.
(18:51):
And we have lived in Tennesseeour whole lives and you know
where I'm getting at this.
We want to move to the PacificNorthwest and we are like
growing older and we're notgonna be able to do the active
things that we have wanted to doour whole life Because we have
wasted so many years.
We have wasted so many yearsand, if you think about it, five
(19:11):
and ten years goes by soFreakin fast, so freaking fast.
I can't believe my daughter isalmost 13.
Like, it seems like she was ababy yesterday and in five years
she's gonna be 18.
She's gonna be an adult.
Oh my god.
Like.
And I'm gonna be 45.
(19:33):
Now I know people are like whenyou turn 40, stuff starts
falling apart and you're like,haha, they're being so funny.
Oh my god, it's true, it's true, that's also probably part of
my phone.
Like I've been having someelements, y'all Some elements,
and I'm like no, and I thinkit's hitting me hard that fuck,
I better get home with shit,like I'm not going to be you
(19:59):
know this Person who can likephysically, do all this stuff
for so long, like I have been.
I'm running at 150 miles anhour the past four years since
my divorce and I've been lovingit, but I Don't have that much
Like Time and I know there'speople listening to this and I'm
(20:23):
like now you do to your 60 and70.
No, seriously, like I want todo this stuff before I'm 50
because the the truth is your,your body does change.
It really changes, and youcan't stop it.
Like Two days after my husbandturned 45.
He's like had he woke up atthree in the morning with this
(20:45):
really horrible pain in his hipand and I mean he was like, oh
my gosh, the last he said thathappened before and he had a
good physical therapy for itwhen he was younger.
But he's like, oh my gosh.
And then he was happy and hewas hurt and he was like, oh my
gosh, it's the start.
It's a start like we're notgonna be capable of doing the
(21:05):
things that we've always done atsome point in our life and that
point is Coming closer andcloser to all of us.
Now.
You might not want to hike upmountains or go kayaking 10
miles and a choppy river andthat's fun.
But the point is your life isstill getting closer and closer
(21:30):
and closer to death, that wasmore.
It's getting closer and closerto a time where you will be too
Old to do some of those things.
And I know people say at any ageyou can write a book.
You know most bestsellers startwhen people are 52 and yeah,
(21:52):
all that stuff for sure.
But you have to start now.
You have to make changes now.
I know plenty of people, plentyof people that are older, in
their 70s, 80s and even 90s,even 90s.
(22:14):
We know someone in their 90swho has regrets.
They're like I wish I couldhave gone out west when I was
younger.
I wish I could have seen allthat.
I wish I could have seen themountains, I wish I could have,
you know, like, Hiked throughredwood forest and seen all the
national parks.
But they can't now because theyhave mobility issues and that's
(22:41):
gotta suck.
Can you imagine knowing likeDeath is at any time coming?
If you're, you know, up therein years, death is coming at any
time and there's things on thisearth that you didn't get to do
Now that doesn't bother somepeople because they are
(23:02):
religious and they feel liketheir reward is an afterlife.
Me, I'm not religious, so theafterlife is just black and so I
need to do this shit now and sodo you, no matter what you
believe.
And I'm not talking just aboutlike these people that are older
and they have all these regrets, and especially especially oh
(23:25):
my gosh, I know older women whoare like They've been in just
these dead marriages for so longand it, you know, their husband
will die or whatever, andthey're like I don't ever want
another man.
I'm blah, blah, blah.
I think fun.
It's like you.
(23:45):
You cheated yourself out of a,a life of Passion and joy in a
marriage that was just so likeFire.
Basically because you can getthat, trust me, you can get that
(24:06):
.
I have that and I Will screamit from the rooftops.
Like I've been in a deadmarriage and you know, four
years still with my man and it'sLike still not even face All
right and it's not gonna let upbecause we were both committed
to that and you can find that.
You can find that and there'speople who go through their
(24:31):
whole life without that and thatfreaking sucks.
You're cheating yourself out ofthese years.
You have like because you'recomplacent or or scared to make
a change, because you're stuck.
Right, you feel like you'restuck but we're not.
We are not stuck and I've beentrying to figure out like when
(24:57):
this podcast is going in thefuture, like my mission, and
I've got all that now down andremember I was talking about
like how, when the first earlyepisodes I wanted to be more
about, you know, womenempowerment instead of about Men
and toxic men.
But there will be coming up.
We'll be going through the bookby Matt Lundy.
Why does he do that?
(25:17):
Because I think you need toknow what's going on with your
toxic partner who's keeping youin these situations.
At the same time, I'm stillbuilding you up and trying to
Help you realize why you'rekeeping yourself in these
situations, so kind of gotsidetracked there.
But that is coming up becauseyou need to know everything
(25:39):
about the situation.
You know what's going on in hismind and what's going on in
your mind and I'm telling youright now Think about it.
I don't know how old you are, Idon't know.
I think I've got listeners ofall different ages, but I think
most of them are in their 30s,40s and I think people don't
slow down enough to realizeYou're not gonna be on this
earth forever, like, really,unfortunately, you're not going
(26:05):
to be on this earth forever.
You don't know when your timeis coming.
And I've lost a handful ofpeople over the past year,
surprisingly, like people out ofnowhere, like Even young people
, and I'm thinking, oh my gosh,like Did they?
(26:27):
You know?
I hope they live their life tothe fullest.
I know some of them probablydid not and now it's gone.
And I think you need to getmorbid like that.
I think you really need to getmorbid and think about your own
mortality and how you have alimited time to do stuff.
