After betrayal, many people feel like they’re walking around under a spotlight, like everyone is watching, whispering, judging. But here’s the truth: it’s not always their judgement that holds you back, it’s your perception of it.
In this episode, Luke unpacks how imagined judgement can shape your behaviour, limit your authenticity, and keep you stuck in cycles of shame and silence. More importantly, he reveals how to reclaim your voice and your freedom by learning to question the real critic, the one inside.
Whether you’re the betrayed or the unfaithful partner, or just someone carrying shame and fear about what others think… this episode will help you reconnect with the only opinion that truly matters: your own.
🎯 Key Takeaways:✔️ The psychology behind the “spotlight effect” and projection bias.
✔️ Why our own inner critic often speaks louder than real external judgment.
✔️ How shame leads to self-abandonment in relationships and beyond.
✔️ Luke’s personal experience with masking vulnerability in his relationship.
✔️ Practical tools to reframe the stories you tell yourself and show up more authentically.
💬 Reflection Question:
If no one else’s opinion mattered… how would you show up differently?
Connect with Luke:
Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
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