You Are Stagnant Because You Refuse to Stop Spiritually Communing With Your Past!!!

Unforgiveness is not a moral failure; it is a nervous-system strategy that stabilizes a threatened identity. The psyche keeps pain because the body believes pain keeps you safe. Relationships stagnate not from lack of love, but from loyalty to the physiological predictability that grievance provides.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
And I often said, God, why did you tell us
to honor our mother and father?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Why was that a command? Why? Why? Why? You know,
why wasn't that optional?

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Because that's the hardest thing that it really is to do,
and it's and God taught us to honor our mother
and father because he knew once we got older, we
was gonna see things that might have been unhonorable. We
gonna find out Mama wasn't sweet as she was and
that it wasn't So he commands us to do it
because he know it's gonna be a struggle in doing it.
If it wasn't no struggle, he would not have to

(00:31):
command you. He don't command you to eat, there's no
struggle to eat. But he commands you to do something
you know is gonna be a struggle. And so the
reason why he does that is because once we start
to grow and we mature, we begin to see people
are not perfect and it is those it is those
imperfections that scare us because we're already hurt, distrustful.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
And so this is the.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
State of people that have entered into the church and
the leadership has failed. I'm not denying it. Just look
at the scandals look at the new, look at what's
going on. The leadership has failed. Not every leadership, because
everybody's didn't fail, but the ones that they've made mega
and one of that people run to and flock to,

(01:17):
and some of them have and not all of them
have ever failed, but some of them have. And because
of that, there's a great disappointment. And disappointment is where
really hurt comes from. You know, disappointment is where hurt
comes from because your expectation was so high that when
that person didn't live up to that expectation, it almost

(01:39):
feels like a betrayal. Come on, listen to me, like
a betrayal, and that feeling of betrayal is what.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Opens a person up for that resentment.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
That resentment leads you to bitterness, and bitterness makes you
break off, say break off, break off.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
From the church.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
It makes you break off from what they now consider
organized religion. Come on, talk to me, because they're saying
nobody's right anymore. But what people don't know when they
break off, there's nowhere to go. If you break off
from the church. God is still dealing with his church.
God's not coming back for stragglings. He's gonna still come back.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
For his church.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Man, you gotta understanding that the church is horrish, the
church is dirty, is nasty, but he's not leaving her,
divorcing her because it's that way. He's just gonna clean
her up. He's gonna wash it with the water of
the world. He's gonna keep working on us until see
gets spotless. But when you are wounded and hurting and

(02:41):
you're leaving from church or running from church, uh huh,
you get you pick up a mentality that God is
somehow not. You know, people start talking about stuff like
the remnant, the remnant, you know, the remnant, like there's
somebody somewhere outside of the body of Christ that God's
gonna raise up.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
So if God were to do that, he'd have to
divorce his own ride. Uh huh, because he's.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Still coming back for this. You gotta understand that the
Bible never said the pride was clean. It really always
describes as a spot spotted dusty.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Hey, listen, you might not agree with pass the darby.
Oh he said the church is horsh He said her
gown ain't clean, and God is working with her. That's
what he Oh, that was praise break worthy in my Goodness,
let's get that praise break. See even at the beginning

(03:52):
of the Voice of Reason, we got to get in
here and cook. Let me so tonight's topic. And then
you know, I'm a fold in because Jill was trying
to get me to speak on something. Lord have mercy.
I don't want to speak on it, but I feel

(04:14):
compelled to speak on it. Now listen, listen. But tonight's
topic the stagnant magnet. Oh, oh, you are stagnant because
you refuse to stop spiritually communing with your past. See

(04:35):
that's what I feel like Sister Sherry Shepherd was doing
through her advice. She's still communing through her past. Maybe
you made the wrong mistakes and at fifty eight going
on sixty, you want to give your advice from a wound,

(04:55):
maybe a wounded position. I don't know, the sister person,
Maybe from a wounded position. See. See, you can't be
Christian and then still be wounded. See. The way of
Christ is a way of healing one's wounds. That's what

(05:17):
Christ is about, isn't it. Redemption, forgiveness, healing all that. Right,
you're gonna give embittered advice, That's how I feel. Maybe
I'm wrong. Maybe it's not. Maybe she's coming from a
healthy space. Some might argue that, but it didn't seem
that way to me. You under did it, just didn't Now.

(05:42):
In my book twenty fifteen, The Relationship dismount How to
Stick the Landing when Exiting a Toxic Relationship, Available on
Amazon dot com, paperback, audible, iPhone books, eyebooks, you can
get it everywhere. Everybody loves the book. People gang though.

(06:03):
In the book, there's a section called Embittered, Embattled and embedded.
How do we get to embedded? How do we get
better from being embittered and embattled? See, many people are
carrying something and because they've they're carrying it, they try

(06:29):
to weaponize language to make it into wisdom that ain't
wisdom that's wounded. See, there's there's a difference, you see.
That's why it fits so perfectly into the stagnant magnet.
Until you take responsibility for the co creation of negative

(06:53):
relational experiences because you haven't healed your wounds completely, maybe
that isn't the bar, not even completely. Can we get
a third of your wounds cleaned up? And it's your right,
as Jill said, everybody got it right to not want

(07:15):
to deal with no mess. But the mess come to
your life because the mess is in your spirit. Otherwise
it ain't no way the mess could come in. You
ain't had a good time, Sharry, it ain't been a
good time with brothers. The stagnant magnet Ooh, you're stagnant

(07:42):
because you refuse to stop spiritually communing with your past.
A fascinating exploration into the passive voice of forgiveness. I'm
not gonna be of unforgiveness. Excuse me, the passive voice
of unforgiveness. I'm gonna make my unforgiving words sound like wisdom.

(08:06):
Unforgiveness is not a moral failure. It is a nervous
system strategy that stabilizes a threatened identity. The psyche keeps
pain because the body believes pain keeps you safe. Relationships
stagnate not from lack of love, but from loyalty to

(08:30):
the physiological predictability that grievances provide. Oh, you still holding
on to it, and you articulate enough to make it
sound like wisdom. Use a stagnant magnet, and you gonna
keep drawing in the foolishness because you think you're the

(08:51):
victim instead of the co creator of the reality you
didn't want. Oh. Oh, forgiveness therefore is not virtue signaling.
It's neurobiological deconditioning plus relational recontracting. Oh, here's your definition.

