July 26, 2024 • 30 mins
As the new school season approaches, Kelly dives into the transformative power of deschooling and the stages of change that can guide your journey.
Discover how strategic planning, reflection, and the process of de-schooling can help you create a more meaningful and joyful homeschooling experience. Kelly shares her personal transformation story and provides actionable steps to help you navigate through the five stages of change:
- Pre-contemplation
- Contemplation
- Preparation
- Action
- Maintenance.
Learn about the various support options available through the 90-Minute School Day, including free resources, a self-paced course, group coaching, community membership, and one-on-one coaching.
This episode is packed with insights and practical advice to help you embrace change and achieve a fulfilling homeschooling journey.
Resources Mentioned:
- Episode 12 - Chaos to Clarity! The Craft of Personal Retreats
- 90-Minute School Day in the Life community
- Guide Training™, a live group learning environment, for those who prefer community learning, offered twice a year. Join the waitlist here.
- One-on-one coaching
- Self-paced course on the 90-Minute School Day method.
- Listen to or invite Kelly to speak about the 90-Minute School Day™.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to the 90-Minute School Day podcast. I'm your host, Kelly Edwards,
and today we are talking all about transforming your homeschool and the stages
of change process we use here at the 90-Minute School Day.
School is out. Natural learning is in.
(00:22):
Hey there, I am Kelly Edwards, your host of this podcast and creator of the 90-Minute school day.
This is not your typical homeschooling podcast.
Here you will find out-of-the-box stories from the trenches,
trainings, tools, and tips to guide you forward.
Music.
(00:44):
Yes, I like alliteration.
We will also share results and mindset shifts to support you in your journey
of living and learning alongside your out-of-the-box neurodiverse kids.
I'm so glad you're here.
It's a new season, and back-to-school vibes are all around us.
(01:05):
Seasonal changes often inspire transformation and new beginnings,
much like New Year's, or the transition from winter to spring,
and spring to summer, and summer to fall.
In the spirit of the season, today I wanted to talk to you about transforming your homeschool.
As a new year and school season approach, many of us begin to dream,
(01:29):
take inventory, purchase, and plan for our best year and lives yet.
I deeply encourage this. In fact, I take three personal retreats a year to focus
and realign my homeschool for this very reason.
See episode 12 of the podcast for more on this particular topic.
(01:53):
Music.
As we talk and think about planning in our new homeschool year,
our best life ever, let's get strategic.
Let's talk about strategic planning for homeschooling.
(02:13):
My question for you is, how strategic are you being?
What steps are you taking to get you from point A to point B? Where is your focus?
Are you focusing on how last year went? Is it on how you think homeschooling should be?
Are you focused on how someone else's homeschool is doing and finding things
(02:39):
about that homeschool that you are interested in replicating in your homeschool?
Are you focused on finding the just right fit, the perfect curriculum?
Perhaps you're focused on what is going wrong in your homeschool and you're
looking forward to finding the right fix.
Perhaps you're not sure what you are looking for and if you're looking for a
(03:01):
transformation in your homeschool.
If this is you, ask yourself these questions.
Ask yourself if any of this sounds like you. I am lacking confidence and I'm
worried I'm not doing enough.
I am burned out and have lost my joy and I'm looking for a fresh perspective.
I would like structure and accountability balanced with freedom for my homeschool.
(03:25):
I am new to homeschooling and I'm trying to figure out what works for us and I would like a roadmap.
I keep comparing everything we are doing to school. I know I need to shift my
mindset, but I don't know how or where to start.
Help. I need to figure out what to do when I'm overwhelmed and the kids don't want to do their work.
(03:47):
I am trying to find out how to homeschool all of my children while working part-time.
I'm looking for a community, particularly a community with neurodivergent kids
and parents who are also homeschooling.
I receive questions like this frequently from parents just like you.
(04:08):
Answering these questions and walking alongside you through the transformation
process, is why I've created the 90-Minute School Day.
Music.
Homeschooling is a journey, and de-schooling is a process on changing your mindset.
(04:34):
De-schooling changes you from thinking more is more to less is more.
De-schooling changes you from thinking about school as a top-down,
compliance-based operation to learning is connection-based, interest-driven,
and meaningful to the learner.
(04:57):
De-schooling takes you from an environment full of meeting someone else's expectations
for belonging to an environment full of safety, acceptance, and support. court.
