September 23, 2025 • 53 mins
Martelle, Mike, and Randy embark on the journey of Dry January. In this episode, the guys explore the world of near beer, sampling offerings from Brew Dogs Alcohol Free line and Guinness 0%. Join them as they share their impressions of these non-alcoholic options and navigate the challenges and surprises of going alcohol-free for the month.
Amidst the dry adventures, the hosts take a moment to catch up on the past holidays, sharing stories and recaps of their festive season. From the highs to the humorous mishaps, tune in for a lighthearted reflection on the holiday season.
Whether you're joining in on Dry January or just curious about the world of near beer, this episode offers a refreshing and entertaining take on the Buckhorn Podcast experience. Cheers to new adventures and a Dry January kickoff!
YouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/@buckhornpodcast
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Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/2uhj7Vzq8u3SPvB01VqAh7
Show music provided by: This Fires Embrace - Warrior Poets
#whiskey #whisky #bourbon #whiskeygram #cocktails #whiskygram #bourbonwhiskey #whiskylover #whiskeylover #whiskyporn #vodkasucks #drinks #beer #bourbongram #alcohol #whiskeyporn #cheers #bourbonporn #instawhiskey #instawhisky #podcast #liquor #politics #BBQ #comedy #talkshow
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, what are you going to bringit here and then?
We got matches. There was.
I don't need no stinking matchesthere.
Were two unused matches and Ray's like I got matches.
I bought cigars and he was like,you want free matches?
I was like, yeah. Shit matches are fine.
I can take free matches. I like matches I don't.
Need your stinking? Matches all right.
(00:21):
I'll use my torch. Shut up.
Yeah. All right.
Merry Christmas. Happy.
Now. Welcome to the Buckhorn Podcast.
I am Martell with me always thisMike and Randy at the Mac Shack.
What's up guys? If you've ever had a toad on
your wet sprocket, you're in good company.
(00:44):
You like that one? I like that one I thought of.
I thought of that on the way out.
I have no clue why because I waseven listening to music.
I like that one. See.
See. Now you need matches.
Now you need matches. Boy, if only I had a book of
matches here. Oh.
Yeah. So happy New Year, guys.
Like this is our first show backtogether after New Year's, New
Year and it's still within the week.
(01:05):
So we can, we can say Happy New Year, we can.
Yeah, I mean, we could say happy.
Kwanzaa. We could say in July if we
wanted to. Well, we can say whenever we
want, but you know, whatever. So hey, how was everyone's
Christmas and their new year 'cause we didn't really.
We haven't really. I mean, we've been texting but
we haven't really chatted. My Christmas was great.
(01:27):
I gave gifts I was I was excitedabout, passed out, hit my head
on the door frame. Not supposed to do that.
Yeah, so so. Generally frowned upon.
That was that was Christmas Eve.I don't know what happened.
Had lunch at Mom and Dad's were going to open gifts.
I stood up. Everybody's talking.
Next thing I know, Timber and I woke up about halfway down,
(01:51):
tucked my chin and let me see a torch please.
Matches didn't work well in the big.
Yeah, it's about to say it's being spotty so.
But yeah, so I passed out and don't know why.
Awesome. That's great news to hear,
Randy. It's been.
It's been. One week.
One week to me. Damn it.
(02:12):
It's been one week since I was seeing Tweety birds spinning
around. Seeing stars.
Well, stars look beautiful. I'm glad that you're OK.
I mean as. Far as we know.
As much as I'd like you, I guessI'll take it.
I'm glad to hear that you're. Wrecked.
I'm not dead. You're still 6 foot above that
was I had. I had concerns.
(02:33):
Yeah, Beth, Beth, Mom said. My eyes went blank.
Glassy stare. She was, she was like, you were
looking right through me, like. 1000 yard stare.
Yeah, Beth thought I was dead. None of those things are good.
Well, there for a while, I thinkMike and I thought you were dead
because you weren't responding any messages.
And you're usually like it message comes in, it's like it
shows you your little icon that you've read it.
(02:55):
And they were they weren't coming through at all.
And I'm like Randy, I looked at Liz.
I'm like Randy might be dead. And she's like, what?
I said. He hasn't responded to a message
in the past two hours. Yeah, I was there was a over the
holidays I did a lot of try not to die and therefore soul
(03:16):
searching. I'm off Facebook naps there for
Fridays and maybe Mondays which I think it's just good healthy.
Yeah, social media sucks anyway.Yeah, like it's the worst.
It was weird the first week because I'm always sharing memes
and yeah, but I was like, you know, it's not it.
Hurts the first time. Yeah, depends on how you've
(03:38):
prepped, But I was like, you know, it's not that bad.
I don't miss it as much as I thought I would.
Good. But I also replied, I muted like
all my messages, all my Signal chats, I muted everything.
For like 3 days don't mute us. I didn't mute you guys.
I just didn't reply. There's a couple I didn't mute,
(03:59):
but I was just like, I just, I just wasn't in the right mind to
do anything. I didn't drink because I was
like, well, you almost died, so let's just like try and not.
Not die. Eat crap and drink crap for a
while and it's like every time Istood up, that's like, if you're
(04:20):
going to stand up, let me know. So wherever I was, she wanted to
be in the room, which, fair enough.
Yeah, you fell down and bumped your head.
That's smacked hard. But yeah, so I'm still here.
Yeah. And you guys are like, we going
to record New Year's Eve. And I was like, no, you go
without me. I'm I still wasn't right.
Like I don't know if I should bedriving just yet.
(04:42):
Yeah. Probably that's like, well, I'll
drive and then we'll just like sit in the truck.
I was like for 2 1/2 hours. That sounds you and a five year
old. Yeah, that's like that sounds
like a recipe for. Mr. Yeah.
I was like, no, I'm not making you do that.
That's where drive around lovelydowntown Lancaster.
So. All the methods.
Go to the AHA museum or whatever.
Go to the Glass Museum. Go to the mall and this is where
(05:05):
her Old Navy used to be and. It's still there.
It's still there, old. Navy is What about the arcade?
Yeah. There is an arcade.
Yes, there is an arcade that. One in the back corner.
Yep, that's still there. I I used to take Huck there all
the time because you could walk.Like you go in that side door
and there's like 4 people in there.
Yeah, I think it's still there. Nice.
There's it's a lot of now it's just.
I had money right outside that II I had money outside that
(05:29):
arcade. I wonder if anybody found it
when I was doing that TikTok hide money thing.
Yeah, I did one there and nobodyever applied.
They found it. I also did one at the Dum Dum
factory. Did you know that's in Ohio?
The. Fuck the oh like the suckers no.
Yeah, it's a new place. I remember seeing that TikTok.
It's a place called Bryan, Ohio.There's nothing in this town.
Like there's not a hotel in thistown.
There's two motels and I will not stay at those.
(05:53):
Well, but I was there for work and I was like, hey, Dum Dum
factory, let's check it out. It was middle COVID so I
couldn't take the tour, so I hida thing in their lot and then.
Security came out and they're like, what the fuck are you
doing? No, I, I, I hit it, let I always
leave with a note like, hey, I'mon TikTok, here's some money.
Congrats. If you're on TikTok, tag me.
(06:14):
If not, have a nice day. Yeah.
And like 6 months ago, this dudefound it.
He's a he's a security guard walking the lot and I hid under
gravel and stuff and like one oftheir parking lots.
Yeah. And it somehow got kicked up and
he picked it up and he was like,hey.
And I was like, holy crap, that was like 3 years ago.
Like I thought somebody just found it and, you know, it was
gone. Yeah, Nope.
(06:35):
And yeah, he was like, hey, he found it.
I was like, awesome. I wonder if the one in Lancaster
is still there though. I'm about to go down to the mall
after this. You can't.
I'll tell you right where it's at, OK, Since you're on TikTok
and all. Yeah.
So how was yours, Mike? It was get like this is the
busiest time of year for me, so like all of all of my spare time
(06:55):
has been sent just like resting and recuperating.
So that's the same. I mean, it's but I, I, so I, we
spend, I, I think we all the three of us spend about the
entire month of December drinking.
Yeah. Like I did until I passed out,
hit my head and then I was like.So.
(07:16):
Maybe time out? Yeah, like I don't think
drinking calls that, but it can't help it.
Can't help it so I always do a dry January every like.
I've been doing it for years now.
Every January. Every January, every year.
And then Mike? Dry January and March.
I well, you can, I guess. I mean it's like no nut
November. You do that in in April.
(07:38):
I'd rather not dress. It's bad for.
Your prostate. Maybe do all nut November.
Just a jerk off all day. I can't go out yet.
More can you? So my Christmas, same thing it
was I gave gifts that I, I felt that people would would want and
like, like Liz got a six foot fake olive tree.
(08:03):
Fantastic. For her office that is the only
thing she said she wanted out of365 fucking days this year.
But she's like, what do you whatdo you think about getting some
fake plants from my office? Because she'll kill a real
plant. She will murder that fucking
thing. And I'm like, all right, yeah.
You know, we can. We can do.
That does she kill plants or areplants not?
(08:24):
Their plants kill themselves. Yeah, they probably they commit
suicide. They just she.
Just they get cleaned. They just, whatever they're,
they're Epsteined. She doesn't like for whatever
reason, she can't. They just don't sustain it.
They. Just don't stay alive, so.
And she tries it's not that she doesn't like water them, she
doesn't over water they just nothing.
(08:46):
So I got her this 65 foot olive tree.
I've never seen someone so excited for a fake plant like
immediately RIP the when she opened up she's like Oh my God.
And then starts like. Like.
Opening it, opening it and trying to put it together before
anything is ever done. I'm like calm the fuck?
Down here, there's others. This is open, this is it.
She's like, Nope. It's like the kids, you open one
(09:07):
toy and they want to play with the media and I'm like, you got
more. Nope.
Harley fucking played with the box that came in the Amazon box
when it when I took it out-of-the-box, she took the box
up to her room, snuck it up to her room and was playing in the
box. I'm like, what the hell are you
doing? You're 11.
We got an Amazon box now that you know, there's little fake
(09:27):
tea lights with the fake flame. Yeah, Beth pokes holes in the
box, put them upside down. Jet lays in there and like reads
and stuff. Awesome.
Well, that would have saved us some money.
Yeah, no. Kidding.
So. So anyway, we got Dry January
going on we're it's the 7th. I'm far so.
Good. So far so good.
I'm feeling really good. Like I typically I'm like, you
(09:49):
know, I'll just get a drink. But apparently I have the
willpower enough to go. I don't need one.
It'd be nice to have one, but I don't need one.
But because we drink and talk shit on the show, we're going to
do near beer. And I think that's what I'm
going to call the show. I think I'm going to call it
near beer. So you have non you already had
(10:14):
non non alcoholic sitting aroundhere.
So we've got This is Nanny Statefrom BrewDog, which is right up
the road. Yeah, I bought the BrewDog mix
pack. They actually have a robust non
alcoholic selection as a matter of, you know, shameless plug,
you know, in the month of January if you go to BrewDog,
(10:36):
they will give you and buy a nonalcoholic beer.
It's free refills in January. Because it's water.
Yeah. It's carbonated, Flavored.
It's beer flavored water. Yep.
So near beer always got me and Ihad a cousin that for his
bachelor party, he quit drinkingbecause he was going too far.
So he gave up alcohol at that time.
(10:56):
Yeah. And so I got a bunch of like
O'doul's NA and. Drinking it?
Kind of, yeah. Yeah, that's the only thing,
only option I had at the time. What is?
What is the one that starts withan H?
Fuck I can't think of the. I think it's an H.
Henninger Henninger I don't think makes 1.
(11:17):
Maybe it's not an H. There's one that's just non
alcoholic. There's because I, I, we did it
last year. Athletic, Athletic.
Athletic I, I've had athletic. I don't know that I was a huge
fan of their stuff. I mean, it all tastes like.
Well. It smells good, tastes good,
sorta. It's like drinking decaf coffee.