(09:18):
The stagnant magnet equals the closed loop of attention arousal
identity attention. Come on, are you all ready for this word?
I don't know. It's a closed loop attention, arousal identity.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
Woo.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Somebody gave me attention. I get aroused, and because they
gave me attention, I begin to form my identity around
this pseudo performative thesbian attention that I was given. There
was an actor who gave it to you. And the
only reason why the actor gave it to you you
accepted it because you on stage two acting a fool.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Oh my godness.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
You're gonna get this work this evening. The stagnant magnet
the closed loop of attention arousal identity attention, in which
unresolved injuries attract reenactments. Tho's in here tonight because I'm
tired of black folk coming after black folk. Oh, we

(10:25):
are biggest adversary. We black folk is black folks biggest satan,
they said, big momy.

Speaker 5 (10:34):
You say, old seven Satan is the adversary. Baby, the baby,
the adversary gonna always challenge you. Now it be us,
We be our own devil, gonna get on the national platform.
I don't deal with this because this happened, and you
frame yourself as the victim.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Hm. And this isn't this is this is a lot
of folks. This ain't just this, ain't just me talking, Sherry,
This is everybody. Men. And when men get on here.
You know how many people confuse my work with Kevin Samuels.
People confuse us. We're totally different, totally different in a

(11:17):
totally different world. You ain't never heard me say, girl,
you are seven you is wait, hold on you six
and a half. Now, there's six and a half. That's
gonna get you the chatter biscuits, You get Chetta biscuits
and sides on the six and a half. You ain't

(11:40):
never heard me do that. I don't do that. Right,
I come in here. I give you the philosophical, the psychological,
the spiritual, right, the metaphysical, the clinical, the empirical. I
give you a combination of all of these streams of
consciousness happening at the same time. I don't just give

(12:02):
you the Macavelian Robert Green forty eight Laws of Power,
because that's how I liken the good brother Kevin Samuels
rest in peace. I call him a good brother because
he's a brother. You might not agree with his work,
but he had an impact, so you got to give
him that. But do you understand what I'm saying. He

(12:25):
will tell you straight up, you too short, you too fat,
you divorced, you're too old, you got too many kids,
you got too many expectations. Go sit down somewhere. He'd
be quick to say that I don't do that. But
at the same time, I don't allow psychological and intellectual

(12:48):
bullying of our people by our people. Oh men, ain't nothing,
you know. Sisters ain't accountable. We had a sister come
on the show last night. She on the line right now,
did nothing but be accountable for all the mess she

(13:09):
co created in her situation. See, you're a stagnant magnet
because you still think your parents are infallible. But what
you failed to realize is it was their brokenness that
created your brokenness, that created your relationship expectations. Ooh huh,

(13:31):
who who talking to? Is all right now? That's why
you're dating a reenactment of them. Your daddy didn't talk,
didn't share his feelings, but you were provided for. Your
daddy didn't open up and reveal his innermost deep secrets
about himself, about who he was, about how he was

(13:52):
deconstructed and reconstructed, and he had to get up off
the ground. Daddy. No, no, no, we don't talk about that.
That ain't none of your business. And then when you
try to share your process, it gets shut down. Many
of us had that kind of experience, right, Huh? Do
you really know who ya mama was in relationship or

(14:13):
do you just know her story?

Speaker 6 (14:14):
See?

Speaker 3 (14:14):
Do you understand the whole story gonna come out in
your adult relationships? Do you understand the passive voice of
unforgiveness equals language that removes agency. I was betrayed instead
of I help betray myself. I'm my own judas because

(14:36):
I ignored the science. I sit women down all the
time and ask them, how often do you ignore your intuition?
Ooh ooh? How often does your ego override your intuition?

Speaker 2 (14:53):
Well?

Speaker 3 (14:54):
I ain't never thought that. Now I know you haven't,
because you're always in perpetual victim. Can we come forward,
Lord have mercy and got me started.

Speaker 7 (15:06):
And we'll never asked or enquired if there is an
end to sorrow. And instead of asking demanding that question,

(15:31):
we have said someone else will suffer for us, as
the Christians do and the Asiatics, including primarily Indians. This
side is part of karma. You know the Sanskrit word

(15:57):
which means the root meme. That word is to act action. Yeah,
what you sow you read, whether in this life or
in the next life, that's their idea. What you sew,

(16:22):
what you are now, you will be next life, perhaps
slightly modified next life. So we have taken comfort.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
Hey, man, if you don't love Christiana murthy, I don't
know what to tell you. We call him Uncle Hardy
around here because he hurts feelings with the truth. Listen,
it is not your partner's responsibility to be a caretaker
of your unwanted pain, whatever you've been through, whatever you

(17:10):
refuse to reconcile within yourself. It is not your partner's
responsibility to show up in the way your pain needs
them to. And when partners fail you in that way,
and then coupled with being a human themselves and hurt
you in another you think, oh, my picker is broken. Naw.

(17:34):
You pick the right person to reveal the right aspect
of yourself. I know people don't want to hear it.
I know people don't like it. But that is the
spiritual aspect of relationships that few people talk about. Now,
Iyana van Zandt understands what I'm saying. Parmahanza Yogananda knows

(17:57):
what I'm talking about. Physicist turned metas metaphysicist Thomas Campbell,
author of My Big Toe, knows what I'm talking about.
Relationships is a holographic h environment, a holographic mirrored environment
where this biofeedback of your self rejection, your self avoidance,

(18:23):
gets reflected back to you so you could take responsibility
for it. Now, all these fancy clinicians whom I love,
doctor Deshawna Johnson, doctor Sunshine, Miss Crawford, missus Crawford, please
excuse me, they'll all tell you. Yeah, we mirror each

(18:45):
other's pain, We mirror each other's wound. You want the ideal,
but God sends you the real. Oh, a reflection of
the real you, the self avoidant you. And now you're
unforgiving and you weaponize it. See the passive voice of
unforgiveness equals language that removes agency. In other words, it's

(19:11):
Semn's victimhood. They did it to me, No, you did
it to you. You don't get to weaponize victimhood. And
when I come forward, I'm going to the phone lines
and we're gonna talk to some real people who understand
what Brother Zoe is laying down.

Speaker 8 (19:32):
Time to take a test.

