His·Dumb and Her·Mute: The War Between Logos and Eros

Unbalanced Logos (reason) suppresses Eros (relatedness), producing intellectualized intimacy—emotion managed through analysis rather than empathy.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't ever allow a man to think that you are
played in her faceable.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
If a man ever tries.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
To do that, you better show that man that he's replaceable. Next, Please,
every time a man acts like he can't be consistent. Next, please,
every time a man go ghost on you hop in
and out, in and out, in and out of your life.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Next, please, every time a man.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Try to breadm you give you a little morsels of
attention when you know you need commitment. Next, please quit
allowing these men to think that the best you're gonna
accept is a man that's halfway there, either you inside
or you outside.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
But you allow this man to double.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Dutch on your feelings, on your heart, your mind, and
your soul.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
What I'm trying to say.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Is you are too good for a man to be
playing on your face.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Here you are.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
You know you deserve a king, but you entertaining that joker.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
You allowing this man and use your heart, your time,
your energy as recreation. So it's up to you to
show that man that your face ain't play witable, that's
your time ain't wastable, that your heart ain't spoilable, that
your standards ain't suttable.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Stop being a bowl for a man that ain't a bow.
That's your problem. You're too modible for him, You're too
malleable for him, you too thollible for him.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
Stop being played and you're faceable to a man that
ain't able.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
See it's times who is times like this that I
wish I was on serious exim so I could just
start cussing. The brother's name is Ace metaphor. I just

(01:56):
had to breathe a little bit. This is KBLA Talk fifteen.
This is terrestrial Radio, Los Angeles, California. You already know
what it is. Man. This is the most progressive radio station,
black radio talk radio station west of the Mississippi. So
we listen. I gotta breathe, Okay, I gotta breathe. Okay,

(02:19):
I want to cuss him out. See here's the part
that offends me about that kind of rhetoric because it's
flattering to women. Many women are not keen enough to
see that that is not I'm gonna use what he

(02:42):
was using this, you know, play with your play in
your faceable? Okay, See many women, because I mean a
lot of people been hurt, a lot of people been wounded.
They looking for a good word Okay, so many people,
many women, will hear what he's saying, and he will

(03:02):
gain a huge following because he's placating. Right. That wasn't wisdom,
that was hissdom. That was his version of dumb. I'm sorry.
Wisdom equals presence versus hissdom equals control and desired outcome. Listen,

(03:30):
many people have shifted their narrative to fit a certain demographic.
You know who did it in a genius way. Come on, man,
he's a legend. Y'all know who I'm talking about. He
rated women fives. He's a legend out here in these

(03:56):
streets for broken wounded men. He's a leg Kevin Samuels.
Initially he was telling men how to dress and what
cologne to wear, and how to match your pocket square
with your tie, and come on. Initially, but then he

(04:17):
flipped it. And when he flipped it, he became an
international sensation. So sometimes we have to be careful. Even
big corporations, right, big industries do the same thing, the
publishing industry. Listen, they cater to female or women readers.

Speaker 5 (04:46):
Right.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
You can't write nothing, Kevin Samuel ish unless you got
a certified guarantee five or six million followers. That'll make
that book a number one bestseller. I'm just tonight's topic.
We're going to get into it. That clip just triggered me.

(05:09):
The reason why I'm doing this topic tonight is because
I'm having a conversation in the cigar lounge. And people
think their experiences make them wise. No, it makes you knowledgeable, right,
it makes you knowledgeable of certain situations. People think their
relationship experiences make them wise about relationships. Well, for the

(05:37):
most part, most people who are wounded can't be wise.
They can be hypervigilant, and sometimes hypervigilance gets contextualized as wisdom. Right,
do you see what I'm saying? Wisdom versus wisdom? A

(05:59):
radical exploration that seeks to reveal that every successful ideological
construct we have as humans is not an absolute truth,
but merely a work in progress. There is no absolute truth.
We are working bit by bit to understand our place
in this reality. Right. A deeper exploration into the concept

(06:21):
of why the unknown could potentially contain more information than
the known. This is how we grow, This is how
we evolve. Right. I heard Yalla van Zant once say
when you're uncomfortable, that means you're at the end of
what you know. I'm sitting here talking to folk who

(06:43):
know so much about everything, no everything, but yet have
not reached the pinnacle of existence. Now, the pinnacle of existence,
some might think is wealth. But let's go deeper, Carl

(07:08):
Jung said, the pinnacle of existence might be what it
looks like after one individuates. In other words, after one
becomes a whole self. Right, that's what individuation actually means,
you becoming the whole real you. You got men out there

(07:32):
who lean on the gender role. Right, I want to
hear from all of the men out there who think
they can control the situation with money. You got the
men who lean on the gender role. Hey, if I
do this and if I do that, I am old
this and that that's wisdom. That's not wisdom. Do you know?

(07:58):
You could pay for everything and not be present, and
that be the impetus for why she cheats. Right, you
represent a tent, a safe span. But don you hear

(08:19):
what I'm saying. We are a civilization addicted to prediction right,
anxiously scripting futures to avoid feeling the immediacy of now control.
Once a survival mechanism has metastasized, into our collective religion.

(08:42):
It masquerades as responsibility, discipline, right, and progress, yet its
secret sacrament is fear. The nervous system bows to certainty,
the way ancient tribes bowed to thunder, terrified of what
the known might reveal about their own impotence. In Tonight's

(09:07):
episodic ontology, hisdom is not merely patriarchy. It's the masculine
compulsion to domesticate chaos, right or uncertainty, to intellectualize mystery
until it stops breathing. Presence, by contrast, is insurgent. It

(09:31):
requires the demolition of the cognitive empire that colonized our perception. Again,
krish Namurti back in here with us. He calls it
choiceless awareness, the moment in which the mind ceases to
seek safety through definition. Right presence demands that we meet experience.