Deschooling takes you from assumptions on what is required to learn to observing,
(05:20):
asking, and clarifying through genuine curiosity and conversations.
And lastly, deschooling can take you from the cultural striving for achievement
and worth to a culture of mutuality, purpose, living in rhythm and not by schedule.
(05:41):
Your mindset determines who you are and who you feel you are able to become.
Your mindset also determines who you will be.
So who are you? Who do you feel you are able to become in this next season?
Do you feel that you are doing enough? Do you feel you are enough?
(06:07):
When you shift your mindset around learning with de-schooling,
you start to notice several things.
You start to notice that you're being more present and compassionate with yourself
and your children and others,
that you begin to accept your own limitations and theirs, because we all have them.
(06:30):
And it's from this place that you can do more out of this fullness.
And then you have more. Most people do this backwards.
I know I certainly did. We start with acquiring more, that desire to get the
right tools and skills and programs that we think will make us more.
(06:54):
But all that really does is give us more to manage, and we don't have the skill set to manage it.
We need those soft skills I mentioned earlier, those soft skills of presence,
compassion, and acceptance of limitations, and each other.
The 90-minute school day is a framework and a system through the process of
(07:18):
shifting your mindset around learning.
I want to share with you part of my personal transformation story.
A few years into our homeschooling journey, my husband mentioned to me that
I wasn't smiling much anymore.
That really shook me. I've always had a quick smile and a loud laugh.
(07:41):
He was right, though. I was tapped.
I was overwhelmed by the pace of our life, my own expectations,
and the deep needs of my special needs kids.
I was underwhelmed by my parenting. I was underwhelmed by how I was showing
up in that season, I almost didn't recognize myself.
(08:02):
And I was trying so hard.
Despite my best efforts, we were all deeply struggling.
It was mind-numbing to me how difficult it was and how hard I was trying,
sacrificing left and right for my family.
Yet nothing seemed to be working, and I was coming up bone dry,
(08:24):
frustrated, and bitter.
Things needed to change i knew
that but how and what
i felt beyond defeated i had
barked up so many trees and i had tried all sorts
of different approaches curriculums and methods but nothing seemed to stick
(08:45):
change is hard things would get really rough and then it would even out about
for a bit before another twist and another event.
It wasn't the life I knew was available for us.
And I knew there was a way to access that life, but I just wasn't sure where
(09:07):
it was and how to get to it.
I knew that life was out there somewhere in this other realm.
Once we could access it, we would all be smiling again.
And until then, if I could just continue you to white-knuckle it and hold it together.
It was soul-sucking. Change is hard. The world flies by each day,
(09:32):
each month, and each year.
And it is so easy to get caught up in the motions of the day,
the responsibilities, the have-tos, and the need-tos, and then look for a little
bit of comfort with the status quo being good enough.
Change requires intention, planning, and action in the right direction.
(09:54):
Change for me started with me refinding my strengths and focusing on that and what was going well.
It's when I began to do this, pushing into my strengths, discovering my own
interests and those of my children,
that I began to make progress and I began to uncover joy and peace and contentment in homeschooling.
(10:22):
This is the abundant life that comes from shifting my mindset and coupling it
with relationship with my family members and my children built on mutual respect,
personal responsibility, and authenticity.
(11:29):
How do we embrace change in homeschooling? Are you considering changing your
entire approach to education and learning?
Are you looking to just shift things a little bit and see how it goes?
Are you seeking fulfillment and deeper connection with your kids and with yourself?
If so, let's talk about how we can begin to embrace change in our homeschools.
(11:54):
As I said before, we often want to solve our stress and our problems with more.
We want more enrichment, more curriculum, more activities and programming,
more structure, more control, more knowledge.
But maybe what we need is less.
(12:14):
Maybe what we need is to adjust our gaze from being problem-focused to becoming strength-focused.
Change requires requires learning, and learning involves risk, and often failure.
Risk is scary. It's unknown and full of doubts.
(12:38):
We need some information to engage with risk, to draw upon our experience and
the testimony of others and their experience.
To change the outcome of my homeschool, I had to change and adjust the inputs.
It was time to consider and learn alternative avenues to educate.
(13:03):
It was time to think outside the box. I had outside-the-box kids, after all.
It was time to take the time to question my limited beliefs.
It was time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
It was time to be brave and step out of my comfort zone.
My change process began with the de-schooling. Let's talk through the stages of change.
(13:31):
Challenging conventional thinking is a huge change process.
