July 22, 2025 • 28 mins
Are college students still looking for love? Model, influencer, and "The Afterparty Files" host Shae Smolik stops by to break down the state of the date on campus, the problem with frat boys, how to deal with girl gossip, navigating school/life balance, living life as a "hot chick", and much much more!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Pod Popular Podcast for the People, The.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the Great
Love Debate. It's a Great Love Debate. Hi again everyone,
It's Brian Howie. Welcome to The Great Love Debate, the
world's number one dating and relationship podcast since twenty fifteen.
I am here in the very fine studios of Pod
(00:30):
Populi Podcasts for the People. I am back once again
in the one in Bokratone, Florida, and the weather here
is swampy and it's like Jurassic Park down here. As
I walked into the studio there was a big green,
prehistoric looking critter of some time. So I'm a little
off of my game. You guys know me doing the
(00:50):
show a long long time. I don't like to do zoom.
Even during the height of COVID, I didn't do zoom.
I always wanted people in the studio, uh, because it's
a better way to sort of connect. However, I have
a guest here today and she's the only one I
know who can answer a lot of the questions that
I have. She normally records at the Pod Popular Podcast
with the People Scottsdale studio because she is about to
(01:11):
be a sophomore. I believe at Arizona State University got
sun devils. But it's hot there in the summer. So
she is home in Iowa, where I'm sure it is
not much cooler. I have a lot of questions for
her because that demo is in a bit of flux,
and we will get into that in a second. She
is a model, she's an actress, she's an influencer. She's
the host of the after Party Files podcast. She's a
(01:34):
bon vivant. She makes her way around the night life scene.
She's got a lot of things to say. Shay Smollick,
how are you?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I am doing good.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
I'm happy to be here. How are you?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Is?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
What is an Iowa summer? Like?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Very humid. It'll be like seventy degrees, but it feels
like it's ninety five because it's so humid.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, the Midwest is underrated, crappy in the summer. It
really really is.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So. This show is about love, dating and related ships.
Are those things important to college people these days?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I would say for the way I grew up, it
is like I've always looked for love, But in college people.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Are more looking for hookups and sex.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And like flings and all that type of thing. So
I mean for uh, like sorority girls and prat guys. Yeah,
but I've always looked for actual love and.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Not a hookup.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
So you can be asked out on dates, you go
on dates.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Yes, well I say no to a lot, but yeah,
that's a different conversation.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But a guy asks you out on a date, so
you go on actual dates. Because I've heard again this
isn't even unique to college people. Twenties thirties people just
kind of want to meet up, hang out, see where
it goes, maybe hook up and then you're kind of
hanging out. Is there a date ability?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, no, that's definitely how the world is now.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It's like a hookup culture.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
But yeah, I do go on dates. You just have
to kind of meet all of my standards and then
I'll go out on a date with you.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
But why in the world are the standards.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
In all that type of stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
What are the standards?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I don't know. Just like there's a lot of guys
in my college that like hate their parents. I don't
know what that's about, but guys are just really rude
to their parents that bothers me a lot, or just
rude to other females, Like some girls will be like, oh,
he shouldn't be opening the door for a girl or
driving a girl, like say she's drunk because she has
no way to get home, she shouldn't he shouldn't be
driving her home. But I don't know. Those standards to
(03:26):
me are like, you're a good person.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I agree with you. A lot of those standards come
from the from the young women, though, who are like
I'm independent, I can hold my own door, I can
drive myself, which doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room
for the guys to sort of step up and be
the man you know.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Right, I definitely believe in like like I'm a very
independent person, but also I'm a female and you're a male,
and you have certain requirements as I have certain requirements
in a relationship, like you opening the door for me
is the bare minimum, or if we go out and
we're splitting the check. I don't know, that's just weird
to me, Like that's not how I grew up.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You need he wants your thank you more than he
wants your forty bucks. Trust me, right now. You you
grew up in Iowa, right, yes, and you ended up
at Arizona State. So I hope you're not offended by
this term. We defined uh this on our last podcast.
I believe the clinical term is is hot chick? Your
hot chick? You went. You chose the school with probably
(04:22):
the most hot chicks in the country. Was that intentional
or did you realize that when you got there?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
No, I always knew.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I mean, my mom used to live in Phoenix, so
I always knew there was and she's pretty hot my
mom is, so I always knew there was hot females
in Arizona. So I thought I'd just fit in there, not.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Like my own horn.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
But I was not a fish out of water.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I'm more of a like a Phoenix girl than I
would ever be a one and Iowa girl. So but
that wasn't the intention when going there, because there's so
many pretty girls.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
But I just fit in more with that crowd than.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I do I will, and there are I mean, I
used to say the first time I discovered her, I
went to Irish Catholic College in the North and by
the time I discovered Arizona State, I'm like I would
have failed out here in about three weeks because I
would have been so distracted. But when you're there. It
does make it competitive, and it does mean that the
guys have choices, and it does sometimes mean that maybe
(05:15):
they don't have to step up their behavior because if like, oh,
Shay won't go out with me, well she'll go out
with me, and then somebody else will go out with me,
and that is that does make it a little bit harder.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
No, it definitely does, and like it can kind of
make you feel insecure at times when you go out
to the bar and you see this girl with big
fake booths and these big fake lips and she's just
like there's long, beautiful brown hair. Like it's definitely intimidating
at times. But then I always think about, like, there's
a guy out there that wants me for me and
who I am. And so a lot of these girls
at colleges are pretty easy, and that's what guys are
(05:45):
looking for is a fun time, not a long time.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
So I don't really want them anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
If they're gonna have multiple options, I'm like, all right, Yeah,
she's pretty.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
She school go for it.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, you must have a fake ID.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Four.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
How hard is it to get a fake ID these days?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Oh? Not hard at all. There's like people that post
on Snapchat stories and they're like, hey, selling fake IDs.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Let me know if you need one.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So I guess the technology, the technology to make them
is ahead of the technology to detect them. I suppose
that's right. Yes, now, knowing that you're again, you're a
lot more than attractive, So don't take this the wrong way.
