December 17, 2025 • 31 mins
Gary & Shannon kick things off with a deep-space mystery as 3I/ATLAS — a recently detected interstellar object — behaves in ways that don’t quite add up. Is it just a strange cosmic visitor, or is the internet getting ahead of itself with alien theories?
They’re then joined by The Dad Podcast host Justin Worsham to unpack the rise of “gentle parenting” — what it actually means, how it differs from authoritarian parenting, and why setting firm boundaries doesn’t require raising your voice. The conversation tackles the controversial question of whether a little discipline crosses into harm, or if that framing misses the point entirely.
The hour wraps with Gary embracing his role as a human population-census supercomputer, proving once again that useless facts can be extremely useful.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Gary and Shannon and you're listening to kf
I a M. Six forty, the Gary and Shannon Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
That's going to live on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
But if you missed our conversation with LAPD chief Jim MacDonald,
there's nice, There's there's a quality about him that is
just calm.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
He's very calming, and he is very humble and he
is No ego is what Jim McDonald brings, none whatsoever.
It is so rare, it is so rare.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
He's also very polished when he speaks, wicked smart speaking.
We did talk also about one of the news conferences
that he was in. Of course this week on Monday
was the news conference with the First Assistant US Attorney
announcing the the breakup of what was supposed to be
a terror plot a bombing of sites in LA and
(00:57):
Orange County on New Year's Eve, and we knew that
that there was a fifth arrest, one out in New Orleans.
More details have come in about Micah Legnon, a twenty
eight year old guy former marine charged with threats in
interstate commerce. Feder authorities said that they've been surveilling him
due to ties to this extremist anti capitalist group. We
(01:19):
told you about the Turtle Island Liberation Front. Four members
of that group were the ones that were arrested in
the Mojave Desert as they were rehearsing, plotting building, plotting
to set off bombs in LA and Orange Counties, but that
he was planning to carry out an attack in New Orleans.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Also, the remaining children who are not in jail for
murdering their parents of the Reiners have released a statement.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
At this hour. You read it, I can't read it, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Jake and Romey Reiner are their names. Words cannot even
begin to describe the unimaginable pain we're experiencing every moment
of the day. The horrific and devas dating loss of
our parents, Robin Michelle Reiner or something that no one
should ever experience. They weren't just our parents, they were
our best friends. We're grateful for the outpouring of condolences, kindness,
and support we've received, not only from our family and friends,
(02:13):
but from people from all walks of life. Please respect
our privacy, speculation to be tempered with compassion and humanity,
and for our parents to be remembered for the incredible
lives they lived and love they gave. That's not just
lip service. By the way, they weren't just our parents,
they were our best friends. From a lot of the
reports that this was a totally tight knit family, they
were all in the house all the time. The daughter
(02:35):
officially lived across the street from them. There was a
person working in Hollywood, a writer. I think, who is
going to be in town for something? And Rob Reiner's
don't say at a hotel, stay with us here. You've
got you know, you've got warm towels, and you've got
you know, your own shower, and you've had family here.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Didn't he also say that we had the best toilet papers. Yeah,
so we had the best toilet paper in town.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
And if you're in that tight knit of a family
and for some reason you feel like the hangnail, if
you're that tight knit and you feel like you're the
outsider for whatever reason, whether it's it's true or not,
if Nick felt that way, then that drives, you know,
whatever spiral he found himself in from an early age.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Anyway, it's time for swamp watch. Let's cleanse our palates
on a.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Swamp watch and a liar and when I'm not kissing babies,
I'm stealing that lollipop.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Here we got the real problem is that our leaders
are done.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
The other side never quits.
Speaker 6 (03:30):
So what.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I'm not going anywhere?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
So the squad I can imagine what can be and
be unburdened by what has been.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
You know, have.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Always been going. They're not stupid.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
A political plunder is when a politician actually tells the truth.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
We have the people voting for you were not swamp watch.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
They're all count ofaed Well, this is a weird connection,
but Marjorie Taylor Green says the damn is breaking when
it comes to President Trump's grip on the Republican part.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
She gave an interview with CNN.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Hmm, I don't think I've ever seen a position where
I've gone, Oh, yes, Marjorie Taylor Green and I agree
on this.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Oh would you agree?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well, listen to what she says this. Specifically, she's talking
about what happened with the President's comments about Rob Reiner's death.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
The major fallout happened yesterday with his statements on the
tragic murder of Rob Reiner and his.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Wife, Maga.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Fateful reacted big time and they called it out it's
all over social media. People his supporters, including myself. We
didn't appreciate hearing the president who himself was shot and
after Charlie Kirk's horrific murder, we didn't appreciate. Even if
(04:48):
you don't agree with Rob Reiner politically, there's there was
no reason for his statement.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
WHOA, I agree with her too. There that's a weird
That's what I'm saying. Like this is that made me
that disgusted me yesterday.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
And you know what, I absolutely should have.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
And this was a couple conversations I had with people
in the real world. Rarely do politics come up, and
that came up. And these are people who are Trump fans.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, who said that?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
You know what, I can't even I can't even pay
attention to that or stomach that right now.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
She goes on to say, in a more political sense,
outside of the cultural thing, that that was that there
were thirteen House Republicans that joined Democrats a week ago
in advancing a bill that would reverse one of President
Trump's executive orders, which would crack down on federal worker unions.
And she again, Marjorie Taylor Green believes that there are
(05:39):
things like this that are going on that do break
away from Republicans falling in line with Donald Trump. I
don't agree with that part of it. I still think
he's very much he very much has an iron grip
on the party itself.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
But that's her opinion.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
The other thing that's going on, and it's super weedy
and I don't want to spend a whole lot of
time on it. It's these extending the Affordable Care Act
tax credits. This is the whole reason why the government
shut down a few months ago.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
A couple of months ago.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
A group of Republicans in the House are going against
Mike Johnson now and helping House Democrats get the votes
they need to force a vote on the extension of
those Affordable Care Act tax credits. This is strange because
this is not what Republicans generally have been saying they
want to do. The Republicans did promise Democrats when the
(06:35):
government shut down ended that they would have some discussion
on extension affordable of Affordable.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Care Acts tax credits.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
A congressman out of Pennsylvania, Brian Fitzpatrick, was the one
who signed on to Hakeem Jeffrey's discharge position petition on
A three A clean three year ACA extension. A couple
others got in there, Mike Lawler out of New York,
Robert Bresnahan Pennsylvania. They will have to vote on this measure.
The House now is forced to vote on the measure.
