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March 11, 2025 23 mins
She is tired of being the side chick
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dashi and the jam In Morning Show with d J.
Forn It's Sat Morning, Austin's number one.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
For hip hop jam In ninety four five. Hi, everybody,
good morning. We are live from Disney and couldn't be
more magical. But that doesn't mean the dating stops. I
mean we still got the We still got to try
to find love out here. Six one seven nine three
one one nine four five six one seven nine three
one one nine four five talking dating love relationships. We

(00:30):
call it beyond the swipe flurn. Can I just tell
you I'm looking at the call screener when it gets
to Michelle. Santi points to it and goes, remember what
you told me in Foreign about that dream and that
Mike the fireman said he didn't love you for three years,
that he hadn't loved that number three stood out. Okay,
just remember that. Let's go to Michelle in Boston. Michelle, no.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Good morning.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, no, no, no, no, all right? So when is
this recent? Did this happen a few years ago? Tell
everybody what's going on?

Speaker 3 (01:07):
So we're still in the process of divorce. It was
three years ago that everything was discovered and his girlfriend
of three years, so he was with his girlfriend for
the three years before that. We were together for twenty years,

(01:29):
married from thirteen, and my son was the one who
found the messages and told me what was going on.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
I'm gonna I want to literally hug you also vomit.
Shall tell everybody what your ex husband did for work.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
He is a firefighter, and he would jem, he's a
city firefighter.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
Is he Boston?

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yes, he is?

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Last name Joyce kidding, I'm just kidding. Oh my god.
First off, I can't, I am I'm so sorry, Like
I can't even imagine this. But what do you mean
your son found the message? How old is your kid?
And like, what are we talking?

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Well, he's fourteen now. He saw messages and told me,
you know, daddy's cheating on you. And I said, oh,
that's got to be a joke. It's probably his group
chat with his boys, you know. Oh yeah, And no,
it was not his boys. It was his girlfriend. And

(02:43):
he would talk to her while he was at work
and then see her on his days off while I
was at work and the kids are at school.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
That for cheaters, the firefighter shift would be a godson
because they're gone from us for a whole days.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
Yeah, my lawyer told me if I could tell people
one thing, I'm sorry, Actually you would say, don't ever
marry a copper of firefighter.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I can't be puking here in front of the Disney people.
I mean, listen. I'm not shocked at at the statement,
because again I say, by to the fire man. He's
gone for a whole day, twenty four hours. He could
have a whole like side life there. Did you know
the woman?

Speaker 3 (03:26):
No? No?

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Wow, so you're okay? No affiliation to her? Is he
still with her?

Speaker 3 (03:33):
No? Nope, he has a new girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Now, Oh my god. When you found out and you
confronted him, did he try to lie or was he honest? Oh?

Speaker 4 (03:43):
No, he lied straight?

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah two years he lied for you. Wo yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Wow. I'm a little so sorry here and there. Yeah,
I'm gonna be honest with you. You sound you still sound
so dreamed by it. I feel like you sound exhausted,
and I don't know if that's because you still are
in I can't believe it's happening, or like, are you
in a better place now? Have you met to anybody?
Are you trying to date?

Speaker 3 (04:11):
I have not met anybody. I did two dates from
Hinge and then I just said, this world is crazy,
and I got off of that.

Speaker 5 (04:21):
It is.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
I'm drained only in the sense that like it's still
going on, like I just want it to be over,
I want it to be settled. But I can just
clear my mind from that part. But you're just not
making it easy.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
And you know why is why is? Why is he
not making it easy for you? He cheated? Why is
he not making it easy for you?

