A “Soft” Man is a Dangerous Man!

Many Civilizations confuse anesthesia with peace. Likewise, many men hide behind polished restraint, while mistaking numbness for nobility. Their smiles function as fences; their empathy, as anesthetic. They imitate kindness the way machines imitate breath—accurate, efficient, even lifeless. This counterfeit softness originates not in compassion but in fear—the reflex of a boy who learned that “tendernism” invited punishment. He grows into a man who calls avoidance “balance,” submission from the other “respect,” and self-erasure “love.” Psychiatry observes this as the fawn response: appeasement weaponized as a tool of survival. Neuroscience reveals its circuitry—cortisol suppressed by oxytocin, adrenaline redirected into charm. Anthropology names it the domestication of the male spirit: the tribe praises his calm while his vitality dies under applause of performance based acceptance. Religion sanctifies the same paralysis, rewarding meekness without presence, obedience without awareness. Such manhood performs serenity yet radiates suffocation. He cannot create; he can only consent.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
From the beginning, he could feel what others could name.
Before he learned to speak, he was already translating the unspoken,
the side behind his mother's smiled, the tension in his
father's silence. He didn't have language for energy, but his
body did. He learned early that peace isn't always quiet.

(00:22):
Sometimes it's just a pause before someone explodes. The empathic
boy grows up the colding rooms instead of playing in them.
He feels responsible for moves he didn't create. He becomes
fluent in survival long before he understands self worth. In childhood,
the empathic Boy's spirit is soft and very absorbent. Every sound,

(00:46):
every look, every tone imprints deeply. He's often told too emotional,
too dramatic, too.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. We got
to start this video from the top because she is
dropping complete fire and I wanna deconstruct it a little bit.
And the reason why I'm putting it on pause for
a quick second is because Pedro Pizarro. Hold on, we

(01:22):
got to talk about Pedro hold on, wait listen. I
talked about Pedro Pizarro on my on My Zoe What
Morning Show podcast today and I instructed all of my
listeners and followers to send Pedro an email. We gave

(01:45):
out his email address, we gave out the phone number.
We told him to press one. Pedro, you got to
come to KBLA and sit with Tavis. You got to
address what's going on in my hometown of Alta Dina, Altadena, California.
We lost it January seventh in the fires. Pedro, mister Pizzarro,

(02:11):
please reach out to KBLA Talk fifteen eighty and schedule
a time to sit with Tavis Smiley and discuss the
future of Alta Dina. Everybody's talking about brent Wood, as
they should, the Palisades brent Wood that you know, posh
area over there. Everybody's talking about it, but we also

(02:34):
have to talk about Alta Dina. So really quickly call
to action. I want you guys to email Pedro. His
email address is Pedro dot Pizarro p I Z A
r r O at sc E dot com. S c
E stands for Southern California Edison. Okay, and that's a

(03:00):
Pedro dot Pizarro at s c E, Southern California Edison
dot com. And uh, I want you guys to call
him if you want the number. Doll is six two
six three oh two twenty two fifty five and then
press one. That email address again is Pedro dot Pizzarro

(03:20):
p I Z A R R O at s c
E dot com. I just had to stop it for
a second before I got this train rolling. The Voice
of Reason live on KBLA Talk fifteen eighty. If this
is your first time tuning in, you already know what
I do. We talk relationships, and tonight's topic is a doozy.

(03:46):
And if you're a woman, I know you've experienced the
guy that I'm about to describe tonight. I'm broadcasting live
tonight from Lemurt Park. But this is the first time
I've ever gone live on TikTok. So I'm going live
on my TikTok as well. Usually I'm on my YouTube channel,

(04:08):
but today I said, let's try TikTok. Let's give TikTok
a go. So Tonight's topic exiled protectors. A soft man
is a dangerous man. How conquering self hate dismantles the
disempowerment of codependency. A deeper look into how anti self

(04:32):
compassion conditions men and emotionally deforms women. Oh my goodness,
have you dated a fake soft man, fake soft. He's
not really soft. He's fawning. He's performing. He's trying to
do everything you want him to do so he can

(04:56):
get everything that his heart desires, validation, approval, acknowledgment. I
want to know he wasn't really soft, was he? Or
was he just pretending? Many civilizations confuse anesthesia with peace. Likewise,

(05:16):
many men hide behind polished restraint while mistaking numbness for nobility.
Their smiles functions as fences, their empathy as anesthetic. They
they imitate kindness the way machines imitate breath, accurate, efficient,

(05:43):
even lifeless. This counterfeit softness originates not in compassion, but
in fear. The reflex of a boy who learned that tendernism,
who learned that tend invited punishment, he grows into a

(06:04):
man who calls avoidance, balance, submission from the other, respect,
and self awareness love. Psychiatry Right observed this as the
fawn response, appeasement weaponized as a tool of survival. Neuroscience

(06:26):
reveals it as this quartersall suppressed biox oxytocin adrenaline redirected
into charm. Even in anthropology they name it domestication of
the male spirit. The tribe praises his calm, while his

(06:49):
vitality dies under applause of performance based acceptance. Oh, my goodness,
religion sanctifies the same paralysis, rewarding meekness without presence, obedience
without awareness. Such manhood performs serenity yet radiate suffocation. He

(07:14):
cannot create, He can only consent. Oh, this is deep,
This is deep. Listen, what kind where, what kind of
household does this man come from? The man that will fond,
that will perform, that will tap dance to get the

(07:38):
woman's attention. I want to know, ladies, have you dated him?
The number to dollar is one eight hundred nine twenty
fifteen eighty. When a man's softness is born not of
compassion and self love, but of compliance, does his full
performative tenderness become a weapon used unconditionally to control through guilt, silence,

(08:04):
or need. Ah, this is this is something right here
when listen to that question. When a man's softness is
born not of compassion, right, compassion for self and self love,
but of compliance. If I act right, I'll get further?

(08:27):
Does his faux performative tenderness become a weapon? You know
how much time I spent doing what you want me
to do, even though I initially never really wanted to
do it. You owe me, right? This faux performative tenderness?

Speaker 3 (08:48):
Right?

