March 27, 2024 • 15 mins
Do you ever spend your time thinking about what if? What if things go wrong? What if you hadn't done something? Of course you have, most of our actions and thoughts are often dictated by the question "What if?"
In the latest episode, we explore how "what-ifs" often hold us back from stepping out of our comfort zones — whether it's the hesitation in posting a video online or refraining from speaking publicly.
Over 18 minutes, I share some perspective shifts that enable you to take control of your narrative and explore all the infinite possibilities available to you. Grab a cup of coffee and learn more about:
- how to strategically harness the 'what if' question to better envision the best possible outcomes.
- to get curious about your future and what you can learn from your past
- to see the potential of asking 'what if questions' when planning to switch jobs, start a business, or simply posting a video.
- how to move from fear to empowerment as you take ownership of your life's story.
This episode is perfect for anyone that is looking to change things up in now and in the future.
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Don't Forget To Be Awesome!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Music.
(00:15):
Greetings and salutations wherever you are in the universe and
welcome to the latest episode of an expresso shot
of confidence the podcast that explores confidence from all angles and empowers
you to be awesome loudly and proudly it's time to grab yourself a drink and
settle in for the next however long this episode is i'm your host the master
(00:37):
of awesomeness Ashley Griffiths,
and today we'll be looking at the future and the past and a question that often
dominates our thoughts when we're considering an action.
That question starts with what if.
Life is dominated by them. We
(00:59):
often think about all the things that could
go wrong if we dare to step
out of our comfort zone and getting lost
in those thoughts often leads us not
taking any actions because we're
too afraid we're too scared about all
(01:19):
the things that could happen if we
take an action and to quote
what Roald Dahl from Charlie and the Chocolate factory
you'll never get anywhere if you go about
what if-ing like that because let's
take an example say videos i work with clients to get confident on video and
(01:42):
many of them don't do it initially because they're worried about what might
happen they ask themselves what if somebody trolls me?
What if somebody calls me out? What if somebody says something negative about
my voice or my appearance?
What if I get banned from LinkedIn? What if it takes me 900 hours to record a video?
(02:08):
What if I can't do it? What if somebody calls me stupid?
What if the world explodes if I press the the record button.
That's a lot of negativity. That's a lot of fear right there, right? A lot of it.
And all of that fear can stop you from taking action.
It can stop you from finding joy.
(02:32):
It just literally sucks the joy out of the room because you're too afraid of
the consequences of an action.
And therefore, you don't take the action. you
don't do that action because it's just
too loaded it makes you feel too vulnerable
it's too risky to step outside
(02:54):
of your comfort zone and throw out a few shapes and this shows up in all areas
of life take the example if you're going to change jobs or you're thinking of
changing jobs or starting a business right now you're in a job that you don't
particularly like but with the cost of of living crisis, you're thinking, well,
better safe than sorry.
(03:16):
And then you see a job advert and you go, wow, that looks good.
Well, I could do that. That's exactly my dream job. I've wanted a job like that forever.
I'm going to apply, but, and you stop yourself and the narrative starts.
Well, what if I don't get the job? What if they don't think I'm experienced enough?
(03:40):
What if I get invited to an interview and I
mess it up what if I quit my job
and I don't get another job what if
they laugh at me in the interview what if
I'm stuck in this job that I hate for the rest of my life and again the fear
sets in and a lot of the time what happens then is you just stay stuck you stay
(04:04):
in that place or you find an excuse or another activity to do that feels more comfortable.
There's a reason so many of us spend so long scrolling online looking at cat
memes, watching Love Island, I'm not judging you by the way,
and whatever else it is that we do,
to fill in the gap of time where we could be actually making a positive change in our world.
(04:32):
But we don't do that positive change because the what-ifs just make the whole
situation feel so goddamn loaded.
But let's change that right now.
Because ultimately, when you don't make that change, when you stay stuck where
you are, when you let fear dictate the narrative, you are limiting your options moving forward.
(04:55):
You are keeping yourself from the things you truly want. Be that dream holiday,
that relationship, the job, the successful business you've always wanted.