(09:58):
You see how many some of you guys really want
to have a real relationship? Finally, right? Did to have
a real one? Right without trying to control? Why do
we control brothers? Brothers? Do you need to be in
control of your women? Now? I know there's a brother

(10:23):
listening right now who might call in, and he had
a list of women that said he was controlling. This
is why I cultivated this topic, because I thought about
it when I was in the lounge. Presence demands that
we meet experience without anesthetic, to let the body remember

(10:45):
that wisdom is not learned, it is felt. The DSM
can diagnose control as obsession, philosophy can call it determinism,
and theology can mistake it for profit. Yet beneath every
taxonomy hums the same trauma frequency fear of dissolution. That's

(11:10):
what the ego is afraid of. We want to remain intact,
even when the very idea of intact is the cage. Clinically,
control is an elaborate form of dissociation. It replaces somatic
truth with cognitive choreography, right spreadsheets for intimacy, strategies for love,

(11:38):
rituals for spontaneity. The traumatized psyche confuses management with meaning attachment.
Science shows us that when the infant's cries meets inconsistency,
the adult learns to curate instead of connecting. The nervous

(12:01):
system builds walls and calls them wisdom, not as hissdom.
That's his perspective, that's his experience. That's not wisdom. Wisdom
is universal. Wisdom is presence based. Hissdom is fear based.
Do you see, Doctor David R. Hawkins calibrates and exposes

(12:26):
the illusion here? Fear vibrates very low. Surrender vibrates higher,
very high even, But not surrender out of fear, surrendering
out of understanding. That's a totally different type of surrender.

(12:46):
Every grasping thought lowers the frequency, every breath of allowance
lifts it. Anthropologically speaking, our species evolved inside uncertainty. Every
early shaman knew how to navigate the unknown through symbol,

(13:09):
not through control. Do you see tonight we're gonna delve
into the meaning of wisdom in our intimate relationships versus hissdom.
Those who use hissdom use control to maintain some level

(13:31):
of certainty. Those who use wisdom use presence, being present
even in an uncomfortable, dissatisfying, disappointing moment. When we come
forward the Voice of Reason, we're gonna open up the

(13:53):
phone lines. I need to talk to my brothers and
my sisters tonight. Are you operating in wisdom or hissdom?
When we come forward, the vo r gonna keep cooking.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
The average woman that's on my page right now, when
I talk about, hey, keep your options open. If you're
not exclusively dating somebody, you know what I'm saying, ve
multiple men at the same time, go to coffee, here,
go here. You ain't got to sleep with them. But
if you single, be single, find it. If you say
that there's women even internalized Nah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
I can't do that. That'll make you a hoe.

Speaker 6 (14:29):
No, for sure it will, how because you can't keep
like I look at guys through my lens. I know
that there is guys that's out there that look at
relationships and just perspective like me.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
You not about to sit up here and be going.

Speaker 6 (14:47):
To coffee dates and other dates with multiple versions of
cam and ain't nobody gonna want nothing out of it?

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Like I said this before, I don't kiss the cuddle like.

Speaker 6 (14:58):
I'm not going on date just to be able to
say I'm actively dating.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
I'm going on dates to score.

Speaker 6 (15:06):
I'm not trying to get friend zone, bro, I'm trying
to get in the end zone.

Speaker 7 (15:09):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
But you understand now is that now? Is that a
projection then?

Speaker 3 (15:12):
Right?

Speaker 1 (15:12):
So like now it's saying okay, because this is how
I operate as a man, I'm now projecting how I
think all those.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Other men are are operating.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
And now I'm uncomfortable with you exploring your options as
a woman and picking the best suitors because here's the thing, Cam,
there's some people that might be the best suitor on paper.
It's a lot of with a lot of money that
turned out to be lamess or can't be monogamous, or
whatever the case may be. So on paper, yeah, I'm
out here with this particular person, but this dude to
work at Luis's janitorial service.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
The TENI for you.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, and so I only know that to vetting multiple people.
And then here's the thing, even if we're gonna be
honest about it, that better suits that man because how
many women are unhappy in relationships because they only date
one the time. So you are the facto the man

(16:04):
she settled for because there was nothing to compare it
to during the dating process, So.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
It wasn't like you was the Hey, listen, hissdom, that's hisdom.
You hear a couple of things you agree with, you'd
be like, yeah, that was like, that's hissdom. Listen, man,
Broken people, insecure people remember attachment theory?

Speaker 5 (16:29):
Right?

Speaker 3 (16:30):
These children that have insecure attachment styles learned how to
strategize and manipulate in order to get from their parents
what their parents probably wasn't willing to give or didn't
have the capacity to give. They learned how to manipulate
to get what they want. This is why I'm doing

(16:52):
wisdom versus hisdom. Relationship is the university of you, and
there's a tre tremendous amount of self wisdom. In the
environment of intimate relationship. You can learn a great deal
about yourself. However, if you're unhealed, it certainly can be

(17:17):
argued that when a person who has not yet begun
or who has permanently aborted the Youngin journey Carl Jung,
the journey of individuation, the process by which the consciousness
or the conscious self and the unconscious psyche integrate into

(17:39):
a coherent self control, becomes the ego's counterfeit of unity.
Do you understand That's what happens. It becomes the ego's
counterfeit of unity, the unindividuated self as as a mechanistic

(18:02):
romantic tyrant, a manipulative mechanistic romantic tyrant. Carl Jung nineteen
fifty nine warned that the unindividuated psyche mistakes the ego
for the self and thereby externalizes its internal governance onto others. Ladies,

(18:26):
how many of you have dating a broken man and
he tried to micromanage through microaggressions to try to control you.
And I'm not saying women don't do it either. There
are men who've experienced that coming from women too. DC.
Are you listening to what this man just said on

(18:47):
the clip? He's just out for sex, and that's fine,
I get it, Go get it, that's fine, But be
honest in your pursuit of it. If that's all you want,
say that from the jump. Don't go to the manipulative route.
Take the l that's coming. Don't do the magic trick.

(19:13):
You know how many women got played by dudes faking
to be interested, faking to be invested, and then the
woman opens up and then he scores. Remember what he said,
I'm not trying to get in the friend zone. I'm
trying to get in the end zone. He did say that, right,

(19:38):
How many men are dissatisfied after they scored a touchdown?
Come on, are we gonna have the conversation or not?
When we come forward? The voice of reason is opening
up the phone lines. Get in here.

Speaker 8 (19:53):
If she kept choosing you at the cost of herself,
don't be surprised when she finally chooses herself at the
cost of you, because it's your fault that you thought
she would keep choosing your unpredictability over her peace. She
just wanted to be your safe haven, but you thought
you could treat her like your little safety net until
she unraveled every thread of your delusion by distancing herself.

(20:13):
And you might think that's her plan hard to get,
but she ain't playing. That's the reality of her being
the one that you regret taking for granted and now
the woman that you neglect that has become the woman you.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, way pause A god, ain't pleased.
I smell something as who is that talking.