You're very blonde. You know though, and I've said this
to a lot of our guests, that every guy will
(06:30):
probably want to go out with you once. I'm not
saying every guy go out with you twice because you
might not connect and he might not like you whatever,
but you know pretty much that you have the chance
to go out with a lot of guys. That means
that every single date might not feel as special or
unique or an opportunity because you know it's not going
to be the last opportunity you get this year. That
(06:50):
is the challenge to kind of work through that awkward
ick that you might feel in that you know, first
twenty minutes or first hour and been like and not
onto the next where somebody who thinks, yeah, I might
not get asked to gown out again. The advantage that
they have is they're willing to work through that does
that make sense?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah? It does.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Also for me, icks are a big thing, Like I
get the ick really super easily.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
And then I can't look at the person.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Again because I'm like you, I can only envision you
doing that, and then I just lose interest automatically. Like
it's hard for me to like someone, but when I
like someone, I really like them, and then I just
overthink and should go south.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
But give me an example of of what Mike you
do ick Like he's got nachos in his teeth, Like
what is the ick?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
No? Like one time I was playing beer pong and
the uh ping pong ball like rolled across the floor
and he started chasing after.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
It, And that really grows from me out like a puppy,
Like he was like chasing it kept rolling away from
him because someone would kick it or like whatever, just
kept rolling away and he was like on the ground.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
That's like a rom com. That's kind of like sweet,
That's like something out on Adam Sandler movie.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Do you think I want something kind of an Adid
Standler movie.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Probably not. That's a pretty good point. So if he
had like snagged it with one hand, he's still dating you.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, if he like caught it. I was like, cool
about it.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Then, Yeah, gotta step up your beer pong skills. Boys, Right,
what are you in a sorority or you're not in
a sorority?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
I didn't see a point.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I'm a pretty social human being and it's not hard
for me.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
To go out and meet new people.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
And I'm not paying seventeen hundred a semester for that.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, and I'm sure your mom doesn't want to hear
that other bluss. You got to buy the dresses, you
gotta go all the stuff, you gotta do all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, And I travel a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
And if you miss like a chapter meeting or whatever
sisterhood event and you're paying five hundred dollars, So.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
No, not for me.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
How do you determine guys that are like what is
your screening process to guys who are looking for sex
or looking for love or looking for date? Like, how
do you how do you sort through that? Because guys
can say a lot of things, Well.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I will always I'll never go for freshmen or sophomores
because freshmen, you know, they just got there and they're
trying to have a good time and experimenting with everything possible,
and sophomores are kind of the same way, but juniors
and seniors they've kind of already gotten that out of
the way and they're ready to actually settle down and
look for a wife or a relationship. But also just
(09:21):
the way like if you're out partying every night and
going to these frat part like you see it, you'll
see it. At frat parties, they're making out with ten
different girls or like pulling someone to the bathroom and
then they come out looking like they just did something
no one wants to know about. So I don't know.
I mean, all frat guys had their time or are
having their time, so you just kind of have to
(09:41):
wait it out. If you really like a person, you
just wait for them to get over it.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
That's a good point though, but the challenges a senior
at Arizona State has four classes of girls to choose from.
Generally where the freshman sophomore guys, they're kind of stuck
dealing with the freshman sophomore again, everything the numbers game,
but you have to just pick one.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I guess, yeah, I do you just put that into perspective.
I didn't yeh, Sorry, I didn't think about that, did you
Thanks for adding that.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
What are you majoring in? Do you know that yet?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Communication and journalism with a minor in business and entrepreneurship.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Oh wow, good for you. Isn't the Kronkite School there
at Arizona State in good for you? How do you
balance academics with your fun? Obviously you're there to get
an education, Obviously you have ambition and all that, but
it is a playground of opportunities there to have fun.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, I I'll set like goals for myself. So if
I go to class and I have like a math test,
for example, I have to study for at.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Least three hours before I can go and do anything.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Or like if I have an assignment, do I have
to get that done before I can even start getting
ready to go out. So then I put myself to
work so that I can go and have fun.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
But you also travel a lot, you do modeling, gigs
and stuff. How do you how do you balance that?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
They're pretty flexible with that. There's certain classes where like
attendance is mandatory, you can.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Only miss four classes.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
But I have two doctors as parents, and they know
how to write doctors notes pretty well.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
So that's been useful.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
But yeah, I also have a lot of online classes
because of the traveling I do and like I'm filming
a movie and spring, so I have literally all online classes.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
How do the schools this is not a love dating
relationship thing, this is an academic thing. How does schools
prevent you from having like AI write your papers because
AI grades papers.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Now they can't.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I've had friends like, I'm really good at English, so
I'll write all of my own English papers and I
got accused of using AI, but there was no AI
in it. But my friend wrote a twenty page essay
all on AI. Didn't write a single thing of her
own aside from the references, and she put it in
a paraphraser and it never showed up as AI.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
I mean, that is loophole. But again, they the professors
are using AI for everything. There are people though, on
dating apps they're using AI. There are people that are
texting using AI. Like, eventually you have got to develop
a personality or this person's gonna find you out right.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, that's another reason why. Like when we're writing research papers. Again,
I'm a really good writer for whatever reason, and I'm
very like, I don't know when it comes to writing.
I write very educational, like I'm trying to teach someone.
And that's why they thought it was AI, because AI
doesn't have any personality at all. They just are educational
(12:34):
and they're writing for education when you do that. So yeah,
I got pulled into the dean's office and they went.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Through my computer.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Oh really, that seems invasive.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Well, it definitely was, but also like it never came
up as AI in the detector, like I was green
in the detector. He just did that because it sounded
like like what freshman girl is writing twenty five pages
when she was supposed to write fifteen. Yeah, but I
mean I get it at a certain point. But they
literally went through my like wiped my whole computer of everything.
(13:09):
Chat GBT she's the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I was an English major too, and I'm a good writer,
and I hate that people are able to write things
that are at least a reasonable facsimile of the way
I would write by using AI. And I feel like
my my most valuable skill set is out so sad
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Really matter anymore when you can just have a computer
do it for you.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I know, all right, I'm gonna take a quick break
because we got to pay for things like AI around here.
I'm here with Shay Smollick. We're going to talk about
her podcast and all the shenanigans she's getting into. We
will be back right after this, and we are back.
Okay the After Party Files. Explain the philosophy behind it
(13:53):
and explain what you're getting into on it.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, So I've I'm a great talker and I love talking.
That's a trait in my family that no one else has.
