May 24, 2022 • 29 mins
“Nobody can tell you the right time, the right decision. You’ll know that; as you’re growing your confidence, your courage and your clarity about your life, you’ll feel prompted to make changes.”
In this week’s episode we’ll talk about the importance of discerning the voices (people, books, media, etc...) we allow to speak into us when we’re going through trials. What we consume is who we become.
Let’s talk about what it means to ‘Be Her Now’ BEFORE you feel ready, and actionable steps to help you get started or move forward on your growth journey.
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Facebook: @shellyjsimonsen
Linktree: @shellysimonsenfitness
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
during that time of growth,
(00:02):
I was actually called a hypocrite a fraud for who I was showing up as,
because it was different from what you would have seen inside my home,
but that was me and that was when I was alive and that was the Goofy,
silly,
vibrant,
energetic Shelly that I have always been,
(00:26):
but that I had forgotten about Hello and welcome.
My name is Shelley Simonson.
I'm a mom,
a four and a fitness and wellness coach with over two decades in the industry.
I'm a trauma and cancer survivor,
living my life now on a mission to help you reclaim your voice,
(00:49):
stand in your power and build the confidence to not simply survive this life but to thrive and create the life,
you know,
is waiting for you.
It's time to get out of your own way and be her now.
OMG OMG Holy Guacamole,
(01:10):
we are here at episode two and I'm just beside myself.
It's surreal to say that because that means that there was an episode one and that means that I got over my fear and I came back to do another episode and I am looking forward to the day that I can say welcome to episode 500 and I know that day will come in due time.
(01:36):
I don't want to get ahead of myself,
but I just want to say thank you for coming back and I'm thrilled to be here and to continue kind of where we left off from episode one.
So if you haven't listened to last week's episode,
I'm going to encourage you to do that,
it's short and sweet.
About 13 minutes kind of sets the foundation for where we're going to go with this whole thing with the title of this podcast being be her now.
(02:03):
I took you back to be her then.
So my personal story and kind of,
the vantage point from where I was stuck in my life six years ago,
as my life was getting ready to take a drastic turn.
My husband had the idea to set the stage with myself of six years ago,
(02:27):
writing a d m to myself of today.
And so that's what I did and uh we're going to continue that today.
I've already had questions with like,
okay,
but what does that mean?
Like how are you going to help us get to her now?
So here we go.
So I thought what I would do is write a letter from myself of today to that woman.
(02:54):
So you might be that woman that you heard me speak of last week,
you might be there in your life right now,
or maybe you were there and you're still climbing out of that and still working on just growing every day.
And so in today's episode we're gonna we're gonna dig a little bit more into that as we kind of continue to set the foundation and start to move forward with some meat and potatoes in these episodes and some practical tangible takeaways that I hope to give you as I build credibility with you as a woman who has been at the bottom of the pit and felt those feelings and clueless and hopeless about how I was going to climb up out of that.
(03:49):
Um that's where I want to connect with you so that you know that I'm not just spouting off and I can empathize with you with whatever stage that you're in,
nobody wants to be there,
we're not going to commiserate,
we're not going to stay there,
nobody wants to stay stuck.
And that is why I believe that you're here listening to the B her Now podcast.
(04:13):
So I'm gonna I'm gonna start off with reading you guys the reply that I wrote to myself maybe to you where you are in your life right now.
Hi Shelly,
thank you so much for your vulnerability and transparency in your message.
(04:34):
I know how acknowledging those things is hard,
let alone sharing it with a total stranger.
I can feel your pain and your heartache.
I remember it so very well,
reading your DM brought me straight back to where I was in my life,
in that home,
in my body faced with the agonizing decision of what to do.
(04:59):
If I could give you any piece of advice,
it would be this God is with you.
He knows the path ahead of you.
In fact he's already gone ahead of you to prepare your way.
Don't let the fear of the unknown cloud what is right in front of you right now I know how scary it is to not have all the answers.
(05:24):
Heck to even have some of the answers would be good.
Just know in your heart what your next move is.
Trust yourself,
You don't have to think about the whole staircase,
just the next right step,
you are going to be okay,
you're going to be better than okay.
(05:45):
You were not meant to simply survive this life,
but to thrive that last line you guys,
we all know,
I believe that we all have uh for some of you,
(06:06):
it may be this burning sensation inside for more.
For others,
it might be just this kind of dull nudging.
