May 2, 2024 • 43 mins
There’s no such thing as having it all. Every success takes sacrifice. Amy’s guest today is actress, singer, song-writer, wife & brand new mom, Mackenzie Porter! With her packed career and being in entertainment, Mackenzie definitely asked herself: “Can I have a baby and continue my work?” (a thought none of us should have, but we most certainly do!) This leads to a quote from Shonda Rhimes that we love: “Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life.” Her point being there’s no balance or “having it all” because perfection is impossible and we need not have those standards or be expected to do it all…just work hard and do our best where we are in each moment.
Mackenzie grew up on a bison and cattle ranch in Canada….so obviously Amy asks her if she knows the Bison Storm Analogy! They also talk about how Mackenzie started taking piano, violin and singing lessons at just 4-years-old, her acting career (Amy loved the show Travelers she was in on Netflix a while back), what it’s like to work with actors and other singers, shooting her shot with Walker Hayes, her new album ‘Nobody’s Born With a Broken Heart’ + songs on it, how writing is therapeutic, not comparing ourselves to others on social media & 4 Things Gratitude: Mackenzie shared 1) what she’s thankful for today, a show she’s obsessed with, a song she loves and a drink that’s been bringing her joy during this season of life!
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Mackenzie Porter // @mackenziepmusic
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Up little food for yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty, but hey, it's pretty beautiful, beautiful that
for a.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Little more than it's exciting, said he your kicking with
four with Amy Brown. Happy Thursday, four Things. My guest
today is actress, singer, songwriter, mom wife so many things.
McKenzie Porter. Hello, I feel like the last time I
(00:43):
saw you. I'm sure maybe there's been other things here
or there, but I remember specifically a couple of years ago.
It was Valentine's Night. We were in l A and
you were there with Dustin Lynch singing thinking about you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, I forget what that was that event was for.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
It must have been Dustin's album released, Yes it was,
I think, and you showed up as a surprise, like
performing with him, and everybody freaked out. And that was
also a night where I had these huge clip on
earrings in and as I'm on stage interviewing Dustin, the
left one, which was the only one facing the audience,
decided to fall down. But somehow, while I'm talking to
(01:21):
him and on stage, I magically like I don't even
know how I caught it. It's almost one of those
things where it just kind of happened, and I feel
like for you right now, at this stage in your life,
you probably have a lot of these reflexesh like I
don't even know how I did that, because how old
is your baby at this point, like six weeks?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
She's like, well, Thursday, she'll be seven.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah, I don't even know how I get up in
the morning like most days, you know, like managing kids
and schedule.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Well, I mean, you did decide to put out an album,
like right at the exact same time, I did.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Not realize the workload of being a mom. Other people
would be like, it's really intense, like are you sure
you want to do it at the same time, and
I was like, I got it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
It's not a big deal. And now I'm like.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Oh, this is a little bit more than I thought
it would be, but in the best way.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Did you ever have thoughts that you couldn't have the
type of career that you have and be a mom?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Of course, I mean I definitely had that like stigma
like the second or a mom like things slow down.
And that's my mission is to prove that wrong. And
I've had so many of my girlfriends who are artists,
be like, I want to have a baby so bad
and I'm secured my label or I'm scared my managers
are going to.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Like lose their passion for me.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And that's just something I want to like show all
the women behind me, hopefully that you can try to
do both at the same time.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, there's a Shonda Rhyme's quote that I think is
really awesome for anyone that is trying to quote unquote
do it all. And she shared it originally at a
commencement speech, but I've seen it a few other places
here and there. But she said, whenever you see her
somewhere she's talking about herself, whenever you see me somewhere
succeeding in an area of my life, that almost certainly
(03:00):
means I'm failing in another area of my life. And
her point in sharing that was like, there really is
no balance. There's you know, sacrifices you're making here and there,
there's no happening at all. Perfection is impossible, But wherever
you are in that moment, just give it your best
and do what you can with it.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I kind of said that the other day too, is
like I feel like I'm kind of feeling as a
mom and as an artist because you're so pulled in
either and if I'm here, I'm you know, doing something
cool for my career, but I'm not home with my baby,
and there is a lot of like guilt of how
do I show up for all of these things at
the same time.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, And I think what Shonda was even saying too is, yeah,
look at all my accolades, my success. And I think
she was probably tired of people asking her like how
do you juggle it all? And She's like, I don't
because I'm here with you right now, or if Gray's
Anatomy is winning some award, or I'm watching this, or
or if I'm at my child's recital, like I'm missing
Sandra's last scene ever on the show, Like there's there's
(03:59):
sacrifices have to make, but I mean, I think you
just have to prioritize it and then have grace and
then relieve yourself of any guilt because you're doing the
best you can to also show your daughter as she
grows up. That like being a mom. A lot of
people call it like a job, but it doesn't define you.
That's not your only totally passion. You have so many passions.
(04:22):
I mean, and you're someone who's been at this or
at least, it seems like you're very talented from a
very young age. Like I was thinking the other day
at forty three, I'm thinking about starting piano again.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You should.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I want to because I took lessons when I was eight,
but I didn't really like them, so I didn't take
them seriously. But I saw that you were learning piano, violin,
singing all the things at four years old.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I know. It's like my mom was crazy.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
She wanted us to I think, just like be well
versed in a lot of things. And so we did
all those instruments, dance, gymnastics, skating, soccer, like just so
many activities.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It was definitely a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
But I'm so glad, Like I well, a, I obviously
went into the as a career.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
But also just to have like the skills to be
at a.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Party and be able to play an instrument and join
the band that's like at the party like that. That
I think was my parents' goal, is like they just
wanted me to be able to do that, and they
probably didn't think I would do it as a full career.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, they were looking out for you because that's definitely
a fun party trick.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It's obviously for it's harder as an adult. I think,
don't you think to like learn something new or the
time as a kid, it feels less hard, even like
a second language or something.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But you could do it.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Which do you speak any other language? No?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I wish.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I wouldn't be surprised if you like, yes, four, which
you grew up on a bison and cattle ranch in Alberta.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
And I was curious being that that's the case if
you're familiar with the bison storm analogy. No as like
a way to live.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So my sister taught it to me because she has
a necklace that has a bison on it, and I said,
where did you get that? It's so cute? And she
was talking about this jewelry shop in Colorado where she
got it. But then afterwards she learned that bison go
directly into the storm and cows huddle up together and
(06:14):
walk away from the storm. So it's two different ways
of looking at how to approach something. The bison are
aware that like, hey, I'm going to face this head
on and I'm going to get out of this storm faster,
whereas the cows, like they don't know that they're going
to end up being in the storm longer. But they
turn and go the other direction trying to get away
from the storm, but the storm catches up with them eventually,
(06:36):
and then they're in it longer. And so it's just
an analogy of like how to face hard things when
they happen or different challenges of just be like a
Bison and forge ahead.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah, I feel like that is probably how I go
about life, or that's how definitely how I want to
I'm sure sometimes like you.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Huddle with your people and you're just like brace yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
But you know, a lot of times in this career
there are a lot of things that you kind of
have to like that you have to do that you're
scared to do, like even you know, performances in front
of big people or like a big audience, or putting
out like this record like that that to me is
like scary, especially like coming off of a song with
Dustin that was really successful, Like this record has to
(07:21):
do well, and so for me, like putting it out
is kind of like that little Bison, I'm just put
my head down and running into the storm.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Well, and you were very vulnerable on the record and
sharing things and as a writer, I'm not a talented
writer like you. I'd have no skill or talent at
it and at all whatsoever. But in the last few
years writing has been so therapeutic. And by writing, I
just mean journaling, free flow, just wake up and just
start writing. So for you having it as a career,
(07:49):
but also it's likely a therapeutic outlet for you.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I do that too, though, like I'll wake up and
just start writing. And obviously the goals.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
I hope I find a song in that, but if
I don't, I don't then it also just did something
good for myself, just to put my feelings out.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
And so what song on the album, Like if someone
were to go check it out right now, which one
would you want them to listen to first?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I mean, there's so many, but the one off the
top of my head is a song called Nightingale, and
it's just about like when I first came to town,
I was so innocently naive and confident because I hadn't
heard no like eight hundred million times like I have now,
and you know, after being in town for close to
ten years, like you do, get like a little burnt.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And that song is about like how I want.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
To approach situations again like that girl, the one that
first came to town.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You have this confidence, but you're innocent, you don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Yeah, it's likes so naive, but it like it works
for you too.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
At the same time, like I was gonna ask, like, yeah,
did you come to town like this? I'm experienced and
confident and I'm ready for it. Or I'm innocent and
I'm naive and confident and I'm ready for it, because
you can still go after it either way.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
But I think that I think I like I thought.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
It was the shit when I first came to down
I mean I literally asked one of the owners of Bigloud,
my record label. I just said to him the first
time I met him, I'm like, you should sign me
to a deal. I'm awesome, my music's awesome. And I
probably wouldn't do that now because I now, I know
that's not cool and it doesn't work like that, and
you know that could be perceived in a certain way,
(09:20):
but it.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Did work that time.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
That confidence I feel like you moving from Canada to
Nashville is that you sort of being like a Okay,
this is what I want to do. You're kind of
being a Bison in the moment, I'm just gonna head
straight on.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I'm a big believer in like, if you don't ask,
you can't get it. And then sometimes we ask, you
don't get it too, But you definitely have to like
ask for what you want.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You know, when I look at you on social media
because I follow it, to me, you're killing it. But
I know that social media isn't always reality, and there's
this grass is Greener mentality, especially when we get wrapped
up in that on socials and we think like, why
is everybody else's life working out for us and it's
not really working out for me? Which your song Coming
Home to You is part of that message as well.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeap.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Do you ever have to remind yourself like, Okay, hey,
I don't want to fall into this grass is Greener trap?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Oh all the time? I mean, social media is so
hard and I always think it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Like you and I are like grown women, and hopefully
we have the skills to like know that social media
is fake, but I still fall into the trap of
thinking like her career looks like it's moving faster, or
her marriage looks better, or their house is nicer, or
she dresses cooler like always.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I think that's really natural. And for the record, you
do dress cooler.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And I am very I'm very jealous of it's very crue.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
No we mad jacket, so okay.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Right, yes, So while I can be I'll be inspired
by you. Well, I think it's another way to look
at it instead of you know, I use the word
jealous jokingly, but you can be inspired and motivated by
seeing other people that are having successes instead of feeling like, oh,
woe is me? Why is it happening to them and
not me?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Totally?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And I do feel like every time I've reached out too,
Like even I was texting my girlfriend Lauren Lee the
other day and I was like, how do you like
literally manage your kids and your clean house and like
because I'm like drowning and she's like, oh, we don't.
