Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Winnie. I want to start this podcast by saying Hi.
First of all, there's my manners. And also, you don't
want to know what I did last night, not to
bring the studio down, but my grandmother is dying. She's
one hundred and one and a half. I know, yeah,
(00:20):
I didn't she she got the yeah, yeah, I don't listen.
I don't look at it as a sad. It's sad. Obviously.
She was like a second mother to me. But she
has it's well documented. She has made peace with her
life and herself. She's lived a beautiful life. She's been
wishing to go for the past ten more than ten
years since her husband died, my grandfather, and so I've
(00:44):
made my amends to her. She knows. She's proud of me.
I love her, she loves me, and I'm not going
to be sad about it. She's one hundred and one.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So where are we at with this?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
She got the flu a couple of weeks ago, probably
a week and a half ago.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Is that your dad's fault? Because no one, she didn't
leave the house brought it to her.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Somebody brought it to her, but you know that's what happens.
She got the flu and she hit the bed and
she just could not recover from it. They gave her medicine,
the nurses were coming. They gave her antibiotics, and it
made her worse, like it didn't take well to her body.
So now she's just she hasn't moved out of the bed,
so now she has like bed sores.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
But like, how dying is she? Like are we at
Like hospice.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Is being called? At at nine am, they were calling
hospice to come to the house. That's a big thing.
My grandfather and grandmother they do will not die in hospital.
They die at home. So I went there last night
and she she wasn't even like awake, you know what
I mean. She's like just like like she she has pneumonia.
I thing too, So there's not much we can do.
(01:45):
But luckily, my wife's a nurse. My cousin, Betty's a nurse.
So we were all down there, The whole family was
down there. She was in her room. We were all
in there like talking to her even though she couldn't
hear us, and you know, saying go goodbyes. We don't
know when it's going to be, but it's a circle
of life. When hee this is what happens. You know.
It's sad. It's really sad.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm sorry, yeah, I mean, I mean you did have
her for a really long time, a.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Really long time. And my dad's taking it hard, you
know obviously, And I'm like, you know, I was talking
to him last night and I'm my dad. You know,
look at the positive of it. You know, both your
parents lived long lives. They both got to die in
their own home.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah, you know, but you know, at the end of day,
no matter when your parents die, it's still still mom still,
you know what I mean. Like I think about that,
like my parents are you know, good, But I think
about that sometimes I'm like, damn, Like whenever it happens,
it's like it's still your fucking parents, right right, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
It's not going to be easy, and it's it's harder
for him. I know, it's his mom, it's my grandmother
and I love her, but you know, and.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
He had the luxury of having her for seventy plus years.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Dude, it's a long time.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
That's like Dick Van Dyke's I saw this thing. They're
one hundred sons who are like seventy five. Because he's
a hundred and he was like, oh, my sons were
doing And then I think it was Jimmy Fallon was like, yeah,
he's coming, Hey dad, can I do this?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Coming at your house? But still his dad? Yeah, you know,
even if he's seventy five.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I mean, think about this. She lived her whole life
in Peru until she was forty years old. Yeah, so
when she was forty years old, her kids were like ten, twelve,
and thirteen, and then she moved to America.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
That was like my setto.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
She came to America like in her late forties yep,
never spoke English and started a whole new wife in
live Churchill.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
She she died in like her early nineties.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
And isn't it crazy how you don't obviously you never
met your grandparents when they were younger. Yeah, you only
meet them when they're elderly.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Right, unless you're like, you know, have like a forty
five year old grandmother.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah, my wife's best friend's daughter thirteen. Yeah, we had
a baby.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So your wife's she's.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Pregnant with the second one? What yeah, how old is
she she's now? So she's I think the child is six, yeah,
thirteen years.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Right now, and she's nineteen having a second one.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yep, no, same father, graduated high school, is in college,
has a job. Everything. I know, when you first heard it,
you were like, they're screwed. Yeah, but she showed up.