Speaker 9 (19:33):
I want to give you a test to see if
you're still operating an unforgiveness. You're ready, listen to these
five signs that you're operating in onforgiveness and see how
many of them you test positive for Number one, you
keep dating people that remind you of your ex. You
keep dating the same demon in a different person, wanting
me have tricks and qualities that are different than your ex.
There are still some subtle things and sometimes some loud

(19:53):
things that remind you of your ex. To be told
that means that you are in a relationship with an
unclean spirit. This particular unclean spirit is as a familiar spirit.
You're familiar with it, you're comfortable with it, and it
is familiar with you. So any time it comes to
you and a person you easily accept it. Unforgiveness will
keep you locked in a relationship with that particular spirit.
Number two, you keep talking at your ex, not necessarily

(20:15):
about the ex, but at the ex. One of the
ways you could tell that somebody is talking at a
person is whenever they're talking to you about the person,
whenever they're describing their conversations with the person, they will
use the word you. For example, let's say that you
have a friend named Tamika and she's talking about her ex, Rodney.
She says to you that Rodney reached out to her
and he wanted to get back with her, but she
declined his offer and hung up in his face. And

(20:35):
then she proceeds to say something that sounds like nah,
because when I wanted to be with you, you didn't want
to be with me. You were out here cheating with
everything that had a hole in it. Now you got
the audacity to call on my phone talking about you
want to get back together after your little roach angel
broke up with you. This is not something that she
said to Rodney. This is her still expressing the rage
that she has for Rodney. And whenever there's still unforgiveness,
there's going to be bitterness. Wherever there's going to be bitterness,

(20:57):
there's going to be a flow. She's still talking to
that season.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Of her life.

Speaker 9 (21:00):
So a lot of times when she's talking about Rodney,
because she's too afraid to talk to Rodney, she will
talk at Rodney to the people that are listening to her,
and she will use the word you hope. That makes
sense simply, whenever you forgive a person, the conversation ends
because there's a period at the end of that sentence.
But whenever you don't forgive a person, you're still talking
at the person because there's a conversation still being had
in your heart. Number three vengeance based ambition. This is

(21:23):
whenever you decide that you want to go out there
and be successful so that you can prove yourself to
the people that have rejected or hurt you. You don't
want to be successful for you. Anytime you have thoughts
of success, it always involves you passing by that ex
of yours or passing by that former friend of yours
and them looking at you and regretting the day that
they did whatever they did. Or we can add this
one to the same pointer. Vengeance based sorrow. That is

(21:44):
when you fantasize about coming across the people that hurt you,
and you want to be in your most broken state,
hoping that they will feel sorry for you and hoping
that they're.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
Really like, hey, listen, Tiffany Buckner is cooking with the
rarest all of the truffle, butter oil, saffron oil, avocado oil. Whoa,
it's a lot of folk out there that are a

(22:14):
stagnant magnet. Relationship is a mirror, she said. You're dating
a familiar, that's a mirror. Clinically speaking, we got what
is it a reenactment, a reenactment of what the first
wounds you got in childhood when mama forgot to be
emotionally attentive, when daddy was neglectful, whatever happened, whatever combination,

(22:39):
oh whatever, Oh well, I had two parents. That is
not a protection against right misattunement where we missed opportunities
to be attuned. Okay, oh yes, insecurity comes from that,
and if it's sustained, if it's prolonged, if you sprinkle
in a little trauma abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, it

(23:05):
gets even worse. Yeah. Then you go into the relationships,
you see how everything was weaponized, even the ambition was weaponized.
Tiffany Buckner was cooking. I love it, I love it,
I love it. Listen, we got callers on the line.
It's time to get them in here. You already know
what it is, the voice of reason conducting a national discussion.

(23:27):
Here are you a stagnant magnet? You keep getting the
same lesson because you put yourself in the seat of victimhood.
You have done no wrong, your thoughts are pure. You
always get the short end of the stick. Oh my god,

(23:52):
when are the lessons gonna end? When you take personal
responsibility for how you move in relationships? You sell flyar Oh?
Was that too harsh? Andy was I? I'm sorry? Ladies,

(24:12):
we got callers on the line. Let's get him in
here now. Cali Soul, Denver, Colorado. What are your thoughts
on tonight's topic? In the name of sweet baby raised
barbecue sauce, catch it.

Speaker 8 (24:31):
Catch it, catch it, catch it, catch it?

Speaker 10 (24:34):
Looks here, good evening, brothers old, good evening, sister, Jill.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
Jill ain't in here this Jill's home girl? What's your name? Sweetheart? Oh?

Speaker 10 (24:44):
Okay, good good evening, good evening.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
No, no, not now, I got to tell him your name,
Hold on, Cali, what's your name? Okay, Yolanda is up
in here, and Yolanda she trying to shoot at me too,
like during the breaks, like no, go ahead, go ahead,
I'm sorry you have.

Speaker 10 (25:06):
Ooh yeah, good topic you you you and NISI y'all
and divid again. You chose to use the word co creator,
praise co creator earlier and co creator.

Speaker 8 (25:22):
That's that's, that's all responsibility right there.

Speaker 10 (25:28):
A lot of people ain't used to that, especially when
you look at the community.

Speaker 11 (25:32):
Right, like.

Speaker 8 (25:34):
You've been taught the devil made you do it?

Speaker 10 (25:36):
You better, I rebuked that that's something and when you
look at it that way, that's outside of you, that's
out of your control. When we think of the word forgiveness,
who has the power to forgive you?

Speaker 12 (25:53):
Thank you?

Speaker 13 (25:56):
Right?

Speaker 8 (25:57):
But what have we been taught?

Speaker 10 (26:00):
I got to pray to God and ask God for forgiveness.

Speaker 8 (26:02):
No, God has given you the power to see correctly
to take accountability.

Speaker 10 (26:11):
But you know we've got our.

Speaker 14 (26:12):
We've we've we've we've been given these spells in regards
to our words and what they actually need.

Speaker 8 (26:20):
We think forgiveness is something that somebody else can bestow
upon us, that God bestows upon us, and it's like, no, you,
so which which Who's the first person you've got to forgive?
Anytime there's a call from love.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
Thom keep going.

Speaker 14 (26:36):
Say it sales, no sail yourself myself.

