EITM: Out On A Limb 7/23/24

Treehouse committee on family rules.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Your family has a family tree.Yes, they were doing research before I
started, but I've been doing itfor ten plus years. Have you really?
Yeah, what year do you goback to? Which line? Like,
if what's what's the earliest, what'sthe what is the earliest you can

(00:24):
go back to. I've traced myone Scottish line breath to Robert de Bruce
in Scotland. Okay, I don'tknow what year that was really early?
Okay you can't, sam ma'am,you can't. Just okay, but people

(00:45):
don't know who Robert the Bruce is. Thirteen hundred. Wow, dude,
Yeah, well that's your winner.Nobody's going to beat that. Like,
if somebody told me they went backto like nineteen oh five, I'd be
like, that's impressive. So yougo back to the thirteen hundreds. How
big can that one in line is? Yeah? How big is the family

(01:06):
tree? Like to lay all thatout, it's got to be the size
of like a like a like almostlike a room. Oh sure, I
haven't done the whole thing, youknow, on a piece of paper like
that. And is it I'm sorry, what did you say? Your first
name was Emily? Emily right.I don't know why Diana was telling me,
Olivia, y the are you areyou married? Yes? So,

(01:32):
and you're just so are you doingyour husband's side also or just your side?
That's my side. His family hasdone a little on his side.
I've poked at it a little bit. I haven't gone back as far on
his side. We got you startedjust out of curios. Oh you said
somebody was doing it and you tookit over about ten years ago. Yeah,

(01:53):
my family had already been interested init. I really got into it
because of their research. And uhmy family had had a dream of being
in the d R, so Ihelped them get that and uh wow,
and just it was fun. Dude, that's really that's really impressive. Like
did you learn, Like, listen, every family's got good and every family's

(02:17):
got bad. Did you did youlearn? Did you learn some things that
you wish you wouldn't have and converselylearn some things that you didn't know where
you were Like that's amazing. Ohyeah, there's tons of amazing things,
and you're always going to dig upthings that are like whoa, Okay,
yeah, but I mean sure,yeah, give me one amazing thing.

(02:40):
Yeah, amazing thing. I mean, going back that far was amazing.
Uh. Helping my grandma get intothe d A R was amazing. Oh
no, No, I meant likeabout a relative, like a relative that
did something. You were like,Wow, that guy's pretty cool. A

(03:02):
more recent relative. I don't care. I don't know who Bruce the Hugger
is, but whatever, I reallyno, I'm putting you on the spot.
I realized that. I realized that, So what's cool to her?
She's trying to find something that wouldappeal to the masses. It may be

(03:23):
special to her and her fae's true. That's fair, and she knows you
and your your high bar for welllisten, that is that's impressive. Thirteen
hundreds is impressive, Emily. Iappreciate the phone call. Thank you,
ma'am, thank you. Did youever do one? Not you, but
the family. I feel like likesome aunts or uncles did one, like

(03:44):
at least went back to like EllisIsland to see when those relatives came over.
I feel like my mom tried tostart one and then just like gave
it. I don't want to saygave up. It was just like,
man, whatever what motivated her?I don't know. I have no idea,
I have no clue. I thinkthat for our families. One that

(04:08):
my grandparents did. On my dad'sside, it was just fascination with genealogy
every waking moment. That was herhobby, Like that's what she likes.
You have to be invested to getit done, like you have to be
invested. And I think that's whatthe tree sort of was the culmination of
years of dedication to this research.It wasn't so much I want to map

(04:31):
it out from day one. Itwas like, I'm very interested in this
stuff. And then the tree sortof organically came about. And then of
course this framed piece of art thatthey made was at the very end.
Does genealogy well, let me asksomebody who does it? Where am I
going? Line five? Hi Elliotin the morning. Hello, Hello,

(04:55):
yes sir, Yes it is,yes it is. Oh hey, how
are you doing to this? I'mdoing well? Are you are? Are
you a family tree guy? Yeah? I am at about twenty two generations,
Oh my god, back into Scotland. But we got here in sixteen

(05:17):
fifty one into Calvert, Maryland.Prior of that, back to it was
the thirteen ninety two you taught youtraced your your family history back to the
thirteen hundreds also best correct nobody likeRobert the Bruce. We're just yeah,

(05:43):
no, you weren't royals. Theuh no, you know what that is
absolutely not that that's impressive. Hey, now do you keep it? Or
is it like a family project?My brother and I are kicking it.
Is there a lot of debate aboutwho to include and who to not include?