Speaker 6 (20:37):
Is?

Speaker 3 (20:38):
That's Derek Jackson. This is the perfect example of hisisdom
placting to the audience. Oh my god, and you get
pulled in because it's a little articulate. It is making

(21:00):
a little bit of sense. Nah, I'm just listening. I'm like, hey, yeah,
because you know what, you interrupted her peace and you
know what else Bob Marley said, don't love a woman
unless you really want to do it, and you get
the you, you get caught up in it. Don't let
your wounds. Man just be like, yeah, that's a good message.

(21:25):
You need to understand a lot of times guys are
saying things in a manipulative way to get what they want. Right.
We learned that early being don't talk so much, don't
share so much of your emotions. Andy just said, the

(21:46):
Disney Channel taught him keep them talking because women like
to talk. Keep asking questions. Yeah, but what I'm trying
to explain saying to women is this, Yo, when a
man hasn't gotten on his spirit walk, where he's trying

(22:14):
to excavate internal wisdom, right, where he's trying to understand
who and what he is fundamentally right, you're gonna get
a mechanistic romantic tyrant that's gonna follow the rules of
society that says, if I open the door, if I

(22:37):
pay for everything, if I do everything, you lose agency.
To me. The unindividuated self as a mechanistic tyrant. I'm
gonna read that part again. Carl Jung nineteen fifty nine
warned that the unindividuated psyche mistakes the ego for the

(23:00):
self and thereby externalizes its inner governance on to others.
This is how a lot of brothers are showing up,
but not just brothers, women too. They do this as well.
Now in relational space, this produces what could be called

(23:23):
the romantic authoritarian, a lover guru or visionary who preaches
intimacy but practices dominion. Is that not the brother that was?
Just where's Derek Jackson? Can we put him back on?
This is literally how his story played out.

Speaker 8 (23:41):
Play it again, and now the woman that you neglect
it has become the woman you can't reach because when
she tried to tell you that she needed more from you,
you turned the tables on her like she was asking
for too much or stressing you out, or you just
snapped out until it felt like she was tiptoeing around
your emotional land mines, and eventually she decided the payout
ain't worth the potential explosion and tiptoed right out of
your life because it's never allowed. When a woman mentally

(24:04):
checks out, it's in those good responses that replaced the
long explanations about how your behavior made her feel and
that I'm good, it's just cold for I'm gone and
ain't no love, bombing your way back into her good graces.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
Now that renewed entry.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
Listen, he's I even heard they back together. I heard
they broke up and they back together.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (24:28):
Wisdom. Wisdom is about conquering your inner demons. We talked
about Joseph Campbell, the hero's journey, leaving your home which
is your known and coming back transformed, familiar yet different.

(24:49):
See lacking integration. Right. Such a person wields control as
compensation for their internal fragmentation. Listen, I'm as fragmented as
any one of you guys out there. I'm not perfect.
I've I've probably failed ten times more than an average guy,

(25:11):
and I'm still falling. I thought about it this morning.
I was gonna pull the parachute. I'm still falling. I
was gonna pull the ripcord. So I'm not here to
say I'm better than or I understand more. What I'm
saying is we want to get what we didn't get

(25:31):
in childhood so bad that manipulation and uh you know,
performing in a robotic, mechanistic way in order to get
what we want seems easier than it is to be
present with our wounds, present with our partners right, Just

(25:56):
being the truth of who you are is a real
hard thing to do for a lot of people, both
men and women. And as long as we can secure
what it is that we need, we think we have
the energy to keep up the charade. I've got callers
on the line from all over the country. Are we ready? Okay,

(26:21):
We'll get them on the other side. This is about
to be deep compensation for their fragmentation. Their spirituality becomes managerial,
their tenderness supervisory. Oh my goodness. Drawing on the collapse
of control, this archetype confuses safety with possession.

Speaker 9 (26:45):
Right.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
That's why monogamy is such a big thing. And monogamy
is just the sweet way of saying I own you,
Oh my God. Because the unconscious remains split right in
two separate spaces. The nervous system equates proximity with power.
Control becomes an emotional prosthetic right, an attempt to hold

(27:09):
together what inner coherence has yet to be achieved. Doctor
David R. Hawkins, two thousand and one. Map of Consciousness
will calibrate this vibration between fear and pride. That's where
most of us are operating. That's where wisdom makes sense.
Brother you can't be in her playing in her faceable

(27:31):
because you're replaceable if you play in her facible hissdom.
And we need wisdom in the relationship, and wisdom is
difficult to cultivate. When we come forward, here we go,
we're gonna get to the phone lines Denver, Oakland, and Houston.

Speaker 10 (27:50):
And your healthiest relationships and marriages. It will not only
bring out the best version of you, but what people
don't often reveal is that it will all also bring
out the worst version of you. In order for the
best version of yourself to emerge, the worst version of
yourself must exit the premises, and usually in your healthiest relationships.

(28:13):
The reason why many spouses can say that the other
person has saw the worst in them is because they
felt safe and secure enough to allow the person the
things that habits, the proclivities that have been suppressed and
hidden for so long to come out from hiding, because
they trust the other person won't leave when they see

(28:33):
the worst version of themselves. In your healthiest marriages and
even relationships, the worst of you has to come out
in order for the best version of you to ever emerge,
and when you're with the right person, they will love you,
and they will love the worst version of you because
they know your heart and they know the best version

(28:54):
of you has yet to arrive to the scene.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
Wait a minute, I I got a little confused that
I was listening. I'm gonna say that's wisdom. Maybe he
just didn't have the words to tie it all the
way in, but I'm gonna say that was wisdom. Okay,
But yeah, he was right. Relationships, the ones that matter. Yeah,

(29:22):
you're gonna see the ugliest side of your partner. And
he was saying that one partner has to feel safe
enough to even show you that. Yeah, I approve of
that message. I'm going to the phone lines right now.
I mean, these the clips got me triggered. I don't

(29:43):
know what to expect. We heard a bunch of wisdom,
and that was the first piece of wisdom. I love it.
I love it. I love it. Sean Oakland, California, what
are your thoughts on tonight's topic? Really quickly talk to me.

Speaker 5 (29:56):
I'll be quick. But though, when you have someone that
you are absolutely in love with, truly and you are
that they are your better how and you're actually doing
the things that you need to do to make sure
that she understands with all these other things, you know,

(30:20):
don't let them interfere. Don't let them interfere, because you know,
if you're really going to communicate, which is what everything
is all about, communication everything, make sure you let your
better half or the person you really want to be
there with understand what you're saying and communicating, because if

(30:45):
you do that, you probably have a long relationship going on.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
I believe you. I believe Sean. Guess what you just did,
my friend.