Speaker 10 (26:42):
But how many people know and really really get that
only I can forgive.

Speaker 8 (26:50):
Me, and only I can see me correctly?

Speaker 6 (26:58):
This I shouldn't say that.

Speaker 10 (27:01):
Each other correctly.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
So let me let me just say it. Then let
me ask, Okay, have you truly forgiven yourself? Have you
offered your self absolution for self neglect, self avoidance, self denial,
perpetuating a system that maintains your low self esteem or

(27:23):
self worth? Have you given your self absolution?

Speaker 10 (27:29):
I'm still looking at it. I'm still looking at her.
I got her on my operation tape. I'm working on that. Yeah,
in the operation room.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
The way you came in here yesterday, you are well
on your way to self absolution because you were accountable
and you listen, what you did yesterday was so groundbreaking
because you you basically itemized everything you did, everything you

(28:06):
were responsible for. That led to the rupture of the relationship.
I told you, men are running around here who are
are hurt internally that's why they are looking for women.
They women gonna be accountable, women go to show up.
That's because Mama wasn't accountable. And you gonna always love mama.

Speaker 10 (28:31):
Oh yeah, you better not talk about nobody mama.

Speaker 3 (28:33):
But I'm gonna make my woman be what my mama
never was.

Speaker 12 (28:40):
Oh yeah, it ain't gonna work.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
But the point that I'm making is you came in
here yesterday and you were accountable from the moment you
opened your mouth about the rupture and the failure of
your relationship. Now that doesn't mean on the other end,
there's another story where the brother can say, and this

(29:04):
is how I co authored the rupture of this relationship.
But yesterday you did something that was so anomalous to
many men because they don't know what to look for.
How you did it was you didn't even mention what
he did. Do you understand what?

Speaker 8 (29:24):
But but I can't fix what he I can't move him.
I can move Lee.

Speaker 3 (29:28):
But that's what I'm saying. That's the that was the
power in what you said. You said, I lied, I cheated,
I manipulate. You put it, you laid it out flat,
and you didn't say I did all of these things
because he made me.

Speaker 8 (29:50):
I mean, you can do that, but if you do that,
you're play with yourself. And again, that's that accountability. That's
that accountability, and a lot of us. You should have
been a fly on the wall in the conversation with
him when I had to come clean and tell him, no, no, no, no, no,
stay right there, don't go nowhere.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
When we come forward, we gonna get the rest of
the Cali solas in here on fire. Where's Eric.

Speaker 13 (30:17):
Your inability to separate your identity from criticism is why
you feel attacked. You've built yourself off of the very
things being critiqued. And we swear we're defending ourselves, but
it's the imagined self that we're clinging to, one that
might not even exist outside of our mind. And when
the foundation of who you are is made from fragile material,
every piece of feedback feels like a hammer to your structure.
Major identity inseparable from your best traits and your worst ones,

(30:39):
which means you can't hear feedback without feeling destroyed. And
what I had to do to overcome this is recognized.
Accountability addresses behavior, but the emotions belong to the person
experiencing them. Those are two entirely different exchanges happening at
the same time, two negotiations you just happen to be
in both. It's the thing, the moment you stop defending yourself,
you start understanding yourself, because the difference between feedback and

(31:01):
criticism is how you hear it. But if your identity
is too tangled up in the message, you'll never know
how not to take it as a personal attack.

Speaker 3 (31:08):
Man, if you not listening, this is how you become
a stagnant magnet. He's explaining not being able to listen,
not being able to take constructive criticism, or reframing constructive
criticism as a negative critique or an attack. Right, Sometimes

(31:31):
the truth feels like an attack for somebody who's been hiding,
who's been abfuscating their real self. Man, listen, that was
Javon Cross in that clip. Forgiveness is a body protocol
before it is a belief. Here's your counter intuition on that.

(31:57):
You do not forgive because you decided to. You forgive
after your autonomic nervous system learns it will survive without
the grievance. Oh lord, I know y'all ain't ready for that.
Somatic memory outlives narrative memory. Listen to that. Your body

(32:19):
remembers way longer than the story will live on in
your memory. Do you understand your body will remember? This
is according to babet Rothschild, the body remembers as well
as Vanderklock. The body keeps the score emdr and bilateral
stimulation right. It reconsolidates traumatic memory so it no longer

(32:44):
fires as present tense. You're a stuck, stagnant magnet because
the work hasn't been done. You haven't really unpacked it.
Sometimes talking helps to unpack it, but there's still much
more to be done, and you can't talk about it once.
You can't be vulnerable in conversation once. It has to

(33:06):
become a way of life. And many of you have
made hiding away of life, and you wonder why you're stuck. Oh,
one of the biggest let me tell you something. One
of the most limbo like stuck places to be is
to be with somebody. You gotta get around to loving.

Speaker 6 (33:30):
Woo.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
You know you don't love that person, but that person
fits your wounds so perfectly, that person fits your insecurity
so perfectly that you would give up the love of
your life to be with the lifeguard of your life. Listen,
the voice of reason is in here cutting up somebody

(33:52):
mean it. Let me get back to Cali. So Cali soul,
get in here from Denver, Colorado.

Speaker 10 (33:57):
What you own, Floyd, have mercy.

Speaker 8 (34:01):
I'm just trying to breathe in that process everything you
just said.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
Wow, Yeah, that's what we on the night. Okay, that's
that's what we were talking about, your process, And you
were saying, Man, I wish you could have been a
fly on the wall when I was talking to the brother,
when I was revealing to him. First off, I wish
I could have experienced that as a man myself, to

(34:30):
have a woman sit down and say this is what
I did. Talk to me. How did that process go?

Speaker 10 (34:39):
I hear what you say, and you wish you could
experience it.

Speaker 8 (34:41):
But I think if you experienced it, you you might
you might have some other other thoughts. But once I
had set my piece and apologized verbally, right, because a
true apology is the change of behavior.

Speaker 10 (35:04):
I you know, I witnessed him become very upset and
for three days strength I sat in his verbal attacks.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
Ah, he went that way.

Speaker 10 (35:20):
Called everything but a child of God.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
And I mean Okay, he went there.

Speaker 8 (35:26):
But and that's okay because we tried. You know, first
of all, in order for me to even come clean,
I said you, you have to be willing to let
go of the outcome.