Speaker 3 (04:49):
I think some people just don't feel like they deserve consequences.
I think that he feels, you know, he's been able
to justify his choices in his head, and he felt
entitled whatever he felt entitled to, and you know, some
people just don't want to see consequences. Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, I listen, I feel I feel yeah, No, it's okay.
I mean I said, I don't think you need too.
I can hear it in your voice. I do want
to ask something because I know there's somebody in the
car that's hearing you and they're being a little beach
and they have an attitude. They're like three years and
she never picked up on that high insight looking back. Yeah,

(05:37):
I bet high insight looking back. Are you like, oh, Okay,
well maybe or was he strictly doing this while he
was at work or were there other times where you're like, oh,
I could probably see that he snuck off then, because
that's a three years is a long time.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah, looking back, I could see, And you know, I
started going to therapy for my because I was like,
something's off with us, like maybe I need to like
get my head right. I don't know, but he would
always just say, oh, you take everything so personally you're
so sensitive. No, but no, as far as I know.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
It was just while I was at work.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
I work twelve hour shift, so he I don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah, I mean, listen, they have they have a lot
of time, and you know, you got you definitely have
to trust because again they're gone for whole days. That's
that's that schedules. Not for everybody. It's certainly not for
the for I know a lot of my girlfriends will
say the same thing, well, because I've made the little
joke that I enjoy having the alone time because I do.

(06:44):
Uh So, there's there's some positives to it to bring
on the type of person you are, But you know
that is just in the end to think of of
him doing that to you while he was at work,
while like you're just thinking he's working. Is it's messed
up on a multitude of levels.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, And like I said, he's he lied about a
lot of it, So even the three years. I don't
know if that's accurate or if that's just what he's
coping to. But it's just this thing I struggled with.
Like you said, you know, people are going to say,
how did she not know? How is she so blind?
I did that to myself? And just what else was
not true in my life?

Speaker 5 (07:25):
Like?

Speaker 3 (07:25):
What else?

Speaker 2 (07:26):
And hey, can I just tell you I would have
done the exact same thing, Jenny, who's thinking that in
the car? Michelle? You'm saying the same name's over? But
my point is every single person that's in that would
think the same exact thing. I'd be like, what the hell?
Why did I have the blinders on? What's going on?
You know what? I now? I'm following the fireman to school?

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (07:48):
You want to go to school on Tuesday nights? Big
Mama's coming west. That's it. Listen, I do I think
I think you'll come out of it. I think it'll
be fine, And I think I know hinge depressed you
a little bit it, but something is gonna happen for
you because you deserve it. You deserve it.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
Thank you, all right, keep your head up, thank you,
thank you.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
Bye.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Oh my god, it's so painful.

Speaker 6 (08:12):
You can still hear the pain in her voice. Clearly
he's gaslighting her and also trying to get her back
all at the same time.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Guys, he's Boston fire too. Like when people call them like,
oh my husband's a firefighter and hang them or whatever,
it's like that has no Boston though.

Speaker 6 (08:27):
That's does it hit close close to home? Although I
don't I do not think the fireman is cheating.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh that's nice of you. Now I have to say
it's here.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Let's just let's just say.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Anonymous has been divorced for eight years and oh you
have a So your ex came clean to you. You
didn't even catch him. He came clean to you.

Speaker 7 (08:51):
So I yeah, no, he he fessed up. I mean
in like a drunken super he fessed up, but he
fessed up.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Let's tell me.

Speaker 8 (09:00):
So.

Speaker 7 (09:01):
I was like, we were we were happy, like we
were happy, happy until we weren't. And then I don't know.
I was kind of curious, like something was up. Something
was off for probably like six weeks, and I kept asking, asking,
and I'm not a check your phone kind of girl.
I'm not going to go there, so I'm just I'm
expecting him to be honest. He's like, nothing's up, We're good,

(09:22):
We're good. Went out with his boys one night. All right,
Audie went out with the boys. And then I kept calling.
I was messaging, turned his phone off, and then three
am he comes home. I heard a car. I was like,
what is going on? So I jump up by going
to the kitchen and he's in my kitchen standing there

(09:43):
with a female. I was like, wait, I go what
you brought her into my kitchen? Walked in three hm.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
I go, what are we doing?

Speaker 7 (09:53):
He goes, You've been curious, what's going on? This has
been going on. I've been sleeping with her for six months.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
I don't love you.

Speaker 7 (09:59):
When anymore, I want to divorce. I'm done here.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
All right, We're in the most magical place of earth.
What's wrong with you? People calling me with these stories?
Oh my god? Is he that drunk? Though that he
was like pissy and he was trying to prove up
point like I don't.