She had obviously she had help from her mother, my
wife's friend. Yeah, and you know, has her own place
with the guy. Second kid, and the daughter is great. Yeah,
that's why thirteen's young. It's super young. And and how
(04:22):
about this, the daughter had no idea six months pregnant,
had no idea, had no idea.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
That's always.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah. She only knew because one day she was just
getting changed in her room and her mom walked in
and saw her without a shirt on. She was like,
what's going on and she's like, what do you I
don't know. I put on some weight to the doctor. Pregnant.
Yeah that's what happens. But anyway, back to the grandparents thing.
So she moved here when she was forty and built
a whole another life. So I grew up in the house.
I grew up with her and nobody. So there were
(04:51):
three people that got got it the worst for me
in my addiction, my dad and my grandparents, and they
always stood by me no matter what I made amends
to my grandmother because it's a big thing in recovery
is amens. My grandfather I made amends to when he
was in mass General Hospital before he went home to Yeah,
and I had it yet to make an amends because
(05:12):
it's a step process, and the ninth step is when
you do your amends. That long you got to because
you got to make sure that you are spiritually fit
to do it. You don't just stop using for a
week and be like, hey, sorry, because the sorry is
so it's not just a sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
It's like change actions.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
And so saying sorry means yes, I'm sorry, but also
that I'm never going to do it again. That's really
what it is.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And you can't really get to that point unless you're
well into the program.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah, so I was able to go and make my
amends to him, and I've made my amends to her obviously.
So you know that's it. Funny story about amends You
want to hear one. Yeah, I wrote my amends list
to my ninth step and had a bunch of people
on their family friends. But then there's a bunch of
people that I didn't know where they were that I
had to write about. You know, and so there was
one in particular. It was it was actually from in recovery.
(05:59):
There a kid that came in. I helped him get clean,
and he kind of aggravated me a little bit. He
just his personality didn't like him. But whatever, I still
tried to help him. And then, you know, he had
kept annoying me and annoying me, and I'd see him
all the time, and then he had his sponsor was
my friend, and his sponsor didn't even like him. He
was just a real tough personality kid. He annoyed everybody.
And so one day he like mouthed off to me.
(06:22):
He said something smart to me, and I wasn't in
the mood. And so here I am, mister like spiritual
recovery guy. I just like lost it and I went
off on him. I said awful shit to him. No
awful shit, I go, I go, no one even likes
you in meetings, like, no one, your sponsor doesn't even
like you.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I believe, I believe.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, No, I'm not that type of person. I'm not.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, So I put him down and I said, I
don't know where this kid is, but I'm going to
write about it. And my guy said to me, you know,
these ones are ones that one day, when when your
higher power sees fit, he'll hit, you'll see them again,
and when that happens, be ready to make the amends.
I was like, all right, cool. A couple of years
goes by, I don't think about it. One day, I'm
(07:03):
at an outback steakhouse, random, like somewhere far not even
not far, but like not close to my eye. It
was random. Why I forget why I was even there.
I think, I don't know. But I was sitting in
my car in the parking lot and a car pulled
in right next to me, and a guy gets out
and starts walking right in front of my car. And
I just look up from my phone and it's him
by himself, walked right in front of my car, and
(07:23):
so I'm like yo. And so then he goes like
in the restaurant, and I'm like that's crazy. And I left.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You didn't go make your mend.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
No, So then I call my is my sponsor, and
I go I tell him and he goes, remember when
I told you that he would be put into your
life at a certain time and place where you can
make the amends. I go. Yeah, that was the moment
and you let it slip by. Yeah, yeah, so he
goes next time if it happens again, make your so.
And I ended up making my event.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
But him again.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I saw him again, random randomly. Well, no, he came
to like this recovery event. He was trying to get
clean again. Because what happened is, and I'm not proud
to say this, Listen, it's it's if someone picks up
and use it, it's on them. It's their decision to
do it. But when that happened and I yelled at him,
he never came back. He ended up using. You know,
I played a part in that. Yeah, So then really yes, yes,
(08:11):
and you it's he made the decision, you know. But yeah,
Well I think what happened was he didn't stop coming.
Because he stopped coming, he got the urge. He didn't
have the defense of to stop you to not pick up,
and so he had been using. So anyway, I saw
him again. He came back. I went right up to him.