This smells like an icon, no? There's nothing there and it's a
hoppy. It's a hoppy gold, yeah.
(11:37):
Oh yeah, Randy's not going to like it.
No, it's not. It's hoppy and there's no
alcohol. I'm going to hate it.
It's kind of grapefruit. Yeah, little club sodi.
Like all near beer just tastes grape sodi or club soda.
Yeah, like I had a beer. There's a little bit left in it.
I filled up the glass with club soda.
And this is it. This is White Claw.
I'm drinking a White Claw, right?
(11:58):
Now, yeah, it's yellow. It's a yellow white claw.
Yeah, yeah. That's fair enough.
It's not terrible. No, it's.
It's fine like it. What it does is in in like I get
home from a long day at work. This scratch is an itch.
Yeah, yeah, this'll this'll, this'll scratch a big itch for
people. Yeah, and I found out in the
(12:19):
state of Ohio because when I bought it, it, there was no tax
on it. And I was like, that doesn't
seem right. Near beers, wines, liquors,
whatever. Denatured spirits that are .5
and under are considered a food item in Ohio, so they're not
subject to sales tax or liquor tax.
(12:41):
How can we do that with whiskey?You may have to drink like.
Whiskey. That's point point .5% whiskey.
How can we do that with hazmat nobles of whiskey?
Can we get 140 fours with no taxbe?
Awesome. Well, I, I did find out that in
the little OHLQ news, Jim, the guy who runs the the Liquor
Control Agency right now is apparently moving to take over
(13:05):
the weed industry of Ohio. Cool.
So hopefully we get better selection of stuff in here in
Ohio because his selections suck.
I'd never go get an OHLQ pick for anything because they are
usually trash. But so you're, if you, if you
(13:28):
live in Ohio and you want weed, you're going to get it.
And it's going to come in 33 fucking flavors like
baskin-robbins, everything. It's all going to be flavored
bullshit. Whatever that's.
Fine, so. I'm happy getting free, I'm I'm
happy to smoke it legally. Well, what was funny is.
Take a gummy. Really.
(13:49):
When I was leaving, so I was at my youngest basketball game,
came straight here, my father-in-law was there and I
said he's like, oh, you're you're leaving now.
He's like I said we drove separate.
Listen, I drove separate and he's like, ow, he is.
I said I got to do a podcast. He's like, oh, and he looked at
me and he goes are you in vibing?
And he went like this and I wentwhat are you talking about,
(14:10):
Danny? And he's like.
Eating chocolate. He just like he goes, you know,
it's and he and I'm I'm like. I'm going to need you to use
your words here. I'm like, what are you talking?
I said, what do you mean? Like am I?
I said, it's I'm doing a podcast.
He's like, yeah, I said not a podcast.
(14:30):
And he goes, he's like, you knowwhat, drinking whiskey?
I'm like drinking whiskey, I said.
Sip sip pass. I'm like, is there something we
need to you and I need to discuss like in vibing in and he
goes get out of here. He's like, dude, get out of
here. He's so, he's so straight laced.
(14:51):
He saw the new whistle pig. I, I, I messaged him, yeah.
Did you hear? Back.
Nope. Yeah, no, I sent them a message
and I have not gotten a responseyet on if there's any way that
we can get a sample bottle to try for the show.
And I did it from the Buckhorn Instagram account, so I don't
(15:12):
know, fingers crossed. And it doesn't show for business
accounts. It doesn't show when someone's
seen or read it. So I don't know.
Apparently it's time to see whathappens.
It's not time to end the show, though.
Randy just stood up. I actually stood up about no,
I'm counting, I'm actually aboutlike 11 because I just want to
see how many times I can stand up during the show and move the
(15:35):
chair so it. Looks like I love it.
I love it. So a listener down in Texas.
If you check the YouTube comments, Johnny Edwards is.
Hey, Johnny. He's been, he's been commenting
on things, and he said he knows when the show's about the end
because about 15 minutes before it's over, Randy stands up.
And picks a three foot wedgie out of my butt, Correct.
Which I I told them before the show.
(15:56):
I said it's funny because I don't.
I was like, do I? I don't often get wedgies.
So I watched it back. Matches.
And it's where I'm so fat. I stand up and I adjust the
stool behind me, but you can't see the stool.
You just see my arm go behind myback moving.
Shaky. Shaky.
And it's but it's still hilarious.
(16:18):
Oh dude, I lost it. I sent it to everybody.
The screenshot. Well, you know, there's only two
things in Texas, steers and queers.
And Johnny, if you're a steer, Iwant to eat you.
But if you're a queer, same. Answer.
Why do you got to ruin my joke, asshole?
(16:38):
We love steaks and we love homosexuals here.
We don't judge, we will eat. Everybody.
No, we judge, but we're fairly even about it.
I just realized you put a chandelier up.
Yeah, holy hell. Yep man, you did redecorate.
It there's some, yeah. So, so Mike's been doing some
redecorating. You can kind of see behind me,
(17:01):
new T there's another TV, a different TV up here.
That TV moved. That TV's gone.
That TV went to hear the big TV went over there.
There's a turntable behind me I'd show you, but it just looked
like I was picking my ass. So then there's a chandelier up
there that no one. Used to be, yeah, I was about to
say. It used to be in my front hall
and I rewired it so I could plugit in.
It's just freaked. I love it.
(17:23):
Oh God, I can't wait. We got like stage lights on too.
Yeah, they're bright. We got LEDLED.
Strip up there. Yeah, there's.
Going to be another one that go across the top of the whiskey
bottles too. I like it.
Looks good man. So I've been I I've got.
Incidentally, being dry and thenworking in here for 10 1/2
hours. Oh yeah, I'm sure she's like son
(17:44):
of a bitch. That's another reason I got the
the the NA. So I've been I've, I've got, you
know, I've got that basement because my.
We don't know because we've not been invited.
Well, I haven't. Well, no one's been invited yet,
but I have a basement that's probably.
Changing the colors no. One can see it, but it's there.
(18:05):
We can. We can.
It's setting the. Ambience.
The reading lights. It's rainbow.
Can you? Make it the word just changes,
yeah. Yeah, there you go, just flat.
There we go, Cycles. No, I feel like I'm a teenager.
Nature in their bedroom getting on TikTok.
So this in in the MC mansion. The basement is about 1500
square feet. Nice.
(18:26):
It's fucking enormous. And I'm, I've had contractors
come over to give me quotes on just dry walling it out, you
know, insulating it, doing the, the bathroom, because there's a
bath, there'll be a bathroom down there that'll.
Be handy, yeah. Is there an entrance to the
basement from the outside? No, and I've almost considered
putting in like a seller style entrance where you have the 2
(18:47):
doors that just open up, but I don't know that the HOA would
like that so much and it would have to go on the South side of
the house and they're. Like what if there's a twister?
Yeah, I'm like, I got to go to my basement.
They're the only way. The only way to get there is to
walk all the way around the house.
So I'm just like, I probably won't do it, but this guy.
(19:08):
'S that has an egress and I'm just putting in a bedroom so I
have to have the way to. Get out.
I thought about the egress thingbut I don't know.
They want to spend the 11:50 grand to have it put in.
So one guy comes in and he's at like $55,000 for framing.
(19:28):
I'll do it for 54. For framing flooring.
Yeah. Painting the ceiling, doing the
bathroom completely, like there's no drywall on the
ceiling at all. I'm just, I'm having it all
painted black. The only place there'll be
drywall on the ceiling is in thebathroom and in one of the nooks
because the nook is super echoey.
It's it's all concrete. So I have to do something and
(19:52):
that's, that's getting everything done.
And then I have to move a couplethings, like I need to move the
pressure tank for the well. Need is in the way.
The hot water tank is getting replaced.
We found out that it's, it's from 2005.
It's gas. It's got calcium deposits in it,
(20:13):
like bouncing around. I'm like, this thing's a fucking
time bomb. Well.
That's 'cause nobody ever drains.
No one ever cleans their shit. Like they're supposed to.
I mean, I did it twice in 15 years at the old house.
Like I said. I know, but I had to.
I mean, I replaced teeter coils.I did it, I drained it.
You're. Supposed to drain it every year.
I don't. No one does.
I'm saying nobody. Nobody does so anyway, so we're
(20:36):
going to a tankless system. Yeah, we're going to a tankless
system. So that's getting moved out of
the way. And then everything.
And then there'll be a fake wallput up.
Or not a fake wall, but a wall put up for.
To hide it all. Yeah, to hide everything.
That'll be the mechanics room, but I'm just like fuck 50,001
guy's like well we're doing a 900 square foot basement now and
(20:56):
with everything and finished out, you know, we're looking at
65,000. I'm like, you're just framing
and putting insulation up. Like the big thing is the
bathroom. Everything else is like like I
tell. Me.
How much for the bathroom? I could do it myself.
The problem is it'll take me 10 times longer because I got to do
it in free time, right? So, but I have another quote
(21:18):
from another guy and it's right around 38,000, which is a little
more reasonable. It's about where I want to be.
It's the guy that it's my handy guy that does.
The other shift. For 48,000, he's not only going
to do the basement, he's going to put in the hot water tank,
move the pressure tank, run a a gas line for when we want to
(21:40):
upgrade our our stove. The stove he's going to put in
18 can lights in the house upstairs.
I'm like. This that's that's the way to.
Do it. This is what we're doing.
This is probably the way I'm going to end up going.
Plus I haven't heard back from two of the guys.
That drives me fucking crazy. That I sent that that came to
(22:00):
the house like they're just nowhere to be found.
And I won't follow up like I that's not my responsibility.
Like they want to work. You send me a message, you get
with me. So hopefully we'll be able to
record a show at the house at some point in the basement,
maybe in June. Because once, once everything's
(22:21):
done, I'll do all the finished work.
There's some fake paneling that I want to make it look like and
get the walls that painted. Yeah, class it up, get some
furniture down there. There'll be 4 fucking TV's just
in one area. Studio can we do the faux wood
paneling and shag carpet like? No.
Like avocado green shag carpet Iavocado refrigerator.
I had considered it at one point, but orange.
(22:43):
And red floral couch. Now there's already an orange
carpet here in Lancaster. Nobody.
Wants to be a nobody wants to goto that shit hole.
I don't even want to know. It's a bar.
I don't want to. Know oh OK it's just a bar so
I'm looking forward to getting the basement done and then once
I get that nailed down and that work starts then I start on the
(23:04):
backyard because there's nothingback here and I've got to get a
deck and patio and. All the things.
Hot tub and landscaping and it'sgoing to be that's going to be a
goddamn mess. I'm going to tear up my
backyard. That'll go over well.
The HOA. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what
they think as long as it looks nice after it's done, who gives
(23:26):
a shit? So it's been.
Happening for 20 years, it's an ongoing project.
Yes. So how long it took me to build
the last deck? It literally took me 12 years to
to build it and finish it so and.
Then you. Moved and then I moved, so you
know. Fucking neighbor.
Yeah, fuck that guy. So apparently the Oh my.
(23:48):
Wedgie. Speaking of the my my old
neighbor up the road, the one I I bourbon guy that I drink with,
he sent me a text. He's like, what the fuck is the
guy doing who just bought your house?
I'm like, I don't know, you livenext door to him.
He's like, well. Strange thing is is I don't live
there anymore so I'm. Like, I don't know.
And he goes, was there extra dirt from when you excavated the
(24:12):
pool? I'm like, Nope.
So there's like piles of dirt fucking down there everywhere.
I'm like, no, there was no dirt.He moved the shed to the back of
the property back towards the pond, which is not really a
pond. And apparently he's grading the
ground like he's he's, I'm like he's putting in a building like
that's I, I know what he's doing.
(24:32):
He's he's prepping it for a building and he's like, Are you
sure? He's like, I'm not sure what
he's doing down there. He's like he's ripped out half
the fence too. And I'm like his property, not
my problem. Like I don't care.
I just hope he drives the other guy nuts.
Like I just hope he's right. Just driving him fucking insane.
