August 24, 2024 • 10 mins
Empathy for others, as well as yourself, empowers a different perspective and will help your mental health. Empathy improves relationships with others and yourself. Overall, practicing TRUE emotional empathy can help all areas of your life: especially your mental health.
My name is Ethan Jewell, and welcome to Feel Your Feelings. I'm not a doctor, psychiatrist, or professional in the mental health industry. I'm a normal guy who has felt some big feelings and wants to share that experience with you in a casual, relatable, easy to understand format.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Someone cuts you off in traffic.They must be a bad person and
their action has now upset you. Maybe a friend is acting a
little bit differently towards you.
Well, you think you must have done something wrong or they
must have changed. Maybe you are feeling upset or
depressed. You tell yourself you don't
deserve to feel this way. You experience guilt for feeling
(00:21):
emotions. All of these things could be
relatively normal thoughts that you have, but they are not a
healthy way to live. This is not a good way to have a
relationship with other people'semotions and with your own.
People are more complicated thanthat.
You're more complicated than that.
(00:43):
There's more layers to every decision and action that people
make. Being empathetic to both others
and yourself allows you to have a different, more healthy
perspective towards the complicated, messy part of life
that is emotions. So let's discuss how being more
emotionally empathetic not only improves our relationship with
(01:07):
others, but also our relationship with our self.
After all, empathy empowers you to see a different perspective,
one with less judgment, less malice, free from grudges.
My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel your
feelings. It's a lot easier to always
(01:33):
assume the worst. I know I have a pretty bad habit
of this. Sometimes when a random stranger
wrongs me, or maybe a friend is acting differently, I'll tend to
assume that they're doing it with an intention to do so, and
I used to not pay much attentionto what could be going on on the
inside, whether it's in a stranger, a friend, or in
(01:56):
yourself. You know when someone cuts you
in line, it's easy to assume they're a bad person and that
sours your entire mood. They must be doing this out of
spite or malice. They must be doing it to affect
you. This plants a seed for you to be
upset by their action, causing your inner emotions to be
(02:16):
controlled by an outward force. But this is an unhealthy way to
live, yet far too common. We can feel this way towards
strangers, loved ones, or ourselves.
A lack of empathy towards everyone around us, including
ourselves, will lead to a lack of emotional maturity.
(02:37):
It will lead to a void of judgement and assumed malice.
It will lead us down a miserablepath.
So join me as we discuss what emotional empathy is, how we can
practice it to have a healthier perspective in life, and how
that perspective will positivelyimpact us.
(02:57):
So what exactly is emotional empathy?
Well, it's the ability to understand and process what
other people may be feeling or experiencing.
Sometimes you may even feel someof what they're feeling.
This helps deepen that understanding and allow you to
truly get what they're feeling. Maybe a friend is dealing with a
(03:20):
breakup. Instead of assuming that they're
shut off or depressed. Behavior is a direct reflection
of how they feel towards you. If you practice emotional
empathy, you can understand thattheir actions are a reflection
of how they're feeling. They are acting on an emotion or
experience that they're having, and with some practice you can
pick up on that without them having to communicate directly.
(03:45):
You can then be there for them. You can understand that it is
not your fault that they are acting differently.
You won't internalize their actions and this can lead to
more peace. Let's look at another example.
Maybe you're out at the grocery store and a random person cuts
you off in the parking lot, seemingly in a rush.
(04:07):
Your two options are to assume malice or to assume ignorance
because of what's going on in their life.
If you choose malice, you will be assuming this random person
wronged you specifically on purpose.
This will likely 'cause you someemotional distress.
You may find yourself angry thatthey cut you off in the parking
(04:27):
lot, as it caused a little bit of stress slamming on the
brakes. You might find yourself thinking
about it for the rest of the day, wondering what you did to
deserve their action, their small little action.
If you do not write it off as simply ignorance or something
else, it can literally affect you.
