#445 Middle West Pumpernickel Ryes

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
We're doing the two souls, double pumper, nickel, rye,
Middle West. I'm starting off with a beer.
OK, well. Let's start the show.
Randy said he can only do one show, so I mean.
Depend on. Randy said he's going to do that
show, so that show can be 3 or 4hours long.

(00:34):
Welcome to the Buckhorn podcast.I'm Martell.
With me always is Mike and Randyand Utah in the void.
God, this is getting really fucking.
Long If you move to another state and had to turn on your
vehicle for a bicycle, you've come to the right podcast.
Jesus, what's going on, Mike? It's.
Been a week. Oh, I know.
I mean. One week ago today, we were
like, actually around this time we were rescuing Ruby.

(00:58):
Yeah, that was yeah, it's 4/4/20.
I was rescuing myself. Yeah, Randy was driving through
10 foot of water too and he collapsed a road I.
Was about to say and then the road washed out and.
That had nothing to do to do with the rain.
You got to watch those gross vehicle wait signs man.
Yeah, no shit. No, I was well, like when I

(01:19):
left, Liz was like, you know, she she warned us, which will be
on that episode. She's like, hey, our our yard is
flooded. The road flow.
No, it's not. And yeah, I was like, OK, it
rained. It's like we're in flatland,
Ohio, kind of a higher part of Ohio.
And I went out front and there were people in Martel's
neighborhood stopping and walking to their houses.
I was like, well, that's not a good sign.

(01:40):
Yeah. But that was awesome.
That was if you leave here and turn left, I have to turn right.
And she was like, don't take Haven's court.
OK, So what do I do? My God, how bad could it be?
I was like, worst case, I'll turn around.
So I go down there and man, it, it was like there were some
parts where it was coming on theroad and everybody stopped in
their little yeah, Hyundais and Hondas and Toyotas.

(02:03):
But I could still see the road lines, like the the painted
lines. I'm like, oh, that's not bad.
So I went around, I'm just carefully drove through and then
I came to 1 where everybody stopped and I'm sitting there
and I'm like 4 or five cars backand the trucks it, you know, a
couple cars ahead of me. So I'm kind of waiting.
I'm like, well, if he's not going through in a big F-250,
let's let's see what happens. And these two pallets like get

(02:24):
stuck in the right lane. They float across and just stop.
They're stacked pallets. And I'm sitting there like, huh,
if I'm going to go, I got to go now or just try and hope I can
find a way home from here. So I start going in.
As I get to the water's edge, like I'm in the left lane, a log
crosses in front of me. It's like here we go.

(02:47):
So I went through that and then I went through two more on hey,
I went through I think 4 overflows on Havens Court alone.
Red truck follows me and we makeit fine.
And red truck disappears. It's gone, gets washed away.
But you know, you go up that hill and I'm like there, I'm,
I'm clear now. Well then I turn on Coon path.
Yeah, not clear. And I'm like, God damn it in a

(03:10):
way, and I'm the front car this time, so I'm sitting and
waiting. There's four or five cars the
other way and they're sitting. And that's the video I sent you
guys because I, I was literally driving like this.
I had no clue if I was recordinganything, you know, and I'm
waiting for this guy. He's in an SUV and it was
flowing pretty solid. So I just said screw it, I'm a
go. Mike, we're getting some weird

(03:31):
staticky feedback from On Your End.
I'll. Say I just started.
Air front air purifier is. That better?
It's still doing it. It's.
Still doing it. There, it's getting all right
now it's gone. It wound down.
So I I start going and once you start going through a water

(03:54):
covered Rd. like you don't want to stop right?
Yeah, you do. So I start, I start going in
right as I start to Crest through the last half of this,
the guy goes, now's a good time to turn around.
I've been sitting here for like 5 minutes, why not now?
And I was like, I'm going, dude,I will hit your Toyota CNO, Rav
4, whatever Highlander. I didn't think it was a

(04:16):
Highlander. And I was like, I'm going.
And if he didn't get out of the way, I'm just going to nudge
him. I'm going through him.
So I just kept going. I thought you luck.
He's like he should. He saw me not stop and he shot
back real quick, almost went down the ditch.
I'm like should have waited dummy stop.
Me coming. Yeah, so.
Yeah. And then so Randy leaves and I

(04:39):
go out and like double check thebasement.
I'm like, all right, I'm going to go.
I go outside. The neighbor's father-in-law is
standing outside their basement window fishing maybe.
I mean, he might as well have been.
And like it was deep. Like when I walk through that it
I'm 511, I've got average long legs and the water was up to my

(05:04):
balls was. It really.
Yes, I I thought. You were going to see like
calves. Or baby knees when I walked
between our yards that water wasup to my ball.
Like I had to hike my shorts up and I was wearing just regular
like 9 inch inseam shorts anyway.
Like short shorts above the knee.
Anyway, I had to hike them up and the shit was still right

(05:25):
tickling my nuts. I'm coming for real.
And so I go over there and talk to him and he's like, wow.
He's like, I don't know what's going on down there.
Matt's down there, You know, Bubble, I'm like, all right,
I'll run down to see if, you know, if he needs any help with
anything. So I get down there and like the
whole family's in the basement and there's it's.
With Dixie cups. Yeah, basically that's like they

(05:46):
got. Strolls are just like.
The the room they were in is no bigger than this crawl space
back here or this little area behind me.
And that's where their sump pumpis and like all of their shit
and they're in there like the wife has got like a, the, the
sump pumps in there running. They've also got a semi

(06:06):
submersible pump, meaning you can't put it all the way in.
She has to hold it. So she's been holding this pump
that's connected to a garden hose that's literally dumping
out at their foundation. And I'm like, you need to get a
longer hose. So I said you need to get a
longer hose. And he's like, so I like run
back over here to see if I have like a crimp on, like just a, a

(06:30):
band strap and A and a Barb fitting for a hose bib to, to
hook up another hose, go back over.
They don't have one or I don't have one there.
If they found out that, oh, that's not the case, they can
just take the hose off and put another garden hose on.
So they run a new hose out and Igo down and I'm like, what do
you need? So I just start grabbing 5

(06:51):
gallon buckets of water and walking them out of the
basement, out the backyard, taking him halfway out of the
backyard and just Chuck in the water.
It's like bailing a ship and just throwing the water right
back into it. It's like the ship's sinking and
you're just fucking, you're justgetting water from the ocean,
dumping it into it. It's like whatever.
So it's getting it's, but it's getting it out of the basement.

(07:13):
And they, they finally started getting literally above water.
So the, the pump starts working there.
And that took probably 30 minutes.
So I'm like, all right, I'm going to go check on, see if any
other neighbors need help because I'm doing good.
I might as well, you know, help anybody else.
I walk out their front door, down their driveway.

(07:34):
In the water is a foot over the road.
That's why the people were stopped.
That's why people were stopped so.
And it's not like it goes in a big dip there either.
No, it was just a. Gradual decline, but it's.
But it was. The shit was deep.
Well, I pulled out there as water and then dry and then at
the stop sign. That was yeah, at the entrance
to this. I thought the.
Stop sign was going to be the worst of my trip home.

(07:54):
I was like, I'm going to get a picture of this so they can see.
And then once I got the Havens car, I was like, screw that.
Yeah, there was nothing. So then I walk across the street
to the other neighbor's house where the water is within 5 foot
of the front of their house. And the, the, the guy comes out.
He's like, hey, he goes, we're all good over here.

(08:16):
You, you over there. I'm like, yes, I was just coming
to check to see if you guys needanything.
He's like, now we're good. Go, I'm like, all right, I'm
going to go next door, go next door.
And they don't answer the phone or they don't answer the door
when I knocked. So I called and she's like, oh,
we're, I don't know. She goes, I'm sleeping.
What's going on outside? Oh.

(08:37):
So she had no clue. She had no idea.
Let's just like we did, like we had no idea.
And she looks outside and she's like, Oh my gosh.
And so then her and her son comeoutside and like they're looking
around. Then I go to the next neighbor's
house and then I go to the next neighbor's house and most
everybody I talked to had water issues in their basement.

(08:58):
Jeez, like I checked on the neighborhood got.
Hit hard. Yeah, I checked on the lady
across the street on the other side of me and she's 87, lives
by herself. She's in a wheelchair.
And I, like, knock on the door and she opens up the garage door
and I, I'm like, hey, I want to go check your basement, make
sure everything's fine. Like it rained a lot.

(09:20):
She's like, oh, it's right here.How's everything looking like?
Everything's fine. She goes the only the only way I
ever know if there's something wrong with the basement and so
it's weird there's no basement access in her house.
It's. From the.
Garage it had it is only from the garage.
You can only get to her basementfrom the garage, which I'm like,
oh that's cool, but that's sucks.

(09:40):
Yes. So she goes.
The only way I know is if I wheel myself out here and I look
down the steps and if I see water in the landing at the
bottom, then I know there's a problem.
I mean, I might. OK, let's not.
Like she can eat herself down there and then crawl back up.
Well, she has an. She has an elevator down.
To the basement. To the basement.
Yeah. There's a like a wheelchair

(10:01):
accessible elevator that goes down to the basement because the
house was built for her son who was paralyzed.
Oh, OK. So it's built for a wheelchair.
So it's all single floor with and everything is rolled out.
And so I went and checked on her.
Cool by you just. Want to ride the elevator?
No, I walked down the steps. So that was at 2:30.

(10:25):
At 4:15, the water had started to subside and it wasn't up on
the road anymore. And by 5:30, the water was
completely gone. Yeah, like it was in fucking
sane. And then then at that time is
when I heard about Fido. And that's where Mike's dog was.
That's where Ruby was. Was it Fido?

(10:46):
Yeah. So with.
It all I was I had no clue because I would have left here
and gone there like Martell and I would have been in my truck
like let's go get this dog. But I.
Let's go get all the dogs. Yeah, so I, I don't know if I
don't know if you read that lastarticle I sent, but like when we
so we got we are on our way homefrom Emerald Isle.

(11:10):
And I think, I think Katie Shankwas like, hey, did you see what
happened with Fido? We're like, no, they're like,
oh, they had a huge flood last night.
So we called them at like 2:30 and we're like, hey, you know,
we're on our way home. Would it be easier if we came

(11:31):
and picked Ruby up right away And they're like, no, you know,
it was a little bit of a flood last night.
We've got everything cleaned andsanitized.
The dogs are all back in their crates.
We're like, it's not a problem. They're like, Nope, she's fine
here. So we're like, OK, great.
So we get home and we actually go visit Katie.

