Please mind the bike lane, Johnjay.

+ Never leave the house without scissors.

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
Wake you as up, John Jayand Rich. What's cracker like? And
this is the big bulls do snoopydeagle, double jig, little dang boom
what you don't do. We're nottalking about Rich ten team. We're not
talking about last sear. It's theone and only dough Y the last Day's
last They big smooth eagle, doublejib in your face to me and in
the place to be. And you'relistening to John Jay and Rich. Wake

(00:24):
you as one O four seven kissf M John Jay and Rich Monday,
April twenty second, twenty twenty four. Our phone numbers eight seven seven nine
three seven one O four seven eightseven seven nine three seven one O four
seven calls right now, jump onthere with us. I'm going through this
thing right now because you have been. I've told you guys, got like.
I'm doing a lot of therapy andyou know, trying to be a

(00:45):
better person. Uh. And somy wife started calling me John j two
point zero because I've been like justthis weekend, let me tell you what
I did. I went to ababy's couple shower, Oh you poor man.
And then I went to a dinnerparty. I've never been to a
dinner party ever, and so itwas so grown up. It was like
wine and stuff. You know.I didn't drink any of it, and

(01:06):
then I wanted seconds and I couldn't. I kept joking about it, and
apparently there wasn't any or something.He was style, no, no,
actually, check this out. Iwent to his friend's house and they had
a chef make all the food,and then they bring the food out and
they tell you what it is andyou eat it. And then I wanted
more and I would be like,hey, man, is there more of
the Rabbi? And then they laughand they wouldn't bring out more. I'm

(01:30):
sort of sad. Well, I'lltell you this. So get this.
The guy who had the chef athis house, I'm sitting there at this
dinner party. We're all talking.We started talking about the TV show.
My wife knows like two shows,actually one show, Selling Sunset. She
knows everything about Selling Sunset that we'vetalked about it here before, right,
and Selling Sunset comes up at thedinner table, and the husband of that

(01:53):
that's running the thing, his nameis Aaron, says his wife wouldn't let
him watch Selling Sunset because the womenwere too attractive. What yeah, And
I was like, that is sobizarre, like why, like, how
was he going to somehow be like, hey man, I'm buying a house
in La I don't know hun startworking there. I actually asked him,

(02:15):
I said, can I bring thatup on the radio show because I find
that so weird? And then hegoes, well, eventually she let me
watch it, so now I canwatch it now. But I don't know
I know why. I think maybeyou might equate that to maybe like somebody
to not letting you follow somebody onInstagram because they're too hot and they dressed
too I think that that's more seriousbecause you could contact that person. I

(02:36):
guess that's true. But you can'twatch Long Sunset and go Crishell. Yeah,
I don't. I can't even likewrap my brain around an excuse for
it, Like, right, it'sjust a TV show unless the guy has
some weird fetish with real like realtorsor something. He's got a real or
fetish, and then maybe maybe Ican see that. I don't know though,
but the baby shower was so likeI just didn't understand why I was

(02:58):
there or why any guy was there. A couple I've been protesting that for
years. On the come up,I feel like, okay, but why
not, Like it's the guy andthe girl that it's having the baby together,
right, so why not all celefree together what you're protesting? I
just didn't. It was a verynice couple of very good, great people,
but I just was like, whatam I doing here? First?
Baby? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I guess that's fine. Yeah,

(03:21):
yeah, So they get this.So on Saturday morning, my wife and
I went on a bike ride togo get coffee, and we usually played
like backgammon or something like that,and I didn't realize that I could refill
my coffee. So I was allexcited and I go, look, I
could refill my coffee. And Ialready had a coffee, right, so
was fine. But I'm riding abike now and I don't have a cup
holder. So I'm holding my coffeewith my left hand and I'm holding the