Speaker 7 (10:18):
He wasn't like I mean, I'd seen him way more
messed up than that, for sure, But I only have
to assume that he was a wreck because he was
pulling that kind of junk.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
I was like, no, because that's that's next level, like
any cheater in the world, Like they're not gonna you know,
she's home, but who cares? And by the way, the
fact that she was like this is a good idea, like.

Speaker 7 (10:41):
She actually the poor little lamb stood there staring at
my kitchen floor like the whole time. I didn't even
like glance in his direction. I literally just fucked up
to her and I said, you're so lucky that my
son is asleep in the room behind me, because I
would murder you. Where were your.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
Kid was alert? Your kid was home? Your your child
was home?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
All right?

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Who are these people? Who are these people? Oh my god?
This is.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (11:15):
So that they left, well, so so she like turning,
scurried out real quick, and he chased after her. But
super fun part of this story is that she left
her keys in my kitchen. So I took him. I
chucked him in the woods behind my house. My queen,

(11:36):
they were never to be seen again.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
It sounds didn't know that what she was walking into
though she knew you.

Speaker 7 (11:47):
I messaged her afterwards like, you know, I was nasty.
I was nasty. I messaged her, uh huh, and she
was like, I knew exactly what I was walking into
and I was proud to be there.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
I was like, oh what, I'm so sick of it. Hey,
I always wonder this. Are they still together now?

Speaker 3 (12:07):
No?

Speaker 7 (12:07):
God, no, no, Leo.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
He's a Leonardo DiCaprio type.

Speaker 7 (12:16):
He sure as hell is. He's got a new twenty
six year old and he is just in love with
and got a matching tattoo with.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Oh my god. Well, you know what. I know it
probably sucks to tell you this story, but I'm sure
you probably just made Michelle feel a little bit better
and a little less alone, because people go through this
stuff and it's just yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (12:34):
Hope, and you know what.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Honestly, listen, you sound like you're the end of the tunnel.

Speaker 7 (12:39):
Can I just say that the tunnel.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
The difference for me in the in the two calls,
her light is dimmed. Right now, your light is back,
and I think she can get to where you're at
for sure, she one.

Speaker 7 (12:50):
Can. I I had to make sure that I was
raising my child, keeping roofe over his head, and keeping
a steady job. And in that time, I didn't date,
I didn't look around for something else. I did nothing
but raise my kid and work. And I literally like
found myself getting back to a normal place because I

(13:12):
was focused on me and my kid and not what
else is out there. Now I'm at the place where
I'm like, Okay, let's see who we can mess with.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yeah, let's see what's up. I love it. Well, I'm
glad you called. I think she definitely needed to hear
that today. Thank you so much for the coll Anonymous.
I appreciate it. I'm just so sick of it. I
can't like to bring her how reason beyond her being
home the kid sleeping, you sick.

Speaker 6 (13:36):
Of Like, if you're going through that and you feel
compelled to a minute, just have a conversation.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Don't bring the proof home too. It wasn't the fire man, right,
it was done.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Hi, everybody, Good morning, It's Ashley in the jam In
Morning Show. We're live still in Orlando, right across from
the Magic Kingdom. We can see the castle from here.
I mean wild times for us. We've this is certainly
a goal for Santi and I don't We don't know
if we're coming back. We've peaked. We just took two
calls from two women that went through a very similar

(14:09):
situation but are at two opposite ends of the spectrum
right now. And I, by the way, this is why
I love the show, because I think the one needed
to hear the other and the other one needed to
hear the you know, because I think there is there
is a way to come out of such a horrible situation,
but it takes a lot of time and effort. You
putting it back into yourself, because that is a that

(14:29):
trust to be broken in your marriage in both of
those stories, and the way it was is that'll mess
you up.

