February 14, 2025 • 40 mins
On Valentine’s Day we celebrate our love for one another! Celebrity Photographer and Award-Winning Podcaster Kerry Brett has turned her dating bloopers into a touching book of self-discovery. Her 28-year photography career has included celebrities such as Bill Belichick, Conan O’Brien, Rachael Ray, and more! Brett shared excerpts from “Shot@Love: A Celebrity Photographer’s Unfiltered Lens on Dating and Finding Love.”
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's night with Dan Ray. I'm Delli Fleas, Boston News Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
All Right, it's Valentine's Day night.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I hope all of you have had a wonderful Valentine's Day.
It's that day during the year when all of us
focus on our love lives and whether they're satisfactory to
us or whether they're not. Some Valentine's days are good.
Some Valentine's days are not so good. And with us
tonight to celebrate Valentine's Day and the release of her
(00:33):
new book, Shot at Love is Boston photographer really an
extraordinary person and a friend of mine.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm a friend of their families.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
The Brett family of Dorchester who produced these fabulous photographers,
and certainly right there amidst amidst the best of them
is Carrie Brett. Carrie Brett, welcome back to Nightside.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
How are you hi? How are you happy?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Valanin Times day and yeah, well for you right now
it is it is a good Valentine's Day. And uh,
but it has been a very interesting journey that you
have been on. You're an award winning photographer. Uh, You've
(01:19):
You've done photo shoots with some very big name celebrities.
You've you know, shot for uh Boston Common magazine, the
Globe magazine for many years. You were the chief photographer
for The Improper Bostonian, which many of our listeners will remember.
(01:41):
You also now have a top rank dating podcast, and
that dating podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Is really what we're going to talk about tonight. And
the book that has.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Come out of that dating podcast is today, the day
the book actually has been been released.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
The book has been live on Amazon for ten days
with a push for the launch of Valentine's Day. So
we did a short press push to celebrate Single Awareness Day,
which singles call Valentine's Day because on Valentine's Day, it
(02:21):
shines a light on the fact that you may be
looking for love or you might be unhappy that you're alone,
and it can be a hard day. So sure, Valentine's
Day was the first with the launch day of my
show five years ago, and I thought, wouldn't it be
great to launch the book on the fifth anniversary of
(02:43):
the show.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, you were in a great relationship at this point,
but you had some rough Valentine's Days over the last
few years, correct, And that's.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Part of the book, right, I had a lot of
lonely holidays and sad Valentine's Days. I have a hard
time with holidays in general, and I think it's because
I had so much hardship when it came to the
love department. And I'm very mindful and empathetic to those
(03:19):
who feel left out or alone or have lost somebody.
And if you've lost someone that you've loved, whether our
relationship is ended or that passed away, it can be
very trying. And I wanted to create a movement in
a community for people to feel less alone. So that's
(03:39):
what I've done with my show.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah, and the podcast is going well as I understand
it correct, It's gone great.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
I love it. I love every minute of it. I
bring the most amazing people into my life. The episodes
that I produce are fascinating to me. And I say
all the time that I think I created the show.
I created the show for people who were struggling and
people who are having a hard time on dating apps
because I was one of those people. And and in
(04:12):
the end, I think I actually did that show for
me because it's so rewarding. It makes me so happy
that I can help people.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Well, let's I want to talk about it and it's
it's interesting you you disclosed to me the other day
that there came a point in your life where you
were working and your your relationship fell apart. A lot
of people have relationships that fall apart. And I'm sure
(04:42):
that first Valentine's Day was tough. Your birthday also, as
I understand, is February eleventh, so you could have sort
of had the double whammy, if you will, of a
few tough birthdays backed up by some tough Valentine's Days.
Tell us some just just you know, sketch out the story,
and then I want to sketch out all the people
(05:05):
who you have interviewed, who you have photographed, and what
lessons you've learned from this entire experience.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Okay, so let me take you back about twenty years ago.
My marriage was falling apart, and I had a one
year old and I was getting divorced, and I went
through a three year custody battle that was very difficult,
and I found myself dating with a baby on my hip,
(05:33):
pre dating apps or cell phones or texting or any
of those things. And then I was in a long
term relationship for eight years and the bottom fell out
of that suddenly as they do, and I had one
of my very young photography assistants decided to put me
(05:53):
on Tinder, and so I became an early evolution dating
app user of Tinder, and my whole world opened up.
And little by little, by using the dating app, one
swipe and one day at a time, I rebuilt my
life back and slowly rebuilt my confidence. So where I
was struggling was that I was a successful person on paper.
(06:16):
I was a business owner. I had a high pressure
job photographing covers for the leading leading city magazine, and
I had no information and I was I certainly couldn't
tell anyone what was behind the lens of my life,
and I desperately tried to help myself, and I couldn't
(06:37):
because I didn't have any strategy. But I did have
this little device call Tender that changed everything for me
and Jerry.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Was there not a period of time when many people
were certainly you know those so sort of dating apps
had just come along, But it wasn't something that you
were going to probably advertise that you were on Tinder.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Wasn't this sort of a stigma at some point attached
to that into It wasn't something that you would be advertising.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I'm on Tinder right well.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Right, No, certainly not as a single mom living in Hingham.
I think I joked that I was probably one of
the only people at the time because it was new
and so people didn't know anything about it. But also
to get divorced with the baby back then was also
difficult and not the norm, and so I was a
(07:35):
trailblazer in that sense. But that was my reality, that
was my situation, and I had to trail a.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Tough trail to blaze, to carry it is it is.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
But I wasn't afraid of dating apps. I made my
own decision. I listened to my intuition and I had
luck there and I liked it, and I had a
lot of luck because I don't think I had a
lot of competition because there wasn't a lot of women
in my age at forty three on it. And then
I also knew that online dating with marketing and branding
(08:13):
at its best, and that was something that I was
an expert in. And so God, do you have a question, jam.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, yeah, In other words, is this part of the book?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
In other words, that you've written this book to basically
give other people who find themselves in a bad situation
that has that has either disappeared or as you say,
the bottom.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Has fallen out.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Is part of this book to basically show the world, Hey,
if you can do it and you can pull yourself
back into a better place, other men and other women
can do it as well.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Right. So originally that was the first idea of the
original concept of a book, was that, Okay, I have
all this information that I've learned about online dating, but
then it would be kind of I'd be talking. I
would be teaching or preaching or something like that. And
(09:15):
I'm a big fan of the Chicken Soup for the
Soul series and Jack Canfield. No, Jack Canfield was a
teacher and before he was a writer, and he realized
that how he taught his students was he would come
up with these elaborate stories and then he could teach
(09:38):
teach his students through these elaborate, elaborate stories. And I
always felt that I was that my father was exactly
like Jack Canfield. I mean he holds corner Duncan Donuts
for two hours a day telling stories. I mean he
just I know where his schedule, where his hit his
setlist is every day because wherever he goes there's a
(10:00):
large crowd, And because I'm justlike him and Irish and
love to tell stories, I had all these wild tales
about dating, but they spanned over twenty years and it
all happened in the city of Boston, with the background
(10:21):
being the magazine. So I had all these fabulous characters
and subjects who were my friends that lived through all
this with me, And I thought, well, this is a
Netflix series. This is something really entertaining, so you don't
have to be looking for love to love this book.