So my mom was like, when I was around fifteen,
She's like, why don't you start a podcast? But I
didn't know what to talk about. I was fifteen years old.
There was nothing for me to talk about. And then
I went into like I got accepted to Arizona State,
(14:16):
and everyone knows Arizona States is big party school. Everyone's drinking.
So I decided to obviously reach out to you guys
and we figured it out and it's about everything college life, hookups, dating, drinking, parties,
everything like that, and.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
It's a lot of fun to do.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
You've had some few influencers on there, though, some girls
from other schools. And is that a small community? Is
that a just a giant community? How do you differentiate
yourself from just another girl posting on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Yeah, you kind of all have your niche. Like my
niche is looking hot and posting about college.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
That's a pretty big niche.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That's my nie.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah yeah right.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
But you know, like I have a friend who I
was on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Her name's Ainsley.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
She has four point five million on TikTok and the
reason she does is because she posted like point of
views like acting TikTok's basically during COVID and that just
blew her up, and you know, she became this big
thing or like, it's just like about your niche and
you have to make it your niche for really long
time to actually grow.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Do you have? Is that somebody you want to emulate?
Is that? Is there somebody in Hollywood you want to
emily because obviously you act too. Is there somebody like,
oh that's who the career I want is?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I don't know, I mean I would Margot Robbie is
up there. She is an incredible actor. She can do
everything basically, but also like Zendaya, Zendaya is literally like
a triple threat. She can do everything. And that's what
I'm a very busy body, so I love doing trying
new things and going out of my way to get
the best at every thing. I'm very much a perfectionist.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So do you sing? Do you sing?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I do?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
All right? Well, there you go. You try, you develop skills,
you know, and you can write too. I always tell
people who are aspiring to be in show business because
this is what I've done for a long time. Create
your own material, create your own break, create your own product,
create your own productions, you know, write your one woman show.
Show people what you can do.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You know. Yeah, we are actually in the middle of producing.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Our own movie. You mean, my mom, are so good
for you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
How does your mom balance being a mom? Oh my god,
my daughter is out there in a bikini in college
versus she's your mom, Like, how do you how does
she balance that? Maybe I should ask her that I'm
asking you that what the what are the sort of
the ground rules that she gives you? Because obviously it's
it's it's exciting, but it's also scary and a lot
of people are noticing you. A lot of people are
looking you, And the more notoriety that you you have,
(16:55):
the more creepinesses in your world.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Like, I don't know, well, I've been modeling and acting
and singing since I was seven, so I've kind of
grew up in this world. And I started doing runway
shows and bikinis at like fourteen. So going to Arizona
State that was actually one of the schools she wanted
me to go to. But also everything's an opportunity to
grow and she knows that.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
But she also is more on the stricter side.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So when I'm in like a thong bikini at a
frat party, She's like, all right, cover up maybe, but
also I'm not a bad child.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
When I'm in a thong bikini at a frat party,
that's twenty twenty five for you.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Well, I mean it's like one hundred and twenty degrees.
I think I'd rather be in a bikini than in
shorts and a tiny tank top.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I suppose, Yeah, I mean I don't. I don't run
into these problems like you do. But that's a challenge.
That's a challenge of going to Arizona State. Yeah, well,
now how do you do that? Knowing that you are
at best, at worst a distraction and at best you
you were in a frat party, Like obviously every guy's
going to want to talk to you. Obviously every guy's
going to hit on you. How do you kind of
(18:01):
maintain your own space discipline? Do you know? I don't know.
It's hard.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Well, while everyone is drunk, I don't drink.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I'm DD most of the times.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Like They'll be special occasions where I go out and
drink if it's like at a restaurant or whatever, but
I won't drink at bars or frat parties, and if
I do, what's one drink. The reason for that is
because I don't trust frat men and I don't trust females.
Frat men can do anything when you're not looking, and
that scares me because my friend got roofied and she
has no.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Idea what happened to her.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
So after that, I was like, yeah, I'm not doing that. So,
you know, me taking care of my friends and being
mom of the group has really helped me because while
my friends are doing stupid stuff, I'm not. I can
I know my surroundings, I know who I'm talking to,
I know who not to talk.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
To and what not to do.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
How do you trust?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I would say that one of the most underrated factors
of being any age as a woman is sort of
what I call girl on girl crime. Girls are not
always your best friends. Girls are not always want your
best interests, especially in the circles that I imagine you're
traveling in and imagine the guys that are around you.
How do you kind of know who's a true sister
and who's not.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Yeah, I keep a very small friend group. My roommate
is one of my close friends, and then my roommate
next year will be one of my close friends. But
it takes me a long time to trust people because
growing up in the industry that I was in in
small town Iowa, I had my best friends telling me
to do things that no one should ever do, and
(19:31):
you know, bully me. So it takes me a really
long time to actually trust someone. But once it gets
to that point, I can trust you. But also like,
it's just the little things like say I was drunk,
would I trust you to get me home safely? Or
if I was sick? What could I trust you to
bring me orra introduce or whatever it is. It's the
little things that get to me.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Were you a pageant girl?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah? How did you know that.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Kind of the I don't know the discipline of it,
And you know, people make fun of the pageants circuit.
But the pageant circuit does teach you a lot of things.
Teach us about competition, It teaches you about skill sets,
It teaches you presentation, teaches you present yourself. This is
not an insult as a pageant girl, and I have
a lot of respect for the pageant's circuit. What did
you do?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Yeah, so I was in. I'm looking at the crown
and stuff there right now, but I was in. I
was seven, When I'm six or seven, I only did
one and it was called National American Miss, and I
won Princess Miss Iowa. And then I went on to
the national level and won the National American Miss Princess
from Iowa. Who's no one from Iowa's ever won it.
(20:38):
But that was a very all It wasn't toddlers into
yours at all.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
My parents would never do that.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
It wasn't John Benay, No, it was.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Not John Vana Riansy.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
But yeah, no, it was all natural. It was. It
was a lot of fun and it gave me obviously
every skill asset I've had, because I know how to
interview and I know how to do public speaking, and my.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Confidence is through the roof.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
So I'm very grateful I did it, and people made
fun of me all throughout high school.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
I've always been a huge advocate. Like I said, life's
all about competition, at least at least in the pageant world.
You know what the rules are, and you have skill set,
ours and is presentation and it is all that. Now,
how come you stop doing it? Then?