(26:50):
You have a limited time beforenot even before you die, but
before you get too old to dostuff and that starts happening.
It truly does in your 40s.
They don't call it over thehill just to be funny.
Like, seriously, a lot of stuffin your body it just goes to
shit in your 40s and it doesn'trecover.
(27:12):
Don't be like other people whowait and wait and wait until the
right time.
Don't be like me, who wasted mybest years y'all 20 to 35.
I was stuck in that toxic shit.
I could have been exploring theworld, I could have been like,
(27:36):
oh my God, I could have had like100 books written in that time.
You know, like seriously,that's not even exaggerating,
maybe even more because I'mpretty prolific when I get to
start writing.
But yeah, that's what I wantedto talk about today.
Just, I was going to start onthe book by Matt Lundy, because
I've been reading it and takingnotes so I can share it with
(27:58):
y'all, and it's got some goodstuff in there.
It's all, like you know, insidethe mind of an abuser which, if
you haven't read this book, gopick it up.
I'm going to give a lot ofnotes on it here in the next
several episodes.
But it's you are going to askyourself all the time like I
(28:21):
don't understand.
I know I said this in myabusive marriage.
All the time, I don'tunderstand, I don't understand.
You know what is it about me?
It's going to explain all thisand just I think it should be
required reading for everysingle woman for all.
But we'll get onto that in abit.
I just needed to get this outnow because of this horrible
(28:44):
energy I have been feeling andI'm trying to figure that out
myself.
So I've been just strugglingwith like I do too much and I
only have a limited number ofyears left to be like as
physical as I want to be.
And you know that also playsinto mental space.
(29:06):
I'm trying to figure out whereI'm going.
Like I feel stuck.
I feel stuck in Tennessee and alot of people are like, oh well
, it's not so bad.
Yeah, if you're not from theSouth, I don't think people
quite understand the quality oflife here.
(29:27):
I really don't Like.
If you are a person who doesnot fit into status quo here,
it's mentally damaging and thatdrains you physically.
The people in the deep Souththey build their life around
(29:52):
politics and religion.
You can't have a conversationwith someone without them
bringing up let's go, brandon,or how they love the convicted
rapist Trump.
I'm serious.
Strangers and because I'm whitepeople also love to talk to me
(30:17):
about black people and Mexicansand how they're ruining
everything.
I'm serious.
They're openly racist here andthey identify and label
themselves their whole existenceis based on I can't think of
the word I'm looking for isbased on politics and it is a
(30:41):
challenge being around that.
And also they throw religioninto it too.
You have to belong to churches.
It's very culty and then thechurches lead into the politics
and you can't even have aconversation with strangers
(31:02):
without them interjecting thingslike that.
God and Jesus is coming back,and the deeper in the South you
go, the more fucked up it is.
The end of the world is coming.
I've been hearing that my wholelife.
The end of the world is comingtomorrow.
You better get yourself rightwith Jesus.
The racist shit.
(31:22):
It's truly like that.
If you have not been to theSouth, I do not recommend going
Now.
Are there good places and goodpeople in the South?
Fuck, yes, yes, as is anywhere,right, but it is a different
world and I didn't know howdifferent until I started
traveling, which a lot of peoplearound here should do to open
(31:43):
up their eyes.
It doesn't matter what you tellthese people.
You can say this guy is blue,but they literally have Fox News
playing on the background.
You know how subliminals work.
We've talked about subliminals.
I love subliminals.
It's like you know when you'relistening to beautiful music but
in the background someone'swhispering like you're going to
(32:04):
be a millionaire, you're goingto be a millionaire.
Fox News is their subliminals.
They have it going 24-7.
Even if they're not absorbingit, even if they're cooking or
whatever and talking.
It's subliminally in their headgoing about how, like you know,
you should be controlled byfear.
All right, like you, fearmotivates you.
(32:26):
Be afraid of lefties, be afraidof women, be afraid of black
people in Mexicans.
Oh my gosh, you know theworld's going to just explode if
you don't shout your you loveJesus.
I don't know, it is like thatdown here.
No-transcript, and for anybodywho's like, yes, again, there's
(32:49):
pockets and places like thataren't so bad.
But also, like you know, I'mnot even getting into the crime.
I'm not even getting to thecrime.
I'm not getting to the qualityof education I'm not getting
into.
There's not shit here to dobecause it's the south and
there's no like beautifulmountains Now, you have
beautiful mountains and likeGatlinburg and Asheville and
areas around there, yes, butalso it's still, you know,
(33:12):
you're in mega territory, whichIs just a quality of life I
cannot get behind.
Seriously, when we were drivingthrough Arkansas yesterday, I
saw billboards that was like Doyou know where you're going when
you die, which is intimidationand religious abuse.
(33:32):
Let me just say that, and I seethis all the time whenever
we're driving around the south,there's, like you know, god's
watching you billboards and Isaw one one time when we were
going through actually I thinkit was Kansas, it was a
billboard and it was just like areally angry looking Jesus
going through the cornfields.
I don't know why, he justlooked really angry.
Anyways, religious abuse Hello,we've talked about that before
(33:52):
and intimidation.
And then also we saw some signthat was like deposit Biden
votes here, and it was like inthis middle of a field whole
thing, and lots of you knowTrump, trumpy flags, and I've
seen billboards that say likewhite radio, it's not even a
thing.
It sounds so KKK-ish and justeverywhere like let's go,
(34:17):
brandon.
You know, fuck Joe Biden.
And when I've been out west, Ididn't see that.
I didn't see anything like thatOn the on the blue side of
places.