(11:51):
And she was like, yeah, did you see that Fido post?
We were there for like 10 minutes, 15 minutes.
She was like, did you see that new post from Fido about an hour
ago? And then so we look and I'm
like, oh shit. They're calling for all hands on
decks. They're asking for people with
leashes and kennels. So we go down there and you
know, it's flooded out. I mean, the water had receded,

(12:11):
but like, you can see the water line on the fence is like waist
high, 4 1/2 feet 4, four and a half feet high.
And so we go up to the, the, thewoman who lives there slash runs
it. Her husband was still in the
building. And we're like, hey, I'm Ruby's
mom. And she just almost starts

(12:32):
crying. She was like Ruby's who I got in
an argument with the firefighters about.
She was like, we were trying to get her out when the firefighter
said, no more animals. We have to get the people out.
And so Ruby was one of the 20 dogs that got left in there.
So we're like, well, where is she now?
Is she OK? They're like, yeah, she's at the
Humane Society. So we get over to the Humane

(12:55):
Society. And you could tell that, like,
she was completely wet. Like, she, you know, started to
be dried off. But like, you know, ears are
wet, heads wet. So she had been in there for all
ever long, just like swimming laps.
Jesus, that's fucking like. Yeah, it's, it's nerve wracking

(13:16):
and like it like, I'm glad, you know, I'm glad she's OK, but
Melissa's like been dealing withit.
She was like, we almost lost herand you know, that's.
Yeah. And like the community is like
completely come together to helpthem out.
Like Jackie O's downtown is likeevery day they're going to
designate a pint where the a dollar from that pint goes to

(13:38):
them. And the Whatever steakhouse down
the road is donating all their profits from one of their days
to them. They got a GoFundMe going.
They're awesome. Like we love them.
Like we just got, we just got a hold of them and we're like,
hey, so you know the circumstances.

(13:59):
We didn't get a chance to pay you.
So go ahead and run us for the amount.
Even though we picked her up a day early.
Run us for the full amount and and then once once that goes
through, we're going to donate to them.
OK, yeah, I took Bentley there once and they do all this stuff.
They're like, oh, you know, hey,by the way, just so you know,

(14:21):
there's a chance that you know, and there's always a chance
that, you know, your, your pup could get kennel cough, but we
don't have that here. It's fine.
Like we're not, we're not running into any of those
issues. So I'm like, cool, we go to
Texas, we come back, pick up Benny, my Fergus got kennel
cough. Like I pick him up and he's
like, as I pick him, I'm like, and I just looked at whoever's

(14:46):
there. I said, is that kennel cough?
And they're like, yeah, I said, weren't you the one who told me
that? The, you know, there's a chance,
but more than likely that wouldn't be the case.
Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah.
Well, it turns out. And I said, OK, they didn't lie.
They didn't lie, but I was just like.
It's unfortunate, but that's thekind of that's like sending your

(15:09):
kid off to school, man. You you take that risk.
I know I was pissed though, I had to get an antibiotic and
that God damn dogs. Now I'm getting his nuts cut
off. He's just like, I'll give me
back the kiddo cough. So yeah, him and him and Cricket
are both going to end up gettingneutered, I think.
Do you think that's some of the issues that he's been having

(15:30):
because of that? Yeah, I think maybe some of his,
he's being a little aggressive. So I think he's it's time to
make him. That that'll take him down a
notch. I'll.
Say I know it changed my attitude.
So we'll see what happens. But yeah, so there's all of that
bullshit that happened and. Then that was shit.

(15:50):
Today. And that was fun.
And then for you. Guys, just for me.
Oh, Randy got stuck behind it. He got he got stuck getting run
the train on him. Double train 2.
Trains run on me so well. I was like, I left early.
That's. How you go finger cuffs and.
That's what the Mormons call it.Yes, same thing.
As long as the tips don't touch in the cuffs, it's fine.

(16:12):
Hey, whatever, that's that's just docking.
So no, I'll sit there and I leftearly enough.
I was like, I'll get a little gas, wash the truck and then
head out and I go down. I'm in the right lane as a train
comes. It's a four lane Rd. there.
And I'm like that shit happens. I'm still early.
No worries. It's one of the longest trains
ever. And I'm like, all right, well,

(16:32):
coming out of the alley where I was like fronted up to was it
comes this girl full of people, all young, younger, I should
say, young, this girl. Is full of people.
Yes, so many. People, we're talking about
trains and. She's in this little Chevy Aveo
that's packed. And then she pulls up and stops
and I'm like, OK, well, she's just waiting too.

(16:52):
Well, then she starts. They start all looking at me and
you can see him talking, then start edging up like they're
going to shoot out in front of me when the train leaves.
And I'm like, you don't understand how little I care
about my truck. Like I just drove through a
flood. Yes, last week.
You don't care how much how little I care about human life
in Aveo's. So the train's going well, then
I hear another one coming. I'm like, here we go.

(17:13):
Well, this one's all cold cars and it's moving a tenth to
speed. The other one.
I'm like I'm still early, nothing to worry about.
Well, other cars see the other one coming and the first trains
gone. The other one's still going
still and it's moving like pointmark O237 mile per hour.
So people start turning around, but I'm in the right lane so

(17:36):
I've got cars to the left of me.Well, the person in the front of
the right lane had enough room to turn around, so they did.
As soon as the car in front of me moved, she looked me, just
gunned it and I was like, well Iwould have let you out.
You don't have to be a bitch. Yeah, if you just said hey.
'Cause she almost hit me pullingout.
So I kind of honked my horn. Well, they all start turning
around and I see him talking andI'm like, whatever, you know,

(17:57):
it's it there. There are bigger problems in the
world. So I'm waiting, I'm waiting and
waiting. And then the train stops.
I'm like, so then it starts backing up and I'm like, they're
backing all the way up to the mill on the other side of town
to fill up like their remaining cars.
And I, I'm like, I got to get out of here.
Well, because her car was so small, I saw an opening in
between the rows of cars. So it's like a Jeep, a Silverado

(18:20):
and then two small cars and me. And I was like, after she shout
out to me, I pulled up next dooras close as I could get without
touching it. I mean, I had to be millimeters
from her mirror. And I just slowly drove by,
didn't even look at them, whipped it around and my truck's
a truck. So it's like not the greatest
turn radius, boom up on the curb, boom out of there and come

(18:41):
to find out the next block over,they were open.
So I just shot around. I look over and they're still
sitting there waiting. I would have, I would have come
around and be like Wave. There was no way.
And then I thought about it, butthere's no way for them to see
me because I came out on the other side of the train.
But yeah. I would have pulled around, just
waited for the train. I was like Brandon Marta, I'll

(19:01):
be there. I'll be there.
When I get there, I got to fuck with somebody like it's going to
be. Worth it.
I should have just pulled up in that lane and waited for the
train, so when it comes up I'm just sitting there.
Yeah, the just the train comes in just like just.
Have your just have your truck like you know, horizontal to the
road. Just walking lanes as.
Possible. Hey bitch, Remember Me?

(19:22):
But no, I was like whatever. So I just and then of course, I
had out here, everybody's going five mile under, but I, I took
it easy and. That's fine, You are worst.
Things in life, I was like, it'sa nice day, I'll just cruise.
Yeah, it was not, not, not terrible day.
I just got back from Delaware soI had to go.
What country is that in? Hey guys, we're in Delaware.

(19:45):
That's. Not even a real state.
The Wayne's World. Back in the day, they were
talking on, I don't know why this just popped in my memory,
but on Duck Dynasty they're talking about a nerdy Indiana
Jones. And it's like, who would be
nerdy Indiana Jones on the size like Delaware Jones?
They're like, why Delaware? He's like, Delaware's a nerdy
state, like size. You've never been to Delaware.
He goes Nope, Nope. No reason to go.

(20:08):
Either ever since the Delaware Jones has been stuck in my head.
No, so Harley needed she didn't need it was more of a an upgrade
to her push cart for golf. So she's got she had like a 2
wheel push cart and things you went.
To Delaware for a push cart for.30 bucks for a $200 push cart?

(20:29):
Fuck yeah, I did. You spent 200 bucks to go get a
$30 cart? Nope.
You ever been on Amazon? They don't they I you couldn't
have bought this cart for less. That's crazy.
For new it's like $240.00 so. What did you do, fly out there
and push it back? No, just drove up.
It's like a 33. It's only 33 miles away to high

(20:49):
banks. Delaware.
OH, I was thinking Delaware the state.
Hence why I said Delaware the nerdy state.
Wow. Yeah, there's another.
So we should start drinking now.Well, I have been.
I don't know why I have people that I know, people that live in
Delaware. Yeah, I don't know why you
thought that it was going to be anything other than you're.

(21:09):
Always trying. You went to DC for a bottle of
whiskey and then drove home the next day.
I just wouldn't put it past you.That Delaware is too far.
Plus, there's nothing. That was my thought.
I was like, he went like 1000 miles for a pushcart.
That's not. No, no, no, no.
Delaware. OH, it's.
Now do you see why I was like itcost you way more?
Now I see why. Yeah, no.

(21:29):
I'm the idiot, but now you understand.
Yeah, so for 30 bucks I couldn'tpass up and the dude just posted
it this morning on marketplace and I need I wanted her to have
a better pushcart because the like the one she has, it's this
2 wheel thing and it's fine likeif everything's flat, but the
minute you start walking up the hill, the front of it like

(21:50):
starts to digging into the, the the ground and you got to like
really push down on it or you got to drag it behind you.
And this I'm just like, fuck this thing.
It's. They're not bad, but they're
tiresome after a full round. It's just more hassle than it is
help. So, and I'm just like, you know
what she needs? She needs something that is not
going to cause her any like fatigue of just having to push

(22:11):
this fucking thing around. And this one's going to.
It rolls so smooth and I'm like,I'll just keep the other one and
I'll use it for myself when her and I go out.
There you go. So yeah, but Mike, he just
fucking moved to Utah. He's.
Waiting like I know I did, the screen freeze.
I just did it. Did I was like, yeah.

(22:37):
How was the the trip out there? So you said you were going to
take like 3 days to get there? Yeah, we did.
We did. Our first stop was in
Coralville, IA. Oh, and then, and then we.
Vacation destination, Yeah. And then we went to, we stopped
in Sidney, NE and it, it is not the middle of nowhere, but you

(23:01):
can see it from Sydney. It's just southeast.
Yeah, it's. Coming into Sydney, it's the
Grove City of nowhere, yeah. There there is a billboard that
says stop and eat in Sydney or go hungry.
Sydney Sweeney. She's got good genes.
Well, it is Kelly. There's definitely.