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Well, because I didn't want to. I wasn't going to
go on to do like the big like teen USA.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
But I just became really busy.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I moved to California for acting, and I didn't really
have time anymore because I was traveling so much, and
I didn't have time to get coached. So I decided
to stop doing it, and then I started working for
National American Myths.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
It is expensive that world too. I mean, you do
have to have, you know, the coach person, you have
to have the eyelash person, you have to have a
presentation person. That is no joke, it is and and
this all of what you're trying to do is a
commitment for your parents and they have to be on
board with your choices. Is this an ongoing discussion or
(21:58):
is it, like, you know, I need you guys to
support me and this is what I want to do.
I mean, it's tough to balance that versus Shay, you
need to be a doctor.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Right, Yeah, No, they definitely gave me the freedom. For
a while, I wanted to be an OBGI in there,
and they supported me all throughout that decision. But then
it changed because now I want.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
To be a lawyer.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
But I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am
now if it weren't for my parents. They're very supportive
and if I ever changed my mind on anything, they
think of all the possibilities. They think of the negatives
and the positives, and we meet in the middle and
we think, Okay, what's the best option for me? But yeah,
they I you know, with my dad's money and my
mom's heart, we got far.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So there you go, with my dad's money and my
mom's heart. Put that in a bumper sticker. All right,
this is your first time on my podcast. We play
something called worst date or first date. So you either
have to tell us the worst date you've ever been
on or the very best first date you've been on.
Your choice.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I can tell you the worst first date.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Okay, that's even better. That's a combo platter, the worst
first date. Okay, not don't give me the beer pong guy,
because that's not so bad. That's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I won't Okay, So this is a little interesting. I
dated a twenty eight year old at the age of
eighteen last summer, and.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Interesting one way to put that.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, what was that?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Where do you find a twenty eight year old that's
dating an eighteen year old?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
My best friend was dating his younger brother and he
was really nice and he had money.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I thought, why not?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Okay, fair enough, continue to fla.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
But anyways, we went to Flemings, which is a steakhouse,
sure you, And I'm allergic to a lot of things,
Like I'm allergic to twenty five things, and five of
them closed my throat Jesus speaking a Caesar salad and
it starts to taste funny and then I just blow up,
Like my face is I look like a pupper brush
(23:56):
and I can't breathe. So I'm sitting there at first
date with this guy, like drools coming out of my
mouth because I can't breathe. He has to call nine
one one and I.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Have to go to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That was That's that's his worst date. What did you eat?
What was in the caesar salad?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I think it was peanut oil. I'm allergic to peanuts
really bad.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Because Flemings has some really good carrot cake. I hope
you get involved in that. What what? So do you
have to You have to just trust. That's the problem
with people who have allergies, because I've run I've been
on dates that they've done this and they're like, is
there any you know, peanuts in this? And the waiter's
like no, And I'm like, you trust you could die
here and you're just trying somebody who just started here
at a cheesecake factory to give you the honest thing.
(24:38):
That's risky, right.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah. I also didn't think there would be like anything
I'm allergic to on a caesar salad.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
You're a twenty five things. You gotta throw a dart
and it's something you're allergic to.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
That is true.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But this is also the one time I didn't have
my EpiPen. I usually carryed it, carry it in that
purse right there, right, And I had a different purse
because that one didn't match my outfit. And I was like, oh,
I won't.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Need my priorities.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, right, And I did meet my epipenh.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
One of my first girlfriend, my first girlfriend I ever had.
Every time we would kiss, I would get sick and
I couldn't figure I was nervous or whatever. I was
allergic to whatever her cheap lip gloss was. When she
was seventeen years old. Like, we could figure it out.
Like every time we would make out a little, I
(25:24):
would end up like throwing up, and I'm like, is
this with it? This is not the proper reaction. We
figured it out that she had some very cheap Uh.
I guess it was lip gloss. And how's the answer
to that? So wait, So what happened that? That's the
guy sounds very sweet? He took you to the emergency room.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Oh he was not sweet.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh well, all right.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
To Miami for we stayed together after that. He did
stay with me after seeing look like a popper fish,
which was good of him. But I went to Miami
for three days and he had sex with another girl.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
So that's a shitty date. Yeah, how'd you find that out?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Well, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Well, my intuition originally told me they were both in
a relationship at the time. She was in a relationship
of like three years he was in a relationship with
me and they were hanging out. They were pregaming to
go to the bar, and it was very odd because
my best friend at the time, who set me up
with this guy, was also trying to set this other
chick up with my boyfriend. Yeah, it worked, and about
(26:32):
two weeks later I found out they went to the
Ozarks a week before all of this happened before I
went to Miami, and they also had sex there. So
I was being lied to by my boyfriend and my
best friend and I'm not really friends with her.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Anymore, nor should you be nor him. Takes a while
for boys to grow up, takes a while for girls, scrol.
I know you want to find the one and settle
down and all that. Be patient. Yeah, I know you
won't know who you are at twenty five. You're certainly
not gonna know who they.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Are, are, right, Yeah. It just sucks because I'm a
lover girl at heart, and like, I want a relationship
so bad, but anytime I'm talking to someone, they always
prove me wrong, Like why I shouldn't be in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I know, but it only takes one and you always
hope that's the last one. Yes, how long have your
parents been married?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Thirty five years?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
That's a good example, right, yeah, all right, well find
what they have.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
They are both second marriages.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Okay, well, then pay attention to that too. All right,
you were great. This was great. I learned a lot.
And stay away from the other hot chicks. They're rough.
Tell everybody how they can find you, your podcast, your socials,
all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah. So my Instagram and my TikTok are Chase smull like.
My YouTube is also Shay moll like. You can follow
the after Party Files on Instagram at the after Party Files,
and you can watch them on any platform you watch
your podcast on.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
All right, this is fun as far as us like share, follow.
Please review this podcast and the after Party Files. Your
reviews mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. After five
hundred episodes, we still care about your five star review.
Click five stars. We give you free content to that.
Shoot me an email Great Loved Debate at gmail dot
com if you've got questions, thoughts, comments you want to
(28:17):
ask out Shay. You can't ask her out if you're
twenty eight, though, I will not allow it because, as
always at The Great Love Debate, we never stopped making love.
