Ep 49 | TRAILER | Bouncing Back: James' Victory Over Psychosis 💪 feat. James Lindsay

Full episode goes live on Monday 31st July 2023 7am BST

 

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Episode Transcript

(00:06):
I remember being quite scared actually becauseI remember being in the car on the way to the
GP, mum was driving and I remember having thisfear based on maybe a film or TV programme
I'd seen that I was going to be taken away ina straight jacket type thing and so yeah I
was just worried that something like that wasgoing to happen to me.

(00:33):
Yeah I remember going on these walks with mymum and she would kind of try and steer me
in the right direction and kind of try and helpand sometimes I wouldn't, I don't know if I
quite lashed out but I'd kind of say you knowoh you don't know what it's like being on this
medication and you say that but you don't knowthat and all those kind of things like I know

(00:59):
she was like trying her best and trying to help,but I was kind of, I guess it was hard to convince
me and hard to, because I really lost my getup and go by that point. I wasn't easiest to
be around because I'd kind of, it's like I turnedthe conversation back towards me being sad
and negative.

(01:25):
Near the beginning, I was kind of running awayfrom staff for whatever reason, thinking they
were like out to get me. And I remember also,there was another patient who used to really
freak me out because he had this way about himwhere he would pace up and down the communal
area. And he was like, keeping eye contact withme like wouldn't look away for me. So it really

(01:48):
freaked me out. I still sort of had my delusionfrom before I was in there about being tracks
and like I even thought it could have been likemy brother in his body or like he was controlling
him or something weird like that and it wasjust like I was just so delusional and all
over the place. It's almost like in comprehensiveor some of the stuff that was going through

(02:12):
my head. It's just so far away from my normallike reality.
After I got let go from my job, initially itwas good because I wanted to get out there
on my own terms. I thought it was a blessingin disguise and it was, but it took me about

(02:35):
six months to get any type of work again. AndI remember being on Jobseeker's Allowance and
being unemployed and I had nothing really todo with my days other than sort of job search
and stuff. And I just felt I got quite... baddepression at that point. And that really,
for me, felt like the rock bottom kind of thing.I felt like I'd lost everything. And I became

(03:00):
a proper like pessimist, like a glass half emptytype person. I didn't think I'd be able to
get a job again or a girlfriend again, or like,even when I went out and I was with friends,
I felt like a burden. I felt like I had nothingto contribute to the group. And I was just
like this kind of person who just did nothingand had nothing to really say. This episode

(03:23):
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