(07:07):
Timing is up to the Speaker, so he could push
this all the way to the new year if they
do that. We've already seen the headlines about how premiums
for insurances are going to go through the roof starting
January first, and it looks like Republicans are willing to
wear that egg on their face just in terms of
whether Mike Johnson pushes this thing into.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
January or not.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
We have an alien update everybody, that's right at LIS
three I what is it?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Three eye at lists, You're nailing it.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Three I at lists is going to make its closest
approach to Earth tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Y'allorrow.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Tomorrow, We're going to tell you what's going to happen
with the aliens. They've already been dropping their genetic material
and what's next.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I don't know. That's such a It's also where you're
at Wednesday, Thank.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Carrie, Shannon. It's Kimberly and I'm listening to you guys
on the iHeart app from a small town of twenty
five thousand in Cartersville, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Carls Mailman, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Middle America.
Speaker 8 (08:13):
Hey, Gary, Hey Shannon, This is John and every day
I listen to your awesome show while I am in
the borough of Naugatuck, Connecticut.
Speaker 7 (08:22):
From Sheridan, Arkansas, originally Thousand Oaks, California.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Thank you all.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Leave us a talkback message and tell us where you
are listening to the show.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Sheridan, Arkansas. What do we know about that thriving metropolis
population forty nine hundred? Is it really? I have no
idea that's out of number?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Well I will find out right now. Let's see, population
is forty six hundred.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I was close. Whoa yeah see wait, no, no, no, forty.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I was reading twenty ten census, twenty twenty census forty.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Nine hundred and twenty people. Why do you ask?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Why do you ask?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
If we're gonna go to Vegas?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Play that iHeartRadio stuff you play when we're gone. Yeah,
let's go to Vegas. Let's roll the dice with this guy.
Gary and Shannon will continue.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
You're listening to Gary and Shannon on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
I haven't seen any clues, but we're getting a whole
lot of where you're at Wednesday, so I haven't seen
them yet. But if you go to Gary and Shannon
on Instagram, the first clue, well, their location is up
there for you to look at, and then you give
us clues and we'll go try to find Phonsie and Sprinkles.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Sprinkles, sprinkles, Okay, good, Yeah, I accidentally called her Sparkle.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Yeah, that threw me off, but I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
To throw you off. I also called Phonsie Fergus yesterday.
We won't do that anymore, no one, and I apologized
for that.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
It's great.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
One hundred and sixty eight million mile is how close?
That's pretty close. One hundred and sixty eight million, oh million.
I was thinking it was just the one sixty eight No,
it's one hundred and sixty eight million miles and the
official I don't know the official time of day, which
is weird to say, but they can narrow it down.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I mean they have specifics. They know when it is.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
You can start the live streams tomorrow, by the way,
and watch Hell, yeah, three i at lists get as
close to Earth as it's going to get one hundred
sixty eight million miles.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
How do we know that it's going to stop then
and turn around or whatever?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
How do we know what the alien's intentions are? Furthermore,
you chuckle when I say they're dropping their genetic material
all over us?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Is that not the last update we had where they were.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Quite legitimately dropping their genetic material whatever it.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Is, whatever their genetic material is, they're putting it on
what are you eating?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
It's like a pea soup. Oh that looks like a
Comets genetic material. You just spit green soup up on
your own computer.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Hah, Oh my god, it's gonna come out your nose.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Luckily I hit it on the paper. But that was funny.
But no, I think you'd enjoy it. I probably would.
Here's the deal, and this is the problem. This is
a problem.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Okay, of all the weird things we've seen three i
atlasts do when it came from some other place into
our solar system, went around the Sun, right, did weird
stuff back there? Weird stuff. There's a probe around Mars.
It's called the Maven spacecraft and it acts as a
(11:40):
communications relay between the stuff we put on Mars, little
rovers and things like that and Earth. It just it's
an antenna booster maybe something like that. Just give an
idea what it does. It went behind Mars compared to
where we are behind Mars. By the time it came
out from the back side of Mars, it stopped transmitting
(12:04):
and its rotation was all jacked up.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh no, I have so many jokes. I'm not gonna
make any of them.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Like what.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Imagine your friend, You're walking with a friend, yeah, and
you're you're walking in a place that has big concrete pillars,
and your friend stops behind one of the concrete pillars
and when you go, hey, where'd you go? And they
pop out and they got a black eye and they're
bleeding from their nose.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Right, what happened? Aliens? Of course it's aliens, right, This
is not what the problem is.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
The naysayers to AVI Lobe over there, the Harvard physicist
who said that this thing is showing alien tendencies from
go and all the other guys who are like, no,
that's just crazy av. They can't explain away the fact
that this thing does not behave like a comet.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I've searched for it.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Explain to me then, if it is a comet, explain
away all the things that are uncommet like about it.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
And they can't. The only thing, the only defense I
would have now we're thropping its seed, is.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
That the comets that we know of are comets from
within our solar system, and this one is outside our
solar system. So it may come from a place that
has difference genetic things, right, different chemicals, different creatures, whatever
it is, and I may be the explanation as to
(13:32):
why it is different. I.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
As a child, did not really believe in aliens.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I would, you know, kind of just kind of play
along with Twilight Zone when the aliens appeared and things
like that. But maybe I guess if I had to choose,
i'd be a little bit afraid of aliens.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I guess that would have been the way that I thought.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Now in the year of our Lord twenty twenty five,
I am not afraid of aliens. I am ready for
whatever they're going to bring. I think it'll improve whatever
going on here, or maybe just change it up.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
A little bit. But when maybe a quick course correction, when.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
You think of aliens do you think of the Day
the Earth stood Still? Or Close Encounters or something like that,
where it's slightly humanoid and maybe they want to come
here and communicate with us, yeah, Or do you think
of something like a quiet Place where it's some weird
hybrid of a bug and an out and an alien
creature and it has no desire to be with you
(14:25):
other than to take you.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I have never seen Food Way. I've never seen any
of the movies you just asked about. Yes, I have not.
I never Close Encounters, I know, I never have.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Quiet Place with John Krasinski from the Office. Sorry, I haven't.
It's a great movie. I haven't seen anything I know,
and I know that.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
But I am just ready for a change up, Like
I'm ready for a little switcher roof. Let's add something,
let's get crazy. I mean, we came out of a pandemic,
we did that whole thing. What's next.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Aliens? You're just willing to let them take you.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
So we've got a radio show. We need content that's true.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But they may just may be the first thing they
shut down.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
It will not be Have you heard this show? I
like this show. It's a good show.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Where are you at Way? Better than a lot of others.
Crap I've listened to.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Let us know where you're at while you listen to
the Gary and Shannon Show, Justin Warsham.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
When we come back, you're listening to Gary and Shannon
on demand from KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Well, we're talking to Justin Warsham. We talk about parenting
issues with Justin because he's the best.
Speaker 8 (15:42):
So it's a scary time when you say something to
Shannon and she's self edits right, like.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Oh yeah, It's like that is the terrifying moment.
Speaker 8 (15:49):
It feels very much like what I imagine Pandora's Box to
be because there is a curiosity. There's a curiosity of
the unknown, but you also feel safe and unknown.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
I will also say this though, if you've wait her out,
she'll often tell you. If you don't play it, I
don't even care what you were thinking, you'll hit you.