Speaker 5 (30:55):
Oakland brother, I love it.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
Town business, Oakland in the house of You want to
bring in a city in the building. That you gotta
do is call me a one eight hundred nine, twenty
fifteen eighty. You know the routine, you know the deal,
you know how to get in here. One eight hundred nine,
twenty fifteen eighty. We got more callers on the line.
Cali Soul, Denver, Colorado. What up? What up? What up?

(31:19):
What are your thoughts on tonight's topic? You don't like it?
I know, I know.

Speaker 11 (31:26):
What are you all doing.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Working on your soul? Whether you know it or not? Cali?

Speaker 11 (31:33):
Absolutely absolutely.

Speaker 3 (31:34):
Oh and thank you for the little oatmeal container. I
got it.

Speaker 11 (31:40):
Oh, you're welcome. I hope you can utilize it.

Speaker 3 (31:42):
I will.

Speaker 5 (31:44):
Very good.

Speaker 11 (31:45):
Now can I say what Andy said off air on air?

Speaker 3 (31:49):
Well, as long as long as he wasn't cursing, But yes,
you can.

Speaker 11 (31:53):
Say, okay, okay, Andy said, Andy has said that she
was you think that or do you want to say it?

Speaker 3 (32:03):
In no, you said you got him.

Speaker 11 (32:05):
Yes, he said that.

Speaker 4 (32:07):
Uh.

Speaker 11 (32:07):
He thinks that they should be able to tell us
when they meet us or soon after, rather than happened
to take us out on a date, that he should
let they should be able to wait.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
And Andy said, you messing up his words. So Andy,
co come in here and say what you said. Now
people need to hear. Now, Andy's gonna he's gonna say
it again.

Speaker 6 (32:31):
Here we go, Andy, generally speaking, women probably don't like
to hear the straightforwardness.

Speaker 3 (32:41):
He said. You you said women like lies over the truth.
Absolutely talk to me, Andy, Oh my bad.

Speaker 6 (32:53):
Y'all would like a nice little sweet lie as opposed
to us coming just straightforward.

Speaker 3 (32:57):
I don't know too many women that that would.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Want the straightforwardness. I mean, I'll take that back.

Speaker 6 (33:02):
You guys want the straightforwardness, but you guys wanted packaged
beautifully all right.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
All right? As a woman as a grown woman. Lord,
have mercy, grown.

Speaker 11 (33:14):
Chocolate, growntail woman?

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Come on now? Is he right?

Speaker 11 (33:21):
He is absolutely right, And I'm gonna tell you what
I'm about to be right about me was up in
here tonight because it's gonna help my sister out because
he and I on the same same accord when it
comes to this, the same way y'all want to be
able to tell us that we would love for y'all

(33:45):
to reveal what's going on with the package because we
don't want our time wasted. Do you got the meat
that make me want to have a seat? Now, if
you're gonna ask me a question like what you're gonna
ask and can I ask you that?

Speaker 3 (34:00):
And will you do ask that?

Speaker 2 (34:02):
But you're probably gonna be disappointed in the response.

Speaker 11 (34:05):
That's cool, But you know then okay, I can move
on with my life. You ain't got a message. You
ain't gotta pay for no date or do go on
no long walks in the park holding my hands, you know,
and we both save times, right.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
Absolutely, especially if that's all the relationship is predicated on.
And if that's the case, we can just go down
to figure roa.

Speaker 11 (34:31):
Well, now, wait a minute, that's not what that.

Speaker 7 (34:37):
Piece of it.

Speaker 11 (34:38):
I absolutely see that, but there is that piece of it.
But it sounds like what he's saying is like there's
some times that y'all aren't You're really not gonna be
interested in the woman either way. You just wanna, you know,
get your rocks off and keep it pushing.

Speaker 3 (34:54):
Wait, stay right there, don't go nowhere. This is good.
Oh they done trigger Andy, Andy done trigger the callers.
It's total mayhem up in the v o R. When
we come forward more from Denver, Colorado. Let's get it.

Speaker 12 (35:09):
It's achilles heel is really in consideration if you really
think about it, it's just in consideration. Like that is
one of the things that when they go to therapy,
when they seek intervention, when they when they try to
heal on their journey, Like that's one of the topics
that need focused consideration because avoidance, by nature, love to

(35:32):
like leave out information, leave gaps, leave things for you
to interpret. Because they like the ability to pivot. Their
whole thing is their ability to pivot. They want to
change their mind without having a check in to talk
to you, to ask for permission, ask for approval. They

(35:54):
want to just be able to operate on their own
type of time. Their their thing is, they're maintaining their independence,
and so if they want to go out with friends,
best believe they're only going to tell you that, like, hey,
we're going up the street, you know, super low key,
we're going to McDonald's. Like we're just gonna go and like.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
Gets hey, that's attached with Antonio And yes, he was
in his car. He was dropping some jewels. Man Tonight's top.
Let me tell you something. It is an absolute psychological,
psycho spiritual riot going on in the chat. The chat.

(36:33):
I wish, I wish everybody who could hear this sound
of my voice could experience this chat because they're going crazy,
the people calling in, people having breakthroughs. It's really going
down Tonight's topic. When we're unhealed. It's okay, listen, we're unaware,

(36:54):
but what we are aware of is desire, and we
are equipped with tools to get them, the tools of strategy. Right,
they're strategic tools, they're manipulative tools. Right. From an analytic

(37:18):
psychological standpoint, This control based romantic authoritarianism we've been talking
about expresses the inflation of the persona and repression of
the shadow. The persona performs enlightened presence. The shadow manipulates

(37:40):
outcomes to avoid vulnerability. Listen to what I'm saying. Listen,
relationships are to designed to break you down and reveal
you to you, and you take responsibility and start the
individuation process, the healing process. It's a lifelong process. You're
never going to be done. But if you're continuously ten
to's devoted to that process, you're getting better every day.

