Hey Tabi!

Online trauma help online can be powerful, but it can also be dangerous if you don’t know what to look for.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook, unpacks how to find good, trauma-informed help online that’s actually safe & how to spot red flags that could cause further harm.

Many survivors of abuse or trauma seek online counseling, coaching, or groups for support, but not al...

When pastors teach on marriage, sex, or addiction but fail to mention abuse, survivors in the pews hear a dangerous message: stay, submit, and suffer silently.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains why silence from the pulpit enables harm and how pastors can bring truth, safety, and compassion into conversations about marriage, sexuality, and faith.

You’ll learn:

• Why abuse and coercive c...

Intensity isn’t always anger—but it can really help to know the difference!

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks how to tell the difference between healthy intensity, destructive anger, and trauma-driven reactions.

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” or if someone’s passion feels like a threat, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening in...

Most therapists believe couples therapy helps struggling marriages—but here’s the shocking truth: up to half of couples seeking counseling are experiencing domestic abuse or coercive control. If therapists miss it, they can actually arm the abuser with new tools to manipulate and harm their partner.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook explains:

• Why traditional couples counseling is u...

Christian perspectives on physical intimacy often lack clarity, leaving many couples confused about what honors God in the bedroom - especially if one or both partners are survivors of harm. True intimacy begins with friendship and mutual respect, creating space for honest communication about desires, boundaries, and healing.

In this episode we explore:

• What's permissible
• How technology has changed how we approach intimacy
• Sex...

Tabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times.

• The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise engages all five senses to bring our awareness back to the present moment
• Creating a detailed mental "peaceful place" where we can retreat when overwhelmed helps our bodies experience rest
• Visualizing a light waterfall washing over ou...

Teen dating violence and emotional abuse isn’t just “puppy love gone wrong.” It’s a serious issue that affects 1 in 3 teens, often before they even graduate high school. And it rarely starts with bruises - it starts with control, pressure, manipulation, isolation, and fear.

In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what teen coercive control really looks like, the warning signs pa...

Ever tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment.

Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks wh...

Trauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery.

• Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. ov...

Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive cont...

Is male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?

In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequ...

What if your story of suffering isn’t disqualifying—but the very space where Jesus meets you? In this powerful and grace-soaked episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with the one and only Elyse Fitzpatrick - author, counselor, and fierce advocate for the unloved and unseen.

We dive deep into:

• Why the gospel is more than behavior modification
• How the church has mishandled women’s stories
• The truth about Gomer, identity, and self-destructi...

What does it really mean to be a "doer of the Word" like it says in the book of James?

In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Neil Schori, pastor, father, and Director of Church Partnerships at Called to Peace Ministries, to tackle how being doers of the Word should make churches look. Together, they unpack James 1:22-27 and challenge what it really mea...

What if the marriage advice you were taught in church is actually what's ruining your marriage?

In this powerful and data-backed conversation, author and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire joins Tabitha to unpack the myths evangelical culture has fed us about sex, submission, and "roles" in marriage and how those messages have led to entitlement, emotional immaturity, and deep harm for both men and women.

In this eye-open...

What if the sweetest thing someone ever did for you… was actually part of the abuse?

In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the tactic of manipulative kindness, a dangerous, confusing form of coercive control that keeps victims stuck in toxic relationships.

This isn’t the “honeymoon phase.” It’s not real love. It’s a weapon dressed up as a gift.

You’ll learn:

• What manipulat...

What if the church's problem isn't ignoring sex, but being obsessed with it in all the wrong ways? Does the Church really function like a sex addict? This provocative question frames our exploration into how evangelical Christianity's approach to sexuality has created environments where abuse thrives and healthy intimacy struggles to exist.

The fingerprints of this unhealthy fixation appear everywhere—from c...

What if what you were taught about God isn't what God actually wanted you to believe?

In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into what happens when our theology has been shaped by fear, shame, spiritual abuse, or coercive control. If you've ever questioned your faith because of how it was used against you, this episode offers permission to wrestle, reexamine, and rebuil...

Did King David commit adultery—or was it something much darker? In this deeply important episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook examines the true story of David and Bathsheba. Spoiler: It’s not the sanitized ‘affair’ we’ve often been told. It’s a story of power, coercion, and sexual violence—rape by a man in power.

Join us as we read 2 Samuel 11 in its entirety, challenge cultural and spiritual myths that h...

Is healing from trauma ever really “finished?" In this compelling episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist and host Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Chuck DeGroat—therapist, pastor, and author of "Healing What’s Within"—to unpack the long journey of trauma recovery, especially in faith-based spaces.

Together, they explore:

• What it means when trauma lingers for decades
• Why “getting over it” isn’t always th...