Velcrow parents? What is a velcrow parent?
Speaker 8 (16:12):
I grabbed this because I while coming through weirdly enough
and I looked into it.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Very unrelated.
Speaker 8 (16:18):
There were like six kind of trending articles about being
a having a velcro kid, a kid that is attached
to you at the side, like separation, anxiety and this
is horrible and a pet is what I like those too,
And then they stumbled across this one that was new
that it said being a velcrow parent and the downsides
of it, And what I liked about it was it said,
(16:39):
you know a lot of people think helicopter parenting is
being a velcrow parent, but it's actually not because helicopter
parenting is just monitoring, whereas velcro parenting, you are fused
with your kid emotionally and physically, like you were invested
in every moment and everything that they do. And again,
it's the part that fascinating to me about all this
(17:01):
kind of like really trying to be super invested in
your kid is that on paper, everyone would assume that
the more invested you are in your chick, your child's
emotional and mental well being, that that should be a
good thing. But for whatever reason, the way human beings
seemed to be wired is that it does not seem
to work out well like helicopter There's all this research
(17:21):
that's coming in helicopter parenting, this velcral parenting. They talk
about it here that it leads to increased anxiety and all,
and I think it really just stems my theory as
it stems from your removing negative experiences.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Like my parents being objective voices when it came to
how I was feeling about a particular thing. Not very
mature attitude. Looking back, Yeah, I'm valuing that. Looking back,
I don't think in a minute, I.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Think going like, my dad's really being ob checked.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Looking back, I'm thinking, you know, they were not so
wrapped up in my mind. If I was upset about
losing a game, or like I played in a game,
if I was upset about you know, insert being upset
about something here, emotional or upset about something, they never
matched my emotions.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
They would just say, yeah, that.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Sucked and you know, move on like this, so shall
pass or whatever. And being detached like that an objective
I think is helpful. If you had a parent that
was like, I know, it was the worst game ever,
this is awful.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I feel like that spiral would just continue to their
snowball would continue to pick up.
Speaker 8 (18:27):
It talks a lot about it during the pandemic of
people who were afraid and nervous during the pandemic, their
kids were nervous and afraid during the pandemic, Yeah, like
you couldn't.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Figure out why and you idiots?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yeah, well, I mean this is one of those we
make fun of and talk a lot about kids and
their anxieties these days. And this seems like the velcrow parent.
Just the mechanism of being that close and that invested
in your kid and their outcomes. You don't allow them
(19:00):
to have their own feelings. And if you are that
person who is anxious, they only learn from watching you.
If that's how you deal with tough situations, is you
break down and shut down and I can't because it's
so I'm so anxious, then you're teaching them to do
that exact same thing.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
And it's I.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
That's not to say you can give all your kids
all the tools that they need to function in life
and they throw them all out or they don't use them,
or they hate them or whatever. It's not a guarantee,
but it just seems like this, Uh, we parents oftentimes
don't do the calculation of I need to show by
example how to deal with situations as much as as
(19:45):
much as we.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Should, I wish I had.
Speaker 8 (19:48):
Maybe I'll do some digging into this, because all this
makes me believe we talk a lot about like you said,
your parents, I think we all, everybody at this table
and probably most of the people listening all have this thing.
When we were growing up, our parents didn't really care
about what we thought or what we wanted a lot,
you know what I mean. They weren't neglectful, they weren't
indifferent to us entirely, but it was just there was
this fible like, I don't know why you're talking right now,
(20:10):
this is not your place to talk. Go do kid things. Yeah,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And we spoke, there would be a record scratch and
someone would throw a cocktail at our head.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Yeah, and then they're out of here.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
And we grew up with We grew up with jokes
and movies about like you know what I jokingly called
dads from the fifties who didn't express emotions, and they
you know, they say I love you or I'm proud
of you one time when you're fifty seven, and then
you know, like it all happens and somehow or you're
angry at them for that and I and maybe it's
just about being in the middle, but it's I don't
(20:40):
I don't know why that's such a negative thing for
you to not constantly blow sunshine up your kids butt
or praise them or be so invested, Like why do
we think it's neglectful because you're just letting them kind
of live their life a little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Might I didn't blow sunshine, it was realistic. But he
always said I love you. That was a big thing
because he I don't think he grew up with a
lot of that. I don't know, but I I mean,
I don't know, but he was very much always wanted
to let you know I love you, even if you
know you're screwing up or whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
That never went away.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
The withholding love never happened, and I think that is
a very important thing.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
It was important for me.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
To have that, Like, you know, you always know that
you're loved even when you're a piece of crap kid
or whatever, You're still loved. It doesn't mean that they
are approving what you're doing, but they still love you.
Speaker 8 (21:31):
Yeah, that no matter what. And I think am I wrong?
Like I just I think you can have that without
this without feeling like I'm making every decision for little
Timmy and they have to do this so they can
get into this school, and this is what you need
to do. And then I need to know everything that's
going on in your life at all points. Like I
know I teeter on that personally, but I also there's
a lot that I just like, you're.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
Going to figure this out.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Well, it's because and I think the difference is that
you are invested in their lives, but you're not overinvested
and you're not controlling it.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
No, I mean control it.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
You obviously care about what what they're going through, and
you care about what how they handle whatever situation, but
you're not the one who's on the sidelines with the
clipboard yelling at him.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Going now, now you say you do want to be
a show choir for the.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Rest of your life. Yeah, you're right, right whatever.
Speaker 8 (22:20):
I'm at the point where I feel like I'm somebody
that they walk by in a grocery store because like
they come by and they're like this is I go listen.
I don't think that's a good idea, but you go
ahead and do you man? I say that a lot
now in my house.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Can you know you can be the bumpers on the
on the bowling alley, the guardrails. You can't guide the ball,
but you can be there to make sure it's on
the right, uh lane.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
I like it myself to fake bumpers like I think
they're there visually. But if you come in hard and
fast at one of those walls, I'm gonna let you
hit it.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
I'm gonna let you gutter it.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Yeah, because I really, I really think that's where people
really get to learn and.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Grow in the gutter.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
In the gutter wrong, Like I mean, I know this
is a sappy ex.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Just landed in the gutter a couple of times.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
Justin When we come back, we'll talk more.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Got our time. By the way, great my podcast Great Guy.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Worked on here.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
This is when the band starts to break up.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yoka will continue.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
You're listening to Gary and Shannon on demand from kf
I Am six forty.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Justin Worsham is host of the Dad podcast and joins
us each Wednesday where we tackle parenting. What is going
on with the trends. There's so many trends when it
comes to parenting. We went into Velcrow parents and what
that entails. Gentle parenting continues to kind of make the rounds,
at least on TikTok and social media about more often
(23:52):
not than not. I see you know I've got this
gentle parenting worked, it's working out, it's it's it's happening,
you know, because a kid will have one behavioral win.
And then some people who say this gentle parenting thing
not working out.