I, I, I know this might sound ridiculous, but you have likely
(04:48):
experienced this. If you practice emotional
empathy, you understand that they likely didn't do that with
any negative intention towards you.
Maybe there's something going onat their workplace or in their
family life, and they're so distracted thinking about it
that they accidentally cut you off.
And maybe they recently experienced a loss and they're
sour towards the world, tossing out any care for others.
(05:09):
Whatever it is, you can understand that it isn't your
fault. Being able to detach yourself
from that by understanding the unique and complicated human
experience is healthy and important.
Now this is a pretty surface level example of this idea of
practicing emotional empathy, but it runs much deeper.
(05:32):
In the same way that you can practice emotional empathy
towards a stranger and understand that they might just
be feeling a certain way and acting out, and that's fine.
Or allowing a friend to strugglewith emotions and not
internalize their actions or their feelings.
Allow them space to feel. You can practice that same
empathy and patience towards yourself.
(05:54):
You can have a greater relationship with yourself in a
deeper understanding for how youand those around you function
emotionally. If you're anything like me, you
have at some point felt guilt orshame for feeling a certain way.
You felt an intense emotion, depression, anxiety, paranoia.
And instead of accepting that emotion in practicing self
(06:16):
empathy, you push it to the sideand tell yourself that others
have it worse, so you shouldn't feel that way.
You feel guilt. You feel shame.
You try to push away those feelings because you think you
shouldn't feel them at all. This is emotional gaslighting.
This is a complete lack of self empathy.
This is dangerous. This way of thinking teaches you
(06:39):
that your emotions should conform to some outward set of
rules that you have to check offboxes in order to have valid
feelings. But the truth is, every feeling
is valid. Every feeling you have deserves
a high level of emotional empathy.
Each emotion that passes throughyour body should be acknowledged
(07:00):
and treated with the respect it deserves.
It doesn't matter how big or small.
Each feeling is an experience unique to you and deserves to be
treated that way. So next time you feel any
feeling, regardless of what others may be experiencing,
regardless of the emotions you've experienced before, treat
it with respect. Allow it the space to be felt.
(07:20):
Allow yourself empathy to feel that emotion in a safe space.
Don't force it away. This is how you form a more
healthy relationship with yourself by creating layers of
trust and comfort through self empathy and validation.
In these same footsteps, you canpractice that level of emotional
(07:41):
empathy towards others. When they are upset, their mood
seems off, you can just be present with them and respect
whatever feelings they need to feel.
If someone is acting differentlyfor no reason and won't tell you
about why, perhaps they just need room to feel.
And I don't mean you have to literally walk away from them.
(08:05):
Maybe they just need to feel those feelings.
They just need to be a little bit different.
It is not your responsibility topry what they're feeling out of
them, to force them to feel. Maybe they just need room.
We can allow them to have these complicated feelings and not
feel a personal pressure to do anything about it.
(08:27):
Of course we should always try to be there for others when we
have the emotional capacity to do so.
But don't let someone's actions or feelings dictate how you feel
or act around them. Allow them to feel.
Allow them to go through whatever they're going through,
(08:47):
and don't take it to heart. People can be difficult and
complicated to understand. Feelings are already hard
enough, but a feeling that someone else is feeling can be
impossible to understand. The best thing we can do is
practice empathy. You can be receptive to your own
(09:08):
emotions with some work, making empathy an easier path to walk,
but other people can be more complicated.
I encourage you to do the work anyway.
If we can all practice a little more empathy towards each other,
allow a little bit more space and a little bit more lenience,
(09:28):
we can all be a little kinder and a little less suffocating
towards each other. You deserve that, I deserve
that, We all deserve that. That's gonna wrap it up for
today's episode. Thank you so much for being
here. If you need help feeling your
feelings, I make music under thename of Ethan Jewell on all
(09:50):
platforms. I just had a new song come out
called Do You Want to Fall in Love?
And I think you really might like it.