All of these things are totally possible
for you. And to make those things happen, you need to get curious.
(05:15):
And the way that you can get curious is actually by using the what if questions.
And in a minute, I'll show you how. because it's a really, really creative,
fun, engaging way to actually say, okay, what is possible here?
(05:36):
I'm just going to share a quote with you before I do go into that by Angelina
Jolie because I think it acts as a really nice transition.
So you'd think, what if I make a mistake today? I'll regret it.
I don't believe in regret. I feel everything leads us to where we are and we
have to just jump forward.
Meanwhile, commit and see what happens.
(05:59):
So let's explore that. Let's explore what is possible right now by taking that
what if, looking forwards, looking now, seeing what is possible,
what exciting things could happen.
So let me just share you a story with that. I used to never do public speaking
(06:22):
because I was terrified that I would face plant myself when I got on stage.
I hated the idea of it. It was scary.
Or that people would laugh at me when I got on stage.
That I'd go beetroot red. I'd look down and realize I'd not put my trousers
on and I was wearing some really embarrassing underwear.
(06:45):
Or maybe no underwear at all. and it's a
cold day and it stopped
me because i was thinking well what if that happened now let's
think about this realistically how many shows have
you been to when somebody's actually rocked up and forgotten
to put their trousers or their dress on not many
i'm guessing and if you're thinking well yeah i've been
(07:07):
to some of those was it by design it's not
going going to happen right you know we tell ourselves these crazy
stories about what we think
might happen you know like the world
will explode if i post a goddamn video you
know i i can't do public speaking on the off chance i trip
(07:28):
over wow it's extremely
possible geez bruce springsteen did it on stage the
other week and what did he do he got back
up picked up his guitar wave to the crowd i'm all
right and the show must go on yeah he
was probably embarrassed he was probably a little shook up about it
but you would have never guessed because he cracked on
(07:50):
he was the consummate professional and i
know for a fact if i was to face plant myself or to slip or trip i would try
if i hadn't face planted myself to turn it into a little dance and i would make
a joke about it i know that now because i asked myself the question well what
if you do face plant yourself What then?
(08:12):
And I remember when I first practiced this activity,
there's this moment when you take the narrative and twist it around,
where your subconscious or your ego or whatever it is that's driving these messages
in your head, it stops. It's like, what?
(08:33):
And it's got nothing to say. because ultimately
it's spinning this situation of
complete nonsense out of control in
your head and putting massive control over you
but when you spin it round there's no
power in that voice anymore zero it's gone it doesn't know what to say with
(08:55):
it and it will try it will try to get control again so take the example okay
so what if i face plant myself what then well i I might do a little dance.
Yeah, but people will laugh.
Okay. And what if people laugh?
Well, maybe because they actually think the little dance is funny or they're
trying to make you feel less self-aware.
(09:17):
Okay. So what if they make it funny? Well, then I've broken the ice and immediately
the crowd are a lot more at ease.
You see, you know, there's nowhere for that negative voice to go in the end.
It runs out of steam. and I always
say the same when it comes to videos people say
well what if people judge me what happens
(09:39):
if I press the record button it turns out to be an ejector
seat and I fly through the wind I'm like well what
if you did what would
you do if you were flying you'd be like wouldn't that be be
amazing because we we
waste so much time on thinking about
(09:59):
the what-ifs could happen and we definitely waste a lot of time on looking back
at all our mistakes and our regrets and and all of that and what if i had done
that well you didn't so what if that situation arose again what would would you change?
What could you change? What could you do differently this time to get a better result?
(10:23):
How would you act more differently in that situation so you don't upset that
person or you don't lose a relationship because something really small escalated?
What if you did that? What is possible there?
So my question to you, my invitation to you is, what if you did post that that video.
(10:48):
What doors does that open? Who might see it?
How might you be more confident by doing that?
What could you get in your business and your life by learning that skill and
growing in that confidence and increasing your network? What is possible?
(11:08):
Or take this example. Say you've always wanted to go traveling,
but you've always held yourself back because, well, that's scary. I can't do it by myself.