Speaker 8 (24:06):
I think if for the ones that I've seen where
gentle parenting is working, I think it's that they're doing it.
Like in this example that I found, this person was
doing gentle parenting but was having all these negative results.
And when they kind of did some self reflection, what
they found is that they had actually transitioned into being permissive,
which is basically anything kind of goes and you want
to be more middle of the road. And I would
(24:29):
perceive gentle parenting as it is authoritarian, but it is
like you're really not raising your voice. You're having a
conversation when you when you feel like instead of saying no,
you're having a conversation where you inform the kid as
to why the answer would be no, instead of just
going no. We're not doing that. And there's no way
(24:49):
I could live in that gentle parenting world.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I don't undertan.
Speaker 8 (24:52):
Trust me, there's parts of me that wishes I was
a stronger person than I could, but I barely like
it's better now that they're teenagers. But there were multiple
times when my kids were younger that I could barely
listen to their stories, Like it was just it was hard,
it was rough.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
They're not interesting people when they're young. Dumb when they're young, Yes,
and boring to a lot of it in a lot
of ways.
Speaker 8 (25:11):
It's such a weird thing to love them so much
at the same time loving somebody who's completely uninteresting.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Isn't that weird?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Is thereah?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Because my wife does it all the time exact?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Is there advice on, you know, listening to kids' stories
when they you know, they're they're of that age where
they like to talk a lot and they're not really
not really saying anything, but you want to show them
that you're interested in what they have to say. But
they need to learn to edit, right, They need to
learn to edit and maybe only speak for the important
stuff or I don't think I ever do they remember
any of that? Like, did I waste a lot of
time with my nephews listening to innate stories?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Well, here's the thing.
Speaker 8 (25:47):
I laughed you because obviously I was a kid who
talked a lot. I talked a lot with adults. My
dad liked me to hang around adults. He thought it
was good for me, and my mom would kind of
give me a hard time about talking a lot. But
when my step mom came into the picture, she would
listen to me all the time, like and was always
like would ask me questions like it's her superpower.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
My mom.
Speaker 8 (26:10):
My stepmom is really really good with kids, like the grandkids,
doesn't matter what age they are, like, she's just always invested.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
And I had moments of that.
Speaker 8 (26:19):
But I also I think there were more moments where
I was engaged in listening, but there were some moments
where I'm just like, I don't have it in the
tank today, Like I just don't.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I'm sorry you don't have the band way.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
It gets a lot better when they're older, But I
think I think it meant I remember it meaning a
lot to me when I was like six and seven
years old that my stepmom would listen to me. So
I don't know that it has to be you. I
think again that we've I've seen data. Really, as long
as you're getting it at least thirty percent of.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
The timember, you're winning a lot. As a child, you didn't.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Talk about I don't remember having like dissertations the way
that some kids have today where they've got like a
yarn they're spinning for quite a while. You know, I
don't remember doing that to adults.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I had cousins.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
We would get together and we would put on shows
for for whoever would watch.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And it was really awful. It was just awful.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
And I think of it as a parent like, oh,
it's variety show time. Yeah that, and we would always
put a time, We put a time you got, you got, no,
I always okay, you have five minutes. And even cold kid,
(27:26):
well that's the thing is you get a little pitchy dog.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Well they need to learn to edit. They have to
figure that out.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
And also they have to you know, give me a story,
give me a beginning, middle.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
And end.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
But see this is this work on the closer that this.
Speaker 8 (27:39):
Is kind of the in my opinion, like the key
to my parenting philosophy, Like you have gentle parenting where
I just feel like, is everything about making that person
feel good? And all that all I hear when I hear,
when I listen to that is that no part of the.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
Real world is looking to make you feel good when
you leave.
Speaker 8 (27:54):
Your parents' house or the sweet cuddling of your grandmother's arms.
Nobody's trying to go how can I make Justin feel
good about himself today? And I don't understand why this
seems to be so important to us as parents. I'm
not saying that we need to manufacture tearing people down either,
That's not my point. I'm just saying, don't just be
genuine right like you can. It's not hard to genuinely
(28:16):
trust me. I care way more about my kids dumb
stories than what you should.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Right.
Speaker 8 (28:20):
There's no way that my kid could come in here
and tell a goofy story and you be equally invested
as thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
For letting me off those you're welcome.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
So it's already baked in.
Speaker 8 (28:29):
I think you don't have to worry about manufacturing the interest.
And I don't know how you're doing them any papers
if they're not interesting by telling them there are. I
used to worry because my younger son I would give
a lot of guff to and now he jokes about
it all the time like he gets it.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
And to go back to what Shane was or what
you were saying earlier in terms of you know, there
was a time when we weren't listened to. When we
as kids, we were not expected to involve ourselves in
the conversation of the adults in the room. And we
all know people who have allowed their kids to have
that inaction with adults. And then when they come into
(29:03):
your house or there's a bigger event, they're all involved, and.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
You're like, who is this kid? Who does he think
he is?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
He's not funny, he doesn't know anything that he's talking
about about. You know, we're talking about taxes or divorces
or something like that, and he's like, yeah, tell me
about it, bro, you're fourteen.
Speaker 8 (29:21):
I want all of us to genuinely take some time
to think about do you know anybody whose parents like
love them so much and thought they were so great
and so perfect that actually turned out perfect and interesting.
I've always said that just a little dusting of abuse
makes people interesting. Yeah, but not you know, physical or No,
I'm not dusting. That's what I mean spanking. There's a
(29:42):
lot more comedians that were great in the eighties. I'm
just saying when spanking.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Was also cocaine.
Speaker 8 (29:47):
There's a difference street spanking and beating. And I mean
this sincerely right.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
We've had this discussion before.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
It always causes problems, yes, but.
Speaker 8 (29:56):
Still I think I think all I'm saying is you
could err on the side of not being super nice
to your kid.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Not everything has to be gentle. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
I think a little abuse is good, right.
Speaker 9 (30:05):
Yeah, it may be dusting shrink, especially if it's unintentional,
you know what I mean, where you're just like, what
I mean is like you had a moment, right, You're
just like, Ah, that was I'm sorry, man, I'm.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Not supposed to do that moment. It's intentional abuse.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Oh my bad?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Right? Isn't it like you can't.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Act in the heat of a moment when you're mad
as a parent, you have to be intentional about punishments.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
I don't think that's realistic though. Realistically you have a moment.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
I don't think you understand about my experience in parenting
and how you should listen to me.
Speaker 8 (30:35):
I'm sorry, you know what. Honestly, you've given me a
lot of profound advice. A lot of them came out
of her gut. I can't wait to tune in the podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
The word profound, because yesterday there was a story calling
diarrhea profound.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
So remember that?