And a lot of people don't really know what to
(10:45):
think of me, I think, and they put me in
lots of different boxes and lots of different categories. But
the truth be told, more men listen to my shows
than women, and more men are fans of this book
so far. Divorce men love it and they desperately need
help as well as women, so I help both.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
All right, well, let's do this.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I got to take a pause on that positive point,
and we will continue our conversation and if people would
like to compare notes or ask questions, Carrie's going to
stick with us.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
For a while here.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I hope we stay talking about this until eleven o'clock
it's Valentine's Day again. I hope all of you are
with someone you love. If you're not, fear not, there
will be other Valentine's Day, and there will be days,
and it will be other Christmases and other birthdays and
all of that, and not everyone is lucky in love
(11:43):
and able to fall in love with their high school
sweetheart and remain married for seventy years till death do
you part. Most people go through these days that these statistics,
statistics tell us at least one divorce, maybe more, and
certainly many breakups along the way. With us. Carrie Brett
(12:05):
an award winning photographer. She's the lead photographer of a
magazine that many of us missed, The Improper Bostonian. She
has shot photographs and pictures for just about any journal
that you could imagine. Her new book out today, Shot
at Love, a Memoir by Carrie Brett. She kind of
(12:28):
just tells the story of being as as she said,
after hitting rock bottom. She became an early adopter of
dating apps at age forty three while balancing life as
a single mom. She has this podcast, she has this book,
and I'm sure she'd love to chat with you. Six
(12:49):
ten thirty six thirty back with Carrie Brett talking about
a shot at love on Valentine's Day. Uh. And if
you're out there and you need a tip as to
how to get back on the circuit, how to get
back in the game, Carrie's here.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
We'll be back right after this.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
My guest is Carrie Brett, an award winning host of
Top Rank Dating podcast Carrie Brett. Carry, you are out
on as a single mom. You were out dating for
how many years be found before you found the actual
love of your life who you've been with now for
(13:38):
some time?
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Yes, about on and off for about two years, because
I kept going back and I also so, so the
relationship had ended, but I had a couple of more
times that of the back and forth. Yeah, and then
I I was in short term relationships, which I found
(14:05):
myself having these back to back short relationships. And throughout
all these failed relationships is where the learning and the
growth came. And I didn't know it at the time
that I was becoming the person that I was supposed
to be to pull in the right person. So I
had to pull in the wrong person and have all
(14:26):
these no's to move towards the U s.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It's kind of it's a tough story.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Are you still in touch with your former husband with
whom you had.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
A child?
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Well that was that story is twenty That story isn't
in the book because there's other stories, and also it's
the father of my daughter. So I decided to okay
to leave that out, you know, for my daughter, which
was understandable. But there's plenty of unbelievable stories in there
(15:13):
that touch upon But I think a lot of people,
a lot of single people go through.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Well I want to get to those, but before that,
just to get you in focus and in context, here
give us the names of as you were going through this,
you were you know of of this, this, I don't
know what you want to call it, journey, this search whatever.
(15:39):
You were in your in your job, in your profession.
You were meeting and photographing some very exciting celebrities as well,
and you you learned What did you learn from from
those celebrities? I mean they we see the celebrities and
(16:00):
you assume that their lives are all perfect, But you
get to spend a lot of time with a lot
of these celebrities, and I assume that you came to
realize that their lives were not perfect.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Well, I don't think there's any person who goes through
this classroom really, which is what I call earth. This
is not supposed to be heaven. We're supposed to learn
and the struggle is may look different for other people,
but people struggle through all sorts of heartbreak and all
(16:37):
sorts of challenges. And when I photograph people, I can
cut away all the exterior and see their heart and
see the type of person that they are. I'm not
friends with all the celebrities that I photographed. I may
have not clicked or connected with them in such a way.
But the people that are in my book I did,
(16:58):
and I was huge fans of and because of the
kindness and the generosity that they had within their hearts,
they helped me along the way. And you know they
say when a window closes or a door, you know whatever,
the saying is that someone will show up.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
And be that one door closes, another door opens. I'm
very fooliar with that, and I've experienced out in my life.
Let me ask you this before we go to break here,
just give me a list of some of the celebrities
people will meet in this book.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Shot at Love Sure, So we start with my best friend,
the Wing Girl, another single mother, my friend Kelly Doyle,
who we can't do this with our friends, so she's
the first friendship. She gets married long before I find love,
but she teaches me about worthiness and if you don't
(17:49):
have worthiness, then you're not You're certainly not going to
find love. And then I take you through the different
people that worked with me at the improper celebrity writer
Jonathan Sorov financer and celebrity writer John Spooner. These were
(18:10):
two guys my publisher, Wendy Simonian epic. She marries the
general manager of our magazine, our local digs. He definitely
dug Wendy and they got married at that wedding. I
meet someone who didn't know it at the time while
I was single. I would find I think twelve or
(18:31):
fifteen years later on Tinder a lot of so some
of the celebrities, Chris Cooper taught me some valuable lessons.
Steve Carell, Tim Wakefield. I photographed a lot of Red
Sox players for twenty eight years every year for the
Red Sox Edition issue and Tim was someone that I
(18:54):
connected the most with and he helped me every spring
season and it was just a really kind person, great
great man. Lucky to have known him. Let's see my mentor,
Jeff Lubin helps me with my dating breakthrough. And then
(19:17):
I date a whole cast of characters that their names
have been changed and their identities and all that, so
you don't know who they are.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
You also, by the way, have a pretty good relationship.
I recall with Bill Belichick.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Well, Bill, it was always very good to me, very
kind to me. A photograph him twice for two covers.
And Julian Edelman is in the book. He is He's
that scrappy player who, oh yeah, I align with because
he had the determination and the grit to to do
(19:58):
the I mean, he his mind just shows that he
was told no. I think a lot of these celebrities
were told no throughout their career and that made them
kind of feel sorry for me because I was being
told no. Not at the magazine, but I was being
(20:18):
told no through dating, and so that's that's what happens. Though.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Let me take a break. We've got to We've got
a newscast coming up again. Feel free to join the conversation, folks.