(03:43):
handlebars with my right hand. Hipstermovie, and I'm riding my bike with
my coffee. Right, I'm ridingmy bike. I'm kind of I got
control, but I'm still kind ofzig zagging a little bit, and I'm
on the sidewalk and it's it's thesidewalk for bikes and people. And I
get off the sidewalk and it's afour way stop sign and I'm really slow.
I slow, slow, slow,And there's a guy on a bike,
like a cyclist you know, thosekinds of outfit, the whole get

(04:05):
up. Yeah, you know whatI'm talking about. Right, So he
comes and he doesn't stop with thefroway stop sign at all. He's going
like whosh and he makes his turnright, and I'm now I go,
whoa, sorry, right, andI look and right when I said that,
I'm now in the middle of hundredsof them, do you know what
I mean? Like he was theand all of a sudden, it's like

(04:28):
kill what. I'm like, whoa, whoa? And I got my coffee
and I'm like whoa, whoa,and I'm examining these people. And I
make it through and then Blake,my wife she shows up behind me.
She goes, you almost caused afifteen pile up over those with those bikes.
And I'm like, they didn't stop, you know what I mean,
it was a four way stop sign. They didn't stop. But I'm like,
screw those guys. Yeah, they'reno, they're no jokes. So
pissed. I got so pissed becauseit was like jerk. They kept calling

(04:53):
me all these names. I'm liketelling you to get out of the way,
right right, They're not following therules of the road, and it
was there was like, I'm notkidding, but I told you a hundred
of these guys. You know they'retraveling back. Yes they do. They're
like dang vicious people. Thank you, thank you anyway, so that I
should have read that after him,although you know they got more stamina.

(05:15):
I'm on a big beach cruiser thatI had without a day. They must
look down the casual cycles. Icalled them a name and they start chasing
after me. Just throw my coffeedown and take off going. It was
crazy. They're all aerodynamic a holes. So that's what happened to me this
weekend. But I highly recommend thedinner party. It was fun and made
me want to do the thing whereI was like, you know, at

(05:38):
the moment I get caught up,we'll do this again in my house one
of those, but then I don'twant to do it in my house.
I agreed to this dinner party inDecember. That's a long time. Yeah,
So you were like sounds great,but then the weekend of you're like,
oh you're God, Oh you're goodpeople. I was like that with
a couple of showers, like whyam I? What are we doing this?
Then I had went to the charityevent yesterday and I was kind of
like why did I agree to dothis? But everything turned out okay,

(06:00):
yeah, except now I have togo to a private church in someone's backyard
for two hours. What have yesterday? We sat this table this charity event.
Blake starts talking to these women andthen we get home. She goes,
we got invited to so and so'shouse. They have a church in
their backyard. It's a it's ahealing service, and it's two hours on
secre to mile and I'm like wow, originally taking this John J two point

(06:23):
zero a little too much, shouldsay no, thank you. The House
of Representatives overwhelmingly passed a provision fora potential TikTok ban. It was part
of a ninety five billion dollar seriesof like foreign aid packages. The bill
would impose sanctions on Iran and requireTikTok to divest from its Chinese parent company,

(06:46):
which means you have you to sellit to an American company, or
just not be in America anymore period. President Biden is already indicated he would
sign the bill in a lot ifit passes through Congress, but they just
don't know if there's enough supporting.Senate just yet got to go through the
check and balances before it actually becomesthe law. So TikTok's like, okay,
enjoy it, well you can becauseit might be going. So what

(07:06):
happens if they bann it? Doesit just disappear from our phones? Or
do we just have a banned app? I don't know, only I've never
been around for anything like that happening. Yeah. Yeah, I'm guessing it
wouldn't be allowed on any of theapp stores anymore, and it would be
disabled on your phones, that's myguess. Apple is finally unlocking airplay technology

(07:28):
in some hotel rooms so you canfeel more at home when you're away.
So far, it's just like holidayin Candlewood Suites Avid Hotels. But Apple
did say we're gonna add more locationsthroughout the year. We hear you complaining,
We hear that this is something youwant, so we're gonna make it
happen. What is it? Idon't get it so I guess, like
you know, in hotels now there'slike Netflix, you can sign into your