Now I went through some redplaces out west and I saw it.
I was like, ooh, I feel like Irun the South again.
But anyways, I don't know I'mgetting off here because I said
I feel stuck in Tennessee and alot of people are like, well,
(34:40):
you know, that might not be sobad for me.
It's bad because I do notSubscribed any of those beliefs
and ways of life and I don't.
That's not my values.
So, yes, for me it is verydamaging and bad.
And I have to tell myself I'mnot stuck.
I can make.
I can make Action steps to getout of here, which I am doing,
(35:01):
you know.
But I think it's also part ofthat restless energy.
I'll say it's an election year,so that doesn't help.
So I'm figuring my shit outwhile you figure your shit out.
And we both know now that wehave a limited number of years
to figure this shit out and thelonger we wait, the closer we
edge toward getting to a pointwhere it's too late to figure
(35:24):
our shit out.
I don't care what anybody sayslike, oh, you can go back to
school when you're 70, blah.
But who the fuck wants to goback to school to get a degree,
to earn more money when you're70?
Because what, you're gonna earnmore money when you're 70?
You're gonna be making like sixfigures with this new degree
which we all know in America.
That's bullshit, because thatwhole degree stuff is the line.
You're just gonna be in studentdebt.
But say, you feel like you'regonna be making six figures when
(35:46):
you're 70.
What the fuck are you gonna dowithout six figures?
Like you're 70, like you can'tgo out, you know, and go on like
a week-long hike to MountOlympia or whatever, I don't
know.
Give it to your kids.
That's a noble cause, I agreewith that one.
But come on, you can enjoy lifeas much when you're Older, you
(36:09):
just can't.
I mean, you can enjoy it butit's not gonna be, it's not the
same and I don't care who everis like oh, you know it is, and
you can still Know there'sdefinitely cons and stuff that's
gonna slow you down and youcan't get around that.
So why, you're young and ableMentally and physically, get
(36:30):
your ass up and start makingchange.
Do the shit you want to do,starting now, not saying, oh,
I'm waiting till Monday to startmy diet, no bitch, you're gonna
do it now.
You're going to start crushingthose goals today.
You're gonna make a plan andyou're not gonna wait any longer
.
Because I'm being real with youand other people are like toxic
positivity and oh, you know,you've got all this time on
(36:53):
earth.
You don't, you don't, andthat's all I got today.
I'm sorry if this was a morbidPodcast.
It was like out of the blue forme.
I truly is gonna talk aboutthese toxic men today, but I
need you to know some of theselessons I've learned in the past
year.
Don't be like me.
Don't hit your 40s and you'relike, wow, I've got a handful of
(37:17):
years left to do the physicalthings I want to do, because
that's a life goal for me.
Might not be for you and that'sokay, but I Could have done
that in those 15 years.
I was stuck in a shitty assmarriage.
I could have been being thisperson I am today, who's rare
and ready to go and loving lifeand being in this passionate,
(37:40):
loving marriage with a supportsystem and Doing all these
things.
And I Did not get to do thatand it was just.
You know it sucks.
You get regrets and you need tolive your life with no regrets.
So get started today.
I Hope you can't relate to thisat all because I don't want
(38:01):
that for you, but if you canrelate to this, I hope you found
these little words of wisdomand these nuggets I've given you
to be helpful, because You'renot stuck, but you are Getting
old bitch.
So Get your shit together andgo fucking live your life.
(38:26):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you love the show, pleaseleave a rating, a review, and if
you know anyone who also mightlove the show or who could
benefit from this information,please be sure to Share it and
subscribe.
The more we get this out topeople, the more people we can
help, and I truly believethere's so many women who need
(38:49):
to hear these words, because somany women are feeling stuck.
Also, if you're looking for me,you can usually find me on the
ground, at author cat Adams, andbe sure to head over to my
website and that's cat AdamsAdams with a double D's comm.
Subscribe to my newsletter forthe latest information.
Also, when you subscribe,you're gonna get free novella.
(39:10):
And Just be forewarned, myRanty rom-com is as dirty as my
mouth.
So if that's your thing, go forit.
It's super hilarious.
But thank you again for tuningin.
Until next time, please staysafe and I'll see you on the
other side.
It's time to wake up witches.
I'm your host, cat Adams, andI'm here to remind you that, no
matter where you're at in life,you're not stuck.
Oh, my goodness, it is so goodto be back on the mic.
(00:33):
It's been a hot minute andfirst of all, I need to
apologize for missing last week.
I am so incredibly sorry.
That is so not like me.
I was just not Feeling well atall.
I got sick when I got back fromNew York and then we were
snowed in for a week, and whenit snows in the south,
(00:56):
everything shuts down, so I hadto stay here, which you think,
oh, we have so much time.
No, bitches.
No, because I work from homedoes not mean I have a lot of
time.
I also had my daughter at home,so I was like I Was just not
good, not doing good, and I'mstill not really doing good, and
(01:19):
we're gonna talk about thathere in a minute.
But my apologies, I amincredibly sorry for missing
last week.
That's what I get for not batchrecording.
I just, you know, I had my tripin the holidays and everything
and I haven't had a weekend tobatch record.
I'm not batch recording todaybecause I got ish to do, but I
(01:39):
will batch record and get theship properly going soon, but I
wanted to apologize first.
Second of all, if you couldplease do me a favor.
So you know, algorithms prettymuch run everybody's life Right
now.
Apple's algorithm is just likenot being cool.
(02:00):
They changed something to whereit's like the downloads, your
podcast that you're following orwhatever, is not automatically
downloading, or something likethat.