This is Valentine's Night. My guest Carrie Brett. She's an
award winning photographer and host of a top rank dating podcast,
and her book Shot at Love is a memoir of
her life, which has been in many ways an extraordinary
(20:49):
life and also in many ways a similar life to
what most of us have lived, ups and downs, as
many ups or as many downs, as many ups, and
she kind of bears her soul in this book. And
if you'd like to chat, we got some numbers for
you six one, seven, two, four, ten thirty or six
(21:11):
one seven, nine to three, one ten thirty. Back on
Night Side with Carrie Brett right after this news break
at the bottom of the hour. It's Valentine's Day night
here in Boston and all around the world, It's.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Night Side with Ray on Boston's news radio.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
My guess it's Carrie Brett, her new book, Shot at Love.
And again you have to understand the double onendre here
that covers beautiful Carrie Brett herself is a beautiful woman
who comes from a tremendous family and has been through
I guess the grinder is the way you describe it.
It's described. The book is described as a fearless and
(21:51):
funny memoir of heartbreak, resilience in finding love in the
modern age. Your stepdaughter, your daughter, excuse me, your daughter
is now in college. So you were able to raise
your daughter for most of it on your own while
you maintained a very active business as a photographer, which
(22:17):
was challenging. Uh and anyone out there who finds themselves
in a situation and similar situation and needs to find
someone who who can in effect throw them a life preserver,
philosophical life preserver.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It would be you.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
There had to been days, Carrie, when you went through
this and again when I say you're beautiful, you're you're
a beautiful woman, and you're also an awfully good and
wonderful woman with a good heart and a good mind.
There had to have been days when you had to
see yourself that was wrong with me? That I find
(22:59):
my self in this situation, And I'm sure it's in
the book. How did you deal with those days when
I guess you probably got up and said, you know,
I don't want to get out of bed today.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I just want to go back to sleep.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
But how did you continue to get yourself back in
the game and back in the game successfully.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Well. The job that I had I loved, and so
I was happy to go to work every day, to
be honest, And I think that because I was so
driven and worked so hard that always so I really
didn't have a choice because I was a single mom
and I had to keep the roof over my head
and I had my little girl I had to take
(23:48):
care of, so she really was my guiding light that
if I couldn't fight for myself, I had to fight
for her, and she really became my why because when
you become that hopeless, it's very difficult to carry on,
and it's difficult to tell people that you're in that
(24:12):
that low because if you come from a very proud
Irish Catholic family like I do, that I think that
was my hardest piece was that I was very good
at concealing I thought anyways. I think I know people
who are close to me could see it. But I
(24:34):
was always at work early with a smile on my
face and never really complained. And I think that came
as such a shock to everyone at the magazine that
they couldn't believe that I did such a good job
there and did all these things when what I was
concealing about my past was was far from picture perfect.
(24:58):
But I think that's a lot of you people.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
How tough was it to finally say, Okay, I have
to break out of my circle of friends, my my
my loving family and and I know your family very well. Uh,
and I'm going to get on these some of these
new things that this dating app thing, which a lot
(25:21):
of people probably would have said, I have no idea
who I'm meeting and who they might be. We've all
heard the horror stories of you know, people who have
you know, bad experience.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Forget the experience where someone feels.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
In danger, which is a horrific experience, but you show
up and you know the person is not what they
represented themselves to be on the dating app that had.
That's jumping into the deep end of the pool and
not knowing if you're going to be able to swim.
That's the only metaphor that I can explain. How would
(25:57):
you explain it?
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Well, you said that with this showing up. When you
said the word showing up. What made me think is
that sometimes in life you need one person to believe
in you, one person to show up. You don't need
ten you need one. And in chapter fifteen, I had
my longtime mentor who's a lot older than me. He's
(26:21):
been a different type of teacher than my dad. He's
a photography teacher, but he was a studio portrait artist
where my dad is award winning photojournalist, so different types
of photography. And I get stuck on a shoot actually
at spring training. He flies down to bail me out,
and that's when he loses it, and he has this
(26:46):
come to Jesus moment where he's like, Carrie, i've known
you for twenty five that you're choosing the wrong people
and the common denominator is you. And you're a smart
girl who has a lot of gifts and a lot
of abilities, and it's time that you use your head
(27:07):
and make some changes. And once he had to be
once he was very clear, and I was pretty devastated
to hear what he had to say to me. But
sometimes you can't see the force in the trees, and
(27:28):
at that point he could see. He said, for you,
being alone doesn't work for you. It works for a
lot of people. For you, it does not. And he
said you need to shift the focus and shift the
lens and start looking for a good person, not a
good looking I mean, my boyfriend's good looking, but you
(27:54):
can be handsome but not very nice. And so I
think I used my photography to look on the out
exterior in the beginning of my journey, not meaning to,
and it got me into a lot of trouble and
I had to start looking.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, a tough message for that guy to deliver, and
it had a tough message to receive.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
It was you know what, well, I'm I'm very strong
and I'm strong willed, and I and I have that
fighting irish and me to to my detriment. I'll be honest,
I think I get it from both of my parents.
They're both equally strong in many ways, just differently, and
so I have like the best of I have that
(28:43):
for both of them. They're not quitters, they really aren't.
And so I learned the hard way. But I really
value my mentor, Jeff Lubin, and I was disappointing him
and I was disappointing myself. So that was the wake
up all that I needed to make to do things
differently and sometimes people sorry.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
So what did you do differently? What did you do differently?
What you pivoted at that point. You weren't being you know,
you were not finding what you wanted.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
What did you do is that when you said okay,
I got to jump on one of these crazy apps
that I have no idea what it really is, but
I'm going to give it a shot. Is that it No.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
I was on the dating apps, but I was pulling
in the same type of person, like literally to the
t six to four looked like Tom Brady in a
banker suit, like the same over and over type of person. Okay,
And they were known they were unintentional daters, so they
were passing time on these dating apps, and and so
(29:51):
I didn't know what an unintentional data was. I didn't
know what any of these things were because this was
the early game of all this, and so so I
had to be open to something different, and that when
I came home from spring training two days later, I
was on a date with my boyfriend now and he
(30:14):
too had to be very forgiving and open, and I
think we both could see each other for the people
that we were who had just gone through a lot
of hard things. And I really believe there's a lot
of great people out there on these dating apps.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
So when I get back. I want to find out.