Speaker 2 (08:50):
Is it used unconsciously to control the woman through guilt, silence,
or needy fifteen? I want to know your thoughts. You
guys can call in and share your opinion. I want
to talk to you guys about it. Can suppressed self

(09:12):
hate disguise itself as performative humility? Oh lord? Convincing some
men that self neglect is a virtue and unapologetic self
respect is a sin? Wait a minute, so you starting

(09:34):
off too hard? Right now? Hold on, Zoe? Can suppress
self hate disguise itself as performative humility? You mean you
can perform and fake being humble? Oh my goodness. Convincing
some men that self neglect is a virtue. You know what,

(09:55):
don't worry about what I need. I got you. I'm
gonna show up and I'm gonna be there and I'm
gonna do whatever it is you need for me to do.
Is that a virtue? While unapologetic self respect is a sin?
First off, are you scared to tell her no? This

(10:19):
is derived from Victor Frankel's warning that's suffering without meaning
Breed's pathology. I want to go back to the first question.
When a man's softness is born not of self compassion
and self love, but of compliance, does his faux performative
tenderness become a weapon right used unconsciously to control through guilt, silence,

(10:45):
or need. This was extrapolated from Samuel on were the
exterior reflects the interior. Listen, ladies, are you dealing with
this kind of man? Are there men out there like this?
I want to know. I want to hear from the
brothers one eight hundred nine, twenty fifteen eighty. How many

(11:08):
women mistake a man's emotional passivity for safety? I'm talking
to the ladies. I'm talking to the ladies. One eight
hundred nine, twenty fifteen eighty. How many women mistake a
man's emotional passivity for safety, only to discover that his

(11:28):
repression eventually metastasizes into covert or even overt resentment or
emotional tyranny. I suppressed what I really wanted all this
time because I thought I was gonna get what I
wanted from you. But seeing that that'll never happen, I

(11:51):
guess I get to come out now one eight hundred
nine twenty fifteen eighty. Oh, this is good, good good.
Tonight's topic the exile protector. If self awareness, self compassion,
self love, self acceptance, and self knowledge is the root
of self governance, does a man without these qualities inevitably

(12:17):
outsource or project his emotional regulation onto women, institutions, or addictions.
I've got questions, You've got answers when we come forward.
This is how we're going to do this, Andy, What
I would like to do is play the clip that

(12:38):
we were going to play at the beginning, and we'll
just ride it to the top. Can we do that?
Let's do it from the beginning.

Speaker 1 (12:47):
He could feel what others could name. Before he learned
to speak, he was already translating the unspoken, the side
behind his mother's smile, the tension in his father's syces.
He didn't have language for energy, but his body did.
He learns early that peace isn't always quiet. Sometimes it's

(13:09):
just a pause before someone explodes. The empathic boy grows
up the colding rooms instead of playing in them. He
feels responsible for moves he didn't create. He becomes fluent
in survival long before he understands self worth. In childhood,
the empathic boy's spirit is soft and very absorbent. Every sound,

(13:32):
every look, every tone imprints deeply. He's often told too emotional,
too dramatic, too soft, but that softness is in weakness,
it's spiritual sensitivities. Now his whole life may be unpredictable,
for some parents are arguing siblings, competing adults, too tired

(13:53):
to notice that his silences should be looked at. He
becomes the peacekeeper, the one who who reads tension faster
than textbooks. When everyone else is reacting, he's feeling, and
when no one notices him, he's still listening to pain
that isn't his, but has nowhere else to go. At school,

(14:15):
sensitivity doesn't earn applause because he watches louder boys get
rewarded for their confidence and sees quietness mistaken for weakness,
so he experiments with masks. He'll become the class clown,
or the one that's always making jokes, or he's the
quiet one, or he's always either distracted or making distractions happen.

Speaker 4 (14:42):
There's just as much fear of submitting to someone as
being a leader. A part of us being in survival
mode is that you can't show weakness. That's every animal.
When every animal is in survival mode, you have to
hide your weakness. This is about getting through the next moment.
And what we've been through is Black people in this
country very much in survival modest. It's harder for you

(15:02):
to think long term. So now I gotta leave my survival,
not my love, not my happiness, not my survival up
to this individual, or I gotta lead another individual. And
a lot of us haven't reached a place in our
own relationship, like with self, to where we healed enough
to realize, oh my god, I'm capable of this. This
person does trust me. It's not about survival anymore. We

(15:25):
pass that like we actually built in something here. So
I think we definitely, as black people specifically, have to
give ourselves grace. We have one of the most unhealthy
relationships with leadership that you could point.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
In wow wow wows. And that was from Tonight's conversation,
right man, Tonight's conversation. The youngsters are out there doing it.
They're on tour, they are out there cooking, they're dropping jewels.
Let me just say, ladies, just because he presents as Anne.

(16:01):
Just because he presents as sweet, as kind, as caring,
it doesn't mean that it's coming from a space that's
rooted in self awareness, self acceptance, self worth. Let me
tell you something, A man who's coming from that perspective

(16:22):
really doesn't want anything from you because it's in him.
He's not looking for you to compensate that right. Broken
people have these, for lack of a better term, psycho
spiritual holes, and they need their partner to fill those holes. Right,

(16:45):
So let me go back to the question that I asked,
and I thought it was apropos for this discussion. If
self awareness, self compassion, self love, self acceptance, and self
knowledge is the root of self govern does a man
without these qualities inevitably outsource or project his emotional regulation

(17:10):
onto his woman, institutions or other addictions. Right, So let's
get into this, right, the exiled right, the exiled provider
or the exiled protector.

Speaker 5 (17:30):
Right.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Men love jumping into a role because if I can
jump into a role, jumping into a role is like
jumping into a character. But relationships function as a psycho
spiritual holographic mirror where one comes to discover the truth
of oneself if there's something that needs to be worked

(17:53):
on right. We tend to find that within intimate relationships
that type of people we attract are men aware that
they attract chaotic women, emotional women, women who can't regulate
their emotions. What is that reflective of? Brother? Right? Do

(18:16):
you find that the woman who is ten toes down
with you, the woman that wants to ride with you,
the woman that has your back, you kind of push
her away because she's too available? Where's that coming from?
In codependent systems, does a woman's kindness, nurturing, and empathy

(18:37):
become the currency that sustains the man's self hate and
self avoidant economy while bankrupting her own nervous system of
true peace? That question was inspired by Babbett Rothchild's work
on somatic resonance and trauma. A contagion, is he looking

(19:02):
for a woman that he can emotionally bankrupt? Listen to
that question? In codependent systems, does a woman's kindness, nurturing,
and empathy become the currency that sustains the man's self
hate and self avoidant economy? What does a self hate
and self avoidant economy? Right? You don't want to do

(19:25):
to work right? So you avoid looking at yourself. It's
the same thing, Carl Jung said. People will do anything,
no matter how absurd, to avoid looking at themselves. Right,
So when men do that, do they in turn rely
overly on their woman? It's very interesting in codependent systems,

(19:49):
does a woman's kindness, nurturing, and empathy become the currency
that sustains the man's self hate and self avoidance economy
while bankrupting her own nervous system of true peace. Oh
my goodness, when we come forward, the phone calls are
coming in. If you want to participate in tonight's conversation,
all you got to do is call me at one

(20:09):
eight hundred nine twenty fifteen eighty. When we come forward.
More from the vo r Okay. Michelle Carlson thirty six
asked the question, is codependency a selfish act?