What he's doing is he's grading everything so it drains to the
(24:54):
new fucking great. Well, there was some, there was
some grading that I that I needed to do that I never got
around to doing. And I'm just like, fuck it.
I don't. And then we moved and now I'm
really like, fuck it, I don't care.
Like I've driven by the house a couple times just to see like
what's going on down there. And at one point, so my old
(25:14):
office was army green and you could see it was green from like
if the window was open, the lights were on.
It is stark fucking white right now.
Like it is so God damn right I drove.
I'm like, holy shit. It's like fucking North Star up.
There say it's a beacon. So these matches aren't great.
(25:35):
This thing won't stay lit either.
They were free. You can never keep a cigar lit.
I can't keep a match lid either,apparently.
Anyhow, so we're on to the next one.
This is from Brew Dog, it is punk AF and it is a hoppy ale
and Mike is like halfway throughhis class already.
(25:56):
So technically there technicallythere is alcohol in these.
A little bit, yeah, but it's no more than mouthwash.
My reply to TF as question is more apropos now.
They were like hey one weekend dry January, how's everybody
doing? I just put moist.
Yes, yeah. Yes I did.
(26:16):
I did post a. Video today.
Yeah, I I posted a video today from.
The the one you that got sent. No, it's about a dry.
It's about dry January, and Jimmy's the only one who liked
it. It's kind of like that's fucking
stupid. But I can't remember if it's Ron
(26:38):
Burgundy or who it was that Ron Burgundy.
But it's like when when your friends want to do Dry January
and then it comes up and but I can't remember who who it was.
My brain is not working 100%. Hundred 100%.
So all right, I I'm kind of enjoying this.
(27:02):
Yeah, I like this one better than the first.
One yeah, I like the side. The the punk is good.
The punk is good. And I know that the punk AF is
alcohol free, but God damn. No, that's punk as fuck.
Yeah, it's hazy. Hazy as fuck.
Elvis as fuck. Yeah, I like, I like, I like the
non alcoholic stuff. Like it's not that I don't like
(27:23):
it. You just don't get the, you
don't get the high from it. Flavor.
I mean, it weathers that too. It's very muted, this fucking
thing. I'm just I'm going to use up all
of Randy's free matches trying to keep this thing lit you.
(27:44):
Want the torch? No.
OK. I want to struggle with this.
So anyway, we need to take a little break here for a sponsor
read though. So you got you guys didn't know
about that. We got we we picked up a sponsor
or a few OK, so. Here's our sponsors.
(28:07):
We're going to, we're going to, I'm going to try to get through
this live reading without hey fucking it up.
Dick soft get blue chew. Seems like they sponsor every
podcast. They yeah, they they sponsor a
lot of. Hymns.
Get blue chew. It's like Viagra but cheaper.
Now this one. Through Zoom.
This one is. Teamteamu.com.
(28:30):
This is this is an upcoming company called High Giggle
Hormones. Oh, it's testosterone.
Like HGH? So how are they sponsoring us?
Well, we're going to read this and then people that go and buy
it, we get a cut. All right, I like it.
OK. And you're going to do the read
you, you the three of us are arethe one that's going to do the.
Read I am, I'm going to attempt this.
(28:53):
Ladies and gentlemen, our first ever sponsor read in five years.
We're. Going to We're going to see how
this goes. So this episode is brought to
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use code BC. Was it BCP 2024?
Fantastic. Good job, Martell.
You like that? I'm just that's.
(29:54):
How you made it through there? I did.
I read it word for word. You can clip that out so we can
just use it every time. Maybe.
It's good stuff. I was surprised you didn't jump
in with something. I it was a sponsor read.
I'm trying to be professional. Trust me I had thoughts.
BCP 2024. Yep.
Why BCP? Fuck.
Wow. BHP.
(30:15):
BHP sorry buck one pocket no is it how do I name the shows it's
now I got to look yeah I don't fuck my brain is not working
apparently for. Take 2.
Well, no, no, it's yeah, it's BCP, but BHPBHCHGHTHC.
(30:40):
ABCSWT as well. Two threes.
B It's it's it's BCP 2024. That's what I told them to use
BCPBCP. PCP2020.
Four, it's Buck Corn Podcast BCP.
It's fine. You sound like a four year old
(31:01):
trying to say our podcast name. Buck Corn Podcast.
Buck Corn Podcast. I do lit.
Yeah, I may. I may clip that out so that we
can. I'll just plug it in somewhere
and beginning of the show, end of the show type of thing.
All right, well, we got a legit sponsor.
You got to say bucket. Buckhorn Podcast.
(31:26):
I want to do the next read for it.
If you want to find a motherfucking giraffe and bite a
Birdman flight, get your BCP Butt Bird Podcast I.
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Fight a bird mid play. Now we can't make fun of our of
(31:47):
our sponsor. No, I just want to do like that
extreme like guaranteed to make you run faster and jump higher.
You can fight the rats and RIP out their purple tongues.
Purple tongues. No, thank you.
Good read man. You like that?
Glad we got a sponsor. Me too, I.
(32:07):
Kind of want to try it, It actually sounds kind of
interesting. Well, they didn't send us any
so. Which but if we use BCP 2024 we
can get our own discount. We can get our own discount,
it's 10% off. Hey, there you go.
Take that, Texas, you're a jerk.I'll pick my butt on my own
(32:29):
podcast if I want. Maybe I'll fondle your mom's
balls while I'm at it, boy. That took a turn.
Yeah, it did. Jesus Christ.
Him too. All right, I see.
We got. We got what, two more?
Three if we want. Three if we want.
Look, I got to drive. I got I got hazy as fuck,
(32:51):
Elvis's fuck and Guinness. Fuck it, let's run through them.
Let's so. Yeah, run through the Save the
Guinness for last. Yeah, save the Guinness for
last. So so the nanny state as far as
let's. Nanny nanny states like you
have. 2 Was that the first one? That was the first one.
I'll get about two doughnuts. OK, Yeah, 2, two out of five.
It wasn't bad, but that's not something, especially without
(33:12):
the alcohol. I'd be like, yeah, I need more.
Well, I don't think that they do.
They have a like a hoppy golden that is alcoholic like.
What would be equivalent to that?
Pull up brew dogs. Because punk as fuck they don't
like that is. They they, I mean Punk is their
flagship IPA. That's right.
Never. Mind Yeah Punk is their flagship
IPA, Elvis Juice Elvis, one of their is their biggest sellers.
(33:35):
Hazy Jane is another one of their flagships.
Another giant. Wedgie.
I mean, most of these are their flagships.
OK. That's not a.
I'm not completely. Against brew Dog, they're just
pricey. They're just overly priced for
what they do, and I get it. This smells great.
(33:58):
This is a New England style hazy.
Brew Dog has a wine that I love.I forget what it's called I I
know the bottle. That's.
Not bad, no, that's. Really.
So so nanny, we all set a 2. Yeah, yeah.
So punk. I'm at a three.
You're at a three and a. Half.
Three. If you're looking for something
(34:18):
cold to drink on a hot day aftermowing the lawn and you.
Don't want to get fucked up? And and you're, you've already
bit in a bird mid flight and fought a giraffe and you're
like, you're like man, I need tocool off chill little the punk
AF good stuff. Yeah, I like it.
Refreshing, yeah. This though.
This is really tasty. I like this.
This says embrace the opaque because it reminds me of hugging
(34:40):
our buddy DJ. He's opaque.
He is kind of opaque. He's a black, blackest, opaque
guy. That is black, but he is
definitely opaque. He is white.
He is a C. Pai was at Harley's basketball
game. They were wearing white jerseys,
so I was constantly yelling get the ball white, get the ball.
(35:00):
Go Whitey. But the other team was primarily
black and maroon, and they were yelling get them all black.
So we were rooting for the whites.
I know our buddy from Texas loves that.
I was rooting for the whites. They're white and purple.
You think this is black? And maroons.
(35:21):
Our Texas boy just went hell yeah.
Praise Hill. Praise Hill, Turn left.
Go fast. I love my cousin.
I've actually. That's Alabama.
You can love your No, that's, that's West Virginia.
West Virginia's cousin, Alabama sister.
You can love your cousin, just don't.
Love. Make Love, cousins.
(35:41):
Love so all right, so I'm. I like the hazy more than the
punk. I like the hazy a lot more than
the punk and I. Like the punk as a actual beer
more than I like the hazy, but Ilike the non alcoholic hazy
better. Yeah, the punk I'm, I'm, I'm
probably like a 2 1/2 on that punk.
I'm at a three on the I'm at a three on this hazy.
Yep, I'm opposite of you. Really.
(36:02):
Yeah, the hazy is not bad, but it's got a different after
taste. I don't hate, but I don't love.
The punk was just refreshing thewhole way down.
OK, Yeah. It was just, it was just smooth
and cool and just a nice cold beer.
Like if that thing was like freezing cold on ice, you know?
See, that's what I feel with this hazy.
With the hazy, I've just got a little of the after taste.
(36:23):
Again, it's not a bad after taste, I just don't like it as
much as the punk. I can get down with that.
Still, still good. I can get with that.
For non alcoholic beer, I'm impressed.
Yeah, for non alcoholic beer I'm.
With all three of them, I'm impressed like.
Honestly non alcoholic beers have come the really long way.
Why? Almost went got some o'douls in
(36:43):
a just so we could compare. Because that's the only non
alcoholic beer I'd had before today.
God damn it, what is? What's the the beer that comes
in a green bottle? Oh, Heineken, Heineken, Heineken
0.0 is is really good. I was.
Thinking that I had. One last night.
It was. That's what we did.
I had one last night, yeah. I had one leftover in my fridge
last night and the Shanks came over real quick so I had one of
(37:05):
those. Yeah, that's that's what it was.
We did either either last year or the year before.
I can't remember we but we did anon alcoholic on on the show
before and I think it was it wasthe Heineken 000.0 because
that's because that's we also did the athletic you and I.
I I think the athletics pretty decent.
(37:25):
Too. I'm almost certain we did the
athletic. We did an athletic one too
because I specifically went out in bottom.
Like I don't really like this one.
I'm almost certain it was so. Yeah, I like this.
Oh. Man, I'm going to buzz.
I need to check something real. Quick, I was about to say you're
doing this wrong then. Oh, walkie.
Walkie. Walkie, yes.
(37:48):
OK, still still recording. I didn't unplug anything.
Sweet. Didn't trip over anything this
time. Get off Instagram, Mike, we're
podcasting. All right, looking up beers.
OK, so the hazy, we're at a three.
Really like the hazy. You're at a three, I'm at a
three, you're at a 2 1/2, you'rein a 2 1/2, Mike's at a three.
And then we've got the Elvis leftover and Elvis.
(38:09):
I'm a big fan of Elvis juice. Yeah, I really the double Elvis
juice, though. Don't like, don't like it.
No, but the Elvis juice, the regular stuff, it's darker.
I had the Elvis in a flight one time but I don't remember it.
Grapefruit IPA. It's a grapefruit.
IPA and I I love grapefruit. I do too.
I just cut one open and just a little bit of sugar and eat it.
(38:31):
Yeah, I used to have grapefruit spoons.
They have a serrated edge on theon the end of them.
Another. Another grated.
Porks where I come from? No, no, no, no, no.
It's it's a It doesn't. Have spoon.
It doesn't have tines, it just has a slight serration.
OK you guys are rich, but as faras poor white trash we use
sporks. I I actually I have a titanium
spork too. That's not real.
(38:53):
It is. I'm going to bring it next week
and I'll stab you with it. Most people have a silver spoon.
He has a titanium. I have I have a titanium spork.
Way to up it. I know I bought it for work.
The. You work from home.
As it was years ago because I needed something that I could
keep at my desk because I got tired of eating with plastic
(39:15):
silverware. All right, so Elvis AF and I
like that they called it AF and they called it alcohol free.
But everybody else, we all know what AF stands for after
finishing. Aardvark fight?
(39:37):
If you ever want to punch an Aardvark, use BCP 2024 for 10%
off of HGH whatever. Aardvark Punting.