(08:32):
We had a long conversation. I made my amends to him,
and all was well and good.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
So does you clean them?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
He died. He died about a year six months to
a year later, he picked up again and overdosed. All right, sorry,
it's just a reality, not load, It's just a reality.
He probably passed about six months to a year after
that happened. But like when it's been since then, Oh
since he died. Oh god, I had to have had
(08:58):
to have been ten years. It's been a long time. Yeah.
So yeah, amen's are important. So I made my amends
to my grandfather and my grandmother and my grandfather. They know,
she knows I love her, and I don't know how
much long she has, but we got to sit there
and spend time.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
She's a fighter. I would say she's not going to
go tomorrow. I'm getting a vibe it might be a
little bit like of a fight for her to die.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
You want to hear the crazy thing. She has no
health issues. No, she's perfectly healthy. Everything is healthy with her.
But this flu is kicking her ass. So and the
thing is she wants to go. So she's fighting. She's
not eating. They're giving her food through a syringe. Yeah,
she does it. We tried last night, We try to
give put water in her mouth, and she was she was.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Like, ah, at this age, can't you just.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I don't know, she's one hundred and one, I know.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Like, can we just let her not eat if she
don't want to eat, if she's on a hunger strike,
if she wants to do Yeah, but her.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Mouth was so dry. Yeah, it was so dry. And
she's calling out for her brother and her mother. Oh yeah, mama, mama.
But we think that she the mama. She's actually calling
my aunt who lives there too, my dad's sister. She's
like taking care of her with my dad. We think
she might be calling her what her name, her name is, Kathy,
but she I don't know, it's weird. Maybe she's calling
(10:11):
her mother. I don't know. But she's calling her brother, Carlos,
which is weird. Carlos, I mean she's crossing over to
the other side.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And the last time I go, I said to my dad,
I'm trying to lighten the mood up a little bit
and I go. So they're like, yeah, she's calling Carlos,
she's calling her mother, and I go, she's calling my
father and they're like.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Nope, Well, this is gonna be a sad time for
you guys. But you said it's she wants she's ready.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
She's ready. Yeah, she's ready. And then so one more thing,
my cousin who lives there, and so my cousin had
he's done a lot of prison time. Oh yes, child, No,
I did not, father's child did not. But he's been
out of prison for close to ten years. You know,
he doesn't he's not involved in any Kathy's Yeah, he
lives there too. When he got out. When he got out,
(10:58):
he got a job at Amazon, became a MAE manager,
all that stuff, got his license car, all that stuff.
And then I don't know what happened in Amazon. I
think something happened where he ended up the schedule change.
He ended up losing the job, and now he can't
get a job because of his record. It sucks. So
he said to me last night, He's like, you know,
I've been applying everywhere and I go to these interviews
(11:19):
and it's great. But then like they call me and
they go, yes, sir, I don't think that it's been
long enough. But he said to me, he goes. I
even applied to Pantados a couple of times. Well, a
light bulb went off. I know Joe Panadozi a friend
of mine. We've both been on his show. Yeah, so
(11:39):
on his show, and it really hit me because I'm
listening to my cousin. I'm like the poor fucking guy.
Man here I am talking about on my recovery spots
and everything. You can do it if you're a fucking
criminal drug addict, you have a record, you could go
far like me. You could get on the radio like me.
And you got these people who can't get a job.
And I was on Joe Panadosi's radio show and told
(12:00):
my story and he was like, I'm so proud of
you turning your life around. So I go, you know what,
I'm gonna call Joe?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Did you?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
So?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I called him this morning, Yeah, and I explained it
to him. I go, Joe, remember you heard my story
and you know you're so proud of me. You always
say it, you love our show. He's like, yeah, I
got a cousin. I need a favor. And I told
him and he's like, absolutely, send me his phone number. Yeah,
we'll say. Would he be like I think he'd work
on the in the in the factory there.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Right, No, But like what would he be doing?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I don't know. I think he'll do anything. I don't know.