See you next time. The Great Love Debate. It's the
great love debate. Great love debate. It's a great love debate.
This is Pod Popular Podcast for the People, The.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the Great
Love Debate. It's a Great Love Debate. Hi again everyone,
It's Brian Howie. Welcome to The Great Love Debate, the
world's number one dating and relationship podcast since twenty fifteen.
I am here in the very fine studios of Pod
(00:30):
Populi Podcasts for the People. I am back once again
in the one in Bokratone, Florida, and the weather here
is swampy and it's like Jurassic Park down here. As
I walked into the studio there was a big green,
prehistoric looking critter of some time. So I'm a little
off of my game. You guys know me doing the
(00:50):
show a long long time. I don't like to do zoom.
Even during the height of COVID, I didn't do zoom.
I always wanted people in the studio, uh, because it's
a better way to sort of connect. However, I have
a guest here today and she's the only one I
know who can answer a lot of the questions that
I have. She normally records at the Pod Popular Podcast
with the People Scottsdale studio because she is about to
(01:11):
be a sophomore. I believe at Arizona State University got
sun devils. But it's hot there in the summer. So
she is home in Iowa, where I'm sure it is
not much cooler. I have a lot of questions for
her because that demo is in a bit of flux,
and we will get into that in a second. She
is a model, she's an actress, she's an influencer. She's
the host of the after Party Files podcast. She's a
(01:34):
bon vivant. She makes her way around the night life scene.
She's got a lot of things to say. Shay Smollick,
how are you?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I am doing good.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
I'm happy to be here. How are you?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Is?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
What is an Iowa summer? Like?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Very humid. It'll be like seventy degrees, but it feels
like it's ninety five because it's so humid.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah, the Midwest is underrated, crappy in the summer. It
really really is.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
So. This show is about love, dating and related ships.
Are those things important to college people these days?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I would say for the way I grew up, it
is like I've always looked for love, But in college people.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Are more looking for hookups and sex.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And like flings and all that type of thing. So
I mean for uh, like sorority girls and prat guys. Yeah,
but I've always looked for actual love and.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Not a hookup.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
So you can be asked out on dates, you go
on dates.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Yes, well I say no to a lot, but yeah,
that's a different conversation.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But a guy asks you out on a date, so
you go on actual dates. Because I've heard again this
isn't even unique to college people. Twenties thirties people just
kind of want to meet up, hang out, see where
it goes, maybe hook up and then you're kind of
hanging out. Is there a date ability?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, no, that's definitely how the world is now.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It's like a hookup culture.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
But yeah, I do go on dates. You just have
to kind of meet all of my standards and then
I'll go out on a date with you.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
But why in the world are the standards.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
In all that type of stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
What are the standards?
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I don't know. Just like there's a lot of guys
in my college that like hate their parents. I don't
know what that's about, but guys are just really rude
to their parents that bothers me a lot, or just
rude to other females, Like some girls will be like, oh,
he shouldn't be opening the door for a girl or
driving a girl, like say she's drunk because she has
no way to get home, she shouldn't he shouldn't be
driving her home. But I don't know. Those standards to
(03:26):
me are like, you're a good person.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I agree with you. A lot of those standards come
from the from the young women, though, who are like
I'm independent, I can hold my own door, I can
drive myself, which doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room
for the guys to sort of step up and be
the man you know.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Right, I definitely believe in like like I'm a very
independent person, but also I'm a female and you're a male,
and you have certain requirements as I have certain requirements
in a relationship, like you opening the door for me
is the bare minimum, or if we go out and
we're splitting the check. I don't know, that's just weird
to me, Like that's not how I grew up.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You need he wants your thank you more than he
wants your forty bucks. Trust me, right now. You you
grew up in Iowa, right, yes, and you ended up
at Arizona State. So I hope you're not offended by
this term. We defined uh this on our last podcast.
I believe the clinical term is is hot chick? Your
hot chick? You went. You chose the school with probably
(04:22):
the most hot chicks in the country. Was that intentional
or did you realize that when you got there?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
No, I always knew.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I mean, my mom used to live in Phoenix, so
I always knew there was and she's pretty hot my
mom is, so I always knew there was hot females
in Arizona. So I thought I'd just fit in there, not.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Like my own horn.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
But I was not a fish out of water.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I'm more of a like a Phoenix girl than I
would ever be a one and Iowa girl. So but
that wasn't the intention when going there, because there's so
many pretty girls.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
But I just fit in more with that crowd than.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I do I will, and there are I mean, I
used to say the first time I discovered her, I
went to Irish Catholic College in the North and by
the time I discovered Arizona State, I'm like I would
have failed out here in about three weeks because I
would have been so distracted. But when you're there. It
does make it competitive, and it does mean that the
guys have choices, and it does sometimes mean that maybe
(05:15):
they don't have to step up their behavior because if like, oh,
Shay won't go out with me, well she'll go out
with me, and then somebody else will go out with me,
and that is that does make it a little bit harder.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
No, it definitely does, and like it can kind of
make you feel insecure at times when you go out
to the bar and you see this girl with big
fake booths and these big fake lips and she's just
like there's long, beautiful brown hair. Like it's definitely intimidating
at times. But then I always think about, like, there's
a guy out there that wants me for me and
who I am. And so a lot of these girls
at colleges are pretty easy, and that's what guys are
(05:45):
looking for is a fun time, not a long time.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
So I don't really want them anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
If they're gonna have multiple options, I'm like, all right, Yeah,
she's pretty.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
She school go for it.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, you must have a fake ID.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
Four.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
How hard is it to get a fake ID these days?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Oh? Not hard at all. There's like people that post
on Snapchat stories and they're like, hey, selling fake IDs.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Let me know if you need one.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So I guess the technology, the technology to make them
is ahead of the technology to detect them. I suppose
that's right. Yes, now, knowing that you're again, you're a
lot more than attractive, So don't take this the wrong way.