(06:11):
Well, there's there's questions sometimes yousay, you know, it's actually
part of the family or not adoptedkids, because a lot of it has
to do it right and for thosewe try to keep just on our direct
line from our father, and that'sright. Adopted kids are not existing for
you pretty much. Yeah, yeah, that's a big debate in genius.

(06:35):
Yeah yeah, well because they're notpart of your family. But you're when
you're depicting the family tree and youdon't even people who are children say yet,
and children are then shown under parents, you do not put adopted kids.
They're not part of the family lineageor is there like an asterisk?
The afn't have any adopted so itwasn't a problem. Well, I mean,

(06:56):
listen, steps are in the samething. Really, they're not your
kids. But what about the Yeah, they're not on the like for example,
you thank you, sir. Yeah, they don't follow. They don't
follow your lineage. So like let'ssay, let's say Lindsay had kids prior

(07:16):
to meeting you, and your familyis doing your family tree right, so
they would go Tyler and Lindsay inNow, if you two had kids together,
they would be on the tree becausethat follows your lineage. Lindsay's kids
don't matter from a previous relationship.Yeah, they're your step kids. They're
not your kids. Wow. Man, that probably leads to some fights.

(07:43):
Oh, apparently it's a big deal. Like, for instance, mine don't
even don't even bring up gay parentswith kids. Oh god, that starts
a whole other thing. One ofmy children had to make a family tree
for school. So it wasn't mom, dad, brother, There weren't many
branches, There weren't many branches,but my I think it was my son

(08:07):
or it wasn't my daughter who hadthis project. But whoever. It was
said to me, wait, don'tyou have step siblings? And I was
like, not for this, No, you're right to say no. But
I wasn't trying to be meet.I was just like, no, let's
just keep this nice and can getno no, But you would be a
poster board like like on your familytree, Tom doesn't exist. Tom's face

(08:30):
wasn't on there, Sarah's face wasn'ton there, and they shouldn't, like
even on a real family tree,they shouldn't. That's odd to me though,
but that's how it works. Soif the family tree is, it
depends on what side of the family. Isn't supposed to be an honest depiction
of the family. It isn't honestthe bloodline. That's what the tree is.

(08:50):
It is when you're building the programto WrestleMania. But this is rock.
This isn't a third grade thing.This is like I thought I thought
they were. I didn't know therewas actual We always joked last break,
we joked about family medical history.I thought a family tree that wasn't really
what you were trying to glean fromit. You were just trying to see

(09:13):
the history of your family. Yes, and the history of your family.
Isn't your wife's kids from a previousfamily, but isn't her family tree can
have them, but yours can't.They're not they're not part of your say,
weird because they're not blood that theywouldn't be included. Then don't adopt
if you're if you're big on genealogy, don't adopt so has adopted kids.

(09:37):
It's it's the same thing. Yeah, like where I told you my grandparents
did actually make a real piece ofart with well, when you say real,
do I have to put that inair quotes? No? But does
this? At first? I waskind of being silly with the fighting.
But if a family in their livingroom's going to put something up and there

(10:00):
choosing not to include children who aremaybe present all the time, who would
Yeah, that would be awful.Don't include. Don't don't confuse. By
the way, I've eaten a lotof stuff on the air. Watermelon may
be the hardest. I'm gonna movethat aside. Don't confuse family tree with

(10:22):
your family so sore? Where theso you could hang that up? We're
talking about it like amateur. Let'ssay Let's say let's say you, Tom,
and Sarah are are all living athome with your mom and and Bob.
Right, so Logan is is andLogan's there too. You and Logan

(10:45):
could be on that tree the otherthree or not. And if Tom was
like, well, what gives I'min the family be like, yes,
our family, but not the familytree, but not the family you know,
the real one. Yes, that'show it listen. If my family
was doing one, my brother wouldn'tbe allowed to be on there. He
was adopted, Yeah, he wouldn'tbe allowed. Step kids are not part

(11:09):
of your family. Let this bea warning to those that are like,
genealogy sounds fun. No, no, no, and it is the only
The only place where it's not funis you cannot be diehard genealogists an adopt
a kid like, it's you can'tbecause that that ends your tree. Like
if they're like, you can onlyadopt, that's it. And you're big