(07:48):
Netflix all Now they're at least unleashingthe technology so you can do your airplay
in your hotel rooms too, soyou can bring so you don't need to
bring your Bluetooth speaker because it couldbe on the TV speaker you're watching your
phone go throwing on the TV.A recent study found attractive female faces make
men behave more. Honestly, theysaid, these results align with the beauty

(08:09):
premium theory, where basically we relatepositive moral judgments about beautiful people. We
just automatically think that the beautiful peoplehave great hearts and they're so super nice.
You like an ugly person all daygood. I'm like, that's interesting,
okay, And that's three things youneed to know. Are we get

(08:30):
the Peyton's predictions? What's the vibetoday? Peyton Taylor Swift dropped her eleventh
studio album last week. So I'mgonna tell you which of the Tortured Poets
Departments song you are based off yourzodiac side. So one of the ways
you get hold of us you can'tget through is a talkback feature on the
on the iHeart app. You justtap the microphone, tells your name.
Be great. He tells your name, where you call it from, and
your sign. The peyton can readit for you. Simple way to do

(08:54):
that talkback feature. In the meantime, Brittany, good morning. You're on
the air, Brittany saying just likerich okay for my pisces. While everyone
labels you guys a little bit ofa bad boy, you guys tend to
be drawn to the emotional, unavailable, and charming types of people. So

(09:20):
when you encounter someone who's seens youbeyond your cool kind of guy exterior,
You guys definitely resonate with the songFlorida off of this album How You Missed
Me and the black Dog with someone. Yeah, that might have been on
me black Dog or Florida either wayfor you guys, that's the one with

(09:43):
Florence. Yeah, Florence is theMachine. Yeah that's a great song.
Yeah, lots of cussing in thatsong, So you just played the wrong
song. Yeah. Black Dog isthe one where she's like talking about like
he left his location on and she'sseeing him at the bar and stuff like
that. We're going black Dog today, Okay, Okay, then we're okay,
and you don't miss me in theBlack Dog with someone the starting letting

(10:07):
you jump up. She's too youngto Okay, there you go, Brittany,
black Dog, have a great dayNovember. The tourists, good morning,
good morning, tour season. Okay, Black Society, let's go.
Yeah, we are in tourist season. So, Taurus, you are familiar
with how love can resemble all consumingflames. So you guys relish the chase

(10:31):
in the thrill of the game andnew romances. So even though you project
at cool exterior, so when youfollow, you guys fall hard and heartbreak
can prove especially challenging for you.So that's why the title song, the
Tortured Poets Department is made for you. You lift your type brother in my
Apartment, straight from the sort Pet'sthe Apartment. Okay, like that,

(11:01):
you gotta go re listen to thealbum November. That's the first one ever
ever, quietly protests at Day.How about for Libra for Kyle? Yes,
Kyle, I was really excited tosee this one for you. You
guys are sociable and charming and libras. Do you guys know how to turn
on the flirtation? And make theright things to make someone's heart skip a

(11:22):
beat. So you're usually the onethat's calling the shots in a relationship,
which is why it can be alittle bit of a surprise when you find
yourself smitten with someone else. Soif you're currently head over heels and not
a loss for what to do,you guys need to listen to L O
M L Love of My Life fromthe Torture Poets Department The Loss of Life?