Maybe I don't know what. I don't know whatever they
have opened. I think they'll do whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
So yay, yay.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I'm just hoping that Joe, you know, the interviews him whatever,
and then they run his record, his records brute. I did,
but I don't bad.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
You didn't tell him how bad it was. He should
have led with that.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Maybe I just told him he's got a record.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
What's the record.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Oh, he's got guns.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You had a gun.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I had a gun. I got found not guilty. He
got found guilty and got thirteen years. He has an
assault battery. Did he use the gun intent to murder? Okay,
big one? Yeah, possession of heroin, intend to distribute, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
But he didn't. He attended, but he didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
We got found not guilty. Okay, it will still show up,
but it'll be not guilty kilty.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, the assumn battery was you know, we were all
fucked up on drugs.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Were you there?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
It was going to be me. Yeah, he would have
killed me. I was taking these these people. He's not
a drug addict. He used to take drugs, but he
wasn't like me. He wasn't here.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
He was just like the criminal part.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Yeah, yeah, the street.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
He would sell it, but not use his own stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Correct once in a while he would. He doesn't have
the addiction like I did. Like I was a complete addict,
and I was the best customer to the money of it,
the money, the hustle and that he was addicted to.
But one time I had I had some pills, and
mistakenly I was like, do you want some? And these
pills make you kind of crazy, and he took them,
and so it was me and him and this other dude.
(13:52):
And then when the pills started hitting, he started like
getting very like violent almost and he started like yelling
at us, and I knew it was going to be bad,
so I left. I I got to go to the
bathroom in the house, and I left, and then I
went to leave too. I mean, it was every man
for themselves at that point. Okay, like that's his friend.
It wasn't even my friend. So yeah, what hap Yeah,
(14:15):
what happened was I went to my other friend's house
down the street to get out of there. And so
I'm there for like a few hours, smoking weed, doing it,
you know, enjoying myself, and another kid in the neighborhood
came to the house and goes justin the streets blocked
off the police, fire trucks, everything down there. So I'm like,
what the hell? So I run down, thinking my family,
Yeah he he they got into a fight and my
(14:38):
cousin smashed him. Yeah, and like really bad, you know.
And so they got him for the assault and he
went and he did time for it.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
He did time for that.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
The guns anything else.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
And the drugs. Yeah, all right, what do you think?
What are we thinking?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
You?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Okay, you know what's on my record? A gun, drugs,
and assault and ba. But not as that's a little
bit more vicious, because I think he has the intent.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
To how did you get hired here? They don't.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I don't do background no, you know. I was explaining
that to him last night because he said, he goes,
how do you do it? I oki dote the system? Okay.
I was an intern for college, so when you apply
for an internship, they don't do a background check. So
I was an intern for like two or three years
and then they knew me. So then when it was.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Time to get hired the job, they just gave me
the job. There was no too, there was no process.
There was no hiring process here.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But I think if somebody came here randomly and applied
for a job here at the radio station. They would
do a background show.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Oh really, I think I have.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
No because only you would think they were the only.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Job they ever had were here in the Patriots. I
don't think they did a background check for that either. Yeah,
but I got it through word of mouth. It was
like Ashley Feldman told the guy about me, and then
they're hired.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
They should and listen, you got to give people a chance, especially.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
We were working a weird, a weird business. I guess
there's some people on air that are criminal.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah I'm one.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah. Well, I hope your cousin.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Can figure it out, and I hope your grandmother goes peacefully,
thank you, and hopefully her funerals.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
On a Saturday.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Hopefully. I don't think she's gonna have a funeral, honestly,
I don't know. Maybe a service, not a not a whole,
do the whole. My granda, my grandfather was cremated. We
had a little service at the church, but not like
the whole way.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
No, no, like waken, no funeral in the morning at
like ten am. And then no, no, no, no, sorry,
this is.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Life when this is the way it goes, So I'll
keep everybody updated on what's going on, and that's about it.
Tomorrow's the Friday Show, so we'll have some fun on a.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Friday Friday podcast. And when he gets some sleep, oh
fuck you, I can't. We didn't get rest up.
Winnie. I want to start this podcast by saying Hi.
