Ep 51 | TRAILER | Finding Success on Your Own Terms: My Journey Without Drama School feat. Ashley Joseph

Full episode goes live on Monday 14th August 2023 7am BST

 

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Episode Transcript

(00:06):
And I remember a time where I didn't have anywork for months and I talk about this because
I think it's coming into the question you'veasked. And it was the first time I had to apply
for just, I guess, a normal job, a muggle job,whatever you want to call it, PAYE. And I remember
writing this application, man, to be an eventsmanager for the Fire Service. I mean me, an

(00:26):
events manager for the Fire Service. And I wrotethis application, like typing on the Mac in
tears, man. I was bawling, like, why? Like,why can't I just be who I wanna be? Why can't
I just do what I wanna do?

(00:47):
It made me feel like that meant that out ofthose 30, they could pick, it was about maybe
25 people were Caucasian. And then it was someonewho's from Spain, someone who was oriental,
then there's myself and Oli. So I'm thinkingto myself now, so does that mean that when
I went through that audition process, I wasjust being compared to every other black guy?

(01:11):
So it means are we in a category of our own?Not a league, not a league of our own. category
of art. So that hurts. And when I really unpickit talking to you, then I'm thinking well,
and this is where you can get mashed up. Whereyou go, well mentally, are we that far from
being enslaved? Because you're still pittingus against each other just in a different format,
just in a different context.

(01:37):
I've always had a challenge around not feelinglike I'm wanted, you know, and that I think
it, no, not I think, I know, and I've got tobe honest with myself and the world, that comes
from, you know, a single parent family and thatexperience of not having a father that was
present, you know, really, definitely, and it'sbecome more apparent becoming a father myself.

(02:01):
So I had a lot of fear. and if I'm honest, Ididn't deal with it.