Speaker 6 (20:28):
No, And codependency much like any other addictive process. It's
just an addictive process. You actually become addicted to taking
care of people. Let's say, for example, you're younger, I'm
the oldest one of my family. I'm taking care of
my brother and sister or whatever. And you get certain accolades,
and you get certain praise and rewards from doing that,

(20:51):
so you start your brain reaction. You get a sense
of well being from doing things for people. Well, if
you do that long enough, that tends to be how
you feel good about you is by taking care of
someone else, because you're not learning how to feel good
about yourself bout taking care of you. And unfortunately, you
get into a circumstances like that and you do it
for a period of time, you too has a form

(21:12):
of addiction of a behavioral thing. And so your code
dependency is that you need to take care of someone
who feel good about you. And I mean it is
a challenging, difficult you know, dependency or addiction to kind
of overcome. Codependency can destroy you, just like addiction because
you will lose yourself.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Hey, listen, who was that Andy? That was Otis Johnson. Okay,
I love it, I love it, I love it. I'm
hearing it when you hear it. Jam lavan Zant said
something quite profound maybe a year and a half ago.
She said, men are human beings, not human doings. And
now you're starting to see all of these TikTokers, all

(21:55):
of these YouTubers, content creators saying all relationships are transactional,
and they're even going as far as to say what
I've been saying for the past twenty years, that it's
passive aggressive prostitution. Imagine if everything that Otis Johnson just
talked about is true, and then you combine it with

(22:19):
this new concept of what have you done for me lately?
On steroids? So men are performing more, they're performing graciousness
and kindness and all of this and that, and their
needs needs are not being met. The dangerous softness, right,

(22:41):
the danger of softness is not fragility. It is unarmored consciousness.
It is the point where the masculine's capacity for presence
meets the feminine's capacity for surrender, not as roles, but
as you universal principles within every human heart. In that meeting,

(23:05):
strength ceases to dominate and compassion ceases to deplete. They
become one force, the sovereign love that neither clings nor conquers,
but creates. Now, brothers have been conditioned to see softness

(23:28):
as negative. Right, you can't be soft, you can't be
in your feelings. We are protectors, we are providers, right,
But if we stay in that positionality, then what good
are we when we can't do those two things, we
become judged and viewed as a solid man or a

(23:51):
good man, right, who can tolerate you know, I don't
want to say it. Oh, I'll be wanting to cuss sometimes,
and I catch myself because it's live radio, right, it's
it's sometimes I'll be wanting to give it to you.

(24:12):
But I think men have to now start to recontextualize
softness and look at it from the perspective of the Doo.
If you've never read the Dow teaching softness is the
greatest power in the world, and the metaphor that is
used in the Dow is that, you know, water can

(24:36):
erode mountains, but not with force. So they're basically saying
the hardest thing is subject to the flow of water.
And maybe it's a cultural thing. But what's interesting is
we're living in a society right now where men have
embraced this emotionless I'll just produce and provide for you

(25:01):
kind of mentality. And I don't think it is at
all healthy for men. And I think there's strength in
saying no. I think their strength and cultivating your spiritual beliefs,
your spirit and when I say spiritual beliefs, I'm talking
about self knowledge. I'm not talking about dogma. I'm not
talking about you know, particular belief systems. I'm talking about

(25:23):
the belief system of you, who you are, where you
came from. Why are you attracted to a certain type
of woman? Are you attracted to toxic women? Are you
attracted to controlling women? What is this right? And if
you don't do the work and you find yourself performing
for her affections right bending the knee to her chaos,

(25:49):
I mean, who you're going to be in relationship? This
is going to be very interesting. We got callers on
the line, and I want to get him in here
right now. John from Mountain View, Hawaii, It's your time
to shine and welcome to the vo or. What say
you on tonight's topic?

Speaker 5 (26:05):
Greetings and blessings to all within the sound of my voice.
Greetings and blessings to mister Andy. I like his answers
when I call him on the phone, and blessings to
use up. Yes, sir for this topic tonight. But at
the same time, are we speaking woman these or do
I need to get a dictionary?

Speaker 2 (26:25):
No, you don't need a dictionary, and just keep going.
I got you well.

Speaker 5 (26:30):
Again the niceties of men, which again the embodiment as
in somebody that has been blessed with the enabling and
giving as they see shit because they know where their
gifts come from, versus the one who actually performs.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
Keep going, I'm listening, keep going.

Speaker 5 (26:53):
I wanted to bring out a viewpoint from the guy
who's healthy and enough to say so those of us
who continue to be that same woman needs niceness is
put in the same category as the one who performs

(27:14):
it the same way, the same way that men look
at all women as three h four, because we don't
know the distinction between one or the other, because they
all have virtually the same voice, or at least some benow.

Speaker 2 (27:32):
Some beno, I got it, some but not all gotcha.

Speaker 5 (27:37):
Because because we're working on this thing, this process that
won if we were educated in the old school way
of those who were slave or survival minded when they
was telling the young ones, this is the way it's done,
versus the ones who the ones who actually go through

(27:58):
the process, learning the things along the way, and then
having to transform their mind afterwards.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
No, no, no, Dad, you cooking good, but you you
sparking as you cook? You spark Can I just put
something to you, brother and brother to brother, man a man,
do you find that men are required to show up
more than women? And I'm speaking socially.

Speaker 5 (28:27):
Socially, I would say to a certain degree, talk to me. Yes,
By our women, we are told to get the bag.
Why you're standing in front of me if you can't
afford this that, and so we're we're kind of we're
kind of educated in the ways by the women that
we claim to be our own.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
But when I say showed, when when I say show,
I mean for the relationship.

Speaker 5 (28:57):
Well, again, the relationship has got to do with the
same performance level that you gotta have. Where's the house,
where's the car? You're not wearing designer? Where's my designer?
What are you doing here? I'm hungry? Where are we
gonna eat? Do you hear what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Uh huh uh huh uh huh.

Speaker 5 (29:15):
Again, Yes, it is the part of things that we
must do to quote unquote get the goods being nice?