(11:48):
Is it loss of my life orlove of mine? He says,
you're the loss of my life atthe end, but then she says,
you told me I was the loveof your life a million times and you
like that song, don't you?I do like that song since she talking
about that Joe Alwin guy, Sowas she talking about so she's calling him
the loss of her life? Yeah, dag, I mean that's probably how
she was feeling at the time.They dated for six years, I know,

(12:09):
but I would think now that ifit wasn't for that, you wouldn't
be where you are now. Stillgot to write the song, though I
was kind of hoping for I cando this with a broken heart or that's
so little old me. Those aremy two faves right now after listening to
the album more and more, thoseare my two faves right now. But
I love my life to you.I like that too because I like to
be a lover. Yeah, whatabout for you for the Leo Peyton,

(12:30):
Yeah for Leo's Leo's We burn hotand bright, just like the sign.
So when it comes to the datinggame, we're not really going to settle
for anything less than the best.We show confidence in who we are and
we look for a partner with thatmuch charm as well. So the lyrics
and Clara Bell from the Tortured Poet'sApartment reflect you, guys perfectly. You
look, look Clara Ba and thislife remarkable. It's a pretty song.

(12:58):
Okay, so we got to talk. This is uh. You should leave
us your name, your sign,where you're calling from, we can do
your horsecope. Good morning. Myname is Marie and I'm coming from Silver
City, New Mexico, and iam an aries oh in two days my
birthday. Love you guys, it'sall good. Aries. We're known for

(13:18):
or you guys are known for beingspirited and a passionate lover. Your tendency
to dive headfirst into matters of theheart often leads to intense relationships that either
burn brightly or leave you guys feelingexhausted. To your resilience shines through.
So the song that will hit you, guys the most from the Tortured Poet's
Department is Fresh out the Slammer,Fresh out the Slammer. US call too

(13:43):
fresh of the Slammer. I likethat one too. That's a good one
for Virgo virgos despite not always havingthe best luck and love and never stops
you, guys from trying. Soyou're slow to fall in love and you
guard your heart very closely and asa result, building a connection can take
some time, but when you finallyopen up, it feels like absolute perfection.
So the song I Can Fix Himquote No, I really can from

(14:05):
the Torched Poets Department reflects on hownobody is perfect in love. Good pig,
I can fix him. Very nice. We to get to your sign.
They're all posted on our website,John Jay and Rich dot com.

(14:26):
Now get this prize or given away. This is incredible. We're giving you
a chance to see Taylor Swift inMiami with floor seats and official merchandise and
an autograph guitar that prize is ridiculoushuge. That is an unbelievable prize.
That's listening to Kiss on the iHeartRadioapp or here to us right now and

(14:48):
you can win. It's incredible.And speaking of here's Taylor Swift, John
Jay and Richelle to four sething Kiss. I have an idea for the show.
Today's your day. Use the iHeartRadioapp and talk back to us right
now. It's John Jay and WrenOh four seven Kiss FF, John j
Rich, Jessica, Jessica, goodmorning. What happened? So yesterday I
was on my way to work andthis is in the West Valley area of

(15:11):
Phoenix, uh huh, And itwas like sixth in the morning, and
this guy was in front of meon a motorcycle. The person in front
of him slammed on their brakes andI saw him like fishtail on the bike
and he fell off. I sawthe sparks and everything, and he was
aiming for my car, like undermy car. So I swerved out of
the way. And I'm not evenplaying with you. He was probably a

(15:35):
foot away from my car. Ohmy god. And then the car behind
me like I looked at my rearview mirror because I was so scared that
the car behind me was gonna pushme into him. So the car behind
me didn't know why I braked sohard, so they tried to go around
me, and he was like rightin between the lanes. He almost like
got run over a second time.I ran out there. I cut his

(16:00):
close off and everything because I wasan EMT, so I kind of just
like went into action and trying tostabilize him until paramedics got there. And
luckily he was like talking still,and you know, once I got him
to calm down a little bit,he was definitely talking to me and like
it took three minutes, but itall happened in like three seconds. Oh

(16:21):
wow, So the trauma made everythingslow down, so your reaction time was
right, yes, And in myhead all I could hear was like the
longest, deepest prayer to God,like the deepest plead to God, asking
not to let this man go undermy car, like don't let me run
him over. And I could hearit in my head, but out loud,