First of all, there's my manners. And also, you don't
want to know what I did last night, not to
bring the studio down, but my grandmother is dying. She's
one hundred and one and a half. I know, yeah,
(00:20):
I didn't she she got the yeah, yeah, I don't listen.
I don't look at it as a sad. It's sad. Obviously.
She was like a second mother to me. But she
has it's well documented. She has made peace with her
life and herself. She's lived a beautiful life. She's been
wishing to go for the past ten more than ten
years since her husband died, my grandfather, and so I've
(00:44):
made my amends to her. She knows. She's proud of me.
I love her, she loves me, and I'm not going
to be sad about it. She's one hundred and one.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
So where are we at with this?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
She got the flu a couple of weeks ago, probably
a week and a half ago.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Is that your dad's fault? Because no one, she didn't
leave the house brought it to her.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Somebody brought it to her, but you know that's what happens.
She got the flu and she hit the bed and
she just could not recover from it. They gave her medicine,
the nurses were coming. They gave her antibiotics, and it
made her worse, like it didn't take well to her body.
So now she's just she hasn't moved out of the bed,
so now she has like bed sores.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
But like, how dying is she? Like are we at
Like hospice.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Is being called? At at nine am, they were calling
hospice to come to the house. That's a big thing.
My grandfather and grandmother they do will not die in hospital.
They die at home. So I went there last night
and she she wasn't even like awake, you know what
I mean. She's like just like like she she has pneumonia.
I thing too, So there's not much we can do.
(01:45):
But luckily, my wife's a nurse. My cousin, Betty's a nurse.
So we were all down there, The whole family was
down there. She was in her room. We were all
in there like talking to her even though she couldn't
hear us, and you know, saying go goodbyes. We don't
know when it's going to be, but it's a circle
of life. When hee this is what happens. You know.
It's sad. It's really sad.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm sorry, yeah, I mean, I mean you did have
her for a really long time, a.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Really long time. And my dad's taking it hard, you
know obviously, And I'm like, you know, I was talking
to him last night and I'm my dad. You know,
look at the positive of it. You know, both your
parents lived long lives. They both got to die in
their own home.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah, you know, but you know, at the end of day,
no matter when your parents die, it's still still mom still,
you know what I mean. Like I think about that,
like my parents are you know, good, But I think
about that sometimes I'm like, damn, Like whenever it happens,
it's like it's still your fucking parents, right right, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
It's not going to be easy, and it's it's harder
for him. I know, it's his mom, it's my grandmother
and I love her, but you know, and.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
He had the luxury of having her for seventy plus years.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Dude, it's a long time.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
That's like Dick Van Dyke's I saw this thing. They're
one hundred sons who are like seventy five. Because he's
a hundred and he was like, oh, my sons were
doing And then I think it was Jimmy Fallon was like, yeah,
he's coming, Hey dad, can I do this?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Coming at your house? But still his dad? Yeah, you know,
even if he's seventy five.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I mean, think about this. She lived her whole life
in Peru until she was forty years old. Yeah, so
when she was forty years old, her kids were like ten, twelve,
and thirteen, and then she moved to America.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
That was like my setto.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
She came to America like in her late forties yep,
never spoke English and started a whole new wife in
live Churchill.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
She she died in like her early nineties.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
And isn't it crazy how you don't obviously you never
met your grandparents when they were younger. Yeah, you only
meet them when they're elderly.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Right, unless you're like, you know, have like a forty
five year old grandmother.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yeah, my wife's best friend's daughter thirteen. Yeah, we had
a baby.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So your wife's she's.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Pregnant with the second one? What yeah, how old is
she she's now? So she's I think the child is six, yeah,
thirteen years.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Right now, and she's nineteen having a second one.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Yep, no, same father, graduated high school, is in college,
has a job. Everything. I know, when you first heard it,
you were like, they're screwed. Yeah, but she showed up.