What happens if I get lost or I can't ever get back?
Or what happens if the plane doesn't go? Or what happens if my luggage gets stolen?
(11:29):
Or what if you have the most amazing trip in the world?
What if you discover something about yourself that you never knew when you were on that trip?
What if you make a new friend, a new acquaintance, maybe a new lover?
What if you find a new food that
you absolutely adore? What if it inspires you to learn a new language?
(11:55):
What if it inspires you to just completely move and become a digital nomad?
What if you have the most amazing experience and it inspires you to travel more
because you just love the freedom?
It sounds so much more empowering, doesn't it?
So much more empowering. So for all of you that are out there listening,
(12:17):
that are thinking about starting a new business,
changing things up in your life, using videos, hint, hint, make it happen,
doing public speaking, growing your business,
changing your career, starting a new relationship.
Doing a new course, getting qualified in a new area.
(12:40):
What is possible? Play around with it.
Because as Michael Jordan said, it's better to shoot and miss than to let time
run out and wonder what if.
So right now, if you've got those things that you want to do,
those dreams, those desires,
(13:02):
those things that you know will move the needle in your life and your business,
your career, your education, your health.
And that voice starts piping up when you dare to dream and dare to have the
courage to think about what is next.
When that voice of doubt and fear starts kicking off, change the narrative because
(13:26):
it's your life and you're the writer of that narrative.
So switch it up and go, oh, well, what if it turns out to be amazing?
What is possible then? So on that note, we're keeping this episode short and sweet.
So before we ride off into the sunset, let me give you today's espresso shot of confidence.
(13:48):
It's better to find out what actually happens when you take an action instead
of wasting your time thinking about all the things that could go bad.
Find out what happens explore them sometimes there may be failures but i don't believe in failures,
(14:12):
because there are no failures there's only feedback you learn something new
every time you take an action you learn what you like what you don't like you
make a mistake something something doesn't work out the way that you planned it to do,
ask yourself, okay, what if I do it differently next time? What have I learned?
(14:33):
And what if I apply that learning to get a different result in the future?
What is possible then?
Dare to believe. Dare to have the courage to ask those questions. And then take action.
Because like I said earlier on, you are the narrator you get to write your own
(14:57):
story what are you going to write?
So thank you very much as always for listening or watching in and don't forget
to subscribe wherever you are listening or watching this to get notifications
of when the next episode drops,
so as you jump onto your flying carpets set sail into the world of infinite possibilities,
(15:20):
always remember this Don't forget.
Music.
Music.
(00:15):
Greetings and salutations wherever you are in the universe and
welcome to the latest episode of an expresso shot
of confidence the podcast that explores confidence from all angles and empowers
you to be awesome loudly and proudly it's time to grab yourself a drink and
settle in for the next however long this episode is i'm your host the master
(00:37):
of awesomeness Ashley Griffiths,
and today we'll be looking at the future and the past and a question that often
dominates our thoughts when we're considering an action.
That question starts with what if.
Life is dominated by them. We
(00:59):
often think about all the things that could
go wrong if we dare to step
out of our comfort zone and getting lost
in those thoughts often leads us not
taking any actions because we're
too afraid we're too scared about all
(01:19):
the things that could happen if we
take an action and to quote
what Roald Dahl from Charlie and the Chocolate factory
you'll never get anywhere if you go about
what if-ing like that because let's
take an example say videos i work with clients to get confident on video and
(01:42):
many of them don't do it initially because they're worried about what might
happen they ask themselves what if somebody trolls me?
What if somebody calls me out? What if somebody says something negative about
my voice or my appearance?
What if I get banned from LinkedIn? What if it takes me 900 hours to record a video?
(02:08):
What if I can't do it? What if somebody calls me stupid?
What if the world explodes if I press the the record button.
That's a lot of negativity. That's a lot of fear right there, right? A lot of it.
And all of that fear can stop you from taking action.
It can stop you from finding joy.
(02:32):
It just literally sucks the joy out of the room because you're too afraid of
the consequences of an action.