You're very blonde. You know though, and I've said this
to a lot of our guests, that every guy will
(06:30):
probably want to go out with you once. I'm not
saying every guy go out with you twice because you
might not connect and he might not like you whatever,
but you know pretty much that you have the chance
to go out with a lot of guys. That means
that every single date might not feel as special or
unique or an opportunity because you know it's not going
to be the last opportunity you get this year. That
(06:50):
is the challenge to kind of work through that awkward
ick that you might feel in that you know, first
twenty minutes or first hour and been like and not
onto the next where somebody who thinks, yeah, I might
not get asked to gown out again. The advantage that
they have is they're willing to work through that does
that make sense?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah? It does.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Also for me, icks are a big thing, Like I
get the ick really super easily.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
And then I can't look at the person.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Again because I'm like you, I can only envision you
doing that, and then I just lose interest automatically. Like
it's hard for me to like someone, but when I
like someone, I really like them, and then I just
overthink and should go south.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
But give me an example of of what Mike you
do ick Like he's got nachos in his teeth, Like
what is the ick?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
No? Like one time I was playing beer pong and
the uh ping pong ball like rolled across the floor
and he started chasing after.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
It, And that really grows from me out like a puppy,
Like he was like chasing it kept rolling away from
him because someone would kick it or like whatever, just
kept rolling away and he was like on the ground.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
That's like a rom com. That's kind of like sweet,
That's like something out on Adam Sandler movie.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Do you think I want something kind of an Adid
Standler movie.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Probably not. That's a pretty good point. So if he
had like snagged it with one hand, he's still dating you.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, if he like caught it. I was like, cool
about it.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Then, Yeah, gotta step up your beer pong skills. Boys, Right,
what are you in a sorority or you're not in
a sorority?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
I didn't see a point.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I'm a pretty social human being and it's not hard
for me.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
To go out and meet new people.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
And I'm not paying seventeen hundred a semester for that.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, and I'm sure your mom doesn't want to hear
that other bluss. You got to buy the dresses, you
gotta go all the stuff, you gotta do all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, And I travel a lot.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
And if you miss like a chapter meeting or whatever
sisterhood event and you're paying five hundred dollars, So.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
No, not for me.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
How do you determine guys that are like what is
your screening process to guys who are looking for sex
or looking for love or looking for date? Like, how
do you how do you sort through that? Because guys
can say a lot of things, Well.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I will always I'll never go for freshmen or sophomores
because freshmen, you know, they just got there and they're
trying to have a good time and experimenting with everything possible,
and sophomores are kind of the same way, but juniors
and seniors they've kind of already gotten that out of
the way and they're ready to actually settle down and
look for a wife or a relationship. But also just
(09:21):
the way like if you're out partying every night and
going to these frat part like you see it, you'll
see it. At frat parties, they're making out with ten
different girls or like pulling someone to the bathroom and
then they come out looking like they just did something
no one wants to know about. So I don't know.
I mean, all frat guys had their time or are
having their time, so you just kind of have to
(09:41):
wait it out. If you really like a person, you
just wait for them to get over it.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
That's a good point though, but the challenges a senior
at Arizona State has four classes of girls to choose from.
Generally where the freshman sophomore guys, they're kind of stuck
dealing with the freshman sophomore again, everything the numbers game,
but you have to just pick one.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I guess, yeah, I do you just put that into perspective.
I didn't yeh, Sorry, I didn't think about that, did you
Thanks for adding that.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
What are you majoring in? Do you know that yet?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Communication and journalism with a minor in business and entrepreneurship.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Oh wow, good for you. Isn't the Kronkite School there
at Arizona State in good for you? How do you
balance academics with your fun? Obviously you're there to get
an education, Obviously you have ambition and all that, but
it is a playground of opportunities there to have fun.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, I I'll set like goals for myself. So if
I go to class and I have like a math test,
for example, I have to study for at.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Least three hours before I can go and do anything.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Or like if I have an assignment, do I have
to get that done before I can even start getting
ready to go out. So then I put myself to
work so that I can go and have fun.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
But you also travel a lot, you do modeling, gigs
and stuff. How do you how do you balance that?
Speaker 1 (11:02):
They're pretty flexible with that. There's certain classes where like
attendance is mandatory, you can.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Only miss four classes.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
But I have two doctors as parents, and they know
how to write doctors notes pretty well.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
So that's been useful.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
But yeah, I also have a lot of online classes
because of the traveling I do and like I'm filming
a movie and spring, so I have literally all online classes.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
How do the schools this is not a love dating
relationship thing, this is an academic thing. How does schools
prevent you from having like AI write your papers because
AI grades papers.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Now they can't.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I've had friends like, I'm really good at English, so
I'll write all of my own English papers and I
got accused of using AI, but there was no AI
in it. But my friend wrote a twenty page essay
all on AI. Didn't write a single thing of her
own aside from the references, and she put it in
a paraphraser and it never showed up as AI.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
I mean, that is loophole. But again, they the professors
are using AI for everything. There are people though, on
dating apps they're using AI. There are people that are
texting using AI. Like, eventually you have got to develop
a personality or this person's gonna find you out right.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah, that's another reason why. Like when we're writing research papers. Again,
I'm a really good writer for whatever reason, and I'm
very like, I don't know when it comes to writing.
I write very educational, like I'm trying to teach someone.
And that's why they thought it was AI, because AI
doesn't have any personality at all. They just are educational
(12:34):
and they're writing for education when you do that. So yeah,
I got pulled into the dean's office and they went.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Through my computer.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Oh really, that seems invasive.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Well, it definitely was, but also like it never came
up as AI in the detector, like I was green
in the detector. He just did that because it sounded
like like what freshman girl is writing twenty five pages
when she was supposed to write fifteen. Yeah, but I
mean I get it at a certain point. But they
literally went through my like wiped my whole computer of everything.
(13:09):
Chat GBT she's the Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I was an English major too, and I'm a good writer,
and I hate that people are able to write things
that are at least a reasonable facsimile of the way
I would write by using AI. And I feel like
my my most valuable skill set is out so sad
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Really matter anymore when you can just have a computer
do it for you.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I know, all right, I'm gonna take a quick break
because we got to pay for things like AI around here.
I'm here with Shay Smollick. We're going to talk about
her podcast and all the shenanigans she's getting into. We
will be back right after this, and we are back.
Okay the After Party Files. Explain the philosophy behind it
(13:53):
and explain what you're getting into on it.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, So I've I'm a great talker and I love talking.
That's a trait in my family that no one else has.
So my mom was like, when I was around fifteen,
She's like, why don't you start a podcast? But I
didn't know what to talk about. I was fifteen years old.