(38:05):
The better you get, the less you rely on manipulation,
on control. Listen to what I'm saying here, I'm gonna
make a distinction. We've got to change it from control
to design. Presence has to meet this ability to design

(38:26):
the kind of relationship we really want. Fear and ego
keeps us in control mode. I gotta hold on, I
gotta manipulate, I gotta make sure that this never gets away.
But you understand. So now control turns into precision design

(38:50):
right where we're building this thing. Now, control is no
longer a prison, a psycho spiritual prison where I feel
trapped by my partner. It's now the vertebrae, the spine
of the intimate relationship. Relationship Without that spine has no direction,

(39:12):
has no purpose. It dissolves. Do you understand? Sorry my
granddaughter calling she sorry anyway, It has no purpose? Do
you see? So what we're trying to do is merge
all of this together. When you have an unhealed person,

(39:34):
they're gonna seek to perform and do everything they need
to do in order to keep you locked in, in
order to keep you interested. Right, do you see? But
when you have someone who is on this individuation process,
now relationship starts to look a little different. We're designing

(40:00):
with purpose in mind. Right, Oh, this is deep. We
got so many people calling it. The phone lines are
absolutely jacked. We got Charlotte, North Carolina, Denver, Colorado, Houston, Texas, Mississippi,
and New York. We in the building right now. Let
me get everybody on. Let's go back to calisl and

(40:21):
get Cali Sol's final thought. Am I making any semblance
of sense here? Right now?

Speaker 11 (40:28):
You absolutely are what I call what people who show
up and get the performing with a script in their
back pocket that they don't let you know any of
the any of the scripts, but they do have one
in their pocketbook or in their back pocket. I call
it the panthering panda, the who the pandering panda, pandering.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
Panda, the pandering panda.

Speaker 11 (40:55):
Come to pandering panda. And one thing I recognize now
about my journey at least, and I'm sure a lot
of other folks will too. Once your wings have spread
and they've dried, you can't talk them back in the box.
You see the pathern pad and you recognize you have
the choice whether or not to move war with that

(41:18):
person or not right now. In regards to what any
was saying, I was just saying this, we're all human,
male and female. We all have sexual desires. Yes, it's
been a moot topic for women to have the same

(41:39):
amount of sexual driver as men. But realistically it's just
that society has told us to shut up about our sexuality.

Speaker 3 (41:48):
It's it's true, it's true. But I also believe sex
leads a lot of the relationship interaction, meaning doesn't really lead.
If you talk to most people, when we talk intimacy,
they usually default to sex. They don't understand that looking
you in your eye is intimacy. Listening to you is intimacy.

(42:13):
Do you understand what?

Speaker 11 (42:15):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (42:16):
Right? Walking with you right, Yeah, that's intimacy. Right. Let's
let's synchronize our breath. That's intimacy. Yes, most people don't
know that though you're talking about something that even that

(42:36):
is rare. Go ahead, finish.

Speaker 11 (42:39):
I think that sometimes with this sexual tension comes this
brain fog and sometimes as humans who just need to
get the sex out the way, whether it's with the
person that you actually are trying to get to know.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
Wait, hold on, hold on, clear your mind. You gonna
give them dessert before dinner?

Speaker 11 (43:04):
No no, no, no, no, no, no no, you're not understanding
what I'm saying. Help me with what Andy's talking about.
That's how you end up being that person that that's
all I come to for, right right, an agreement like
this is what we do.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
We just get down right right.

Speaker 11 (43:21):
But you're not the person that I want to spend
the rest of my life with. You're that person I
want to build with. You're just the person that holds
me down in this area. As humans try to make
it seem like or should I say, in society, we
want to act like that doesn't exist.

Speaker 9 (43:34):
But it exists.

Speaker 11 (43:35):
It's just arguing involuntarily or involuntarily.

Speaker 3 (43:38):
And that's until you and that's until y'all catch feelings.

Speaker 11 (43:43):
I mean, yeah, yeah, because.

Speaker 3 (43:45):
Because when when when Donkey Kong show up and start
knocking them barrels down, you be like, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 11 (44:00):
Sir, I'm gon.

Speaker 3 (44:02):
Huh yeah, So you're playing a game. You don't even
know the rules to psycho spiritually.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
Is game.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
Let me tell you something. You can escape meaning for
a moment. It's meaning is encoded in the moment. Every
moment you trivialize, there is meaning inscribed on it, and
it don't hit you until you gotta walk away from it.
Oh yeah, yeah, you want me to bring you back

(44:33):
to reality. You want to play games with me?

Speaker 9 (44:35):
Huh yeah.

Speaker 11 (44:37):
I've experienced that as well, where it's like oh wow,
yeah and they're like, no, it was just this right. Yeah,
I hear what you're saying.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
Yeah, keep playing with the moment and see it. Don
it come back and haunt you. That's all I got
to side. The moment is like a boomerang. Ain't no
throwaway moments. Child who said, Okay, you know I love you.
Guess what you just did my love?

Speaker 9 (45:06):
I thought this in the house, Denver.

Speaker 3 (45:09):
Condorallo is in the building. You want to bring your
city in the building. Now you got to do is
call me one, eight hundred nine twenty fifteen eighty. We
got all sisters on the line. Let's get him in here.
Let's go at Tolla, Houston, Texas. You're up next. What
are your thoughts?

Speaker 13 (45:24):
Shall don't mock me because I'm gonna go off.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
All right, let me get out your way, go ahead.

Speaker 13 (45:33):
I can't say the M word on the radio, but
I'm gonna say this. Look, as far as these situations
with these men's is on these dates, they know they
face cart is going to cline before the MX declines.
That's what this is about. I'm sorry, I haven't seen
a lot of good looking dudes really complain in the
way that some of these other men do. And it's
no shade.

Speaker 5 (45:51):
I mean, like you.

Speaker 13 (45:52):
Look how you look. You can't nobody change up?

Speaker 3 (45:55):
You just said some artists declined. You said it ain't
no shade.

Speaker 13 (45:59):
What ain't I mean?

Speaker 11 (46:01):
You tell me?

Speaker 13 (46:02):
You know, I'm just saying you might be shooting outside
your your price range, my boy. But like to be honest,
I don't see how you can complain in being so
transactional over someone's body. You understand that sex is an exchange.
It is a spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, exchange, and you're

(46:22):
okay with doing that, right, but you're not okay with
doing the work that it takes to investigate if this
person is even worth risking what it is that you're risking.
You're opening yourself emotionally. That's crazy. But that's neither hearing
nor there. The next thing, as far as the wisdom
and versus hism, wisdom is going to tell you to heal.

(46:44):
Your wisdom is going to tell you to convert.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Come on, keep going.