Our house is just like clean for social media or
like that picture was just clean or we have a
cleaner or whatever. And it's so nice to hear the
(11:17):
reality of people's lives instead of what they just post online.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Because I do it too.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I mean, I post my best stuff, and you know,
I don't post when I look like crap or feel
a crap.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Is there something around the house that like, if it
is done, you just feel better. I'm talking nobody else
is going to see it, but like, are you a
bed maker every day? Do you have to have clean countertops?
Or I have vacuum lines?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I'm all of it. This is my problem. I need
the bed maid, the dishes done.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And I realized with a baby that's just not as
doable right now.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Somebody said, like, your kid's not gonna remember if your
house is.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Clean, They're gonna remember if you spent time with her,
and so I always try to keep that in my mind,
but also I really want my house.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
To be clean. So I'm still trying to figure it
out and balance it off.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
There's a quote that we literally talked about. On Tuesday
of this week. I co host a bonus episode of
this podcast with my friend Kat, she's a therapist, and
you know, we'll answer listener emails and different things. We
always start the episode off with a quote, and this
week's and it's unknown, I don't know who it's from,
but this week's quote was literally, twenty years from now,
the only people that are going to remember how hard
(12:17):
you worked or how much you worked are your kids
and so yes, do good to your job, do well,
but at the cost of what and make sure that
you have that Back to the Shonda rhymes, you're not
going to always be there for your kids, but you're
not going to always be able to do every single
work thing. You have to just accept that can be
two places at once, yeah, or five.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
I think you like probably, you know, as your kids
get older, like learn the balance better and learn how
to say no. Like I'm still like I feel guilty
if I say no to a work thing, but at
the same time, it's like she needs me, So I'm
figuring that out every day.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Have you always been a bed maker or is that
something new?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
My mom was like very very OCD clean with their house,
like we our house isot was very put together. My
husband I was last She's like, I want it to
look like nobody lives there, you know what I mean,
Like everything's just put away and organized.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I think there is something too waking up and making
your bed though, and research shows that that it's like
the first thing you can do at the start of
the day to feel like, oh, look at me, I
can accomplish things. And then at night when you go
get into your bed. There's something different about crawling into
a clean bed, and it's just very comforting. So I
think I kay to want to take the time, but
(13:26):
I get like every single thing is not going to
be in order. But sometimes if I'm feeling wonky, like oh,
maybe I should just go make my bed because I
didn't make it this morning. And I haven't always been
a bed maker. I didn't grow up that way, but
my sister sort of did. Like she is ocd about
certain things like that, like she'll measure her curtains, Like
if she's close to her curtains for the day and
(13:48):
she's opening them up, and like, say there's a chair
or a couch, she'll measure to make sure that it's
seven inches from the really because she just wants it
to look a certain way. And she always made her bed,
and I was like, what, you're wasting your time? Who cares?
I press snows all the time, I didn't make my bed,
And then now I don't press news and I make
my bed every day, and I'm like, Okay, I kind
(14:08):
of get it. I get this lifestyle and I'm here
for it, but it's it's not naturally in me. But
it has helped set me up for success, So I
guess my next question would be, do you snooze or
no snows?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
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(15:12):
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Speaker 1 (15:31):
My next question would be, do you snooze or no snooze?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Oh, I snooze like crazy, which is kind of weird.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
But I have now been so bad at snoozing that
I now have to set my alarm like an extra
hour early to snooze it to actually.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Get out of bed on the right.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Now, that's when you know you have a problem that can.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I know, how many times will you snooze it?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Oh? Well I don't anymore? Okay, but I had to
kick it. I kicked it well. Actually there was a
challenge on The Bobby Bone Show where Bobby wanted me
to try to quit, and then a listener and said,
I've been trying to quit snoozing too. What if I'm
Amy's accountability partner and we do it together? And so
I had a listener and so if you have someone
that is checking in, they're trying to do it too.
And then we're talking about it on air. And I
(16:12):
really did want to kick the habit because, similar to you,
it gotten to the point where I was doing that
and I'm like, this seems counterproductive. You're literally and I
learned about sleep inertia, which is what you're doing to
yourself when you press snows like we think, oh, I'm
getting my nine more minutes or whatever, but you're not
able to go back into a full sleep cycle, so
(16:33):
you're sort of tricking your body and then it actually
makes you more tired throughout the day, and so we're
not setting ourselves up for success.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
It makes sense.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And also, just like the last hour you're in bed,
it's so miserable because it's going off every ten minutes.
That's just like you're kind of in a grumpy mood.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
To start your day too.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yeah, so sleep inertia.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Okay, maybe it'll be my partner to keep me accountable.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I can be your accountability partner, like, okay, make your bed.
But also you don't have to have your house to
such a pristine state where you know your husband's like
it looks like nobody lives here, you know, which what
is married life and light because that's only been a
few years too. Huh.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah, we've been together for over ten years but married
for the last five years. But he is the best.
He is like the best dad. Like he's so good
and he's very patient. Like sometimes I get little stress,
like if the crying is happening or if she's not
eating well, that like stresses me out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
And he's just calm. He's the opposite of me, the
ying to your yang. Yeah, he really is. And everybody,
like all our friends, they're like, we don't know how.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
You guys work, but you guys work really well because
he's really truly opposite.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Which how did y'all meet?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
We met songwriting with his ex girlfriend. Uh, they were
not dating anymore, but she introduced us and then we
started hanging.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
So his ex girlfriend introduced y'all to songwright or potentially to.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Songwriter day so I wrote with her and then she's like,
I think you and Jake would write really well together.
They were already broken up, she was with somebody else,
but they were still friends and we all wrote together,
and then he called his mom that night and was like,
I'm gonna marry this girl. I was still had a boyfriend,
I didn't live here, but we became friends and then
two years later we started dating.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
And so when did he tell you that? He called
his mom that night and said that.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
He told me like pretty fast that he was in
love with me, and I was like, I have a boyfriend,
Like I can't talk to you now because this is
weird and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. So
we kind of like stopped talking because it felt weird.
And then he would text me every Monday and be like,
I just want to remind you that, like I'm still
in love with you, and I won't text you for
the rest week, but I'm still in love with you.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
And he'd did that for like a long time. Yeah,
he was very persistent, like if it didn't work out,
it would have been creepy. But because it worked out,
it's sweet.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I know, isn't that the thing? Like it's like, well,
if a guy's treating you a certain way and you
don't like him, then it's sort of stalkerish or weird
or whatever. But if you like them, they're like, oh
my gosh, she's so sweet. He keeps showing up outside
my window.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I literally did. He knows like I'm a big gum toour.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
He would drop like packs of gum, like on my
front step or just like little things, like sweet little things,
which is a little stockery when you tell them to
not do that.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
But so then you broke up with your boyfriend naturally, just.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Like that just happened. And then at that point Jake
was like, hey, I'm here, I'm here. I've always been here.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Outside your windows, on your porch or the box of
gum like ready and waiting. So since y'all are both
creatives and writers, like how is it with your latest
album putting that out? And is so much going on
in your life? Is does he have a lot of
input or say or do you go to him? Or
is it sort of like you'll have to create that
separation because it can be too much.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
We don't work together.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
But he does have a lot of opinions of like
I'll ask him, like, you know, do you like this
video or this song or do you think this song
should go on the record. The thing that's kind of
nice is like he is not in country music. He
is more in like folk Americana singer songwriter world. So
our past don't really cross with business other than just supporting.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Well and seeking a business. You're not just in the
singer songwriter business. I first saw you on Travelers.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
I remember the first time I came in here and
you said.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Yeah, when you were on the Bobby Bone Shaw, I
was like, whoa wait, you're from the Netflix show with
that guy from Will and Grace. I was bummed when
that show didn't come back, Like it was a really
I remember watching that.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
So are you a sci fi fan?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
I'm not huge into sci fi, but for whatever reason,
which I'm no longer married to him, but my husband
is at the time is the one that found it.
And I wouldn't say he's too super sci fi either,
but you know, it was a good balance of this
as time travel but also doesn't feel too weird yep
in that or in that lane, because yeah, I would
say generally, we're not.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Totally they did rise that line nicely.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I think they totally did because we were into it
and like we were ready for the next season to
come out and then the next one. So anyway, that
was That was when I was first introduced to you.
I heard on the Bobby Cast to a couple of
years ago that you auditioned for Shit's Creek.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I did.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I did with Dan.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
I'd like tested with him, Dan Levy, and I mean
the girl who got I can't remember what her name
is in real life, but sister, yes, so you were
liked or like a little bit, a little bit Alexit
whatever her name is, I can't remember, but I auditioned
and read with him in LA comedy is like harder
for me. I'm definitely lean more in the drama lane.
But it was pretty cool and he was hilarious and
(21:20):
I was like, oh, you were a comedian obviously.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Him and his dad, they're like
geniuses in that department. Back to the Travelers one though,
do you believe in time travel or different dimensions? Working
on a show like that, does it.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Make you be like, I don't think I do. I
like to like think about it when I'm acting like
that's a fun thing, but I don't think I do,
and really lift.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
You when it comes to time travel, I don't know.