There was nothing for me to talk about. And then
I went into like I got accepted to Arizona State,
(14:16):
and everyone knows Arizona States is big party school. Everyone's drinking.
So I decided to obviously reach out to you guys
and we figured it out and it's about everything college life, hookups, dating, drinking, parties,
everything like that, and.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
It's a lot of fun to do.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
You've had some few influencers on there, though, some girls
from other schools. And is that a small community? Is
that a just a giant community? How do you differentiate
yourself from just another girl posting on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Yeah, you kind of all have your niche. Like my
niche is looking hot and posting about college.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
That's a pretty big niche.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That's my nie.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah yeah right.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
But you know, like I have a friend who I
was on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Her name's Ainsley.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
She has four point five million on TikTok and the
reason she does is because she posted like point of
views like acting TikTok's basically during COVID and that just
blew her up, and you know, she became this big
thing or like, it's just like about your niche and
you have to make it your niche for really long
time to actually grow.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Do you have? Is that somebody you want to emulate?
Is that? Is there somebody in Hollywood you want to
emily because obviously you act too. Is there somebody like,
oh that's who the career I want is?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I don't know, I mean I would Margot Robbie is
up there. She is an incredible actor. She can do
everything basically, but also like Zendaya, Zendaya is literally like
a triple threat. She can do everything. And that's what
I'm a very busy body, so I love doing trying
new things and going out of my way to get
the best at every thing. I'm very much a perfectionist.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So do you sing? Do you sing?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
I do?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
All right? Well, there you go. You try, you develop skills,
you know, and you can write too. I always tell
people who are aspiring to be in show business because
this is what I've done for a long time. Create
your own material, create your own break, create your own product,
create your own productions, you know, write your one woman show.
Show people what you can do.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
You know. Yeah, we are actually in the middle of producing.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Our own movie. You mean, my mom, are so good
for you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
How does your mom balance being a mom? Oh my god,
my daughter is out there in a bikini in college
versus she's your mom, Like, how do you how does
she balance that? Maybe I should ask her that I'm
asking you that what the what are the sort of
the ground rules that she gives you? Because obviously it's
it's it's exciting, but it's also scary and a lot
of people are noticing you. A lot of people are
looking you, And the more notoriety that you you have,
(16:55):
the more creepinesses in your world.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Like, I don't know, well, I've been modeling and acting
and singing since I was seven, so I've kind of
grew up in this world. And I started doing runway
shows and bikinis at like fourteen. So going to Arizona
State that was actually one of the schools she wanted
me to go to. But also everything's an opportunity to
grow and she knows that.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
But she also is more on the stricter side.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
So when I'm in like a thong bikini at a
frat party, She's like, all right, cover up maybe, but
also I'm not a bad child.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
When I'm in a thong bikini at a frat party,
that's twenty twenty five for you.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Well, I mean it's like one hundred and twenty degrees.
I think I'd rather be in a bikini than in
shorts and a tiny tank top.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I suppose, Yeah, I mean I don't. I don't run
into these problems like you do. But that's a challenge.
That's a challenge of going to Arizona State. Yeah, well,
now how do you do that? Knowing that you are
at best, at worst a distraction and at best you
you were in a frat party, Like obviously every guy's
going to want to talk to you. Obviously every guy's
going to hit on you. How do you kind of
(18:01):
maintain your own space discipline? Do you know? I don't know.
It's hard.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Well, while everyone is drunk, I don't drink.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I'm DD most of the times.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Like They'll be special occasions where I go out and
drink if it's like at a restaurant or whatever, but
I won't drink at bars or frat parties, and if
I do, what's one drink. The reason for that is
because I don't trust frat men and I don't trust females.
Frat men can do anything when you're not looking, and
that scares me because my friend got roofied and she
has no.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Idea what happened to her.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
So after that, I was like, yeah, I'm not doing that. So,
you know, me taking care of my friends and being
mom of the group has really helped me because while
my friends are doing stupid stuff, I'm not. I can
I know my surroundings, I know who I'm talking to,
I know who not to talk.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
To and what not to do.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
How do you trust?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
You know?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I would say that one of the most underrated factors
of being any age as a woman is sort of
what I call girl on girl crime. Girls are not
always your best friends. Girls are not always want your
best interests, especially in the circles that I imagine you're
traveling in and imagine the guys that are around you.
How do you kind of know who's a true sister
and who's not.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Yeah, I keep a very small friend group. My roommate
is one of my close friends, and then my roommate
next year will be one of my close friends. But
it takes me a long time to trust people because
growing up in the industry that I was in in
small town Iowa, I had my best friends telling me
to do things that no one should ever do, and
(19:31):
you know, bully me. So it takes me a really
long time to actually trust someone. But once it gets
to that point, I can trust you. But also like,
it's just the little things like say I was drunk,
would I trust you to get me home safely? Or
if I was sick? What could I trust you to
bring me orra introduce or whatever it is. It's the
little things that get to me.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Were you a pageant girl?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Yeah? How did you know that.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Kind of the I don't know the discipline of it,
And you know, people make fun of the pageants circuit.
But the pageant circuit does teach you a lot of things.
Teach us about competition, It teaches you about skill sets,
It teaches you presentation, teaches you present yourself. This is
not an insult as a pageant girl, and I have
a lot of respect for the pageant's circuit. What did
you do?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Yeah, so I was in. I'm looking at the crown
and stuff there right now, but I was in. I
was seven, When I'm six or seven, I only did
one and it was called National American Miss, and I
won Princess Miss Iowa. And then I went on to
the national level and won the National American Miss Princess
from Iowa. Who's no one from Iowa's ever won it.
(20:38):
But that was a very all It wasn't toddlers into
yours at all.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
My parents would never do that.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
It wasn't John Benay, No, it was.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Not John Vana Riansy.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
But yeah, no, it was all natural. It was. It
was a lot of fun and it gave me obviously
every skill asset I've had, because I know how to
interview and I know how to do public speaking, and my.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
Confidence is through the roof.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
So I'm very grateful I did it, and people made
fun of me all throughout high school.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
I've always been a huge advocate. Like I said, life's
all about competition, at least at least in the pageant world.
You know what the rules are, and you have skill set,
ours and is presentation and it is all that. Now,
how come you stop doing it? Then?
