164. They Chose Someone Else: What Does That Say About Me?

One of the most painful parts of betrayal is believing someone else was chosen instead of you.

It can feel like a verdict, proof that you weren’t enough, that your worth has been measured and found wanting.

But what if being chosen was never the measure of your value in the first place?

In this episode, Luke explores the deeply human craving to be chosen and how it becomes distorted after betrayal. He explains why comparing yourself to an affair partner keeps you trapped in a story that was never about you, and how to reclaim your worth from the false belief that someone else’s choice defines it.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why them, not me?” this episode will help you find peace, clarity, and strength in remembering that your value was never up for debate.

Key Takeaways:

• The desire to be chosen is deeply human, but it’s not the measure of your worth.
• Betrayal distorts “being chosen” into comparison and self-blame.
• An affair partner isn’t proof of your inadequacy, they’re a mirror reflecting someone else’s disconnection.
• Being desired feels good, but when it becomes your evidence of value, you lose self-trust.
• Healing begins when you stop needing to be chosen and start choosing yourself.

Connect & Continue the Journey

If today’s episode helped you see yourself more clearly, you don’t have to stop here.

Through one-to-one coaching and The After the Affair Collective, Luke helps people rebuild self-worth that doesn’t depend on being picked, proving, or pleasing.

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: [e-mail]