April 17, 2024 • 10 mins
On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John is under attack from pollen, plus what men really want but are afraid to ask for!
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com
Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com and you can WATCH here: WatchTheThoughtShower.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And Happy Wednesday friends. Welcome tothe Thought Shower intern. John is my
name. The allergies, My god, they're coming, bro not on,
they coming, They're here. UhLike I've been waking up the last couple
of days and just feel like mythroat has been like sprayed with something.
My goodness doesn't help that. Theexperts are always like, uh, don't
(00:24):
let your dog sleep in your bed, and easier said than done. Chew
He's been sleeping in my bed forhis entire life. So part of the
problem was with that is that whenI was in college in the dorms,
like I had typical like college bedwhere it was up like four or five
feet up the ground, so hewould cry unless he is up there with
(00:46):
me. So there's that. Thenwhen I moved out for the first time,
I ain't have a bed, slepton the floor on a footime mattress
so he could just kind of crawlon. And then it got to be
like this is what it is.So it sounds great being like, hey,
no dog's in the bed. Theweird thing is, though, so
(01:07):
like Chewy has to be in bed. He just does like he is the
cuiest thing ever. And I figuredthis to be animal instincts, but he
always has to sleep back to backto me. I think it's like the
animal instinct of like he's watching oneside, I'm watching the other, and
if one of us move, it'slike, you know, waking up our
post. So there's that. Skittleswon't sleep in bed unless it's like a
(01:32):
nap, like that type of vibe. At night, though he sleeps in
the floor otherwise, like although it'sinteresting, like when I get in the
shower, he'll hop on the bedright right away. He got in trouble
this week because on Monday, Iwant to say he kind of ran away
a little bit. Running away isa strong word, but I let him
(01:53):
outside to go to the bathroom,and like the back gate was open,
he just took off. I ain'trealize it because I was just kind of
waiting for the come back. Andthen I'm like, this jackass ran away.
And it must have been he sawsomething and took off, because I
heard him trotting back, and helooked like he knew he made a mistake.
He was like, I'm I'm sorry, I was distracted by a squirrel,
(02:15):
but I'm back now. And sohe was pretty aware that he was
in trouble most of the day.So like when he jumped on the bed
on Tuesday morning after I got theshower, it was very much like a
him testing the water to see ifit was okay, and I was like,
I can't stay mad at you,buddy, How did I get on
this? Oh? Allergies? Yeah, it sucks. Oh god, it's
(02:38):
the worst. Just kind of feelslike I'm coated. And that's like the
an amount of like coffee can clearit up. So you know, I'm
a survivor. I'm not gonna giveup. I'm not gonna stop. I'm
gonna work harder, try harder.How's it go. I'm gonna work harder.
I think I'm pretty sure that's howit goes. To get to this
(03:00):
real quick for your Wednesday again,I appreciate you listening what men want in
a relationship but are afraid to askfor. According to a therapist, number
one of the lists is a listeningear. Damn. They say women often
the species associate with the gift ofgab. However, there's situations where men
(03:23):
need someone they can talk to you, whether any advice person event to you
or simply a listening ear. Ido think that's fair. I think that
a lot of times men we areafraid to let our guard down for fear
of being judge, whether it's byfriends, family, coworkers, whomever.
(03:45):
So a lot of times we don'tdo that. And that's why I think
that if your dude does open up, you have to be extra supportive,
an extra not judge, because itprobably took a lot for him to do
that, and like, if youshut down right away or make him feel
judge, it's never gonna happen again. Dudes are really taught to like kind
(04:06):
of keep your feelings, to seutyourself, be a man, you know,
brush the dirt off whatever. It'sso like it's hard to open up.
I do think, yeah, everydude wants that just to feel like
somebody who will listen. I thinkeverybody in general wants that, which ties
in the next thing. Someone whowon't use information as ammunition. They say,
(04:26):
if a guy talks to you aboutthe deep stuff, don't use his
infos amo for later. If he'sventing about his mom, if it's a
disrespectful and tacky to use those samecomplaints to her, insults at her.