(16:42):
I was just like no, no, no, no, no,
like that's all I kept saying.It was just the craziest experience I had
ever had. Okay, a coupleof things I've learned from this phone call
with you. A couple of thingswant to go over. First of all,
one, did you have to havea dashboard cam so you got the
whole thing on camera, so weget you know, said get a video,
go viral, which is more important? Oh, oh my god.
And I asked the guy too,I said, were you recording any of

(17:03):
this? Because he didn't know inthe beginning of what happened. He's like,
no, I don't, so no, like none of it got recorded,
So okay. Well, the otherthing I've learned from this is that
whatever I'm in any kind of situationwith any other person, I'm going to
cut their clothes off. Yeah,what about that? What did you have
to cut their clothes off with?Oh my god, this person's getting out
of the car cut their clothes off. So I didn't have like any of

(17:27):
my scissors or my things with me, and so I asked, I said,
does anybody have some scissors? Andthe girl that stopped she's like,
why have a knife. And luckilythe motorist he's like, I have scissors
in my backpack. And he waslike telling me that it hurt and it
burned so I needed to see likeif he was bleeding anywhere, and he
had scissors in his backpack. SoI just I don't know how, but

(17:51):
those scissors had some power behind itand just a regular like kitchen scissors cut
off his clothes. Wow. Youhave crazy story, Jessica. You'll see
that in your head for the restof your life. Thank you so much
for calling us and listening and sharingthat story with us. Absolutely, I'm
cutting Rich's clothes off right now asyou at the left place right there.
Wow, as you should. It'salmost Friday. All right, God blessed,

(18:15):
Jessica. Bye. It's John Jayand rich On one O four to
seven. Kiss at John Jay oneO four seven, Kiss that John Jay
and rich Lee Lee, Good morning, Good morning. What's going on?
It is my forty fourth birthday today. I'm calling from Rapid City, South
Dakota. Me birthday, yay.So I wanted to call you guys.

(18:38):
I gonna look you guys for seventeenblush years and I absolutely love your show,
super excited. So but yeah,if you're ever in Rapid City where
Mount Rushmore is and crazy horses andwhatnot, gotta tell you didn't know that's
where my worshmore was I thought Iwas in watching it. I thought the
White House. Honestly, I thoughtyou a white house in the South Dakota
and the Black Hills. No ideahad no idea. Okay, So then

(18:59):
why don't we do a special horoscopefor you since today? What was the
vibe today? Earlier? Well,I was telling you which song you are
off of The Tortured Poets Department TaylorSwiss eleventh studio album. Okay, and
if it's your birthday today, you'rea Taurus, right Lee, Yes,
well, a Taurus. I'm gonnacuts. I'm a little bit of both.
Okay, let's do a combo ofboth that I'm a little bit of

(19:22):
fire and a little bit of subverness. Oh geez, yeah, I mean
that's pretty perfect for a Taurus.You know, they're bowls in air.
But let me tell you, Taurus, you guys are really familiar with how
love can kind of just consume you. You're all about the thrill of a
new game and a new experience.So there's a couple songs that hit for
you. And it's the title songthe Tortured Poets Department and Fresh Out the

(19:44):
Slammer from the tortured pot department.Those two go hand in hand left to
brother in my apartment. Yay,look at that. I just love you,
guys. I listened to you allthe time, and I just absolutely
love you guys. And my dogsfollowing me around John Jays, they know
I'm on the phone with you.Well, thank you so much for listening.