It sounds to me like you had this come to
Jesus conversation with your mentor who was a professional mentor,
but now he became a personal mentor, and within a
period of a few days, you had kind of changed
(30:55):
your focus very quickly, shot at love. So I want
to find out, and I'm sure our audience who's listening
wants to find out what you did. So that'll be
our question when I come back, if you're able to
explain it, because it sounds like that a single moment,
(31:18):
and it almost sounds like a confrontation where a friend
said to you, Hey, you know you got to you
got to change it up, and you change it up
successfully within a fairly brief period of time. We'll get
back with my guest, Carrie Brett, an award winning host
top ranked dating podcast. She's been through the grinder, she
(31:40):
admits it, and this is an amazing book. I suspect
many of you are going to want to buy it.
And if you'd like to ask carry a question, I
got wide open lines here. Oftentimes when I do interviews
like this, Carrie, there are people who tell me.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Oh, it's a great interview.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
I listened to it, but they don't want to call
because they for me to ask the question that's on
their mind. And I get news for your folks, then
maybe questions on your mind that I haven't thought of.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
We'll be right back on Nightside.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Now, back to Dan ray Line from the Window World
night Side Studios on WBZ the News Radio.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
When we went to break, Caerry, I was asking you
about this moment when your professional mentor came to you
and talked to you about your personal life. And matter
of fact, one of the items that I'm reading here
about the book says your mission is to inspire others
who struggle to overcome the challenges of dating, just as
(32:38):
she once did, to rediscover their confidence, reframe their stories,
and take their shot at love. Obviously a lot of
photographic metaphors in there.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
What did you do in that?
Speaker 3 (32:52):
I mean, it sounds to me like you came back
from spring training and you hit the jackpot with a
great guy who've been with now for eight years. How
did you turn it around that quickly?
Speaker 4 (33:04):
I'm a quick study like that. No, Honestly, there's people
that I really value their criticism. And my friend Jeff,
I know he's had a lot of personal struggles himself,
and he had a son with bone cancer and so
(33:29):
he was photographing health each children while his son was
in the hospital for a long period of time, and
so he knew real struggle. And yeah, it was really powerful,
like he could see he saw a lot of himself
in me, different types of struggle. Like I mentioned earlier,
(33:50):
But what I was doing essentially was I was judging
a book by its cover, and I was messing out
on wonderful people. And when I say judging a book
by cover, the photograph that my boyfriend put up with
a photograph of him and his brother, so I don't
know who I'm swiping on again, early early years of Tinder.
(34:11):
And then he and then he had a line that
said looking for love in all the wrong places, and
I was like, that's I didn't know if that was
funny or not. I thought, now, I kind of like it,
but I judged that right. And then he went to
the same college as my uncle Jim, and he went
to American University, and I had a connection there with
(34:33):
that because I knew that my dad's younger brother went there.
So I thought, well, he must be smart because my
uncle Jim's smart.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
And a puzzle. You're kind, You're putting together pieces of
a puzzle.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
It seems to me right. So I didn't really like
the looking for love. I didn't know who I was
swiping on. But see now I'm opened. And the first
thing he said to me was do you like the Bachelor?
And are you watching the Bachelor? And I was like, no,
I don't even what, Like, I just didn't watch those
(35:09):
kind of shows. Now I watch them with him, and
we love them. But like, see, you can easily judge
people really quickly by certain things they say, certain things
they put in the profile. And now I was approaching
dating with a different do you find her? And an
open heart, fully optimistic and hopeful. And I even had
(35:33):
a friend say, if you don't like him, you'll meet
a girl. I think you will, but she said, I
know him personally, and you'll end up with a great
new single friend. And last I checked, Carrie, you don't
have any single friends.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
How did you have that? And I often say Boston,
big city, small town, and I suspect that you might
identify with that concept. How was it that you were
able to connect a friend of yours who was also
a friend of his. Is this all over the phone
or is this after you have started at date a
little while?
Speaker 4 (36:05):
This is all texting, We're not even on the phone.
This is the first that's my conversation.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I got to get into the twenty first century. Here
go ahead.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Oh yeah, I mean, in truth, he really is very
opposite of me. But I needed in the beginning of
the book when I thank him, I say, if you're
a kite, find a rock. So I'm someone who thinks
really big and touch my goals to outrageous things, and
(36:41):
he's the balance and counterpart, and so I needed to
find someone opposite of me that was going to work
for me. See what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
No, I said, well, what do they I think?
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Not to use cliches here, but they say opposites attract,
and I happen to believe that too, to be honest
with you, And you know, I'm not into like, you know,
Asian meditation or something, but that you have some of
these philosophers off of the Yang and the Yang and
(37:15):
all of that sort of stuff. It's worked for you
for eight years. What sort of occupation or business as
your boyfriend? Obviously you're in a in a very individualistic
business where it's you with a camera and the subject,
and your job is to capture the image of that individual,
but also a sense of that individual if they're going
(37:38):
to be in the cover of a magazine or something.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
What does he do for a living?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
So he's in real estate, and I think, yeah, yeah,
it's perfect because he works for himself essentially, right, and
he works for his clients like I do, and he
works all the time.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
It's also but it's also a very it's a much
more tangible sort of it's a it's a tangible what's
the house worth, what's the square footage? What are the
real estate taxes? What are the crparables in the area.
You're dealing in a totally different area. You're you're dealing
in much more subjectivity. He's you're you're in chemistry, he's
(38:17):
in physics mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
But he's also I think with with people who are
making the biggest purchase of their life. There there is
a lot of back and forth and you have to
have a lot of patients if you want to be
a good realtor, and he has a lot of patients
with me.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Look, Carrie, I have loved this hour. I hope my
audience has loved it. I know they'll love your book. Uh,
it's available. I assume at this point, what's the easiest
way for people to get the book?
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Shot at Love and there, Ariazon, you can have a tomorrow.
You can get it right away on Amazon. There's a
couple of places downtown that is carrying it. I have
it at my studio Thatcheran Spring Herman and the Green
downtown Hingham. I'm going to be moving into other boutiques
and if you want to sign up for my newsletter
(39:17):
at shot at lovebook dot com. I'm going to be
doing single events where you can come. You can come
if you're in, if you're married, but just bring a
single friend. So I have done some shot at Love
Live single events, and I'm going to be doing book
signings through single events through the spring. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Well, carry congratulations on the book, congratulations in the podcast,
the congratulations and finding the love of your life, which
is what Valentine's Day is really supposedly all about.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Thanks so much for tonight.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I enjoyed the conversation and I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I I don't know.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I'm happy for you on a professional basis, but also
very happy for you.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
On a personal.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Basis as a member of the Brett family, I feel
sort of fair nice.
Speaker 4 (40:09):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
I'll see you at the Food Pantry event in March
in Dorchester.
Speaker 4 (40:15):
Okay, okay, I'll be there
Speaker 3 (40:18):
All right when we get back to twentieth hour, Ladies
and gentlemen, twentieth hour of the week, and we're going
to talk about what grinds your gears coming back on
night Side
It's night with Dan Ray. I'm Delli Fleas, Boston News Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
All Right, it's Valentine's Day night.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
I hope all of you have had a wonderful Valentine's Day.