Speaker 8 (30:48):
Yeah, you said that like you genuinely thought you made
that up from a dream.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
You said, wait, you remember that, right, because otherwise I
just said that. I'll allowed for no reason, and we're
running out of time for Elmer to dump this.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Get it, Get it, profound, Profound boy, I think we
you've been listening to The Gary and Shannon Show.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
You can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty nine am to one pm every Monday through Friday,
and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio ap
This is Gary and Shannon and you're listening to kf
I a M. Six forty, the Gary and Shannon Show
on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
That's going to live on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
But if you missed our conversation with LAPD chief Jim MacDonald,
there's nice, There's there's a quality about him that is
just calm.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
He's very calming, and he is very humble and he
is No ego is what Jim McDonald brings, none whatsoever.
It is so rare, it is so rare.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
He's also very polished when he speaks, wicked smart speaking.
We did talk also about one of the news conferences
that he was in. Of course this week on Monday
was the news conference with the First Assistant US Attorney
announcing the the breakup of what was supposed to be
a terror plot a bombing of sites in LA and
(00:57):
Orange County on New Year's Eve, and we knew that
that there was a fifth arrest, one out in New Orleans.
More details have come in about Micah Legnon, a twenty
eight year old guy former marine charged with threats in
interstate commerce. Feder authorities said that they've been surveilling him
due to ties to this extremist anti capitalist group. We
(01:19):
told you about the Turtle Island Liberation Front. Four members
of that group were the ones that were arrested in
the Mojave Desert as they were rehearsing, plotting building, plotting
to set off bombs in LA and Orange Counties, but that
he was planning to carry out an attack in New Orleans.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Also, the remaining children who are not in jail for
murdering their parents of the Reiners have released a statement.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
At this hour. You read it, I can't read it, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Jake and Romey Reiner are their names. Words cannot even
begin to describe the unimaginable pain we're experiencing every moment
of the day. The horrific and devas dating loss of
our parents, Robin Michelle Reiner or something that no one
should ever experience. They weren't just our parents, they were
our best friends. We're grateful for the outpouring of condolences, kindness,
and support we've received, not only from our family and friends,
(02:13):
but from people from all walks of life. Please respect
our privacy, speculation to be tempered with compassion and humanity,
and for our parents to be remembered for the incredible
lives they lived and love they gave. That's not just
lip service. By the way, they weren't just our parents,
they were our best friends. From a lot of the
reports that this was a totally tight knit family, they
were all in the house all the time. The daughter
(02:35):
officially lived across the street from them. There was a
person working in Hollywood, a writer. I think, who is
going to be in town for something? And Rob Reiner's
don't say at a hotel, stay with us here. You've
got you know, you've got warm towels, and you've got
you know, your own shower, and you've had family here.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Didn't he also say that we had the best toilet papers. Yeah,
so we had the best toilet paper in town.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
And if you're in that tight knit of a family
and for some reason you feel like the hangnail, if
you're that tight knit and you feel like you're the
outsider for whatever reason, whether it's it's true or not,
if Nick felt that way, then that drives, you know,
whatever spiral he found himself in from an early age.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Anyway, it's time for swamp watch. Let's cleanse our palates
on a.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Swamp watch and a liar and when I'm not kissing babies,
I'm stealing that lollipop.
Speaker 5 (03:25):
Here we got the real problem is that our leaders
are done.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
The other side never quits.
Speaker 6 (03:30):
So what.
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I'm not going anywhere?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
So the squad I can imagine what can be and
be unburdened by what has been.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
You know, have.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Always been going. They're not stupid.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
A political plunder is when a politician actually tells the truth.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
We have the people voting for you were not swamp watch.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
They're all count ofaed Well, this is a weird connection,
but Marjorie Taylor Green says the damn is breaking when
it comes to President Trump's grip on the Republican part.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
She gave an interview with CNN.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Hmm, I don't think I've ever seen a position where
I've gone, Oh, yes, Marjorie Taylor Green and I agree
on this.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Oh would you agree?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Well, listen to what she says this. Specifically, she's talking
about what happened with the President's comments about Rob Reiner's death.
Speaker 6 (04:19):
The major fallout happened yesterday with his statements on the
tragic murder of Rob Reiner and his.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Wife, Maga.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Fateful reacted big time and they called it out it's
all over social media. People his supporters, including myself. We
didn't appreciate hearing the president who himself was shot and
after Charlie Kirk's horrific murder, we didn't appreciate. Even if
(04:48):
you don't agree with Rob Reiner politically, there's there was
no reason for his statement.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
WHOA, I agree with her too. There that's a weird
That's what I'm saying. Like this is that made me
that disgusted me yesterday.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
And you know what, I absolutely should have.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
And this was a couple conversations I had with people
in the real world. Rarely do politics come up, and
that came up. And these are people who are Trump fans.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, who said that?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
You know what, I can't even I can't even pay
attention to that or stomach that right now.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
She goes on to say, in a more political sense,
outside of the cultural thing, that that was that there
were thirteen House Republicans that joined Democrats a week ago
in advancing a bill that would reverse one of President
Trump's executive orders, which would crack down on federal worker unions.
And she again, Marjorie Taylor Green believes that there are
(05:39):
things like this that are going on that do break
away from Republicans falling in line with Donald Trump. I
don't agree with that part of it. I still think
he's very much he very much has an iron grip
on the party itself.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
But that's her opinion.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
The other thing that's going on, and it's super weedy
and I don't want to spend a whole lot of
time on it. It's these extending the Affordable Care Act
tax credits. This is the whole reason why the government
shut down a few months ago.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
A couple of months ago.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
A group of Republicans in the House are going against
Mike Johnson now and helping House Democrats get the votes
they need to force a vote on the extension of
those Affordable Care Act tax credits. This is strange because
this is not what Republicans generally have been saying they
want to do. The Republicans did promise Democrats when the
(06:35):
government shut down ended that they would have some discussion
on extension affordable of Affordable.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Care Acts tax credits.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
A congressman out of Pennsylvania, Brian Fitzpatrick, was the one
who signed on to Hakeem Jeffrey's discharge position petition on
A three A clean three year ACA extension. A couple
others got in there, Mike Lawler out of New York,
Robert Bresnahan Pennsylvania. They will have to vote on this measure.
The House now is forced to vote on the measure.
(07:07):
Timing is up to the Speaker, so he could push
this all the way to the new year if they
do that. We've already seen the headlines about how premiums
for insurances are going to go through the roof starting
January first, and it looks like Republicans are willing to
wear that egg on their face just in terms of
whether Mike Johnson pushes this thing into.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
January or not.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
We have an alien update everybody, that's right at LIS
three I what is it?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Three eye at lists, You're nailing it.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Three I at lists is going to make its closest
approach to Earth tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Y'allorrow.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Tomorrow, We're going to tell you what's going to happen
with the aliens. They've already been dropping their genetic material
and what's next.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I don't know. That's such a It's also where you're
at Wednesday, Thank.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Carrie, Shannon. It's Kimberly and I'm listening to you guys
on the iHeart app from a small town of twenty
five thousand in Cartersville, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Carls Mailman, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Middle America.