(23:22):
There's curves. I heard she has good genes.
There is not any curves. The the drive was Iowa, Nebraska
and it's just fucking flat. It's just like so you.
Went through the my. Cards Melissa's in her car with
the dog. So you guys weren't even
together. You're like, no, oh, that's a

(23:44):
little. I'll have to send I'll have to
send you a picture of my car. The the CRV was riding low.
Sell that alcohol. It's exactly what that was.
I I as soon as I got here. I just finished loading it up
today. I got a 5 by 5 climate
controlled storage pod storage unit and I just moved 12 cases

(24:09):
of booze into it. Goodness.
That's so much. And I got 2 still here at the
house. Think about how much you got rid
of two. Right now, he brought a case of
shit over here and I immediatelystuck it all in the fridge.
It's all over there in the wine.I took over Alyssa's wine
fridge. I'm like, she's like, what'd you
put in there? I'm like everything.
There's so much stuff. So yeah, the the first two days

(24:33):
were, it was a pretty uneventfultrip.
You know, it's just like, it's like it sucks because, you know,
we were on vacation and then we basically drove for four
straight days. Yeah.
So like, last night was the first time we like cooked.
So we've just been like eating out, not eating our own food,

(24:54):
which sucks, but like, it's fucking awesome out here.
You mean to tell me the food isn't spectacular in Sidney, IA?
No. The one greasy spoon, no.
No, it is not. Stop.

(25:14):
No, it's just like every fast food you can imagine and then a
couple you've never heard of. Awesome.
But we got in here like 5:30 Wednesday night and unloaded and
settled and Melissa ran out and got food and a couple groceries.
That's the worst part is after vacation though, is it like the

(25:36):
worst part is going home, right?The trip home is worth the.
Trip out, except you didn't havea home to go to.
Yeah, Then you get back here just to try four more days, and
then you finally land and you'relike, all right, well, we should
probably get a bed and some furniture inside.
Well, we're in an Airbnb, so it's fully furnished, but it's
small. It's super small.

(25:57):
I mean, there's, you know, kitchen.
Living room compared to what youhad?
Yeah, that's like 4/4 of my previous.
Houses. It's an apartment.
Yeah, it's basically what it is.Yeah, there's an office and a
bedroom. I'm going to I'm going to go by
your old house and introduce myself and by just walking

(26:19):
straight to the shed. Straight to the match.
Straight to the match. I'm just going to walk back and
be like, where's all my shit? What did you do with this place?
And just see what the reaction is that.
'D be awesome. Trespassing, breaking and
entering. I was about to say I don't.
I think they finally started moving in yesterday or Friday.

(26:39):
Perfect. Timing.
Yeah, it'll be perfect be. Like wait, my buddy, what?
What? You're not Mike.
It's yeah, it's fucking crazy here.
Fuck, are you? I mean.
You should Lancaster. That's the match.
I'm coming from Lancaster where you know if you want to eat
ethnic you have 4 choices, the Taco Bell and you know there's 4

(27:03):
Mexican restaurants 5. Yeah, Taco Bell.
Ever since Chichi's went out. And then Oxby's.
Yeah. Maria's and El Tropicana, OH in
the Greek place in the Mediterranean.
Place, yeah. And then there's the Mexican
place across from the Greek place.
Yeah. And then there's the New Mexican

(27:26):
place downtown. There's Ale House and.
Cherry Street. Yeah, Cherry Street, there's
it's, it's all the same. And so in a mile radius.
White Castle. Yeah, in a mile radius we have
more restaurants than we had in Lancaster.
Within walking distance. Yeah, damn near.

(27:46):
That's not a good thing in my opinion.
But I mean, I like restaurants, don't get me wrong now.
It's The Walking. The Walking distance, that's
there's no such thing. That's all driving distance.
Now that I found out I can get an elevator in my basement,
things are going to be changing at home so.
So I've I've already been transferred.
Yeah, that's what you'd said so and and so I well, hold on, hold

(28:09):
on. Let us let us let us make shit
up on how the what happens He's.Already acting like a Mormon.
I know. So Mike shows up at the store
and he's like, all right. So like, I'll be, you know,
assistant manager da da da da dafor the shift.
So here's how we're going to do some things.
And what I've noticed is things aren't really efficient here, so

(28:32):
we're going to bring to make some changes.
And why don't you guys so pop out here?
And two days later, so Mike, we're going to move you to
another store. I haven't worked yet.
All right, They later like, we got a new guy come in and, oh,
where's he from? Ohio.
They're like, no, no. Yeah.

(28:55):
Does he wear a white shirt and atie?
I, I went, I went and met with the captain of the store I was
supposed to go to who is from Ohio, from Kettering.
And he knows a bunch of people that I know because Trader Joe's
is a fucking. Super.
It's a family. You're still there.
You're good. We see you.

(29:15):
No, I know Melissa's texting me.Oh, say do not disturb.
Airplane mode. Airplane mode.
So we sit down and like we're two or three, no, OK, 5-10
minutes into the conversation hewas like, so I hate to bring
this up. I'm like, go ahead.

(29:37):
He's like then. Don't.
Oh, we're getting an echo from you.
What's that? I just got an echo of myself.
And now it's gone. And now it's gone.
OK, whatever Tell. Melissa to quit texting.
I so he's like, I hate to bring this up.
There is like maybe a 20% chanceyou might go to a different

(29:58):
store. How do you feel about that?
And I'm like, whatever, you know, wherever they need me, I'm
happy to go. He's like, you sure?
I'm like, yeah, it's not a big deal.
Well, let me tell you about the store 1st.
So we got a call from Columbus, OH, and yeah, they need.
So, so we're, you know, halfway through our conversation, about

(30:18):
1/2 hour in, he's like, he gets a call.
He's like, hold on, I got to return this call.
I'll be right back. So he he goes and talks and I
shoot a text. Melissa.
I was like, I might be getting transferred already.
And she's like, what? And I was like, we'll talk
later. And so he comes back.
He's like, OK, so maybe more than 20%.

(30:40):
Maybe like 100? Yeah, I'm like, all right.
Yeah. I'm like, he's like, it'd be the
downtown Salt Lake City store. And I'm like, yeah, whatever you
need. Like I've worked for Trader
Joe's long enough. I know shit happens.
You know, I'm happy to go wherever I'm needed.
He's like, I really appreciate that.
And so we, you know, continue our our talk and just mostly

(31:04):
we're just shooting the shit. Like we talked about work a
little bit, but so then like we kind of wrap up.
He was like, I got to make a couple calls.
I got to call the regional. I got to talk to the other
captain in the store you might go to, but I'll, I'll try and
have most of this wrapped up by today.
I'm like, cool, no problem. Just let me know.

(31:25):
So I'm home for maybe an hour and a half and I get a phone
call. He's like, Yep, Yep, we're going
to, we're going to need you downin the Salt Lake City downtown
store. You know, let me work out a few
more things and then, you know, I'll get back to you.
So I get a text this morning. He was like, hey, the reason I
want you to call him tomorrow just so he can catch up.

(31:49):
I'm like, cool, man, whatever. He was like, He was like, yeah,
yeah, you're going to be going down to the downtown Salt Lake
City store. I'm kind of bummed out because
after meeting and talking to you, I, I would have rather kept
you. I'm like, that's no problem,
man. You know, we'll bump into each

(32:09):
other again. So I got to call my regional
tomorrow and. He's going to meet.
With the regional, he's going tobe like you.
Ever heard of Cincinnati? Yeah.
How do you feel about Cincinnati?
Sounds like I could get kicked in the head.
Yeah, well, probably. So I, I presume part of it's
going to be like, hey, thanks for being so flexible and you

(32:30):
know, whatever. Here's more money.
Same thing I said when I met you.
Well, and that's that's the thing.
It's like, you know, Columbus isA2 store market, you know, with
maybe another one, you know on the horizon.
You know, in the course of my discussion with Doug, he's like
we got, you know, a couple more leases signed, there'll be four
more stores by 2027 and so. None of them near.

(32:55):
Lancaster No, no, all of them close, actually closer to where
I'm going to be living. He's like, so there's plenty of
opportunity here. So we'll see.
We'll see what happens with that.
Well, that could be good. Yeah, absolutely.
That's what I told him. I was like, look, I was in the
two store market with two stablecaptains for 10 years.

(33:16):
I just kind of went to work and did my best and you know, stayed
busy and but now like all of a sudden I have career aspirations
again. I.
Don't know what that's like, butI won't get into that here.
So Mike, Speaking of your, I've done some research for you about
Utah. OK.

(33:37):
And by research, I mean this popped up in my Facebook feed
and I was going to show you guysthe link, but I was like, Nah,
that's good for the podcast. So the Babylon Bee this week put
out 10 easy ways to get rid of Mormons on your porch.
So the article says, Ding Dong, it's those absurdly polite
cyclists bearing the Book of Mormon.

(33:58):
But you don't have time to chat with the well dressed young
fellas today. What to do?
The Babylon B has conducted extensive research to compile
the following list of 10 surefire ways to get those
friendly LDS people off your porch.
Number one, are you taking notes?
Yes, Sir, all. Right liar #1 douse yourself in

(34:19):
Coca-Cola and R rated movies before opening the door.
It's a time tested defense #2 here's.
The thing the soda thing is not true.
They. Don't sorry dad, don't crush our
vibe yo, I was supposed. To say I won't Yuck, you're Yum.
That that saying is weird. I've heard it but it's weird #2

(34:45):
say oh I'm already Mormon to Nephi am I right?
They will totally buy it #3 Explain a police officer is
about to drop by and ask if by chance you can borrow their name
tag. Always does the trick.
I got to run outside real quick because my neighbor wants to
borrow my trailer. OK, you keep going.
What's It's a trailer. Tell him to hook it up and take

(35:06):
it. Yeah, I don't.
Want to drive in always in my. Yard #4 Say, hey, look over
there, is that the Angel Maroneybearing some gold plates hot off
the presses? No Mormon can resist a fresh
batch of golden plates #5 Open the door, breathing into a paper
bag and explain how talking to strangers usually makes you pass

(35:28):
out and panic. For some of this, this is a
reality. OK, that one wasn't that funny.
This one I liked. Number six says tell them no
thanks, You already have kids named Braylon, Brayden,
Brayliana and Braeston. They will know you're one of
them #7 Offer them a nice cup offully caffeinated tea.

(35:48):
They'll flee in terror #8 #8 Askif you can put this baggie of
white powder in their backpacks for them to deliver to Big
Rodger down the street. Mostly works, but some of these
LDS boys will think you're just sending over a cup of sugar.
Sweet, innocent Mormons #9 just says release the bees and #10

(36:13):
says say, Oh dear your tie, let me help you tie a full Windsor.
Just turn around and hold still.Poor guys will be flying away as
fast as their bikes and carry them.
Choose any of these tricks listed above.
Your porch will be Mormon free before you can say bring them
young. So that's it.
I just had to save that because,you know, Utah.