It's that day during the year when all of us
focus on our love lives and whether they're satisfactory to
us or whether they're not. Some Valentine's days are good.
Some Valentine's days are not so good. And with us
tonight to celebrate Valentine's Day and the release of her
(00:33):
new book, Shot at Love is Boston photographer really an
extraordinary person and a friend of mine.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm a friend of their families.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
The Brett family of Dorchester who produced these fabulous photographers,
and certainly right there amidst amidst the best of them
is Carrie Brett. Carrie Brett, welcome back to Nightside.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
How are you hi? How are you happy?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Valanin Times day and yeah, well for you right now
it is it is a good Valentine's Day. And uh,
but it has been a very interesting journey that you
have been on. You're an award winning photographer. Uh, You've
(01:19):
You've done photo shoots with some very big name celebrities.
You've you know, shot for uh Boston Common magazine, the
Globe magazine for many years. You were the chief photographer
for The Improper Bostonian, which many of our listeners will remember.
(01:41):
You also now have a top rank dating podcast, and
that dating podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Is really what we're going to talk about tonight. And
the book that has.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Come out of that dating podcast is today, the day
the book actually has been been released.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
The book has been live on Amazon for ten days
with a push for the launch of Valentine's Day. So
we did a short press push to celebrate Single Awareness Day,
which singles call Valentine's Day because on Valentine's Day, it
(02:21):
shines a light on the fact that you may be
looking for love or you might be unhappy that you're alone,
and it can be a hard day. So sure, Valentine's
Day was the first with the launch day of my
show five years ago, and I thought, wouldn't it be
great to launch the book on the fifth anniversary of
(02:43):
the show.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, you were in a great relationship at this point,
but you had some rough Valentine's Days over the last
few years, correct, And that's.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Part of the book, right, I had a lot of
lonely holidays and sad Valentine's Days. I have a hard
time with holidays in general, and I think it's because
I had so much hardship when it came to the
love department. And I'm very mindful and empathetic to those
(03:19):
who feel left out or alone or have lost somebody.
And if you've lost someone that you've loved, whether our
relationship is ended or that passed away, it can be
very trying. And I wanted to create a movement in
a community for people to feel less alone. So that's
(03:39):
what I've done with my show.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
Yeah, and the podcast is going well as I understand
it correct, It's gone great.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
I love it. I love every minute of it. I
bring the most amazing people into my life. The episodes
that I produce are fascinating to me. And I say
all the time that I think I created the show.
I created the show for people who were struggling and
people who are having a hard time on dating apps
because I was one of those people. And and in
(04:12):
the end, I think I actually did that show for
me because it's so rewarding. It makes me so happy
that I can help people.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Well, let's I want to talk about it and it's
it's interesting you you disclosed to me the other day
that there came a point in your life where you
were working and your your relationship fell apart. A lot
of people have relationships that fall apart. And I'm sure
(04:42):
that first Valentine's Day was tough. Your birthday also, as
I understand, is February eleventh, so you could have sort
of had the double whammy, if you will, of a
few tough birthdays backed up by some tough Valentine's Days.
Tell us some just just you know, sketch out the story,
and then I want to sketch out all the people
(05:05):
who you have interviewed, who you have photographed, and what
lessons you've learned from this entire experience.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Okay, so let me take you back about twenty years ago.
My marriage was falling apart, and I had a one
year old and I was getting divorced, and I went
through a three year custody battle that was very difficult,
and I found myself dating with a baby on my hip,
(05:33):
pre dating apps or cell phones or texting or any
of those things. And then I was in a long
term relationship for eight years and the bottom fell out
of that suddenly as they do, and I had one
of my very young photography assistants decided to put me
(05:53):
on Tinder, and so I became an early evolution dating
app user of Tinder, and my whole world opened up.
And little by little, by using the dating app, one
swipe and one day at a time, I rebuilt my
life back and slowly rebuilt my confidence. So where I
was struggling was that I was a successful person on paper.
(06:16):
I was a business owner. I had a high pressure
job photographing covers for the leading leading city magazine, and
I had no information and I was I certainly couldn't
tell anyone what was behind the lens of my life,
and I desperately tried to help myself, and I couldn't
(06:37):
because I didn't have any strategy. But I did have
this little device call Tender that changed everything for me
and Jerry.
Speaker 5 (06:49):
Was there not a period of time when many people
were certainly you know those so sort of dating apps
had just come along, But it wasn't something that you
were going to probably advertise that you were on Tinder.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Wasn't this sort of a stigma at some point attached
to that into It wasn't something that you would be advertising.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I'm on Tinder right well.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Right, No, certainly not as a single mom living in Hingham.
I think I joked that I was probably one of
the only people at the time because it was new
and so people didn't know anything about it. But also
to get divorced with the baby back then was also
difficult and not the norm, and so I was a
(07:35):
trailblazer in that sense. But that was my reality, that
was my situation, and I had to trail a.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Tough trail to blaze, to carry it is it is.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
But I wasn't afraid of dating apps. I made my
own decision. I listened to my intuition and I had
luck there and I liked it, and I had a
lot of luck because I don't think I had a
lot of competition because there wasn't a lot of women
in my age at forty three on it. And then
I also knew that online dating with marketing and branding
(08:13):
at its best, and that was something that I was
an expert in. And so God, do you have a question, jam.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, yeah, In other words, is this part of the book?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
In other words, that you've written this book to basically
give other people who find themselves in a bad situation
that has that has either disappeared or as you say,
the bottom.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Has fallen out.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Is part of this book to basically show the world, Hey,
if you can do it and you can pull yourself
back into a better place, other men and other women
can do it as well.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
Right. So originally that was the first idea of the
original concept of a book, was that, Okay, I have
all this information that I've learned about online dating, but
then it would be kind of I'd be talking. I
would be teaching or preaching or something like that. And
(09:15):
I'm a big fan of the Chicken Soup for the
Soul series and Jack Canfield. No, Jack Canfield was a
teacher and before he was a writer, and he realized
that how he taught his students was he would come
up with these elaborate stories and then he could teach
(09:38):
teach his students through these elaborate, elaborate stories. And I
always felt that I was that my father was exactly
like Jack Canfield. I mean he holds corner Duncan Donuts
for two hours a day telling stories. I mean he
just I know where his schedule, where his hit his
setlist is every day because wherever he goes there's a
(10:00):
large crowd, And because I'm justlike him and Irish and
love to tell stories, I had all these wild tales
about dating, but they spanned over twenty years and it
all happened in the city of Boston, with the background
(10:21):
being the magazine. So I had all these fabulous characters
and subjects who were my friends that lived through all
this with me, And I thought, well, this is a
Netflix series. This is something really entertaining, so you don't
have to be looking for love to love this book.