She had obviously she had help from her mother, my
wife's friend. Yeah, and you know, has her own place
with the guy. Second kid, and the daughter is great. Yeah,
that's why thirteen's young. It's super young. And and how
(04:22):
about this, the daughter had no idea six months pregnant,
had no idea, had no idea.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
That's always.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah. She only knew because one day she was just
getting changed in her room and her mom walked in
and saw her without a shirt on. She was like,
what's going on and she's like, what do you I
don't know. I put on some weight to the doctor. Pregnant.
Yeah that's what happens. But anyway, back to the grandparents thing.
So she moved here when she was forty and built
a whole another life. So I grew up in the house.
I grew up with her and nobody. So there were
(04:51):
three people that got got it the worst for me
in my addiction, my dad and my grandparents, and they
always stood by me no matter what I made amends
to my grandmother because it's a big thing in recovery
is amens. My grandfather I made amends to when he
was in mass General Hospital before he went home to Yeah,
and I had it yet to make an amends because
(05:12):
it's a step process, and the ninth step is when
you do your amends. That long you got to because
you got to make sure that you are spiritually fit
to do it. You don't just stop using for a
week and be like, hey, sorry, because the sorry is
so it's not just a sorry.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
It's like change actions.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
And so saying sorry means yes, I'm sorry, but also
that I'm never going to do it again. That's really
what it is.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
And you can't really get to that point unless you're
well into the program.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah, so I was able to go and make my
amends to him, and I've made my amends to her obviously.
So you know that's it. Funny story about amends You
want to hear one. Yeah, I wrote my amends list
to my ninth step and had a bunch of people
on their family friends. But then there's a bunch of
people that I didn't know where they were that I
had to write about. You know, and so there was
one in particular. It was it was actually from in recovery.
(05:59):
There a kid that came in. I helped him get clean,
and he kind of aggravated me a little bit. He
just his personality didn't like him. But whatever, I still
tried to help him. And then, you know, he had
kept annoying me and annoying me, and I'd see him
all the time, and then he had his sponsor was
my friend, and his sponsor didn't even like him. He
was just a real tough personality kid. He annoyed everybody.
And so one day he like mouthed off to me.
(06:22):
He said something smart to me, and I wasn't in
the mood. And so here I am, mister like spiritual
recovery guy. I just like lost it and I went
off on him. I said awful shit to him. No
awful shit, I go, I go, no one even likes
you in meetings, like, no one, your sponsor doesn't even
like you.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I believe, I believe.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Okay, No, I'm not that type of person. I'm not.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, So I put him down and I said, I
don't know where this kid is, but I'm going to
write about it. And my guy said to me, you know,
these ones are ones that one day, when when your
higher power sees fit, he'll hit, you'll see them again,
and when that happens, be ready to make the amends.
I was like, all right, cool. A couple of years
goes by, I don't think about it. One day, I'm
(07:03):
at an outback steakhouse, random, like somewhere far not even
not far, but like not close to my eye. It
was random. Why I forget why I was even there.
I think, I don't know. But I was sitting in
my car in the parking lot and a car pulled
in right next to me, and a guy gets out
and starts walking right in front of my car. And
I just look up from my phone and it's him
by himself, walked right in front of my car, and
(07:23):
so I'm like yo. And so then he goes like
in the restaurant, and I'm like that's crazy. And I left.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
You didn't go make your mend.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
No, So then I call my is my sponsor, and
I go I tell him and he goes, remember when
I told you that he would be put into your
life at a certain time and place where you can
make the amends. I go. Yeah, that was the moment
and you let it slip by. Yeah, yeah, so he
goes next time if it happens again, make your so.
And I ended up making my event.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
But him again.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I saw him again, random randomly. Well, no, he came
to like this recovery event. He was trying to get
clean again. Because what happened is, and I'm not proud
to say this, Listen, it's it's if someone picks up
and use it, it's on them. It's their decision to
do it. But when that happened and I yelled at him,
he never came back. He ended up using. You know,
I played a part in that. Yeah, So then really yes, yes,
(08:11):
and you it's he made the decision, you know. But yeah,
Well I think what happened was he didn't stop coming.
Because he stopped coming, he got the urge. He didn't
have the defense of to stop you to not pick up,
and so he had been using. So anyway, I saw
him again. He came back. I went right up to him.