Bobby likes to believe in it. We talk about it
a lot on the show, but he feels like if
it existed, he would have come back to tell himself
and I don't know exactly how it all works. But
he also thinks we're a simulation, so it was Jake,
Oh really Ye.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Yes, he's definitely like the sci fi nerd kind of thing.
Do you ever get like the Dajahoo feeling? Yes, that
I feel like is maybe oh I'm feeling this because
that's happened in another life. Oh, I don't know, that's
what I've heard. That feeling is, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I don't wonder what I would have done in a
different life, for if I was somebody else, was I
a human or a bird?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I don't I feel it'd be fun to be a bird, right?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I know you like yes, because sometimes I just want
to fly far far away from a lot less stress, everything,
fly away from everything. Something that we do on the
show is gratitude, and so we'll list four things, and
it's a way for people to get to know, yeah,
what you're thankful for, but also get to know you
on a different level, like if you share specifically something
(22:45):
you're thankful for today, like when you woke up today,
in this moment, whatever you have going on, and then
a food or drink that you're thankful for, a show
or a movie or even a documentary which I'm sure
you've got some good stuff being that you work in
that lane too, And then book that you're thankful for,
or maybe even a song. Let's start with what you're
thankful for today?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Okay today, It's funny you say that because didn't get
a lot of sleep last night, was a little stress,
have a very busy day, and I just woke up
and thought, like I'm so lucky that I get to
do something I love for work, you know, and support
myself and my family. And I have a healthy little baby,
and like when you have it, you kind of take
it for granted. I'm and a husband who's supportive and
(23:26):
an extended family who is supportive, and I'm really tight with.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
What about a show or a movie that you're thankful
for in your life?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Have you read about The Jinks? You like documentaries?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I do?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Okay, so The Jinx is wild.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
You know, when you get to a documentary and it's
like the ending, you're like, they didn't even tell us
what happened or there's no ending, it's just kind of
like left unknown.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
The Jinks has an ending.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
And it is the most satisfying ending you'll ever experience
in documentary. And they just released a new like extended
part two that I'm watching.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Without giving it away because now I feel like a
lot of people we're gonna want to see it. What's
it about.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
It's about a guy who murders, or they think he
maybe murders three people, his wife, his friend, and another person.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I think. But the ending is just so satisfying.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
And this really happened.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Yes, And so the documentary is called The Jinks, and
I'm just grateful of that because I love murder documentaries.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Have you listened to the podcast Something Was Wrong? No,
it's not murder, Okay, well actually, well maybe I haven't
listened to all nineteen seasons, so there might be a
murder mixed in. But I just listened to the episode
now of This Friend. It would be like you and
I are sitting here, we're friends, but I met this
guy online and I think he's real, but you are
(24:41):
pretending to be him and you're my friend, and you're
like texting me and you know, We're like you've set
up this fake profile online so that we would meet
and people are crazy. And I was listening to it
earlier today and I'm just in disbelief. It's called Something
Was Wrong, and I don't remember which season this was,
but it's that gut feeling you get about like something
(25:03):
was just off, Like when you were either dating somebody
or you're had a friendship with somebody and you didn't
listen to your gut, Like have you had a time
We're like, oh, I should have listened to my gut
on that.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh all the time.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
I do feel like lucky that I've been in person
that has had friendships throughout life that have lasted. But
there's been a couple that other people have been like,
I don't know about that person. And I've always been
the type that's like, I'll figure it out, Like if
they're crazy, I'll figure it out. And I have figured
out that a few people are crazy, not that they're
like creating a fake person and texting me if that's bizarre.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But your gut always kind of like tells you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
The just sometimes you don't see it, Tilly, and you're like, oh,
come to think of it, I did have this weird
feeling that I don't really listen to it just you know,
sometimes wanting to believe the best in people, or if
you've been slowly manipulated and groomed in a way, then
you don't see what other people see. So JINX is
the show? What about a book? Are you a big Okay?
(26:02):
So I'm not the biggest reader. But well then let's
do a song.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Okay, a song that I'm really grateful for that I've
listened to over and over again. Next thing, you know,
Jordan Davis, and I feel like that song once I
had my daughter was like a different song for me
the one line about like when he says, uh, how
you doing their dad? And nobody's ever called you that
that part just like hits me in the heart so hard.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
That song has a line about his child like being seventeen.
It was seventeen specifically, and I don't think i'd ever
caught the seventeen part until the other day. And that's
because last week my daughter turned seventeen. And you realize
how quickly things life goes, you go by, because when
you're in the moment and there's so much going on,
and then.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
You're probably like, how do I have a seventeen year old?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Right? My ex husban and I adopted them six years ago.
So when she got here she was eleven. She's from Haiti,
and it seemed like just yesterday she was eleven and
we were celebrating her first birthday here in America. And
then now she is like driving to her birthday dinner
for seventeen, which is so bizarre. Yeah, So that's my
encouragement to you as a mom, and you'll know, and
(27:09):
speaking of listening to your guts, what work projects should
you take on, what meetings should you say yes to?
And then what moments do you need to be, you know,
with your family.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
It's at all too like I know it's probably been
you know, even like traveling when you were in LA
Like all those little things were decisions that you have
to make to leave your kids or whatever, or take
your kids.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
But it is early my husband on Valentine's Day, see
all that worked out, you know, I mean so, I
mean that was a thing where sometimes it would come up,
like work got in the way of our relationship a lot.
But I think that that's because early in our marriage,
I was used to being alone because he was in
the Air Force and he would deploy sixty days at
(27:49):
a time. So I became very independent in our relationship.
And I take responsibility for sometimes probably being a little
too independent because I would sort of had this inner
dialogue with myself of like, oh, well, I was just
here by myself and doing all this stuff. Of course,
I mean I'm building it up, and you kind of
get in that routine and you're trying to take care
(28:09):
of yourself and distract yourself. That even when he would
come home, I would sort of continue that and sort
of shut myself off so that way it wasn't as
hard for when he would leave the next time for
six or seven years, like he was going to war
every two months, And that's hard, and so I take
responsibility for my part in that. But you're still in
(28:29):
a young marriage too, and especially adding the kids. So
I don't think I could have acknowledged that early on.
I can see it now. But if you dip into
any patterns, just being able to recognize them or at
least receive them and communicating about them, like, Hey, is
there anything you're noticing that I'm doing that we could
work on, and then you have an opportunity in a
(28:50):
safe space where it's like I'm asking, like I want
to know what you're perceiving from our relationship, and then
you can both share and then try to move together
instead of just brushing it under the rug. How do
y'all stay connected and make sure you're on top of things?
(29:17):
How do y'all stay connected and make sure you're on
top of things?
Speaker 3 (29:21):
He is very good at like communicating better than I am.
I'm the kind of person I think that like I
can kind of sweep a little under the rug too,
maybe or just like think like, oh, this doesn't bother me,
Like I'll deal with it later. And then it really
is bothering me, or I don't like love to talk
through like a situation like I feeluncomfortable a little bit
in conflict and he is like, let's talk through it
(29:41):
right now. That always makes me feel uncomfortable, but it
always is better. So I don't know how he got
to be really good at that, but he would be
our strong suit in that aspect.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Yeah. I think sometimes when you're encounter relationships with people
where they are and I don't know what you are
either way, but just thinking of anxious avoidant or like
secure people, and sometimes when they're you're in a relationship
whether it's a friend or a romantic one where it's
like they're secure, You're like, well, I don't know what
to do with this. I'm used to a little more
drama than this, like what's up?
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Little dramas like spicy in a good way, right, But
relationship with experts will say like, hey, if sometimes it
seems a little bit boring, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
It just means you potentially, I guess speaking particularly to
attachment styles not other things, but it may be okay,
and you actually should pay attention to that and embrace
it because you might be with a secure person, which
is good. We're just not used to that.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
And I think it depends how you grew up, too,
Like if you grew up having like a little bit
more conflict or like you said, like sweeping things another rug,
you naturally just do that because that's how you're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Avoid avoid avoid. Yeah, my parents were very they avoided
a lot and not very emotionally available. Just weird because
I let all my emotions out. I never saw my
mom cry once, and I mean she went through some
really hard things that I never saw it. Are you
a crier?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
I am a private crier, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yes, I don't want my mom too.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Yeah, like cry in front of people, I will, though,
I mean sometimes it just happens. But like a big
thing for me is like when people go to the airport,
Like I hate going to the airport because I just
cry because.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
I hate like when people leave.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
We don't have any family here, and so for me,
like everyone comes to town, it's always like a little
bit intense because they're either in the house or whatever,
and they leave, and I feel like I don't know
when the next time I'm going to see them is
I don't know that's like always a hard place for me.
The older I get, the more I'm feeling comfortable crying
in front of people, and the more I'm.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Crying in front of people.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Is there a song on your new record that brings
up emotion or tears?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
The song Confessionals like makes me feel emotional. I wrote
it during COVID and my first relationship. I really struggled
getting over it when of my friends started dating him,
and so I had to like hang with them, and
I was like trying to be mature, like it didn't
work out with us, might work out with them. I'm
not going to stop to people from being in love
if they're in love whatever. But it was hard, and
(31:58):
so that song is like confessing that you're still not
with somebody that you're not with anymore.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
So it's obmitting. Yeah, I think we all have our
cry songs, at least I do. Or if I put
it on, I know I'm guaranteed to cry and you
get in my car. Well, ironically, it's a great day
to be alive. I was in college and it was
probably my sophomore year, and my boyfriend broke up with me,
and I just remember being in the shower listening to
that song on repeat, like on the shower floor crying.