Speaker 8 (08:13):
Hey, Gary, Hey Shannon, This is John and every day
I listen to your awesome show while I am in
the borough of Naugatuck, Connecticut.
Speaker 7 (08:22):
From Sheridan, Arkansas, originally Thousand Oaks, California.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Thank you all.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Leave us a talkback message and tell us where you
are listening to the show.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Sheridan, Arkansas. What do we know about that thriving metropolis
population forty nine hundred? Is it really? I have no
idea that's out of number?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Well I will find out right now. Let's see, population
is forty six hundred.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I was close. Whoa yeah see wait, no, no, no, forty.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
Twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I was reading twenty ten census, twenty twenty census forty.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Nine hundred and twenty people. Why do you ask?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Why do you ask?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
If we're gonna go to Vegas?
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Play that iHeartRadio stuff you play when we're gone. Yeah,
let's go to Vegas. Let's roll the dice with this guy.
Gary and Shannon will continue.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
You're listening to Gary and Shannon on demand from KFI
AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
I haven't seen any clues, but we're getting a whole
lot of where you're at Wednesday, so I haven't seen
them yet. But if you go to Gary and Shannon
on Instagram, the first clue, well, their location is up
there for you to look at, and then you give
us clues and we'll go try to find Phonsie and Sprinkles.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Sprinkles, sprinkles, Okay, good, Yeah, I accidentally called her Sparkle.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Yeah, that threw me off, but I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
To throw you off. I also called Phonsie Fergus yesterday.
We won't do that anymore, no one, and I apologized
for that.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
It's great.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
One hundred and sixty eight million mile is how close?
That's pretty close. One hundred and sixty eight million, oh million.
I was thinking it was just the one sixty eight No,
it's one hundred and sixty eight million miles and the
official I don't know the official time of day, which
is weird to say, but they can narrow it down.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I mean they have specifics. They know when it is.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
You can start the live streams tomorrow, by the way,
and watch Hell, yeah, three i at lists get as
close to Earth as it's going to get one hundred
sixty eight million miles.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
How do we know that it's going to stop then
and turn around or whatever?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
How do we know what the alien's intentions are? Furthermore,
you chuckle when I say they're dropping their genetic material
all over us?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Is that not the last update we had where they were.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Quite legitimately dropping their genetic material whatever it.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Is, whatever their genetic material is, they're putting it on
what are you eating?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
It's like a pea soup. Oh that looks like a
Comets genetic material. You just spit green soup up on
your own computer.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Hah, Oh my god, it's gonna come out your nose.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Luckily I hit it on the paper. But that was funny.
But no, I think you'd enjoy it. I probably would.
Here's the deal, and this is the problem. This is
a problem.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Okay, of all the weird things we've seen three i
atlasts do when it came from some other place into
our solar system, went around the Sun, right, did weird
stuff back there? Weird stuff. There's a probe around Mars.
It's called the Maven spacecraft and it acts as a
(11:40):
communications relay between the stuff we put on Mars, little
rovers and things like that and Earth. It just it's
an antenna booster maybe something like that. Just give an
idea what it does. It went behind Mars compared to
where we are behind Mars. By the time it came
out from the back side of Mars, it stopped transmitting
(12:04):
and its rotation was all jacked up.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Oh no, I have so many jokes. I'm not gonna
make any of them.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Like what.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Imagine your friend, You're walking with a friend, yeah, and
you're you're walking in a place that has big concrete pillars,
and your friend stops behind one of the concrete pillars
and when you go, hey, where'd you go? And they
pop out and they got a black eye and they're
bleeding from their nose.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Right, what happened? Aliens? Of course it's aliens, right, This
is not what the problem is.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
The naysayers to AVI Lobe over there, the Harvard physicist
who said that this thing is showing alien tendencies from
go and all the other guys who are like, no,
that's just crazy av. They can't explain away the fact
that this thing does not behave like a comet.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I've searched for it.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Explain to me then, if it is a comet, explain
away all the things that are uncommet like about it.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
And they can't. The only thing, the only defense I
would have now we're thropping its seed, is.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
That the comets that we know of are comets from
within our solar system, and this one is outside our
solar system. So it may come from a place that
has difference genetic things, right, different chemicals, different creatures, whatever
it is, and I may be the explanation as to
(13:32):
why it is different. I.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
As a child, did not really believe in aliens.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I would, you know, kind of just kind of play
along with Twilight Zone when the aliens appeared and things
like that. But maybe I guess if I had to choose,
i'd be a little bit afraid of aliens.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I guess that would have been the way that I thought.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Now in the year of our Lord twenty twenty five,
I am not afraid of aliens. I am ready for
whatever they're going to bring. I think it'll improve whatever
going on here, or maybe just change it up.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
A little bit. But when maybe a quick course correction, when.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
You think of aliens do you think of the Day
the Earth stood Still? Or Close Encounters or something like that,
where it's slightly humanoid and maybe they want to come
here and communicate with us, yeah, Or do you think
of something like a quiet Place where it's some weird
hybrid of a bug and an out and an alien
creature and it has no desire to be with you
(14:25):
other than to take you.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I have never seen Food Way. I've never seen any
of the movies you just asked about. Yes, I have not.
I never Close Encounters, I know, I never have.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Quiet Place with John Krasinski from the Office. Sorry, I haven't.
It's a great movie. I haven't seen anything I know,
and I know that.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
But I am just ready for a change up, Like
I'm ready for a little switcher roof. Let's add something,
let's get crazy. I mean, we came out of a pandemic,
we did that whole thing. What's next.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Aliens? You're just willing to let them take you.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
So we've got a radio show. We need content that's true.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
But they may just may be the first thing they
shut down.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
It will not be Have you heard this show? I
like this show. It's a good show.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Where are you at Way? Better than a lot of others.
Crap I've listened to.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Let us know where you're at while you listen to
the Gary and Shannon Show, Justin Warsham.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
When we come back, you're listening to Gary and Shannon
on demand from KFI AM six forty.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Well, we're talking to Justin Warsham. We talk about parenting
issues with Justin because he's the best.
Speaker 8 (15:42):
So it's a scary time when you say something to
Shannon and she's self edits right, like.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Oh yeah, It's like that is the terrifying moment.
Speaker 8 (15:49):
It feels very much like what I imagine Pandora's Box to
be because there is a curiosity. There's a curiosity of
the unknown, but you also feel safe and unknown.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
I will also say this though, if you've wait her out,
she'll often tell you. If you don't play it, I
don't even care what you were thinking, you'll hit you.
Velcrow parents? What is a velcrow parent?
Speaker 8 (16:12):
I grabbed this because I while coming through weirdly enough
and I looked into it.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Very unrelated.