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Uh uh Look, look, Black Superman in the TikTok Chack said, Uh,
if you're broke, just say that some of the things
that men endure from women, Right, If if you're broke,
just say that.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
Have men do we do understand all? We understand all
though again this is the subject for the man. Where
we could we can deal with women on another time.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
John, stay right there, don't leave. I need you. Don't
go nowhere. John from Mountview, Hawaii has started the Converse Station.
If you want to bring your city and state in
the building, all you got to do is call me
at one eight hundred nine, twenty fifteen eighty. The v
O R is on fire tonight one eight hundred nine,
twenty fifteen eighty. Let's get it. You know you want

(30:17):
some more more. It's the voice of reason.

Speaker 6 (30:19):
When so Williams on kbl A Talk fifteen.

Speaker 3 (30:22):
Eighty, hmm huh.

Speaker 7 (30:35):
When no real one hold you down, Bay, you're supposed
to joint you ain't no win, No boat's hired.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
To out you went.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
You won't catch me in. No sharp boots shot.

Speaker 7 (30:43):
Fired them out them out, got away. Today's birthday took
or work?

Speaker 5 (30:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:49):
I got an said, when you know what we're doing?

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Quinny Blant suburbans W we.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
Go who lambs Yes, Billy didn't want a hell? Kare
you know with a real lie? W?

Speaker 7 (31:01):
No really one hold you down Bay. You're supposed to drink.
You ain't no no box that's hired to out. You
won't catch me in no sharp boots shot burned them out,
got away Today's birthday to go out of town.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Broken. Yeah, I talked a lot of her.

Speaker 7 (31:16):
He like, who you think you is?

Speaker 5 (31:18):
Not?

Speaker 3 (31:19):
Broken?

Speaker 7 (31:22):
Your He got one up on me.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
Ho tiny light three and oh twin yo.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
This is Andy's playlist tonight clearly want my life.

Speaker 7 (31:31):
And he so evidently cook cleaning from right. I'm so heavy?

Speaker 3 (31:36):
What I look like?

Speaker 8 (31:38):
This goes for people who are stressed or empassed. They're
avoiding the truth. Now, let's get to why that is
what's underneath this. Well, underneath an empass an EmPATH are
two things horrific trauma and shame. Now, unfortunately for most empaths,
they'll be like, what do you mean trauma? My childhood

(31:58):
was great? Well, you, we don't become an EmPATH unless
your childhood was filled with dysfunction. Because what happens is
is in childhood we have no emotional boundaries. We are
an open slate, and so we become whatever our parents'
emotional condition is. Well to justify our parents and perfections,

(32:21):
we condone how they were less than perfect and abusive,
and so we lost our parents, transgressed our boundaries so
much we don't have them. And so that's what I
had to discover, is with my mom's alcoholism, in my
dad's rage, the only way I could survive my childhood
was to be hyper aware emotionally. I had to feel

(32:44):
any sense of change in them so that I could survive. Now, again,
that's a great skill, was survival skill for childhood, but
it's a horrible skill once we become an adult because
we in the process of saving our lives. And that's
the thing about an Again, this isn't a disparage. This
was a life saving coping skill that they developed. It's wonderful.

(33:06):
It saved their life. Their childhood was filled with so
much trauma. The problem is, as with all trauma, if
boomerang's back against us as adults, and so now they
can't be in relationships, they can't be in crowded rooms,
they can't they get overwhelmed. Well, they can't live their life.
They're still stuck in that trauma.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Brother, is he talking to you? I can't show their
own emotions. I just got to show up, and my
baby says, you want it. I gotta give it to
my baby, says you needed. I got to show up.
That's what a real man would, A real man would
seek to heal his wounds. A woman can't save you

(33:48):
from your self work, brother, so you position yourself as
infinitely strong, right, the protector, the provider always got your back.
I ain't gonna never let you down. You gotta almost
be perfect, and you have to weather whatever is going
on in her. We've been conditioned to show up this way?

(34:12):
Are we soft men? Has true masculinity been outlawed and
villainized to the point where we can't be one hundred
percent unapologetically masculine yet respectful of the feminine, self aware, masculine,

(34:33):
self loving, masculine Huh, the doo behind the man. Softness
within the dow never equates to weakness. Water yields to
every form, yet carves through mountains, wind blows to the valley,

(34:57):
yet scopes the earth. Gentleness in this lexicon does not flatter,
it dissolves. It transforms through contact, not through conquest. The
modern man, if he's constantly conquering, then he conquers you.

(35:18):
That's what fifty cents said. He said, get the money.
The women come with the money. And now women are
playing this game. They're reading Levigne's book Unattached, They're reading
babet Rothschild. The body remembers vander Clock. I don't know
how to say his name, vander Clock. Right. They're reading

(35:43):
all of these books right, and they're learning how to
perform for the high value man so that they can
secure security. This is modern day relationships. You heard the
record and he played from his play a list. What

(36:03):
is that lotto broken? Come on, the modern man can't
be soft. He doesn't understand the Taoist perspective of soft
soft being the hidden strength, the real strength one eight

(36:23):
hundred and nine, twenty fifteen. You got callers. I want
to get him in here and get his final thought
on this. John Mountain View, Hawaii, Man, you were cooking. Man,
we just had to come forward. Now that we've come
full circle, let me get your summation.

Speaker 5 (36:36):
Summation proof that the individual showing niceties happens to be
the erosion of a thing. If you, if you, if
you disintegrate under pressure, and you will go through pressure.
You if you're tried as pure gold after the fire,

(36:58):
you will see your own reflection. Wow, if you're tried
in water. You either have things circling you to take
you under, or you're being poked at at one particular
spot on a regular base.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (37:17):
Same goes with men in their nicety. If you're proven good,
you will continue in your good. But if you're proven unworthy,
the erosion continues.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
The erosion continues. Man, guess what you just did.

Speaker 5 (37:37):
Mountain View is in the house, blessing soul.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
Mountainview, Hawaii is on the board. If you want to
bring your city in the building, all you gotta do
is call your brother Zoe Williams one eight hundred nine
twenty fifteen eighty when we come forward. We're going to Houston,
and we're going to south central Los Angeles. Let's get it.

Speaker 9 (37:56):
When when to.

Speaker 7 (37:58):
Let me know how you want to play it.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
You know I'm there. If it was smoke, they're not
what's said. Don't creeper clear that.

Speaker 7 (38:06):
Is mentioned like a souvenir. W No real one holds
you down Bay you supposed to drunk, You ain't.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
No we no boy that's hired to out. You won't
catch me in those sharp bookshop.

Speaker 7 (38:16):
Burnt them out, got away. Today's birthday to go out
of town.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
Broken Yeah, I talked.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
A lot about he like who you think you're wi
the broke kbla fifteen eighty cent a month.