Like you know that there's more out there,
you know that your made for more in this life,
you know that you want more and when I got to that point of where that was just unbearable because I didn't want to just survive another day,
(06:34):
I wanted to thrive and I knew I had so much to bring this world and I was doing a disservice to myself,
my kids and all the other women that were in that same situation,
I knew that I could be of service and it felt like I was wasting my life staying stuck staying stuck in my excuses,
(07:05):
my rationale that uh huh what if I tried this,
maybe I didn't do enough this,
maybe we could do this.
What if I did that?
Oh,
I know that I know that this will work and it wasn't and it hadn't and I knew that I could only control me.
(07:32):
I couldn't wait around for anybody else to change before I could begin to pursue my life.
My life was on hold and I was tired of it.
I was done.
And a very good friend of mine,
a mentor of mine who knew me and knew my situation and knew my struggles.
(07:56):
She simply said to Me one day,
Shelly,
I had I had amazing friends who knew my life and knew my story and I knew what I was capable of and knew that I was um hiding myself if you will.
She said,
Shellie,
you have what are you waiting for?
What are things changing?
(08:17):
No.
What are you waiting for?
You just have to I was scared.
I said I'm scared.
There's a lot at stake here.
It's it's very easy to say just make a decision.
She said,
you just have to rip the band aid off.
And I don't I can't even tell you to this day why that hit a nerve.
(08:41):
But that was it coming from her?
You just need to rip the Band aid off that.
In my mind.
It clicked.
It's like,
you know when you pull that band aid off and it's maybe it's on your leg or on your arm where you've got a lot of hair on your arm and we try to avoid the pain and we go super slow and we just pull it a little bit at a time and it really,
(09:08):
it's more agonizing,
isn't it?
To take five minutes to do it than it is to rip it off and suffer that searing pain for a short time and move on.
That's probably,
I don't know if that's a good analogy for you or not,
but for me it worked.
It was this realization that I knew I was meant for more and I knew that I was muting my voice and my,
(09:34):
my potential impact to help other women.
Now I can,
I can completely understand how you might be saying because I did too.
That what's easy for you to say,
it's easy for you to say gods,
their gods always been there,
God's going to be there.
And uh especially if it's,
(09:59):
if you've got voices in your life who have never been in this situation that you're in,
first of all those might not be the best people to listen to.
Um even well intentioned people,
I heard it from the uh this too shall pass.
Um,
God will never give you more than you can handle.
(10:20):
Um it's all gonna be okay and all of that just fell on deaf ears because it meant nothing to me,
People who I loved,
very smart people in my life,
people who are very well meaning and loved me,
but finding women who were going through what I was going through was instrumental in my life during that time.
(10:44):
And so I hope that over time that I can build trust with you and build credibility to to know that I was there with you,
I can empathize with all of those feelings that can even be so raw for me today years removed from the situation,
(11:05):
They can be so raw for me,
where somebody might say something and I just can look at somebody and go,
you don't have a clue,
you have no idea.
And I understand that you're my friend and that you love me and I love you,
but I hope that um as we grow together here,
(11:31):
as we walk along this journey together,
that it's not just another voice in your ear and another pep talk,
that's not what I'm gonna do,
that's not not who I want to be,
I want to hold your hand and sit with you and listen.
And this podcast is a way that I feel that we can connect on that level and that as you're growing your confidence and your courage and your clarity about your life,
(12:01):
that you are feeling prompted to make changes.
Nobody can tell you the right time,
the right decision.
You will know that that's between you and God,
that's between you and God,
and that was really kind of shutting out so much of the noise going on in my life and clinging to God during that time.
(12:29):
Because if you know my story,
or if you recall,
I think I shared a little bit in the first podcast about not only was I going through a divorce,
but in the middle of that,
I was diagnosed with cancer.
In fact,
three days from today is my cancer diagnosis anniversary.
And it's always just crazy just to think about holy cow,
(12:51):
how much can one person take?
How much more could I have endured?
And when you're losing your family,
your home,
your health,
your um,
you know,
you're the future that you had envisioned for your life since you were a little girl,
(13:14):
your happily ever after is coming to a screeching halt for me,
the only place to go was God.
There was no earthly person that that could comfort me in that way.
So,
(13:36):
I want to,
I want to talk a little bit about the title of this podcast.
It struck me when I,
I remember hearing a mentor of mine,
I talk a lot about my mentors because I would not be who I am today,
you guys,
where I was that 2016 you're or 2016 self.
(13:57):
that woman is would be unrecognizable to me today.
I would be unrecognizable to her.
And that is only through surrounding myself with people who have gone before me um,
experiences that I would place myself into um tables that I wanted a seat at that I earned a seat at to be surrounded by these people,
(14:26):
these these um women that I just admired and respected so much.