After after you slain a giraffe.High giggle hormones.
It choked out a bird mid flight.We're never going to get paid.
They're going to listen to the show and be like, fuck it, we're
(39:58):
pulling. We're out that.
Wouldn't be the first time somebody pulled out on us.
So, but they're not going to finish.
Is that our problem or theirs? So I think after, well, we we're
doing this Elvis, then what? Then we'll have the, the
Heineken or the, the Guinness. But I think so.
(40:20):
Mike and I were talking about doing Winterfest Beer Fest and
you're like, Nah, I'm out on that, which is fine.
Yeah, I might be in on that. I just said I was out on that.
We'll see how I feel when it comes closer.
Well, our thought is maybe hitting up what we got to get
with Dom and Zach first, so doing Winterfest.
They're involved. I mean, they're actually one of
(40:41):
the sponsors. Yeah, they're one of the the big
ones. They're one of the bigger
sponsors, Double edges, but maybe hitting up Winterfest
getting, we'll call it a buzz, it'll be more than a buzz.
And then heading over the Doubleedge and recording a show over
there with Dom and Zach. If.
They're up for. It the only thing that might be
(41:02):
a problem with that is that. They have to shut everything
down. And they'll have to be there
for, you know, posterity. You know how I mean, Dom will be
walking around. But yeah, we'll figure that.
We'll figure all that out. And if it doesn't work that way,
then it doesn't work that way. But either way, at some point
(41:22):
we're going to get Dom and Zach on the show.
And it's kind of a mixed bag because I'd like to do it at
double edge, but then we can't do anything extra because you
can't bring in outside alcohol or anything there.
If we do it in the back, we could because then we're not in,
we're in the back, which would probably have to record back or
(41:42):
anyway just to avoid noise and other bullshit.
And then I want to have, I need to order.
I need to order some 2 bitch andI want to have God damn it why
am I? I'm Lauren, yes Lauren and Joe.
Jesus I'm blanking my my brain'snot working at all today so I
(42:05):
want to have Lauren and Joe on the show.
Get them call in. You need some HGH.
No put. Your brain to work so you can
find an alligator. I can tell you what happened.
So I'm I have a pinched nerve right now.
In your brain. No, in my neck.
I would have guessed your brain a long time.
Ago. Yeah, well, that's just, that's
just fucked up. The fact that you've read
through a whole read without stuttering made me think
(42:26):
something's wrong with you. Well, I've been.
I've been working on it. I went back to kindergarten.
He's, he's been at home like. I've been.
I've been reading. Every night he's just going up,
going over it. I've been reading this second.
Yeah, OK, so I want to have Joe and Lauren on the show, and I
want to try to get Jason C from the Mash and Drum on the show.
(42:46):
That would. Be awesome.
That'd be cool. So, and he's down for it.
We just got to find time becauseI've already talked to him about
it. He actually mentioned us on one
of his live shows. Oh.
Really. Did he mention that we sell HGH?
Only because I logged in as I logged in under both my accounts
from I logged in from my phone into YouTube and logged into
(43:10):
YouTube from the Buckhorn YouTube account and I was
watching his show on both devices and I was commenting to
myself and to him and I was. I got great engagement on this
show. I could.
Have been like holy hell. Buckhorn podcast here too.
What's funny is I would, I wouldask him a question with my, or
with the Buckhorn account. He'd answer it and I'd ask, I'd
(43:32):
answer the his question back from my personal account.
So he knew, I mean, he knows that it was both of me, but I
was just, I was just being funny.
So, but I talked to him and he was, he's like, I'm down.
He's like, oh, you know, we justgot to find time.
And he did say at one point he did say he's like, I'm going to
(43:52):
mention your show and see what your just see if your levels
rise. We gained 1 listener from Texas.
Well, he did it with dude, like he's always mentioned the
bourbon Hunters and their engagement went like through the
fucking roof. Sweet.
So I'm like, yeah, I mean, you don't.
I said I was being like, Mod, I'm like, you don't have to.
(44:13):
Like if you do it, great, you don't.
Have. To you don't.
You don't have to, but please, pretty please.
It was why I was. If you can mention that, we can
get you 10% off. I was standing there.
I'm like, you don't have to do it.
However. If you know, you want to, it's
fine. It's fine.
You just, you know, just say, hey, go check out the Buckhorn
(44:36):
podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you. Think you know if you fight
trash? So I don't know, we'll see.
He, he hasn't really mentioned other than the fact that I was
logged in and he's like a Buckhorn podcast.
I'm like, because I we're, he was talking about the bourbon
trail. So that's why I logged in under
my account or the the Buckhorn. Account.
(44:57):
I don't know how this slipped mymind.
That was one of my Christmas gifts.
The Bourbon Trail. Bourbon Trail?
Yeah. Are you going?
Yeah. When?
Don't know, haven't set it up yet.
That's one of my Christmas gifts.
Bourbon Trail. Bourbon Trail?
You going? Nope.
Just don't know when. He could have been like, it's
like. I got a gift certificate to Jack
Fry's, one of the restaurants down there.
Yeah. And Melissa bought 2 tickets for
(45:19):
the Fraser Museum. OK.
So like there's money invested now it's.
Just a matter of fought Ollie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice addition. Yeah, yeah.
Well, there's an Ollie Blvd. down.
There, if he takes HGH, he can find a giraffe.
Never again find a Never. So yeah, it's just a matter of
like my schedule, her schedule, everything else that's going on,
(45:41):
we just have to figure it out. We both bought got trips for
each other. If, what if if get it, get it
scheduled soon. And if you're going to do it,
schedule the Evan Williams Speakeasy tour.
This, but not the tour, but the Speakeasy tasting.
Fucking do that. Yeah, absolutely.
Do it 'cause that is that is thebest part of going into the Evan
(46:05):
Williams stuff. Like it's the best tasting that
you'll ever get. That's awesome.
Yeah, alright, let's rate the Elvis juice.
So we can move on, Elvis Juice. 33.5.
Yeah, I'm at a three five, 3 1/2.
Yeah, OK. Love it.
Yeah, that's my favorite of them.
All. Yeah, it is.
It is by far the best one. Yeah, it's my favorite of like
the actual beers that they make.That's one that I will get.
That's one of the most popular. Yeah, consistent basis.
(46:27):
When I go boating, I go by like the if I can get a 12 or 18
pack, yeah, that's what I pick. Up and they and they're usually
the big boys anymore, too. Yeah, well, they did AI haven't
seen recently they they do a 12 pack of the big boys.
They did an 18. I was like.
For the for the price of a 12, Iwas.
Like yes. In that was awesome.
(46:48):
I'm. Very curious about this one
because I love Guinness. I'm.
Not a huge Guinness guy so I'm I'm bi curious about it.
OK, so I got a Christmas, one ofthe Christmas gifts.
I I'm going to see Bert Kreischer when he comes into
April. That's awesome.
Get him on the show. I I would love to get him on the
show. I don't think he'll come on, but
(47:10):
I can shoot him a message and like, hey.
Called in for 5 minutes. Hey, I'm going to be I'm I'm,
I'm coming to the show. I want to.
Hey, you get that HGH shit and tell him we have it and you tell
him he can come in here, show him the wall and be like you're
pick bird. I guarantee you he'd show up.
I don't guarantee that, but. Not guarantee I'll show up.
Like there's no way of backing that up, right?
Knowing Bert Kreischer. I'm also not reliable, yeah.
(47:33):
I don't, I don't know. I mean, I'll message him.
How? Fuck, I'll message him right
now. Funny with that.
Hold on. Hey, we got a podcast.
We're huge fans. We love two bears in one cave.
The cabin's my favorite show ever.
It is such a great show. The the machine was some people
like it was stupid. I'm like it was funny.
The. Movie.
I went into it knowing the premise and I still laughed.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm, I'm not expecting
(47:57):
this to win awards. I'm here to be fucking
entertained. Every time he does stand up, I
laugh. He's got it.
Well, I've I've watched all of his specials.
Yep, and Secret Time is by far the funniest one.
Razzle dazzle's good but secret.Time is the girl is fucking
funny as hell too. Yeah, I'm kind of hoping I'm,
I'm, I'm secretly hoping becauseBert's here that.
(48:18):
He'll show. Up no that while maybe Tom shows
up, but the Dave Chappelle showsup because Dave should.
When Rogan was here, yeah, he just popped up.
He just popped in. He showed up when the Chili
Peppers were. Here, Yeah, I'm.
So I'm hoping that Chappelle would just kind of sneaks in
because that would be awesome because when he did it with Joe,
he did an entire hour like. Just yeah.
(48:39):
And Joe was like, shit, I got mywhole system, you know, he's
like, I got my whole set to do too.
So everybody got like this. Bonus.
Bonus hour of of Chappelle. That'd be awesome.
God damn it. Chappelle's my favorite comedian
right now by far. He's got a new special out, too.
He does Burr segura Kreischer. Hilarious.
(49:00):
It's OK. Yeah, it's just it's Guinness
light. It's got A and it might be the
cigar. It's got like a funny after.
Taste. It's like sharp malt.
Yeah. Yeah, Guinness has that too.
I don't get it with normal Guinness.
We should compare. Light, light.
(49:22):
We need to do the Nas next to the regulars you.
Can totally do that. Yeah, I mean, obviously not this
month, but. You suck at.
Sucking a Dick. You know, but if he had some
HGH, he could keep that lid I. Swear to God him, use all your
fucking. They were free.
(49:43):
And worth every penny. Worth every penny.
Right, woo light. There we go.
Go on. Meanwhile, I lit my cigarette
once and it's just sitting therejust chilling.
Apparently I need to pack these like a cigarette or something.
Anyway. All right, so the Guinness. 2.
(50:05):
Yeah, that's what I'm like. I was, I was like 1/2 two.
Yeah, 2's Two's more than more than worthy.
Like, I like, I like Guinness. I'm out of one on this this.
Isn't, but this isn't. Yeah, that's not.
I was curious and I was like fuck, we're doing an Asia water
as well. Guinness.
And Guinness doesn't have much to go with anyways, right?
(50:25):
Little 4 Percenter. So it's it's all right.
I'm a one. I would not buy this again.
Ever this one? Well, you say again, but.
I would not buy this. I would not drink this.
Well, I might someone else bought it, but I doubt it.
I'm not a fan of this one. All four of those knocked this
out of the. I agree.
Yeah, the the Elvis Juice was the best one by far.
(50:46):
Yep, Elvis hazy punk it reverse order of how we drank them for.
Me Mongo's Elvis Punk hazy. What was the 1st?
One nanny state. Nanny state.
And Guinness. Is which is a great fucking name
for a non alcoholic beer. It's like, there we go.
Guinness is so low it's by the giraffes hooves.
(51:09):
If I think about HGH I can't even see Guinness that's so far
below me. We might be their best sponsor.
God I hope that people start buying shit now.
I won't get I'm going to paint HGH on my belly next time.
Just be like Wham. Oh my God, don't do that high
gigglehormones.com BCHBCPB. CP We don't know.
(51:33):
BCP 2024. PCP.
PCP, yeah. THC, somebody's going to go
there to buy from us and put in the wrong thing, and we're never
going to see a dime because Martel can't spell.
That's all right, anyway, check us out on Facebook, Instagram,
and Twitter. It's the tweet.
And YouTube. Fucking Twitter.
Google. XX.
X. It's a Google tube Instagram.
(51:56):
Did you see the recent valuation?
X slash Twitter has lost 73% of the value he bought it for.
Oh, I'm sure. Well, I use it just as much now
as I did on his Twitter. Yeah, you can have that.
Fuck, I don't. Yeah, I don't want.
That can you just imagine like wasting that?
$40 billion. And just and be like, yeah,
(52:17):
like, meh, whatever. Yeah, he did that and then went,
you know what? Let's just go launch a rocket
about it. Yeah, like.
Jesus Christ. I wish, I wish I could just
that's like that's like me buying something for that's like
50 bucks and be like whatever, it's 50 bucks.