When you get a chance to takea jab. Yes, that goes into
like if we're gonna lower down thearm or lower down the sword, and
then it gets used later on itkind of feels like a bit of a
(04:48):
betrayal, you know, like I'llnever do that again. Dudes wants someone
who won't nag. Yes, Ithink that's a true thing where it's like
I think sometimes dudes feel like theydon't get recognition for the good things they
do, only for the things theyhaven't done. Or it's like I've been
(05:09):
in relationships where it's like I coulddo a hundred right things, but it's
the one thing that wasn't done rightthat seems to be the focus. And
eventually it gets to the point whereit's like whe If you're a dude,
it's like why am I even trying? Like why even try? And that's
why I've said in relationships before,it's like nothing's ever good enough, because
(05:30):
eventually it's like because it's not perfect, it just feels like it's not good
enough. And then as a dude, you're like, well, why am
I even gonna put effort in itsone hundred percent on someone who respects their
family? Obviously they say you don'thave to like his family, but as
long as they haven't cross any boundaries, respect them. It's a common curacy
and gives people dignity. But it'simportant to extend this consideration when talking about
(05:53):
your significant others family. Yeah,I mean that's kind of goes handhand,
certainly goes both ways as well.Me time yes, yes, yes,
yes. They say there's days wheneverybody needs time to themselves. They say
it should go both ways. Iagree with that one hundred percent. Uh,
yeah, everybody needs me time.It's funny. Growing up, we
(06:14):
would ask my dad what he wantedfor like Valan or not Valentine to Day
for his birthday. He'd always saypeace and quiet. Now, as an
adult, I understand that, dude, I understand that so much. But
yeah, that's all I want too, someone who gets their need for physical
intimacy. Yes, they say,in most Germanic relationships, the guy is
(06:35):
more sexually driven. However, thebest way to ensure the boundaries for the
guys and girls are respected is they'reboth to feel comfortable having open and honest
conversations. This allows both to establishwhere they are in the sexual aspect of
relationship. Just as girls want thislevel of comfortabilities set for minds. Guys
do too. Yeah, I dothink like I've been relationships where that's lacking.
(06:59):
At one point, I remember sayingthe next girlfriend, like we're basically
just friends, you know what Imean. It's a huge thing for dudes,
like dudes want to feel desired justas much as women do. Dudes
want to feel like, yeah,we're providing in like that the person who
wants to be with us. It'sa huge thing kind of ties into this.
Dudes want someone who will honor theirlove language. Here's the thing,
(07:21):
though, what are what are thelove languages? Because I feel like I
have all of them? Words ofaffirmation, quality, time, physical touch,
access, service, receiving gifts,maybe not receiving gifts, words of
affirmation, I for sure like physicaltouch for sure. I guess I don't
(07:44):
know. I feel weird because Ifeel like all these things are pretty nice,
you know what I mean. Ithink that's like although physical touch,
yeah, I like, I likebeing cuddled. I want to be a
little spoon, treat me like abunny. What time with their friends?
Yes, I yes, I thinkthat that's one of those things where I
(08:07):
never quite understood in relationships where somebodywon't let somebody else be with their friends.
I have begged exes like, pleasehang with your friends because you need
to have them. Like being withyour friends recalibrates it kind of recalibrates things
and catches things up, and likealso gives you time off, you know
what I mean. And for dudes, like the friend thing is really important.
(08:28):
I think that's like, uh,because dude, friends we don't really
talk during the week and during themonths, like we can continue things when
we see each other again, butcontinue the friendship absolutely. I think it's
a huge thing on both sides ofrelationships. I'm gonna do a couple more
of these others so many good onesthough. The benefit of the doubt,
(08:52):
Yeah, yes, man, thisis tough. If a man hasn't done
anything to break your trust, youowe him the benefit of the doubt.
He might not want to come outand say this because he hopes she has
taken for his word, but believehim if he's believable. If you want
him to honor, inspect who yousay you are, you should show yourself
to be give him some grace.I've told this too, like girls I've
(09:13):
talked to before, and like Iknow that everybody has trauma, everybody's gone
through things that they should have gonethrough. But I said to a girl
once, I was like, hey, like, I know, you went
through stuff that you should absolutely nothave had to go into, absolutely not.
However, you know that's not me, you know, And if ever
(09:35):
it seems like it's me by allmeans, shut me down and you know,
kick me in the tooth, Butit's not. Though. I think
that's a huge thing because it sometimesit feels like you're being punished for the
actions of somebody else, like you'restaraty in deficit because of somebody else's actions.