(32:25):
And so now anytime I hear it, it evokes that emotion,
not because I miss him. So this is probably over
twenty years ago, but to this day, when I hear
that song, like I feel the emotion, Like that's one
where I could get in the car. I don't just
like start crying right away when I hear it, but.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
But you can feel like the emotion come out.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I feel the emotion, and if I needed to cry,
I can go get in my car and go for
a drive and put on It's a great day to
be you know.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
It's crazy, is like for when I'm acting all sometimes
I like listen to a song because like it's hard
to just cry on command on a set or.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Like in front of a bunch of people.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
But like music or like pictures or whatever, like I
feel like that really can like take your emotions up
and take you back to that place. So I'll use
like songs to try to get emotional on purpose on set.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Have you ever had to do a take multiple times
and you're like, what, I just got the tears and
now I have to do it again?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yes, or like the thing that always is funny to me,
is like you're getting emotional and somebody on set.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Will be like are you good? You good, and you're like, yes,
I'm acting, and you're wrecking it because you're like taking
me out of it. I'm like, sing, it is part
of my job. I always think that's like so funnier.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Makeup will come up and like try to fix it
and you're like no, like the tears are I want
the tears this time.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Have you seen Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn, No, I haven't, Okay,
we had to watch it on the show. It's like
an assignment. We have this like movie Cinema club where
everybody submits movies and we spin it on a wheel
and whatever lands and we have to watch. And Eddie
on our show he always submits old movies, like he
loves black and white film, and so we're always dreading it.
Roman Holiday was one where I thought, oh, this is
actually really good, and I started reading about the movie
(33:59):
afterwards because I was very drawn to Audrey Hepburn and
her character and there's this scene where she needed to
cry and when I was reading about it later, like
she couldn't get it down and the director was so
mad at her, like he screamed her face off, but
then ultimately that's what made her cry, and then she
(34:21):
was able to nail the scene. I mean, he basically
said to her. I'm paraphrasing, but she was like wasting
everybody's time, and then she felt bad for wasting everybody's time,
and he made her feel so horrible. I don't know
if that was his plan all along. It kind of
seemed like I'm sure so I'm not quite sure his methods,
but that's how they eventually got to take.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Sometimes, like doing a crying scene fifty times, it's like
I can't cry fifty times.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
In a row.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I've always wondered dating an actor would be hard, because
if you can cry on command, then I wonder sometimes
you know something's happening, and they're like, well if I
just cry right now, that'll helpful of this, and then
maybe they make them helse cry. Like if someone's just
really like that's their party trick, you know, like your
party trick is playing an instrument, yeh, and like shocking
(35:06):
people like, oh yeah, I can do the violin two
or whatever, but crying on command, like that's their thing,
then I just don't know that I could ever be
able to trust when they're crying or not, or dating
any actor for that matter. Have you being an actress,
have you dated actors? My ex before this was an actor, Okay,
did you ever wonder if he was like acting?
Speaker 3 (35:23):
I feel like I could tell. I could tell the difference.
But when I first started dating Jake, it was very
hard for him to date an actor, just like with
kissing scenes and all that kind of stuff. So his perspective,
I think, was it was pretty hard to date somebody
who he didn't know that world at all.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I kind of grew up in it.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
So it's like if my ex had to kiss somebody's
I felt comfortable with it, which is very odd.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
To say, but I did.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
What is a kissing scene like with someone that you're
not I've dating?
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I mean, I've done kissing scenes in sex scenes and
it's wild, but like you get comfy with it. The
thing is like there's so many people in the room,
so it's there's nothing romantic about it at all. I
did a kissing scene like where I was on a
Western and the guy had chewing tobacco in his mouth,
and I was just like, really, yeah, he was in character,
but I'm like, can you be a little lessing character?
(36:10):
But they're not my favorite scenes to film. I feel
a little uncomfortable, just like having sixty usually men, like
with cameras in your face, like while you're doing that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
N Hathaway was in the news the other day because
she was talking about how for one audition for something
like she had already been cast as a character, but
they were auditioning whoever's gonna play the part, and I
think it was like ten different guys came in and
they expected her to kiss every single guy and she's like, mom,
that would be very difficult.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
And another thing that's really weird. And I was listening
to do you ever listen to the SmartLess podcast? They
talk about like they don't tell you if you're supposed
to like kiss with tongue or not, which is so weird,
Like some people do, some people don't, And it's like
this weird thing that nobody talks about in acting. And
for me, it's like I never do, but some people do.
And it's always scary to know, like are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
So even with your your co host that you're having
the kissing scene with, like beforehand you're not like, hey,
so are you tongue?
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Like it's like so.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Weird, or you just go for it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
You just like see what happens, See what happens.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
And like the first time Jake did, he was on
Nashville and he had a kissing scene. He's like, so
like do we do tongue or like no tongue? And
I was like, I think for a guy, lean towards
no tongue. If the girl decides that's what she's going
to introduce, then whatever. Which is a weird conversation to
have with your husband about doing that with somebody else.
But it's just like this unspoken thing that everyone feels
(37:34):
so weird.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
About, but it seems simple to me, like you could
speak about it like before it happens, just like what
are we going to do?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
But it's weird, like you say, like are we using tongue?
Like I don't know, it's just so weird.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Or when you're reading your lines or you're doing a
table read or something, are you like okay, and here's
the kissing part, So how are we going to do this? Yeah?
I feel like the director.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Usually is like a little bit more passion guys, And
then you're like, oh tongue, I.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Would be nervous if I was an actor for some
scenes like kissing. Okay, fine, but like you said, some
scenes are far more intimate than that, and be thinking
about my parents seeing it.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
So do you ever think that I've my parents or
specifically my in laws. I don't love that when they
watch it. My parents are like, I think they just
like joke about it. They don't really care.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
But I always feel like bad if my husband's mom
is watching it, and like, I don't know, this is
a weird feeling, especially the sex scenes.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Well, speaking of partnerships like that, something fun that you
have coming up later this year is you're co hosting
the Canada CMAS with Thomas Rhett.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Yes, I'm so excited. I've only met him a couple
of times, but he has always been super, super sweet
and supportive.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
When it comes to people that you have worked with,
like it's their one person or artists with it. Like
maybe you've even worked just on a video like you
did Jacoen's videos.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Plural right, just the one video. Oh just Jack and Dianne,
Oh Jack and Diane.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Okay, so you did the video with Jaco and you
obviously have the song with Dustin Lynch during this time.
It's right, you have other experiences where you've worked with
a lot of other people, Like do you have a
favorite moment or person that you've enjoyed working alongside?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Well, obviously Dustin and I had a huge history with
the song, but I went on tour with Walker Hayes
and he has been such like a supportive person in
my life and his family. That tour was kind of
cool how that like came to be because I just
again texted him and was like, hey, I heard you
were going on tour, Like if you need an opening act,
(39:27):
like I'm your girl with a joke like winky face.
And he three days later called me and he's like, hey,
nobody else texted me direct and like you should always
ask for what you want because sometimes you get it,
and like come on tour with me, because.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
That was cool that you like just asked for.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
It, And for me, that was like a really special
moment and like a good learning lesson for me to
be like again, if you put yourself out there and ask,
then something cool could happen. Shoot your shot, Yeah might
as well. I mean it's not gonna happen if you
don't and be okay if the answers no, but.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
And answer is mostly no, but the yes could change
things big time. People know unless you go for it.
Which Walker is amazing. He actually he sings the theme
song for my podcast.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
He's such a great guy and like I texted in
pictures of my daughter and I don't know, he's just
really really kind.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Well, we'll close with the final piece of gratitude. We
never got to the fourth thing, which would be food
or drink that you're thankful for.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Right now wine because I don't like get to have
that that often because I'm breastfeeding and because I was pregnant,
so like the odd sip of wine I get.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I'm just like praise and coffee.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Have you done a pump and dump yet?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I did the like test.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
Strips and it did come back showing alcohol and when
I did it, so I had to dump that. But no,
I had just been like, I need to figure that out.
I need to dump and pump more.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Red or white?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Red?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Red?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
What are you are you?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Red? Red?
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah? Yeh. I used to be white in my late twenties.
I feel like now when I drink like pino grigio
is what I used to get all the time, and
I actually tried to do that recently and I did
not feel good the next day. I feel like anytime
I do drink, I have to take an unbooze pillow.
You'll need these, Okay. So Ray who works on the
(41:09):
Bobby Bone Show, he has a code. I think it's
like Susan Pray or something. I get that. I use
his code, but he saves ten percent. But it's used
to be called undo the Booze, but they just rebranded
to I think, just unbooze. And it's these herbal supplements
that you take after you drink, so at the end
of the night you would pop your supplements and then
(41:32):
supposedly when you wake up the next day.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Oh okay, you feel better.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
My supplements are usually like pop a couple time and all,
but right prefer to do something natural.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
And this isn't even for me. It's not like I've
had a lot to drink. Like it's like one marguerite
and I'm like, unbooze it. I don't want to do
everything to be as proactive as possible to not feel Why.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
Does it get harder when we get older, Like.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
When we get older, everything gets more difficult. So but
you know you still have some time. I'm you know,
you've got a lot of things going on right now
to keep you motivated, to keep you moving and going.
And I think one day you're going to like sit
back and be like, wow, I did a lot of
things which is really inspiring. And I think to a
lot of people, and I know you have a lot
of fans, especially young women that are looking up to you.
(42:16):
So I just wanted to encourage you to keep being
the amazing role model that you are and keep shooting
your shot with things and be a bison, which I
means perfect representation. You don't have to ask your family.