At the 90-Minute School Day, we recognize this and we use the stages of change
model of behavior to guide our de-schooling towards natural learning.
Psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente constructed the stages of
(13:54):
change model of behavior.
The stages are five-fold, and they are 1. Pre-contemplation, 2.
Contemplation, 3.
Preparation, 4. Action, and 5.
Maintenance. Let's break down these stages and apply them to homeschooling.
(14:17):
In stage one, pre-contemplation, we are in a stage of unawareness.
Not being aware, we haven't identified the problem.
You kind of have a feeling that something isn't working, but you just aren't
clear on what that thing is.
In homeschooling, it's usually what isn't working well.
And if your child is still in school, you're starting to question if school
(14:42):
is the right place for your child, which will lead you to stage two,
contemplation or awareness.
In stage two, you're starting to get an awareness of what the problem is,
but you're overwhelmed and you're not sure what to do about it.
So you begin to gather more information as you get targeted in your education on the subject at hand.
(15:06):
In homeschooling, this may may be where you're starting to shift gears and move
away from the more top-down approach that you've been using,
whether in school or homeschooling, and you're starting to get interested in child-led learning,
natural learning, but you're still needing some more information to be sure
this is a viable option, to understand where other families have done this with success.
(15:31):
You'd really like some research, you want to make sure you're not going to fail your family.
Once you've gathered that information and you've started to try some things,
you will move into preparation.
Once you've gathered that information, you've sat with it, you've done your
research, you're ready for stage three, preparation.
(15:54):
In this stage, we're getting ready. This is where you're finding support,
a helper, and you're formulating an action plan.
In this stage, you've found a methodology that sounds good.
Perhaps you found a coach or a program or a community or all of the above,
(16:14):
and you've decided to be all in and give this your energy and attention.
The preparation phase leads to stage four, action.
Now you're ready to make moves. You are ready to change and begin to do things differently.
You are ready to have trial and error.
(16:35):
You begin to implement what you've learned and start adapting through that trial
and error process to fit your family.
This leads you to stage five, maintenance.
In the maintenance stage, you are now continuing to experiment and adjust,
(16:55):
just, but you're really fine-tuning your process.
You're discovering each day that the beneficial outcomes are outweighing the costs to get here.
Joy is incentivizing you now, not sheer willpower and dedication.
You're starting to see how this is really working. And so you embed yourself
(17:17):
in community so you can stay connected with others who are on the same journey
with you, to remain encouraged by them and to in turn encourage them,
to resource one another as you grow in an ecosystem of support.
This is the five stages of change and how this model works.
Works and when you're in maintenance there are things that will dislodge you
(17:41):
and will set you back into stage one but typically stage two where you need
a little bit more information,
you need to prepare a little bit more your child has hit a new stage like they
do as they grow and develop and this time though because you're in community
you've had this experience of working through the change model you move through
(18:01):
much quicker and you can skip some of the stages because they're on repeat.
You have adopted the habits and habituated this process and you know how to
move in and out of it easier.
So now that we understand the stages of change model, you can ask yourself,
which stage am I in in my homeschool?
(18:24):
And am I making progress?
Am I moving through these stages? Or am I stuck here?
If so, what are the obstacles that are keeping me from moving to the next stage.
The 90-minute school day guides homeschooling parents through the behavioral
change process required for natural learning.
(18:46):
In other words, we take you from where you are stuck and needing support in
this process and help you get to maintenance and into natural learning.
Otherwise known as self-directed learning or unschooling.
(20:47):
We've learned about the stages of change and we've acknowledged in this episode that change is hard.
And change is hard because we have had to break behavioral patterns that don't
serve us well, but they're ingrained and habituated.
Changing is a learning process and it involves risk for us to learn alternatives
(21:10):
and put them into practice, which is why coaching and community are excellent
avenues to support ourselves in this process.
It is inside safe relationships and environments that we can begin to capture
those negative thought patterns,
and we can receive new ideas or be reminded of older ones that do work for us
(21:34):
to employ as a replacement for the negative.
And in community, we can discuss self-care practices to learn new to to add
to our repertoire, and how we can set healthy limits for ourselves.
And most of all, we will be surrounded by people who let us know we are not.
(21:55):
Alone and that we can do it with each other.
We are with people who understand and walk beside us through it.
So as you do some thinking and evaluating and thinking about the five stages
of change, your homeschool, where you're headed this year and what support you
need for yourself, you can begin right away.
