Football Ramble
The Football Ramble is a global podcasting institution. Since 2007, the Ramble has provided entertainment, analysis and coverage of the Premier League and beyond for football fans who don't take the world's biggest sport too seriously. In 2025, the takes are as strong as ever, the jokes are as funny as ever and the Ramble remains as essential as it ever was for football fans everywhere. Join them throughout the week as they discuss the world's biggest football stories in their inimitable style. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episodes
Stay away Krampus, Sir Jim Ratcliffe is allowing Man United to have a Christmas party! Until they lose 1-0 away to Wolves on Monday night anyway…
Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete are here to celebrate on behalf of the Man United staff. Plus, we wonder what animal Pep Guardiola would be and Pete aggressively gatekeeps any and all content about Japan.
Delightful Daniel Farke steered Leeds to a big win last night. Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete ask if he can be the man to keep them in the Premier League.
Elsewhere, Unai Emery celebrates Ollie Watkins' return to form in unusual fashion. Plus, Dan Burn is gearing up for panto season and Pete reveals his inner Boglin.
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Who would have predicted that late-stage Guardiola would have traces of Kevin Keegan? Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete are on hand to enjoy the nine-goal thriller at The Cottage.
Elsewhere, Cristian Romero has his, erm... Scott McTominay moment. Plus, a goalkeeper in Norway takes s**thousery to a whole new level.
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Liverpool got three valuable points at West Ham without Mo Salah in the XI. Arne Slot made the big call, but what does it say about Salah's future in this hard-to-gel Liverpool side? And has he stayed a season too long?
Marcus, Luke and David discuss on today's Mailbag! There's also important matters to attend to, such as Luke's impassioned defence of the history of Portsmouth, a potential X Factor judging panel of referees at t...
Stamford Bridge has been reduced to ashes after Chelsea and Arsenal played out a good old-fashioned barn burner in the Premier League.
Marcus, Luke and David get the pleasure of re-living it on today's Ramble. Plus, Harry Wilson once again gets his magic wand out and the guys try to help Andy Carroll sell his house.
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For all the tax-avoiding, non-dom citizens of Donaco out there – this one's for you.
Marcus officiates completely even-handedly as Luke faces the most unpredictable, irrational force of all: Pete Donaldson on a Friday. Fire up the V8 and get those eggs on!
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Show some f***ing respect. Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete explain why they expected more from Swiss football fans after the lovely Donyell Malen was targeted with missiles last night. They are meant to be neutral after all…
Elsewhere, Sean Dyche is starting to build a successful fort at Nottingham Forest and we’ve got a thigh rubber between Chelsea and Arsenal this weekend. Plus, Donny’s forced to once again relive the trauma of h...
Marcus, Jim and Pete dust themselves down after a proper European goal fest, as Liverpool continue to suffer their worst run of form since the mid-1950s. Probably wasn’t ideal that Virgil van Dijk was trying to referee the game from centre-back and PSV’s Ivan Perišić kept slurping from the Fountain of Football Youth.
Elsewhere, Arsenal reach another level against Bayern, Spurs put in a better showing against PSG and Sheffield We...
Estêvão - or "Steve" as Marcus likes to call him - put in a coming-of-age performance against Barcelona.
Today, Spellz is joined by Jim and David to reflect on last night's key learning: no player can resist hitting Marc Cucurella when given the opportunity. Plus, Pete shares an update from Marseille, and Alan Parry is unhappy with Gary Neville’s goalgasm.
At home against 10 men after two of the opposition players had a dust-up, you probably should be winning that one.
Manchester United are back in their chaos era and Pete, Jim and Luke are here for it. Today, the lads revel in that while not forgetting to give some credit to David Moyes for getting his first win away at Old Trafford. Plus, Pete informs us that he’s off to Marseille tonight to stay with a man called Fang…
It was a bad weekend for Liverpool and Tottenham in the Premier League. Is it time that they call Uri Geller? He'll surely sort it out.
Today, Marcus, Luke and David Cartlidge get an update from the great man before turning to Arsenal's title credentials and Jacob Murphy having a lovely time at the weekend. Plus, Marcus reveals the latest player he would like to be considered for the England squad.
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After a barn burning round of Jack's Encyclopaedia last week, it's My Biddy Aunt's turn to step up and provide the goods.
Marcus has a chance to unify the belts, but he'll need to get past the ever-growing Luke Nation and his army of goons if he's to do so. Pete's ready to officiate with his many, many buttons.
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Where's all the international football gone? Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete are forced to preview the North London derby. How dare UEFA do this to us!
Elsewhere, Rob Edwards gears up for his first game as Wolves manager, Estêvão passes his driving test and Lazio have finally replaced Juan Bernabé.
Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us here: show@footballramble.com.
...On this edition of Ramble Uncut, Marcus, Jim and Pete reminisce about their favourite detective dramas, their least favourite football movies and wonder where Napoleon’s penis has got to. Elsewhere, a Chilean businessman displays the old gates of Wembley and Madonna’s bra in a very esoteric collection.
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Three world-class goals and a heroic victory to reach the World Cup. It’s classic Scotland, right? Maybe not, but today Marcus, Jim and Pete are here to revel in one of the greatest games they’ve ever had the pleasure of watching. That’s what football do to ya, eh?!
Elsewhere, Wales’ seven goals against North Macedonia somehow aren't headline news and Curaçao make history. Plus, DR Congo earn a famous victory without breaking an...
In just seven months time we'll all be sat down, pint in hand, flare up bum, watching England kick their first ball at the 2026 World Cup. But which of Tommy Tuchel's lions will be lucky enough to get a starting spot?
Marcus, Luke & Jim pick out the 11 players they'd like to see start the tournament, and which players might be best off the bench. Plus, which current England player would make the best future Three Lions boss?
...Stop moaning about the international break. We never want to hear it again.
Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to unpick a barn-burning weekend which saw late drama in Budapest thanks to Ireland, late-night drama on the BBC Sport website thanks to Scotland and Belarus, and England confirm their perfect qualifying campaign. Come drink it all in while it's still hot.
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Well, here we are ladies and gents. After Vish ripped the Jack's Encyclopaedia belt from big Lukey Moore's waist last week, can Marcus and Jim save the day and prevent it from heading to Australia until the end of the year?
Pete has the difficult job of remaining neutral while refereeing this bout. It's northern hemisphere vs southern hemisphere, football vs cricket, marmite vs vegemite. Come on, let's have it.
Thomas Tuchel inspired England to sing both on and off the pitch last night. Today, Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete share their thoughts on England’s 2-0 win over Serbia... and Tuchel telling us why he isn’t a fish.
Elsewhere, we’ve got an incredible story brewing in the Caribbean and we share in Ireland’s delight after they saw off Cristiano Ronaldo and co in Dublin. Just please don’t forget about Troy Parrott!
England host Serbia tonight to kick off the international break. And it's a GUARANTEED barn-burner, isn't it?
With a royal vacancy now open, Luke and Vish join the call to crown Prince Marcus. Plus, we answer some of your burning questions about the Three Lions as we edge ever closer to bringing that beautiful trophy back to the Kingdom.
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