And a lot of people don't really know what to
(10:45):
think of me, I think, and they put me in
lots of different boxes and lots of different categories. But
the truth be told, more men listen to my shows
than women, and more men are fans of this book
so far. Divorce men love it and they desperately need
help as well as women, so I help both.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
All right, well, let's do this.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I got to take a pause on that positive point,
and we will continue our conversation and if people would
like to compare notes or ask questions, Carrie's going to
stick with us.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
For a while here.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I hope we stay talking about this until eleven o'clock
it's Valentine's Day again. I hope all of you are
with someone you love. If you're not, fear not, there
will be other Valentine's Day, and there will be days,
and it will be other Christmases and other birthdays and
all of that, and not everyone is lucky in love
(11:43):
and able to fall in love with their high school
sweetheart and remain married for seventy years till death do
you part. Most people go through these days that these statistics,
statistics tell us at least one divorce, maybe more, and
certainly many breakups along the way. With us. Carrie Brett
(12:05):
an award winning photographer. She's the lead photographer of a
magazine that many of us missed, The Improper Bostonian. She
has shot photographs and pictures for just about any journal
that you could imagine. Her new book out today, Shot
at Love, a Memoir by Carrie Brett. She kind of
(12:28):
just tells the story of being as as she said,
after hitting rock bottom. She became an early adopter of
dating apps at age forty three while balancing life as
a single mom. She has this podcast, she has this book,
and I'm sure she'd love to chat with you. Six
(12:49):
ten thirty six thirty back with Carrie Brett talking about
a shot at love on Valentine's Day. Uh. And if
you're out there and you need a tip as to
how to get back on the circuit, how to get
back in the game, Carrie's here.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
We'll be back right after this.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Now back to Dan Ray live from the Window World
night Side Studios on WBZ News Radio.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
My guest is Carrie Brett, an award winning host of
Top Rank Dating podcast Carrie Brett. Carry, you are out
on as a single mom. You were out dating for
how many years be found before you found the actual
love of your life who you've been with now for
(13:38):
some time?
Speaker 4 (13:40):
Yes, about on and off for about two years, because
I kept going back and I also so, so the
relationship had ended, but I had a couple of more
times that of the back and forth. Yeah, and then
I I was in short term relationships, which I found
(14:05):
myself having these back to back short relationships. And throughout
all these failed relationships is where the learning and the
growth came. And I didn't know it at the time
that I was becoming the person that I was supposed
to be to pull in the right person. So I
had to pull in the wrong person and have all
(14:26):
these no's to move towards the U s.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It's kind of it's a tough story.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Are you still in touch with your former husband with
whom you had.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
A child?
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Well that was that story is twenty That story isn't
in the book because there's other stories, and also it's
the father of my daughter. So I decided to okay
to leave that out, you know, for my daughter, which
was understandable. But there's plenty of unbelievable stories in there
(15:13):
that touch upon But I think a lot of people,
a lot of single people go through.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Well I want to get to those, but before that,
just to get you in focus and in context, here
give us the names of as you were going through this,
you were you know of of this, this, I don't
know what you want to call it, journey, this search whatever.
(15:39):
You were in your in your job, in your profession.
You were meeting and photographing some very exciting celebrities as well,
and you you learned What did you learn from from
those celebrities? I mean they we see the celebrities and
(16:00):
you assume that their lives are all perfect, But you
get to spend a lot of time with a lot
of these celebrities, and I assume that you came to
realize that their lives were not perfect.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Well, I don't think there's any person who goes through
this classroom really, which is what I call earth. This
is not supposed to be heaven. We're supposed to learn
and the struggle is may look different for other people,
but people struggle through all sorts of heartbreak and all
(16:37):
sorts of challenges. And when I photograph people, I can
cut away all the exterior and see their heart and
see the type of person that they are. I'm not
friends with all the celebrities that I photographed. I may
have not clicked or connected with them in such a way.
But the people that are in my book I did,
(16:58):
and I was huge fans of and because of the
kindness and the generosity that they had within their hearts,
they helped me along the way. And you know they
say when a window closes or a door, you know whatever,
the saying is that someone will show up.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
And be that one door closes, another door opens. I'm
very fooliar with that, and I've experienced out in my life.
Let me ask you this before we go to break here,
just give me a list of some of the celebrities
people will meet in this book.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
Shot at Love Sure, So we start with my best friend,
the Wing Girl, another single mother, my friend Kelly Doyle,
who we can't do this with our friends, so she's
the first friendship. She gets married long before I find love,
but she teaches me about worthiness and if you don't
(17:49):
have worthiness, then you're not You're certainly not going to
find love. And then I take you through the different
people that worked with me at the improper celebrity writer
Jonathan Sorov financer and celebrity writer John Spooner. These were
(18:10):
two guys my publisher, Wendy Simonian epic. She marries the
general manager of our magazine, our local digs. He definitely
dug Wendy and they got married at that wedding. I
meet someone who didn't know it at the time while
I was single. I would find I think twelve or
(18:31):
fifteen years later on Tinder a lot of so some
of the celebrities, Chris Cooper taught me some valuable lessons.
Steve Carell, Tim Wakefield. I photographed a lot of Red
Sox players for twenty eight years every year for the
Red Sox Edition issue and Tim was someone that I
(18:54):
connected the most with and he helped me every spring
season and it was just a really kind person, great
great man. Lucky to have known him. Let's see my mentor,
Jeff Lubin helps me with my dating breakthrough. And then
(19:17):
I date a whole cast of characters that their names
have been changed and their identities and all that, so
you don't know who they are.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
You also, by the way, have a pretty good relationship.
I recall with Bill Belichick.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Well, Bill, it was always very good to me, very
kind to me. A photograph him twice for two covers.
And Julian Edelman is in the book. He is He's
that scrappy player who, oh yeah, I align with because
he had the determination and the grit to to do
(19:58):
the I mean, he his mind just shows that he
was told no. I think a lot of these celebrities
were told no throughout their career and that made them
kind of feel sorry for me because I was being
told no. Not at the magazine, but I was being
(20:18):
told no through dating, and so that's that's what happens. Though.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Let me take a break. We've got to We've got
a newscast coming up again. Feel free to join the conversation, folks.