I just I just bought a Tesla andjust drove it into a fucking
(52:38):
bridge abutment off the lot, just off the lot, fuck it, and
then walked away. I'll.
Buy another. One how you walk away you did.
I'll buy, I'll buy another one. It's fine anyway.
Fucking believable. Like, share, subscribe on
YouTube. Comment.
Comment I love, I love, I love that Johnny's comment and so
time. To pimp it, but.
(53:00):
Keep. Keep it up.
Do that 15 minutes ago. There.
Anyway, I'm Martel for Mike and Randy.
We're out. We're out.
Bye.
Hey, what are you going to bringit here and then?
We got matches. There was.
I don't need no stinking matchesthere.
Were two unused matches and Ray's like I got matches.
I bought cigars and he was like,you want free matches?
I was like, yeah. Shit matches are fine.
I can take free matches. I like matches I don't.
Need your stinking? Matches all right.
(00:21):
I'll use my torch. Shut up.
Yeah. All right.
Merry Christmas. Happy.
Now. Welcome to the Buckhorn Podcast.
I am Martell with me always thisMike and Randy at the Mac Shack.
What's up guys? If you've ever had a toad on
your wet sprocket, you're in good company.
(00:44):
You like that one? I like that one I thought of.
I thought of that on the way out.
I have no clue why because I waseven listening to music.
I like that one. See.
See. Now you need matches.
Now you need matches. Boy, if only I had a book of
matches here. Oh.
Yeah. So happy New Year, guys.
Like this is our first show backtogether after New Year's, New
Year and it's still within the week.
(01:05):
So we can, we can say Happy New Year, we can.
Yeah, I mean, we could say happy.
Kwanzaa. We could say in July if we
wanted to. Well, we can say whenever we
want, but you know, whatever. So hey, how was everyone's
Christmas and their new year 'cause we didn't really.
We haven't really. I mean, we've been texting but
we haven't really chatted. My Christmas was great.
(01:27):
I gave gifts I was I was excitedabout, passed out, hit my head
on the door frame. Not supposed to do that.
Yeah, so so. Generally frowned upon.
That was that was Christmas Eve.I don't know what happened.
Had lunch at Mom and Dad's were going to open gifts.
I stood up. Everybody's talking.
Next thing I know, Timber and I woke up about halfway down,
(01:51):
tucked my chin and let me see a torch please.
Matches didn't work well in the big.
Yeah, it's about to say it's being spotty so.
But yeah, so I passed out and don't know why.
Awesome. That's great news to hear,
Randy. It's been.
It's been. One week.
One week to me. Damn it.
(02:12):
It's been one week since I was seeing Tweety birds spinning
around. Seeing stars.
Well, stars look beautiful. I'm glad that you're OK.
I mean as. Far as we know.
As much as I'd like you, I guessI'll take it.
I'm glad to hear that you're. Wrecked.
I'm not dead. You're still 6 foot above that
was I had. I had concerns.
(02:33):
Yeah, Beth, Beth, Mom said. My eyes went blank.
Glassy stare. She was, she was like, you were
looking right through me, like. 1000 yard stare.
Yeah, Beth thought I was dead. None of those things are good.
Well, there for a while, I thinkMike and I thought you were dead
because you weren't responding any messages.
And you're usually like it message comes in, it's like it
shows you your little icon that you've read it.
(02:55):
And they were they weren't coming through at all.
And I'm like Randy, I looked at Liz.
I'm like Randy might be dead. And she's like, what?
I said. He hasn't responded to a message
in the past two hours. Yeah, I was there was a over the
holidays I did a lot of try not to die and therefore soul
(03:16):
searching. I'm off Facebook naps there for
Fridays and maybe Mondays which I think it's just good healthy.
Yeah, social media sucks anyway.Yeah, like it's the worst.
It was weird the first week because I'm always sharing memes
and yeah, but I was like, you know, it's not it.
Hurts the first time. Yeah, depends on how you've
(03:38):
prepped, But I was like, you know, it's not that bad.
I don't miss it as much as I thought I would.
Good. But I also replied, I muted like
all my messages, all my Signal chats, I muted everything.
For like 3 days don't mute us. I didn't mute you guys.
I just didn't reply. There's a couple I didn't mute,
(03:59):
but I was just like, I just, I just wasn't in the right mind to
do anything. I didn't drink because I was
like, well, you almost died, so let's just like try and not.
Not die. Eat crap and drink crap for a
while and it's like every time Istood up, that's like, if you're
(04:20):
going to stand up, let me know. So wherever I was, she wanted to
be in the room, which, fair enough.
Yeah, you fell down and bumped your head.
That's smacked hard. But yeah, so I'm still here.
Yeah. And you guys are like, we going
to record New Year's Eve. And I was like, no, you go
without me. I'm I still wasn't right.
Like I don't know if I should bedriving just yet.
(04:42):
Yeah. Probably that's like, well, I'll
drive and then we'll just like sit in the truck.
I was like for 2 1/2 hours. That sounds you and a five year
old. Yeah, that's like that sounds
like a recipe for. Mr. Yeah.
I was like, no, I'm not making you do that.
That's where drive around lovelydowntown Lancaster.
So. All the methods.
Go to the AHA museum or whatever.
Go to the Glass Museum. Go to the mall and this is where
(05:05):
her Old Navy used to be and. It's still there.
It's still there, old. Navy is What about the arcade?
Yeah. There is an arcade.
Yes, there is an arcade that. One in the back corner.
Yep, that's still there. I I used to take Huck there all
the time because you could walk.Like you go in that side door
and there's like 4 people in there.
Yeah, I think it's still there. Nice.
There's it's a lot of now it's just.
I had money right outside that II I had money outside that
(05:29):
arcade. I wonder if anybody found it
when I was doing that TikTok hide money thing.
Yeah, I did one there and nobodyever applied.
They found it. I also did one at the Dum Dum
factory. Did you know that's in Ohio?
The. Fuck the oh like the suckers no.
Yeah, it's a new place. I remember seeing that TikTok.
It's a place called Bryan, Ohio.There's nothing in this town.
Like there's not a hotel in thistown.
There's two motels and I will not stay at those.
(05:53):
Well, but I was there for work and I was like, hey, Dum Dum
factory, let's check it out. It was middle COVID so I
couldn't take the tour, so I hida thing in their lot and then.
Security came out and they're like, what the fuck are you
doing? No, I, I, I hit it, let I always
leave with a note like, hey, I'mon TikTok, here's some money.
Congrats. If you're on TikTok, tag me.
(06:14):
If not, have a nice day. Yeah.
And like 6 months ago, this dudefound it.
He's a he's a security guard walking the lot and I hid under
gravel and stuff and like one oftheir parking lots.
Yeah. And it somehow got kicked up and
he picked it up and he was like,hey.
And I was like, holy crap, that was like 3 years ago.
Like I thought somebody just found it and, you know, it was
gone. Yeah, Nope.
(06:35):
And yeah, he was like, hey, he found it.
I was like, awesome. I wonder if the one in Lancaster
is still there though. I'm about to go down to the mall
after this. You can't.
I'll tell you right where it's at, OK, Since you're on TikTok
and all. Yeah.
So how was yours, Mike? It was get like this is the
busiest time of year for me, so like all of all of my spare time
(06:55):
has been sent just like resting and recuperating.
So that's the same. I mean, it's but I, I, so I, we
spend, I, I think we all the three of us spend about the
entire month of December drinking.
Yeah. Like I did until I passed out,
hit my head and then I was like.So.
(07:16):
Maybe time out? Yeah, like I don't think
drinking calls that, but it can't help it.
Can't help it so I always do a dry January every like.
I've been doing it for years now.
Every January. Every January, every year.
And then Mike? Dry January and March.
I well, you can, I guess. I mean it's like no nut
November. You do that in in April.
(07:38):
I'd rather not dress. It's bad for.
Your prostate. Maybe do all nut November.
Just a jerk off all day. I can't go out yet.
More can you? So my Christmas, same thing it
was I gave gifts that I, I felt that people would would want and
like, like Liz got a six foot fake olive tree.
(08:03):
Fantastic. For her office that is the only
thing she said she wanted out of365 fucking days this year.
But she's like, what do you whatdo you think about getting some
fake plants from my office? Because she'll kill a real
plant. She will murder that fucking
thing. And I'm like, all right, yeah.
You know, we can. We can do.
That does she kill plants or areplants not?
(08:24):
Their plants kill themselves. Yeah, they probably they commit
suicide. They just she.
Just they get cleaned. They just, whatever they're,
they're Epsteined. She doesn't like for whatever
reason, she can't. They just don't sustain it.
They. Just don't stay alive, so.
And she tries it's not that she doesn't like water them, she
doesn't over water they just nothing.
(08:46):
So I got her this 65 foot olive tree.
I've never seen someone so excited for a fake plant like
immediately RIP the when she opened up she's like Oh my God.
And then starts like. Like.
Opening it, opening it and trying to put it together before
anything is ever done. I'm like calm the fuck?
Down here, there's others. This is open, this is it.
She's like, Nope. It's like the kids, you open one
(09:07):
toy and they want to play with the media and I'm like, you got
more. Nope.
Harley fucking played with the box that came in the Amazon box
when it when I took it out-of-the-box, she took the box
up to her room, snuck it up to her room and was playing in the
box. I'm like, what the hell are you
doing? You're 11.
We got an Amazon box now that you know, there's little fake
(09:27):
tea lights with the fake flame. Yeah, Beth pokes holes in the
box, put them upside down. Jet lays in there and like reads
and stuff. Awesome.
Well, that would have saved us some money.
Yeah, no. Kidding.
So. So anyway, we got Dry January
going on we're it's the 7th. I'm far so.
Good. So far so good.
I'm feeling really good. Like I typically I'm like, you
(09:49):
know, I'll just get a drink. But apparently I have the
willpower enough to go. I don't need one.
It'd be nice to have one, but I don't need one.
But because we drink and talk shit on the show, we're going to
do near beer. And I think that's what I'm
going to call the show. I think I'm going to call it
near beer. So you have non you already had
(10:14):
non non alcoholic sitting aroundhere.
So we've got This is Nanny Statefrom BrewDog, which is right up
the road. Yeah, I bought the BrewDog mix
pack. They actually have a robust non
alcoholic selection as a matter of, you know, shameless plug,
you know, in the month of January if you go to BrewDog,
(10:36):
they will give you and buy a nonalcoholic beer.
It's free refills in January. Because it's water.
Yeah. It's carbonated, Flavored.
It's beer flavored water. Yep.
So near beer always got me and Ihad a cousin that for his
bachelor party, he quit drinkingbecause he was going too far.
So he gave up alcohol at that time.
(10:56):
Yeah. And so I got a bunch of like
O'doul's NA and. Drinking it?
Kind of, yeah. Yeah, that's the only thing,
only option I had at the time. What is?
What is the one that starts withan H?
Fuck I can't think of the. I think it's an H.
Henninger Henninger I don't think makes 1.
(11:17):
Maybe it's not an H. There's one that's just non
alcoholic. There's because I, I, we did it
last year. Athletic, Athletic.
Athletic I, I've had athletic. I don't know that I was a huge
fan of their stuff. I mean, it all tastes like.
Well. It smells good, tastes good,
sorta. It's like drinking decaf coffee.
This smells like an icon, no? There's nothing there and it's a
hoppy. It's a hoppy gold, yeah.
(11:37):
Oh yeah, Randy's not going to like it.
No, it's not. It's hoppy and there's no
alcohol. I'm going to hate it.
It's kind of grapefruit. Yeah, little club sodi.
Like all near beer just tastes grape sodi or club soda.
Yeah, like I had a beer. There's a little bit left in it.
I filled up the glass with club soda.
And this is it. This is White Claw.
I'm drinking a White Claw, right?
(11:58):
Now, yeah, it's yellow. It's a yellow white claw.
Yeah, yeah. That's fair enough.