(11:31):
into genealogy, you know where thattree ends at you because your adopted kids
don't count. Where am I goingnow? That is? That is if
you take it by the letter ofthe law. I'm sure there are people
that fudge it and go, ohadopted to not hurt feelings, but then
make them feel as though you're partof the family. So let me ask

(11:54):
you this. I'm doing a familytree. I know. Let's say I
give I give my child up foradoption and it goes to live with Diane.
Right, it's Scott. Yeah,Diane's putting together a family tree and
I'm putting together a family tree.That kid is that kid is on my
tree. Okay, well it's mykid, it's not your kid, So

(12:15):
i'll bloodline is there, so I'lltell the child when I'm eliminating them from
our family tree. Don't worry.I'm sure your bio dad has you on
that family That is actually the rightthing to say, because he seemed like
a real stickler for that. No, No, that scene that is that
is actually the child should thank you, because that is actually the right thing
to do. You can't both claim. You can't two and that's that's the

(12:39):
whole thing. Two people can't claimthe same tree. What about half siblings?
You got to remind me what thatis different. If my mom and
Bob had had a child, that'dbe my half brother. Yes, it
could be on your tree, andit could be No. No, it

(13:00):
could be on your tree, andit could be on Bob's tree, but
not mixed in. If it's onBob's tree, can't be with Logan.
And if it's on your tree,can't be with Tom and Sarah. Are
Diana and I and Kristen? Didyou know this stuff, these rules.
You knew these rules because people areacting like we're morons, myself and Diane.

(13:20):
Yeah, they're not your real kidfrom snapchat? Does Tyler think previous
spouses should be on there? No? I wouldn't have gone that far.
Why not? Well, you're right, I just I don't like the idea
of if you're actually going to dothis and maybe even make something that a
kid could see, and then allof a sudden they'd be like, why

(13:43):
is my name not on there?Because you're not part of the family tree.
Why is this so hard to explainit? You're not telling kids unnecessarily
crappy. No, but you're notbeing rude to the child, you know
what I mean? Like you're treatingit like you're being rude to the kids.
If you're not say tree, andthat's sentence you're saying, because you're
not part of the family, thefamily tree you, it's you. You

(14:07):
don't separate this. I keep trying, I keep reiterating it, and she's
just crying. Now, the guywho actually fathered you, you're a part
of his family tree. How doesKristen have some familiarity with this? She
is adopted, Hi Kristin good morning. Do you guys have a family tree?

(14:28):
Yeah, my dad's said really yeah. My answer are like hardcore?
Are they really? So they knowadopted step children, children of same sex
parents, that you fall into allof this? Yes, so like for
example, my on my dad's side, try to follow. Oh god,
and then you know this is likesmall town, but it's like it's a

(14:50):
restaurant. Everyone is slept with everyone. Yeah, okay, So my dad
was remarried from his second marriage.He had a daughter who is now my
older half sister. So under mydad is your mom his third wife?
Yes, okay, so under mydad's name, it's just my sister's name.

(15:15):
But then there's a dash over tomy mom with the three of us
down. Correct. Yes, sothen when my dad that's it right,
so that that first kid is notpart of your family. Well, she's
my half. She's my half.She's on the worn side, the same

(15:35):
father. Oh yes, then we'reokay, follows the Yeah, it follows
the Y chromosome. I believe ingenealogy. Now on my mom's side,
oh god, my aunts and uncles. They every family reunion, they asked,
like new marriages, new babies,YadA, YadA, YadA. Uh
so, well real babies. Yes, it's not your adopted or somebody that

(16:00):
if somebody at the reunion had adopteda child, that kid would not be
included. Not on the tree.No to the picnic document it oh here
here, here's a CAPRICEO. Stoptalking. It all gets documented. But
when they're filling the tree out,it's not so like when I got married,

(16:22):
I now have three step children.Not according to the tree, you
don't the antikes. Mike's tree hasthree, yours is barren. So on
Mike's side, it's just the sameas my dad. So it would be
Mike with three right over to meright with zero. Yes, if we
have more kids, then it wouldthen branch out right, But then you
couldn't include so you and Mike thenyou could have your own tree. But

(16:47):
the daughters Mike's daughters, your stepdaughters, you would have to tell them
you're not family tree. They know, they know, they know. Yeah,
they're old enough to know, yeah, because they're like, uh.
By the way, anytime a childlooks at you, and they do at
that age where they go you're notmy real mom, you go, yeah,
I know, that's why you're noton the tree, and so like

(17:08):
when we went we went to Ohiofor summer break, so they got to
meet my biological nieces and nephews.Right, we're on they call them friends.
Well, they were like, sothis is my step cousin, right,
I said, yes, oh,you gotta let that go. I
know. But at that point,but they're not on the Warren's family tree.