And then it's kind of like,all right, am I ever gonna
(09:56):
to quote Troy and Gabrielle, I'mever gonna break free? Or is this
how it's gonna be? Thought?This was really good man. I hope
you have a great Wednesday. Thankyou for listenings. Thosh Our
And Happy Wednesday friends. Welcome tothe Thought Shower intern. John is my
name. The allergies, My god, they're coming, bro not on,
they coming, They're here. UhLike I've been waking up the last couple
of days and just feel like mythroat has been like sprayed with something.
My goodness doesn't help that. Theexperts are always like, uh, don't
(00:24):
let your dog sleep in your bed, and easier said than done. Chew
He's been sleeping in my bed forhis entire life. So part of the
problem was with that is that whenI was in college in the dorms,
like I had typical like college bedwhere it was up like four or five
feet up the ground, so hewould cry unless he is up there with
(00:46):
me. So there's that. Thenwhen I moved out for the first time,
I ain't have a bed, slepton the floor on a footime mattress
so he could just kind of crawlon. And then it got to be
like this is what it is.So it sounds great being like, hey,
no dog's in the bed. Theweird thing is, though, so
(01:07):
like Chewy has to be in bed. He just does like he is the
cuiest thing ever. And I figuredthis to be animal instincts, but he
always has to sleep back to backto me. I think it's like the
animal instinct of like he's watching oneside, I'm watching the other, and
if one of us move, it'slike, you know, waking up our
post. So there's that. Skittleswon't sleep in bed unless it's like a
(01:32):
nap, like that type of vibe. At night, though he sleeps in
the floor otherwise, like although it'sinteresting, like when I get in the
shower, he'll hop on the bedright right away. He got in trouble
this week because on Monday, Iwant to say he kind of ran away
a little bit. Running away isa strong word, but I let him
(01:53):
outside to go to the bathroom,and like the back gate was open,
he just took off. I ain'trealize it because I was just kind of
waiting for the come back. Andthen I'm like, this jackass ran away.
And it must have been he sawsomething and took off, because I
heard him trotting back, and helooked like he knew he made a mistake.
He was like, I'm I'm sorry, I was distracted by a squirrel,
(02:15):
but I'm back now. And sohe was pretty aware that he was
in trouble most of the day.So like when he jumped on the bed
on Tuesday morning after I got theshower, it was very much like a
him testing the water to see ifit was okay, and I was like,
I can't stay mad at you,buddy, How did I get on
this? Oh? Allergies? Yeah, it sucks. Oh god, it's
(02:38):
the worst. Just kind of feelslike I'm coated. And that's like the
an amount of like coffee can clearit up. So you know, I'm
a survivor. I'm not gonna giveup. I'm not gonna stop. I'm
gonna work harder, try harder.How's it go. I'm gonna work harder.
I think I'm pretty sure that's howit goes. To get to this
(03:00):
real quick for your Wednesday again,I appreciate you listening what men want in
a relationship but are afraid to askfor. According to a therapist, number
one of the lists is a listeningear. Damn. They say women often
the species associate with the gift ofgab. However, there's situations where men
(03:23):
need someone they can talk to you, whether any advice person event to you
or simply a listening ear. Ido think that's fair. I think that
a lot of times men we areafraid to let our guard down for fear
of being judge, whether it's byfriends, family, coworkers, whomever.
(03:45):
So a lot of times we don'tdo that. And that's why I think
that if your dude does open up, you have to be extra supportive,
an extra not judge, because itprobably took a lot for him to do
that, and like, if youshut down right away or make him feel
judge, it's never gonna happen again. Dudes are really taught to like kind
(04:06):
of keep your feelings, to seutyourself, be a man, you know,
brush the dirt off whatever. It'sso like it's hard to open up.
I do think, yeah, everydude wants that just to feel like
somebody who will listen. I thinkeverybody in general wants that, which ties
in the next thing. Someone whowon't use information as ammunition. They say,
(04:26):
if a guy talks to you aboutthe deep stuff, don't use his
infos amo for later. If he'sventing about his mom, if it's a
disrespectful and tacky to use those samecomplaints to her, insults at her.