Speaker 10 (35:44):
Got be willing to let go with outcome? Afraid?

Speaker 3 (35:47):
Wait, hold on, hold on, now that's dangerous. You telling
the change. Let me just say go absolutely, you telling
the truth to the man. But hear what I'm saying.
Just hear from this respect. You telling the man, You
revealing to him the truth about something that you have
done to the relationship that caused the rupture. And you're

(36:12):
also telling him how to process it. Now, you can't
have it.

Speaker 8 (36:18):
No, no, no, no, no no, I'm not gonna tell nobody
how to process nothing.

Speaker 3 (36:23):
Okay, wait nowhere, we're gonna come forward, and then we're
gonna have a little bit more time to spread out
on this. Cali sold different Colorado in the building cooking.
Of course, we know Tim Fletcher, Yes, that's I just
didn't remember his name. The voice was right there, Tim

(36:45):
Fletcher out here cooking. But here's the heavy piece. You're
a stagnant magnet, right because you refuse to do something.
But before I get I don't want people to think
that I was going at Sherry Shepherd personally. I'm just

(37:05):
saying this is normal for our society to attack each
other and not take responsibility for what we co create
in our own relational experiences. It might sound like wisdom,
but it's not. There's a spiritual aspect of relationship that
is happening. People who are codependent are predisposed to being

(37:32):
attracted to those who are narcissistic. Do you think they're
consciously aware of it? People are narcissistic find codependent people
very attractive. They are drawn to each other. Oh, the
same dynamic is in It can be found in attachment theory, avoidance,

(37:55):
and anxious the anxious avoidant trap. Everybody's reading the attached book,
but we're not seeing the coded metaphor. That relationship is
a mirror. What happened in the past sets the tone
for what is happening now or what has happened in

(38:15):
your adult relationships. And if what has happened in the
past has not been reconciled, you are dating reenactments, even
at a fractal level, At a fragmented level, do you
understand what I'm saying? Learning and growing and evolving is
an incremental phase. It happens in increments, right, So you

(38:38):
might be better than you were, say five years ago,
but there's still much more work to do. So the
next reflection you call in may be a reenactment, but
in a different way, because you're not the same person
you were five years ago, because you learned a little bit,

(38:59):
but you're still so calling in fragments of this reenactment
so that it can be what reconciled. But in order
to reconcile it, you got to recognize it. And then
once you recognize it, you gotta claim it as yours.
And once you claim it as do you understand what
it was? You're not stuck because the past refuses to

(39:25):
release you. You're stuck because your nervous system and your
language refuses to release the past. You got to drop
the ledger, update the grammar, train the body to trust. Peace.
And I'm not talking about quiet. Quiet is. Don't talk

(39:48):
about that. Don't confront me. I'm not good with confrontation.
That's an avoidant thing. Avoidance. Don't like criticism or tough conversations, right,
But it's that's interesting, how anxious folk want to have
the tough conversations because in having the tough conversations, they
think they will get some kind of validation or understanding

(40:10):
or closure. Do you see this mirrored dynamic again? Drop
the ledger, update the grammar, train the body to trust peace.
Please understand I always make the distinction between quiet and peace. Right,

(40:31):
call your love back from accounting and put it into circulation.
Forgiveness is not charity for the offender. It is oxygen
for the organism. Right when the current moves, the magnet
dies and intimacy begins. Do you see it's important that

(40:57):
we understand that you're stuck because it's your story that's
what got you stuck. Your story has been transformed into
your sense of self. Right, it is the axis of
you now, and it's a damn magnet that calls in

(41:18):
a concominant experience and that's your norm. Oh, Lord, CALLI soul,
get back in here.

Speaker 4 (41:29):
Kelly.

Speaker 3 (41:30):
I need you now, Lord, I need you to come in.

Speaker 8 (41:32):
You're gonna stop this. Now, You're gonna stop this.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
You're gonna stop What did I do?

Speaker 2 (41:39):
Kelly?

Speaker 3 (41:40):
You gotta be all this.

Speaker 8 (41:43):
I am the thinker. When you were saying everything that
you was just saying, I was thinking of that.

Speaker 10 (41:48):
I am the thinker that thinks the thought that creates
the thing.

Speaker 6 (41:55):
Or situation or a situationship.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
So let me ask you, why did you create the
last situation? What was the purpose of you creating the
last situation?

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Ship?

Speaker 10 (42:10):
So I could see myself, But I can't get all
that cleaned up.

Speaker 14 (42:16):
Like, like I've said before, I don't know if you
remember me saying this before, but I am serious about
my assignment. This is a generational assignment.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Yes, yes, yes, this.

Speaker 8 (42:30):
Is something that's been repeating itself and repeating itself and
repeating itself.

Speaker 10 (42:34):
It's a cycle.

Speaker 8 (42:36):
It's a toxic cycle. I am spiritually exhausted right now.
So I can't imagine how spiritually exhausted my ancestors must
have been.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
I hear you, I hear you.

Speaker 6 (42:52):
I'm done.

Speaker 10 (42:53):
This is done.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
So you're telling me that you're going to stay connected
and invest to the process.

Speaker 8 (43:02):
Oh yeah, I'm like you know, And it's gonna be
a process process, which means every time that I have
the urge to lie, I'm going to tell the truth.

Speaker 3 (43:12):
Are you listening to this, lady, Andy? Are you listening
to it?

Speaker 10 (43:19):
Is a choice. I have the power. The devil didn't
make me do it.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
So peel it back. Why why did you choose to lie?
Because I've chosen to lie. We are listening, Listen, I
made that choice before. Yeah, So I'm not here to
villainize you. I am a person who has experienced that
crossroad where I can tell the truth or I can

(43:44):
lie about it. Now for a man, men, they say, well,
if you lie, you lack integrity. Does that apply to
women as well?

Speaker 8 (43:55):
Absolutely?

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Talk to me. So was it safer to you?

Speaker 6 (44:00):
Again, No, it's still It's still created pain for someone.
It created pain for me, And yeah, it created pain
for me. As I was saying, I sat for.

Speaker 10 (44:20):
Three days and I and I reminded myself, don't react
to this, because oh, the ego kicked up. I wanted
to say all kinds of nasty things, like let's let's push.

Speaker 8 (44:33):
The dagger in.