(22:17):
Right after this podcast, begin noticing and working at awareness on what is
and is not working in your personal life and your homeschool.
Make these observations without judgment.
That means you write down just the facts, what you noticed.
(22:38):
I noticed I got angry today. I noticed so-and-so had a meltdown when this happened.
Write down what you notice, what worked well.
Didn't work. And then make a time daily or weekly for regular reflection on
these non-judgmental observations.
(22:58):
Keep noticing, this is a practice that you will continue throughout the entire
change process, which means this is just a part of self-care and healthy living.
So keep noticing, journal, take notes in your phone, email, or voice text.
Find a way that is easy and achievable for your lifestyle.
(23:19):
Share with others if you are comfortable, but if you aren't, that's okay too.
Self-reflection is a growing process, and the practice of noticing creates more awareness.
Remember, that's stage two of what is working and what needs to change.
After doing some reflection and really thinking deeply about what you want for
(23:41):
yourself and your family in your homeschool, Please consider the five avenues
in which the 90-Minute School Day serves families.
First and foremost, we offer so much free training and resourcing and support
on Instagram and on this podcast.
Please be sure you're following us on Instagram and you're subscribed to this podcast.
(24:05):
And if you have benefited from either of these free offerings,
please rate us here on the podcast. A simple click of the five-star button helps
other parents like you find this podcast.
You can take your support up a notch and write a review.
Thank you so much in advance.
The second way we support homeschooling families is through our self-paced course.
(24:30):
This is a three-hour course covering the basics of de-schooling,
biological rhythms, preparing your environment for independence,
and the 90-minute school day.
This self-paced course is ideal for those new to homeschooling or those looking
to shift into natural learning or unschooling.
The third way we support homeschooling families is through our guide training program.
(24:56):
Guide training is our group coaching container that walks through the de-schooling
process with a cohort of families ready to prepare and activate change.
In this course, we deeply dive into de-schooling, homeschooling neurodiversity,
and understanding the neurobiology of learning.
(25:19):
We go into deep detail on where they are in their brain states and how we can
meet them where they are and get them into a co-regulated state where they can learn.
We also deeply dive into biological rhythms, preparing the environments,
and the 90-minute school day.
(25:40):
Our fourth way of supporting families is through our new offering,
the 90-Minute School Day in the Life Community.
This is a monthly membership that helps you implement the change you have already worked through.
And you do it alongside other families with similar values and goals,
where you are educating your children through natural learning.
(26:03):
Together, we notice, observe, share, support, and resource in relationship.
The community meets together weekly on Zoom.
The community is also broken up into small groups that have an asynchronous
video chat going all the time.
So you are meeting with your small group daily.
(26:25):
You're communicating with one another. You're checking in. You're supporting.
You're peeking into each other's homeschools and learning from one another.
Also in the community, our guest experts, trainings, conversations, office hours.
Do take some time and check out all of these offerings.
And the fifth and final way we support families at the 90-Minute School Day
(26:45):
is through one-on-one coaching.
This is where you and I meet regularly and we target and shift your homeschooling.
You create the destination and together we work with tools, information and
scaffolding to journey through the stages of change with your family to your goal.
(27:07):
So some final thoughts as we wrap up. I hope that this podcast really helped
you understand how we all move through the stages of change once we've decided
to make change in our lives.
We can understand how these work by looking back at other places that we've
changed and worked through in our lives personally, professionally, in our families.
(27:29):
And this is the process that we can apply to our homeschooling in a really scaffolded,
targeted, and intentional approach through the lens of de-schooling. And you can start today.
Start by writing down what you love doing and what makes you smile.
Write down your strengths and things you're good at. Do this for your kids.
(27:53):
Note what doesn't come easy to you. Note what doesn't come easy to your kids.
These exercises may be hard at first, especially when you're doing it on yourself.
So if you're stuck and you can't think of anything, go ahead and call up or
text your best friend, your partner, or your parents and ask them for their input.
(28:15):
They will certainly be able to share with you your strengths and abilities,
as well as lovingly share with you where they notice you struggle.
Spend some time with that. decide where you are in your change process in homeschooling.
Are you in stage one and just listening to this podcast has kind of shifted
(28:35):
you into stage two where you're ready for more information and you want to look
to maybe come into guide training?
Please reach out to me. All the information is linked in the show notes.
Or maybe you've realized you've done a lot of this work yourself and you're looking for community.