This is Valentine's Night. My guest Carrie Brett. She's an
award winning photographer and host of a top rank dating podcast,
and her book Shot at Love is a memoir of
her life, which has been in many ways an extraordinary
(20:49):
life and also in many ways a similar life to
what most of us have lived, ups and downs, as
many ups or as many downs, as many ups, and
she kind of bears her soul in this book. And
if you'd like to chat, we got some numbers for
you six one, seven, two, four, ten thirty or six
(21:11):
one seven, nine to three, one ten thirty. Back on
Night Side with Carrie Brett right after this news break
at the bottom of the hour. It's Valentine's Day night
here in Boston and all around the world, It's.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Night Side with Ray on Boston's news radio.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
My guess it's Carrie Brett, her new book, Shot at Love.
And again you have to understand the double onendre here
that covers beautiful Carrie Brett herself is a beautiful woman
who comes from a tremendous family and has been through
I guess the grinder is the way you describe it.
It's described. The book is described as a fearless and
(21:51):
funny memoir of heartbreak, resilience in finding love in the
modern age. Your stepdaughter, your daughter, excuse me, your daughter
is now in college. So you were able to raise
your daughter for most of it on your own while
you maintained a very active business as a photographer, which
(22:17):
was challenging. Uh and anyone out there who finds themselves
in a situation and similar situation and needs to find
someone who who can in effect throw them a life preserver,
philosophical life preserver.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It would be you.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
There had to been days, Carrie, when you went through
this and again when I say you're beautiful, you're you're
a beautiful woman, and you're also an awfully good and
wonderful woman with a good heart and a good mind.
There had to have been days when you had to
see yourself that was wrong with me? That I find
(22:59):
my self in this situation, And I'm sure it's in
the book. How did you deal with those days when
I guess you probably got up and said, you know,
I don't want to get out of bed today.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I just want to go back to sleep.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
But how did you continue to get yourself back in
the game and back in the game successfully.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Well. The job that I had I loved, and so
I was happy to go to work every day, to
be honest, And I think that because I was so
driven and worked so hard that always so I really
didn't have a choice because I was a single mom
and I had to keep the roof over my head
and I had my little girl I had to take
(23:48):
care of, so she really was my guiding light that
if I couldn't fight for myself, I had to fight
for her, and she really became my why because when
you become that hopeless, it's very difficult to carry on,
and it's difficult to tell people that you're in that
(24:12):
that low because if you come from a very proud
Irish Catholic family like I do, that I think that
was my hardest piece was that I was very good
at concealing I thought anyways. I think I know people
who are close to me could see it. But I
(24:34):
was always at work early with a smile on my
face and never really complained. And I think that came
as such a shock to everyone at the magazine that
they couldn't believe that I did such a good job
there and did all these things when what I was
concealing about my past was was far from picture perfect.
(24:58):
But I think that's a lot of you people.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
How tough was it to finally say, Okay, I have
to break out of my circle of friends, my my
my loving family and and I know your family very well. Uh,
and I'm going to get on these some of these
new things that this dating app thing, which a lot
(25:21):
of people probably would have said, I have no idea
who I'm meeting and who they might be. We've all
heard the horror stories of you know, people who have
you know, bad experience.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Forget the experience where someone feels.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
In danger, which is a horrific experience, but you show
up and you know the person is not what they
represented themselves to be on the dating app that had.
That's jumping into the deep end of the pool and
not knowing if you're going to be able to swim.
That's the only metaphor that I can explain. How would
(25:57):
you explain it?
Speaker 4 (26:00):
Well, you said that with this showing up. When you
said the word showing up. What made me think is
that sometimes in life you need one person to believe
in you, one person to show up. You don't need
ten you need one. And in chapter fifteen, I had
my longtime mentor who's a lot older than me. He's
(26:21):
been a different type of teacher than my dad. He's
a photography teacher, but he was a studio portrait artist
where my dad is award winning photojournalist, so different types
of photography. And I get stuck on a shoot actually
at spring training. He flies down to bail me out,
and that's when he loses it, and he has this
(26:46):
come to Jesus moment where he's like, Carrie, i've known
you for twenty five that you're choosing the wrong people
and the common denominator is you. And you're a smart
girl who has a lot of gifts and a lot
of abilities, and it's time that you use your head
(27:07):
and make some changes. And once he had to be
once he was very clear, and I was pretty devastated
to hear what he had to say to me. But
sometimes you can't see the force in the trees, and
(27:28):
at that point he could see. He said, for you,
being alone doesn't work for you. It works for a
lot of people. For you, it does not. And he
said you need to shift the focus and shift the
lens and start looking for a good person, not a
good looking I mean, my boyfriend's good looking, but you
(27:54):
can be handsome but not very nice. And so I
think I used my photography to look on the out
exterior in the beginning of my journey, not meaning to,
and it got me into a lot of trouble and
I had to start looking.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, a tough message for that guy to deliver, and
it had a tough message to receive.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
It was you know what, well, I'm I'm very strong
and I'm strong willed, and I and I have that
fighting irish and me to to my detriment. I'll be honest,
I think I get it from both of my parents.
They're both equally strong in many ways, just differently, and
so I have like the best of I have that
(28:43):
for both of them. They're not quitters, they really aren't.
And so I learned the hard way. But I really
value my mentor, Jeff Lubin, and I was disappointing him
and I was disappointing myself. So that was the wake
up all that I needed to make to do things
differently and sometimes people sorry.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
So what did you do differently? What did you do differently?
What you pivoted at that point. You weren't being you know,
you were not finding what you wanted.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
What did you do is that when you said okay,
I got to jump on one of these crazy apps
that I have no idea what it really is, but
I'm going to give it a shot. Is that it No.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
I was on the dating apps, but I was pulling
in the same type of person, like literally to the
t six to four looked like Tom Brady in a
banker suit, like the same over and over type of person. Okay,
And they were known they were unintentional daters, so they
were passing time on these dating apps, and and so
(29:51):
I didn't know what an unintentional data was. I didn't
know what any of these things were because this was
the early game of all this, and so so I
had to be open to something different, and that when
I came home from spring training two days later, I
was on a date with my boyfriend now and he
(30:14):
too had to be very forgiving and open, and I
think we both could see each other for the people
that we were who had just gone through a lot
of hard things. And I really believe there's a lot
of great people out there on these dating apps.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
So when I get back. I want to find out.
It sounds to me like you had this come to
Jesus conversation with your mentor who was a professional mentor,
but now he became a personal mentor, and within a
period of a few days, you had kind of changed
(30:55):
your focus very quickly, shot at love. So I want
to find out, and I'm sure our audience who's listening
wants to find out what you did. So that'll be
our question when I come back, if you're able to
explain it, because it sounds like that a single moment,
(31:18):
and it almost sounds like a confrontation where a friend
said to you, Hey, you know you got to you
got to change it up, and you change it up
successfully within a fairly brief period of time. We'll get
back with my guest, Carrie Brett, an award winning host
top ranked dating podcast. She's been through the grinder, she
(31:40):
admits it, and this is an amazing book. I suspect
many of you are going to want to buy it.
