Manipulative Leadership: When Positivity Becomes a Weapon

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Bonus Episode #97: Ever wonder if your relentless optimism is actually harming your team? Drawing from Mita Mallik's Harvard Business Review article "Does your Boss Practice Toxic Positivity," this eye-opening episode explores how excessive positivity can become a manipulative weapon in the workplace.

Find the article here: "Does Your Boss Practice Toxic Positivity?"

The line between motivation and manipulation is thinner than we think. When leaders push unrealistic goals without providing adequate resources, they're not inspiring greatness—they're setting their teams up for burnout and failure. As finance professionals, we face tremendous pressure to deliver results regardless of constraints. But demanding performance without acknowledging reality isn't leadership; it's denial wrapped in a smile.

Ready to transform your leadership approach? Listen now and discover how balancing optimism with realism builds the trust and respect that drives sustainable success. Then share your experiences with manipulative positivity and how you've addressed it in your workplace.

Episode outline:

1. The weaponization of being too positive,
2. Be more realistic in your leadership style, and 
3. Validate your team members’ concerns, which can lead to better solutions. 

Please connect with me on:

1. Instagram: stephen.mclain
2. Twitter: smclainiii
3. Facebook: stephenmclainconsultant
4. LinkedIn: stephenjmclainiii

For more resources, please visit Finance Leader Academy:  financeleaderacademy.com.

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Episode Transcript

Stephen McLain (00:00):
Hi. This is Stephen McLain of the finance
leader podcast. This is bonusepisode number 97 this week I am
sharing a replay of episodenumber 132. Mastering genuine
positivity without the pitfalls.
This episode was my take on agreat article by Mita Mallick,
titled, does your boss practicetoxic positivity. It's a great

(00:21):
review. Asking if too muchoptimism is holding you back,
please listen if you missed itlast time. It reminds us about
being balanced in our leadershipapproach. Please enjoy this
encore episode I am working on,bringing you season number 21
which is very soon. Have a greatrest of your week. Thank you.

(00:49):
Have you ever felt you werebeing manipulated by excessive
praise or empty adulations sothat you would press on with a
difficult task without question?
We don't have to manipulate ourteam to properly motivate them,
be honest and realistic with thetasks and requirements we assign
to our team, set them up forsuccess even when you have few

(01:12):
resources to do so help yourteam win by doing your part to
eliminate obstacles and tomaximize existing resources so
your team members can achievesuccess. Continue to assess and
refine how you motivate yourteam to build genuine work
relationships based on trust andmutual respect, never

(01:32):
manipulation. Please enjoy theepisode. Welcome to the finance
leader podcast where leadershipis bigger than the numbers. I am
your host. Stephen McLain, thisis the podcast for developing
leaders in finance andaccounting. Please consider
following me on Twitter,Facebook, Instagram and
LinkedIn. My usernames and thelinks are in this episode's show

(01:53):
notes, and you can also followfinance leader Academy on
LinkedIn. Thank you. This isepisode number 132 and I'll be
talking about the impact ofusing positivity to manipulate
your team. And I will highlightthe following topics. Number
one, the weaponization of beingtoo positive. Number two, be
more realistic in yourleadership style. And three,

(02:16):
validate your team membersconcerns which can lead to
better solutions. Baseballcenter fielder Aaron judge said,
if your team is in the trenches,then you've got to be in the
trenches with them. HarvardBusiness Review published an
article last year by Mita Maliktitled, does your boss practice
toxic positivity? It's anenlightening article about how

(02:40):
unchecked optimism, without anyconsideration of reality in the
workplace can lead tomanipulation, burnout and
frustration, because leadershipoffers no solutions for
obstacles when we all know thatobstacles are real in the
workplace, whether it is a lackof resources or a lack of
training, being short staffed,or even unrealistic goals. I

(03:02):
believe that leadership is aprivilege. Not everyone
understands that, yes, we riseto roles that require leading
others, but often there is alack of knowledge on how to
properly motivate our teamwithout manipulating them. I
recommend reading this articlein applying its lessons, I'll
leave a link to the article inthe show notes to this episode

(03:24):
last week in Episode 131, stayon track for long term success.
Our first check in for 2025 Iconducted a check in with
everyone on how their goalsetting and goal achievement was
going so far in the new year.
Are you on track or do you needto make a few adjustments? This
is a great time to update yourplan and document your progress

