Many of my friends were harmed by the church from the inside. Years of giving their blood, sweat and tears to a place seemingly established in the name of God (ie: love), only to find themselves spit out on the other end disillusioned, disheartened and, in some situations, downright traumatized.
Me? My harm was from the outside. Being the outsider looking in. Feeling like it was a club too exclusive to join, and eventually seeing with my own eyes that I would *never* want to join this club anyway - it was judgmental, self-righteous, damming, shaming, and not at all above exiling. People were unabashedly using the name of God and Jesus to do SO. MUCH. HARM, and somehow justifying it and getting away with it at the most perverse levels all because they say it's God's will. (Yes, I'm purposely mixing past and present tenses.)
And while I've always had a connection to God, the Universe and an active spiritual life, I let all that keep me from getting to know God more deeply or pursuing my curiosity about Jesus (a name that still feels triggering, but I'm trying to neutralize it for reasons that serve my own heart) for 44 years.
But just as I shouldn't let stingy, asshole rich people keep me from wanting to make money, I shouldn't let these people keep me from getting to know perhaps the greatest source of love, joy and hope available to us.
Let's dive into my story, my righteous anger (That's right, I said it!), and why these people might be doing so much harm and placing their actions squarely on the head of Jesus. (Ooooh, am I saying they're placing THORNS on his head? That's for you to decide.)
WARNING: Lots of F bombs in this one.
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