Speaker 6 (14:34):
And also because the fact that he was cheating for
so long too, and you could still hear the hurt
in his voice.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
Fire Man's gonna be like, why do you keep coming
to the firehouse? The girls love riding the truck. The
girl's enjoy lighting down the wall, Anonymous, this is crazy.
I just talked about two different women that went through
a similar situation, but opposite ends of the spectrum, and
there you are, right in the middle of the spectrum,
causing all the problems. You told FOURG this, But how

(15:02):
would you describe yourself? You are the side check. I'm
you're the side check. Okay, listen, I'm I need answer.

Speaker 4 (15:18):
I don't feel like one.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Uh well, yeah, I'm sure we've heard that one before.
So you're the sidechick. You've been the sidechick for how long?

Speaker 8 (15:27):
Two years?

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Two whole years? Is he full on married or is
he got a girlfriend?

Speaker 4 (15:34):
Full on like twelve years?

Speaker 2 (15:37):
He's been married for twelve years. Does his wife know
that you exist?

Speaker 4 (15:42):
I would think so, you would say so she does.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah, but see, okay, so fine, guys, you think that.
But then we had that call that we just got
that she had no idea for three years, she had
no idea. Why why why side chick? Do you I'm
going to call you sidechick?

Speaker 4 (16:03):
You didn't give us like it's just a full blown
relationship at work?

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Where is work?

Speaker 4 (16:11):
A healthcare?

Speaker 2 (16:14):
So you guys work together in healthcare. You're not a
fire later lady or anything. You don't work. So you
work in healthcare together with this man who's full on married.
But you have a full on, full blown We're not
hiding a relationship at work. Does not a single soul
that you work with. Say to you, bitch, what are

(16:36):
you doing that man is married? You like you're ruining
a home?

Speaker 4 (16:43):
Say that again?

Speaker 2 (16:45):
What does anybody else pick up that she sounds sad?

Speaker 6 (16:48):
She does sound sad because she ultimately wants to be
with him, like full time, and she can't.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, but you're not.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
The main How many times has he told you that
he's leaving her just out of curiosity? Oh?

Speaker 4 (16:59):
Few?

Speaker 6 (17:00):
Yeah, it's never gonna happen. Have heard this story so many.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Times on this show.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Heard this so many.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
And here's the thing.

Speaker 5 (17:07):
I think anonymously told me when I picked up the
phone that he has kids in his cart marriage, but
other kids elsewhere, right, Yeah, and.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
She takes care of them, and I don't want to
do that.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
I don't has he has? He told you he wants
to have kids with you, but he has he can't.

Speaker 4 (17:25):
He can't have any more kids.

Speaker 8 (17:26):
I guess that was probably a stipulation and if marriage.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
See what I'm saying. Wow, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
So she was like, you want to fool around, that's fine,
but the one rule is you can't have any kids,
no more babies.

Speaker 8 (17:39):
Seems that way.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, how old. Are you.

Speaker 4 (17:43):
Thirty six?

Speaker 2 (17:44):
You're thirty six years old. You're wasting your whole life,
You're wasting your.

Speaker 8 (17:49):
Years good marriage, And I don't know.

Speaker 5 (17:53):
Maybe the better question is what is it about him
that you like so much that you you're willing to
be second place.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
I believe men can love multiple women. I don't believe
men love women in the same way.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
If Ford never asked me that question and refer to
me as second place, I would literally vomit.

Speaker 8 (18:10):
And that I feel like because he's at work with
me more and when we're not at work, he's with me,
so it's.

Speaker 4 (18:17):
Like, I'm not second plate, though.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yes you are, honey, You're not his wife. You're not
his wife, and you're not going to be. You are
second place, Like legally you are.

Speaker 8 (18:29):
Cooking, clean and take care of the five kids.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
It's not me.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
You're getting emotional dinners.

Speaker 8 (18:38):
No, I'm like trying to just get my voice.

Speaker 4 (18:40):
I get gied sang it dates, I get video pictures, everything.

Speaker 8 (18:46):
It is no discretion, So I don't feel like I'm
a sky chick.

Speaker 6 (18:50):
I said it, But fine.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
But what is your goal with this?

Speaker 6 (18:54):
Because you're never gonna fully have him unless he leaves
his wife, which if he does, fine, but he has
a pattern.