You just need that container of like-minded, encouraging safe people to do homeschool life with.
(28:58):
Please reach out to us. We would love to have you. Or perhaps you really just
want to sit down and have a free coaching consult with me to see if one-on-one
coaching is a right fit for you.
Perhaps you have heard enough that you're ready to take a self-paced course.
You do really well with reading and learning on your own, and you're ready to start today.
(29:23):
Regardless of where you are, and if you're not sure, reach out to me.
Let me know a little bit about your family and I can let you know which of our
offerings will be a good fit for you.
We've got a great portfolio here at the 90-Minute School Day.
Music.
Welcome back to the 90-Minute School Day podcast. I'm your host, Kelly Edwards,
and today we are talking all about transforming your homeschool and the stages
of change process we use here at the 90-Minute School Day.
School is out. Natural learning is in.
(00:22):
Hey there, I am Kelly Edwards, your host of this podcast and creator of the 90-Minute school day.
This is not your typical homeschooling podcast.
Here you will find out-of-the-box stories from the trenches,
trainings, tools, and tips to guide you forward.
Music.
(00:44):
Yes, I like alliteration.
We will also share results and mindset shifts to support you in your journey
of living and learning alongside your out-of-the-box neurodiverse kids.
I'm so glad you're here.
It's a new season, and back-to-school vibes are all around us.
(01:05):
Seasonal changes often inspire transformation and new beginnings,
much like New Year's, or the transition from winter to spring,
and spring to summer, and summer to fall.
In the spirit of the season, today I wanted to talk to you about transforming your homeschool.
As a new year and school season approach, many of us begin to dream,
(01:29):
take inventory, purchase, and plan for our best year and lives yet.
I deeply encourage this. In fact, I take three personal retreats a year to focus
and realign my homeschool for this very reason.
See episode 12 of the podcast for more on this particular topic.
(01:53):
Music.
As we talk and think about planning in our new homeschool year,
our best life ever, let's get strategic.
Let's talk about strategic planning for homeschooling.
(02:13):
My question for you is, how strategic are you being?
What steps are you taking to get you from point A to point B? Where is your focus?
Are you focusing on how last year went? Is it on how you think homeschooling should be?
Are you focused on how someone else's homeschool is doing and finding things
(02:39):
about that homeschool that you are interested in replicating in your homeschool?
Are you focused on finding the just right fit, the perfect curriculum?
Perhaps you're focused on what is going wrong in your homeschool and you're
looking forward to finding the right fix.
Perhaps you're not sure what you are looking for and if you're looking for a
(03:01):
transformation in your homeschool.
If this is you, ask yourself these questions.
Ask yourself if any of this sounds like you. I am lacking confidence and I'm
worried I'm not doing enough.
I am burned out and have lost my joy and I'm looking for a fresh perspective.
I would like structure and accountability balanced with freedom for my homeschool.
(03:25):
I am new to homeschooling and I'm trying to figure out what works for us and I would like a roadmap.
I keep comparing everything we are doing to school. I know I need to shift my
mindset, but I don't know how or where to start.
Help. I need to figure out what to do when I'm overwhelmed and the kids don't want to do their work.
(03:47):
I am trying to find out how to homeschool all of my children while working part-time.
I'm looking for a community, particularly a community with neurodivergent kids
and parents who are also homeschooling.
I receive questions like this frequently from parents just like you.
(04:08):
Answering these questions and walking alongside you through the transformation
process, is why I've created the 90-Minute School Day.
Music.
Homeschooling is a journey, and de-schooling is a process on changing your mindset.
(04:34):
De-schooling changes you from thinking more is more to less is more.
De-schooling changes you from thinking about school as a top-down,
compliance-based operation to learning is connection-based, interest-driven,
and meaningful to the learner.
(04:57):
De-schooling takes you from an environment full of meeting someone else's expectations
for belonging to an environment full of safety, acceptance, and support. court.
Deschooling takes you from assumptions on what is required to learn to observing,
(05:20):
asking, and clarifying through genuine curiosity and conversations.
And lastly, deschooling can take you from the cultural striving for achievement
and worth to a culture of mutuality, purpose, living in rhythm and not by schedule.
(05:41):
Your mindset determines who you are and who you feel you are able to become.
Your mindset also determines who you will be.
So who are you? Who do you feel you are able to become in this next season?
Do you feel that you are doing enough? Do you feel you are enough?