Speaker 10 (44:35):
But the same way I said, I had set my
intuition down in the corner, and I took my paintings
off and I stuffed him in her mouth so she
would just shut up and I could come back to
be up to the foolishness I was up to. I
sat my eagle down and said, no, it's not time
to attack right now. Let him get it all out,

(45:00):
because it's not gonna hurt me. These words can't hurt me,
but he does deserve the healing space that we all see.

Speaker 8 (45:09):
Oh, I'm hauling space for you. This is a safe space.
This is a safe space.

Speaker 10 (45:14):
Get it all out.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
And if I'm not mistaken, your attachment style.

Speaker 10 (45:20):
Was avoidant, dismissive, avoiding.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
Dismissive avoiding for you to sit down and initiate the conversation,
whereas avoidance they're named avoidant dismissive avoiding. We're not talking.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
About nothing for you to.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Wow, that's huge.

Speaker 8 (45:43):
We are working.

Speaker 10 (45:45):
We on the operation table.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
I love that. I love that.

Speaker 8 (45:49):
Because if not, you're gonna keep on bumping your head
on that same spot.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
Man, this is the most grown show we have done
all this whole week been fired. Hey, CALLI so you
know I love you, I appreciate you. Guess what you
just did, y'all.

Speaker 8 (46:07):
I bought Denver in the building.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Denver Coloranto is stamped. It is goadd Forever. Hey, if
you were to bring your city in the building, all
you gotta do is call me fifteen eighty. Let's get
Jim from Los Angeles in here, right now, right now,
right now, Jim, you've been listening. What are your thoughts
on tonight's topic.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
I was just listening to her and it was just
totally amazing. Right on the sidebar. Because I've been doing
the work, I'm like, listen, the truth is the truth.
And I get in a lot of trouble because of that,
because I've developed saying the truth. You can't do nothing

(46:52):
to me. What you're gonna do to me nothing. I'm
going to tell you the truth because it fits me.
I used to lie, are obstruct the truth or whatever
that looks like, But when I got to doing the
spiritual work, the truth is the truth. I have done

(47:14):
all she said. I chose to lie. But while I'm alive,
when you can't do shit to me, Jim, Jim, I'm sorry.
You can't do anything to me.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
You back it up.

Speaker 4 (47:25):
Thank you for not believing me. But you can't do
anything to me. There's power in the word of the truth.
It is only you expressing yourself. And I don't want
to be in the sixth grade over and over again.
I need to get to the seventh And how do

(47:46):
I get to the seventh by passing the sixth and
that's really what it is. How do I get it?
What did I not doing this? Like I said in
the text lunch, it is not you with me.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
So Jim, work with me here, Let's work together on this.

Speaker 4 (48:04):
Let's break it down.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
See.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
I need you because you're a woman, and by default
that means you are powerful. And then on top of that,
you're a black woman. That means you're the first. You're
a descendant of the first woman that ever existed. You
are a daughter of Eve up in here. So what

(48:29):
I need from you is to answer a question because
people struggle with this real understanding of what relationship is about.
We live in a society that's toxic, that's transactional, that's material,
that's commercial. But there is a spirit. I know you,
I know you. There is a spirit in Jim that

(48:52):
transcends everything that this world is about. So how do
we get this understanding of what relationships are really for?
If pain feels sacred, what keeps you from releasing your altar?
If pain is sacred, what keeps you from releasing that pain?

Speaker 4 (49:17):
Releasing that pain is helping my partner understand that pain
is not real in that space, Pain is not what
we should be looking at. We are designed to help
each other. And if you're in pain, then how can
I help you? And you need to help me? And
if it can't be that way, then I am not
the water.

Speaker 10 (49:38):
I am the seed.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Wait and stay right there, don't go nowhere, don't go nowhere.
When we come forward, we got to talk to Jim
again because she's cooking right now and I have a
question for her. I'm gonna say it right now. Think
about this, Jim. Do we mistake overthinking and rumination for reverence?
Is that why we remain stuck or remain feeling stuff

(50:00):
when we come forward? Were coming back to Los Angeles, Jem, Why.

Speaker 15 (50:03):
Can't we just forgive and move on? Because forgiveness doesn't
lead to closeness or safety or connection. Now, forgiveness can
lead to peace. That means we forgive them to let
go of the debt that they owe us. That's why
we say people owe you an apology. It's because they
took something from you. There's a debt, there's a wound,
they hurt you, and we can intentionally let go of
that resentment and cancel the debt that they owe us

(50:25):
because we know they can't really pay us back anyways.
But at the same time, forgiveness alone doesn't lead to
trust being rebuilt, does it, And a relationship lives or
dies based on trust. We can forgive and move on.
But if that person is still in your life and
you're asking, why can't I just forgive them and everything
feel okay? That's just not the way it works. Your
body is too smart for that. It knows they aren't

(50:48):
a safe person. It knows they aren't trustworthy. Why would
your body want to give more of itself to someone
who is only taking advantage of you?

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Man, that's Jimmy on relationships. Listen, journal entry for you,
because when somebody hurts us you heard what he said,
it's a debt and it's a wound. And if it's
if it's a psycho spiritual debt, it must be repaid.
I've got a practice journal entry for you. This question

(51:18):
I want you to answer it. Get your journals out,
Get your journals out. This is a journal moment. What
would my love look like if I didn't need a
wound to feel holy? Oh? Yes, because the victimhood feels righteous.

(51:38):
The victimhood feels like, yes, you did this to me,
you owe me the entitlement is rampant. Right listen, it's
a practice journal, and I'm not trying to give you
the answer. What would my love look like if I

(51:59):
didn't need a wound to feel holy? Back to Jim
from Los Angeles, Jim, the question I'm.

Speaker 6 (52:09):
Going to go with?

Speaker 3 (52:09):
What go ahead?

Speaker 4 (52:11):
Before we do the before we do the question I'm
going to do to talk about that forgiveness. People don't
know about the Bible gar name, but I did the
course seventy seven times.

Speaker 13 (52:26):
Seven mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
I was told to write whoever I need their forgiveness from,
and it was just a releasing process because that person
had already passed away. But to release that just that
just shows how we're taught that our mind and our
bodies or so. But once I did that, it was

(52:48):
released seven times. Jesus said, seven times seven.