(17:30):
No, and nobody calls them stepcousins. No, they're actually nothing.
Anyway, Tyler and Diane, doyou understand where are you Someone mentioned
this, where are you on?Godparents? I'm not Catholics, so we
don't have those. Okay, godparentsare not related? Correct? Yeah?

(17:52):
Why would they be people godparents onfamily trees? If they're not, you're
going to walk out of the buildingand just say to somebody, do you
want to be on our tree?That's that's as close to you as they
are. Godparents. Why would youeven you would put Aaron on it?
He's your boss, isn't just aguardian if something happens, You're not.
No god parents by the traditional definitionis like you're responsible for the religious to

(18:18):
facilitate the religious upbringing of this kid. You're your your obligations and that karahara
poopoo poop and you are done.So it was an Instagram message. Is
that person perhaps very very religious andmaybe for that reason the gop would be
included. Maybe No, you wouldnever know, You would never include your
Your family tree is in a spiritualline. Your family tree is a is

(18:42):
a bloodline, bloodline, right,Okay, who else can we exclude?
But it's not excluding anybody. It'show about middle children? No, no,
no, no, see, Idon't I don't like your termin I
don't like your terminology of excluding.You're not excluding somebody. You are including

(19:03):
people in the family. You're excludingpeople. You're not excluding people because you're
you're saying you should be on thefamily tree. But we're going to exclude
you because like maybe you had abad history. Just because you're adopted,
you don't belong on the tree.You don't get to be on a lot
of trees. It's blood that doesn'tGod bless you, and it does it

(19:26):
follows the Y chromosome. Yes,all right, very good, Thank you,
Kristen. Does that make sense?Oh? Wait, who's standing there?
Oh Dennis is outside? You wantme to ask him if he wants
to be on your tree, butchicken loafs asking asking if I'd like to
include pets. I'm sorry, andthis is funny because my grandmother was so

(19:51):
into it. I just I didn'tknow it was so strict. But was
she wrong in the tree that shebuilt. I I'm trying to picture it.
I can see all those birthstones andI can it was a gold background
and the frame was gold too littlegaudy, I would say, trashy,

(20:11):
just something over the top vegas.I I can see see we had I
have on that side when it comesto those two grandparents, and yes,
they have their parents, and I'mnot as familiar with their stories. But
then when you go to their children, so my two aunts and my father,

(20:33):
there hasn't until everyone had children.There hadn't been divorce or steps or
it was a pretty straightforward tree.And then my name was on there,
and so we're like my cousins,but they hadn't they then my grandma died,
so the cousins relationships and my andmy cousin's been married a few times

(20:56):
like they but they didn't when itwas framed. That hadn't happened yet.
By the way. That's how likeif you go back through like like real
hardcore genealogy when you get to likethe the and I'm not saying this to
be to be negative at all,but this is this is go back to
the thirteen hundreds when there was thewoman who was married two or three times.

(21:18):
That's why she got labeled the familytramp because she messed up, becausees,
yes, oh, yes, theold family tramp. What do I
care? Where am I going?Like? What do you care? All
you've done is tell us how youknow how many times somebody is married?
But you just can't put it on. But they would be like, oh,

(21:41):
we don't talk about Mary. She'sthe family tramp. She got thirty
seven kids, none of them areon the tree. Oh. Chris though,
says godparents can be blood. Youcould. I thought that you couldn't
do that. My godfather is myuncle, come to think of it,
your real uncle. I'm godmophew.Waity again, I'm godmother to my nephew,

(22:08):
real nephew. Yes, yes,my brothers. Yeah, can I
ask the I did? I didn'tknow you could do that. I didn't
know you could do that. Butnow I'm interested to know all of the
religious leadings that you've brought us whatI was like, Okay, I'm like,
good choice. I've never been askedto be a godparent, right,
mm hmm. We're not Catholic.The I also didn't know can a Jew

(22:34):
be a godparent? Is godparents?Is that only a Catholic thing? I
don't know, Diane, you're theone that is one. It's it's multiple
denominations in Christianity. The so Jewsdon't. I don't think Jews have godparents.
But is there something similar though?Is there something that's the Yeah,
like he said, the equivalent,Yeah, Rabbi, what is the what