And I remember one of them one time saying um talking about leadership and about growth and about how she knew that she wasn't going to suddenly wake up one morning and be confident and feeling like she had arrived.
(14:52):
She just had to decide that she was going to start showing up as that woman,
as that leader that she wanted to be as that person.
Just deciding to show up,
standing taller shoulders back with confidence,
believing in her worth and showing up as such.
(15:14):
And so at that point in my life,
when I when I knew that I needed a path out of my situation,
I dove headfirst into my work and as a health and fitness coach.
That meant that I got to love on other women and serve other women and be invested in their lives.
(15:39):
And it allowed me to avoid,
to a certain extent my own because that it was not pretty,
it wasn't happy,
it wasn't where I wanted to be.
So I had to start showing up as this leader,
as this um cheerleader if you will for other women and as a leader of my team,
(16:03):
and sometimes that was like I felt so foreign to me,
it was like taking on this different persona that I I like the woman that you would have seen on social media at the time was a stark contrast to the woman I was in my home.
But the thing about that is is that that woman that you saw on the outside,
(16:27):
that was really me,
that was who I was born to be and that was who I had been my entire life minus that dark period of my life where I had actually let myself slowly fade away into the shadows and that woman that you would have seen inside my home,
it was not me.
(16:49):
And so it was the me I had allowed myself to become,
it was the me who quit speaking up and using my voice and advocating for my kids and myself and during that time of growth,
I was actually called a hypocrite,
(17:09):
a fraud for who I was showing up as because it was different from what you would have seen inside my home,
but that was me and that was when I was alive and that was the goofy,
silly,
vibrant,
energetic Shelly that I have always been but that I had forgotten about and pouring myself into my work was my way is my outlet.
(17:39):
It was it was my way of saying you still got it like you know who you are,
you're meant for this,
you have what these women need And and I was showing up for myself in a different way in my career,
I was showing up for my clients and uh huh I don't know if you you know,
(18:00):
some people don't like the term fake it till you make it,
but when you are living in such a stark contrast between In one Life and the other between your home and your career,
it can almost feel like it feels inconsistent.
And uh I just heard this on a podcast yesterday,
(18:23):
the guy was like,
so isn't that hypocritical to show up?
Maybe it was mel Robbins,
I love her.
Um isn't it hypocritical to show up?
Um acting as if and like showing up as this different person that you don't really feel like.
And she goes,
let me ask you this,
do you feel like getting out of bed at 5 30 every morning when your alarm goes off?
(18:45):
Are you a hypocrite for actually getting up when you don't feel like it?
And I was like,
yes,
yes,
yes.
That to me was like,
yeah,
we don't need anybody's permission to show up as our authentic self And sometimes showing up the way that you know that you need to show up in order to become the person that you know is going to be the one that leads you out of a situation that you don't want to be in.
(19:14):
That is called being her Now,
that is called waking up and deciding that you are worthy of being today,
That person,
you don't have to wait till five years down the road until you because you're not going to become her All of a sudden you're not going to wake up as her one morning.
It's a process.
(19:34):
And where does that process start?
Why can't it start when your feet hit the ground in the morning and you make that decision that today is going to be different.
Today's the day that I am,
I am going to not pick up my phone and start scrolling,
but instead I'm going to get out of bed and I'm gonna spend some quiet time with God and I'm going to journal.
(19:56):
I'm going to meditate.
I'm going to read some personal growth and I'm going to spend half an hour or if you're me an hour,
hour and a half,
I cherish my sacred morning quiet time more than any part of my day.
Um,
but taking what you can and just taking those small steps every single day to do something different in your life that over time,
(20:18):
day after day is going to contribute to you becoming the woman of your dreams,
the woman that you envision for your future.
The book that changed it all for me when I initially started my personal growth journey um in about 20 13,
(20:43):
probably.
I don't remember the year that I read it,
but it was called the compound effect by Darren hardy and the concept of it is how small,
daily,
seemingly insignificant actions over time compound and over time you produce results that you could never imagine.
(21:09):
And it's just,
it's um fascinating to think about that because the smallest of habits compounded over time,
they're easy not to do.
Like I talked to my kids about brushing their teeth,
you know,
it's two minutes in the morning and two minutes at night,
it's four minutes out of a 24 hour period.
(21:30):
And if you don't do it,
You probably aren't going to notice much difference within seven days or,
so maybe 14 days.
maybe even in a month.
You know,
not a big difference.
But if you're not brushing your teeth for six months a year,
you know,
you're going to get cavities,
you're going to get gum disease,
You're not taking care of your mouth.