Speaker 15 (52:54):
Write it down.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
Seven times seven? Why are you not forgiving this part?
Can you do? Seven time seven? And then when you
write it down you just no more. I forgive you,
whether you accept it or not, because forgiveness is my art.
Forgiveness is my role. You don't have to accept it.

(53:19):
I need to release it. And once it's released, where
do you accept it or not. That's what it is
for me. Now double back to what you're asking.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
Let me just say this, Jim, you know I love you.
I got to push forward now, but I love you.
You already cooked it up the way it's supposed to
be cooked. You guess what you just did.

Speaker 8 (53:41):
My sister, jem, I brought La in the building.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
Zoda Los Angeles is up in the building. It is
your brother Zoda from Star Wars. You know we up
in here cooking with that rare lightsaber grease. When I
come forward, I'm going to Houston, Texas. You you already
know what it is. Let's get it.

Speaker 7 (54:03):
Speak about the neurophysiology of forgiveness.

Speaker 16 (54:08):
Sure, think about frozen circuits. Frozen circuits are hardwired circuits.
The more profound the insult to the person that is

(54:29):
connected to a strong emotion, the more the brain freezes circuitry.
The more we think about the experience, the more we
fire and wire the circuits in our brain.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Yes or no.

Speaker 16 (54:45):
Yes, And the more we remember the event, the more
we produce the emotions that are associated with it, And
we're conditioning the brain and body further into the past.
Yes or no, And you keep doing it enough times,
it's no longer conscious holding a grudge.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
It's no longer conscious that you're stuck.

Speaker 16 (55:07):
Now you're seeing everybody through the lens of that experience,
and everybody's a betrayer. Everybody can't be trusted. Everybody is
that same person. You're overlaying the memory of your experience
into reality. You're not seeing it the way it is.
You're seeing that person wearing the mask of the last person.

(55:31):
That's the lens that we're perceiving reality. Are you with
me still? And so, then anything in your life that
becomes remotely close to it based on your limited perception
triggers the emotion and the network, and you're back in
your past and you're acting like you were when it happened.
Are you with me still?

Speaker 3 (55:50):
And so?

Speaker 16 (55:51):
Then the person says I'm not that person, and you say, oh, no,
I know, I just had this event in my past
and I'm sorry, And then it's excusable. But then here
it happens again, and there's nothing wrong with this.

Speaker 3 (56:03):
We all do it.

Speaker 16 (56:04):
It's just how do we overcome it. So then you're
sitting and doing the work, and you're moving energy up
those centers. You're releasing the life force into your brain.
You are blessing those centers and taking a scoop and

(56:25):
moving it all the way up and releasing it all
the way.

Speaker 3 (56:28):
Up into the field. You're opening the channel.

Speaker 16 (56:30):
You're unfolding as nobody, no one, no thing nowhere and
no time, and the identity and the personality is gone.

Speaker 3 (56:36):
Energy is hey? Man? If y'all have never heard of
this guy before, come on, doctor Joe despends a man.
He's socking you upside your dome piece on your way
home from Jones beach Man and it's four in the morning.
You tired, but he's socking you upside the head with
that truth, that good truth, goodness, great listen, I gotta

(57:02):
get her in here Atallah, Phillips, Houston, Texas, Atalla. I'm here,
stagnant magnet your own when you came up with this?
Are you a stagnant magnet? The passive voice of unforgiveness, Lord,

(57:22):
have mercy you avoidant unforgiveness? Is there such a thing?
Talk to me.

Speaker 12 (57:30):
Avoidant unforgiveness, that passive unforgiveness, the passive voice. I wanted
to kind of clarify because I know Ida had asked
me in the chat right like so passive voice and grammar.
You hear businesses use this a lot. They say mistakes
were made, they never tell you by whom that is
designed right so that you was right. So essentially, escapegoat

(57:52):
can be constructed in the process of them trying to,
you know, determine what needs to be done. And we
do the exact same thing in our relationship. Meanwhile, while
your partner is building up escape, go to escape their accountability,
you're sitting there trying to cut deconstruct their language, whether
that's spoken or whether it's shown.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
My goodness, they give you an open ended zen cone,
a riddle, and you're supposed to understand what it is. Lord,
have mercy.

Speaker 12 (58:24):
I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell and imagine.
Like likes go even deeper. Let's say you're not in
a relationship, you're single. You do the same thing to yourself.
You hide things in different compartments of your mind. That's
why we call it compartmentalization, which is basically why you
experience stagnancy with a person. The reason why I think

(58:46):
it's easier to point out is because you have different
perspectives that can show you things and show you the
ways that your actions are leading to in action. But
when it's you within yourself and I'm going through this
right now, like in my life, I feel when you
start uncovering your own places of biases and judgments and

(59:06):
you know, just kind of hiding from maybe the more
negative aspects of yourself, I think that's where the stagnesty
comes in.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
Oh, I love it. Here's your psychological insight. The limbic
system loops to preserve identity through narrative repetition. That's doctor,
you know who it is. It's Rothschild, but bet Wrothchild
your metaphysical insight. Doctor David R. Hawkins notes obsession holds
the vibration of pride disguised as processing. Here's a tool

(59:37):
you can use, use eft tapping. While repeating this mantra,
I release the need to rehearse my history. Now, I
got a question for my niece right now. When memory
becomes your lover, what happens to the presence? Touch?

Speaker 12 (59:58):
Oh my god, touch. You live in the past. You
live in the past. You can't live in more than
one I would say dimension. At the same time as
that makes sense, you cannot be I don't believe you
can be consciously present in multiple dimensions. I think that's why.
For example, when we go to sleep, who knows were
you in You might travel somewhere right, maybe you travel

(01:00:19):
back to the past and you sleep. I don't know,
but I say all that to say I think relationally
living in the past with a current and present partner
is one of the biggest heartbreaks that person can experience
because they are dealing with the consequences of your actions
from your past results. They have no idea where it's
coming from.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
Oh my god, psychological insight here. Avoidant attachments or avoidant
attachers prefer nostalgia over intimacy. According to Heller, Lord have mercy.

Speaker 12 (01:00:56):
Because it's like a comfort I would say it's like
psychological comfort food. If I can indulge myself in a
particular hobby or a TV show or whatever it is
that brings a certain level of familiarity and comfort, which
is really what I was trying to seek from you
and didn't get, then I'm going to basically put my
time into that. That's where the deactivation strategies come.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
Okay, I got another question for you. Does forgiving mean
forgetting or remembering without venom?