Are they still in the bison cattle business?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Yep, yep, so that so they do for a living.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
You'll have to yeah, see if your parents know that.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
And I've never heard it, but I love it, like
I love the idea of walking into the storm instead
of waiting for it to pass, because I do feel
like it.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, it lasts longer if you don't face it on.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Yeah, you a suck at the time, but you'll eventually
you'll get through it like a lot faster. So I
encourage y'all to check out McKenzie's new Apple and it's
called Nobody's Born with a Broken Heart. And then on
Instagram you're just at McKenzie Porter, mackenzie P Music, McKenzie
P Music. Okay, well, we're super excited for this new
music and for all that you have in store, and
(43:04):
I can't wait to see you back again when you
maybe have other projects, other babies, same husband, all the
other things. Okay, thank you again, Thank you so much.
Up little food for yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty, but hey, it's pretty beautiful, beautiful that
for a.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Little more than it's exciting, said he your kicking with
four with Amy Brown. Happy Thursday, four Things. My guest
today is actress, singer, songwriter, mom wife so many things.
McKenzie Porter. Hello, I feel like the last time I
(00:43):
saw you. I'm sure maybe there's been other things here
or there, but I remember specifically a couple of years ago.
It was Valentine's Night. We were in l A and
you were there with Dustin Lynch singing thinking about you.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Yeah, I forget what that was that event was for.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
It must have been Dustin's album released, Yes it was,
I think, and you showed up as a surprise, like
performing with him, and everybody freaked out. And that was
also a night where I had these huge clip on
earrings in and as I'm on stage interviewing Dustin, the
left one, which was the only one facing the audience,
decided to fall down. But somehow, while I'm talking to
(01:21):
him and on stage, I magically like I don't even
know how I caught it. It's almost one of those
things where it just kind of happened, and I feel
like for you right now, at this stage in your life,
you probably have a lot of these reflexesh like I
don't even know how I did that, because how old
is your baby at this point, like six weeks?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
She's like, well, Thursday, she'll be seven.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Yeah, I don't even know how I get up in
the morning like most days, you know, like managing kids
and schedule.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Well, I mean, you did decide to put out an album,
like right at the exact same time, I did.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Not realize the workload of being a mom. Other people
would be like, it's really intense, like are you sure
you want to do it at the same time, and
I was like, I got it.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
It's not a big deal. And now I'm like.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Oh, this is a little bit more than I thought
it would be, but in the best way.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Did you ever have thoughts that you couldn't have the
type of career that you have and be a mom?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Of course, I mean I definitely had that like stigma
like the second or a mom like things slow down.
And that's my mission is to prove that wrong. And
I've had so many of my girlfriends who are artists,
be like, I want to have a baby so bad
and I'm secured my label or I'm scared my managers
are going to.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Like lose their passion for me.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And that's just something I want to like show all
the women behind me, hopefully that you can try to
do both at the same time.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, there's a Shonda Rhyme's quote that I think is
really awesome for anyone that is trying to quote unquote
do it all. And she shared it originally at a
commencement speech, but I've seen it a few other places
here and there. But she said, whenever you see her
somewhere she's talking about herself, whenever you see me somewhere
succeeding in an area of my life, that almost certainly
(03:00):
means I'm failing in another area of my life. And
her point in sharing that was like, there really is
no balance. There's you know, sacrifices you're making here and there,
there's no happening at all. Perfection is impossible, But wherever
you are in that moment, just give it your best
and do what you can with it.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
I kind of said that the other day too, is
like I feel like I'm kind of feeling as a
mom and as an artist because you're so pulled in
either and if I'm here, I'm you know, doing something
cool for my career, but I'm not home with my baby,
and there is a lot of like guilt of how
do I show up for all of these things at
the same time.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, And I think what Shonda was even saying too is, yeah,
look at all my accolades, my success. And I think
she was probably tired of people asking her like how
do you juggle it all? And She's like, I don't
because I'm here with you right now, or if Gray's
Anatomy is winning some award, or I'm watching this, or
or if I'm at my child's recital, like I'm missing
Sandra's last scene ever on the show, Like there's there's
(03:59):
sacrifices have to make, but I mean, I think you
just have to prioritize it and then have grace and
then relieve yourself of any guilt because you're doing the
best you can to also show your daughter as she
grows up. That like being a mom. A lot of
people call it like a job, but it doesn't define you.
That's not your only totally passion. You have so many passions.
(04:22):
I mean, and you're someone who's been at this or
at least, it seems like you're very talented from a
very young age. Like I was thinking the other day
at forty three, I'm thinking about starting piano again.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You should.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I want to because I took lessons when I was eight,
but I didn't really like them, so I didn't take
them seriously. But I saw that you were learning piano, violin,
singing all the things at four years old.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I know. It's like my mom was crazy.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
She wanted us to I think, just like be well
versed in a lot of things. And so we did
all those instruments, dance, gymnastics, skating, soccer, like just so
many activities.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
It was definitely a lot.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
But I'm so glad, Like I well, a, I obviously
went into the as a career.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
But also just to have like the skills to be
at a.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Party and be able to play an instrument and join
the band that's like at the party like that. That
I think was my parents' goal, is like they just
wanted me to be able to do that, and they
probably didn't think I would do it as a full career.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yeah, they were looking out for you because that's definitely
a fun party trick.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
It's obviously for it's harder as an adult. I think,
don't you think to like learn something new or the
time as a kid, it feels less hard, even like
a second language or something.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
But you could do it.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Which do you speak any other language? No?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I wish.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I wouldn't be surprised if you like, yes, four, which
you grew up on a bison and cattle ranch in Alberta.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
And I was curious being that that's the case if
you're familiar with the bison storm analogy. No as like
a way to live.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
So my sister taught it to me because she has
a necklace that has a bison on it, and I said,
where did you get that? It's so cute? And she
was talking about this jewelry shop in Colorado where she
got it. But then afterwards she learned that bison go
directly into the storm and cows huddle up together and
(06:14):
walk away from the storm. So it's two different ways
of looking at how to approach something. The bison are
aware that like, hey, I'm going to face this head
on and I'm going to get out of this storm faster,
whereas the cows, like they don't know that they're going
to end up being in the storm longer. But they
turn and go the other direction trying to get away
from the storm, but the storm catches up with them eventually,
(06:36):
and then they're in it longer. And so it's just
an analogy of like how to face hard things when
they happen or different challenges of just be like a
Bison and forge ahead.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Yeah, I feel like that is probably how I go
about life, or that's how definitely how I want to
I'm sure sometimes like you.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Huddle with your people and you're just like brace yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
But you know, a lot of times in this career
there are a lot of things that you kind of
have to like that you have to do that you're
scared to do, like even you know, performances in front
of big people or like a big audience, or putting
out like this record like that that to me is
like scary, especially like coming off of a song with
Dustin that was really successful, Like this record has to
(07:21):
do well, and so for me, like putting it out
is kind of like that little Bison, I'm just put
my head down and running into the storm.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Well, and you were very vulnerable on the record and
sharing things and as a writer, I'm not a talented
writer like you. I'd have no skill or talent at
it and at all whatsoever. But in the last few
years writing has been so therapeutic. And by writing, I
just mean journaling, free flow, just wake up and just
start writing. So for you having it as a career,
(07:49):
but also it's likely a therapeutic outlet for you.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I do that too, though, like I'll wake up and
just start writing. And obviously the goals.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
I hope I find a song in that, but if
I don't, I don't then it also just did something
good for myself, just to put my feelings out.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
And so what song on the album, Like if someone
were to go check it out right now, which one
would you want them to listen to first?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I mean, there's so many, but the one off the
top of my head is a song called Nightingale, and
it's just about like when I first came to town,
I was so innocently naive and confident because I hadn't
heard no like eight hundred million times like I have now,
and you know, after being in town for close to
ten years, like you do, get like a little burnt.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And that song is about like how I want.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
To approach situations again like that girl, the one that
first came to town.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
You have this confidence, but you're innocent, you don't know.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Yeah, it's likes so naive, but it like it works
for you too.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
At the same time, like I was gonna ask, like, yeah,
did you come to town like this? I'm experienced and
confident and I'm ready for it. Or I'm innocent and
I'm naive and confident and I'm ready for it, because
you can still go after it either way.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
But I think that I think I like I thought.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
It was the shit when I first came to down
I mean I literally asked one of the owners of Bigloud,
my record label. I just said to him the first
time I met him, I'm like, you should sign me
to a deal. I'm awesome, my music's awesome. And I
probably wouldn't do that now because I now, I know
that's not cool and it doesn't work like that, and
you know that could be perceived in a certain way,
(09:20):
but it.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Did work that time.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
That confidence I feel like you moving from Canada to
Nashville is that you sort of being like a Okay,
this is what I want to do. You're kind of
being a Bison in the moment, I'm just gonna head
straight on.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I'm a big believer in like, if you don't ask,
you can't get it. And then sometimes we ask, you
don't get it too, But you definitely have to like
ask for what you want.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You know, when I look at you on social media
because I follow it, to me, you're killing it. But
I know that social media isn't always reality, and there's
this grass is Greener mentality, especially when we get wrapped
up in that on socials and we think like, why
is everybody else's life working out for us and it's
not really working out for me? Which your song Coming
Home to You is part of that message as well.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeap.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Do you ever have to remind yourself like, Okay, hey,
I don't want to fall into this grass is Greener trap?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Oh all the time? I mean, social media is so
hard and I always think it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Like you and I are like grown women, and hopefully
we have the skills to like know that social media
is fake, but I still fall into the trap of
thinking like her career looks like it's moving faster, or
her marriage looks better, or their house is nicer, or
she dresses cooler like always.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I think that's really natural. And for the record, you
do dress cooler.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
And I am very I'm very jealous of it's very crue.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
No we mad jacket, so okay.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Right, yes, So while I can be I'll be inspired
by you. Well, I think it's another way to look
at it instead of you know, I use the word
jealous jokingly, but you can be inspired and motivated by
seeing other people that are having successes instead of feeling like, oh,
woe is me? Why is it happening to them and
not me?
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Totally?