(21:51):
And it's four minutes a day.
And so those small things that when you are working on becoming um just when you're working on self growth,
we need to keep in mind that it's not going to be overnight.
And it's those small daily actions and that are going to start with our thoughts.
(22:15):
Honestly,
everything is going to start with our thoughts.
So what are you putting in?
You're going to get out what you put in?
And so that for me,
like my personal growth journey started with reading personal development books.
And I always thought that those were for losers.
(22:35):
Those were for people who had issues,
those were for people that needed to see a therapist and which I love,
I mean like having a therapist,
like everybody needs a therapist.
I love my therapist,
I love my sessions.
Um but I took it as an insult that people would suggest these books to me.
(22:55):
I'm like,
I'm fine.
I'm good.
Like you get on with your,
Your personal growth stuff.
I'm going to read my 50 shades of gray over here.
I'm good.
And um,
but that is what has changed my life.
I was,
I was,
you know,
if you looked through my kindle library at the time,
(23:15):
it was twilight,
it was,
you know,
romance novels and now,
I mean I'm just so proud of my library because it represents who I have become.
And so when we,
when we set out,
two grow and mature and evolve,
we need to be much more aware of our surroundings.
(23:40):
We need to be much more guarded in the things that we allow in through our eyeballs through our ears,
through our mouths,
right?
We've got to take care of ourselves on all fronts and I don't know about you,
You might have groups of friends where you get up from the table and you go,
(24:01):
man,
that was so amazing.
You get home and you're like,
I want to spend more time with them.
I feel so uplifted and encouraged.
I feel just,
I feel better.
Like I just feel good.
I want to like I'm dreaming big and you know,
you're talking about books,
you're reading podcasts,
you're listening to movies you saw maybe or documentaries you're watching um you're talking about your dreams,
(24:27):
you're talking about big dreams and goals for your life and visions and ideas and then there might be other people that you get up from the table and you wonder if they're talking about you because that's all you did when you sat with them was gossip about other people and it feels icky and you get home and you're like,
(24:49):
oh,
that didn't feel so good,
you know,
so guarding the things that we're allowing in into all aspects of our life is going to be important.
We need to protect our mindset and we need to protect our energy and we need to make a vow to ourselves that we are,
(25:11):
we are going to move in the direction of growth because if we're not growing,
we're dying and truly if we're not growing,
you know,
we might think that we're we're stagnant,
but that's not the case.
If you're not growing,
you're actually moving backwards.
Think of it like an escalator.
(25:32):
Like if you're trying to walk up an escalator that's on the way down and you've got a nice little clip going so you're making some progress and you're getting ahead of it and you might,
you know,
you're,
you're on your way up,
but it's it's work right because it's still moving down while you're stepping up.
So you got to move a little bit more quickly as soon as you stop and you stand still.
(25:53):
You're being pulled back down.
So in life if we're not actually moving forward intentionally,
we're not just staying stuck.
But we are regressing and that's not how we become the woman of our dreams.
We take it upon ourselves to be intentional about everything that we're allowing into our day,
(26:20):
Everything that we're reading,
we are cutting out the distractions that are taking our precious time away and we are filling them with meaningful things that are beautiful and soul filling and enriching in our lives.
(26:41):
Because in order to to reach your potential of who you want to be,
it takes daily consistent actions.
It's not going to happen overnight.
You won't wake up one morning and feel like you've like you've arrived,
It's gotta start somewhere.
So why not here?
(27:03):
Why not right now?
So I'm going to leave you with that and I appreciate you so much for being here and for listening and for reviewing.
I'm already just kind of blown away with how,
how far we've come just in one episode and the reviews that I've gotten and I'll tell you that means so much more to me than,
(27:25):
you know,
I know that they measure podcasts by downloads subscriptions,
all that stuff,
so that's important.
So keep doing that.
But when you send me a heartfelt message or leave a review,
man.
Oh,
that touches my heart so much just to know that you're feeling that this is valuable to you and helpful because that's my goal here is not to just give you a bunch of fluff and feel good stuff.
(27:51):
And uh I really want to help you feel like I got something out of that.
I feel inspired to move,
to take action to,
to take baby steps towards becoming my best self and it's a process.
So give yourself some grace but start,
promise me that you'll decide on something new that you'll start to implement or something that you're going to cut back on in order to allow more time in your life for joy and for growth.
(28:23):
All right,
thanks so much for listening.
I love you guys.
Thank you so much for listening today.
If you're loving what you're hearing and you know somebody who could benefit from this episode,
please spread the love and share this with them.