So if you can go to to click onthe show and Then click on
those three little dots on theright hand corner, make sure you
say go to show if you'reclicking on this episode and
(02:23):
then click those three dots andthe top right hand corner, go to
settings and then go down todownloads where it says
automatically downloaded.
Sometimes those are set to offand that's why people are not
getting my show.
And you know I've got some wordsof wisdom, I got some nuggets
(02:45):
in here.
I would appreciate it if you'dshare my show and this.
You know all this work I putinto it can actually be gotten
into the hands of the women whoneed it most, right, those that
are feeling stuck.
So check that your download isset to all new episodes or it
can be set to default if youdon't want to bombard yourself.
(03:06):
That's the five latest episodes, but personally I like to set
off my favorite podcast to allnew episodes because you know
I'll forget.
I'm subscribed to a lot ofpodcasts and I don't want to
forget about something and justit fall off my radar.
While you're at it, make sureyou're following me as well and
(03:29):
sharing and liking and all thatgood stuff.
It really does help y'all and I.
I Put a lot of energy into this, which is kind of what I want
to get at Today a little bit.
But let me tell you first acouple things that has been
going on with me.
I don't think I mentioned thisin my last episode.
If I did, I'm sorry.
(03:50):
It's been a while since Irecorded that and I totally
forgot what I talked about.
But Go Read the book the powerby Naomi Alderman.
This freaking book.
Oh my god.
This is like one of those booksthat I Would have loved to have
(04:12):
written, and I believe I couldhave written because I have so
much feminine rage inside me.
Go check out this book if youhave feminine rage inside you
too.
I don't want to spoil it, butI'll just say it's about women
evolving To adapt to theviolence that we have for men.
So women get this power andwomen get the upper hand.
(04:34):
Holy shit balls.
It is like glorious to evenimagine this world and I mean
there's a lot of drama and stuffand you know, maybe some stuff
wasn't handled the way I wouldhandle it if I had some power,
but it's still good and it's sogood they actually made it into
a mini series on TV that I thinkaired Last year.
(04:58):
I watched the first episode.
It was okay.
I haven't watched anymore cuzI've been in this mood and the
book was so good Like I wentthrough it in a week and I was
staying up late to read it andBooks just don't do that much to
me anymore Like it has to bereally, really good.
So it had me on the edge of myseat.
It was so girl power and, yeah,the show.
(05:23):
I just Now that I've read thebook.
I was excited to watch the showbut then I got in this weird
funk and it was stressing me out.
So that's that.
I have been doing my likede-stressing thing at night.
You know where I'm having mylittle mocktail or my cookie and
my hot cocoa or whatever andjust trying to decompress
(05:49):
because I Don't know.
I heard the term gentle Januaryin December and I'm like I'm
gonna give myself a gentleJanuary and I'm trying, but I
think just a bunch of shit hitme at once and I don't know
what's going on.
I don't know if it's likemidlife or whatnot, but the
today, the show, will be aboutlike get your ass up, get moving
(06:12):
, stop wasting your years.
And that's coming from like meand my funk and what I'm feeling
and like I Don't know.
I don't know.
I have this Restless energyinside me and it's not like that
restless energy when you're inalignment and things are falling
into place.
I've only had that two, maybethree times in my life.
(06:34):
When I did this likeManifestation journey which, if
you don't know about, go back inthe previous episodes we talked
about manifestation I was notplanning on doing it this year.
I didn't even create a visionboard this year, y'all.
Because I'm like this year Ineed to take care of myself,
because I have Like ran myselfinto the ground.
(06:55):
Since my divorce, I havepublished 20 books.
Okay, I've been divorced likethree and a half, four years,
something around there.
I have published 20 books.
I have done a lot of podcasts.
That was started last year, butI have tried to do it every
(07:16):
single week.
I think I've only missed twowhen I'm being last week.
So, apologies, there I havedone.
I started a freelance business.
I have, like, oh my god, threeor four different websites.
Business is going.
I volunteer I recently signedon to volunteer with BTSADV for
(07:42):
six months, because they do likesix months interval.
So I'm learning there andthat's Break the Silence Against
Domestic Violence, and lastweek I was a guest on their
podcast that's gonna air onYouTube.
I don't know when sometime inFebruary but you'll get to see
me talking on YouTube aboutBreak the Silence for Domestic
Violence.
I'll let you know more when Iam no more.
(08:04):
But yeah, so I have alsostarted working full-time after
being a stay-at-home mom and inthat time I've gotten I have
lost track it's five or sixpromotions in the past two years
because I've been with thiscompany for two years.
So I learned last week and thisis, you know, wasn't last week,
(08:28):
I think it was a week beforelast, yeah, it was a week before
last when I was doing the guestspeaker thing and then I had
got my merit increase, rewardstuff for my previous work in
2023, which was awesome becauseI revolutionized my department.
And then I won a freaking award.
(08:51):
We have this like quarterlyaward that goes out called a
Legacy Award.
I do like people who have thefirm's core values in mind and
like have just killed it,basically, and I am very
achievement driven.
I've been winning that award,y'all, and I'm like I gotta get
(09:12):
that award One day.
I want to get that award.
I freaking got that award andlike they my amazing co-workers
and leaders who nominated me forthat award had the kindest
things to say about me y'all,because they do this whole video
honoring you and they were justlike you know, I'm an
inspiration.
(09:33):
I'm an advocate.
Like where I work, I do someadvocate work and outside of
work, obviously, all this stuffI do advocacy work and I just
like broke down crime and yeah,I held it in.