(06:07):
When you shift your mindset around learning with de-schooling,
you start to notice several things.
You start to notice that you're being more present and compassionate with yourself
and your children and others,
that you begin to accept your own limitations and theirs, because we all have them.
(06:30):
And it's from this place that you can do more out of this fullness.
And then you have more. Most people do this backwards.
I know I certainly did. We start with acquiring more, that desire to get the
right tools and skills and programs that we think will make us more.
(06:54):
But all that really does is give us more to manage, and we don't have the skill set to manage it.
We need those soft skills I mentioned earlier, those soft skills of presence,
compassion, and acceptance of limitations, and each other.
The 90-minute school day is a framework and a system through the process of
(07:18):
shifting your mindset around learning.
I want to share with you part of my personal transformation story.
A few years into our homeschooling journey, my husband mentioned to me that
I wasn't smiling much anymore.
That really shook me. I've always had a quick smile and a loud laugh.
(07:41):
He was right, though. I was tapped.
I was overwhelmed by the pace of our life, my own expectations,
and the deep needs of my special needs kids.
I was underwhelmed by my parenting. I was underwhelmed by how I was showing
up in that season, I almost didn't recognize myself.
(08:02):
And I was trying so hard.
Despite my best efforts, we were all deeply struggling.
It was mind-numbing to me how difficult it was and how hard I was trying,
sacrificing left and right for my family.
Yet nothing seemed to be working, and I was coming up bone dry,
(08:24):
frustrated, and bitter.
Things needed to change i knew
that but how and what
i felt beyond defeated i had
barked up so many trees and i had tried all sorts
of different approaches curriculums and methods but nothing seemed to stick
(08:45):
change is hard things would get really rough and then it would even out about
for a bit before another twist and another event.
It wasn't the life I knew was available for us.
And I knew there was a way to access that life, but I just wasn't sure where
(09:07):
it was and how to get to it.
I knew that life was out there somewhere in this other realm.
Once we could access it, we would all be smiling again.
And until then, if I could just continue you to white-knuckle it and hold it together.
It was soul-sucking. Change is hard. The world flies by each day,
(09:32):
each month, and each year.
And it is so easy to get caught up in the motions of the day,
the responsibilities, the have-tos, and the need-tos, and then look for a little
bit of comfort with the status quo being good enough.
Change requires intention, planning, and action in the right direction.
(09:54):
Change for me started with me refinding my strengths and focusing on that and what was going well.
It's when I began to do this, pushing into my strengths, discovering my own
interests and those of my children,
that I began to make progress and I began to uncover joy and peace and contentment in homeschooling.
(10:22):
This is the abundant life that comes from shifting my mindset and coupling it
with relationship with my family members and my children built on mutual respect,
personal responsibility, and authenticity.
(11:29):
How do we embrace change in homeschooling? Are you considering changing your
entire approach to education and learning?
Are you looking to just shift things a little bit and see how it goes?
Are you seeking fulfillment and deeper connection with your kids and with yourself?
If so, let's talk about how we can begin to embrace change in our homeschools.
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As I said before, we often want to solve our stress and our problems with more.
We want more enrichment, more curriculum, more activities and programming,
more structure, more control, more knowledge.
But maybe what we need is less.
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Maybe what we need is to adjust our gaze from being problem-focused to becoming strength-focused.
Change requires requires learning, and learning involves risk, and often failure.
Risk is scary. It's unknown and full of doubts.
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We need some information to engage with risk, to draw upon our experience and
the testimony of others and their experience.
To change the outcome of my homeschool, I had to change and adjust the inputs.
It was time to consider and learn alternative avenues to educate.
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It was time to think outside the box. I had outside-the-box kids, after all.
It was time to take the time to question my limited beliefs.
It was time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
It was time to be brave and step out of my comfort zone.
My change process began with the de-schooling. Let's talk through the stages of change.
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Challenging conventional thinking is a huge change process.
At the 90-Minute School Day, we recognize this and we use the stages of change
model of behavior to guide our de-schooling towards natural learning.
Psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente constructed the stages of
(13:54):
change model of behavior.
The stages are five-fold, and they are 1. Pre-contemplation, 2.
Contemplation, 3.
Preparation, 4. Action, and 5.
Maintenance. Let's break down these stages and apply them to homeschooling.
(14:17):
In stage one, pre-contemplation, we are in a stage of unawareness.
Not being aware, we haven't identified the problem.