(36:34):
Because it popped up, yeah. It popped up and I was like, Oh
well, that's convenient. I I went shopping the other day.
Oh geez, at Mormons R Us. Dude, they have big families.
There's some big families. I was like, I I don't know that
I've ever actually seen a familythat looks like the stick figure
sticker on the back of the knee van, but it was literally like

(36:58):
dad, mom and then all the way down the line the.
Little kids are holding the ropetogether so they don't get lost.
Dude, it was it's we went to themall yesterday and it was the
same thing. There was just like these
gaggles of like stain looking people.
There'd be like 3 teenage girls that look really the same and
then but it, it's that part's a little weird.

(37:23):
But I'm, I dig it because there's so much more stuff
because they have big families. There's like 8 fucking Costco's
here. We're going to the good Costco
this weekend, boys. Yeah, exactly.
Hook up two horses. We're going to need the pulling
power. I'm like, I'm like 8 minutes

(37:43):
away from an IKEA, which isn't like a, it isn't like a big
deal. But like, I mean, we got here
and we went to eat the first night and we pull open like we,
you know, trying to find where everything is.
And we pull open the silverware drawer and there is one fork and
then just like a pile of plasticcutlery.

(38:07):
Yeah. They're like you get in in the
little bag with the salt packet and then you know if you go to a
fancy take out place where they wrap it in the napkin and that's
all there is. And like 2 days later I realized
that the dishwasher has a like athird rack up top and I pull it
out and there's the rest of the silverware after I went out and

(38:28):
bought forts. You're like you're, you're
sitting out there like man. Apparently a Mormon family's
only daddy gets a fork. Rest.
You can't handle metal. Daddy eats and then Mommy eats
and. And afterwards we start our
baths. Daddy first, then mommy.

(38:48):
Share the bath water. We don't want to waste it.
Oh, it's disgusting. That's how it used to be though.
I mean, I heard that Mormons don't wipe their butts, so I've.
Never. No, they they fucking love soda
though. I.
Just made that up. Oh yeah, right.
Here, this is the crack. They they've got one of those

(39:10):
places up in Pickerington, Yeah.Like a dirty like a dirty soda
place. Yep.
Yeah. Interesting.
Or you can go make your own flavors.
Yeah, I, I, I got like a Peach passion.
Can I get pop flavored pop please?
Just Peach patch. Mine was mine was doctor pepper,

(39:30):
Peach, pineapple and coconut Creamer.
That sounds awful. It was so fucking good.
The. Guy likes my Lord, what am I
saying? I mean, I don't mind it either,
but that doesn't sound. You ever get a Mormon person to
try a shot of my Lord you'll go you have to video virus online.
You have to video. Yeah, you have to.

(39:52):
How would you like? The I haven't run into any that
I know of yet, like most of the traders.
You got to swerve. Yeah.
Run over the whole Dick. Family nimble on the bikes.
All trained by ladies. Armstrong out there.

(40:16):
Yeah, they all have one testicleand take steroids.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And fucked up a marriage to
Sheryl Crow. Yeah.
How do you? I don't know how you do that.
I mean, we could, we could run down a gamut of celebrities that
have had. Yeah.
Billy Joel. Christie Brinkley.
I know, but. Top of my list it's Rod Stewart

(40:36):
and Rachel Hunter. Sheryl Crow.
Yeah. She was so hot, was so hot.
You want some more? I mean, OK, I'll.
Give you some in. Case I have to drive through a
tornado on the way home or something.
Wait 5 minutes, it'll be a flood.
I have another. Flood.
Wow. Shit.
I should have checked the radar before coming out this week.

(40:56):
So. So how is it out there now?
So what is? Can you see a mountain?
Yeah. It doesn't matter where you're
at in Utah, you see a mountain. It's the same mountain.
It's. Just a bowl.
It's in a bowl surrounded by mountains.
Like every time. And no matter where I look, I
see a mountain which is in like we were at a dog.

(41:18):
We took Ruby to a dog park todayand they're just fucking
mountains in the background. Yeah, I, I do.
When I was out in Salt Lake, it's been 8 or 9 years ago now,
when I was out for a work trip, I did enjoy my time out there.
It was nice, like everything. I stayed downtown and everywhere
I went was in within walking distance.
Like I went to a CrossFit gym that was in walking distance.

(41:40):
I went to. We went to like a couple BBQ
places. They were all within walking
distance. The Convention Center was within
walking distance you. Could say that about any big
city. No, because in Columbus it's not
like that. You can't stay.
My friend lived in Columbus for eight years without a car.
Yeah, well. Grocery stores, restaurants,

(42:01):
gyms. But if you're trying to get to,
no. Mountains, but.
So if you're staying on this like I'm not, I'm, I'm going to
say South side of High Street downtown, like close down by the
courthouse. I'm not going to fucking walk to
the short north. Well, no.
He lived up it like he lived in downtown.
But that is. Like.
That is within downtown. He lived by Nationwide.

(42:23):
He had a condom. So he's right in the middle of
downtown. That's different.
This was like. I'm saying it is.
Different all of downtown. Like if you're in German city,
you're not walking up to. No, but that's what I'm saying.
Like in Salt Lake, it doesn't matter where you're at.
Everything is accessible. Walking.
You can get from one side to theother in 10 or 15 minutes

(42:44):
walking, as opposed to Columbus where everything is, is super
elongated, like Columbus is long.
It's not. Yeah, it is.
It's not well. Yeah, Columbus and and the the
suburbs sprawl and patches. They do.
Well, they grew in patches because it was like, OK, this
farmer sold land. This farmer sold land.
Yeah. It's kind of a yeah.

(43:04):
Yeah. Salt Lake City actually just
kind of grows out, so you never really leave access to anything.
Yeah, like you drive down 33 andyou're like, well, Yep, you're
passing a lot of like unused land.
Well, it's used for farms. Yeah, yeah.
I would I would consider the some of the like I we're driving

(43:27):
up 23 today past high banks. I'm like, holy shit, this is all
fucking worthless stuff they putin.
It's it's all fucking apartment buildings.
Like apartment complex next to aapartment complex next to a
apartment complex, small shopping center, another
apartment complex. Yeah, and you and 23 is fucking

(43:49):
backed up for no reason. Whatsoever, they've still got 2
and some 4 lane roads from when it was farm filled times.
Well, like 7 trying to it's it'sSunday going getting on from 23
to 270. That's a pain up north.
It was backed up. I'm like, it's fucking Sunday,
why are you people? Dying.
Why is it so? Fucking Backed up.

(44:09):
Columbus grew W 1st and then in more recent years I say recent
10 to 20 started slowly going north and then went boom and it
like pow once Polaris hit. Like Powell was like a decent
little suburb back in the day. I mean, Dublin was you.
Got Easton and then Polaris and now at the Sunbury.
My buddy Matt, same time Mike moved Matt heads from Sunbury

(44:32):
where he's like, I can't get anywhere.
Everything's two lane farm roads.
But we have a mass influx of people and they're building more
houses. So he was like, screw it.
So he just moved out there just outside Springfield, and he's
like, dude, there's like everything.
There's nothing here. And you nothing to do.
Yeah, because Springfield sucks and.
Then he sent me a picture of Whataburger.

(44:54):
Dude, he. Said it was a great burger.
I had there's so many fucking places I've never heard of
before. Like there's an in and out here.
I've never had in and out. So I.
Think I had it in Vegas. It's.
Not called in and out. It's called soaking.
Yeah, I was laying still. I would have fed.

(45:16):
Just happens to be the parking lot just happens to be bouncing.
Can I get a soaking burger? Just about.
That's just. Wet bun.
Wet buns. Fresh for Monday Cheese, Sir.
Sir, this is White Castle. Yes, I know.
Can you pull it out of the steamer?
Yeah. Oh, anyway, yeah.
So we've already had like Thai twice in Indian once.

(45:39):
Because. We can.
Yeah, well. We don't.
We don't have to drive 40 minutes to go get it right.
There's a. Food Friday.
Whoop to do. I'll have to look and see if the
BBQ joints still there that I went to.
I don't remember the name of it,but I kind of remember where it
was. I just have to look to see there
were. Like BBQ places on a map, no.
I'll look at the hotel I was at and then I can figure out

(46:00):
because it was three blocks fromthe hotel.
There you go. So I just need to look at the
hotel and then see if the barbecue joint's still there.
I'll tell you what, the bar, it was really good.
We went there. We were in Salt Lake for five
days and I think we went there three times.
Me and my coworker, we just fucking walk down there and just
get barbecued. And then found out that the

(46:20):
people that own the barbecue joint, we're also going to the
same CrossFit gym that I was going to.
So then I'd walk in and like, hey, And they start slapping
fucking ribs and shit on a plate.
And Evan looks at me. He's like, what the fuck?
I'm like, Oh yeah, work out withthese people.
So you don't know them. I'm like, I don't know them.
Was it the gym with them? No, I've never ever heard
anybody talk about Utah BBQ. It's like you hear like Texas

(46:43):
BBQ. Oh, it wasn't.
It wasn't Utah BBQ. It was.
Utah great BBQ. It was just a good BBQ.
I know I get it, but it's just I've never heard anybody say.
Is. I don't even think Utah BBQ is a
thing. It's.
Not that's my well, you don't know.
That it could be a thing, but not here.
There's probably a reason it wouldn't be a thing.
What? Was that Mike?
They have a shit load of burger places.

(47:04):
Here, Oh, I'm sure see, they gotto be like the most like
unhealthy skinny people on the planet.
All they do is fucking eat burgers and soda and like dirty
sodas and then ride bicycles everywhere.
Yeah, like that's. But in Ohio you can drink no pop
and eat moderately healthy and be huge.

(47:26):
But you don't got to work out. Yeah.
And sitting on the toilet doesn't count as a squat.
No, standing up off the toilet does.
Well, the squat is from from from the hips below the crease
to standing up. That's a full squat.
It's not just the down part I. Have a short toilet?
Oh. If you got one of those, yeah,
you got a low rider toilet, you can make that happen.
If it's not a squat then why do they have a thing called the

(47:47):
Squatty Potty boom? Because it's just a catchy name.
Squatty. It rhymes.
Fine, it's not a squat, it's a squatty.
Whatever you should do more of them like 1000 a day you should.
Take way more shit. You should.
You should just do more squats aday instead of just being.

(48:11):
Instead of existing. I mean.
We've been working our asses offaround the house last few days.
We moved bedrooms again, set up my office.
That was fun because the desk did not want to go in the
doorway. Rearrange the living room.
I could have got the desk through the doorway.
Give me a change. Off reciprocating lighter

(48:34):
electric, no fumes. You need the fumes, Yeah, that's
what you do when you have the fumes be like.
Got kennel golf It's. Fine, it's fine.
We rearrange the living room. Need to clear out the breezeway
tonight because best foot surgery.