I had a resting bitch face whenI accepted that award, because
it's like I was on a team's callwith you know, like four or
(09:55):
five hundred other people, Ithink, I don't know.
There's a lot of people inthere and I was trying so hard
not to cry, so I probably looklike a bitch, but it was just
because I was holding back tears.
So I got that award and then Igot a promotion and I start my
new job tomorrow, or my new rolesame company.
Now I will be doing heading upnot just one department but two,
(10:18):
maybe three in the future, andI have like I'm breaking down
y'all, like I am doing too muchand that's hard for me to admit
and I know I've said it beforebut at this point I can't.
I can't do a vision board, Ican't do manifestation, I have
put any writing on pause.
(10:39):
I'm concentrating on learning,like operational stuff for my
job, because that is what bringsme in the money.
I am concentrating on outsidevolunteer work because I want to
make those connections and Iwant to learn more about the
industry and domestic violenceand like the nonprofit area, and
(11:00):
so I'm doing all the stuff atonce and I know I'm forgetting
stuff in there.
Like y'all.
I'm also doing the wife and momthings.
You know I'm trying to be a momto a preteen.
She'll be 13 here in April andwe have no vacations plan this
year, because this year is justlike hunkering down, focusing on
(11:20):
ourselves, paying some billsoff, and I don't know how I'm
gonna survive, because you knowhow I feel about being here in
the south, so I think it's alljust like getting to me.
Plus, I quit drinking.
Well, I didn't quit drinking.
I became sober.
Curious, I did dry January, notgonna lie.
I had champagne.
And then I went out to Mexicanand had a margarita and
(11:42):
celebrated when I got mypromotion and my legacy award.
And that week I was the guestspeaker because I felt good.
I felt good and that I feltvery grateful and accomplished.
But I have this restless energyy'all I don't know where it's
coming from and it's not.
It's not a bad energy, but it'snot a good like something
(12:06):
amazing is about to happen,manifestation energy, which I
know you're like bitch, you justgot promotion, award, like
merit stuff.
You're doing guest speaker, butwith something.
Something's just unsettling meright now and I don't know.
I don't know like I'm trulytrying to slow down this year
(12:29):
and take the time to figure outwhat's going on and to build
myself and to build what Ireally where I really want to go
, and that takes a lot ofthought.
So I can't be like producing,producing, producing and you
know, going, going, going andeverything I've been doing.
I just I don't have a capacityin me right now.
(12:51):
So I am working on everything Ihave on my plate and putting
putting some stuff on Paul's,mainly like expectations from
myself, and I'm just going withthe flow.
This year is just I'm goingwith the flow, or at least I'm
trying to.
(13:12):
So I've got you know, I did mywhole office makeover.
Part of this unsettled energy isnow I want to do my whole house
and if you know me, I'm alwaysI need to create.
I am a creative.
If you know anything about thein your room, I'm a four-wing
three to a tee.
My friggin environment, mysurroundings affect me so much
(13:39):
like I need a beautifulaesthetic Atmosphere, I Know.
Is that some bratty like?
Does that sound?
Oh, your so spoiled Blah, blah,blah.
No, it's not about like a luxurywhatever, like we've been
thrifting, we have beenantiquing.
I just need more me in thishouse.
(14:01):
And this house is like the graywalls, the white kitchen, all
that stuff.
I'm so freaking sick of it.
And so I'm like I want to redothe great room, I want to do the
bedroom, I'm gonna tear thiscarpet up, I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna do that.
And then the other part of meis like no, you want to move,
you want to sell this house.
Stop, you know, stop doing that.
(14:22):
But I'm like we're still up inthe air when we can move,
because several differentreasons, and so I'm like, if I'm
gonna stay here and I need tofix it up.
But so I'm going back and forthand I have this energy inside
me where I need to createsomething and Not mental create
something.
I need to create something withmy hands in this house and it's
(14:43):
been bothering me shit out ofme.
And I think a lot of that'sgoing back to what today's topic
is about.
I know it's 15 minutes in, buttoday's topic is about Getting
off your ass and stop wastingyour time and I know I've done a
couple episodes about thisBecause it is so freaking true.
(15:08):
I have wasted so many years.
I wasted 15 of my best years,from the time I was 20 to 35,
being a servant to a man whotreated me like shit.
I could have been creating allthe things.
If I look, if I can create whatI have created in the past 234
years and that 15 years, holyshit, maybe I could be a
(15:30):
millionaire by now.
All right, cuz I know myselfand I I get shit done.
Obviously I Like I love doingoutreach stuff.
I could have changed more lives.
I could have just Fucking beenamazing, but I wasted 15 years,
all right, and I see peoplearound me all the time they're
(15:52):
wasting away too.
So yesterday was rough.
Yesterday I went to Arkansas tovisit my mom.
I have not been over to herhouse in over 10 years.
I was like her birthday iscoming up.
You know I need to do somethinggood.
So me and my daughter, myhusband, went to go visit my mom
.
On the way back, our batterylight came on about three hours.
(16:16):
She lives about three hoursfrom my house and we're stupid.
Okay.
We were like, oh, okay, we'lljust like get a new battery when
we get home.
We got stuck in fucking EarlArkansas, all right, I, it was
(16:36):
cold, it was raining, earlArkansas, there's like nothing
there.
Thankfully we made it to a gasstation, but we were out in the
middle of bump back and it wasrough, like almost had a
breakdown, because who wants toget stuck in like the middle of
(17:01):
nowhere?