You kind of have a feeling that something isn't working, but you just aren't
clear on what that thing is.
In homeschooling, it's usually what isn't working well.
And if your child is still in school, you're starting to question if school
(14:42):
is the right place for your child, which will lead you to stage two,
contemplation or awareness.
In stage two, you're starting to get an awareness of what the problem is,
but you're overwhelmed and you're not sure what to do about it.
So you begin to gather more information as you get targeted in your education on the subject at hand.
(15:06):
In homeschooling, this may may be where you're starting to shift gears and move
away from the more top-down approach that you've been using,
whether in school or homeschooling, and you're starting to get interested in child-led learning,
natural learning, but you're still needing some more information to be sure
this is a viable option, to understand where other families have done this with success.
(15:31):
You'd really like some research, you want to make sure you're not going to fail your family.
Once you've gathered that information and you've started to try some things,
you will move into preparation.
Once you've gathered that information, you've sat with it, you've done your
research, you're ready for stage three, preparation.
(15:54):
In this stage, we're getting ready. This is where you're finding support,
a helper, and you're formulating an action plan.
In this stage, you've found a methodology that sounds good.
Perhaps you found a coach or a program or a community or all of the above,
(16:14):
and you've decided to be all in and give this your energy and attention.
The preparation phase leads to stage four, action.
Now you're ready to make moves. You are ready to change and begin to do things differently.
You are ready to have trial and error.
(16:35):
You begin to implement what you've learned and start adapting through that trial
and error process to fit your family.
This leads you to stage five, maintenance.
In the maintenance stage, you are now continuing to experiment and adjust,
(16:55):
just, but you're really fine-tuning your process.
You're discovering each day that the beneficial outcomes are outweighing the costs to get here.
Joy is incentivizing you now, not sheer willpower and dedication.
You're starting to see how this is really working. And so you embed yourself
(17:17):
in community so you can stay connected with others who are on the same journey
with you, to remain encouraged by them and to in turn encourage them,
to resource one another as you grow in an ecosystem of support.
This is the five stages of change and how this model works.
Works and when you're in maintenance there are things that will dislodge you
(17:41):
and will set you back into stage one but typically stage two where you need
a little bit more information,
you need to prepare a little bit more your child has hit a new stage like they
do as they grow and develop and this time though because you're in community
you've had this experience of working through the change model you move through
(18:01):
much quicker and you can skip some of the stages because they're on repeat.
You have adopted the habits and habituated this process and you know how to
move in and out of it easier.
So now that we understand the stages of change model, you can ask yourself,
which stage am I in in my homeschool?
(18:24):
And am I making progress?
Am I moving through these stages? Or am I stuck here?
If so, what are the obstacles that are keeping me from moving to the next stage.
The 90-minute school day guides homeschooling parents through the behavioral
change process required for natural learning.
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In other words, we take you from where you are stuck and needing support in
this process and help you get to maintenance and into natural learning.
Otherwise known as self-directed learning or unschooling.
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We've learned about the stages of change and we've acknowledged in this episode that change is hard.
And change is hard because we have had to break behavioral patterns that don't
serve us well, but they're ingrained and habituated.
Changing is a learning process and it involves risk for us to learn alternatives
(21:10):
and put them into practice, which is why coaching and community are excellent
avenues to support ourselves in this process.
It is inside safe relationships and environments that we can begin to capture
those negative thought patterns,
and we can receive new ideas or be reminded of older ones that do work for us
(21:34):
to employ as a replacement for the negative.
And in community, we can discuss self-care practices to learn new to to add
to our repertoire, and how we can set healthy limits for ourselves.
And most of all, we will be surrounded by people who let us know we are not.
(21:55):
Alone and that we can do it with each other.
We are with people who understand and walk beside us through it.
So as you do some thinking and evaluating and thinking about the five stages
of change, your homeschool, where you're headed this year and what support you
need for yourself, you can begin right away.
(22:17):
Right after this podcast, begin noticing and working at awareness on what is
and is not working in your personal life and your homeschool.
Make these observations without judgment.
That means you write down just the facts, what you noticed.
(22:38):
I noticed I got angry today. I noticed so-and-so had a meltdown when this happened.
Write down what you notice, what worked well.
Didn't work. And then make a time daily or weekly for regular reflection on
these non-judgmental observations.
(22:58):
Keep noticing, this is a practice that you will continue throughout the entire
change process, which means this is just a part of self-care and healthy living.
