Hey, hey! Welcome back to the Owning Your Sexual Self podcast! I can hardly believe I get to say this, but today’s guests are none other than Vanessa and Xander Marin! Vanessa is a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience, Xander is the self-proclaimed “regular dude” by her side, and together they’ve built this amazing platform of relatable, hilarious, and truly practical advice for couples. Their book Sex Talks is a New York Times bestseller, their Instagram videos live in my saved folder, and their podcast Pillow Talks is basically the sex education we all wish we got. They’re funny, real, and shockingly open about the ups and downs of relationships.
In this episode:
- What the bristle reaction is and how it shows up in relationships
- How unspoken intentions during touch can create tension or shutdown
- The importance of direct versus indirect initiation of sex
- Why non sexual touch and affection matter outside the bedroom
- How to handle rejection in a way that keeps the door open for connection
- Simple practices like the 30 second hug to build closeness
- The five essential conversations from Vanessa and Xander’s book Sex Talks
- Laughs, stories, and the kind of energy that makes sex and relationships feel way less serious and way more fun
Thank you so much for listening! Don't forget to share on your social media and tag me if you loved this episode!
Resources
Sex Talks Book
Sex Talks Card Deck
The Pillow Talks Podcast
Connect with Vanessa & Xander
Instagram - @VanessaAndXander
Website - vmtherapy.com
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: therachelmaine@gmail.com
Popular Podcasts
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.