And your car, it's cold, yourcars, dad and Plus, like, oh my
god, I just put a new tire onthat car and like you know,
money, money, money is everytime I turn around like spending
money and I'm trying to likeget my shit together and I was
just not having it.
Thankfully, I have a greatsupport system, like my dad.
(17:24):
I can call him up and he willbe there no matter what, and he
was.
He drove all the way over thereTo help me, and my uncle, who
lived not too far from Earl,also came to help me.
So like I'm super grateful,grateful for having that support
system.
Now, when my uncle picked me up,he had some words of wisdom.
(17:46):
We were talking about age.
He's like, oh, you're 40 nowand I was like, yeah, he's like,
oh, that's not bad, it's notbad.
50s is when it gets bad.
So, enjoy those 10 years.
And he was being he wasn'tbeing malicious, but he was
being like kind of serious too,you know, but he was, he's so
easygoing.
This uncle is so easygoing,he's great.
(18:08):
He's like, oh, it'll be okay,it'll, you know, it'll be okay,
everything's gonna turn out.
And then yada, yada, yada.
But I'm like, shit, enjoy those10 years.
10 years that goes by so fast.
And my husband just turned 45last week and so he's like Shit,
(18:30):
I got five years Now.
I know the end of the world isnot when you turn 50, but that's
it.
If you think about that number,that's like oh, 50.
Now we want to do things likeclimb mountains and I don't know
.
Like Not anything crazy, likeskydiving, but active shit.
(18:51):
And we have lived in Tennesseeour whole lives and you know
where I'm getting at this.
We want to move to the PacificNorthwest and we are like
growing older and we're notgonna be able to do the active
things that we have wanted to doour whole life Because we have
wasted so many years.
We have wasted so many yearsand, if you think about it, five
(19:11):
and ten years goes by soFreakin fast, so freaking fast.
I can't believe my daughter isalmost 13.
Like, it seems like she was ababy yesterday and in five years
she's gonna be 18.
She's gonna be an adult.
Oh my god.
Like.
And I'm gonna be 45.
(19:33):
Now I know people are like whenyou turn 40, stuff starts
falling apart and you're like,haha, they're being so funny.
Oh my god, it's true, it's true, that's also probably part of
my phone.
Like I've been having someelements, y'all Some elements,
and I'm like no, and I thinkit's hitting me hard that fuck,
I better get home with shit,like I'm not going to be you
(19:59):
know this Person who can likephysically, do all this stuff
for so long, like I have been.
I'm running at 150 miles anhour the past four years since
my divorce and I've been lovingit, but I Don't have that much
Like Time and I know there'speople listening to this and I'm
(20:23):
like now you do to your 60 and70.
No, seriously, like I want todo this stuff before I'm 50
because the the truth is your,your body does change.
It really changes, and youcan't stop it.
Like Two days after my husbandturned 45.
He's like had he woke up atthree in the morning with this
(20:45):
really horrible pain in his hipand and I mean he was like, oh
my gosh, the last he said thathappened before and he had a
good physical therapy for itwhen he was younger.
But he's like, oh my gosh.
And then he was happy and hewas hurt and he was like, oh my
gosh, it's the start.
It's a start like we're notgonna be capable of doing the
(21:05):
things that we've always done atsome point in our life and that
point is Coming closer andcloser to all of us.
Now.
You might not want to hike upmountains or go kayaking 10
miles and a choppy river andthat's fun.
But the point is your life isstill getting closer and closer
(21:30):
and closer to death, that wasmore.
It's getting closer and closerto a time where you will be too
Old to do some of those things.
And I know people say at any ageyou can write a book.
You know most bestsellers startwhen people are 52 and yeah,
(21:52):
all that stuff for sure.
But you have to start now.
You have to make changes now.
I know plenty of people, plentyof people that are older, in
their 70s, 80s and even 90s,even 90s.
(22:14):
We know someone in their 90swho has regrets.
They're like I wish I couldhave gone out west when I was
younger.
I wish I could have seen allthat.
I wish I could have seen themountains, I wish I could have,
you know, like, Hiked throughredwood forest and seen all the
national parks.
But they can't now because theyhave mobility issues and that's
(22:41):
gotta suck.
Can you imagine knowing likeDeath is at any time coming?
If you're, you know, up therein years, death is coming at any
time and there's things on thisearth that you didn't get to do
Now that doesn't bother somepeople because they are
(23:02):
religious and they feel liketheir reward is an afterlife.
Me, I'm not religious, so theafterlife is just black and so I
need to do this shit now and sodo you, no matter what you
believe.
And I'm not talking just aboutlike these people that are older
and they have all these regrets, and especially especially oh
(23:25):
my gosh, I know older women whoare like They've been in just
these dead marriages for so longand it, you know, their husband
will die or whatever, andthey're like I don't ever want
another man.
I'm blah, blah, blah.
I think fun.
It's like you.
(23:45):
You cheated yourself out of a,a life of Passion and joy in a
marriage that was just so likeFire.
Basically because you can getthat, trust me, you can get that
(24:06):
.
I have that and I Will screamit from the rooftops.
Like I've been in a deadmarriage and you know, four
years still with my man and it'sLike still not even face All
right and it's not gonna let upbecause we were both committed
to that and you can find that.
You can find that and there'speople who go through their
(24:31):
whole life without that and thatfreaking sucks.
You're cheating yourself out ofthese years.
You have like because you'recomplacent or or scared to make
a change, because you're stuck.
Right, you feel like you'restuck but we're not.