Speaker 8 (16:18):
There were like six kind of trending articles about being
a having a velcro kid, a kid that is attached
to you at the side, like separation, anxiety and this
is horrible and a pet is what I like those too,
And then they stumbled across this one that was new
that it said being a velcrow parent and the downsides
of it, And what I liked about it was it said,
(16:39):
you know a lot of people think helicopter parenting is
being a velcrow parent, but it's actually not because helicopter
parenting is just monitoring, whereas velcro parenting, you are fused
with your kid emotionally and physically, like you were invested
in every moment and everything that they do. And again,
it's the part that fascinating to me about all this
(17:01):
kind of like really trying to be super invested in
your kid is that on paper, everyone would assume that
the more invested you are in your chick, your child's
emotional and mental well being, that that should be a
good thing. But for whatever reason, the way human beings
seemed to be wired is that it does not seem
to work out well like helicopter There's all this research
(17:21):
that's coming in helicopter parenting, this velcral parenting. They talk
about it here that it leads to increased anxiety and all,
and I think it really just stems my theory as
it stems from your removing negative experiences.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Like my parents being objective voices when it came to
how I was feeling about a particular thing. Not very
mature attitude. Looking back, Yeah, I'm valuing that. Looking back,
I don't think in a minute, I.
Speaker 4 (17:47):
Think going like, my dad's really being ob checked.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Looking back, I'm thinking, you know, they were not so
wrapped up in my mind. If I was upset about
losing a game, or like I played in a game,
if I was upset about you know, insert being upset
about something here, emotional or upset about something, they never
matched my emotions.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
They would just say, yeah, that.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Sucked and you know, move on like this, so shall
pass or whatever. And being detached like that an objective
I think is helpful. If you had a parent that
was like, I know, it was the worst game ever,
this is awful.
Speaker 4 (18:22):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I feel like that spiral would just continue to their
snowball would continue to pick up.
Speaker 8 (18:27):
It talks a lot about it during the pandemic of
people who were afraid and nervous during the pandemic, their
kids were nervous and afraid during the pandemic, Yeah, like
you couldn't.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Figure out why and you idiots?
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Yeah, well, I mean this is one of those we
make fun of and talk a lot about kids and
their anxieties these days. And this seems like the velcrow parent.
Just the mechanism of being that close and that invested
in your kid and their outcomes. You don't allow them
(19:00):
to have their own feelings. And if you are that
person who is anxious, they only learn from watching you.
If that's how you deal with tough situations, is you
break down and shut down and I can't because it's
so I'm so anxious, then you're teaching them to do
that exact same thing.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
And it's I.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
That's not to say you can give all your kids
all the tools that they need to function in life
and they throw them all out or they don't use them,
or they hate them or whatever. It's not a guarantee,
but it just seems like this, Uh, we parents oftentimes
don't do the calculation of I need to show by
example how to deal with situations as much as as
(19:45):
much as we.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Should, I wish I had.
Speaker 8 (19:48):
Maybe I'll do some digging into this, because all this
makes me believe we talk a lot about like you said,
your parents, I think we all, everybody at this table
and probably most of the people listening all have this thing.
When we were growing up, our parents didn't really care
about what we thought or what we wanted a lot,
you know what I mean. They weren't neglectful, they weren't
indifferent to us entirely, but it was just there was
this fible like, I don't know why you're talking right now,
(20:10):
this is not your place to talk. Go do kid things. Yeah,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
And we spoke, there would be a record scratch and
someone would throw a cocktail at our head.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Yeah, and then they're out of here.
Speaker 8 (20:19):
And we grew up with We grew up with jokes
and movies about like you know what I jokingly called
dads from the fifties who didn't express emotions, and they
you know, they say I love you or I'm proud
of you one time when you're fifty seven, and then
you know, like it all happens and somehow or you're
angry at them for that and I and maybe it's
just about being in the middle, but it's I don't
(20:40):
I don't know why that's such a negative thing for
you to not constantly blow sunshine up your kids butt
or praise them or be so invested, Like why do
we think it's neglectful because you're just letting them kind
of live their life a little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Might I didn't blow sunshine, it was realistic. But he
always said I love you. That was a big thing
because he I don't think he grew up with a
lot of that. I don't know, but I I mean,
I don't know, but he was very much always wanted
to let you know I love you, even if you
know you're screwing up or whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
That never went away.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
The withholding love never happened, and I think that is
a very important thing.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
It was important for me.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
To have that, Like, you know, you always know that
you're loved even when you're a piece of crap kid
or whatever, You're still loved. It doesn't mean that they
are approving what you're doing, but they still love you.
Speaker 8 (21:31):
Yeah, that no matter what. And I think am I wrong?
Like I just I think you can have that without
this without feeling like I'm making every decision for little
Timmy and they have to do this so they can
get into this school, and this is what you need
to do. And then I need to know everything that's
going on in your life at all points. Like I
know I teeter on that personally, but I also there's
a lot that I just like, you're.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
Going to figure this out.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Well, it's because and I think the difference is that
you are invested in their lives, but you're not overinvested
and you're not controlling it.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
No, I mean control it.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
You obviously care about what what they're going through, and
you care about what how they handle whatever situation, but
you're not the one who's on the sidelines with the
clipboard yelling at him.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Going now, now you say you do want to be
a show choir for the.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Rest of your life. Yeah, you're right, right whatever.
Speaker 8 (22:20):
I'm at the point where I feel like I'm somebody
that they walk by in a grocery store because like
they come by and they're like this is I go listen.
I don't think that's a good idea, but you go
ahead and do you man? I say that a lot
now in my house.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Can you know you can be the bumpers on the
on the bowling alley, the guardrails. You can't guide the ball,
but you can be there to make sure it's on
the right, uh lane.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
I like it myself to fake bumpers like I think
they're there visually. But if you come in hard and
fast at one of those walls, I'm gonna let you
hit it.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
I'm gonna let you gutter it.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Yeah, because I really, I really think that's where people
really get to learn and.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Grow in the gutter.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
In the gutter wrong, Like I mean, I know this
is a sappy ex.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Just landed in the gutter a couple of times.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
Justin When we come back, we'll talk more.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
Got our time. By the way, great my podcast Great Guy.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Worked on here.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
This is when the band starts to break up.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Yoka will continue.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
You're listening to Gary and Shannon on demand from kf
I Am six forty.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Justin Worsham is host of the Dad podcast and joins
us each Wednesday where we tackle parenting. What is going
on with the trends. There's so many trends when it
comes to parenting. We went into Velcrow parents and what
that entails. Gentle parenting continues to kind of make the rounds,
at least on TikTok and social media about more often
(23:52):
not than not. I see you know I've got this
gentle parenting worked, it's working out, it's it's it's happening,
you know, because a kid will have one behavioral win.
And then some people who say this gentle parenting thing
not working out.
Speaker 8 (24:06):
I think if for the ones that I've seen where
gentle parenting is working, I think it's that they're doing it.
Like in this example that I found, this person was
doing gentle parenting but was having all these negative results.