And therefore, you don't take the action. you
don't do that action because it's just
too loaded it makes you feel too vulnerable
it's too risky to step outside
(02:54):
of your comfort zone and throw out a few shapes and this shows up in all areas
of life take the example if you're going to change jobs or you're thinking of
changing jobs or starting a business right now you're in a job that you don't
particularly like but with the cost of of living crisis, you're thinking, well,
better safe than sorry.
(03:16):
And then you see a job advert and you go, wow, that looks good.
Well, I could do that. That's exactly my dream job. I've wanted a job like that forever.
I'm going to apply, but, and you stop yourself and the narrative starts.
Well, what if I don't get the job? What if they don't think I'm experienced enough?
(03:40):
What if I get invited to an interview and I
mess it up what if I quit my job
and I don't get another job what if
they laugh at me in the interview what if
I'm stuck in this job that I hate for the rest of my life and again the fear
sets in and a lot of the time what happens then is you just stay stuck you stay
(04:04):
in that place or you find an excuse or another activity to do that feels more comfortable.
There's a reason so many of us spend so long scrolling online looking at cat
memes, watching Love Island, I'm not judging you by the way,
and whatever else it is that we do,
to fill in the gap of time where we could be actually making a positive change in our world.
(04:32):
But we don't do that positive change because the what-ifs just make the whole
situation feel so goddamn loaded.
But let's change that right now.
Because ultimately, when you don't make that change, when you stay stuck where
you are, when you let fear dictate the narrative, you are limiting your options moving forward.
(04:55):
You are keeping yourself from the things you truly want. Be that dream holiday,
that relationship, the job, the successful business you've always wanted.
All of these things are totally possible
for you. And to make those things happen, you need to get curious.
(05:15):
And the way that you can get curious is actually by using the what if questions.
And in a minute, I'll show you how. because it's a really, really creative,
fun, engaging way to actually say, okay, what is possible here?
(05:36):
I'm just going to share a quote with you before I do go into that by Angelina
Jolie because I think it acts as a really nice transition.
So you'd think, what if I make a mistake today? I'll regret it.
I don't believe in regret. I feel everything leads us to where we are and we
have to just jump forward.
Meanwhile, commit and see what happens.
(05:59):
So let's explore that. Let's explore what is possible right now by taking that
what if, looking forwards, looking now, seeing what is possible,
what exciting things could happen.
So let me just share you a story with that. I used to never do public speaking
(06:22):
because I was terrified that I would face plant myself when I got on stage.
I hated the idea of it. It was scary.
Or that people would laugh at me when I got on stage.
That I'd go beetroot red. I'd look down and realize I'd not put my trousers
on and I was wearing some really embarrassing underwear.
(06:45):
Or maybe no underwear at all. and it's a
cold day and it stopped
me because i was thinking well what if that happened now let's
think about this realistically how many shows have
you been to when somebody's actually rocked up and forgotten
to put their trousers or their dress on not many
i'm guessing and if you're thinking well yeah i've been
(07:07):
to some of those was it by design it's not
going going to happen right you know we tell ourselves these crazy
stories about what we think
might happen you know like the world
will explode if i post a goddamn video you
know i i can't do public speaking on the off chance i trip
(07:28):
over wow it's extremely
possible geez bruce springsteen did it on stage the
other week and what did he do he got back
up picked up his guitar wave to the crowd i'm all
right and the show must go on yeah he
was probably embarrassed he was probably a little shook up about it
but you would have never guessed because he cracked on
(07:50):
he was the consummate professional and i
know for a fact if i was to face plant myself or to slip or trip i would try
if i hadn't face planted myself to turn it into a little dance and i would make
a joke about it i know that now because i asked myself the question well what
if you do face plant yourself What then?
(08:12):
And I remember when I first practiced this activity,
there's this moment when you take the narrative and twist it around,
where your subconscious or your ego or whatever it is that's driving these messages
in your head, it stops. It's like, what?
(08:33):
And it's got nothing to say. because ultimately
it's spinning this situation of
complete nonsense out of control in
your head and putting massive control over you
but when you spin it round there's no
power in that voice anymore zero it's gone it doesn't know what to say with
(08:55):
it and it will try it will try to get control again so take the example okay
so what if i face plant myself what then well i I might do a little dance.