It's not terrible. No, it's.
It's fine like it. What it does is in in like I get
home from a long day at work. This scratch is an itch.
Yeah, yeah, this'll this'll, this'll scratch a big itch for
people. Yeah, and I found out in the
(12:19):
state of Ohio because when I bought it, it, there was no tax
on it. And I was like, that doesn't
seem right. Near beers, wines, liquors,
whatever. Denatured spirits that are .5
and under are considered a food item in Ohio, so they're not
subject to sales tax or liquor tax.
(12:41):
How can we do that with whiskey?You may have to drink like.
Whiskey. That's point point .5% whiskey.
How can we do that with hazmat nobles of whiskey?
Can we get 140 fours with no taxbe?
Awesome. Well, I, I did find out that in
the little OHLQ news, Jim, the guy who runs the the Liquor
Control Agency right now is apparently moving to take over
(13:05):
the weed industry of Ohio. Cool.
So hopefully we get better selection of stuff in here in
Ohio because his selections suck.
I'd never go get an OHLQ pick for anything because they are
usually trash. But so you're, if you, if you
(13:28):
live in Ohio and you want weed, you're going to get it.
And it's going to come in 33 fucking flavors like
baskin-robbins, everything. It's all going to be flavored
bullshit. Whatever that's.
Fine, so. I'm happy getting free, I'm I'm
happy to smoke it legally. Well, what was funny is.
Take a gummy. Really.
(13:49):
When I was leaving, so I was at my youngest basketball game,
came straight here, my father-in-law was there and I
said he's like, oh, you're you're leaving now.
He's like I said we drove separate.
Listen, I drove separate and he's like, ow, he is.
I said I got to do a podcast. He's like, oh, and he looked at
me and he goes are you in vibing?
And he went like this and I wentwhat are you talking about,
(14:10):
Danny? And he's like.
Eating chocolate. He just like he goes, you know,
it's and he and I'm I'm like. I'm going to need you to use
your words here. I'm like, what are you talking?
I said, what do you mean? Like am I?
I said, it's I'm doing a podcast.
He's like, yeah, I said not a podcast.
(14:30):
And he goes, he's like, you knowwhat, drinking whiskey?
I'm like drinking whiskey, I said.
Sip sip pass. I'm like, is there something we
need to you and I need to discuss like in vibing in and he
goes get out of here. He's like, dude, get out of
here. He's so, he's so straight laced.
(14:51):
He saw the new whistle pig. I, I, I messaged him, yeah.
Did you hear? Back.
Nope. Yeah, no, I sent them a message
and I have not gotten a responseyet on if there's any way that
we can get a sample bottle to try for the show.
And I did it from the Buckhorn Instagram account, so I don't
(15:12):
know, fingers crossed. And it doesn't show for business
accounts. It doesn't show when someone's
seen or read it. So I don't know.
Apparently it's time to see whathappens.
It's not time to end the show, though.
Randy just stood up. I actually stood up about no,
I'm counting, I'm actually aboutlike 11 because I just want to
see how many times I can stand up during the show and move the
(15:35):
chair so it. Looks like I love it.
I love it. So a listener down in Texas.
If you check the YouTube comments, Johnny Edwards is.
Hey, Johnny. He's been, he's been commenting
on things, and he said he knows when the show's about the end
because about 15 minutes before it's over, Randy stands up.
And picks a three foot wedgie out of my butt, Correct.
Which I I told them before the show.
(15:56):
I said it's funny because I don't.
I was like, do I? I don't often get wedgies.
So I watched it back. Matches.
And it's where I'm so fat. I stand up and I adjust the
stool behind me, but you can't see the stool.
You just see my arm go behind myback moving.
Shaky. Shaky.
And it's but it's still hilarious.
(16:18):
Oh dude, I lost it. I sent it to everybody.
The screenshot. Well, you know, there's only two
things in Texas, steers and queers.
And Johnny, if you're a steer, Iwant to eat you.
But if you're a queer, same. Answer.
Why do you got to ruin my joke, asshole?
(16:38):
We love steaks and we love homosexuals here.
We don't judge, we will eat. Everybody.
No, we judge, but we're fairly even about it.
I just realized you put a chandelier up.
Yeah, holy hell. Yep man, you did redecorate.
It there's some, yeah. So, so Mike's been doing some
redecorating. You can kind of see behind me,
(17:01):
new T there's another TV, a different TV up here.
That TV moved. That TV's gone.
That TV went to hear the big TV went over there.
There's a turntable behind me I'd show you, but it just looked
like I was picking my ass. So then there's a chandelier up
there that no one. Used to be, yeah, I was about to
say. It used to be in my front hall
and I rewired it so I could plugit in.
It's just freaked. I love it.
(17:23):
Oh God, I can't wait. We got like stage lights on too.
Yeah, they're bright. We got LEDLED.
Strip up there. Yeah, there's.
Going to be another one that go across the top of the whiskey
bottles too. I like it.
Looks good man. So I've been I I've got.
Incidentally, being dry and thenworking in here for 10 1/2
hours. Oh yeah, I'm sure she's like son
(17:44):
of a bitch. That's another reason I got the
the the NA. So I've been I've, I've got, you
know, I've got that basement because my.
We don't know because we've not been invited.
Well, I haven't. Well, no one's been invited yet,
but I have a basement that's probably.
Changing the colors no. One can see it, but it's there.
(18:05):
We can. We can.
It's setting the. Ambience.
The reading lights. It's rainbow.
Can you? Make it the word just changes,
yeah. Yeah, there you go, just flat.
There we go, Cycles. No, I feel like I'm a teenager.
Nature in their bedroom getting on TikTok.
So this in in the MC mansion. The basement is about 1500
square feet. Nice.
(18:26):
It's fucking enormous. And I'm, I've had contractors
come over to give me quotes on just dry walling it out, you
know, insulating it, doing the, the bathroom, because there's a
bath, there'll be a bathroom down there that'll.
Be handy, yeah. Is there an entrance to the
basement from the outside? No, and I've almost considered
putting in like a seller style entrance where you have the 2
(18:47):
doors that just open up, but I don't know that the HOA would
like that so much and it would have to go on the South side of
the house and they're. Like what if there's a twister?
Yeah, I'm like, I got to go to my basement.
They're the only way. The only way to get there is to
walk all the way around the house.
So I'm just like, I probably won't do it, but this guy.
(19:08):
'S that has an egress and I'm just putting in a bedroom so I
have to have the way to. Get out.
I thought about the egress thingbut I don't know.
They want to spend the 11:50 grand to have it put in.
So one guy comes in and he's at like $55,000 for framing.
(19:28):
I'll do it for 54. For framing flooring.
Yeah. Painting the ceiling, doing the
bathroom completely, like there's no drywall on the
ceiling at all. I'm just, I'm having it all
painted black. The only place there'll be
drywall on the ceiling is in thebathroom and in one of the nooks
because the nook is super echoey.
It's it's all concrete. So I have to do something and
(19:52):
that's, that's getting everything done.
And then I have to move a couplethings, like I need to move the
pressure tank for the well. Need is in the way.
The hot water tank is getting replaced.
We found out that it's, it's from 2005.
It's gas. It's got calcium deposits in it,
(20:13):
like bouncing around. I'm like, this thing's a fucking
time bomb. Well.
That's 'cause nobody ever drains.
No one ever cleans their shit. Like they're supposed to.
I mean, I did it twice in 15 years at the old house.
Like I said. I know, but I had to.
I mean, I replaced teeter coils.I did it, I drained it.
You're. Supposed to drain it every year.
I don't. No one does.
I'm saying nobody. Nobody does so anyway, so we're
(20:36):
going to a tankless system. Yeah, we're going to a tankless
system. So that's getting moved out of
the way. And then everything.
And then there'll be a fake wallput up.
Or not a fake wall, but a wall put up for.
To hide it all. Yeah, to hide everything.
That'll be the mechanics room, but I'm just like fuck 50,001
guy's like well we're doing a 900 square foot basement now and
(20:56):
with everything and finished out, you know, we're looking at
65,000. I'm like, you're just framing
and putting insulation up. Like the big thing is the
bathroom. Everything else is like like I
tell. Me.
How much for the bathroom? I could do it myself.
The problem is it'll take me 10 times longer because I got to do
it in free time, right? So, but I have another quote
(21:18):
from another guy and it's right around 38,000, which is a little
more reasonable. It's about where I want to be.
It's the guy that it's my handy guy that does.
The other shift. For 48,000, he's not only going
to do the basement, he's going to put in the hot water tank,
move the pressure tank, run a a gas line for when we want to
(21:40):
upgrade our our stove. The stove he's going to put in
18 can lights in the house upstairs.
I'm like. This that's that's the way to.
Do it. This is what we're doing.
This is probably the way I'm going to end up going.
Plus I haven't heard back from two of the guys.
That drives me fucking crazy. That I sent that that came to
(22:00):
the house like they're just nowhere to be found.
And I won't follow up like I that's not my responsibility.
Like they want to work. You send me a message, you get
with me. So hopefully we'll be able to
record a show at the house at some point in the basement,
maybe in June. Because once, once everything's
(22:21):
done, I'll do all the finished work.
There's some fake paneling that I want to make it look like and
get the walls that painted. Yeah, class it up, get some
furniture down there. There'll be 4 fucking TV's just
in one area. Studio can we do the faux wood
paneling and shag carpet like? No.
Like avocado green shag carpet Iavocado refrigerator.
I had considered it at one point, but orange.
(22:43):
And red floral couch. Now there's already an orange
carpet here in Lancaster. Nobody.
Wants to be a nobody wants to goto that shit hole.
I don't even want to know. It's a bar.
I don't want to. Know oh OK it's just a bar so
I'm looking forward to getting the basement done and then once
I get that nailed down and that work starts then I start on the
(23:04):
backyard because there's nothingback here and I've got to get a
deck and patio and. All the things.
Hot tub and landscaping and it'sgoing to be that's going to be a
goddamn mess. I'm going to tear up my
backyard. That'll go over well.
The HOA. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what
they think as long as it looks nice after it's done, who gives
(23:26):
a shit? So it's been.
Happening for 20 years, it's an ongoing project.
Yes. So how long it took me to build
the last deck? It literally took me 12 years to
to build it and finish it so and.
Then you. Moved and then I moved, so you
know. Fucking neighbor.
Yeah, fuck that guy. So apparently the Oh my.
(23:48):
Wedgie. Speaking of the my my old
neighbor up the road, the one I I bourbon guy that I drink with,
he sent me a text. He's like, what the fuck is the
guy doing who just bought your house?
I'm like, I don't know, you livenext door to him.
He's like, well. Strange thing is is I don't live
there anymore so I'm. Like, I don't know.
And he goes, was there extra dirt from when you excavated the
(24:12):
pool? I'm like, Nope.
So there's like piles of dirt fucking down there everywhere.
I'm like, no, there was no dirt.He moved the shed to the back of
the property back towards the pond, which is not really a
pond. And apparently he's grading the
ground like he's he's, I'm like he's putting in a building like
that's I, I know what he's doing.
(24:32):
He's he's prepping it for a building and he's like, Are you
sure? He's like, I'm not sure what
he's doing down there. He's like he's ripped out half
the fence too. And I'm like his property, not
my problem. Like I don't care.
I just hope he drives the other guy nuts.
Like I just hope he's right. Just driving him fucking insane.
What he's doing is he's grading everything so it drains to the
(24:54):
new fucking great. Well, there was some, there was
some grading that I that I needed to do that I never got
around to doing. And I'm just like, fuck it.
I don't. And then we moved and now I'm
really like, fuck it, I don't care.
Like I've driven by the house a couple times just to see like
what's going on down there. And at one point, so my old
(25:14):
office was army green and you could see it was green from like
if the window was open, the lights were on.
It is stark fucking white right now.
Like it is so God damn right I drove.
I'm like, holy shit. It's like fucking North Star up.
There say it's a beacon. So these matches aren't great.
(25:35):
This thing won't stay lit either.