(08:32):
We had a long conversation. I made my amends to him,
and all was well and good.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
So does you clean them?
Speaker 1 (08:37):
He died. He died about a year six months to
a year later, he picked up again and overdosed. All right, sorry,
it's just a reality, not load, It's just a reality.
He probably passed about six months to a year after
that happened. But like when it's been since then, Oh
since he died. Oh god, I had to have had
(08:58):
to have been ten years. It's been a long time. Yeah.
So yeah, amen's are important. So I made my amends
to my grandfather and my grandmother and my grandfather. They know,
she knows I love her, and I don't know how
much long she has, but we got to sit there
and spend time.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
She's a fighter. I would say she's not going to
go tomorrow. I'm getting a vibe it might be a
little bit like of a fight for her to die.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
You want to hear the crazy thing. She has no
health issues. No, she's perfectly healthy. Everything is healthy with her.
But this flu is kicking her ass. So and the
thing is she wants to go. So she's fighting. She's
not eating. They're giving her food through a syringe. Yeah,
she does it. We tried last night, We try to
give put water in her mouth, and she was she was.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Like, ah, at this age, can't you just.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I don't know, she's one hundred and one, I know.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Like, can we just let her not eat if she
don't want to eat, if she's on a hunger strike,
if she wants to do Yeah, but her.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Mouth was so dry. Yeah, it was so dry. And
she's calling out for her brother and her mother. Oh yeah, mama, mama.
But we think that she the mama. She's actually calling
my aunt who lives there too, my dad's sister. She's
like taking care of her with my dad. We think
she might be calling her what her name, her name is, Kathy,
but she I don't know, it's weird. Maybe she's calling
(10:11):
her mother. I don't know. But she's calling her brother, Carlos,
which is weird. Carlos, I mean she's crossing over to
the other side.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
And the last time I go, I said to my dad,
I'm trying to lighten the mood up a little bit
and I go. So they're like, yeah, she's calling Carlos,
she's calling her mother, and I go, she's calling my
father and they're like.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Nope, Well, this is gonna be a sad time for
you guys. But you said it's she wants she's ready.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
She's ready. Yeah, she's ready. And then so one more thing,
my cousin who lives there, and so my cousin had
he's done a lot of prison time. Oh yes, child, No,
I did not, father's child did not. But he's been
out of prison for close to ten years. You know,
he doesn't he's not involved in any Kathy's Yeah, he
lives there too. When he got out. When he got out,
(10:58):
he got a job at Amazon, became a MAE manager,
all that stuff, got his license car, all that stuff.
And then I don't know what happened in Amazon. I
think something happened where he ended up the schedule change.
He ended up losing the job, and now he can't
get a job because of his record. It sucks. So
he said to me last night, He's like, you know,
I've been applying everywhere and I go to these interviews
(11:19):
and it's great. But then like they call me and
they go, yes, sir, I don't think that it's been
long enough. But he said to me, he goes. I
even applied to Pantados a couple of times. Well, a
light bulb went off. I know Joe Panadozi a friend
of mine. We've both been on his show. Yeah, so
(11:39):
on his show, and it really hit me because I'm
listening to my cousin. I'm like the poor fucking guy.
Man here I am talking about on my recovery spots
and everything. You can do it if you're a fucking
criminal drug addict, you have a record, you could go
far like me. You could get on the radio like me.
And you got these people who can't get a job.
And I was on Joe Panadosi's radio show and told
(12:00):
my story and he was like, I'm so proud of
you turning your life around. So I go, you know what,
I'm gonna call Joe?
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Did you?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
So?
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I called him this morning, Yeah, and I explained it
to him. I go, Joe, remember you heard my story
and you know you're so proud of me. You always
say it, you love our show. He's like, yeah, I
got a cousin. I need a favor. And I told
him and he's like, absolutely, send me his phone number. Yeah,
we'll say. Would he be like I think he'd work
on the in the in the factory there.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Right, No, But like what would he be doing?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I don't know. I think he'll do anything. I don't know.