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And I do feel like every time I've reached out too,
Like even I was texting my girlfriend Lauren Lee the
other day and I was like, how do you like
literally manage your kids and your clean house and like
because I'm like drowning and she's like, oh, we don't.
Our house is just like clean for social media or
like that picture was just clean or we have a
cleaner or whatever. And it's so nice to hear the
(11:17):
reality of people's lives instead of what they just post online.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Because I do it too.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
I mean, I post my best stuff, and you know,
I don't post when I look like crap or feel
a crap.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Is there something around the house that like, if it
is done, you just feel better. I'm talking nobody else
is going to see it, but like, are you a
bed maker every day? Do you have to have clean countertops?
Or I have vacuum lines?
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I'm all of it. This is my problem. I need
the bed maid, the dishes done.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
And I realized with a baby that's just not as
doable right now.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Somebody said, like, your kid's not gonna remember if your
house is.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Clean, They're gonna remember if you spent time with her,
and so I always try to keep that in my mind,
but also I really want my house.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
To be clean. So I'm still trying to figure it
out and balance it off.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
There's a quote that we literally talked about. On Tuesday
of this week. I co host a bonus episode of
this podcast with my friend Kat, she's a therapist, and
you know, we'll answer listener emails and different things. We
always start the episode off with a quote, and this
week's and it's unknown, I don't know who it's from,
but this week's quote was literally, twenty years from now,
the only people that are going to remember how hard
(12:17):
you worked or how much you worked are your kids
and so yes, do good to your job, do well,
but at the cost of what and make sure that
you have that Back to the Shonda rhymes, you're not
going to always be there for your kids, but you're
not going to always be able to do every single
work thing. You have to just accept that can be
two places at once, yeah, or five.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
I think you like probably, you know, as your kids
get older, like learn the balance better and learn how
to say no. Like I'm still like I feel guilty
if I say no to a work thing, but at
the same time, it's like she needs me, So I'm
figuring that out every day.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Have you always been a bed maker or is that
something new?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
My mom was like very very OCD clean with their house,
like we our house isot was very put together. My
husband I was last She's like, I want it to
look like nobody lives there, you know what I mean,
Like everything's just put away and organized.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I think there is something too waking up and making
your bed though, and research shows that that it's like
the first thing you can do at the start of
the day to feel like, oh, look at me, I
can accomplish things. And then at night when you go
get into your bed. There's something different about crawling into
a clean bed, and it's just very comforting. So I
think I kay to want to take the time, but
(13:26):
I get like every single thing is not going to
be in order. But sometimes if I'm feeling wonky, like oh,
maybe I should just go make my bed because I
didn't make it this morning. And I haven't always been
a bed maker. I didn't grow up that way, but
my sister sort of did. Like she is ocd about
certain things like that, like she'll measure her curtains, Like
if she's close to her curtains for the day and
(13:48):
she's opening them up, and like, say there's a chair
or a couch, she'll measure to make sure that it's
seven inches from the really because she just wants it
to look a certain way. And she always made her bed,
and I was like, what, you're wasting your time? Who cares?
I press snows all the time, I didn't make my bed,
And then now I don't press news and I make
my bed every day, and I'm like, Okay, I kind
(14:08):
of get it. I get this lifestyle and I'm here
for it, but it's it's not naturally in me. But
it has helped set me up for success, So I
guess my next question would be, do you snooze or
no snows?
Speaker 4 (14:26):
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(14:48):
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(15:12):
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Speaker 1 (15:31):
My next question would be, do you snooze or no snooze?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Oh, I snooze like crazy, which is kind of weird.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
But I have now been so bad at snoozing that
I now have to set my alarm like an extra
hour early to snooze it to actually.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Get out of bed on the right.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Now, that's when you know you have a problem that can.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I know, how many times will you snooze it?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Oh? Well I don't anymore? Okay, but I had to
kick it. I kicked it well. Actually there was a
challenge on The Bobby Bone Show where Bobby wanted me
to try to quit, and then a listener and said,
I've been trying to quit snoozing too. What if I'm
Amy's accountability partner and we do it together? And so
I had a listener and so if you have someone
that is checking in, they're trying to do it too.
And then we're talking about it on air. And I
(16:12):
really did want to kick the habit because, similar to you,
it gotten to the point where I was doing that
and I'm like, this seems counterproductive. You're literally and I
learned about sleep inertia, which is what you're doing to
yourself when you press snows like we think, oh, I'm
getting my nine more minutes or whatever, but you're not
able to go back into a full sleep cycle, so
(16:33):
you're sort of tricking your body and then it actually
makes you more tired throughout the day, and so we're
not setting ourselves up for success.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
It makes sense.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And also, just like the last hour you're in bed,
it's so miserable because it's going off every ten minutes.
That's just like you're kind of in a grumpy mood.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
To start your day too.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yeah, so sleep inertia.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Okay, maybe it'll be my partner to keep me accountable.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I can be your accountability partner, like, okay, make your bed.
But also you don't have to have your house to
such a pristine state where you know your husband's like
it looks like nobody lives here, you know, which what
is married life and light because that's only been a
few years too. Huh.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Yeah, we've been together for over ten years but married
for the last five years. But he is the best.
He is like the best dad. Like he's so good
and he's very patient. Like sometimes I get little stress,
like if the crying is happening or if she's not
eating well, that like stresses me out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
And he's just calm. He's the opposite of me, the
ying to your yang. Yeah, he really is. And everybody,
like all our friends, they're like, we don't know how.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
You guys work, but you guys work really well because
he's really truly opposite.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Which how did y'all meet?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
We met songwriting with his ex girlfriend. Uh, they were
not dating anymore, but she introduced us and then we
started hanging.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
So his ex girlfriend introduced y'all to songwright or potentially to.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Songwriter day so I wrote with her and then she's like,
I think you and Jake would write really well together.
They were already broken up, she was with somebody else,
but they were still friends and we all wrote together,
and then he called his mom that night and was like,
I'm gonna marry this girl. I was still had a boyfriend,
I didn't live here, but we became friends and then
two years later we started dating.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
And so when did he tell you that? He called
his mom that night and said that.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
He told me like pretty fast that he was in
love with me, and I was like, I have a boyfriend,
Like I can't talk to you now because this is
weird and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. So
we kind of like stopped talking because it felt weird.
And then he would text me every Monday and be like,
I just want to remind you that, like I'm still
in love with you, and I won't text you for
the rest week, but I'm still in love with you.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
And he'd did that for like a long time. Yeah,
he was very persistent, like if it didn't work out,
it would have been creepy. But because it worked out,
it's sweet.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I know, isn't that the thing? Like it's like, well,
if a guy's treating you a certain way and you
don't like him, then it's sort of stalkerish or weird
or whatever. But if you like them, they're like, oh
my gosh, she's so sweet. He keeps showing up outside
my window.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I literally did. He knows like I'm a big gum toour.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
He would drop like packs of gum, like on my
front step or just like little things, like sweet little things,
which is a little stockery when you tell them to
not do that.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
But so then you broke up with your boyfriend naturally, just.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Like that just happened. And then at that point Jake
was like, hey, I'm here, I'm here. I've always been here.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Outside your windows, on your porch or the box of
gum like ready and waiting. So since y'all are both
creatives and writers, like how is it with your latest
album putting that out? And is so much going on
in your life? Is does he have a lot of
input or say or do you go to him? Or
is it sort of like you'll have to create that
separation because it can be too much.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
We don't work together.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
But he does have a lot of opinions of like
I'll ask him, like, you know, do you like this
video or this song or do you think this song
should go on the record. The thing that's kind of
nice is like he is not in country music. He
is more in like folk Americana singer songwriter world. So
our past don't really cross with business other than just supporting.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Well and seeking a business. You're not just in the
singer songwriter business. I first saw you on Travelers.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
I remember the first time I came in here and
you said.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Yeah, when you were on the Bobby Bone Shaw, I
was like, whoa wait, you're from the Netflix show with
that guy from Will and Grace. I was bummed when
that show didn't come back, Like it was a really
I remember watching that.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
So are you a sci fi fan?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
I'm not huge into sci fi, but for whatever reason,
which I'm no longer married to him, but my husband
is at the time is the one that found it.
And I wouldn't say he's too super sci fi either,
but you know, it was a good balance of this
as time travel but also doesn't feel too weird yep
in that or in that lane, because yeah, I would
say generally, we're not.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Totally they did rise that line nicely.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
I think they totally did because we were into it
and like we were ready for the next season to
come out and then the next one. So anyway, that
was That was when I was first introduced to you.
I heard on the Bobby Cast to a couple of
years ago that you auditioned for Shit's Creek.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I did.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I did with Dan.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
I'd like tested with him, Dan Levy, and I mean
the girl who got I can't remember what her name
is in real life, but sister, yes, so you were
liked or like a little bit, a little bit Alexit
whatever her name is, I can't remember, but I auditioned
and read with him in LA comedy is like harder
for me. I'm definitely lean more in the drama lane.
But it was pretty cool and he was hilarious and
(21:20):
I was like, oh, you were a comedian obviously.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Him and his dad, they're like
geniuses in that department. Back to the Travelers one though,
do you believe in time travel or different dimensions? Working
on a show like that, does it.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Make you be like, I don't think I do. I
like to like think about it when I'm acting like
that's a fun thing, but I don't think I do,
and really lift.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
You when it comes to time travel, I don't know.
Bobby likes to believe in it. We talk about it
a lot on the show, but he feels like if
it existed, he would have come back to tell himself
and I don't know exactly how it all works. But
he also thinks we're a simulation, so it was Jake,
Oh really Ye.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Yes, he's definitely like the sci fi nerd kind of thing.
Do you ever get like the Dajahoo feeling? Yes, that
I feel like is maybe oh I'm feeling this because
that's happened in another life. Oh, I don't know, that's
what I've heard. That feeling is, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I don't wonder what I would have done in a
different life, for if I was somebody else, was I
a human or a bird?