And I would be so grateful if you could take a moment to write a quick review wherever you're listening,
your feedback really matters to me.
(28:45):
And don't forget to tag me on social media at Shelly Simonson Fitness on instagram and share your favorite takeaway.
Learn more about how you can get in touch with me in the show notes.
See you next time.
during that time of growth,
(00:02):
I was actually called a hypocrite a fraud for who I was showing up as,
because it was different from what you would have seen inside my home,
but that was me and that was when I was alive and that was the Goofy,
silly,
vibrant,
energetic Shelly that I have always been,
(00:26):
but that I had forgotten about Hello and welcome.
My name is Shelley Simonson.
I'm a mom,
a four and a fitness and wellness coach with over two decades in the industry.
I'm a trauma and cancer survivor,
living my life now on a mission to help you reclaim your voice,
(00:49):
stand in your power and build the confidence to not simply survive this life but to thrive and create the life,
you know,
is waiting for you.
It's time to get out of your own way and be her now.
OMG OMG Holy Guacamole,
(01:10):
we are here at episode two and I'm just beside myself.
It's surreal to say that because that means that there was an episode one and that means that I got over my fear and I came back to do another episode and I am looking forward to the day that I can say welcome to episode 500 and I know that day will come in due time.
(01:36):
I don't want to get ahead of myself,
but I just want to say thank you for coming back and I'm thrilled to be here and to continue kind of where we left off from episode one.
So if you haven't listened to last week's episode,
I'm going to encourage you to do that,
it's short and sweet.
About 13 minutes kind of sets the foundation for where we're going to go with this whole thing with the title of this podcast being be her now.
(02:03):
I took you back to be her then.
So my personal story and kind of,
the vantage point from where I was stuck in my life six years ago,
as my life was getting ready to take a drastic turn.
My husband had the idea to set the stage with myself of six years ago,
(02:27):
writing a d m to myself of today.
And so that's what I did and uh we're going to continue that today.
I've already had questions with like,
okay,
but what does that mean?
Like how are you going to help us get to her now?
So here we go.
So I thought what I would do is write a letter from myself of today to that woman.
(02:54):
So you might be that woman that you heard me speak of last week,
you might be there in your life right now,
or maybe you were there and you're still climbing out of that and still working on just growing every day.
And so in today's episode we're gonna we're gonna dig a little bit more into that as we kind of continue to set the foundation and start to move forward with some meat and potatoes in these episodes and some practical tangible takeaways that I hope to give you as I build credibility with you as a woman who has been at the bottom of the pit and felt those feelings and clueless and hopeless about how I was going to climb up out of that.
(03:49):
Um that's where I want to connect with you so that you know that I'm not just spouting off and I can empathize with you with whatever stage that you're in,
nobody wants to be there,
we're not going to commiserate,
we're not going to stay there,
nobody wants to stay stuck.
And that is why I believe that you're here listening to the B her Now podcast.
(04:13):
So I'm gonna I'm gonna start off with reading you guys the reply that I wrote to myself maybe to you where you are in your life right now.
Hi Shelly,
thank you so much for your vulnerability and transparency in your message.
(04:34):
I know how acknowledging those things is hard,
let alone sharing it with a total stranger.
I can feel your pain and your heartache.
I remember it so very well,
reading your DM brought me straight back to where I was in my life,
in that home,
in my body faced with the agonizing decision of what to do.
(04:59):
If I could give you any piece of advice,
it would be this God is with you.
He knows the path ahead of you.
In fact he's already gone ahead of you to prepare your way.
Don't let the fear of the unknown cloud what is right in front of you right now I know how scary it is to not have all the answers.
(05:24):
Heck to even have some of the answers would be good.
Just know in your heart what your next move is.
Trust yourself,
You don't have to think about the whole staircase,
just the next right step,
you are going to be okay,
you're going to be better than okay.
(05:45):
You were not meant to simply survive this life,
but to thrive that last line you guys,
we all know,
I believe that we all have uh for some of you,
(06:06):
it may be this burning sensation inside for more.
For others,
it might be just this kind of dull nudging.
Like you know that there's more out there,
you know that your made for more in this life,
you know that you want more and when I got to that point of where that was just unbearable because I didn't want to just survive another day,
(06:34):
I wanted to thrive and I knew I had so much to bring this world and I was doing a disservice to myself,
my kids and all the other women that were in that same situation,
I knew that I could be of service and it felt like I was wasting my life staying stuck staying stuck in my excuses,
(07:05):
my rationale that uh huh what if I tried this,
maybe I didn't do enough this,
maybe we could do this.