Speaker 10 (38:33):
Is it difficult for you to separate your feeling states
and identity from the other person? Where if your feeling
state is fine and they come in in a terrible
mood because you're so merged, does their mood supersede yours?
A lot of people become a wee in a way
that is unhealthy. It's like they only know themselves in

(38:54):
relation to the other person.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Uh, who was that Terry Cole? She was cooking, but
it was so quick. I want to hear one more time.
Is it gone? Let's hear it one more time.

Speaker 10 (39:07):
Is it difficult for you to separate your feeling states
and identity from the other person? Where if your feeling
state is fine and that come in terrible mood because
you're so merged, does their mood supersede yours? A lot
of people become a we in a way that is unhealthy.
It's like they only know themselves in relation to the

(39:29):
other person.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
Hey, listen, the voice of reason is on complete fire Man,
and that clip was profound. A lot of people only
know themselves in relation to another. Are you a man
who's like that? Are you the exiled provider? On you?
Once your productivity level falls off, once you're instead of GDP,

(39:51):
which is terms that we use in the economy, we'll
call it the heat EP. Once your HEATP produce activity
falls off, are you the exiled provider? I want to know?
Have you been performing for so long that you now

(40:16):
finally realized? Man, I'm tired. I haven't made a moment
for myself. Listen. The first hour was amazing. The second
hour is going to be even better. I want you,
guys to call in the number to dollars one, eight
hundred and nine twenty fifteen point eighty. Don't be afraid,
all right, call in from wherever you're listening from. But
before I get this topic poppin, I want to shout

(40:40):
out the homie Pedro. Pedro. We need to holler at
you over here. Pedro, the voice of Reason would like
to hear from you.

Speaker 9 (40:51):
Now.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
I'm listen.

Speaker 9 (40:53):
Man.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Tavis Smiley organized a town hall meeting and I was raised.
My whole childhood was in Pasadena and Altadena, first Altadena,
then Pasadena. I went to all of the Pasadena schools
listen man. They had a town hall meeting in southern California.

(41:19):
Edison wasn't there. We'd like to hear from you. Tavis
Smiley would like to hear from you. It's day three.
We haven't heard anything from you. Pedro. You gotta tap
in with Tavis Smiley, my friend, so you can have
this conversation that all of Altadena, which burned down in

(41:41):
January nearly a year ago January seventh, all of Altadena
wants to hear what you have to say. Now, if
we have to direct our folks to you, we got
that covered too. Here's your email address, Pedro Pedro p

(42:02):
E d r O dot Pizarro p I z A
r r O at s c E dot com. That's
Pedro dot Pizarro at s c E dot com. You
can also call him six two six three O two

(42:24):
twenty two fifty five Press one. We want to talk
to him because I feel like the people of Altadena,
the people of Pasadena, deserve to hear from you. And
what better place to sit down and have the conversation
than right here on kb L A Talk fifteen eighty.
Now back to the topic of this soft man and

(42:49):
how we men don't want to be soft and uh
because they think it's effeminate to be soft. Right, Then
they start to perform niceties. They start to perform for
women so that they can get whatever it is they're

(43:11):
trying to get. Y'all know what I'm trying to say.
We got callers on the line that want to talk
about it as well. But before we get to the callers,
just understand, modern men, exiled from his own sensitivity, treats
emotion like a negotiable currency, traded for approval, withheld for leverage.

(43:40):
If he studied the dow to ching right, it knows
nothing of approval. It moves as function, not as performance.
Many men are performing and they're mad that are being played.
If you can't be real, why should she?

Speaker 11 (43:59):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Oh did I say so? The doao moves its function,
not as performance. Therefore, tonight's topic. Right, We're gonna try
to give you some insights to train the psyche to
move like water, pressurelessless, relentless, and precise. Right, every section,

(44:28):
I want you to follow how we do this principal
practice and integration. Right. First off, brothers, stop being polite.
Polite as pretense and pretense is fake. You were taught
to be polite from childhood. One of the reallest things

(44:49):
my children taught me is when I took them to
see their grandmother, and my little Sagittarius kids were like, Nah,
we're gonna stand in the car. Her house stink.

Speaker 9 (45:00):
Now.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
I was mad, you can't talk about your grandmother like that,
But I also recognized as a parent, I can't shut
their voice down. I can have a conversation with them
and say there's certain things to say, right, there's certain
ways to say certain things, and then there's a time

(45:21):
to say certain things. But I couldn't shut their voice
all the way down because that could affect them later on.
They just said it, I don't want to go in there.
I don't like to wear house smells. We'll say hi
from the car. Do you understand many men perform politeness

(45:43):
in order to extrapolate whatever it is They're after validation, sex, acknowledgment,
whatever it is from women. Right, So there's an illusion
of peace. Right, so we have to pursue the death
of politeness. Men, if you are not embodying kindness, you're

(46:05):
playing at it, right, you're playing at it. It's an investment.
Many men are investing through kindness. Acts of kindness right,
the rigid tree will break, but the flexible bamboo will
bend and live. This is the Doo to Ching verse

(46:27):
seventy six. The principle. What society calls peaceful men often
embody anestetized nervous systems. Politeness conceals panic. Calm disguises collapse.
The absence of conflict does not equal serenity, Brothers, it

(46:50):
signals disassociation. In psychology, it is called the fawn response.
Taoism calls is it misdirected yielding flow corrupted by fear.
Listen when the body forgives anger. It also forbids authenticity, Brothers,

(47:15):
are you listening? Nobody wants to have a real conversation.
What would some of your greatest alpha men be, your
alpha males be in this society with no money, no
social media, no fame, no position in life. Would they
still be alphas when the body forbids anger. Listen to me. Now,

(47:44):
when the body forbids anger, it also forbids authenticity. Emotional
paralysis follows moral inflation. Listen again. Emotional paralysis often follows
moral inflation. I am kind becomes the ego's alibi for

(48:07):
cowardice in that inflation hides violence. Ladies, you know this
to be true. Started out sweet, started out kind, loving, caring,
all of that stuff, and then when he didn't get
what he wanted, popped off, became somebody else, my lion

(48:28):
one eight hundred and nine twenty fifteen eighty to get
to your phone lines. I want to talk to you. Right,
let's read it again. When the body forbids anger, it
also forbids authenticity. Emotional paralysis follows moral inflation. I am
kind becomes the ego's alibi for cowardice in that inflation

(48:50):
hides violence, the violence of withholding the truth. Here's a practice, brothers,
that we can implement, a neurosmatic audit. Brothers, sit in silence,
track the micro tensions right behind your smile. And y'all

(49:14):
know y'all be fake smiling. So to track the micro
tensions behind your smile, where does calm end and clenching begin? Clinching,
you know, clenching of the fist, gritting of the teeth. Right,
Think about it for a moment. When did you have

(49:37):
to play like you wanted to be there when you
had When was the last time you had to pretend
like you cared. When was the last time you were
the truth in your relationship? I mean, the unapologetic truth
in your relationship?