Also, please shoot me a message on my Instagram at Jewel Boy
with an I under score and let meknow what you thought about
today's episode. So thank you so much for being
here. Thank you for understanding that
empathy is an active practice that can help us all improve our
(10:11):
relationships with ourselves andwith others.
And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
I'll see you next time.
Someone cuts you off in traffic.They must be a bad person and
their action has now upset you. Maybe a friend is acting a
little bit differently towards you.
Well, you think you must have done something wrong or they
must have changed. Maybe you are feeling upset or
depressed. You tell yourself you don't
deserve to feel this way. You experience guilt for feeling
(00:21):
emotions. All of these things could be
relatively normal thoughts that you have, but they are not a
healthy way to live. This is not a good way to have a
relationship with other people'semotions and with your own.
People are more complicated thanthat.
You're more complicated than that.
(00:43):
There's more layers to every decision and action that people
make. Being empathetic to both others
and yourself allows you to have a different, more healthy
perspective towards the complicated, messy part of life
that is emotions. So let's discuss how being more
emotionally empathetic not only improves our relationship with
(01:07):
others, but also our relationship with our self.
After all, empathy empowers you to see a different perspective,
one with less judgment, less malice, free from grudges.
My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel your
feelings. It's a lot easier to always
(01:33):
assume the worst. I know I have a pretty bad habit
of this. Sometimes when a random stranger
wrongs me, or maybe a friend is acting differently, I'll tend to
assume that they're doing it with an intention to do so, and
I used to not pay much attentionto what could be going on on the
inside, whether it's in a stranger, a friend, or in
(01:56):
yourself. You know when someone cuts you
in line, it's easy to assume they're a bad person and that
sours your entire mood. They must be doing this out of
spite or malice. They must be doing it to affect
you. This plants a seed for you to be
upset by their action, causing your inner emotions to be
(02:16):
controlled by an outward force. But this is an unhealthy way to
live, yet far too common. We can feel this way towards
strangers, loved ones, or ourselves.
A lack of empathy towards everyone around us, including
ourselves, will lead to a lack of emotional maturity.
(02:37):
It will lead to a void of judgement and assumed malice.
It will lead us down a miserablepath.
So join me as we discuss what emotional empathy is, how we can
practice it to have a healthier perspective in life, and how
that perspective will positivelyimpact us.
(02:57):
So what exactly is emotional empathy?
Well, it's the ability to understand and process what
other people may be feeling or experiencing.
Sometimes you may even feel someof what they're feeling.
This helps deepen that understanding and allow you to
truly get what they're feeling. Maybe a friend is dealing with a
(03:20):
breakup. Instead of assuming that they're
shut off or depressed. Behavior is a direct reflection
of how they feel towards you. If you practice emotional
empathy, you can understand thattheir actions are a reflection
of how they're feeling. They are acting on an emotion or
experience that they're having, and with some practice you can
pick up on that without them having to communicate directly.
(03:45):
You can then be there for them. You can understand that it is
not your fault that they are acting differently.
You won't internalize their actions and this can lead to
more peace. Let's look at another example.
Maybe you're out at the grocery store and a random person cuts
you off in the parking lot, seemingly in a rush.
(04:07):
Your two options are to assume malice or to assume ignorance
because of what's going on in their life.
If you choose malice, you will be assuming this random person
wronged you specifically on purpose.
This will likely 'cause you someemotional distress.
You may find yourself angry thatthey cut you off in the parking
(04:27):
lot, as it caused a little bit of stress slamming on the
brakes. You might find yourself thinking
about it for the rest of the day, wondering what you did to
deserve their action, their small little action.
If you do not write it off as simply ignorance or something
else, it can literally affect you.
I, I, I know this might sound ridiculous, but you have likely
(04:48):
experienced this. If you practice emotional
empathy, you understand that they likely didn't do that with
any negative intention towards you.
Maybe there's something going onat their workplace or in their
family life, and they're so distracted thinking about it
that they accidentally cut you off.