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I don't I feel it'd be fun to be a bird, right?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
I know you like yes, because sometimes I just want
to fly far far away from a lot less stress, everything,
fly away from everything. Something that we do on the
show is gratitude, and so we'll list four things, and
it's a way for people to get to know, yeah,
what you're thankful for, but also get to know you
on a different level, like if you share specifically something
(22:45):
you're thankful for today, like when you woke up today,
in this moment, whatever you have going on, and then
a food or drink that you're thankful for, a show
or a movie or even a documentary which I'm sure
you've got some good stuff being that you work in
that lane too, And then book that you're thankful for,
or maybe even a song. Let's start with what you're
thankful for today?
Speaker 3 (23:05):
Okay today, It's funny you say that because didn't get
a lot of sleep last night, was a little stress,
have a very busy day, and I just woke up
and thought, like I'm so lucky that I get to
do something I love for work, you know, and support
myself and my family. And I have a healthy little baby,
and like when you have it, you kind of take
it for granted. I'm and a husband who's supportive and
(23:26):
an extended family who is supportive, and I'm really tight with.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
What about a show or a movie that you're thankful
for in your life?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Have you read about The Jinks? You like documentaries?
Speaker 1 (23:37):
I do?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Okay, so The Jinx is wild.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
You know, when you get to a documentary and it's
like the ending, you're like, they didn't even tell us
what happened or there's no ending, it's just kind of
like left unknown.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
The Jinks has an ending.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
And it is the most satisfying ending you'll ever experience
in documentary. And they just released a new like extended
part two that I'm watching.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Without giving it away because now I feel like a
lot of people we're gonna want to see it. What's
it about.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
It's about a guy who murders, or they think he
maybe murders three people, his wife, his friend, and another person.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
I think. But the ending is just so satisfying.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
And this really happened.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Yes, And so the documentary is called The Jinks, and
I'm just grateful of that because I love murder documentaries.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
Have you listened to the podcast Something Was Wrong? No,
it's not murder, Okay, well actually, well maybe I haven't
listened to all nineteen seasons, so there might be a
murder mixed in. But I just listened to the episode
now of This Friend. It would be like you and
I are sitting here, we're friends, but I met this
guy online and I think he's real, but you are
(24:41):
pretending to be him and you're my friend, and you're
like texting me and you know, We're like you've set
up this fake profile online so that we would meet
and people are crazy. And I was listening to it
earlier today and I'm just in disbelief. It's called Something
Was Wrong, and I don't remember which season this was,
but it's that gut feeling you get about like something
(25:03):
was just off, Like when you were either dating somebody
or you're had a friendship with somebody and you didn't
listen to your gut, Like have you had a time
We're like, oh, I should have listened to my gut
on that.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Oh all the time.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
I do feel like lucky that I've been in person
that has had friendships throughout life that have lasted. But
there's been a couple that other people have been like,
I don't know about that person. And I've always been
the type that's like, I'll figure it out, Like if
they're crazy, I'll figure it out. And I have figured
out that a few people are crazy, not that they're
like creating a fake person and texting me if that's bizarre.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But your gut always kind of like tells you, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
The just sometimes you don't see it, Tilly, and you're like, oh,
come to think of it, I did have this weird
feeling that I don't really listen to it just you know,
sometimes wanting to believe the best in people, or if
you've been slowly manipulated and groomed in a way, then
you don't see what other people see. So JINX is
the show? What about a book? Are you a big Okay?
(26:02):
So I'm not the biggest reader. But well then let's
do a song.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Okay, a song that I'm really grateful for that I've
listened to over and over again. Next thing, you know,
Jordan Davis, and I feel like that song once I
had my daughter was like a different song for me
the one line about like when he says, uh, how
you doing their dad? And nobody's ever called you that
that part just like hits me in the heart so hard.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
That song has a line about his child like being seventeen.
It was seventeen specifically, and I don't think i'd ever
caught the seventeen part until the other day. And that's
because last week my daughter turned seventeen. And you realize
how quickly things life goes, you go by, because when
you're in the moment and there's so much going on,
and then.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
You're probably like, how do I have a seventeen year old?
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Right? My ex husban and I adopted them six years ago.
So when she got here she was eleven. She's from Haiti,
and it seemed like just yesterday she was eleven and
we were celebrating her first birthday here in America. And
then now she is like driving to her birthday dinner
for seventeen, which is so bizarre. Yeah, So that's my
encouragement to you as a mom, and you'll know, and
(27:09):
speaking of listening to your guts, what work projects should
you take on, what meetings should you say yes to?
And then what moments do you need to be, you know,
with your family.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
It's at all too like I know it's probably been
you know, even like traveling when you were in LA
Like all those little things were decisions that you have
to make to leave your kids or whatever, or take
your kids.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
But it is early my husband on Valentine's Day, see
all that worked out, you know, I mean so, I
mean that was a thing where sometimes it would come up,
like work got in the way of our relationship a lot.
But I think that that's because early in our marriage,
I was used to being alone because he was in
the Air Force and he would deploy sixty days at
(27:49):
a time. So I became very independent in our relationship.
And I take responsibility for sometimes probably being a little
too independent because I would sort of had this inner
dialogue with myself of like, oh, well, I was just
here by myself and doing all this stuff. Of course,
I mean I'm building it up, and you kind of
get in that routine and you're trying to take care
(28:09):
of yourself and distract yourself. That even when he would
come home, I would sort of continue that and sort
of shut myself off so that way it wasn't as
hard for when he would leave the next time for
six or seven years, like he was going to war
every two months, And that's hard, and so I take
responsibility for my part in that. But you're still in
(28:29):
a young marriage too, and especially adding the kids. So
I don't think I could have acknowledged that early on.
I can see it now. But if you dip into
any patterns, just being able to recognize them or at
least receive them and communicating about them, like, Hey, is
there anything you're noticing that I'm doing that we could
work on, and then you have an opportunity in a
(28:50):
safe space where it's like I'm asking, like I want
to know what you're perceiving from our relationship, and then
you can both share and then try to move together
instead of just brushing it under the rug. How do
y'all stay connected and make sure you're on top of things?
(29:17):
How do y'all stay connected and make sure you're on
top of things?
Speaker 3 (29:21):
He is very good at like communicating better than I am.
I'm the kind of person I think that like I
can kind of sweep a little under the rug too,
maybe or just like think like, oh, this doesn't bother me,
Like I'll deal with it later. And then it really
is bothering me, or I don't like love to talk
through like a situation like I feeluncomfortable a little bit
in conflict and he is like, let's talk through it
(29:41):
right now. That always makes me feel uncomfortable, but it
always is better. So I don't know how he got
to be really good at that, but he would be
our strong suit in that aspect.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Yeah. I think sometimes when you're encounter relationships with people
where they are and I don't know what you are
either way, but just thinking of anxious avoidant or like
secure people, and sometimes when they're you're in a relationship
whether it's a friend or a romantic one where it's
like they're secure, You're like, well, I don't know what
to do with this. I'm used to a little more
drama than this, like what's up?
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Little dramas like spicy in a good way, right, But
relationship with experts will say like, hey, if sometimes it
seems a little bit boring, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
It just means you potentially, I guess speaking particularly to
attachment styles not other things, but it may be okay,
and you actually should pay attention to that and embrace
it because you might be with a secure person, which
is good. We're just not used to that.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
And I think it depends how you grew up, too,
Like if you grew up having like a little bit
more conflict or like you said, like sweeping things another rug,
you naturally just do that because that's how you're comfortable.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Avoid avoid avoid. Yeah, my parents were very they avoided
a lot and not very emotionally available. Just weird because
I let all my emotions out. I never saw my
mom cry once, and I mean she went through some
really hard things that I never saw it. Are you
a crier?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
I am a private crier, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yes, I don't want my mom too.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Yeah, like cry in front of people, I will, though,
I mean sometimes it just happens. But like a big
thing for me is like when people go to the airport,
Like I hate going to the airport because I just
cry because.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
I hate like when people leave.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
We don't have any family here, and so for me,
like everyone comes to town, it's always like a little
bit intense because they're either in the house or whatever,
and they leave, and I feel like I don't know
when the next time I'm going to see them is
I don't know that's like always a hard place for me.
The older I get, the more I'm feeling comfortable crying
in front of people, and the more I'm.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Crying in front of people.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Is there a song on your new record that brings
up emotion or tears?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
The song Confessionals like makes me feel emotional. I wrote
it during COVID and my first relationship. I really struggled
getting over it when of my friends started dating him,
and so I had to like hang with them, and
I was like trying to be mature, like it didn't
work out with us, might work out with them. I'm
not going to stop to people from being in love
if they're in love whatever. But it was hard, and
(31:58):
so that song is like confessing that you're still not
with somebody that you're not with anymore.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
So it's obmitting. Yeah, I think we all have our
cry songs, at least I do. Or if I put
it on, I know I'm guaranteed to cry and you
get in my car. Well, ironically, it's a great day
to be alive. I was in college and it was
probably my sophomore year, and my boyfriend broke up with me,
and I just remember being in the shower listening to
that song on repeat, like on the shower floor crying.
(32:25):
And so now anytime I hear it, it evokes that emotion,
not because I miss him. So this is probably over
twenty years ago, but to this day, when I hear
that song, like I feel the emotion, Like that's one
where I could get in the car. I don't just
like start crying right away when I hear it, but.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
But you can feel like the emotion come out.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
I feel the emotion, and if I needed to cry,
I can go get in my car and go for
a drive and put on It's a great day to
be you know.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
It's crazy, is like for when I'm acting all sometimes
I like listen to a song because like it's hard
to just cry on command on a set or.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Like in front of a bunch of people.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
But like music or like pictures or whatever, like I
feel like that really can like take your emotions up
and take you back to that place. So I'll use
like songs to try to get emotional on purpose on set.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Have you ever had to do a take multiple times
and you're like, what, I just got the tears and
now I have to do it again?