What if I did that?
Oh,
I know that I know that this will work and it wasn't and it hadn't and I knew that I could only control me.
(07:32):
I couldn't wait around for anybody else to change before I could begin to pursue my life.
My life was on hold and I was tired of it.
I was done.
And a very good friend of mine,
a mentor of mine who knew me and knew my situation and knew my struggles.
(07:56):
She simply said to Me one day,
Shelly,
I had I had amazing friends who knew my life and knew my story and I knew what I was capable of and knew that I was um hiding myself if you will.
She said,
Shellie,
you have what are you waiting for?
What are things changing?
(08:17):
No.
What are you waiting for?
You just have to I was scared.
I said I'm scared.
There's a lot at stake here.
It's it's very easy to say just make a decision.
She said,
you just have to rip the band aid off.
And I don't I can't even tell you to this day why that hit a nerve.
(08:41):
But that was it coming from her?
You just need to rip the Band aid off that.
In my mind.
It clicked.
It's like,
you know when you pull that band aid off and it's maybe it's on your leg or on your arm where you've got a lot of hair on your arm and we try to avoid the pain and we go super slow and we just pull it a little bit at a time and it really,
(09:08):
it's more agonizing,
isn't it?
To take five minutes to do it than it is to rip it off and suffer that searing pain for a short time and move on.
That's probably,
I don't know if that's a good analogy for you or not,
but for me it worked.
It was this realization that I knew I was meant for more and I knew that I was muting my voice and my,
(09:34):
my potential impact to help other women.
Now I can,
I can completely understand how you might be saying because I did too.
That what's easy for you to say,
it's easy for you to say gods,
their gods always been there,
God's going to be there.
And uh especially if it's,
(09:59):
if you've got voices in your life who have never been in this situation that you're in,
first of all those might not be the best people to listen to.
Um even well intentioned people,
I heard it from the uh this too shall pass.
Um,
God will never give you more than you can handle.
(10:20):
Um it's all gonna be okay and all of that just fell on deaf ears because it meant nothing to me,
People who I loved,
very smart people in my life,
people who are very well meaning and loved me,
but finding women who were going through what I was going through was instrumental in my life during that time.
(10:44):
And so I hope that over time that I can build trust with you and build credibility to to know that I was there with you,
I can empathize with all of those feelings that can even be so raw for me today years removed from the situation,
(11:05):
They can be so raw for me,
where somebody might say something and I just can look at somebody and go,
you don't have a clue,
you have no idea.
And I understand that you're my friend and that you love me and I love you,
but I hope that um as we grow together here,
(11:31):
as we walk along this journey together,
that it's not just another voice in your ear and another pep talk,
that's not what I'm gonna do,
that's not not who I want to be,
I want to hold your hand and sit with you and listen.
And this podcast is a way that I feel that we can connect on that level and that as you're growing your confidence and your courage and your clarity about your life,
(12:01):
that you are feeling prompted to make changes.
Nobody can tell you the right time,
the right decision.
You will know that that's between you and God,
that's between you and God,
and that was really kind of shutting out so much of the noise going on in my life and clinging to God during that time.
(12:29):
Because if you know my story,
or if you recall,
I think I shared a little bit in the first podcast about not only was I going through a divorce,
but in the middle of that,
I was diagnosed with cancer.
In fact,
three days from today is my cancer diagnosis anniversary.
And it's always just crazy just to think about holy cow,
(12:51):
how much can one person take?
How much more could I have endured?
And when you're losing your family,
your home,
your health,
your um,
you know,
you're the future that you had envisioned for your life since you were a little girl,
(13:14):
your happily ever after is coming to a screeching halt for me,
the only place to go was God.
There was no earthly person that that could comfort me in that way.
So,
(13:36):
I want to,
I want to talk a little bit about the title of this podcast.
It struck me when I,
I remember hearing a mentor of mine,
I talk a lot about my mentors because I would not be who I am today,
you guys,
where I was that 2016 you're or 2016 self.
(13:57):
that woman is would be unrecognizable to me today.
I would be unrecognizable to her.
And that is only through surrounding myself with people who have gone before me um,
experiences that I would place myself into um tables that I wanted a seat at that I earned a seat at to be surrounded by these people,
(14:26):
these these um women that I just admired and respected so much.
And I remember one of them one time saying um talking about leadership and about growth and about how she knew that she wasn't going to suddenly wake up one morning and be confident and feeling like she had arrived.
(14:52):
She just had to decide that she was going to start showing up as that woman,
as that leader that she wanted to be as that person.