And when they kind of did some self reflection, what
they found is that they had actually transitioned into being permissive,
which is basically anything kind of goes and you want
to be more middle of the road. And I would
(24:29):
perceive gentle parenting as it is authoritarian, but it is
like you're really not raising your voice. You're having a
conversation when you when you feel like instead of saying no,
you're having a conversation where you inform the kid as
to why the answer would be no, instead of just
going no. We're not doing that. And there's no way
(24:49):
I could live in that gentle parenting world.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I don't undertan.
Speaker 8 (24:52):
Trust me, there's parts of me that wishes I was
a stronger person than I could, but I barely like
it's better now that they're teenagers. But there were multiple
times when my kids were younger that I could barely
listen to their stories, Like it was just it was hard,
it was rough.
Speaker 4 (25:04):
They're not interesting people when they're young. Dumb when they're young, Yes,
and boring to a lot of it in a lot
of ways.
Speaker 8 (25:11):
It's such a weird thing to love them so much
at the same time loving somebody who's completely uninteresting.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Isn't that weird?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Is thereah?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Because my wife does it all the time exact?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Is there advice on, you know, listening to kids' stories
when they you know, they're they're of that age where
they like to talk a lot and they're not really
not really saying anything, but you want to show them
that you're interested in what they have to say. But
they need to learn to edit, right, They need to
learn to edit and maybe only speak for the important
stuff or I don't think I ever do they remember
any of that? Like, did I waste a lot of
time with my nephews listening to innate stories?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Well, here's the thing.
Speaker 8 (25:47):
I laughed you because obviously I was a kid who
talked a lot. I talked a lot with adults. My
dad liked me to hang around adults. He thought it
was good for me, and my mom would kind of
give me a hard time about talking a lot. But
when my step mom came into the picture, she would
listen to me all the time, like and was always
like would ask me questions like it's her superpower.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
My mom.
Speaker 8 (26:10):
My stepmom is really really good with kids, like the grandkids,
doesn't matter what age they are, like, she's just always invested.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
And I had moments of that.
Speaker 8 (26:19):
But I also I think there were more moments where
I was engaged in listening, but there were some moments
where I'm just like, I don't have it in the
tank today, Like I just don't.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I'm sorry you don't have the band way.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
It gets a lot better when they're older, But I
think I think it meant I remember it meaning a
lot to me when I was like six and seven
years old that my stepmom would listen to me. So
I don't know that it has to be you. I
think again that we've I've seen data. Really, as long
as you're getting it at least thirty percent of.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
The timember, you're winning a lot. As a child, you didn't.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Talk about I don't remember having like dissertations the way
that some kids have today where they've got like a
yarn they're spinning for quite a while. You know, I
don't remember doing that to adults.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I had cousins.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
We would get together and we would put on shows
for for whoever would watch.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
And it was really awful. It was just awful.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
And I think of it as a parent like, oh,
it's variety show time. Yeah that, and we would always
put a time, We put a time you got, you got, no,
I always okay, you have five minutes. And even cold kid,
(27:26):
well that's the thing is you get a little pitchy dog.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Well they need to learn to edit. They have to
figure that out.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
And also they have to you know, give me a story,
give me a beginning, middle.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
And end.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
But see this is this work on the closer that this.
Speaker 8 (27:39):
Is kind of the in my opinion, like the key
to my parenting philosophy, Like you have gentle parenting where
I just feel like, is everything about making that person
feel good? And all that all I hear when I hear,
when I listen to that is that no part of the.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
Real world is looking to make you feel good when
you leave.
Speaker 8 (27:54):
Your parents' house or the sweet cuddling of your grandmother's arms.
Nobody's trying to go how can I make Justin feel
good about himself today? And I don't understand why this
seems to be so important to us as parents. I'm
not saying that we need to manufacture tearing people down either,
That's not my point. I'm just saying, don't just be
genuine right like you can. It's not hard to genuinely
(28:16):
trust me. I care way more about my kids dumb
stories than what you should.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
Right.
Speaker 8 (28:20):
There's no way that my kid could come in here
and tell a goofy story and you be equally invested
as thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
For letting me off those you're welcome.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
So it's already baked in.
Speaker 8 (28:29):
I think you don't have to worry about manufacturing the interest.
And I don't know how you're doing them any papers
if they're not interesting by telling them there are. I
used to worry because my younger son I would give
a lot of guff to and now he jokes about
it all the time like he gets it.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
And to go back to what Shane was or what
you were saying earlier in terms of you know, there
was a time when we weren't listened to. When we
as kids, we were not expected to involve ourselves in
the conversation of the adults in the room. And we
all know people who have allowed their kids to have
that inaction with adults. And then when they come into
(29:03):
your house or there's a bigger event, they're all involved, and.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
You're like, who is this kid? Who does he think
he is?
Speaker 3 (29:10):
He's not funny, he doesn't know anything that he's talking
about about. You know, we're talking about taxes or divorces
or something like that, and he's like, yeah, tell me
about it, bro, you're fourteen.
Speaker 8 (29:21):
I want all of us to genuinely take some time
to think about do you know anybody whose parents like
love them so much and thought they were so great
and so perfect that actually turned out perfect and interesting.
I've always said that just a little dusting of abuse
makes people interesting. Yeah, but not you know, physical or No,
I'm not dusting. That's what I mean spanking. There's a
(29:42):
lot more comedians that were great in the eighties. I'm
just saying when spanking.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Was also cocaine.
Speaker 8 (29:47):
There's a difference street spanking and beating. And I mean
this sincerely right.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
We've had this discussion before.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
It always causes problems, yes, but.
Speaker 8 (29:56):
Still I think I think all I'm saying is you
could err on the side of not being super nice
to your kid.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
Not everything has to be gentle. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
I think a little abuse is good, right.
Speaker 9 (30:05):
Yeah, it may be dusting shrink, especially if it's unintentional,
you know what I mean, where you're just like, what
I mean is like you had a moment, right, You're
just like, Ah, that was I'm sorry, man, I'm.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Not supposed to do that moment. It's intentional abuse.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Oh my bad?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Right? Isn't it like you can't.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Act in the heat of a moment when you're mad
as a parent, you have to be intentional about punishments.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
I don't think that's realistic though. Realistically you have a moment.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
I don't think you understand about my experience in parenting
and how you should listen to me.
Speaker 8 (30:35):
I'm sorry, you know what. Honestly, you've given me a
lot of profound advice. A lot of them came out
of her gut. I can't wait to tune in the podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
The word profound, because yesterday there was a story calling
diarrhea profound.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
So remember that?
Speaker 8 (30:48):
Yeah, you said that like you genuinely thought you made
that up from a dream.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
You said, wait, you remember that, right, because otherwise I
just said that. I'll allowed for no reason, and we're
running out of time for Elmer to dump this.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Get it, Get it, profound, Profound boy, I think we
you've been listening to The Gary and Shannon Show.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
You can always hear us live on KFI AM six
forty nine am to one pm every Monday through Friday,
and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio ap
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