(48:56):
But she haven't cut off. Yeah, it's time.
She's tired of having to. Yeah, makes sense.
So we're trying to just make it so she can get her in the house
easier. Fuck that.
No, because then I have to hear about it or deal with it.
I. Mean it's an obstacle.
Learn to adapt and overcome. She got a scooter.

(49:17):
I told her I was going to put ramps in different places and
move them every day. She's getting one of those like
knee scooter things like, yeah, there's some X Games up in this
house, do a kick flip. It's going to be Judd and Huck,
not you and Beth. Obstacle Judd will.
Sit on it like, yeah, he would, man.

(49:38):
He tried to take it down the steps or something.
I mean, whatever, That's naturalselection.
Yeah, I. Was going to say that's that's
how we got head trauma and endedup the way we are.
I mean, that's but like, oh, I'mgoing to use this piece of
cardboard, make a ramp with two bricks and it folds in half.
The minute your front wheel hitsit, you go over the fucking, you

(49:58):
go over the handlebars. I just saw a video of like a kid
who was going to Ding Dong ditcha woman.
Yes. Yes.
Yes. Answered the door.
She's like your dad. Yeah, he's over there.
He's. He said that it.
It's a core childhood memory, and he wants to.
Be part of it. Your dad.
Your dad is Ding Dong ditching with you.
Yeah, he said it creates core memories and he wants to be a

(50:20):
part of it. What are you doing?
I got caught. Run.
Yeah. No.
If you. Want to see that clip?
We won't put it up on any of oursocial media.
You're welcome. Oh.
Shit, that was funny as hell. No, I'm done.
I'm going to take over. That sorry I've been busy.

(50:43):
Yeah, you only took it over six months ago.
You've been real busy the last couple months, Yeah.
Kinda. So we, we yesterday we, we just,
we didn't do anything. What's that like?
Fucking yeah, it was fucking awesome.
I had a wedding to go to yesterday.

(51:05):
We worked around the house all day yesterday.
Sean got married. Good for sure.
Yeah, good. Yeah, him and Julie tied the
knot yesterday. Julie.
And he goes. He is.
So he asked me. He only invited like 2 friends
to the wedding. Like it's super small.
The the the ceremony was less than 8 minutes from beginning to

(51:29):
end. So like he walked, they walked
through the door from the time they walked through the door to
the time that the ordained gentleman, because he wasn't a
pastor of prison, just an ordained guy.
From the time that they walked through the door to the time
that he finished was 8 minutes. And I almost missed the the
rings and the kiss because I walked outside to try to shoot

(51:52):
through the way that the setup was there was AI was in front of
them as they came down the aisletaking photos because I took
photos at the wedding. And yes.
We we gathered. That I slipped out a side door
and then came back around behind.
So I didn't like interrupt anything other than the door
going as it closed. And I was like fuck, that's

(52:17):
loud. So then I went back out to try
to shoot through that window andcouldn't, didn't realize there
was a mirror film. I couldn't see shit in you.
Should have submitted anyways, just a picture of you.
No, it was just like, it was just like a picture.
It was like my lens and I'm like, fuck this.
So I ran back in and they were doing their vows and I'm like OK
good. But I had like damn, they're

(52:38):
missing because their vows were like yadda yadda yadda yadda
done our. Wedding was like that by Beth's
request. Like there was a song walking
down the aisle. The guys were already there.
We just walked out. The bridesmaids came down
because we got married at Alley Park at that covered bridge.
So there's really no traditionalway to.
So it's like guys are there or they came out with the women,

(53:00):
whatever. There's a song as Beth walks
down and my grandpa's doing it and it was, he read like one
scripture piece. I was like 3 verses and he was
like do you, Yep, do you Yep, ring ring.
Kiss done. Kiss done and we were like all
right, let's see that's. We got married in Irish pub and

(53:21):
it was under probably under 6 minutes.
I, I had my buddy ordained and got him registered in Ohio.
So he, he did the ceremony and we were drinking within, you
know, like 8 minutes of, of saying I do, yeah.
That was that was like that. It was perfect.

(53:42):
Like what the way that Sean had it set up and Sean like they
walked out and I walked out withthem to just because we went out
and did photos out in the courtyard and.
Oh we did our photos before too because the worst part about
going to the wedding is waiting 4 hours before you can eat
because you're all sitting. Nope, they didn't even do that.
The they started serving food while we were out doing photos.

(54:02):
They were like fuck it. Well.
That's what we did our photos before, but not with Beth and I
together. Yeah.
So we sent everybody to go eat while Beth and I did ours.
Then when we were done, they announced us.
But like, people were eating them.
Like don't make them wait. Yeah, that's basically what they
did. Like it was they announced that
the bar it was open bar up and it was up until a certain amount
and then they were going to start serving food.

(54:22):
They started like with an appetizer and then they start
bringing out stuff like hot foodand then.
Yeah, ours, ours got a little messy because it was so short
and we were in an Irish pub and so we bought a keg of Guinness

(54:43):
so we could drink it until it ran out.
And then it was an open bar to acertain point again.
Melissa's grandfather had eight or nine martinis and started
hitting on my cousin. Yes.
Awesome. Yeah.
So it was it was a good time, though.
Like I drank. I basically drank a bottle of

(55:05):
Woodford by myself because so Sean was like, well, I want he's
like, you know, I want, I don't,I don't want just I'm not going
to feed my friends like shitty whiskey.
Like I don't want just Jack Daniels, like have Jack Daniels,
but whatever you consider your top shelf, like have some of
that too. And they're like, OK.
And he's like same thing with beer.

(55:25):
Like not everybody's going to want an IPA.
Not everybody's going to want like Bud Lights or, or Michelob
Ultra lights. So like bring it all out,
whatever, no big deal. But I drank, I think I drank the
entire, almost an entire bottle of Woodford by myself.
Like I go up, I went up and I'd like it was, it was already
open. Can't wait to see those

(55:46):
pictures. I mean, I was nowhere near even
trashed after leaving that, but like I I'd go up.
I'm like, is anybody else drinking this?
And he's like just you and I went give me another one.
He's. Like, well, give me the bottle.
He goes, you want it neat. I'm like, absolutely.
And he'd be like, just tell me when?

(56:07):
And I just stand there and look at him.
He'd be like, all right when he'd fill it up like 3-4
fingers. And then you should, you should
say when he's poured like a finger or two and then grabbed
the bottle. I was just like, I was like.
Whatever. And then Sean at one point he's
like he went and got 4/4 pours out of it, but the guy did not
pour nearly as much in those as he was born in mine.

(56:27):
I'm like, I got to make sure I tip this guy before I leave
because he just keeps like and I'm standing up there and there
was probably 2 pores left in thebottle.
And Sean goes, hey, do you thinkhe's he's got like maybe 2 pores
left? And I look at that and I looked
at the bottle and went one John goes what I'm like.
Depends on who's asking. I said that's like one pour.

(56:50):
He's like, do you think he should go grab another bottle?
And I'm like, no, no, that's just dangerous.
No, don't go get another bottle like.
They're just. Cash the bottle and be done the.
Younger inner child wants to sayyes but.
He was like he doesn't mind going to get another one.
I'm like don't go get another one.
I'm the only one drinking the shit.

(57:12):
He said why I just got 4 glasses.
I'm like I know, but I'm the only one drinking it.
Like the four glasses you got was one for you and three other
guys that are they were like Julie's family.
I said they're like three other guys and they're not whiskey
drinkers. Like the the one guy took a
drink. He goes that's fucking oh,
that's hot. And I'm like, that's hot.

(57:33):
I said it's just Woodford. It's just plain old Woodford.
It's like 90 proof. I'm like, this is water.
He's like, wait, he's like what?I'm like I got shit that'll put
hair on your tramp stamp. Yeah.
And he's like, huh. I said I got bottles at home,
but are 144 and like one 30s. I said, 'cause I don't drink
anything less typically than 120.

(57:54):
He's like, Oh my God. He's like how I'm like, yeah.
I'm I'm drinking, I'm drinking the the Wilderness trail, yeah.
And that's, you know, 56%, yeah,it's 100 and 112 proof.
I. Will say we've gotten to the
point now where when we blind test we're like, oh, that's kind
of light octane, it's 100. Proof feels feels like.
We're like, I can tell. You that's bottled and bond.

(58:16):
OK, that's about 100. It usually is, but.
I may have to go through like a pallet reset and like start
going back to just like low proof shit like 80 and 90 proof
stuff just to because it's to the point where I can't like if
it's anything below say like 115, I'm like, oh, that's that's
90. Yeah, that's 80 and I'm way off.

(58:36):
Because it's like, that's 104. Well, I mean this the two souls.
So we're, we, we, we revisited the the two soul spirits double
barreled pumpernickel rye from middle W spirit and it's 126.7.
And it's, I mean, it's fucking fantastic.

(58:57):
What is it? It's 126.70 OK 63.3. 146 and I
was like there's. No way.
Yeah, 1126.7 it's 63.6 or 63.3 is what it's in to Infinity.
And beyond 6. But this is by far like one of

(59:18):
my favorites. I took this the other night and
I mixed it with my Arnold barrelpour.
Oh. Yeah, OK.
And, and I'm sure it wouldn't matter if it's the OHLQ
Pumpernickel rye cash strength. So before they started doing it
just as a regular release, I mixed the three one to one.
Holy shit was it so good. I'm not going to do it today

(59:41):
because, well, I don't have a whole lot of my Arnold barrel
left, so. You got to be getting low on.
That I'm getting super low on itso I'm starting to but I'm going
to have to drink it but my neighbor is like I really want
to try it. $100 a pour. I'm like, we will do that, but
this is no like this is a a no longer bottle.
Like you can't get this anymore,but it's.

(01:00:03):
Excellent. It's excellent like it's it's a
higher proof than the cast strength that middle W puts out
like 'cause I think there's onlylike 120 ish.
Maybe you have one why I have the OHL Q1, but I think they're
they're run-of-the-mill standardstuff.
Is is more around the one. I want to say it's like 1.

(01:00:30):
It may even be 125. I thought it was like 1/22,
1:20. 3124.6. Yeah, so I have the the Bourbon
Hunters one that I've only got. Oh yeah, just a tiny little bit
left. It's it's bad when you call that
a tiny little bit that's 1/4 of the bottle.
No, that's. That's that's the, that's the
bourbon, though. That's not the rye, right?