When you get a chance to takea jab. Yes, that goes into
like if we're gonna lower down thearm or lower down the sword, and
then it gets used later on itkind of feels like a bit of a
(04:48):
betrayal, you know, like I'llnever do that again. Dudes wants someone
who won't nag. Yes, Ithink that's a true thing where it's like
I think sometimes dudes feel like theydon't get recognition for the good things they
do, only for the things theyhaven't done. Or it's like I've been
(05:09):
in relationships where it's like I coulddo a hundred right things, but it's
the one thing that wasn't done rightthat seems to be the focus. And
eventually it gets to the point whereit's like whe If you're a dude,
it's like why am I even trying? Like why even try? And that's
why I've said in relationships before,it's like nothing's ever good enough, because
(05:30):
eventually it's like because it's not perfect, it just feels like it's not good
enough. And then as a dude, you're like, well, why am
I even gonna put effort in itsone hundred percent on someone who respects their
family? Obviously they say you don'thave to like his family, but as
long as they haven't cross any boundaries, respect them. It's a common curacy
and gives people dignity. But it'simportant to extend this consideration when talking about
(05:53):
your significant others family. Yeah,I mean that's kind of goes handhand,
certainly goes both ways as well.Me time yes, yes, yes,
yes. They say there's days wheneverybody needs time to themselves. They say
it should go both ways. Iagree with that one hundred percent. Uh,
yeah, everybody needs me time.It's funny. Growing up, we
(06:14):
would ask my dad what he wantedfor like Valan or not Valentine to Day
for his birthday. He'd always saypeace and quiet. Now, as an
adult, I understand that, dude, I understand that so much. But
yeah, that's all I want too, someone who gets their need for physical
intimacy. Yes, they say,in most Germanic relationships, the guy is
(06:35):
more sexually driven. However, thebest way to ensure the boundaries for the
guys and girls are respected is they'reboth to feel comfortable having open and honest
conversations. This allows both to establishwhere they are in the sexual aspect of
relationship. Just as girls want thislevel of comfortabilities set for minds. Guys
do too. Yeah, I dothink like I've been relationships where that's lacking.
(06:59):
At one point, I remember sayingthe next girlfriend, like we're basically
just friends, you know what Imean. It's a huge thing for dudes,
like dudes want to feel desired justas much as women do. Dudes
want to feel like, yeah,we're providing in like that the person who
wants to be with us. It'sa huge thing kind of ties into this.
Dudes want someone who will honor theirlove language. Here's the thing,
(07:21):
though, what are what are thelove languages? Because I feel like I
have all of them? Words ofaffirmation, quality, time, physical touch,
access, service, receiving gifts,maybe not receiving gifts, words of
affirmation, I for sure like physicaltouch for sure. I guess I don't
(07:44):
know. I feel weird because Ifeel like all these things are pretty nice,
you know what I mean. Ithink that's like although physical touch,
yeah, I like, I likebeing cuddled. I want to be a
little spoon, treat me like abunny. What time with their friends?
Yes, I yes, I thinkthat that's one of those things where I
(08:07):
never quite understood in relationships where somebodywon't let somebody else be with their friends.
I have begged exes like, pleasehang with your friends because you need
to have them. Like being withyour friends recalibrates it kind of recalibrates things
and catches things up, and likealso gives you time off, you know
what I mean. And for dudes, like the friend thing is really important.
(08:28):
I think that's like, uh,because dude, friends we don't really
talk during the week and during themonths, like we can continue things when
we see each other again, butcontinue the friendship absolutely. I think it's
a huge thing on both sides ofrelationships. I'm gonna do a couple more
of these others so many good onesthough. The benefit of the doubt,
(08:52):
Yeah, yes, man, thisis tough. If a man hasn't done
anything to break your trust, youowe him the benefit of the doubt.
He might not want to come outand say this because he hopes she has
taken for his word, but believehim if he's believable. If you want
him to honor, inspect who yousay you are, you should show yourself
to be give him some grace.I've told this too, like girls I've
(09:13):
talked to before, and like Iknow that everybody has trauma, everybody's gone
through things that they should have gonethrough. But I said to a girl
once, I was like, hey, like, I know, you went
through stuff that you should absolutely nothave had to go into, absolutely not.
However, you know that's not me, you know, And if ever
(09:35):
it seems like it's me by allmeans, shut me down and you know,
kick me in the tooth, Butit's not. Though. I think
that's a huge thing because it sometimesit feels like you're being punished for the
actions of somebody else, like you'restaraty in deficit because of somebody else's actions.
And then it's kind of like,all right, am I ever gonna
(09:56):
to quote Troy and Gabrielle, I'mever gonna break free? Or is this
how it's gonna be? Thought?This was really good man. I hope
you have a great Wednesday. Thankyou for listenings. Thosh Our
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