Just deciding to show up,
standing taller shoulders back with confidence,
believing in her worth and showing up as such.
(15:14):
And so at that point in my life,
when I when I knew that I needed a path out of my situation,
I dove headfirst into my work and as a health and fitness coach.
That meant that I got to love on other women and serve other women and be invested in their lives.
(15:39):
And it allowed me to avoid,
to a certain extent my own because that it was not pretty,
it wasn't happy,
it wasn't where I wanted to be.
So I had to start showing up as this leader,
as this um cheerleader if you will for other women and as a leader of my team,
(16:03):
and sometimes that was like I felt so foreign to me,
it was like taking on this different persona that I I like the woman that you would have seen on social media at the time was a stark contrast to the woman I was in my home.
But the thing about that is is that that woman that you saw on the outside,
(16:27):
that was really me,
that was who I was born to be and that was who I had been my entire life minus that dark period of my life where I had actually let myself slowly fade away into the shadows and that woman that you would have seen inside my home,
it was not me.
(16:49):
And so it was the me I had allowed myself to become,
it was the me who quit speaking up and using my voice and advocating for my kids and myself and during that time of growth,
I was actually called a hypocrite,
(17:09):
a fraud for who I was showing up as because it was different from what you would have seen inside my home,
but that was me and that was when I was alive and that was the goofy,
silly,
vibrant,
energetic Shelly that I have always been but that I had forgotten about and pouring myself into my work was my way is my outlet.
(17:39):
It was it was my way of saying you still got it like you know who you are,
you're meant for this,
you have what these women need And and I was showing up for myself in a different way in my career,
I was showing up for my clients and uh huh I don't know if you you know,
(18:00):
some people don't like the term fake it till you make it,
but when you are living in such a stark contrast between In one Life and the other between your home and your career,
it can almost feel like it feels inconsistent.
And uh I just heard this on a podcast yesterday,
(18:23):
the guy was like,
so isn't that hypocritical to show up?
Maybe it was mel Robbins,
I love her.
Um isn't it hypocritical to show up?
Um acting as if and like showing up as this different person that you don't really feel like.
And she goes,
let me ask you this,
do you feel like getting out of bed at 5 30 every morning when your alarm goes off?
(18:45):
Are you a hypocrite for actually getting up when you don't feel like it?
And I was like,
yes,
yes,
yes.
That to me was like,
yeah,
we don't need anybody's permission to show up as our authentic self And sometimes showing up the way that you know that you need to show up in order to become the person that you know is going to be the one that leads you out of a situation that you don't want to be in.
(19:14):
That is called being her Now,
that is called waking up and deciding that you are worthy of being today,
That person,
you don't have to wait till five years down the road until you because you're not going to become her All of a sudden you're not going to wake up as her one morning.
It's a process.
(19:34):
And where does that process start?
Why can't it start when your feet hit the ground in the morning and you make that decision that today is going to be different.
Today's the day that I am,
I am going to not pick up my phone and start scrolling,
but instead I'm going to get out of bed and I'm gonna spend some quiet time with God and I'm going to journal.
(19:56):
I'm going to meditate.
I'm going to read some personal growth and I'm going to spend half an hour or if you're me an hour,
hour and a half,
I cherish my sacred morning quiet time more than any part of my day.
Um,
but taking what you can and just taking those small steps every single day to do something different in your life that over time,
(20:18):
day after day is going to contribute to you becoming the woman of your dreams,
the woman that you envision for your future.
The book that changed it all for me when I initially started my personal growth journey um in about 20 13,
(20:43):
probably.
I don't remember the year that I read it,
but it was called the compound effect by Darren hardy and the concept of it is how small,
daily,
seemingly insignificant actions over time compound and over time you produce results that you could never imagine.
(21:09):
And it's just,
it's um fascinating to think about that because the smallest of habits compounded over time,
they're easy not to do.
Like I talked to my kids about brushing their teeth,
you know,
it's two minutes in the morning and two minutes at night,
it's four minutes out of a 24 hour period.
(21:30):
And if you don't do it,
You probably aren't going to notice much difference within seven days or,
so maybe 14 days.
maybe even in a month.
You know,
not a big difference.
But if you're not brushing your teeth for six months a year,
you know,
you're going to get cavities,
you're going to get gum disease,
You're not taking care of your mouth.
(21:51):
And it's four minutes a day.
And so those small things that when you are working on becoming um just when you're working on self growth,
we need to keep in mind that it's not going to be overnight.
And it's those small daily actions and that are going to start with our thoughts.
(22:15):
Honestly,
everything is going to start with our thoughts.