We are not stuck and I've beentrying to figure out like when
(24:57):
this podcast is going in thefuture, like my mission, and
I've got all that now down andremember I was talking about
like how, when the first earlyepisodes I wanted to be more
about, you know, womenempowerment instead of about Men
and toxic men.
But there will be coming up.
We'll be going through the bookby Matt Lundy.
Why does he do that?
(25:17):
Because I think you need toknow what's going on with your
toxic partner who's keeping youin these situations.
At the same time, I'm stillbuilding you up and trying to
Help you realize why you'rekeeping yourself in these
situations, so kind of gotsidetracked there.
But that is coming up becauseyou need to know everything
(25:39):
about the situation.
You know what's going on in hismind and what's going on in
your mind and I'm telling youright now Think about it.
I don't know how old you are, Idon't know.
I think I've got listeners ofall different ages, but I think
most of them are in their 30s,40s and I think people don't
slow down enough to realizeYou're not gonna be on this
earth forever, like, really,unfortunately, you're not going
(26:05):
to be on this earth forever.
You don't know when your timeis coming.
And I've lost a handful ofpeople over the past year,
surprisingly, like people out ofnowhere, like Even young people
, and I'm thinking, oh my gosh,like Did they?
(26:27):
You know?
I hope they live their life tothe fullest.
I know some of them probablydid not and now it's gone.
And I think you need to getmorbid like that.
I think you really need to getmorbid and think about your own
mortality and how you have alimited time to do stuff.
(26:50):
You have a limited time beforenot even before you die, but
before you get too old to dostuff and that starts happening.
It truly does in your 40s.
They don't call it over thehill just to be funny.
Like, seriously, a lot of stuffin your body it just goes to
shit in your 40s and it doesn'trecover.
(27:12):
Don't be like other people whowait and wait and wait until the
right time.
Don't be like me, who wasted mybest years y'all 20 to 35.
I was stuck in that toxic shit.
I could have been exploring theworld, I could have been like,
(27:36):
oh my God, I could have had like100 books written in that time.
You know, like seriously,that's not even exaggerating,
maybe even more because I'mpretty prolific when I get to
start writing.
But yeah, that's what I wantedto talk about today.
Just, I was going to start onthe book by Matt Lundy, because
I've been reading it and takingnotes so I can share it with
(27:58):
y'all, and it's got some goodstuff in there.
It's all, like you know, insidethe mind of an abuser which, if
you haven't read this book, gopick it up.
I'm going to give a lot ofnotes on it here in the next
several episodes.
But it's you are going to askyourself all the time like I
(28:21):
don't understand.
I know I said this in myabusive marriage.
All the time, I don'tunderstand, I don't understand.
You know what is it about me?
It's going to explain all thisand just I think it should be
required reading for everysingle woman for all.
But we'll get onto that in abit.
I just needed to get this outnow because of this horrible
(28:44):
energy I have been feeling andI'm trying to figure that out
myself.
So I've been just strugglingwith like I do too much and I
only have a limited number ofyears left to be like as
physical as I want to be.
And you know that also playsinto mental space.
(29:06):
I'm trying to figure out whereI'm going.
Like I feel stuck.
I feel stuck in Tennessee and alot of people are like, oh well
, it's not so bad.
Yeah, if you're not from theSouth, I don't think people
quite understand the quality oflife here.
(29:27):
I really don't Like.
If you are a person who doesnot fit into status quo here,
it's mentally damaging and thatdrains you physically.
The people in the deep Souththey build their life around
(29:52):
politics and religion.
You can't have a conversationwith someone without them
bringing up let's go, brandon,or how they love the convicted
rapist Trump.
I'm serious.
Strangers and because I'm whitepeople also love to talk to me
(30:17):
about black people and Mexicansand how they're ruining
everything.
I'm serious.
They're openly racist here andthey identify and label
themselves their whole existenceis based on I can't think of
the word I'm looking for isbased on politics and it is a
(30:41):
challenge being around that.
And also they throw religioninto it too.
You have to belong to churches.
It's very culty and then thechurches lead into the politics
and you can't even have aconversation with strangers
(31:02):
without them interjecting thingslike that.
God and Jesus is coming back,and the deeper in the South you
go, the more fucked up it is.
The end of the world is coming.
I've been hearing that my wholelife.
The end of the world is comingtomorrow.
You better get yourself rightwith Jesus.
The racist shit.
(31:22):
It's truly like that.
If you have not been to theSouth, I do not recommend going
Now.
Are there good places and goodpeople in the South?
Fuck, yes, yes, as is anywhere,right, but it is a different
world and I didn't know howdifferent until I started
traveling, which a lot of peoplearound here should do to open
(31:43):
up their eyes.
It doesn't matter what you tellthese people.
You can say this guy is blue,but they literally have Fox News
playing on the background.
You know how subliminals work.
We've talked about subliminals.
I love subliminals.
It's like you know when you'relistening to beautiful music but
in the background someone'swhispering like you're going to
(32:04):
be a millionaire, you're goingto be a millionaire.
Fox News is their subliminals.
They have it going 24-7.
Even if they're not absorbingit, even if they're cooking or
whatever and talking.
It's subliminally in their headgoing about how, like you know,
you should be controlled byfear.
All right, like you, fearmotivates you.
(32:26):
Be afraid of lefties, be afraidof women, be afraid of black
people in Mexicans.
Oh my gosh, you know theworld's going to just explode if
you don't shout your you loveJesus.
I don't know, it is like thatdown here.
No-transcript, and for anybodywho's like, yes, again, there's
(32:49):
pockets and places like thataren't so bad.
But also, like you know, I'mnot even getting into the crime.