They were free. You can never keep a cigar lit.
I can't keep a match lid either,apparently.
Anyhow, so we're on to the next one.
This is from Brew Dog, it is punk AF and it is a hoppy ale
and Mike is like halfway throughhis class already.
(25:56):
So technically there technicallythere is alcohol in these.
A little bit, yeah, but it's no more than mouthwash.
My reply to TF as question is more apropos now.
They were like hey one weekend dry January, how's everybody
doing? I just put moist.
Yes, yeah. Yes I did.
(26:16):
I did post a. Video today.
Yeah, I I posted a video today from.
The the one you that got sent. No, it's about a dry.
It's about dry January, and Jimmy's the only one who liked
it. It's kind of like that's fucking
stupid. But I can't remember if it's Ron
(26:38):
Burgundy or who it was that Ron Burgundy.
But it's like when when your friends want to do Dry January
and then it comes up and but I can't remember who who it was.
My brain is not working 100%. Hundred 100%.
So all right, I I'm kind of enjoying this.
(27:02):
Yeah, I like this one better than the first.
One yeah, I like the side. The the punk is good.
The punk is good. And I know that the punk AF is
alcohol free, but God damn. No, that's punk as fuck.
Yeah, it's hazy. Hazy as fuck.
Elvis as fuck. Yeah, I like, I like, I like the
non alcoholic stuff. Like it's not that I don't like
(27:23):
it. You just don't get the, you
don't get the high from it. Flavor.
I mean, it weathers that too. It's very muted, this fucking
thing. I'm just I'm going to use up all
of Randy's free matches trying to keep this thing lit you.
(27:44):
Want the torch? No.
OK. I want to struggle with this.
So anyway, we need to take a little break here for a sponsor
read though. So you got you guys didn't know
about that. We got we we picked up a sponsor
or a few OK, so. Here's our sponsors.
(28:07):
We're going to, we're going to, I'm going to try to get through
this live reading without hey fucking it up.
Dick soft get blue chew. Seems like they sponsor every
podcast. They yeah, they they sponsor a
lot of. Hymns.
Get blue chew. It's like Viagra but cheaper.
Now this one. Through Zoom.
This one is. Teamteamu.com.
(28:30):
This is this is an upcoming company called High Giggle
Hormones. Oh, it's testosterone.
Like HGH? So how are they sponsoring us?
Well, we're going to read this and then people that go and buy
it, we get a cut. All right, I like it.
OK. And you're going to do the read
you, you the three of us are arethe one that's going to do the.
Read I am, I'm going to attempt this.
(28:53):
Ladies and gentlemen, our first ever sponsor read in five years.
We're. Going to We're going to see how
this goes. So this episode is brought to
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Fantastic. Good job, Martell.
You like that? I'm just that's.
(29:54):
How you made it through there? I did.
I read it word for word. You can clip that out so we can
just use it every time. Maybe.
It's good stuff. I was surprised you didn't jump
in with something. I it was a sponsor read.
I'm trying to be professional. Trust me I had thoughts.
BCP 2024. Yep.
Why BCP? Fuck.
Wow. BHP.
(30:15):
BHP sorry buck one pocket no is it how do I name the shows it's
now I got to look yeah I don't fuck my brain is not working
apparently for. Take 2.
Well, no, no, it's yeah, it's BCP, but BHPBHCHGHTHC.
(30:40):
ABCSWT as well. Two threes.
B It's it's it's BCP 2024. That's what I told them to use
BCPBCP. PCP2020.
Four, it's Buck Corn Podcast BCP.
It's fine. You sound like a four year old
(31:01):
trying to say our podcast name. Buck Corn Podcast.
Buck Corn Podcast. I do lit.
Yeah, I may. I may clip that out so that we
can. I'll just plug it in somewhere
and beginning of the show, end of the show type of thing.
All right, well, we got a legit sponsor.
You got to say bucket. Buckhorn Podcast.
(31:26):
I want to do the next read for it.
If you want to find a motherfucking giraffe and bite a
Birdman flight, get your BCP Butt Bird Podcast I.
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Fight a bird mid play. Now we can't make fun of our of
(31:47):
our sponsor. No, I just want to do like that
extreme like guaranteed to make you run faster and jump higher.
You can fight the rats and RIP out their purple tongues.
Purple tongues. No, thank you.
Good read man. You like that?
Glad we got a sponsor. Me too, I.
(32:07):
Kind of want to try it, It actually sounds kind of
interesting. Well, they didn't send us any
so. Which but if we use BCP 2024 we
can get our own discount. We can get our own discount,
it's 10% off. Hey, there you go.
Take that, Texas, you're a jerk.I'll pick my butt on my own
(32:29):
podcast if I want. Maybe I'll fondle your mom's
balls while I'm at it, boy. That took a turn.
Yeah, it did. Jesus Christ.
Him too. All right, I see.
We got. We got what, two more?
Three if we want. Three if we want.
Look, I got to drive. I got I got hazy as fuck,
(32:51):
Elvis's fuck and Guinness. Fuck it, let's run through them.
Let's so. Yeah, run through the Save the
Guinness for last. Yeah, save the Guinness for
last. So so the nanny state as far as
let's. Nanny nanny states like you
have. 2 Was that the first one? That was the first one.
I'll get about two doughnuts. OK, Yeah, 2, two out of five.
It wasn't bad, but that's not something, especially without
(33:12):
the alcohol. I'd be like, yeah, I need more.
Well, I don't think that they do.
They have a like a hoppy golden that is alcoholic like.
What would be equivalent to that?
Pull up brew dogs. Because punk as fuck they don't
like that is. They they, I mean Punk is their
flagship IPA. That's right.
Never. Mind Yeah Punk is their flagship
IPA, Elvis Juice Elvis, one of their is their biggest sellers.
(33:35):
Hazy Jane is another one of their flagships.
Another giant. Wedgie.
I mean, most of these are their flagships.
OK. That's not a.
I'm not completely. Against brew Dog, they're just
pricey. They're just overly priced for
what they do, and I get it. This smells great.
(33:58):
This is a New England style hazy.
Brew Dog has a wine that I love.I forget what it's called I I
know the bottle. That's.
Not bad, no, that's. Really.
So so nanny, we all set a 2. Yeah, yeah.
So punk. I'm at a three.
You're at a three and a. Half.
Three. If you're looking for something
(34:18):
cold to drink on a hot day aftermowing the lawn and you.
Don't want to get fucked up? And and you're, you've already
bit in a bird mid flight and fought a giraffe and you're
like, you're like man, I need tocool off chill little the punk
AF good stuff. Yeah, I like it.
Refreshing, yeah. This though.
This is really tasty. I like this.
This says embrace the opaque because it reminds me of hugging
(34:40):
our buddy DJ. He's opaque.
He is kind of opaque. He's a black, blackest, opaque
guy. That is black, but he is
definitely opaque. He is white.
He is a C. Pai was at Harley's basketball
game. They were wearing white jerseys,
so I was constantly yelling get the ball white, get the ball.
(35:00):
Go Whitey. But the other team was primarily
black and maroon, and they were yelling get them all black.
So we were rooting for the whites.
I know our buddy from Texas loves that.
I was rooting for the whites. They're white and purple.
You think this is black? And maroons.
(35:21):
Our Texas boy just went hell yeah.
Praise Hill. Praise Hill, Turn left.
Go fast. I love my cousin.
I've actually. That's Alabama.
You can love your No, that's, that's West Virginia.
West Virginia's cousin, Alabama sister.
You can love your cousin, just don't.
Love. Make Love, cousins.
(35:41):
Love so all right, so I'm. I like the hazy more than the
punk. I like the hazy a lot more than
the punk and I. Like the punk as a actual beer
more than I like the hazy, but Ilike the non alcoholic hazy
better. Yeah, the punk I'm, I'm, I'm
probably like a 2 1/2 on that punk.
I'm at a three on the I'm at a three on this hazy.
Yep, I'm opposite of you. Really.
(36:02):
Yeah, the hazy is not bad, but it's got a different after
taste. I don't hate, but I don't love.
The punk was just refreshing thewhole way down.
OK, Yeah. It was just, it was just smooth
and cool and just a nice cold beer.
Like if that thing was like freezing cold on ice, you know?
See, that's what I feel with this hazy.
With the hazy, I've just got a little of the after taste.
(36:23):
Again, it's not a bad after taste, I just don't like it as
much as the punk. I can get down with that.
Still, still good. I can get with that.
For non alcoholic beer, I'm impressed.
Yeah, for non alcoholic beer I'm.
With all three of them, I'm impressed like.
Honestly non alcoholic beers have come the really long way.
Why? Almost went got some o'douls in
(36:43):
a just so we could compare. Because that's the only non
alcoholic beer I'd had before today.
God damn it, what is? What's the the beer that comes
in a green bottle? Oh, Heineken, Heineken, Heineken
0.0 is is really good. I was.
Thinking that I had. One last night.
It was. That's what we did.
I had one last night, yeah. I had one leftover in my fridge
last night and the Shanks came over real quick so I had one of
(37:05):
those. Yeah, that's that's what it was.
We did either either last year or the year before.
I can't remember we but we did anon alcoholic on on the show
before and I think it was it wasthe Heineken 000.0 because
that's because that's we also did the athletic you and I.
I I think the athletics pretty decent.
(37:25):
Too. I'm almost certain we did the
athletic. We did an athletic one too
because I specifically went out in bottom.
Like I don't really like this one.
I'm almost certain it was so. Yeah, I like this.
Oh. Man, I'm going to buzz.
I need to check something real. Quick, I was about to say you're
doing this wrong then. Oh, walkie.
Walkie. Walkie, yes.
(37:48):
OK, still still recording. I didn't unplug anything.
Sweet. Didn't trip over anything this
time. Get off Instagram, Mike, we're
podcasting. All right, looking up beers.
OK, so the hazy, we're at a three.
Really like the hazy. You're at a three, I'm at a
three, you're at a 2 1/2, you'rein a 2 1/2, Mike's at a three.
And then we've got the Elvis leftover and Elvis.
(38:09):
I'm a big fan of Elvis juice. Yeah, I really the double Elvis
juice, though. Don't like, don't like it.
No, but the Elvis juice, the regular stuff, it's darker.
I had the Elvis in a flight one time but I don't remember it.
Grapefruit IPA. It's a grapefruit.
IPA and I I love grapefruit. I do too.
I just cut one open and just a little bit of sugar and eat it.
(38:31):
Yeah, I used to have grapefruit spoons.
They have a serrated edge on theon the end of them.
Another. Another grated.
Porks where I come from? No, no, no, no, no.
It's it's a It doesn't. Have spoon.
It doesn't have tines, it just has a slight serration.
OK you guys are rich, but as faras poor white trash we use
sporks. I I actually I have a titanium
spork too. That's not real.
(38:53):
It is. I'm going to bring it next week
and I'll stab you with it. Most people have a silver spoon.
He has a titanium. I have I have a titanium spork.
Way to up it. I know I bought it for work.
The. You work from home.
As it was years ago because I needed something that I could
keep at my desk because I got tired of eating with plastic
(39:15):
silverware. All right, so Elvis AF and I
like that they called it AF and they called it alcohol free.
But everybody else, we all know what AF stands for after
finishing. Aardvark fight?
(39:37):
If you ever want to punch an Aardvark, use BCP 2024 for 10%
off of HGH whatever. Aardvark Punting.
After after you slain a giraffe.High giggle hormones.
It choked out a bird mid flight.We're never going to get paid.
They're going to listen to the show and be like, fuck it, we're
(39:58):
pulling. We're out that.
Wouldn't be the first time somebody pulled out on us.
So, but they're not going to finish.
Is that our problem or theirs? So I think after, well, we we're
doing this Elvis, then what? Then we'll have the, the
Heineken or the, the Guinness. But I think so.
(40:20):
Mike and I were talking about doing Winterfest Beer Fest and
you're like, Nah, I'm out on that, which is fine.