So keep noticing, journal, take notes in your phone, email, or voice text.
Find a way that is easy and achievable for your lifestyle.
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Share with others if you are comfortable, but if you aren't, that's okay too.
Self-reflection is a growing process, and the practice of noticing creates more awareness.
Remember, that's stage two of what is working and what needs to change.
After doing some reflection and really thinking deeply about what you want for
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yourself and your family in your homeschool, Please consider the five avenues
in which the 90-Minute School Day serves families.
First and foremost, we offer so much free training and resourcing and support
on Instagram and on this podcast.
Please be sure you're following us on Instagram and you're subscribed to this podcast.
(24:05):
And if you have benefited from either of these free offerings,
please rate us here on the podcast. A simple click of the five-star button helps
other parents like you find this podcast.
You can take your support up a notch and write a review.
Thank you so much in advance.
The second way we support homeschooling families is through our self-paced course.
(24:30):
This is a three-hour course covering the basics of de-schooling,
biological rhythms, preparing your environment for independence,
and the 90-minute school day.
This self-paced course is ideal for those new to homeschooling or those looking
to shift into natural learning or unschooling.
The third way we support homeschooling families is through our guide training program.
(24:56):
Guide training is our group coaching container that walks through the de-schooling
process with a cohort of families ready to prepare and activate change.
In this course, we deeply dive into de-schooling, homeschooling neurodiversity,
and understanding the neurobiology of learning.
(25:19):
We go into deep detail on where they are in their brain states and how we can
meet them where they are and get them into a co-regulated state where they can learn.
We also deeply dive into biological rhythms, preparing the environments,
and the 90-minute school day.
(25:40):
Our fourth way of supporting families is through our new offering,
the 90-Minute School Day in the Life Community.
This is a monthly membership that helps you implement the change you have already worked through.
And you do it alongside other families with similar values and goals,
where you are educating your children through natural learning.
(26:03):
Together, we notice, observe, share, support, and resource in relationship.
The community meets together weekly on Zoom.
The community is also broken up into small groups that have an asynchronous
video chat going all the time.
So you are meeting with your small group daily.
(26:25):
You're communicating with one another. You're checking in. You're supporting.
You're peeking into each other's homeschools and learning from one another.
Also in the community, our guest experts, trainings, conversations, office hours.
Do take some time and check out all of these offerings.
And the fifth and final way we support families at the 90-Minute School Day
(26:45):
is through one-on-one coaching.
This is where you and I meet regularly and we target and shift your homeschooling.
You create the destination and together we work with tools, information and
scaffolding to journey through the stages of change with your family to your goal.
(27:07):
So some final thoughts as we wrap up. I hope that this podcast really helped
you understand how we all move through the stages of change once we've decided
to make change in our lives.
We can understand how these work by looking back at other places that we've
changed and worked through in our lives personally, professionally, in our families.
(27:29):
And this is the process that we can apply to our homeschooling in a really scaffolded,
targeted, and intentional approach through the lens of de-schooling. And you can start today.
Start by writing down what you love doing and what makes you smile.
Write down your strengths and things you're good at. Do this for your kids.
(27:53):
Note what doesn't come easy to you. Note what doesn't come easy to your kids.
These exercises may be hard at first, especially when you're doing it on yourself.
So if you're stuck and you can't think of anything, go ahead and call up or
text your best friend, your partner, or your parents and ask them for their input.
(28:15):
They will certainly be able to share with you your strengths and abilities,
as well as lovingly share with you where they notice you struggle.
Spend some time with that. decide where you are in your change process in homeschooling.
Are you in stage one and just listening to this podcast has kind of shifted
(28:35):
you into stage two where you're ready for more information and you want to look
to maybe come into guide training?
Please reach out to me. All the information is linked in the show notes.
Or maybe you've realized you've done a lot of this work yourself and you're looking for community.
You just need that container of like-minded, encouraging safe people to do homeschool life with.
(28:58):
Please reach out to us. We would love to have you. Or perhaps you really just
want to sit down and have a free coaching consult with me to see if one-on-one
coaching is a right fit for you.
Perhaps you have heard enough that you're ready to take a self-paced course.
You do really well with reading and learning on your own, and you're ready to start today.
(29:23):
Regardless of where you are, and if you're not sure, reach out to me.
Let me know a little bit about your family and I can let you know which of our
offerings will be a good fit for you.
We've got a great portfolio here at the 90-Minute School Day.
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