Speaker 13 (46:49):
Come on, because at the end of the day, we
want to convert other people to our point of view,
our lame way of thinking, the same way of thinking
that keeps you stuck. You would rather convert other people
to that instead of expand past whatever limitations you have
based on your wounds. That's that's the end all be
all at the end of the day. So I don't
be the little people. I'm not saying I don't have

(47:10):
any compassion, But a lot of times these situations that
people have, they're not they're not black and white in
the way that they make a shame. And that's for
men and for women, right, and so depending on what
your level of understanding is of yourself, that's how you're
gonna communicate with that other person? Right, So, if there's
something in me that I have yet to really discover,

(47:32):
let's say it has something to do with the past
abuse in childhood. If I have yet to really reconcile
that within myself, what am I going to be like
with that other person when it comes to anything of intimacy.
I'm gonna be defensive?

Speaker 3 (47:45):
Right right, Yes.

Speaker 13 (47:47):
You get the idea. So this is why we run
from the person that's more like a counselor a seer,
somebody who can really tell you about yourself. You don't
want that. You want the person that's wil.

Speaker 3 (47:58):
Be easy time you missing a whole other piece? Do
you know how sexy the healing counselor archetype is you
coming to their life. You you see a little some
you start sharing some wisdom. Next thing you know, they
want a little piece, They want a piece of a

(48:22):
counselor they get some of the counsel.

Speaker 13 (48:24):
Archie Kelly just said yes when she was talking about
like women and how like you know, obviously we're sexual
being too one hundred percent. I definitely think that we
can smash and not how feelings for y'all and I
think that's oftentimes like some of the status realizations for men,
because your ego has told you she gonna catch feelings,
she's gonna such such she might not. It depends how

(48:46):
damaged are you and how damaged is she.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
Andy said, good for us.

Speaker 13 (48:55):
Andy, you friend, We all know you ancient occupied in
these streets. Some plady James don't.

Speaker 11 (49:00):
Don't play with me, bro, No, you like.

Speaker 13 (49:04):
The performative acts. That's why you attract performative women. You
like that because that gives you something to feel worthy
about yourself. You feel like I did something, but you didn't.

Speaker 11 (49:14):
You didn't do anything.

Speaker 13 (49:15):
This is why the relationships are always gonna in the
same way until you get that lesson. And I'm talking
to you, but I'm talking to myself as well.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
We on fired to We're on absolute fuck. The voice
of reason is crazy tonight. We got callers everywhere needs
you know, I got a balance. But guess what you
just I got you.

Speaker 13 (49:33):
Guess I brought you in the building.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
Houston, Texas is in the building. We just lost Nikki
from the sip. Nikki, get back in here. I need
you listen. When we come forward. We going to NYC
and we go on to Charlotte, North Carolina.

Speaker 9 (49:47):
Let's get it, what's the biggest red flag in relationships?

Speaker 14 (49:50):
If they are constantly overestimating their capacity and saying they
will do certain things but end up not showing up,
this is a sign that they struggle to face their
own truth.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
What does that mean to you?

Speaker 14 (50:03):
You have to really have a good relationship with honesty,
just be able to say what you can do and
what I can't do. I think that's one of the
key things about relationships is both people understanding that I
am the creator of my own happiness. I can't make
my wife happy. I can do my best to add
joy to her life. I can do my best to
support her happiness. But ultimately, happiness is a mindset that

(50:26):
you need to cultivate within yourself. And once you do
cultivate that, you have a much clearer sense of like
what are my boundaries?

Speaker 3 (50:33):
You know? How diego Perez. That's who's speaking, and that
is wisdom. So I see how the clips are running.
We started with wisdom and now we're transitioning into wisdom.
And I love this. I love this. Andy says something
to me during the break that was quite meaningful. I

(50:53):
had a chance to pontificate on it. Andy was like,
all the stuff that you went through when you were younger,
if you changed any of it, you wouldn't be who
you are now, Like you wouldn't be the voice of reasoning.
You kind of had to go through all of that stuff.
And I totally agree with that sentiment. Yeah, even though

(51:19):
I said I would, I mean, I was telling Andy, like, yeah,
I would change certain things because there were certain things
that I didn't. I didn't I felt like I didn't
have to go through. But Andy, you know, gave me
some wisdom while I was kicking that hissdom and he's
one hundred percent of right. I gotta give Andy his

(51:40):
his flowers on that. Let's get these callers in here. Charlotte,
North Carolina. Gina is on the line, Gina, what are
your thoughts on tonight's topic? Hello, Gina, Gina? Gina, Well,
hold on, hold on, Gina, Are.

Speaker 7 (51:57):
You there with you?

Speaker 3 (51:58):
Okay, I'm with you, all right, Gina. So listen, you
can't be on your you can't be on speaker phone
or bluetooth.

Speaker 7 (52:04):
You just got to be on your phone and.

Speaker 3 (52:08):
There's no profanity. We're on talk radio in Los Angeles. California.
Tell me your thoughts on tonight's topic.

Speaker 7 (52:17):
So two things you just made us comment in reference
to if you had western are But there are so
many people who learn through observation. You don't have to
participate in certain things some knowledge from it. So when
you were saying, you know you were dating or batmaning

(52:40):
or whatever seven different people at one time, it didn't
take all seven for you to have the chance. You
haven't right, And how did those relationships in chances are
they slowly tinkled off and you may have changed the roster,
like you may have filter it in new when the

(53:00):
other one started, you know, falling back a little bit.
So you tend to As females, we tend to recognize
bs and we decide what we're gonna put up with,
what we're not gonna put up with. And one thing
I can say through my experience, I've went into relationships
knowing it's not just me and this person, but the

(53:21):
moment he starts lying to me about certain things where
he doesn't have to, like, I'm no longer interested. So
when we talk about sexual desire, being turned on and
having the turned off part is what we need to
talk about. Turned off from someone that you were so

(53:43):
wanting to be with. And that's something done on the
end of.

Speaker 11 (53:48):
The other person.

Speaker 7 (53:49):
Yes, and we won't say anything like I sat back
and watched a guy go and put a note on
someone else's car while I'm in another car waiting, and
I'm like, and does he really look at me and
think I'm just naive? Or does he just not care?
Like he thinks he's back? So I started writing. Look,

(54:13):
I started writing down things and behaviors that I was
not okay with while my feelings were still attacked in
order to get my feelings unattacked.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
Wow.