(20:07):
I have a wonderful day. Godbless, happy happy birth. Okay,
thank you you guys too. Thanks. All right, So we got
stacks and hacks, right, Ihave stax of information which has life hacks.
A Poule asked people if they everhad their parents follow through with washing
their mouth out? Was soap?Never happen to you, Peyton Kyle,
what's happened to me before you gotyour mouth washed out? Was soap?
Yeah? But it wasn't my momand my dad. It was my best
friend Kelsey's mom. She washed mymouth out? Was soap. I was

(20:29):
like thirteen, Kyle, happening toyou No Rich routinely at my babysitter,
Michelle Dupsky's house. Wow, becauseI learned the cuss word damn. And
I would start around as a fiveor six year old. Okay, so
there's four of us in the studio, fifty percent has had that happen to
us. Kylein I never had thathappen. I never had that happen.
I can still taste my mom wouldhit us with a slipper. That was
about it. Anyway. Twelve percentof people say yes, so if they
would have pulled to us in here. We should be more careful of babby

(20:56):
than jaws, because deer are muchmore deadly to Americas each year than shark,
alligators, bears, and venomous snakescombined. I can see that because
like a deer runs across the street. For example, there were two deaths
in the United States by shark attacksin twenty twenty three, two deaths.
There are fifty nine thousand deaths andinjuries from deers. Like WHOA, yeah,

(21:17):
I had a deer hit me,or I hit a deer in the
freeway. It's terrible. They're socute though. There's a big new survey
out on acceptable and unacceptable behaviors atrestaurants and some of the results are surprising.
Let me ask you this, isit acceptable to say you're not going
to pay for a dish it didn'tlike, but you ate no no,
okay. Most people say no.Allowing their children to roam freely is that

(21:40):
acceptable? No? No, no, most people say no. Debating menu
prices with the staff. No,you can actually do that. Snapping your
fingers to get the waiters attention.That's so rude. Bringing outside food or
drinks into a restaurant. I don'tknow. It depends, like you can
bring your water. I feel like. I feel like if you're at a
restaurant and one of those fast casualand there's one next door and your kids

(22:02):
want to eat there or something likethat, and you can bring it all.
Yeah, I think I think flirtingwith the staff is that acceptable?
Not? Really? Don't taking anextended period of time to decide what to
order? Kyle say it is acceptable. Asking to be seated before the entire

(22:23):
party arrives. Yes, I thinkthat's okay because they're coming and you're gonna
get apps and hang out anyway.Sending a dishback that wasn't made as specified,
Yes, that's okay. Ask youfor to go a container to take
leftovers home. Yeah, we're onthe same page. So another survey was
done. They asked people to namethe top three boyfriends. The top three

(22:45):
girlfriends from books. Now all threeof these, I don't know where books.
I thought there were movies. TheOutsiders is on their huh, Nope,
not Top three you talk about ponyBoy. Top three boyfriends Edward Calling
for Twilight's number three, Christian Grayfrom Fifty Shades of Gray's number two.
Noah Calhoun from The Notebook is numberone. Top three girlfriends Juliet from Romeo

(23:08):
and Juliet number three, Bella Swanfrom Twilight number two, and the best
girlfriend according to a book in thebooks is Anastasia from Fifty Shades of Gray.
All right, Richard, we gotfor life haacks. Guys know it's
Earth Day. Happy Earth Day,everybody. This is our planet, this
is our marble. And I've seenso many things that people say that you

(23:29):
have to do to save the planet. So I have broken down with experts
the easiest things to do to savethe planet, and one of these I
have not done at all, ButI'm going to start doing it. One
of them. Kyle, you're alreadyon the TLC tip of refilling your water
bottle instead of just buying plastic andthrowing it away. That's one of the
easiest things you can do. Turnoff your computers and appliances when they're not

(23:52):
in use. Don't throw away foodthat you can easily make into a leftover
by adding something to it, likeit gets something from a restaurant. Maybe
add a little rice, maybe acouple of vegetables or some eggs, and
you got yourself the next day.And the number one thing that you can
do, which I did not know, which I'm going to start doing,
is washing your clothes in cold waterinstead of hot water. I don't know
why that's a big deal, butI guess a hot water washing takes a

(24:15):
lot of energy and electricity or gasor whatever that you use, so you
can do that. We have manyof those things that you can do on
our website under life Acts at JohnJenrich dot com.