And if you'd like to ask carry a question, I
got wide open lines here. Oftentimes when I do interviews
like this, Carrie, there are people who tell me.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Oh, it's a great interview.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
I listened to it, but they don't want to call
because they for me to ask the question that's on
their mind. And I get news for your folks, then
maybe questions on your mind that I haven't thought of.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
We'll be right back on Nightside.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Now, back to Dan ray Line from the Window World
night Side Studios on WBZ the News Radio.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
When we went to break, Caerry, I was asking you
about this moment when your professional mentor came to you
and talked to you about your personal life. And matter
of fact, one of the items that I'm reading here
about the book says your mission is to inspire others
who struggle to overcome the challenges of dating, just as
(32:38):
she once did, to rediscover their confidence, reframe their stories,
and take their shot at love. Obviously a lot of
photographic metaphors in there.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
What did you do in that?
Speaker 3 (32:52):
I mean, it sounds to me like you came back
from spring training and you hit the jackpot with a
great guy who've been with now for eight years. How
did you turn it around that quickly?
Speaker 4 (33:04):
I'm a quick study like that. No, Honestly, there's people
that I really value their criticism. And my friend Jeff,
I know he's had a lot of personal struggles himself,
and he had a son with bone cancer and so
(33:29):
he was photographing health each children while his son was
in the hospital for a long period of time, and
so he knew real struggle. And yeah, it was really powerful,
like he could see he saw a lot of himself
in me, different types of struggle. Like I mentioned earlier,
(33:50):
But what I was doing essentially was I was judging
a book by its cover, and I was messing out
on wonderful people. And when I say judging a book
by cover, the photograph that my boyfriend put up with
a photograph of him and his brother, so I don't
know who I'm swiping on again, early early years of Tinder.
(34:11):
And then he and then he had a line that
said looking for love in all the wrong places, and
I was like, that's I didn't know if that was
funny or not. I thought, now, I kind of like it,
but I judged that right. And then he went to
the same college as my uncle Jim, and he went
to American University, and I had a connection there with
(34:33):
that because I knew that my dad's younger brother went there.
So I thought, well, he must be smart because my
uncle Jim's smart.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
And a puzzle. You're kind, You're putting together pieces of
a puzzle.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
It seems to me right. So I didn't really like
the looking for love. I didn't know who I was
swiping on. But see now I'm opened. And the first
thing he said to me was do you like the Bachelor?
And are you watching the Bachelor? And I was like, no,
I don't even what, Like, I just didn't watch those
(35:09):
kind of shows. Now I watch them with him, and
we love them. But like, see, you can easily judge
people really quickly by certain things they say, certain things
they put in the profile. And now I was approaching
dating with a different do you find her? And an
open heart, fully optimistic and hopeful. And I even had
(35:33):
a friend say, if you don't like him, you'll meet
a girl. I think you will, but she said, I
know him personally, and you'll end up with a great
new single friend. And last I checked, Carrie, you don't
have any single friends.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
How did you have that? And I often say Boston,
big city, small town, and I suspect that you might
identify with that concept. How was it that you were
able to connect a friend of yours who was also
a friend of his. Is this all over the phone
or is this after you have started at date a
little while?
Speaker 4 (36:05):
This is all texting, We're not even on the phone.
This is the first that's my conversation.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
I got to get into the twenty first century. Here
go ahead.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Oh yeah, I mean, in truth, he really is very
opposite of me. But I needed in the beginning of
the book when I thank him, I say, if you're
a kite, find a rock. So I'm someone who thinks
really big and touch my goals to outrageous things, and
(36:41):
he's the balance and counterpart, and so I needed to
find someone opposite of me that was going to work
for me. See what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
No, I said, well, what do they I think?
Speaker 3 (36:55):
Not to use cliches here, but they say opposites attract,
and I happen to believe that too, to be honest
with you, And you know, I'm not into like, you know,
Asian meditation or something, but that you have some of
these philosophers off of the Yang and the Yang and
(37:15):
all of that sort of stuff. It's worked for you
for eight years. What sort of occupation or business as
your boyfriend? Obviously you're in a in a very individualistic
business where it's you with a camera and the subject,
and your job is to capture the image of that individual,
but also a sense of that individual if they're going
(37:38):
to be in the cover of a magazine or something.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
What does he do for a living?
Speaker 4 (37:42):
So he's in real estate, and I think, yeah, yeah,
it's perfect because he works for himself essentially, right, and
he works for his clients like I do, and he
works all the time.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
It's also but it's also a very it's a much
more tangible sort of it's a it's a tangible what's
the house worth, what's the square footage? What are the
real estate taxes? What are the crparables in the area.
You're dealing in a totally different area. You're you're dealing
in much more subjectivity. He's you're you're in chemistry, he's
(38:17):
in physics mm hmm.
Speaker 4 (38:19):
But he's also I think with with people who are
making the biggest purchase of their life. There there is
a lot of back and forth and you have to
have a lot of patients if you want to be
a good realtor, and he has a lot of patients
with me.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Look, Carrie, I have loved this hour. I hope my
audience has loved it. I know they'll love your book. Uh,
it's available. I assume at this point, what's the easiest
way for people to get the book?
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Shot at Love and there, Ariazon, you can have a tomorrow.
You can get it right away on Amazon. There's a
couple of places downtown that is carrying it. I have
it at my studio Thatcheran Spring Herman and the Green
downtown Hingham. I'm going to be moving into other boutiques
and if you want to sign up for my newsletter
(39:17):
at shot at lovebook dot com. I'm going to be
doing single events where you can come. You can come
if you're in, if you're married, but just bring a
single friend. So I have done some shot at Love
Live single events, and I'm going to be doing book
signings through single events through the spring. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Well, carry congratulations on the book, congratulations in the podcast,
the congratulations and finding the love of your life, which
is what Valentine's Day is really supposedly all about.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Thanks so much for tonight.
Speaker 3 (39:55):
I enjoyed the conversation and I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I I don't know.
Speaker 3 (40:00):
I'm happy for you on a professional basis, but also
very happy for you.
Speaker 2 (40:04):
On a personal.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Basis as a member of the Brett family, I feel
sort of fair nice.
Speaker 4 (40:09):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
I'll see you at the Food Pantry event in March
in Dorchester.
Speaker 4 (40:15):
Okay, okay, I'll be there
Speaker 3 (40:18):
All right when we get back to twentieth hour, Ladies
and gentlemen, twentieth hour of the week, and we're going
to talk about what grinds your gears coming back on
night Side
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