(22:55):
is the According to this Canter,officially, in Judaism, we do not
have godparents. It is not aJewish tradition, right, but can a
Jew? Do you? Jewish familiesmay appoint them if they wish. Oh
that was just so open minded.But like Diane, there are no attending
religious obligations. It is an honorarytitle. But like would a would it
would with somebody whose Catholic wouldn't askme to be a godparent because I'm Jewish,

(23:19):
probably not well Jewish and nonpracticing.So there's two strikes. Number three
not even I can't be on thetree out where am I going mine?
Five? Hi elliot in the morning. Hello, Hi, who's this?
Hi? I am going to remainanonymous. Oh are you the are you

(23:42):
the family tramp? No? Idid a family tree on my husband,
who is a bastard son. Ohwait, how did you? How did
you find out? How far so? Were you able to go back as

(24:03):
far as him? Well? Itwas interesting because I was actually doing it
to find the history on his mom'sside, who raised him, right,
But there was nothing on her,and there was absolutely everything on his father's
side, who never accepted or youknow, claimed him as his son,

(24:26):
his biological father, biological father.Yep. Family tree anyway, So while
you guys were you guys were talkingabout, you know, who can be
on the tree and who couldn't beon the tree? I was thinking,
well, where does the bastard funLike, No, he goes on the
tree of the biological father. Butwhoever raised him, he can't go on

(24:49):
that tree. He's not part ofthat family. Well, no, he
was with his biological mom, butthe father was never in the picture.
Right, But that that's whose treehe goes on. If you're following that
line, that's whose tree he's on. Yep. Yep, and big Scottish

(25:10):
family. Huge How far back?How far back did you go? I
was about the fifteen hundred. Wow? Wow, that is I will say
this. That is thank you,ma'am. That is impressive. Like I
don't have the time or like reallythe desire, like that's a lot of
work. But to be able totrace your family back to there were two

(25:33):
people from the thirteen hundred, somebodyfrom the fifteen hundreds, that is impressive.
But maybe if someone got you asubscription to one of these applications,
maybe you'd make the time because thedesire would start to burn inside you.
But I wouldn't even know who tocall, like for example, like use
my like I only like I onlymet I never met my dad's parents,

(25:55):
right, but I know he hadparents, so I could trace back there
all my dad in both his siblingsor dad. I don't know who else
I would even call that would knowthat side of the family. That's why
you say it's or they say it'simportant to have like conversations with older relatives
as they're getting up in years becausea lot of that stuff is just up

(26:17):
in their head. All right,So what do you want me to do
now? Hey, can you hearme? I'm just like, I can't
like. Maybe it doesn't like you, but it's helpful for other people.
Why don't you call up Manitoba micAgain, he's got a head start,
right, Meltzer's all in with thearchives. But remember remember, oh wait,

(26:41):
hold on one second line five.I gotta figure this one out.
Hi, Elliott the morning. Hey, this is Puerto Rico, sy Rico.
Yes, sir, what can Ido for you? Oh? God?
Hey? So, uh you knowhow in South America one takes the
name of their father and then theirmother their maiden's last name. No,

(27:03):
so not well, Uh, mycousin his parents are the brother of my
mom married to the sister of mydad. So I am. My last
name is A B coming from mydad and then my mom, and then
my cousin's name is last name isB A that he takes after the opposite

(27:26):
ones. Now, his grandparents arethe same grandparents that I have. You
share one with your cousins, whetherfrom mom or dad. We share all
of our grandparents. He's adopted.He's not part of the family tree.
Sorry, no, he's not.I don't I don't sure that that feels

(27:47):
like some kind of law was brokenor something. I don't know what.
You can hear whoa we've been asked, but yeah, no, nons,
we're broken there, all right.Yeah, I don't even know what you

(28:07):
ain't got a tree. I don'teven know what that is. No,
my cousin doesn't we we we do. We go all the way to let's
just Italy. Let's just make iteasy. Let's just make it easy.
The kid was adopted. He's notpart of the family tree. Move on,
right, that's it. By theway, I'm still working. I'm
still working on the chant for whenwe go watch a Capitol's game. All

(28:30):
right, Oh that's right. Iremember you. I remember you. All
right, very good, very good, Thank you, my friend, Thank
you, sir.