Maybe I don't know what. I don't know whatever they
have opened. I think they'll do whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
So yay, yay.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
I'm just hoping that Joe, you know, the interviews him whatever,
and then they run his record, his records brute. I did,
but I don't bad.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
You didn't tell him how bad it was. He should
have led with that.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Maybe I just told him he's got a record.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
What's the record.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Oh, he's got guns.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You had a gun.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I had a gun. I got found not guilty. He
got found guilty and got thirteen years. He has an
assault battery. Did he use the gun intent to murder? Okay,
big one? Yeah, possession of heroin, intend to distribute, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
But he didn't. He attended, but he didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
We got found not guilty. Okay, it will still show up,
but it'll be not guilty kilty.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, the assumn battery was you know, we were all
fucked up on drugs.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Were you there?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
It was going to be me. Yeah, he would have
killed me. I was taking these these people. He's not
a drug addict. He used to take drugs, but he
wasn't like me. He wasn't here.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
He was just like the criminal part.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Yeah, yeah, the street.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
He would sell it, but not use his own stuff.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Correct once in a while he would. He doesn't have
the addiction like I did. Like I was a complete addict,
and I was the best customer to the money of it,
the money, the hustle and that he was addicted to.
But one time I had I had some pills, and
mistakenly I was like, do you want some? And these
pills make you kind of crazy, and he took them,
and so it was me and him and this other dude.
(13:52):
And then when the pills started hitting, he started like
getting very like violent almost and he started like yelling
at us, and I knew it was going to be bad,
so I left. I I got to go to the
bathroom in the house, and I left, and then I
went to leave too. I mean, it was every man
for themselves at that point. Okay, like that's his friend.
It wasn't even my friend. So yeah, what hap Yeah,
(14:15):
what happened was I went to my other friend's house
down the street to get out of there. And so
I'm there for like a few hours, smoking weed, doing it,
you know, enjoying myself, and another kid in the neighborhood
came to the house and goes justin the streets blocked
off the police, fire trucks, everything down there. So I'm like,
what the hell? So I run down, thinking my family,
Yeah he he they got into a fight and my
(14:38):
cousin smashed him. Yeah, and like really bad, you know.
And so they got him for the assault and he
went and he did time for it.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
He did time for that.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
The guns anything else.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
And the drugs. Yeah, all right, what do you think?
What are we thinking?
Speaker 3 (14:54):
You?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Okay, you know what's on my record? A gun, drugs,
and assault and ba. But not as that's a little
bit more vicious, because I think he has the intent.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
To how did you get hired here? They don't.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I don't do background no, you know. I was explaining
that to him last night because he said, he goes,
how do you do it? I oki dote the system? Okay.
I was an intern for college, so when you apply
for an internship, they don't do a background check. So
I was an intern for like two or three years
and then they knew me. So then when it was.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Time to get hired the job, they just gave me
the job. There was no too, there was no process.
There was no hiring process here.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But I think if somebody came here randomly and applied
for a job here at the radio station. They would
do a background show.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Oh really, I think I have.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
No because only you would think they were the only.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Job they ever had were here in the Patriots. I
don't think they did a background check for that either. Yeah,
but I got it through word of mouth. It was
like Ashley Feldman told the guy about me, and then
they're hired.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
They should and listen, you got to give people a chance, especially.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
We were working a weird, a weird business. I guess
there's some people on air that are criminal.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah I'm one.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah. Well, I hope your cousin.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Can figure it out, and I hope your grandmother goes peacefully,
thank you, and hopefully her funerals.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
On a Saturday.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Hopefully. I don't think she's gonna have a funeral, honestly,
I don't know. Maybe a service, not a not a whole,
do the whole. My granda, my grandfather was cremated. We
had a little service at the church, but not like
the whole way.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
No, no, like waken, no funeral in the morning at
like ten am. And then no, no, no, no, sorry,
this is.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Life when this is the way it goes, So I'll
keep everybody updated on what's going on, and that's about it.
Tomorrow's the Friday Show, so we'll have some fun on a.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Friday Friday podcast. And when he gets some sleep, oh
fuck you, I can't. We didn't get rest up.
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