(01:00:51):
No, it's not the rye, but then that's 125.1.
And now it's just me as both go back to get more liquor to look
at. That's two squats this show, by
the way. Wrong so yeah this is 122.8 this
is the OHLQ barrel select that middle W did give me your we

(01:01:15):
might as well just do a a quick mix no don't finish it just.
I I didn't know you were going to say mix.
I caught myself. So do glug glug, glug glug.
That's approximately 2 to 2 1/2 glugs if you're watching and
want to try this. Glug glug glug glug.

(01:01:40):
So it's like 1 to 1.87 glugs mixture.
It's about an ounce to an ounce and 1/4 per four of the the
middle W Cash, Frank. Mike, what got up when you did
that? He's like challenge accepted.
He's everywhere. Mixing ever clear, my Lord?

(01:02:02):
I mean. Oh, don't.
Oh. My God.
All of us. Our insides will implode.
Maybe that shots that shots called.
Sorry about your life. Yeah, that's called.
I moved to. I moved to Utah.
I moved to Utah and all I got was this lousy drink.

(01:02:24):
That smells so good. So it's it's about 1 1/4 oz each
of but you you're never going toget the two souls.
Don't worry about it. So you can't replicate this in
any way, shape or form unless they do another like pic of this
stuff, which they haven't. And a lot of the stuff that two

(01:02:44):
souls have been putting out. I haven't been a fan of.
Like I I get their emails and follow-ups and Mike's pause.
There we go. But.
We got you. OK.
Yeah. Yeah, you're back.
But God damn it, this is Mike you.
You're missing out, bud. Sorry.
I I'm sure. It's.

(01:03:05):
Like I've I've, I've done well. I haven't gone to a liquor store
yet. You need to go check out the
liquor stores to see where you're going to.
Be buying shit from. It's like.
So I mixed the three of these and Liz, like just picked the
glass up and she's like, what isthat?
I'm like it's all middle. West with the Arnold.
With the Arnold, yeah, 'cause they're all rise, right?
It's I said it's a 3 where I blend.
Right. Right, I said it's a 3 where I

(01:03:28):
blend from and it's all Middle West and it's all different
shit. Like it's 2120 twos and 1/1/26
and it's it's very sweet. It's not like it, but it
finishes peppery. I will.
Say when you mixed them, it got sweeter, but you'd definitely
still get that rye. Yeah, pop to it.

(01:03:49):
Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's so good, Mike.
I wish you were here. God.
Mike. Probably the best thing we've
ever It's fucking. Orgasmic.
Oh, oh, oh. It's like that scene from When
Harry Met Sally. I'll.
Have. I'll have.
Yeah. I was thinking more about the
space. OOO, I'm.

(01:04:11):
Not sure on my old face. Give it right on the boner,
coaster. Now a lumbar fucked her.
What? Maybe you should have thought it
out for you. Fuck lumbar.
Such a great movie. It's underrated.
It's my life A. 100%. No your your life's rated

(01:04:31):
appropriately. Oh no, my life, but.
Oh, you mean all the spaces you're like?
Yeah, yeah, so do. Not steal this man's red
Swingline stapler. Yeah, that would be a mistake.
You're like a mix between that and the guy from Falling down.
You're mil, half mil and half falling down.
I forget his character name. It's Michael Douglas.

(01:04:51):
All he wanted was some breakfastman.
He just. I know it's Michael Douglas.
Yeah, I need to watch that. Again, I've seen that in Forever
31. Well, I started seeing all these
memes about it like six months ago, 8 months ago.
And I was like, I don't know if I've ever seen that movie.
So I watched it. I was like, Oh yeah, I used to.
Watch it when it it for whateverreason in.

(01:05:14):
I think I came out in 80. No, it was a 90s movie I
thought. Was it?
I thought it was like. It's definitely nice because I
saw I thought it. Was like 8889.
I've seen shit come out. I've seen shit on a 90s page
that came out in like 8880. 9 falling down was 19930. 93 OK,
so it used but for a while. I was.

(01:05:35):
Ten. I was 13 but it was on HBO all
the time and we had stolen cableso.
I would watch it Makeup kit. I would watch that movie every
time it was on. So when I was packing up the Mac
shack. That's funny, dude.
That's I got it. I went out and got a tackle box
for all my bitters and shit. No, that's the way to do it.

(01:05:58):
It's awesome. I was like, I don't want to send
this all the way to the house, Iwant to bring this with me.
Yeah, that's a carry on. I'm like, how am I going to
fucking organize all this? I would throw it in like a
Walmart bag. That's the shit like you, you,
you put that in your like your backpack as a carry on for a
flight and then you order they're whiskey and then you

(01:06:19):
make yourself a cocktail. And.
They're like, what the fuck are you like it's, it's fine.
It's just bitterness. There's nothing alcoholic in
this. I'm just making an old
fashioned. It won't blow up.
I might blow up your bathroom uphere.
But yeah, this. So I just wanted to revisit the

(01:06:39):
two souls and then that kind of because I had them sitting, I
had it sitting out the other dayand I'm like, you know what?
Let's just wait. It's it's been a, it's been a
minute since we had this. Now the other Two Souls bottle
is still relatively half full because I don't like cornflakes
and it is straight for whiskey. Yeah, it was very corny.

(01:07:00):
So I have I have a section now in the void back here where it's
3 bottles that are nothing but corn whiskey and that is it.
Field of Dreams. Field of Dreams in the Rush
Creek 2 Soul Spirits, barrel pick or whatever they want to
call that. You know, we haven't talked

(01:07:20):
about a lot. No.
Sorry, spot my head. So I'm totally shifting gears.
So the WNBA whole thing with thepay us what you owe us.
Oh. Yeah.
Which on my my meme newspaper thing I do whenever I want to,
so like once a month. So the pay us what you did a.
Did you did you see that link that I sent to you guys?
I don't know. I've made an article, a

(01:07:41):
satirical article about they're doing a GoFundMe to pay for the
T-shirts and say pay us what youowe us 'cause they couldn't
afford to pay for them pay us for.
Them, they owe the they owe 2. 117,000 per player is what they
would owe. Yeah, they owe money.
If they each took an equal sharein the 40, whatever million
lost. Like the the WNBA is getting

(01:08:02):
very it's only getting watchable.
Because Caitlin Clark. No, because of all the shit
that's going on on the back end and on the backside of the the
watching the WNBA is, that's not.
No one watches WNBA. Everybody's watching everything
way up. I know, I know.
It's up to like 24 people. Shut the fuck up.

(01:08:22):
It's not it's not the games thatpeople are watching for.
It's all the shit that's happening on the, the, the side
on the side of the court where people are getting into fucking
fights. And like Caitlin Kark went after
a goddamn ref for some. I don't I, I don't want to say
it's a a bullshit call, but she went after a ref.

(01:08:44):
But there's like been fights on the on court side.
There's been all kinds of other shit.
Like just turn that into a fucking like reality TV show,
Like get Netflix in there to do what they do with the golf show
in in the in the F in the F1 stuff where it's just they're
seeing like behind the scenes. Just do that.

(01:09:04):
I don't give a shit about the girls.
Playing. It's like people watching NASCAR
that are only watching because Cleveland, McFarland, they just
want to see what he's going to do and say.
Yeah, but but but he even start but he's he's different though,
like no. But I'm saying that's the only
reason to watch it is because ofthat guy, right?
You're right, there's another reason to watch.
It's not because of the sport. I mean Caitlin.
I never watched NASCAR because of the sport, no.

(01:09:26):
Of NASCAR. Like the only reason I would
watch. I would only ever watch Caitlin
Clark play against Angel Reese only because of the fighting and
the fact that Angel Reese can't fucking hit a layup, let alone
let alone a fucking. 3 pointer. She actually airballed 4 layups.
And one, she is a fucking bricklayer.

(01:09:48):
And I just saw, I just saw something the other day Hold.
On don't don't step on my story.Was it?
Is it about her Nike shoes or her Reebok?
Shoes. Not that, but you can go with
that part. OK, so I know what you're
talking about. It was a meme that was like
Caitlin Clark's new Reebok shoeshave steel toes because you're
because OSHA has issued her as abricklayer.

(01:10:08):
So no, my thing was a week afterthe pay us what you owe us
roughly, Gatorade says we're going to pump some money into
this league. We're going to back them let her
cook. They put up huge billboards
outside of arenas, put on towelsand not what you can't tell me
there was a one woman in Gatorade's organization went,
hey guys, do you understand what's going to happen with

(01:10:31):
this? What?
Her cook means. Like like I I get when guys
stove in the. Background.
Let him cook or he's cooked. You know, I get what they were
going for, but that was a mess. Well, then a couple weeks ago,
as we record, or a week and a half ago, somebody threw a dildo
on the court. So now, now it's happened again.

(01:10:54):
And I just got a tweet somebody sent to me of Sophie Cunningham,
also good player for WNBA, said stop throwing dildos on the
court. You're going to hurt one of us.
And somebody replied, stop playing basketball in the dildo
range. So I saw.
Like it's so hard to take him seriously.

(01:11:15):
Was like, like, I get it. My my cousin was a fantastic
high school female player and she was like, I'm done in high
school because like, even if I play in college, what next?
Like she goes, my life's not going to be basketball.
She knew back then and she was one of the best in the state in
high school in her time and and she just like no desire after

(01:11:36):
high school. So what I think is funny and.
I'm not saying that they're moreathletic than me, obviously
right now. Well, not my prime, but but.
How much you got left of that? Bring it over, I.
Like a spit, like a glug there. You go what I think is the the
dude that does KFC barstool was talking about the dildo thing.

(01:12:01):
He goes the only thing it would have made the dildo being thrown
out on the court better is if ithad a suction cup on it.
And when it hit the court, it went it went I was like, Oh my
God, that would have been so like that was my first thought.
And then he said it and I'm like, yes.
I'm waiting for the next dildo copter.

(01:12:21):
Oh, it's going to be you. Know somebody thought of it?
I know it's going to be out there on the floor too.
All right, So I just said fuck it.
I went and grabbed the Arnold mix too.
Sorry, Mike. And I actually I, I ended up
filtering this because it had somuch well, it had so much char
in the bottom of it that it was ruining that.