Speaker 12 (01:01:27):
I would say the ladder, I would say, I would
say the latter is a mature response. But I think
when you talk about forgetting, you got to think sometimes
we have certain things that have happened to us that
we don't remember. So how do you heal it?

Speaker 3 (01:01:42):
What do you do well? Healing is just if we're
looking at this etymological root of it. Healing is about wholeness.
So do you see how there's no getting rid of anything.
So healing is really about accepting right.

Speaker 12 (01:02:00):
Yes, right, And nothing is wasted. No moment is wasted.
I think, no good or bad moment. It's kind of
like I was telling you. We were talking about even
with the topic yesterday, right we started talking about givers
and takers. There is no to me, really bad dynamic
in the grand schema things. How it may seem in
that moment is a different story. But if you were
able to look at your things from like a bird's

(01:02:22):
eye view, for example, you would see how things kind
of come together to get you to certain points.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
I mean, stay right there, don't go nowhere. Avoiding Attachers
preferred nostalgia over intimacy. We gave you that note, but Heller,
that's from Heller but here's the spiritual counterpart to it.
Par Mahanza Yogananda called that that right there, this nostalgia,
he said, this is romance with illusion. When we come forward,

(01:02:52):
me and my niece gonna keep it cooking. Let's go.

Speaker 11 (01:02:58):
By realizing that those who harm others are themselves deluded,
you know, and they're overcome by poisonous mind states. This
is why they do things which are bad and harmful. Otherwise,
if they had more intelligence, they wouldn't do that. Genuine

(01:03:19):
wisdom intelligence, not just you know, stupid intelligence. Isn't that sad?
I mean, would we want a mind which did those
things which that person has done, you know, really and
truly you know. So therefore harboring revenge or ill will

(01:03:43):
really just hurts us more than it hurts the same
doesn't hurt them. I mean, we sit there feeling angry
and upset and hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Man, it was Tensen Palmo Jetsunma. I love Tensen, I
love Pima's children. I love the variety of voices that
I'm bringing to this discussion. My niece is still on
the line Atala Phillips from Houston, Texas. I want to

(01:04:17):
ask her this final question before I let her go
to enjoy the rest of her evening.

Speaker 8 (01:04:26):
Yes, there, who.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
Benefits when your pain remains the protagonist? Who benefits when
your pain remains the protagonist? Really? You do?

Speaker 12 (01:04:44):
Really you do, because even when your pain is in
the forefront, that's still a lesson, right, that's still to
me like part of your curriculum. But I think you
can only benefit as far as your site will allow
you to see, if that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
One step in front of the other. Right, the journey,
the journey of ten thousand miles begins with one step. Right, boy,
I'm tired.

Speaker 12 (01:05:09):
I think I'm that step number like fifteen out of
five thousand five. I don't know, I'm tired.

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
I love it. I love it a niece, guess what
you just did?

Speaker 12 (01:05:19):
God Bright in the building.

Speaker 3 (01:05:21):
Houston, Texas. In the building, the vr R is on
complete fire. This is what we do. But now it's
time for me to land the plane. Does forgiving mean
forgetting or remembering without venom? Here is the clinical insight
EMDR integrates the memory of whatever happened with you. It

(01:05:42):
doesn't seek to erase it. Many of us want to
get it out of our mind and move on, but
we fail to realize that your body is Davy's locker
for painful memories. That's where's stored. The body remembers your
metaphysical insight, for that is divine love holds no amnesia,

(01:06:07):
only transmutation. According to Nichols, here's something for you to practice.
Repeat this mantra, I remember, and yet I am still free.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:06:25):
Who benefits when your pain remains the protagonist your psychological insight,
secondary gain rewards stagnancy with moral superiority your philosophical insight.
Nietsche warned against. He warned of resentment masquerading as virtue. Listen,

(01:06:49):
nietzscha He warned against resentment masquerading as virtue. Here's a tool.
Write this in your journal, right, write and ego audit
listing how your pain keeps you special. See See, you're

(01:07:12):
a stagnant magnet. You're attracting stagnancy because memory. Your ego
is rooted in memory. You feel justified being forever the victim.
This is why you keep getting intimate lessons. That's going
to teach you. Can you love your wound without letting

(01:07:38):
it lead? Huh? Your psychological insight, internal family systems honor
the wounded part. But removes it from the driver's seat.
According to Short Schwartz, listen to that internal family systems

(01:07:59):
IFS honors the wounded part but removes it from the
driver's seat. I had somebody tell me a couple of
weeks ago, I just, you know, I just like to
be in control. The wound is in the driver's seat.
You know, I just can't trust people. You know, the
wound is in the driver's seat. You know it ain't

(01:08:21):
gonna never work out for me because I always tracked
this type of The wound is in the driver's seat.
The victim is driving. The wounded victim is driving your
metaphysical insight. Love heals by inclusion, not hierarchy. You fumbled me.
You lost your opportunity with me because you were human

(01:08:44):
while you were with me. I need superhuman love. I
need superhuman perfection in order for my wounds to know
that you are consistent. Ooh, the wound is in the
driver's seat. You don't even know your stagnant magnet. Here's
a practice. Visualize the wound sitting beside you and not

(01:09:10):
in front of you as your leader. Visualize that. Then
visualize the wound sitting in a car seat with its
face pointed towards the back window. Who wants this work tonight?

(01:09:36):
Does silence heal or hide?

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:09:42):
The clinical insight here is suppression increases somatic storage. According
to vander Clock, your body is Davy's locker. You kill
a memory, it goes down to the depths of your body,
the Marianna's trench in your body. Oh my god, your

(01:10:03):
psychological ins or philosophical insight using e prime, Alfred Korzipsky's
general semantics, and eprime, Silence speaks only through context. Does
your stillness express peace or fear? Here's a tool five

(01:10:28):
minute truth speak state one unspoken truth allowed every day.
Do it for five minutes, one unspoken truth. Speak on it. Listen.
I started the conversation. It's up to you to finish it.
Today is my Friday. The voice of reason is up
out of here. But hey, make no mistake, I'll be

(01:10:49):
back next week with a whole week full of slappers.
Let's get it.