(03:46):
after one month in the new year.
Now we have to be careful not tomisuse positive comments to
manipulate our team and ourorganization when we set
unrealistic goals orexpectations and we convince
others to go along with that, itcould be abuse. I talk often on
this podcast about helping yourteam overcome obstacles. You

(04:08):
have to set up your team forsuccess. You need to provide the
resources required to help themachieve team and organizational
goals. There is a point where alack of resources will result in
failure and extra effort willnot overcome it. Now most of you
know I served in the army for acareer, and we were expected to
never fail and to never make anexcuse. So I understand this

(04:32):
situation, but the military is adifferent culture, and the
mission is very, very unique inthe business environment, you
are not literally in violentcombat, fighting to the last
person for a national strategicobjective where your very
freedom could be at risk. In thebusiness environment, you are
making sales to achieve aprofitable situation, two

(04:54):
entirely different cultures andtwo entirely different missions
and required commitment. Soensure your business is properly
resourced, so your people canachieve the organizational goals
or make the adjustments based onthe resources you have. The
author, Mita Malik walks usthrough the weaponization of
positivity, she says, and Iquote, no matter how bad or

(05:17):
stressful the situation is orhow difficult of circumstances,
they convince themselves thatsimply acting happy or thinking
positive will change theoutcome. End, quote, these same
leaders push this unrealisticapproach to their teams. Team
objectives must have matchingresources with realistic
expectations. When we lead, wehelp our team members achieve

(05:40):
their goals through coaching,training and mentoring, the
weekly team meeting and the oneon one meetings you have with
each person helps to provide anopportunity to address issues to
overcome How do you know you arebeing manipulated? Are you
required to maintain a fakepersona no matter the
circumstances? Is happinessrequired at work at all times.

(06:01):
Does your boss use excessiveflattery to get you to perform
impossible tasks or achieveimpossible outcomes? If this is
happening to you, then make aplan to address it. Why is this
so critical for finance leaders?
We need to ask ourselves if theplan or goal set out by the
board and executive team makessense. For example, as CFO, you
need to state your opinion ifthe level of resources committed

(06:25):
matches the growth that isexpected. If the CEO wants to
stay flat in the budget but growrevenue 30% year over year. Is
that possible? What additionalresources will be required, or
what resources need to bereallocated to make this happen.
Can it happen? Some may say thatit is our job to make it happen,
but it is also our job to notpractice group think. Do

(06:48):
everything you can to help shapeand achieve realistic
organizational goals. Theimportant point for us all is to
be careful about surroundingyourself with Yes, people. We
want people to follow directionsAbsolutely, but we also want
people to question the statusquo, to question when things
don't make sense. If you want toincrease your chance of failure,

(07:10):
surround yourself with peoplewho won't question one decision
you make. Leadership is hard nomatter what, because every day
you are trying to maximizepossibly limited resources in
order to turn it into somethingamazing every day, even when the
world wants to stop you at everyturn, let's do everything we can

(07:31):
to set realistic expectationsand to treat people fairly and
with dignity. The other side ofthis article is to take notice
if you are being manipulated.
Most of this episode, I amconcentrating on leaders doing
the right thing, but thisarticle can make you smart so
you can notice for yourself ifyou are being manipulated, to

(07:52):
help you take action to alterthe situation for yourself. Now
let's talk about the impact ofusing positivity to manipulate
your team number one, theweaponization of being too
positive. I love optimism, butcan optimism to the extreme be
harmful? It sure can. When facedwith crisis, we need leaders
ready to find solutions, notjust make everything sound

(08:16):
wonderful. Should you be aleader building confidence,
definitely, instead of doom andgloom? Of course, again, yes. So
it comes down to our approach.
Be honest, take charge and leadyour team without the fluff.
Now, trickery becomes apparent.
People are smart, so if you'reconsistently trying to trick
them into something, they willfigure it out, just like I asked

(08:38):
you to respect your team. Youdon't want to lose their
respect. Your team wants to bevalued and treated with respect.
Flattery. To get your way is abad move. It's not leadership.
It's manipulation. This isparticularly true when it comes
to resource gaps. When you aretrying to trick your team in
doing way more than theircapacity, you have a duty to

(08:59):
manage and then fix the gapsshort term, not great solutions
can be exercised if you arehonest and if you as the leader,
also assume some of that extraworkload. Number two, be more
realistic in your leadershipstyle. Always start with
yourself when faced with anorganizational or team problem,
do you lead with integrity,honesty and with trust built