Speaker 7 (54:28):
And we could be on the phone talking. Listen, we
would be on the phone talking and I'm reading my
notes so I can remind myself who I'm talking to.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
Wow.

Speaker 7 (54:39):
And when I was done, I was done and had
no clue.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
That's good. I like that. I love it.

Speaker 7 (54:52):
I feel like we are responsible for ourselves. We're responsible
for that broken heart. We're responsible. We're not responsible for
the other person outside of what we choose to deliberately see,
to deceive them, to deliberately hurt them, just to get
from them. But we're not responsible for their behavior. We're

(55:13):
not responsible for their happy. If I got to make
you happy, then I'll be blamed when you're not happy.
I am not taking that on to myself. So I
need you happy, and I'm gonna be happy, and we
can come together and we can be in that joy.
And then if you're in a bad mood, go over
there and sit in the corner. You don't even have
to leave the house. Just go somewhere else with that.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
Go somewhere else with that, go to the other side. Gina.
Let me say this. I appreciate your soul, your spirit,
your wisdom. We enjoyed you thoroughly. Guess what you just did?

Speaker 7 (55:51):
I gotta see it.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
Wait, you don't know, Okay, I'll tell you what the
rule is. When I say, guess what you just did?
You say, I brought Charlotte north Care in the building. Hey, Gena, guess.

Speaker 11 (56:02):
What you just did?

Speaker 7 (56:05):
I bought silent North Carolina in the building.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
A Charlotte is in the building. We appreciate Gina, Gina, Gina, Gina.
I felt like I was on an episode of Martin.
When we come forward, we going to the Big Apple. Already,
no New York, Finna turn up, I said, Finna New
York is about to be lit tonight when we come forward,

(56:29):
we go on to NYC.

Speaker 15 (56:31):
Every misinterpretation is a confession. When people twist your words,
that is their reflection, not yours. If I say something
neutral and you hear shade, that's not me being shady,
that's you being in defense mode. The question is why
if I try to address an issue with you and
you take it as an attack, that is not me

(56:52):
attacking you. That is you wrestling with the truth again.

Speaker 3 (56:57):
Why.

Speaker 15 (56:57):
That's the part that really bothers me. The lack of curiosity.
Folks don't ask questions, they don't see clarity. Instead, they
jump straight to negative intent. Don't project bad character on me.
I've never shown up that way. I'm not going to
all of a sudden be that person. Folks make assumptions,
and those assumptions come from their fears and insecurities, their

(57:18):
intentions and motives. The misinterpretation is just a spotlight they're projecting.
Thinking you're telling me about me, but really you're telling
on yourself. That's why I don't get defensive anymore.

Speaker 14 (57:29):
I just listen.

Speaker 15 (57:30):
How you hear me shows me exactly who you are,
and that's all I need to know.

Speaker 3 (57:36):
Monique Coleman. The wisdom is flowing. Oh, this is a beautiful,
beautiful little play my niece got going right now, this good,
this good. Eric knew to steer clear. He knew the
steer clear of tonight's conversation because this is one of

(57:59):
those call out talks right, unhealed, controlling, authoritarian, healed, open, present,
allowing energy. Oh, we got another caller on the line.

(58:23):
I want to get him in here right now. Uh,
what's miss miss edie from in y C, New York,
New York? What up?

Speaker 9 (58:36):
Hey?

Speaker 3 (58:36):
Hey, what are your thoughts on tonight's topic? City's so
nice they had to name it twice.

Speaker 9 (58:45):
I want to say, I followed you on Corey Holcom,
so I follow you here because I think you are
very intelligent, and I like the different guests that you
have one.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
Thank you, thank you, thank you, than you're welcome. I
appreciate that.

Speaker 9 (59:01):
So you're welcome.

Speaker 3 (59:03):
Did you have something to say about tonight's topic?

Speaker 9 (59:07):
Of course, of course. So I am tight in earlier
that I was in a relationship with a person that
loved me and I and I screwed it up because
I lived in a house that was challenged with love.

Speaker 3 (59:25):
Wait, hold on, and wait, wait, you're the one in
the chat that said you ran them away. Okay, let
me let me just say, let me just say this
real quick. There's no profanity on the air. I just
wanted to because I could feel it. I felt it
in your spirit, like I want, I want to cuss.
But no, you're good, go ahead, no, no, no, all right.

Speaker 9 (59:47):
So no, So I'm writing a book and I just
got out of a zoom with my mentor, and so
I told them, we all have to tell our secrets
so we can unburden the trauma that we can.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Okay, okay.

Speaker 9 (01:00:02):
And so when I say I lived in a house
that was challenged with love, I had a mother who
whose mother, my grandmother, would would beat them. And it
all comes from slavery. Right, So we're all supposed to
learn and grow, But if you're carrying trauma, how can
you do that? So I watched the mother, and my

(01:00:25):
mom is still alive. I watched a mother belittle her husband, right,
And so even though you don't want to do those things,
you pick up the traits of the person who's supposed
to show you how you're supposed to live. And so

(01:00:47):
I really used to disrespect my partner, and one day
he told me, he was like, I don't have to
put up with this, and he left.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
And when you disrespect verbally.

Speaker 9 (01:01:02):
Yeah, like always having an attitude or always trying to
prove myself, Like one time he said, let me be
the man.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
And your response to that was, I don't.

Speaker 9 (01:01:17):
Know, it's probably something negative because this is what I
have seen all of my life. Yeah, exactly. So I'm
in therapy and I pray and I ask God to
guard my tongue and my responses. So I understand that

(01:01:41):
men and women carry trauma and we're all perfectly imperfect.
But I can't sit here and just blame men all
night long, like it's fifty to fifty. Yeah, And so
if we're willing to heal and we have to seek help.

Speaker 3 (01:02:01):
It sounds like you're on the journey. It sounds like
you're on the path. I'm just I'm so overwhelmed that
you called, because it takes courage to get on the
air and kind of just say, you know, I was
at fault. I did this. I ran the love of
my life away, and I recognized that it comes from

(01:02:21):
my childhood. That is a humongous step in the right direction.
Please please share more if you have more to share.

Speaker 5 (01:02:30):
Yeh.