Speaker 1 (49:55):
Right?

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Being the truth is part of being soft, according to
the now the way right, it doesn't mean being disrespectful
or you know, denigrating someone's character, diminishing your partner. It
means you're unapologetically you at all times? Can you be you?

(50:20):
Have you been conditioned to be a version of you
around your woman in order to keep peace?

Speaker 3 (50:27):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (50:27):
This is good, this is good. We got callers on
the line. I want to get him in here right now.
A Talla from Houston, Texas. What are your thoughts on
tonight's topic?

Speaker 12 (50:37):
Yo?

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, we in here?

Speaker 5 (50:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (50:45):
We are? You on speakerphone?

Speaker 12 (50:48):
Nope?

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Okay, headphones, AirPods? What we all? Because?

Speaker 6 (50:55):
No?

Speaker 13 (50:55):
No, none of that?

Speaker 2 (50:57):
Okay, cool, you sound better now, so talk to us.
What are your thoughts on tonight's topic?

Speaker 13 (51:04):
Well, I'm gonna disagree if I'm gonna put back onto things,
go ahead to the way the way that of course,
I mean the way that someone is just trained is
kind of like allowing people to play victim man hero
and you can't be both, right, Like if you are
a transactionalist. You're really the villain, then you need to
accept that you're the villain in.

Speaker 12 (51:25):
Your own story.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
Okay, as long.

Speaker 12 (51:29):
As you refuse to go with and you're always going
to be without.

Speaker 13 (51:32):
So this whole idea that like you're just doing this
to make her happy, No, you're doing this to satisfy
her in the host that she will make you happy
because you have no idea how to find that for yourself.

Speaker 12 (51:45):
M hm.

Speaker 13 (51:46):
So I don't really I've been hearing these things. I
just be like, yeah, okay, I mean listen, as long
as you're looking for someone else to make you feel
a certain way, meaning that.

Speaker 12 (51:56):
She has to respond to you in a certain.

Speaker 13 (51:58):
Way, and that says to yourself, oh I'm manly, Oh
I feel good about myself. Like, all of that is codependency, right,
it's enmeshments. It is something that is going to keep
you from not only finding your own voice, but also
being able to hear her authentic voice.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
But wait, wait, go back to my original question. The
original question was crazy and I need you.

Speaker 12 (52:22):
To deal with and you hear the question, so go
ahead and tell me I'm about.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
To can I let me find it? ChIL So the
question that we asked earlier. Right, when a man's softness
is born not of compassion, self compassion, and self love,
but of compliance, does his full performative tenderness become a

(52:52):
weapon used to unconsciously control the woman his woman through
guilt and silence or need.

Speaker 12 (53:00):
It doesn't become a weapon. It was always a weapon.
It was always a weapon.

Speaker 13 (53:06):
That was the manner in which you got what you wanted.

Speaker 12 (53:08):
Right. That's something that I think you spoke to last week.

Speaker 13 (53:11):
Actually, that the ways that we've learned to manipulated childhood
to get our needs met the same weapons that we
used in our relationships as adults.

Speaker 12 (53:20):
Same concept. That's what that is.

Speaker 13 (53:22):
Your niceness, your kindness is fake.

Speaker 12 (53:25):
This is why she nags you, if you want to
be real about it.

Speaker 13 (53:27):
No, the same little fake little things you used to do, like.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Sorry, wait wait, because you got me going right now,
hold on, wait a minute. You know we gotta do
this home run derby of questions, but because because hold on?
But okay, so men have been trained to kind of
fake it until we make it with y'all right you

(53:52):
agree or disagree? Okay?

Speaker 12 (53:54):
How many wait?

Speaker 2 (53:56):
So, how many women mistake a man's emotional passivity for safety,
only to discover that his repression eventually metastasized into convert
covert or overt resentment or emotional tearanny.

Speaker 13 (54:15):
Many of us, I think that happens in a lot
of marriages.

Speaker 12 (54:18):
That whole idea is she just left. I don't know why. No,
that's what that is.

Speaker 14 (54:24):
Like.

Speaker 13 (54:24):
Oh this is crazy, Get out of here.

Speaker 12 (54:27):
Oh no, I thought I was.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
Wait, don't go nowhere, stay right there. The voice of
reason on kb L A talk is on fire when
we come forward more from Houston, Texas.

Speaker 11 (54:43):
We are corresponsible for the do and the four understands bizarre.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
The neff.

Speaker 11 (55:01):
Then what places bizarre?

Speaker 13 (55:05):
Or has it?

Speaker 11 (55:07):
Any place? Where there is love? Is love something so
extraordinarily outside of human existence that it is really active,

(55:30):
no value at all? Oh, because we don't we have
not seen the beauty and the depth and the greatness
sacredness of this world and not the word of the

(55:50):
equality of it. That we haven't the energy time to
study to educate ourselves to understand what it is.

Speaker 2 (56:14):
Because you it's amen if you don't know that voice
by now that is the legendary or was the legendary
Jay Krishna murty. Listen, love is so difficult for the
average mind who hasn't healed, who hasn't sought self realization,

(56:38):
self actualization, who hasn't or from the clinical side, who
hasn't sought individuation. Love is exceedingly difficult. It's a nuisance,
it's an inconvenience. It's an enemy to your happiness. Yes,
love for the unhealed is a nuisance, it's an enemy.

(56:59):
When we are without love, we are codependent. We are searching,
we are seeking in another. But in order to truly
love another, we must first love the disowned, broken pieces
of ourselves. And then we start to magnetize and draw

(57:23):
in people that are on the same frequency, the same
vibration that we're on. We do it in the reverse.
You're unhealed, You call unhealed into your life. You speaking
negatively on yourself through negative self talk, You're causing a

(57:45):
concominant reality to join you. Do you see, d you see?
This show is about a man or men being fake
soft in order to fool women into thinking that they're

(58:06):
nice guys, they're good guys, they're quality guys. Listen, Zoe
Williams never like to you. I was one of those
guys before. I came from a broken home, right, but
I had to evolve out of that kind of man.