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yes, or like the thing that always is funny to me,
is like you're getting emotional and somebody on set.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Will be like are you good? You good, and you're like, yes,
I'm acting, and you're wrecking it because you're like taking
me out of it. I'm like, sing, it is part
of my job. I always think that's like so funnier.
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Makeup will come up and like try to fix it
and you're like no, like the tears are I want
the tears this time.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Have you seen Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn, No, I haven't, Okay,
we had to watch it on the show. It's like
an assignment. We have this like movie Cinema club where
everybody submits movies and we spin it on a wheel
and whatever lands and we have to watch. And Eddie
on our show he always submits old movies, like he
loves black and white film, and so we're always dreading it.
Roman Holiday was one where I thought, oh, this is
actually really good, and I started reading about the movie
(33:59):
afterwards because I was very drawn to Audrey Hepburn and
her character and there's this scene where she needed to
cry and when I was reading about it later, like
she couldn't get it down and the director was so
mad at her, like he screamed her face off, but
then ultimately that's what made her cry, and then she
(34:21):
was able to nail the scene. I mean, he basically
said to her. I'm paraphrasing, but she was like wasting
everybody's time, and then she felt bad for wasting everybody's time,
and he made her feel so horrible. I don't know
if that was his plan all along. It kind of
seemed like I'm sure so I'm not quite sure his methods,
but that's how they eventually got to take.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Sometimes, like doing a crying scene fifty times, it's like
I can't cry fifty times.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
In a row.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
I've always wondered dating an actor would be hard, because
if you can cry on command, then I wonder sometimes
you know something's happening, and they're like, well if I
just cry right now, that'll helpful of this, and then
maybe they make them helse cry. Like if someone's just
really like that's their party trick, you know, like your
party trick is playing an instrument, yeh, and like shocking
(35:06):
people like, oh yeah, I can do the violin two
or whatever, but crying on command, like that's their thing,
then I just don't know that I could ever be
able to trust when they're crying or not, or dating
any actor for that matter. Have you being an actress,
have you dated actors? My ex before this was an actor, Okay,
did you ever wonder if he was like acting?
Speaker 3 (35:23):
I feel like I could tell. I could tell the difference.
But when I first started dating Jake, it was very
hard for him to date an actor, just like with
kissing scenes and all that kind of stuff. So his perspective,
I think, was it was pretty hard to date somebody
who he didn't know that world at all.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
I kind of grew up in it.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
So it's like if my ex had to kiss somebody's
I felt comfortable with it, which is very odd.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
To say, but I did.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
What is a kissing scene like with someone that you're
not I've dating?
Speaker 3 (35:49):
I mean, I've done kissing scenes in sex scenes and
it's wild, but like you get comfy with it. The
thing is like there's so many people in the room,
so it's there's nothing romantic about it at all. I
did a kissing scene like where I was on a
Western and the guy had chewing tobacco in his mouth,
and I was just like, really, yeah, he was in character,
but I'm like, can you be a little lessing character?
(36:10):
But they're not my favorite scenes to film. I feel
a little uncomfortable, just like having sixty usually men, like
with cameras in your face, like while you're doing that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
N Hathaway was in the news the other day because
she was talking about how for one audition for something
like she had already been cast as a character, but
they were auditioning whoever's gonna play the part, and I
think it was like ten different guys came in and
they expected her to kiss every single guy and she's like, mom,
that would be very difficult.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
And another thing that's really weird. And I was listening
to do you ever listen to the SmartLess podcast? They
talk about like they don't tell you if you're supposed
to like kiss with tongue or not, which is so weird,
Like some people do, some people don't, And it's like
this weird thing that nobody talks about in acting. And
for me, it's like I never do, but some people do.
And it's always scary to know, like are we doing this?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
So even with your your co host that you're having
the kissing scene with, like beforehand you're not like, hey,
so are you tongue?
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Like it's like so.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Weird, or you just go for it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
You just like see what happens, See what happens.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
And like the first time Jake did, he was on
Nashville and he had a kissing scene. He's like, so
like do we do tongue or like no tongue? And
I was like, I think for a guy, lean towards
no tongue. If the girl decides that's what she's going
to introduce, then whatever. Which is a weird conversation to
have with your husband about doing that with somebody else.
But it's just like this unspoken thing that everyone feels
(37:34):
so weird.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
About, but it seems simple to me, like you could
speak about it like before it happens, just like what
are we going to do?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
But it's weird, like you say, like are we using tongue?
Like I don't know, it's just so weird.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Or when you're reading your lines or you're doing a
table read or something, are you like okay, and here's
the kissing part, So how are we going to do this? Yeah?
I feel like the director.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Usually is like a little bit more passion guys, And
then you're like, oh tongue, I.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Would be nervous if I was an actor for some
scenes like kissing. Okay, fine, but like you said, some
scenes are far more intimate than that, and be thinking
about my parents seeing it.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
So do you ever think that I've my parents or
specifically my in laws. I don't love that when they
watch it. My parents are like, I think they just
like joke about it. They don't really care.
Speaker 3 (38:20):
But I always feel like bad if my husband's mom
is watching it, and like, I don't know, this is
a weird feeling, especially the sex scenes.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Well, speaking of partnerships like that, something fun that you
have coming up later this year is you're co hosting
the Canada CMAS with Thomas Rhett.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Yes, I'm so excited. I've only met him a couple
of times, but he has always been super, super sweet
and supportive.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
When it comes to people that you have worked with,
like it's their one person or artists with it. Like
maybe you've even worked just on a video like you
did Jacoen's videos.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Plural right, just the one video. Oh just Jack and Dianne,
Oh Jack and Diane.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Okay, so you did the video with Jaco and you
obviously have the song with Dustin Lynch during this time.
It's right, you have other experiences where you've worked with
a lot of other people, Like do you have a
favorite moment or person that you've enjoyed working alongside?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Well, obviously Dustin and I had a huge history with
the song, but I went on tour with Walker Hayes
and he has been such like a supportive person in
my life and his family. That tour was kind of
cool how that like came to be because I just
again texted him and was like, hey, I heard you
were going on tour, Like if you need an opening act,
(39:27):
like I'm your girl with a joke like winky face.
And he three days later called me and he's like, hey,
nobody else texted me direct and like you should always
ask for what you want because sometimes you get it,
and like come on tour with me, because.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
That was cool that you like just asked for.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
It, And for me, that was like a really special
moment and like a good learning lesson for me to
be like again, if you put yourself out there and ask,
then something cool could happen. Shoot your shot, Yeah might
as well. I mean it's not gonna happen if you
don't and be okay if the answers no, but.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
And answer is mostly no, but the yes could change
things big time. People know unless you go for it.
Which Walker is amazing. He actually he sings the theme
song for my podcast.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
He's such a great guy and like I texted in
pictures of my daughter and I don't know, he's just
really really kind.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Well, we'll close with the final piece of gratitude. We
never got to the fourth thing, which would be food
or drink that you're thankful for.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Right now wine because I don't like get to have
that that often because I'm breastfeeding and because I was pregnant,
so like the odd sip of wine I get.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
I'm just like praise and coffee.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
Have you done a pump and dump yet?
Speaker 2 (40:33):
I did the like test.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
Strips and it did come back showing alcohol and when
I did it, so I had to dump that. But no,
I had just been like, I need to figure that out.
I need to dump and pump more.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
Red or white?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Red?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Red?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
What are you are you?
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Red? Red?
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Yeah? Yeh. I used to be white in my late twenties.
I feel like now when I drink like pino grigio
is what I used to get all the time, and
I actually tried to do that recently and I did
not feel good the next day. I feel like anytime
I do drink, I have to take an unbooze pillow.
You'll need these, Okay. So Ray who works on the
(41:09):
Bobby Bone Show, he has a code. I think it's
like Susan Pray or something. I get that. I use
his code, but he saves ten percent. But it's used
to be called undo the Booze, but they just rebranded
to I think, just unbooze. And it's these herbal supplements
that you take after you drink, so at the end
of the night you would pop your supplements and then
(41:32):
supposedly when you wake up the next day.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Oh okay, you feel better.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
My supplements are usually like pop a couple time and all,
but right prefer to do something natural.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
And this isn't even for me. It's not like I've
had a lot to drink. Like it's like one marguerite
and I'm like, unbooze it. I don't want to do
everything to be as proactive as possible to not feel Why.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
Does it get harder when we get older, Like.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
When we get older, everything gets more difficult. So but
you know you still have some time. I'm you know,
you've got a lot of things going on right now
to keep you motivated, to keep you moving and going.
And I think one day you're going to like sit
back and be like, wow, I did a lot of
things which is really inspiring. And I think to a
lot of people, and I know you have a lot
of fans, especially young women that are looking up to you.
(42:16):
So I just wanted to encourage you to keep being
the amazing role model that you are and keep shooting
your shot with things and be a bison, which I
means perfect representation. You don't have to ask your family.
Are they still in the bison cattle business?
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Yep, yep, so that so they do for a living.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
You'll have to yeah, see if your parents know that.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
And I've never heard it, but I love it, like
I love the idea of walking into the storm instead
of waiting for it to pass, because I do feel
like it.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, it lasts longer if you don't face it on.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
Yeah, you a suck at the time, but you'll eventually
you'll get through it like a lot faster. So I
encourage y'all to check out McKenzie's new Apple and it's
called Nobody's Born with a Broken Heart. And then on
Instagram you're just at McKenzie Porter, mackenzie P Music, McKenzie
P Music. Okay, well, we're super excited for this new
music and for all that you have in store, and
(43:04):
I can't wait to see you back again when you
maybe have other projects, other babies, same husband, all the
other things. Okay, thank you again, Thank you so much.
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Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.