(09:21):
into your actions, we all facepressure to deliver fantastic
results every month and to comeup with a great idea. But what
do you do when the results arenot great, or if you are short
staffed, but with lots of workto complete, there are many ways
to attack a staff resourceproblem set your priorities,
which means you have to directmore on what projects get worked

(09:43):
first, protect your team's timefrom unwanted and less important
requests and cancel wastefulmeetings. This, again, is a way
to protect time and anotherlever you can pull change your
processes, make sure yourprocesses are easier so you can
save time and. Eliminate somefrustration, be truthful and
authentic in all yourcommunication and how you treat

(10:06):
people, that's basic leadership.
Treat your team right, take careof them, and they will take care
of you, including doing extrawhen it is required, but you as
a leader, has to show up first.
Self awareness is a necessaryskill, but seek feedback on how
you speak to your people and howyou motivate your team. Number
three, validate your teammembers concerns which can lead

(10:29):
to better solutions. I alwaysencourage leaders to be great
listeners. Don't be dismissive.
Listen and comprehend. I had tolearn to be an active listener
over the years, and I am stilllearning. I realized I needed to
change when I was a unitcommander in the army, and I had
just started my MBA program,active listening was a key
topic, and I dove in. You haveto be deliberate when listening.

(10:51):
You need to drop everything andturn to the person who is
talking and validate what youare hearing. The next step is to
apply what you learn from yourteam. You should be able to
learn something significant thatcan make a positive difference.
Next is to develop a realisticplan. When faced with a problem,
take the lead, and I expect youto sacrifice, also sacrifice

(11:13):
right along with your team ifyou need to make drastic
changes. Now, as financeleaders, we face a myriad of
problems while trying todetermine why something
happened, and we have to givedirection to our team on what
data to pull or what type ofinformation should be analyzed.
We may need to try differentthings to help senior leaders
make better decisions. Thepressure is great, indeed, to

(11:36):
figure out something and oftenquickly and often the data
doesn't support what weprojected to happen. So how do
you deliver such news, and howdo you motivate your team to
find a better solution? Whenthings go wrong, we can blame or
we can find solutions. We canchoose to manipulate our team,
or we can become the leader ourteam deserves by leading the

(11:56):
process, by leading withintegrity and not with coercion
or tricks or even manipulation.
Now for action today, the greatleaders know how to listen to
their team members, especiallyto the team member with vast
experience. I'm also assumingthat leaders want to make a
genuine contribution to making adifference without using

(12:18):
manipulation to get what theywant during tough situations, I
recommend you assess yourprocess for getting people on
board when faced with a toughproblem, how do you address the
workload and how do you addressperformance improvement? I was
asked to speak at a financeLeadership Development Program.
It's a three week virtualtraining event to help you

(12:39):
unlock critical skills so youcan reach for higher roles in
finance and accounting. It iscalled the Office of the CFO
boot camp topics include the CFOmindset, strategic influence,
change, leadership and executivepresence and communication. You
can find more information andhow to sign up at finance leader
academy.com select boot camp inthe top menu. I will also drop a

(13:02):
link in this episode show notes,if you're listening to this
episode later, there is a planfor additional workshops. So
keep checking that link. Today,I talked about the impact of
using positivity to manipulateyour team, and I highlighted the
following points. Number one,the weaponization of being too
positive. Number two, be morerealistic in your leadership

(13:24):
style. And three, validate yourteam members concerns which can
lead to better solutions. I wantto thank Mita Malik and Harvard
Business Review for publishingthis article. It is so important
to realize what we are saying toour team. We have to be aware of
our words and our actions whenit comes to leading our team,
and if you use intentionalmanipulation to sway your team

(13:45):
to work a certain way or to workharder instead of being honest.
So please, let's find a betterway to do it. And if you are an
aspiring leader, developingrealistic leadership is key to
success for your team. Asleaders, we have tools to help
our team with workload andpriorities. That's what leaders
do. So let's help our team andlead from the front, as we say

(14:09):
in the army. Please read thearticle, and there is a link in
the show notes. Great article. Irecommend it for your
development. I hope you enjoyedthe finance leader podcast. You
can find this episode. Whereveryou listen to podcasts. If this
episode helped you today, pleaseshare with a colleague until
next time, you can check outmore resources on finance,
theater, academy.com, and signup for my weekly updates if you

(14:32):
don't miss an episode of thepodcast, and now you'll lead
your team and I'll see you nexttime. Thank you. You.