I'm not even getting to thecrime.
I'm not getting to the qualityof education I'm not getting
into.
There's not shit here to dobecause it's the south and
there's no like beautifulmountains Now, you have
beautiful mountains and likeGatlinburg and Asheville and
areas around there, yes, butalso it's still, you know,
(33:12):
you're in mega territory, whichIs just a quality of life I
cannot get behind.
Seriously, when we were drivingthrough Arkansas yesterday, I
saw billboards that was like Doyou know where you're going when
you die, which is intimidationand religious abuse.
(33:32):
Let me just say that, and I seethis all the time whenever
we're driving around the south,there's, like you know, god's
watching you billboards and Isaw one one time when we were
going through actually I thinkit was Kansas, it was a
billboard and it was just like areally angry looking Jesus
going through the cornfields.
I don't know why, he justlooked really angry.
Anyways, religious abuse Hello,we've talked about that before
(33:52):
and intimidation.
And then also we saw some signthat was like deposit Biden
votes here, and it was like inthis middle of a field whole
thing, and lots of you knowTrump, trumpy flags, and I've
seen billboards that say likewhite radio, it's not even a
thing.
It sounds so KKK-ish and justeverywhere like let's go,
(34:17):
brandon.
You know, fuck Joe Biden.
And when I've been out west, Ididn't see that.
I didn't see anything like thatOn the on the blue side of
places.
Now I went through some redplaces out west and I saw it.
I was like, ooh, I feel like Irun the South again.
But anyways, I don't know I'mgetting off here because I said
I feel stuck in Tennessee and alot of people are like, well,
(34:40):
you know, that might not be sobad for me.
It's bad because I do notSubscribed any of those beliefs
and ways of life and I don't.
That's not my values.
So, yes, for me it is verydamaging and bad.
And I have to tell myself I'mnot stuck.
I can make.
I can make Action steps to getout of here, which I am doing,
(35:01):
you know.
But I think it's also part ofthat restless energy.
I'll say it's an election year,so that doesn't help.
So I'm figuring my shit outwhile you figure your shit out.
And we both know now that wehave a limited number of years
to figure this shit out and thelonger we wait, the closer we
edge toward getting to a pointwhere it's too late to figure
(35:24):
our shit out.
I don't care what anybody sayslike, oh, you can go back to
school when you're 70, blah.
But who the fuck wants to goback to school to get a degree,
to earn more money when you're70?
Because what, you're gonna earnmore money when you're 70?
You're gonna be making like sixfigures with this new degree
which we all know in America.
That's bullshit, because thatwhole degree stuff is the line.
You're just gonna be in studentdebt.
But say, you feel like you'regonna be making six figures when
(35:46):
you're 70.
What the fuck are you gonna dowithout six figures?
Like you're 70, like you can'tgo out, you know, and go on like
a week-long hike to MountOlympia or whatever, I don't
know.
Give it to your kids.
That's a noble cause, I agreewith that one.
But come on, you can enjoy lifeas much when you're Older, you
(36:09):
just can't.
I mean, you can enjoy it butit's not gonna be, it's not the
same and I don't care who everis like oh, you know it is, and
you can still Know there'sdefinitely cons and stuff that's
gonna slow you down and youcan't get around that.
So why, you're young and ableMentally and physically, get
(36:30):
your ass up and start makingchange.
Do the shit you want to do,starting now, not saying, oh,
I'm waiting till Monday to startmy diet, no bitch, you're gonna
do it now.
You're going to start crushingthose goals today.
You're gonna make a plan andyou're not gonna wait any longer
.
Because I'm being real with youand other people are like toxic
positivity and oh, you know,you've got all this time on
(36:53):
earth.
You don't, you don't, andthat's all I got today.
I'm sorry if this was a morbidPodcast.
It was like out of the blue forme.
I truly is gonna talk aboutthese toxic men today, but I
need you to know some of theselessons I've learned in the past
year.
Don't be like me.
Don't hit your 40s and you'relike, wow, I've got a handful of
(37:17):
years left to do the physicalthings I want to do, because
that's a life goal for me.
Might not be for you and that'sokay, but I Could have done
that in those 15 years.
I was stuck in a shitty assmarriage.
I could have been being thisperson I am today, who's rare
and ready to go and loving lifeand being in this passionate,
(37:40):
loving marriage with a supportsystem and Doing all these
things.
And I Did not get to do thatand it was just.
You know it sucks.
You get regrets and you need tolive your life with no regrets.
So get started today.
I Hope you can't relate to thisat all because I don't want
(38:01):
that for you, but if you canrelate to this, I hope you found
these little words of wisdomand these nuggets I've given you
to be helpful, because You'renot stuck, but you are Getting
old bitch.
So Get your shit together andgo fucking live your life.
(38:26):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you love the show, pleaseleave a rating, a review, and if
you know anyone who also mightlove the show or who could
benefit from this information,please be sure to Share it and
subscribe.
The more we get this out topeople, the more people we can
help, and I truly believethere's so many women who need
(38:49):
to hear these words, because somany women are feeling stuck.
Also, if you're looking for me,you can usually find me on the
ground, at author cat Adams, andbe sure to head over to my
website and that's cat AdamsAdams with a double D's comm.
Subscribe to my newsletter forthe latest information.
Also, when you subscribe,you're gonna get free novella.
(39:10):
And Just be forewarned, myRanty rom-com is as dirty as my
mouth.
So if that's your thing, go forit.
It's super hilarious.
But thank you again for tuningin.
Until next time, please staysafe and I'll see you on the
other side.
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