Speaker 9 (01:02:31):
So I'm doing it because someone said on social media
the other day to share your secrets, and so in
my book club tonight, one of the authors said that
she's afraid to tell her stories, and I said, you
have to because souls are attached to us and all

(01:02:54):
of our experiences were divinely designed. You know. I heard
you say if you could go back, I don't want
to go back. I'm fifty seven, and the wisdom and
the knowledge and the experience, if I went back to

(01:03:14):
twenty five, I couldn't take it with me.

Speaker 3 (01:03:16):
Right.

Speaker 9 (01:03:17):
So I thank God that I'm alive and I'm writing
my book and I'm going to share my secrets and
hopefully save souls.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
And hopefully save souls. I hear you. I am so
pleased and happy with this call. This was amazing. Listen,
you can call in any time you want. We do
this every day Monday through Thursday, seven to nine pm.
I know it's late over there in NYC, but we
appreciate this call to the highest level. Now I'm gonna

(01:03:53):
ask you a question, and you're gonna tell me what.

Speaker 9 (01:03:58):
New York City has in the house.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
Yeah, we go. Hey, miss Edie, guess what you just did.

Speaker 9 (01:04:06):
I brought New York City into all New York.

Speaker 3 (01:04:09):
New York is up in the building. We appreciate the call.
You already know how it is when we come forwards.
Ooe Williams getting ready to land this Blaine, let's get it.

Speaker 16 (01:04:20):
It's gonna be the one.

Speaker 9 (01:04:21):
No.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
Oh, he's the perfect man.

Speaker 16 (01:04:23):
No, he really likes me. This is gonna be my
prince Charming. No, this is how you need to go
in todays. I am the main character. They must like
me ten times more, and my standards are gonna stay high.
If they can't reach them, it's not a match. That's
how you avoid narcissists by loving yourself and having the
highest of standards and going into everything with a goal
instead of rose colored glasses. Okay, now, it's nice to

(01:04:43):
have rose colored glasses about other things, but not relationships
where you don't know the person and you don't know
their intentions, other things that you are more in control of.
But for random strangers that you're just meeting, or for
a man you're getting into a relationship with who has
their own personal intentions, you can't go in there like that.
It's like chest not checkers, and you must go in
with the advantage because you're playing in an unfair world. Well,

(01:05:05):
you gotta like me times ten, and you gotta be
spending money, and you gotta be able to write. That's
our advantage. Our beauty is our currency.

Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
Uh huh uh uh. Our beauty is our current. Listen,
we started with hissdom. We can't end with hissdom.

Speaker 11 (01:05:22):
Well, it's.

Speaker 3 (01:05:26):
Our beauty is our currency. What Oh my god, my
spirit was just getting good. I was vibing with the
music and then the hissdom comes in. Oh my god,

(01:05:51):
let's land the plane. Wisdom versus hisdom. Doesn't the Bible
have a scripture about not leaning on your own understanding?
That's hissdom. That lady that was just talking, whoever that was,

(01:06:11):
was speaking, hissdom. Our beauty is our currency. So that
means you have a fiat currency that will return to
zero once you age. All fiat currencies that have ever
existed throughout the world have all returned to zero value.

(01:06:37):
So you put an expiration date on your value based
on your age. By saying our beauty is our it's hissdom.
It's not wisdom. The mirrored dance, control and presence in

(01:06:59):
a really relationship, when two individuated beings right or two
beings that are on the path of individuation begin to interact,
each become both mirror and metronome to each other's nervous system.
Control can be a good thing in a relationship. Control

(01:07:22):
less structure, right boundaries, timing, right, nonviolent, non judgmental communication
right Deckhart he called it the geometry of clarity, presence
as flow, empathy, spontaneity, surrender, Christiannamerti's topology of of course,

(01:07:52):
choiceless awareness. Are you listening? When we heal a relationships
become healthier. But what you experience as a healthier relationship
is one that is less confined, one that is freer

(01:08:13):
in essence, in flow, in feeling, in connection. The healed
relational field functions as a bilateral feedback loop. It transitions
from egoic, fear based right, trauma based control right into

(01:08:36):
precision right. The precision turns into these structures that we
talked about right, What structures the structures of right, not control,
but precision, boundaries, timing, non judgmental, nonviolent communication. These are
structures now that allow us to flow in and out

(01:09:00):
of this healthy relationship right, the healed relational field functions
as a bilateral feedback loop. Precision protects vulnerability, Vulnerability refines precision.
The logic of love becomes recursive precision equal safety. Safety

(01:09:23):
equals presence, Presence equals trust. Then there's deeper control through
shared intention higher presence. Thus the dialectic stabilizes into a
harmonic or harmonic feedback loop, the interpersonal expression of Schrodinger's

(01:09:45):
negative entropy. Right love persists not by freezing chaos, but
by circulating order through openness. Be open if you're hoping
when you're broken. You're always in a state of hoping

(01:10:08):
that somebody will come in and open you up. You
can't be open while you're holding on to an identity
co authored by a wound. That's what makes you a controller,
male or female. Do you understand? Do you understand a user,

(01:10:36):
a gaslighter, a manipulator. You couldn't give up the wound
if you tried, because you think the wound and you
are the same being, and they're not. Do you understand?
The logical bridge from fear to foresight control is the

(01:10:59):
psyche's attack empt to compensate for uncertainty. Your mominem taught
you uncertainty, and so now certainty is a demand. You
gotta be consistent. I'm a human being, you're asking for

(01:11:20):
me to be exactly do you under Presence transforms uncertainty
into curiosity. When fear transfigures into foresight, control evolves into design.
What are we building with this love? And I'm not
talking about a home, I'm not just talking about a family.

(01:11:42):
I'm talking about internally. What old scaffolding are we ripping down?
And what fear designs are we building collectively within our spirit?
Do you understan The healed mind doesn't command outcomes, it

(01:12:05):
coordinates possibilities. Shannon's information theory validates this communication maximizes meaning
not through noise elimination, but through optimum constraint. Likewise, intimacy
requires enough structure to sustain flow without suffocating it. You

(01:12:33):
want the best relationship of your life, but you have
the worst one with yourself because you've identified with wounds,
and then you try to hide the wounds while relying
on the wound's leadership in your life. You don't want
to be seen as wounded, But the wound is the

(01:12:55):
leader of your life, and that's why you're controlling. Listen,
I started the conversation. It's really up to you to
finish it. I'm the voice of reason. I do this
all the time. We'll be back here tomorrow with another slapper.
We love all the callers. It was all sisters and

(01:13:16):
only one brother. We appreciate the calls. I'll see you
all tomorrow with another slapper that says