Yeah, I might be in on that. I just said I was out on that.
We'll see how I feel when it comes closer.
Well, our thought is maybe hitting up what we got to get
with Dom and Zach first, so doing Winterfest.
They're involved. I mean, they're actually one of
(40:41):
the sponsors. Yeah, they're one of the the big
ones. They're one of the bigger
sponsors, Double edges, but maybe hitting up Winterfest
getting, we'll call it a buzz, it'll be more than a buzz.
And then heading over the Doubleedge and recording a show over
there with Dom and Zach. If.
They're up for. It the only thing that might be
(41:02):
a problem with that is that. They have to shut everything
down. And they'll have to be there
for, you know, posterity. You know how I mean, Dom will be
walking around. But yeah, we'll figure that.
We'll figure all that out. And if it doesn't work that way,
then it doesn't work that way. But either way, at some point
(41:22):
we're going to get Dom and Zach on the show.
And it's kind of a mixed bag because I'd like to do it at
double edge, but then we can't do anything extra because you
can't bring in outside alcohol or anything there.
If we do it in the back, we could because then we're not in,
we're in the back, which would probably have to record back or
(41:42):
anyway just to avoid noise and other bullshit.
And then I want to have, I need to order.
I need to order some 2 bitch andI want to have God damn it why
am I? I'm Lauren, yes Lauren and Joe.
Jesus I'm blanking my my brain'snot working at all today so I
(42:05):
want to have Lauren and Joe on the show.
Get them call in. You need some HGH.
No put. Your brain to work so you can
find an alligator. I can tell you what happened.
So I'm I have a pinched nerve right now.
In your brain. No, in my neck.
I would have guessed your brain a long time.
Ago. Yeah, well, that's just, that's
just fucked up. The fact that you've read
through a whole read without stuttering made me think
(42:26):
something's wrong with you. Well, I've been.
I've been working on it. I went back to kindergarten.
He's, he's been at home like. I've been.
I've been reading. Every night he's just going up,
going over it. I've been reading this second.
Yeah, OK, so I want to have Joe and Lauren on the show, and I
want to try to get Jason C from the Mash and Drum on the show.
(42:46):
That would. Be awesome.
That'd be cool. So, and he's down for it.
We just got to find time becauseI've already talked to him about
it. He actually mentioned us on one
of his live shows. Oh.
Really. Did he mention that we sell HGH?
Only because I logged in as I logged in under both my accounts
from I logged in from my phone into YouTube and logged into
(43:10):
YouTube from the Buckhorn YouTube account and I was
watching his show on both devices and I was commenting to
myself and to him and I was. I got great engagement on this
show. I could.
Have been like holy hell. Buckhorn podcast here too.
What's funny is I would, I wouldask him a question with my, or
with the Buckhorn account. He'd answer it and I'd ask, I'd
(43:32):
answer the his question back from my personal account.
So he knew, I mean, he knows that it was both of me, but I
was just, I was just being funny.
So, but I talked to him and he was, he's like, I'm down.
He's like, oh, you know, we justgot to find time.
And he did say at one point he did say he's like, I'm going to
(43:52):
mention your show and see what your just see if your levels
rise. We gained 1 listener from Texas.
Well, he did it with dude, like he's always mentioned the
bourbon Hunters and their engagement went like through the
fucking roof. Sweet.
So I'm like, yeah, I mean, you don't.
I said I was being like, Mod, I'm like, you don't have to.
(44:13):
Like if you do it, great, you don't.
Have. To you don't.
You don't have to, but please, pretty please.
It was why I was. If you can mention that, we can
get you 10% off. I was standing there.
I'm like, you don't have to do it.
However. If you know, you want to, it's
fine. It's fine.
You just, you know, just say, hey, go check out the Buckhorn
(44:36):
podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you. Think you know if you fight
trash? So I don't know, we'll see.
He, he hasn't really mentioned other than the fact that I was
logged in and he's like a Buckhorn podcast.
I'm like, because I we're, he was talking about the bourbon
trail. So that's why I logged in under
my account or the the Buckhorn. Account.
(44:57):
I don't know how this slipped mymind.
That was one of my Christmas gifts.
The Bourbon Trail. Bourbon Trail?
Yeah. Are you going?
Yeah. When?
Don't know, haven't set it up yet.
That's one of my Christmas gifts.
Bourbon Trail. Bourbon Trail?
You going? Nope.
Just don't know when. He could have been like, it's
like. I got a gift certificate to Jack
Fry's, one of the restaurants down there.
Yeah. And Melissa bought 2 tickets for
(45:19):
the Fraser Museum. OK.
So like there's money invested now it's.
Just a matter of fought Ollie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice addition. Yeah, yeah.
Well, there's an Ollie Blvd. down.
There, if he takes HGH, he can find a giraffe.
Never again find a Never. So yeah, it's just a matter of
like my schedule, her schedule, everything else that's going on,
(45:41):
we just have to figure it out. We both bought got trips for
each other. If, what if if get it, get it
scheduled soon. And if you're going to do it,
schedule the Evan Williams Speakeasy tour.
This, but not the tour, but the Speakeasy tasting.
Fucking do that. Yeah, absolutely.
Do it 'cause that is that is thebest part of going into the Evan
(46:05):
Williams stuff. Like it's the best tasting that
you'll ever get. That's awesome.
Yeah, alright, let's rate the Elvis juice.
So we can move on, Elvis Juice. 33.5.
Yeah, I'm at a three five, 3 1/2.
Yeah, OK. Love it.
Yeah, that's my favorite of them.
All. Yeah, it is.
It is by far the best one. Yeah, it's my favorite of like
the actual beers that they make.That's one that I will get.
That's one of the most popular. Yeah, consistent basis.
(46:27):
When I go boating, I go by like the if I can get a 12 or 18
pack, yeah, that's what I pick. Up and they and they're usually
the big boys anymore, too. Yeah, well, they did AI haven't
seen recently they they do a 12 pack of the big boys.
They did an 18. I was like.
For the for the price of a 12, Iwas.
Like yes. In that was awesome.
(46:48):
I'm. Very curious about this one
because I love Guinness. I'm.
Not a huge Guinness guy so I'm I'm bi curious about it.
OK, so I got a Christmas, one ofthe Christmas gifts.
I I'm going to see Bert Kreischer when he comes into
April. That's awesome.
Get him on the show. I I would love to get him on the
show. I don't think he'll come on, but
(47:10):
I can shoot him a message and like, hey.
Called in for 5 minutes. Hey, I'm going to be I'm I'm,
I'm coming to the show. I want to.
Hey, you get that HGH shit and tell him we have it and you tell
him he can come in here, show him the wall and be like you're
pick bird. I guarantee you he'd show up.
I don't guarantee that, but. Not guarantee I'll show up.
Like there's no way of backing that up, right?
Knowing Bert Kreischer. I'm also not reliable, yeah.
(47:33):
I don't, I don't know. I mean, I'll message him.
How? Fuck, I'll message him right
now. Funny with that.
Hold on. Hey, we got a podcast.
We're huge fans. We love two bears in one cave.
The cabin's my favorite show ever.
It is such a great show. The the machine was some people
like it was stupid. I'm like it was funny.
The. Movie.
I went into it knowing the premise and I still laughed.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm, I'm not expecting
(47:57):
this to win awards. I'm here to be fucking
entertained. Every time he does stand up, I
laugh. He's got it.
Well, I've I've watched all of his specials.
Yep, and Secret Time is by far the funniest one.
Razzle dazzle's good but secret.Time is the girl is fucking
funny as hell too. Yeah, I'm kind of hoping I'm,
I'm, I'm secretly hoping becauseBert's here that.
(48:18):
He'll show. Up no that while maybe Tom shows
up, but the Dave Chappelle showsup because Dave should.
When Rogan was here, yeah, he just popped up.
He just popped in. He showed up when the Chili
Peppers were. Here, Yeah, I'm.
So I'm hoping that Chappelle would just kind of sneaks in
because that would be awesome because when he did it with Joe,
he did an entire hour like. Just yeah.
(48:39):
And Joe was like, shit, I got mywhole system, you know, he's
like, I got my whole set to do too.
So everybody got like this. Bonus.
Bonus hour of of Chappelle. That'd be awesome.
God damn it. Chappelle's my favorite comedian
right now by far. He's got a new special out, too.
He does Burr segura Kreischer. Hilarious.
(49:00):
It's OK. Yeah, it's just it's Guinness
light. It's got A and it might be the
cigar. It's got like a funny after.
Taste. It's like sharp malt.
Yeah. Yeah, Guinness has that too.
I don't get it with normal Guinness.
We should compare. Light, light.
(49:22):
We need to do the Nas next to the regulars you.
Can totally do that. Yeah, I mean, obviously not this
month, but. You suck at.
Sucking a Dick. You know, but if he had some
HGH, he could keep that lid I. Swear to God him, use all your
fucking. They were free.
(49:43):
And worth every penny. Worth every penny.
Right, woo light. There we go.
Go on. Meanwhile, I lit my cigarette
once and it's just sitting therejust chilling.
Apparently I need to pack these like a cigarette or something.
Anyway. All right, so the Guinness. 2.
(50:05):
Yeah, that's what I'm like. I was, I was like 1/2 two.
Yeah, 2's Two's more than more than worthy.
Like, I like, I like Guinness. I'm out of one on this this.
Isn't, but this isn't. Yeah, that's not.
I was curious and I was like fuck, we're doing an Asia water
as well. Guinness.
And Guinness doesn't have much to go with anyways, right?
(50:25):
Little 4 Percenter. So it's it's all right.
I'm a one. I would not buy this again.
Ever this one? Well, you say again, but.
I would not buy this. I would not drink this.
Well, I might someone else bought it, but I doubt it.
I'm not a fan of this one. All four of those knocked this
out of the. I agree.
Yeah, the the Elvis Juice was the best one by far.
(50:46):
Yep, Elvis hazy punk it reverse order of how we drank them for.
Me Mongo's Elvis Punk hazy. What was the 1st?
One nanny state. Nanny state.
And Guinness. Is which is a great fucking name
for a non alcoholic beer. It's like, there we go.
Guinness is so low it's by the giraffes hooves.
(51:09):
If I think about HGH I can't even see Guinness that's so far
below me. We might be their best sponsor.
God I hope that people start buying shit now.
I won't get I'm going to paint HGH on my belly next time.
Just be like Wham. Oh my God, don't do that high
gigglehormones.com BCHBCPB. CP We don't know.
(51:33):
BCP 2024. PCP.
PCP, yeah. THC, somebody's going to go
there to buy from us and put in the wrong thing, and we're never
going to see a dime because Martel can't spell.
That's all right, anyway, check us out on Facebook, Instagram,
and Twitter. It's the tweet.
And YouTube. Fucking Twitter.
Google. XX.
X. It's a Google tube Instagram.
(51:56):
Did you see the recent valuation?
X slash Twitter has lost 73% of the value he bought it for.
Oh, I'm sure. Well, I use it just as much now
as I did on his Twitter. Yeah, you can have that.
Fuck, I don't. Yeah, I don't want.
That can you just imagine like wasting that?
$40 billion. And just and be like, yeah,
(52:17):
like, meh, whatever. Yeah, he did that and then went,
you know what? Let's just go launch a rocket
about it. Yeah, like.
Jesus Christ. I wish, I wish I could just
that's like that's like me buying something for that's like
50 bucks and be like whatever, it's 50 bucks.
I just I just bought a Tesla andjust drove it into a fucking
(52:38):
bridge abutment off the lot, just off the lot, fuck it, and
then walked away. I'll.
Buy another. One how you walk away you did.
I'll buy, I'll buy another one. It's fine anyway.
Fucking believable. Like, share, subscribe on
YouTube. Comment.
Comment I love, I love, I love that Johnny's comment and so
time. To pimp it, but.
(53:00):
Keep. Keep it up.
Do that 15 minutes ago. There.
Anyway, I'm Martel for Mike and Randy.
We're out. We're out.
Bye.
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