Yeah, but people will laugh.
Okay. And what if people laugh?
Well, maybe because they actually think the little dance is funny or they're
trying to make you feel less self-aware.
(09:17):
Okay. So what if they make it funny? Well, then I've broken the ice and immediately
the crowd are a lot more at ease.
You see, you know, there's nowhere for that negative voice to go in the end.
It runs out of steam. and I always
say the same when it comes to videos people say
well what if people judge me what happens
(09:39):
if I press the record button it turns out to be an ejector
seat and I fly through the wind I'm like well what
if you did what would
you do if you were flying you'd be like wouldn't that be be
amazing because we we
waste so much time on thinking about
(09:59):
the what-ifs could happen and we definitely waste a lot of time on looking back
at all our mistakes and our regrets and and all of that and what if i had done
that well you didn't so what if that situation arose again what would would you change?
What could you change? What could you do differently this time to get a better result?
(10:23):
How would you act more differently in that situation so you don't upset that
person or you don't lose a relationship because something really small escalated?
What if you did that? What is possible there?
So my question to you, my invitation to you is, what if you did post that that video.
(10:48):
What doors does that open? Who might see it?
How might you be more confident by doing that?
What could you get in your business and your life by learning that skill and
growing in that confidence and increasing your network? What is possible?
(11:08):
Or take this example. Say you've always wanted to go traveling,
but you've always held yourself back because, well, that's scary. I can't do it by myself.
What happens if I get lost or I can't ever get back?
Or what happens if the plane doesn't go? Or what happens if my luggage gets stolen?
(11:29):
Or what if you have the most amazing trip in the world?
What if you discover something about yourself that you never knew when you were on that trip?
What if you make a new friend, a new acquaintance, maybe a new lover?
What if you find a new food that
you absolutely adore? What if it inspires you to learn a new language?
(11:55):
What if it inspires you to just completely move and become a digital nomad?
What if you have the most amazing experience and it inspires you to travel more
because you just love the freedom?
It sounds so much more empowering, doesn't it?
So much more empowering. So for all of you that are out there listening,
(12:17):
that are thinking about starting a new business,
changing things up in your life, using videos, hint, hint, make it happen,
doing public speaking, growing your business,
changing your career, starting a new relationship.
Doing a new course, getting qualified in a new area.
(12:40):
What is possible? Play around with it.
Because as Michael Jordan said, it's better to shoot and miss than to let time
run out and wonder what if.
So right now, if you've got those things that you want to do,
those dreams, those desires,
(13:02):
those things that you know will move the needle in your life and your business,
your career, your education, your health.
And that voice starts piping up when you dare to dream and dare to have the
courage to think about what is next.
When that voice of doubt and fear starts kicking off, change the narrative because
(13:26):
it's your life and you're the writer of that narrative.
So switch it up and go, oh, well, what if it turns out to be amazing?
What is possible then? So on that note, we're keeping this episode short and sweet.
So before we ride off into the sunset, let me give you today's espresso shot of confidence.
(13:48):
It's better to find out what actually happens when you take an action instead
of wasting your time thinking about all the things that could go bad.
Find out what happens explore them sometimes there may be failures but i don't believe in failures,
(14:12):
because there are no failures there's only feedback you learn something new
every time you take an action you learn what you like what you don't like you
make a mistake something something doesn't work out the way that you planned it to do,
ask yourself, okay, what if I do it differently next time? What have I learned?
(14:33):
And what if I apply that learning to get a different result in the future?
What is possible then?
Dare to believe. Dare to have the courage to ask those questions. And then take action.
Because like I said earlier on, you are the narrator you get to write your own
(14:57):
story what are you going to write?
So thank you very much as always for listening or watching in and don't forget
to subscribe wherever you are listening or watching this to get notifications
of when the next episode drops,
so as you jump onto your flying carpets set sail into the world of infinite possibilities,
(15:20):
always remember this Don't forget.
Music.
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