(01:12:43):
Like you were just you were chewing on it When I when I
would have a glass, It's just like the the liquor was black,
wasn't even brown. It was literally fucking black
from all the char. So I filtered it and it made it.
It cleaned it up and made it better.
But so now I poured some in yours about equal parts to what

(01:13:03):
you had in there. And this is something just for
any new new new listeners that come in any.
Nudie listeners. Nudie listeners, this is AI.
Literally I literally barreled this myself like or bottled this
myself out of a barrel. So middle W donated some barrels

(01:13:25):
a few years ago to the Arnold affiliate gathering which is no
longer a thing right now and they still had liquid in the
barrels. So I went ahead and grabbed I
think 8 bottles and. Said don't mind if I do.
And drilled holes in the barrelsand poured the liquor out of it

(01:13:46):
into the barrels and made sure that I got single barrels.
So this is it's not a blend bothof them.
Tell tell the behind the scenes story.
I'm I'm getting there, not the. One I'm thinking of, you're not.
Which one? Well, you did add to each barrel
you mistook mistook the bungholefor a glory hole and.
Next thing you. Know nobody else wanted to touch

(01:14:06):
it? No, I didn't do that spicy, but.
It's salty. It's got a little fermenta
cheese in it, smegma, little smegma.
But ended up making sure that I got 2 bottles that were straight
single barrels and a couple of the barrels ended up getting
blended but got myself because I'm the one doing the fucking

(01:14:29):
work. Put it in a Blanton's bottle
that I had that was empty but ended up putting up Patron cork.
So if you have a Blanton's bottle, you want to use it as a
decanter but you don't want to use the horsey top, go buy a
bottle of Patron. It's perfect and it looks good.
And then you can write Blanton'sit with AZ on it.

(01:14:50):
With AZ. With AZ, that way you know it's
counterfeit because you were putting S it's copyright.
Yeah, I was about to say not notthe blue painters tape, it's the
Z. It's the Z, Yeah, it's.
Yeah, so, but with that. So my neighbor sent me a text
the other day and he's like, hey, I'm selling all my bourbon.

(01:15:10):
All of it. Oh, that's that.
We talked about that last week briefly.
Yeah. So I'm like, all right.
So he sends me a list. I took his list, kind of
reconfigured a little bit, made sure that everything, you know,
checked a couple of the price oneverything is it's all secondary
pricing. And I was up front with him like
I'm not buying any of this because it's all secondary.

(01:15:32):
It's all secondary. Like I won't spend secondary on
stuff when I know that like I can get things for this, that or
the other. So, but I did buy one thing.
So I take that back after the after the show that we did.
I did buy one thing. I did buy a bottle of Blanton's.
It's a bottle of Blanton's red. So it's Japanese only.

(01:15:54):
It's the Takaki Taki Taka. I don't whatever the fuck it is,
It's it's fucking Japanese, but I bought a bottle.
It's right here. Yes.
It is a mini bottle of Blanton'sRed, which is harder to find
than your run-of-the-mill Just mini Blanton's bottle.

(01:16:16):
Yeah. Because that one fits up your
butt. Childless Mormon.
Yes, well, I have back here, I Ihave empty Blanton's bottles,
like mini bottles that I bought for $5 just to throw them in the
in the in the bar area. But this one is the Blanton's
red and I'm like, so Sean has a bottle of the mini blands.
He's like, dude, you can fuckinghave it.

(01:16:37):
I'm like, no, I'm not asking because I want it.
I wanted to see if it was the same, like make sure it's like
see if it was like, did you havejust the regular?
He's like, no, I think it's justthe regular blands.
So I bought this for 30 bucks for decoration in my bar.
I. Mean that's not bad for us.
It's not terrible for for something that and it's not your

(01:17:01):
normal. Ironically, that's what a full
bottle of Bland's is worth, right?
Yeah, so but I'll never like, it's one of those things I'll
probably never open or if I'm dying, I'm like, go get me the
Bland's red and then just chug it and die the.
One little shot. Yeah, done.
Like he he went out on top so. What if it's the worst thing you

(01:17:21):
ever tasted? It could be.
You're like, I'm dying. You take it.
You're just like. That's what that's what kills
me. It's like, it's awful.
Tastes like soy sauce. Old bottle of soy.
Tastes like snake venom. Snake venom.
Don't. Don't church it up.

(01:17:43):
Snake venom was not good. It was it was.
It was about as good as that brew dog.
Like 1.5 oz bottle. Like, yeah, yeah, yes.
It was. Fine, France on.
Speaking of 90s snake venom, wasthat 90s Chinese restaurant
where that sauces with no labels?
Yeah. And your friends like I dare you
to spoon and then you have no clue what you have.

(01:18:04):
No idea what the fuck it is. Spite like nothing.
Well, that happened yesterday too, at the wedding.
Awesome. There was there was a bowl.
So they had like, oh, no, they well, they had pita bread.
All right. They had pita bread and they had
this is. Already better than I thought it
was. Good.
No, no, no. It's it's.
Oh, you didn't mention pita bread.

(01:18:25):
There was Mystery Bowl. There was pita bread, but then
there was there was hummuses. So there was like a red pepper
hummus and there's a normal hummus and there was tiziki and
there was a bowl of Peppers. Just Peppers.
Just it, it looked like someone had chopped up like maybe some
some cherry Peppers and some some pepper rings and there was
peppercinis in it it. Came out of that like those

(01:18:47):
bottles you sit on top of everybody's cabinets in the
early 2000s. Yeah, Yeah.
So it was nobody knows what not,not, not Chili Peppers, like
like cherry Peppers, like they're, they're, you know, you
know, 2 inch in diameter and youchop them up and it, it, it
looked like a really good relish.
So I took some of that. I put some of the some of the
tzatziki on a, on a piece of pita bread.

(01:19:08):
I threw the, the relish on there.
Why grab the peppercini? Peppercinis aren't spicy, but
they are. They're they're fucking sour
shit, they'll say. They're like they hit, but
they're not. They're sour, yeah.
They're. Yeah, they'll make your lips and
your butt hole pucker when you eat one, especially if it's full
of juice. I was going.
To say especially if you pullingup your butt at the same.

(01:19:29):
Time Well, that's just weird, but if they're full of juice,
like they'll just like everything you just so I had
like I had a peppercini from like the just the top of this
tray, just a normal peppercini ate it.
It was full of juice, like the shit.
It was like a fucking porn star,like getting fucking anal
blasted. She just squirted everywhere,

(01:19:51):
all over the fucking table. So like, all right, you know,
whatever. And like everybody sitting there
is looking at me and I'm just like, what are you going to do?
So I cleaned that up. So then I go back and I get the
zeki with the the relish and I grab a peppercini out of that
bowl. First thing I do is eat the
fucking peppercini. What a God damn mistake that
was. That was the hottest fucking

(01:20:14):
pepper I've ever had. Not only was it hot, it was
sour. So it was like having a sour
patch kid that was like rolled in fucking habanero dust.
So like, oh so like I immediately walked out of the
little reception area where the end to where they had water was
like, fuck. Then it started like just

(01:20:36):
pouring water. And I look over and Sean's mom
is standing there and she's holding a glass of bourbon like
this, like she's got in her hands like a little like, like
holding it like a prayer. And she's just standing there
and I'm just like, I'm guzzling water out of this fucking
machine. I'm like, what are you doing?
She's like, I'm just, she goes, I'm holding this, this glass.

(01:20:57):
I'm like, why? She was because I was asked to
hold it. I'm like, why don't you drink
it? She goes, oh, I'd really love to
drink it. She goes, but I can't with my
medication. I'm like, I probably shouldn't
be drinking with my medication too, but here we are.
And she's like, no, she goes andI really like bourbon And I'm
like, then you should, you know,it's a, it's a day to celebrate.

(01:21:19):
She goes, no, no, no, no. I said she goes, what are you,
Why are you out here chugging water?
I'm like, because I ate a peppercini out of that bowl and
my mouth is on fucking fire. So I chug like probably 6 more
glasses of water, go back insideand error list comes out.
She's like, what are you doing? I'm like, whatever's in that
bowl, don't fucking eat anythingout of that goddamn bowl.

(01:21:41):
Like everything is fucking spicy.
And she goes, oh, she goes, well, I wasn't going to eat
anything out of that bowl anywaybecause it's a bowl of Peppers.
Like, yeah, lesson learn. Like don't be a dumb ass and eat
the shit out of wall of Peppers.So I go back in and finally my
mouth's cooled off. Sean's like, hey, what are you
drinking? And I'm like, well, I've got a
Woodford. He's like, I'm going up to grab

(01:22:02):
and I'm like, I think your mom'sout in the hallway like
literally just waiting for you to go get the glass you gave
her. He's like, oh shit.
He goes. I gave it to her 20 minutes ago.
She's been standing out there just holding this glass like
this 20 minutes. She.
Looks like a cherub in a fountain.

(01:22:23):
Yeah, she's just like, yeah, anybody.
Yeah. So more of the story is don't
eat mystery Peppers. Yeah, who would have thunk?
Well, wasn't even a mystery pepper, though, that's the
thing. It was a peppercini.
Yeah. I was about to say, that's the
sneaky. Thing is that.
It was. Oh, yeah.
It's Peppercini. Yeah.
But if it's in with random Peppers, you.

(01:22:43):
Don't it was just sitting on topthere wasn't like it was buried
down in like the juice of this thing.
It was just sitting like right there like they had, they had,
they'd taken these like pepper rings and everything and just
put it in a bowl and then just laid pepper rings and.
Garnished it. And garnished it with
peppercinis. I mean that's what you need.
Peppercinis are garnish. It's like parsley.

(01:23:05):
Same thing. I eat the parsley, ate the
peppercini. It's like cilantro.
Yeah, not, not, not without, not, no, not unless it's on a
Taco or in salsa. No, you might as well get some
of that hand pump fucking Dove soap and squirt that shit in my
mouth. The.

(01:23:27):
Amount of times I've heard you say squirt shit in my mouth.
That's right and. Now you're too far away.
Yeah, Marco's got rage, but not that kind.
No more squirting for you. I've got sample bottles, we can
make this work. Oh yes, we can.
Squirty, squirty. All right, what do you think

(01:23:47):
about that? I mean considering you fucking
drank it all it I've. Been sipping it.
I've been slow sipping. It's really good.
It's. Like the the that trio, that
trio is fantastic so and I really wish there was a way to
replicate this. There is.
Pour them all three together. No, no, no.
For everybody, like I wish, I wish that there was a way that

(01:24:08):
you could go by the cash strength.
This was the thing. Yeah, that you could go by the
cash strength, you can go by thetwo souls and a version of this
the. Random barrel you got random
workout seminar. Yeah, like after a competition
that to just mix the three together because it's like, like
I said, Liz picked it up and shewas just like, that's good.

(01:24:30):
And I'm like, well, that's like at least between the three of
them. I mean, everything's over 120
proof. So I'm like that's all over.
That's like a 122 rye this. Is like 300 proof.
I mean in in math, if you add them all up, yeah.
It's really good. But it's really fucking good.