(58:28):
I had to grow up out of it. Do you
understand I'm talking to the brothers tonight, and we got
the sisters on the line. We got brothers on the line. Listen,
don't be afraid to call in and share. I got
a question before we go forward. Does a woman's over

(58:52):
functioning mothering, wifing, parenting in the presence of male emotional
paralysis represent true empathy or the unconscious worship of her
own endurance? I need youall, ladies, because I notice there

(59:17):
are a lot of women who will stay with a
man because maybe he has provisions, maybe he got some money,
but he's in emotional paralysis. Right do you are you
unconsciously worshiping your ability to endure? When we come forward,

(59:41):
the home run questioned derby with my niece will commence.

Speaker 14 (59:46):
Disappointment is inevitable. We will disappoint people, and other people
will disappoint us. However, it's important to recognize the difference
between an oversight or an accident and or somebody wanting
you to acclimate or adjust to their not prioritizing you
or treating you in the ways that they themselves desire
to be treated or expect to be treated. Okay, The

(01:00:06):
funny thing about expectations is they truly do exist in everything.
It's a universal thing, all right. But it's important to
recognize if your expectations align with the circumstances and or relationship.
Are they realistic? And be mindful of the person that
says to go through life not having expectations because they
go to a job they expect to be paid for
and they return home to a relationship. Most likely they

(01:00:28):
expect to still be there when they get there, all right,
But we won't have expectations in spaces we don't care about.
So somebody telling you to not have expectations in your
life is easy because they're not invested in that, okay.
And I also want you to get in the habit
of really listening to people, because we will tell people
what matters to us, right. People will tell you how
they like to be treated. People will tell you how

(01:00:49):
they like to be valued, celebrated, and care for. You
may recognize that what you seek is congruent with what
they are also seeking. However, semantics come into play when
it comes time for us to prioritize people the same
way lightning strikes twice and accidents do happen, But somebody's
repetitive exhibition of not prioritizing the relationship or you is

(01:01:09):
not an accident. Keep people in rooms that they deserve
to be in instead.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
Of making I've had enough. Who was that talking? Is
it is Isaiah for Zelli? Listen? I've had enough of
that kind of talk. Listen? Who gives a damn?

Speaker 9 (01:01:33):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Don't prioritize people who don't prioritize you. You ain't gotta
prioritize me? How about that? Why don't I take it
off your hands? I love me enough for the both
of us?

Speaker 9 (01:01:47):
Do you?

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
People be playing with you? They know prioritizing you is
in a psycho spiritual opiate. They know you gonna get
sprung off of that, and they're gonna weaponize it because
most people are broken and wounded and petty. Can we

(01:02:11):
be honest? So guess what I'm gonna do me. I'm'a
love me for real. I'mna love me better than you
ever could because you never could love yourself. Is that
not the majority of people we're dealing with?

Speaker 12 (01:02:30):
Ah?

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Sure, there are people out there who really love themselves
and thus can love others. But the majority of people
you're dealing with is a holographic, psycho spiritual textbook that's
designed to hurt you so you can learn more about yourself.
I know people don't want to hear put that way,

(01:02:53):
but that's really what it is. How many people gonna
go all all the way to the ends of the
world to make it work with another human being? Boy,
we get tired of people fast, don't we. Hah, Hey man,
I don't know how many times. And I'm not talking

(01:03:15):
about somebody that's physically violent, or you know, somebody that's
psychologically abusive, or emotionally abusive or verbally I'm not talking about.
I'm talking about a human being making mistakes in your life.
We be like, oh, okay, you, but you a whole
grown ass man.

Speaker 15 (01:03:36):
How you still making mistakes? Wait, you're a whole grown
ass woman. How you still tripping? We quit on each
other quick. We're intimate quitters. So guess what happens?

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
People start adapting performing, And tonight's topic is talking about
this man, the exiled Protector.

Speaker 5 (01:04:08):
DC.

Speaker 2 (01:04:10):
He's looking for an overfunctioning woman. You gotta mother me.
You gotta wife me, you gotta partner me, you gotta
you gotta cook for me, you gotta love on me.
You gotta finish what my mama didn't do. That's who
he's looking for at the cost of her own piece.
He don't mind. And he did everything he was supposed

(01:04:32):
to do to get you. What did he do? He performed?
He tap danced you wana, pulled the chair up. Oh yeah,
I got the chair, baby, I got the car wash.
So I'm gonnam gonna I'm gona pick you up. You understand,
I'm gonna pick you up, and I'm gonna take you

(01:04:53):
on down there. We gonna go to Noboo Malibu No Boo. Yeah,
I'm gonna go to Boo No, which is next door
to No Boo No. Listen, we don't put on a
show this whole time, right, we don't put on the

(01:05:14):
whole show, ladies, and then you find out, Wow, he
was really mean under all of that pretense. One twenty
fifteen eighty. Let's get it cracking a tila. Are you
ready for the question derby.

Speaker 12 (01:05:33):
That you already know, you already know how you know?
Let's go all right?

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
Ready, here we go, Here we go. If a woman
must mother her partner's wounded in her boy to feel safe,
does that not confirm that the archetypal mother wound has
merely changed costumes?

Speaker 13 (01:06:01):
Did it change costumes? That's like it has always been that.
I mean, I maybe it changed sets. Your location is different,
but the same as the same person's, same same outfit.

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
Wow.

Speaker 13 (01:06:13):
Wow, if you're an adult now doing the same thing
that you've always been doing. And this is what I
find interesting because typically there is a trail of brothers.
We're talking about relationships and dating, but what about your teachers,
your advisors, you're religious leaders, they've all been your mother's
let's continue.

Speaker 2 (01:06:32):
Oh my god, my niece is in the building from Houston, Texas.
I tell her she's up here swinging for the fish.

Speaker 13 (01:06:42):
I'm not even done because I got I got a
Bible Verse for you. That's go knock your talk off.

Speaker 12 (01:06:46):
The keeps going.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
I want the Bible Verse. Come on, let's go to
church this evening. Andy, where the keys?

Speaker 13 (01:06:57):
So this is actually out of one of the band
books that the Bible. To be clear, y'all not gonna
be able to find it if you don't have the
apocryphor but this is some Ecclesiasticus twenty six, twenty three,
and it says a wicked woman is given as a
portion to a wicked man, but a godly woman is
given to him that fear of the Lord.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
My mind, my my, my mind. We need a.

Speaker 9 (01:07:19):
Praise, Brakay, go ahead?

Speaker 12 (01:07:42):
So what does that mean? What does that mean? That
means you give what you get.

Speaker 13 (01:07:45):
You don't throw a fit? Right, there are no surprises
in what you have aligned with.

Speaker 12 (01:07:51):
So if she's evil.

Speaker 13 (01:07:53):
And bad and all these wicked things, he's horrible.

Speaker 12 (01:07:55):
What are you?