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Well, because I didn't want to. I wasn't going to
go on to do like the big like teen USA.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
But I just became really busy.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I moved to California for acting, and I didn't really
have time anymore because I was traveling so much, and
I didn't have time to get coached. So I decided
to stop doing it, and then I started working for
National American Myths.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
It is expensive that world too. I mean, you do
have to have, you know, the coach person, you have
to have the eyelash person, you have to have a
presentation person. That is no joke, it is and and
this all of what you're trying to do is a
commitment for your parents and they have to be on
board with your choices. Is this an ongoing discussion or
(21:58):
is it, like, you know, I need you guys to
support me and this is what I want to do.
I mean, it's tough to balance that versus Shay, you
need to be a doctor.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Right, Yeah, No, they definitely gave me the freedom. For
a while, I wanted to be an OBGI in there,
and they supported me all throughout that decision. But then
it changed because now I want.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
To be a lawyer.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
But I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am
now if it weren't for my parents. They're very supportive
and if I ever changed my mind on anything, they
think of all the possibilities. They think of the negatives
and the positives, and we meet in the middle and
we think, Okay, what's the best option for me? But yeah,
they I you know, with my dad's money and my
mom's heart, we got far.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So there you go, with my dad's money and my
mom's heart. Put that in a bumper sticker. All right,
this is your first time on my podcast. We play
something called worst date or first date. So you either
have to tell us the worst date you've ever been
on or the very best first date you've been on.
Your choice.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
I can tell you the worst first date.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Okay, that's even better. That's a combo platter, the worst
first date. Okay, not don't give me the beer pong guy,
because that's not so bad. That's not so bad.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I won't Okay, So this is a little interesting. I
dated a twenty eight year old at the age of
eighteen last summer, and.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Interesting one way to put that.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, what was that?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Where do you find a twenty eight year old that's
dating an eighteen year old?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
My best friend was dating his younger brother and he
was really nice and he had money.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I thought, why not?
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Okay, fair enough, continue to fla.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
But anyways, we went to Flemings, which is a steakhouse,
sure you, And I'm allergic to a lot of things,
Like I'm allergic to twenty five things, and five of
them closed my throat Jesus speaking a Caesar salad and
it starts to taste funny and then I just blow up,
Like my face is I look like a pupper brush
(23:56):
and I can't breathe. So I'm sitting there at first
date with this guy, like drools coming out of my
mouth because I can't breathe. He has to call nine
one one and I.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Have to go to the hospital.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
That was That's that's his worst date. What did you eat?
What was in the caesar salad?
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I think it was peanut oil. I'm allergic to peanuts
really bad.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Because Flemings has some really good carrot cake. I hope
you get involved in that. What what? So do you
have to You have to just trust. That's the problem
with people who have allergies, because I've run I've been
on dates that they've done this and they're like, is
there any you know, peanuts in this? And the waiter's
like no, And I'm like, you trust you could die
here and you're just trying somebody who just started here
at a cheesecake factory to give you the honest thing.
(24:38):
That's risky, right.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah. I also didn't think there would be like anything
I'm allergic to on a caesar salad.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
You're a twenty five things. You gotta throw a dart
and it's something you're allergic to.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
That is true.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But this is also the one time I didn't have
my EpiPen. I usually carryed it, carry it in that
purse right there, right, And I had a different purse
because that one didn't match my outfit. And I was like, oh,
I won't.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Need my priorities.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, right, And I did meet my epipenh.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
One of my first girlfriend, my first girlfriend I ever had.
Every time we would kiss, I would get sick and
I couldn't figure I was nervous or whatever. I was
allergic to whatever her cheap lip gloss was. When she
was seventeen years old. Like, we could figure it out.
Like every time we would make out a little, I
(25:24):
would end up like throwing up, and I'm like, is
this with it? This is not the proper reaction. We
figured it out that she had some very cheap Uh.
I guess it was lip gloss. And how's the answer
to that? So wait, So what happened that? That's the
guy sounds very sweet? He took you to the emergency room.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Oh he was not sweet.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh well, all right.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
To Miami for we stayed together after that. He did
stay with me after seeing look like a popper fish,
which was good of him. But I went to Miami
for three days and he had sex with another girl.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
So that's a shitty date. Yeah, how'd you find that out?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Well, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
Well, my intuition originally told me they were both in
a relationship at the time. She was in a relationship
of like three years he was in a relationship with
me and they were hanging out. They were pregaming to
go to the bar, and it was very odd because
my best friend at the time, who set me up
with this guy, was also trying to set this other
chick up with my boyfriend. Yeah, it worked, and about
(26:32):
two weeks later I found out they went to the
Ozarks a week before all of this happened before I
went to Miami, and they also had sex there. So
I was being lied to by my boyfriend and my
best friend and I'm not really friends with her.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Anymore, nor should you be nor him. Takes a while
for boys to grow up, takes a while for girls, scrol.
I know you want to find the one and settle
down and all that. Be patient. Yeah, I know you
won't know who you are at twenty five. You're certainly
not gonna know who they.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Are, are, right, Yeah. It just sucks because I'm a
lover girl at heart, and like, I want a relationship
so bad, but anytime I'm talking to someone, they always
prove me wrong, Like why I shouldn't be in a relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I know, but it only takes one and you always
hope that's the last one. Yes, how long have your
parents been married?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Thirty five years?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
That's a good example, right, yeah, all right, well find
what they have.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
They are both second marriages.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Okay, well, then pay attention to that too. All right,
you were great. This was great. I learned a lot.
And stay away from the other hot chicks. They're rough.
Tell everybody how they can find you, your podcast, your socials,
all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah. So my Instagram and my TikTok are Chase smull like.
My YouTube is also Shay moll like. You can follow
the after Party Files on Instagram at the after Party Files,
and you can watch them on any platform you watch
your podcast on.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
All right, this is fun as far as us like share, follow.
Please review this podcast and the after Party Files. Your
reviews mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem. After five
hundred episodes, we still care about your five star review.
Click five stars. We give you free content to that.
Shoot me an email Great Loved Debate at gmail dot
com if you've got questions, thoughts, comments you want to
(28:17):
ask out Shay. You can't ask her out if you're
twenty eight, though, I will not allow it because, as
always at The Great Love Debate, we never stopped making love.
See you next time. The Great Love Debate. It's the
great love debate. Great love debate. It's a great love debate.
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