So what are you putting in?
You're going to get out what you put in?
And so that for me,
like my personal growth journey started with reading personal development books.
And I always thought that those were for losers.
(22:35):
Those were for people who had issues,
those were for people that needed to see a therapist and which I love,
I mean like having a therapist,
like everybody needs a therapist.
I love my therapist,
I love my sessions.
Um but I took it as an insult that people would suggest these books to me.
(22:55):
I'm like,
I'm fine.
I'm good.
Like you get on with your,
Your personal growth stuff.
I'm going to read my 50 shades of gray over here.
I'm good.
And um,
but that is what has changed my life.
I was,
I was,
you know,
if you looked through my kindle library at the time,
(23:15):
it was twilight,
it was,
you know,
romance novels and now,
I mean I'm just so proud of my library because it represents who I have become.
And so when we,
when we set out,
two grow and mature and evolve,
we need to be much more aware of our surroundings.
(23:40):
We need to be much more guarded in the things that we allow in through our eyeballs through our ears,
through our mouths,
right?
We've got to take care of ourselves on all fronts and I don't know about you,
You might have groups of friends where you get up from the table and you go,
(24:01):
man,
that was so amazing.
You get home and you're like,
I want to spend more time with them.
I feel so uplifted and encouraged.
I feel just,
I feel better.
Like I just feel good.
I want to like I'm dreaming big and you know,
you're talking about books,
you're reading podcasts,
you're listening to movies you saw maybe or documentaries you're watching um you're talking about your dreams,
(24:27):
you're talking about big dreams and goals for your life and visions and ideas and then there might be other people that you get up from the table and you wonder if they're talking about you because that's all you did when you sat with them was gossip about other people and it feels icky and you get home and you're like,
(24:49):
oh,
that didn't feel so good,
you know,
so guarding the things that we're allowing in into all aspects of our life is going to be important.
We need to protect our mindset and we need to protect our energy and we need to make a vow to ourselves that we are,
(25:11):
we are going to move in the direction of growth because if we're not growing,
we're dying and truly if we're not growing,
you know,
we might think that we're we're stagnant,
but that's not the case.
If you're not growing,
you're actually moving backwards.
Think of it like an escalator.
(25:32):
Like if you're trying to walk up an escalator that's on the way down and you've got a nice little clip going so you're making some progress and you're getting ahead of it and you might,
you know,
you're,
you're on your way up,
but it's it's work right because it's still moving down while you're stepping up.
So you got to move a little bit more quickly as soon as you stop and you stand still.
(25:53):
You're being pulled back down.
So in life if we're not actually moving forward intentionally,
we're not just staying stuck.
But we are regressing and that's not how we become the woman of our dreams.
We take it upon ourselves to be intentional about everything that we're allowing into our day,
(26:20):
Everything that we're reading,
we are cutting out the distractions that are taking our precious time away and we are filling them with meaningful things that are beautiful and soul filling and enriching in our lives.
(26:41):
Because in order to to reach your potential of who you want to be,
it takes daily consistent actions.
It's not going to happen overnight.
You won't wake up one morning and feel like you've like you've arrived,
It's gotta start somewhere.
So why not here?
(27:03):
Why not right now?
So I'm going to leave you with that and I appreciate you so much for being here and for listening and for reviewing.
I'm already just kind of blown away with how,
how far we've come just in one episode and the reviews that I've gotten and I'll tell you that means so much more to me than,
(27:25):
you know,
I know that they measure podcasts by downloads subscriptions,
all that stuff,
so that's important.
So keep doing that.
But when you send me a heartfelt message or leave a review,
man.
Oh,
that touches my heart so much just to know that you're feeling that this is valuable to you and helpful because that's my goal here is not to just give you a bunch of fluff and feel good stuff.
(27:51):
And uh I really want to help you feel like I got something out of that.
I feel inspired to move,
to take action to,
to take baby steps towards becoming my best self and it's a process.
So give yourself some grace but start,
promise me that you'll decide on something new that you'll start to implement or something that you're going to cut back on in order to allow more time in your life for joy and for growth.
(28:23):
All right,
thanks so much for listening.
I love you guys.
Thank you so much for listening today.
If you're loving what you're hearing and you know somebody who could benefit from this episode,
please spread the love and share this with them.
And I would be so grateful if you could take a moment to write a quick review wherever you're listening,
your feedback really matters to me.
(28:45):
And don't forget to tag me on social media at Shelly Simonson Fitness on instagram and share your favorite takeaway.
Learn more about how you can get in touch with me in the show notes.
See you next time.
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