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
Huh? Right? And vice, let's talk real. You pick, you
pick whoever you pick, because most of us are picking
to avoid problems, right, So you pick whoever you pick,
and then problems still show up. That means you still
have to develop the skill set in order to navigate

(01:08:17):
those problems.

Speaker 12 (01:08:20):
Look, because it's in you, it's not on you.

Speaker 5 (01:08:23):
I think what you.

Speaker 13 (01:08:23):
Just described previously was we're trying to focus on what
is on us that outfits the date, the trips, the
whatever is in our external. Remember I said, as long
as you refuse to go within, you're all that's going
to be without. So again, like it doesn't really matter
what you do on the outside, how you look, how
many books you read, how many gyms you go through.

Speaker 12 (01:08:44):
Bro, we don't care like you still won't get what
you're supposed to get.

Speaker 13 (01:08:47):
And I think that that's something that we have to
really look into. And it's so interesting how men will
want a mother and then resent that same mother for
showing up in their life.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
And then they get a mama and.

Speaker 13 (01:09:03):
Then resent the always yeah yeah, she always naggaby. Maybe
because you need to grow up a little bit. Maybe
you didn't clean your room up enough, your spiritual room.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
And said, hold you accountable, Hey, hot, we got questions,
we got can no, let's have this conversation. Child. Can
intimacy exist where accountability is absent? Or does compassion without
confrontation merely enabled the slow decay of respect? When we

(01:09:38):
come forward, we going back to Houston, Texas to get
my niece's answers.

Speaker 9 (01:09:43):
Let's do it.

Speaker 16 (01:09:44):
Be the reason people believe in good hearts and good souls,
with good energy and beautiful intentions, deliver good love and
good space so that everyone who sits amongst it knows
what good company and good vibes feel like. Be the
reason people feel comfortable and feel good and the light
be their way. Let them rest in good presence forever
and allow them to be just who they are with you.

(01:10:07):
Be the reason people believe that life can be good
despite what they experience. You made it and so have they.
It's your take on life that offers the greatest example,
and I love you for that. Be the reason people
have authentic souls who have no ulterior motives, are no
use to cause harm. People need people that they can trust.
The best example is you, and be the reason people believe.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
The reason trust does a lie. I've been telling you
guys this for years. Somebody gonna catch on. I'm sorry.
Trust is part of codependence. I need to be able
to trust you. I need to know that you're safe.
That means you're not safe internally. Yep. Let me give

(01:10:55):
my niece back in here. We're gonna do a whole
topic on trust. How about that. Let's get it a
whole topic on trust.

Speaker 13 (01:11:07):
To trust or not trust? That is the question.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
That is the question. So the question I asked before
we came forward, and now that we've come full circle.
Can intimacy exist where accountability is absent? Or does compassion
with our confrontation merely enable the slow decay of respect.

Speaker 13 (01:11:27):
You cannot have What was the first part, you can't have?

Speaker 2 (01:11:30):
Can intimacy exist where accountability is absent?

Speaker 13 (01:11:36):
There we go, Yeah, you cannot have intimacy without accountability
because accountability is intimacy.

Speaker 12 (01:11:46):
Is to be vulnerable?

Speaker 13 (01:11:48):
Really, yes, for me, I know it definitely is, because
I'm not saying that.

Speaker 12 (01:11:56):
How do I say this?

Speaker 13 (01:11:56):
There are certain things that it is hard for me
to be accountable about because I have shame behind it.
So in order for me to be intimate with you,
it would mean that I would be being accountable to you,
to myself, to my higher self, whatever you want to say.

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
Come on, let's get these rapid fire questions. Listen, let's go,
let's go, let's go. How does a man who cannot
forgive himself inevitably train the women in his life to
become extensions of his punishment narrative? Oh my god?

Speaker 12 (01:12:29):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 13 (01:12:30):
Well, essentially, like I think what is is that people
kind of vibe off of your frequency. So if your
frequency is self loathing, people will load you as.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Well, keep going, keep going.

Speaker 13 (01:12:41):
So when you talk about self forgiveness, I think that
also extends into other things like negative self talk, but
also the way that you perceive yourself and how you
take on new challenges in your life, right, how you
expand to higher levels.

Speaker 12 (01:12:57):
Right. So I'm not gonna be able to.

Speaker 13 (01:13:00):
Expand to a higher label in relationship with someone if
I haven't forgiven myself, because when you don't forgive yourself,
you must remain small so that your guilt and your
shame can remain big.

Speaker 2 (01:13:10):
So that's self captivity.

Speaker 12 (01:13:14):
Yeah, Basically, if you haven't.

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
Forgiven yourself, you're in self captivity. Oh my god, get
and get this.

Speaker 13 (01:13:21):
You're in captivity with.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
The key, with the key. The key is right under
your pillow. Okay, it is the feminine exhaustion so epidemic today,
not proof of female weakness, but evidence of generations spent
metabolizing male self avoidance through care taking.

Speaker 13 (01:13:47):
Oh lord over, I think all of the male self
avoidance but also female self avoidance. Right, something over focused
on you, I don't have to focus on myself. But
also it gives me something to feel accomplished about, right,
And so I think.

Speaker 12 (01:14:02):
That's why we develop a lot.

Speaker 13 (01:14:04):
Of those autoimmune diseases is because of the stress that
we're put under trying to take care of other people
and neglecting ourselves in the process.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
Patrick Carran says compulsion is the illusion of control over
ungrieved pain. Let's keep going. I got another question for you.
We gotta do it quick. We gotta do it quick.
When a man mistakes self acceptance for self indulgence, does
he unknowingly outsource his conscious to culture, religion, or women,

(01:14:35):
creating dependency disguised as discipline.

Speaker 12 (01:14:39):
Yeah, I'm gonna say add pornto that list as well.

Speaker 5 (01:14:44):
Ye.

Speaker 13 (01:14:45):
Yes, yes, you are outsourcing, trying to excrete so that
you can get to your nirvana if you will. Again,
you're coglecting to within.

Speaker 12 (01:14:55):
Go with it, not without.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
Hey listen, man, I love it. I love it. I
love Tell a guess what you just did? I yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes yes.

Speaker 9 (01:15:06):
Listen.

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
The Voice of Reason has been on complete fire, as
is commonplace. Please understand this about me. I couldn't get
to my brother j W JW. You gotta call in tomorrow,
my friend. I will get you on I promise, But listen,
just know this. We start the conversations, it's really up
to you to finish the conversations. I'm the voice of Reason.

(01:15:30):
I'll be back tomorrow with another slapper. I hope you
guys enjoyed my playlist and the discussion tonight. We'll have
another banger tomorrow Ahalla Deuces