Speaker 4 (19:01):
Right, And that's exactly why I don't want to be
the wife, because they want then them there's chicken on boys.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, I think, I I want. You're not gonna You're
not gonna be well received right now, bye bye by
other women listening, and so I think, I no, no, no, no, no.
What I was gonna say is so props to you
for making the call and actually admitting to this, because
I'm telling you right now, even if you don't feel

(19:29):
it in the workplace, they're talking about you, and they're
they're they're yeah, they just all it just is what
it is. I mean. The bottom line is I feel like,
at thirty six years old, I get it. You've you've
had marriage and and it didn't work out for you.
But you're really trying to make I think you're trying
to convince yourself that this is what you want. I
I really do, because this is not this is not

(19:51):
ideal for any woman, Like I don't you want to
cook and clean, that's listen, I'm married, I don't. That's
not all I do. I got two kids. I'll sit
at home and cooking, clean and take care of the
kid like I do other things, like the way you're
boxing what it is to be a wife to somebody
acting like it's the worst thing on the planet. You
don't want those responsibilities. Maybe that's so, But I'm saying,
maybe your marriage before wasn't wasn't a good indication of

(20:15):
what marriage can be, and now you're stuck in this
rut of Oh well, I don't have to do any
of those old things I was doing your old marriage.
Maybe your old marriage was trash, and I if I were,
you wouldn't want to be any part attached to a
man who already has an attachment. And by the way,

(20:36):
we're not going to convince you who are the three
of us. We're just kidding.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
I gotta ask, is he like some kind of is
he a boss? Does he have a kind of you?

Speaker 4 (20:45):
I make more money, I make more money and I
offer it and he won't take it.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
So no, you're not going to convince us that this
guy's a good guy and he's a loser. I just
I don't unless the only way is what like what's
to Florence's point, If if the wife is literally like
I know you're in this relationship, it is okay, be
with her. Maybe I'm gonna go do my own thing,

(21:10):
which but I could never do. But if that is
the case, fine, but I'm not getting that.

Speaker 4 (21:17):
Okay.

Speaker 8 (21:17):
So, and I just told four in this that I
was just outside of the house because I have the address.
Sometimes I pick them up for work, like.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
And I almost want to just call and ask her
if it's true that she does know, because I don't know, because.

Speaker 5 (21:31):
That's what he's saying, that the wife knows, that.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
The wife knows, but he doesn't.

Speaker 6 (21:36):
He's he's telling her that she's a coworker that's picking
them up so the car.

Speaker 5 (21:41):
Listen to me, I think that I think the wife
knows because he's had kids outside of their marriage. And
you just heard the site say that the wife takes
care of all the children, every single one of them.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
All of them.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
Talk about a DAB talks about a d.

Speaker 5 (21:58):
A like me, just go out there and get a
bisected me and don't have any more kids. And you know, uh,
plan be over here wants to be planning. I don't
know what's gonna happen.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Wow, Well, listen again, your happiness is all that matters
for you. We're just conversing here we're chatting about your situation,
but we're not out here to convince you if you're happy.
You're happy. But I would assume you called because you
heard those other two calls and it made you feel
a type of way, because yeah, because I and I
that's totally understandable, because in a sense, you are that

(22:28):
woman to those to those those two that are listening. Yeah, well,
I wish you the best of luck in your side
chick endeavors. Hope it works out for you. You're welcome, babe,
God's speed, You're welcome. I want those people to call,
and so I certainly don't want to make her feel
like I want. But but he ain't leaving.

Speaker 5 (22:53):
I don't want to. That's but if he could have kids,
she would have she would have bare.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Him kids, she would have give him want.

Speaker 5 (23:00):
The two kids just to keep attaching and feel like
that's the way I'm going to keep this guy.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
And I hate like I'm just I'm not gonna stand
on this narrative of like, oh it's better because he
buys me gifts and I don't cook her clean. Stop it.

Speaker 6 (23:12):
Yeah, And also, no side piece wants to stay the
side piece.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
They want to be the mains.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Okay, what how long had you been? How long had
you been holding on the mains to me, he hadn't
spoken in ten minutes. He was I stand by that, though,
I think we all want to be the mains.
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