And maybe they recently experienced a loss and they're
sour towards the world, tossing out any care for others.
(05:09):
Whatever it is, you can understand that it isn't your
fault. Being able to detach yourself
from that by understanding the unique and complicated human
experience is healthy and important.
Now this is a pretty surface level example of this idea of
practicing emotional empathy, but it runs much deeper.
(05:32):
In the same way that you can practice emotional empathy
towards a stranger and understand that they might just
be feeling a certain way and acting out, and that's fine.
Or allowing a friend to strugglewith emotions and not
internalize their actions or their feelings.
Allow them space to feel. You can practice that same
empathy and patience towards yourself.
(05:54):
You can have a greater relationship with yourself in a
deeper understanding for how youand those around you function
emotionally. If you're anything like me, you
have at some point felt guilt orshame for feeling a certain way.
You felt an intense emotion, depression, anxiety, paranoia.
And instead of accepting that emotion in practicing self
(06:16):
empathy, you push it to the sideand tell yourself that others
have it worse, so you shouldn't feel that way.
You feel guilt. You feel shame.
You try to push away those feelings because you think you
shouldn't feel them at all. This is emotional gaslighting.
This is a complete lack of self empathy.
This is dangerous. This way of thinking teaches you
(06:39):
that your emotions should conform to some outward set of
rules that you have to check offboxes in order to have valid
feelings. But the truth is, every feeling
is valid. Every feeling you have deserves
a high level of emotional empathy.
Each emotion that passes throughyour body should be acknowledged
(07:00):
and treated with the respect it deserves.
It doesn't matter how big or small.
Each feeling is an experience unique to you and deserves to be
treated that way. So next time you feel any
feeling, regardless of what others may be experiencing,
regardless of the emotions you've experienced before, treat
it with respect. Allow it the space to be felt.
(07:20):
Allow yourself empathy to feel that emotion in a safe space.
Don't force it away. This is how you form a more
healthy relationship with yourself by creating layers of
trust and comfort through self empathy and validation.
In these same footsteps, you canpractice that level of emotional
(07:41):
empathy towards others. When they are upset, their mood
seems off, you can just be present with them and respect
whatever feelings they need to feel.
If someone is acting differentlyfor no reason and won't tell you
about why, perhaps they just need room to feel.
And I don't mean you have to literally walk away from them.
(08:05):
Maybe they just need to feel those feelings.
They just need to be a little bit different.
It is not your responsibility topry what they're feeling out of
them, to force them to feel. Maybe they just need room.
We can allow them to have these complicated feelings and not
feel a personal pressure to do anything about it.
(08:27):
Of course we should always try to be there for others when we
have the emotional capacity to do so.
But don't let someone's actions or feelings dictate how you feel
or act around them. Allow them to feel.
Allow them to go through whatever they're going through,
(08:47):
and don't take it to heart. People can be difficult and
complicated to understand. Feelings are already hard
enough, but a feeling that someone else is feeling can be
impossible to understand. The best thing we can do is
practice empathy. You can be receptive to your own
(09:08):
emotions with some work, making empathy an easier path to walk,
but other people can be more complicated.
I encourage you to do the work anyway.
If we can all practice a little more empathy towards each other,
allow a little bit more space and a little bit more lenience,
(09:28):
we can all be a little kinder and a little less suffocating
towards each other. You deserve that, I deserve
that, We all deserve that. That's gonna wrap it up for
today's episode. Thank you so much for being
here. If you need help feeling your
feelings, I make music under thename of Ethan Jewell on all
(09:50):
platforms. I just had a new song come out
called Do You Want to Fall in Love?
And I think you really might like it.
Also, please shoot me a message on my Instagram at Jewel Boy
with an I under score and let meknow what you thought about
today's episode. So thank you so much for being
here. Thank you for understanding that
empathy is an active practice that can help us all improve our
(10:11):
relationships with ourselves andwith others.
And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
I'll see you next time.
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