(01:24:50):
It's got a really, really nice, light Kentucky.
It's like a Kentucky snuggle. Oh, maybe we should change the
Kentucky hug to a Kentucky snuggle.
Yeah, because it's not like doesn't punch you in the chest,
but it's just warm. You get a mouth experience and
then just you get a Kentucky snuggle.
Yeah, the next time I'm on a goddamn barrel pick.
Kentucky Snuggle. And they're like, yeah, you get

(01:25:10):
a really good Kentucky. I'm like, man, you get a
Kentucky snuggle. Trademark there, I said.
It that's. You'll be royalties.
Yeah, well, it's on the show, soif it's.
On our show. It's our show.
One of the two spirits right nowis a 10 year Wisconsin rye aged

(01:25:31):
in cab barrel, cab barrels and rye barrels.
That doesn't like. That does not sound appealing to
me like. Yeah, I'm not a big cab barrel.
Fan, But While You've got You said it's our Wisconsin rye
that's been finished, that's been see and that just right
there, the 10 year part just on a rye just seems like it's going

(01:25:54):
to be very, very oaky. I'll say I feel like that at
that point you're starting to lose that rye.
The the you. What makes a good rye?
Yeah, like I don't think a rye should be more than like 7
years, 7-8 years. I was.
Going to say 6 sevens. Kind of, yeah.
Like where I feel I guess eightspushed now I would say 7 years,
but eights, eights kind of pushing it on a rye so.

(01:26:16):
Well even on a bourbon though man, once you start getting past
that I don't. I feel like you start to
tracking at some point, some more rapid than.
Others, well, no, you're you're right with a with a bourbon, I
don't, I don't think anything. I don't think I've had anything
over an 8 year that has been good.
Yeah, because we've tried some older age stuff and it's just.
Like that's like I. Don't think it helps it.

(01:26:36):
No, the guy, the guy doing the officiating yesterday said that
he he would, they were at somewhere and they were
celebrating something and he hadjust got done watching Mad Men
and they broke out of a bottle. Mccarran McClellan 25.
And so they had it at that restaurant in a one ounce pour
was like 400 and some dollars and he's like that.

(01:26:58):
Sounds great. No, he goes, I'll go, I'll I'll
pass like that's I don't I don'tneed that.
I'm like I said, well, one I said you're talking about like a
high end Scotch, I said, and scotches are different.
I said, scotches are, I said they're not.
They use bourbon barrels to store Scotch.
I said, so you're talking about basically a sealed barrel that

(01:27:20):
there's no, there's not a whole lot of loss in that barrel with
that point because it's already been sealed and everything.
I said, you know, in a, a bourbon, I said you couldn't
find a 25 year old bourbon. He said, well, what do you mean?
I said, well, all bourbon one has to be between a certain

(01:27:41):
proof point, I said, but at the same time it had it is new
American white oak barrels. I said, so you're talking about
a new barrel that's going to leak.
It's going to seal up, it's going to leak.
You know it's going to, but you're going to have evaporation
out of that barrel. I said with Scotch you don't
have that evaporation as it's not as prevalent in Scotch

(01:28:04):
because the I've. Never heard of the Angel?
Share of a Scotch, Yeah. I said it's already a used
barrel, like it's it's sealed. There's no evaporation point
necessarily. That's why you can do these 25
year old scotches and still I said that you think.
They'll have any kind of yield. Yeah, I'll say you don't lose
your yield on something that. Yeah, and he's like, he's like,

(01:28:26):
well, he goes. You, you know a lot about this.
I'm like, well, I've been drinking whiskey for 12 or 14
years, I said, or whatever it is.
As I said, you just learn these things over the I said, you know
so. We're not only drinking it,
we've been effectively studying it.
Really. Well, for them, but yeah, I
mean, I said I have, I have a podcast.
I said we drink whiskey. I said it's not a whiskey

(01:28:47):
podcast, but we drink a lot of whiskey on the show and talk
about it. We learn.
About it, we share what we learn.
And we're, we're putting it out there.
You know what we, what we find out.
And I said what I found out is anything bourbon wise over a
nine year in general is not. Starts to get chewy, yeah.

(01:29:09):
And I said, you know, there's, Isaid there's like 15 years
stuff. I said that I just, it's like
chewing on, I said, just go cut a piece of wood like off a tree
and fucking chew on it. But.
It almost tastes sale and watered down at the same time
somehow. It's just it loses the flavor.
Like it could still be a high proof.
It can still be a single barrel.You can do all those things but

(01:29:31):
the flavor just starts lacking after 7-8 is on tops years I
feel. I would say after nine years
with certain ones, like I have anine year, like 9 year Knob
Creek is really good. That's the Black Label, Knob
Creek, the bottle that it's really good stuff.
There'll be outlaw. The 18 year.
Average. But the well, the 18 year Knob
Creek is really good as well. Have I had?

(01:29:52):
That no I've only had like a pour oven.
It's only because my neighbor had a bottle and brought it over
one night. So I think it was the 18, not
Greek 18, not Greek 15. I don't know either way, but it
was that was really good. But like the like the Pappy 12
year and the Pappy 15 and the Pappy 25.

(01:30:16):
That shit is just like you mightas just drink wood, like liquify
wood and drink it. It's not great.
Buy some, buy some oak chips and.
Yeah, and put it in water and then drink that because it's
not, it's not something that I would want to impart on anybody.

(01:30:38):
It's just not good. So I don't disagree.
And it's it's it's and it's overpriced for what it is.
Like, yeah, Julian Van Winkle's doing his like he's doing his
thing and he's, you know, he's making this, this product that
is super allocated and super limited.
And highly coveted. And there were people that love

(01:31:00):
that. Yeah.
And and that's the thing. That's that's who it's being
made for at this point, is the people who who want that more as
a status symbol than a whiskey to drink.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Because. You're going to go into that
person's house and he's going tohave a bottle of Pappy 25, but
it's going to be sealed. Yeah, and one I know.

(01:31:20):
I know a guy who has several bottles of Pappy 15 and, and I'm
just like, are you drinking? He's like, yeah, I drink them
all the time. He goes, but I'm also on the
distributor list. So he is so that, that
particular guy that I know is sofucking wealthy, not even rich,
just fucking wealthy that he has, he is, he is friends with

(01:31:46):
the distributor. And so if he needs something, he
just contacts them and places anorder.
It's not even, he didn't go to the fucking store.
He's just like, yeah, I need, I need 3 bottles of Pappy,
whatever. And I'll get that.
And he goes, no, I need, I need,you know, some Maker's Mark and
I need this and blah, blah, blah, blah.
And whatever he needs. He just sends him a list and
they're like, all right, that'llbe 5 grand.

(01:32:09):
And he's like, all right, well, here you go.
And then he just gets bottles delivered to his house just like
a store would, because that's what he has.
And that's the, you know, it's just.
That's a different level. That's a well.
That's a difference between richand wealthy.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, he's not rich.
He's wealthy. And I mean, he's got a bad.

(01:32:32):
He's got a bottle. He just for no reason whatsoever
paid $15,000 for a bottle of Pappy signed by Julian Van
Winkle. It makes Mike's eyes hurt.
Like Mike just was like. Fuck.
Damn. 15 grand just because he could not not his his.

(01:32:52):
For a signature. For a signature now I have a
bottle in here that is signed byFreddie Johnson at Buffalo
Trace. It's for Jose.
Paid 50 bucks for it. Right, because it's the bottle
and. It's a bottle of Buffalo Trace.
Yeah, it's just a regular bottleof Buffalo Trace, but it's just

(01:33:15):
like $15,000 for a fucking sign bottle that you're never going
to open. You know what, no one's going
to. You're not going to get $16,000
out of that bottle. You're not going to get 20.
I mean. You hold on to it for 20 years
and. Julian Van Winkle would have to
die in a horrific fucking accident, right for that to be

(01:33:37):
worth any. Crushed by a barrel in a Rick
house. Yeah, like it has to be like
some freak accident like his. It would be like Christopher
Lloyd and who framed Rodger Rabbit getting run over by his
own fucking machine to make it worth anything.
Like he would have to get his foot stuck in like 1 of the,

(01:34:00):
the, the, the, the barrel dumping process and get run over
by like several barrels. Yeah, and then you'd have to
drown in his own product to makeit worth anything.
So. All right, and I got to start
heading out. Why?
Because I have to. We're all we're doing a show.
OK, Congrats. Continue doing your show.

(01:34:22):
Yeah, that's right. Keep that in my my show.
I know, that's why I said that sarcastically.
Your show. All right, well.
You paid for all this and we're at your house so I really can't
say too much, but I am the fatter 1.
You. You got that on me.
Yeah, you'll you'll never beat me there.
I will never. And I am way funnier than you in
my mind. Oh no.

(01:34:45):
Yes, in my mind. Your mind.
Yeah, in your mind, you're the funniest person on the planet.
I had a. Hilarious joke earlier when
you're talking, but I know. What, No one can ever receive a
blowjob better than me? Nobody can give them better than
you either. That's unfair.
Well, I know from experience. When I can bend over and give
when I I had to have his ribs removed.

(01:35:06):
I almost said Charles Manson did.
No, he he removed ribs, but it was in a different context.
Yeah, it was for Dahmer. They were tasty.
No, he was. He was just a he was just a fan
of BBQ. So, yeah, all right.
Check us out on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Insta. Google Tube, Instagram.
Mike, don't hang up yet, but yeah, I wish you were here.

(01:35:28):
Yeah. Bye.
Yay, you're a Mormon. Wish you were here.
What? So are you looking at bicycles?
Yeah, I'm actually probably going to get a bike.
Only because. Only because.
I like to. Ride are you?
Are you looking? Have you gone to Joseph A Smith

(01:35:48):
and looked for white button up shirts?
I want to ride my bike. Have you seen American Primeval?
No. My name is.
It's on Amazon Prime I highly. Recommend it.
I'll look it up. American.
Yeah, Primeval. Primeval.
Yeah. All right.
I'll look up. Your new name's Mormon.
Mike on the show welcome. To the Buckhorn podcast, I'm
Martell, and with me always is Mormon Mike and Randy and the

(01:36:10):
Void. I like it.
I'm going to get. Drunk Now, 2028.
I want to take bumpsters like these stuff I like Mike.
Campaign stuff. Say I like Mormon Mike.
Yeah. Start playing everywhere.
All right, well, let's end this.We're out.
Done. Like and ready.

(01:36:32):
Raise the glass. Live in life.
No future, no past. Yeah, that.
Goes in the. Dark whiskey podcast like this
like and ready raise the glass, live in life, no future, no
past, no past.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

24/7 News: The Latest

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#445 Middle West Pumpernickel Ryes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

24/7 News: The Latest

All Episodes

#445 Middle West Pumpernickel Ryes

Stuff You Should Know