July 18, 2024 • 33 mins
Welcome to the Podcast!
Join us in this lively episode, where our host, fresh from the bustling markets of Athens, shares tales of summer fruits, cheeses, and the simple joys of life in Greece. The conversation turns to travel plans and the bittersweet emotions of attending a daughter's university graduation in Leeds.
Love Desk - It's quote time to get you started with a glow. Let's not strive for ideals that aren't there for anyone.
Hot Topic - AI for companionship
What are your thoughts on the impact of AI on companionship and the delicate skills required for human interaction?
Can we replace humans in the relationship stakes? Is an AI companion enough to fill the space and gap in your life where a partner or deep friendships would typically do this?
Question: "I've been in a relationship with a married man for 18 years. I've just called it off about six months ago. Since then, I've bounced from fling to fling, but there's something wrong with all of them. I'm in my later years, and I want some companionship. I don't know what I'm doing."
They are wrapping up with a heartfelt listener's question about navigating life after an 18-year relationship with a married man. Our hosts provide thoughtful advice on finding genuine companionship and embracing one's unique quirks in the search for love.
Whether you're a jet setter, a parent, or someone seeking meaningful relationships, this episode offers a blend of travel tales, heartfelt discussions, and valuable insights.
Till next time!
Get in touch
Geordie Lass & Doc Sass
Email info@geordielass.com with hot topics or questions about your relationship. All questions are entirely confidential.
Sara Liddle
Email: info@inflori.co.uk
Website: www.inflori.co.uk
Relationship Reset: www.inflori.co.uk/reset
Anna Stratis
Email: coachdocanna@gmail.com
Website: www.coachdocanna.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Music.
(00:27):
Hello, everyone. Hello. And tell us, Miss Jetsetter, which country are you in today?
I'm back in Athens. Oh, yeah. And it's hot, hot, hot there.
Oh, my gosh. It is. It's crazy. I was like, it's 40. I'm like,
no, it's only 34. But it's a warm 34.
Oh, my gosh. No, it's lovely to be back. I definitely like my life here.
(00:50):
So I just went to the market today.
My lovely friends are coming tomorrow to visit with their kids.
And so I picked up a bunch of fruits.
Lovely apricots peaches nectarines all these things very bursting with flavor
tomatoes so i'm excited i'm excited
and all the cheese is oh my god it's wonderful luxury here yeah yeah.
(01:11):
Don't get me started about food because you know how much i love it
oh my gosh oh my gosh yeah well and
also thinking about travel when do you think you're
where do i always love like hearing about where you're headed because you
travel way more than i do and i'm now
in europe like I have no excuse but anyways where are you
going next I am off to Leeds at
(01:31):
the weekend for my daughter's graduation oh so that
is my next trip can you imagine graduation from
university crazy no we're gone that's just wild no so yeah it's a bit of me
that's kind of glad just all of this concentration of kind of activity that
you know it's kind of all come in one burst and then And I think after that,
(01:53):
I just want to kind of settle a little bit. Yeah.
Oh, wonderful. Yes. Awesome. But yeah, no, I'm looking forward to it. Be nice.
Oh my gosh. Are you going to cry? I don't know. Like...
I don't know. We'll see. That's so funny. Oh my gosh. I don't know what it would
be like to see my kiddo cross the stage.
I'd probably be crying and remembering when they were a babe in the arms.
(02:17):
Yeah. I don't know. We'll see. It's lovely for her to just kind of finish off
what is quite an intense period of your life.
And yeah, have that kind of ceremony to celebrate it all is great.
Yeah. Oh, to everybody graduating or having somebody that they have loved and
supported financially through this graduate, congratulations.
(02:40):
It's been a long haul. It's a wonderful season. Yeah.
So, yes, all is good. Beautiful. Do you have any travel plans booked?
I suppose you've just come back, so.
Oh, yeah. That's a really good question. and probably spending time in the village
area in August, which is what Greeks do is they leave Athens,
(03:01):
the big cities, and they go to the countryside.
So the tourists hang out in Santorini. Regular Greek people just go to the non-touristy
places to relax, banho, go to the beach, and drink Frito-Cappuccino under sun umbrellas.
Very nice. I know, I know. So I'm looking forward to like checking out with
(03:23):
the Greeks too over the summer. Yeah.
No jobs bureaucracy is getting done in August and the month of August.
The whole country kind of shuts down bureaucratically.
So yeah, just something to keep in mind. If I want to get any paperwork done
in that month, I'll just have to wait for another month, which is what it is
like in Greece. Things don't exactly move fast here anyways.
(03:44):
Well, it's too hot to move fast, right? Very true. It is one of those countries. Yes, indeed.
Yeah. Okay. Well, let's hop on over to the relationship desk of love.
What's going on over there? That's indeed.
I've got a nice little quote for you today, just to see if we can warm you up
and get your little love juices flowing. Oh, okay.
(04:06):
So the quote is, there are no perfect husbands and no perfect wives,
but if you will keep believing in each other, there will be plenty of perfect
moments in your marriage oh truer words were not spoken.
We do think like everything should be perfect i don't know where where this
(04:28):
concept came from that we're trying to live up to this ideal kind of life that
you know we're all kind of,
aspiring to and then getting really disappointed when it doesn't
quite kind of measure up that to that level of
expectation and it's just I mean it's
just not real right oh true and I've
had yet again another conversation with a creative that I
(04:50):
coach and she's another person that's going
to be doing an Instagram strike you know just
having to live up to the perfection that people curate on Instagram it really
does prevent people of high integrity very creative people from posting their
stuff just because they sort of see themselves as kind of having to live up
(05:12):
to an ideal that is true for nobody.
I think in the, in the realm of relationship, what really gets us is this,
our language that we use in the infatuation stage of a new relationship.
We're like, he's so perfect for me.
So we say that he's so perfect for me. And that sets us up for our own failure.
We, we should be careful, like words matter and we should be careful.
(05:33):
Like, is he perfect for you? Or are you seeing some very encouraging signs of
compatibility that may indicate that when the infatuation stage?
It sort of evolves into the next stage and that
that you guys do have possibly the core
ingredients to do hard things together there's no
(05:55):
such thing as perfection it's not quite as fun though as it's saying kind of
oh we are doing into it it's so true of solidifying our relationship where that's
just not who we are like we do want to kind of have these head rushy moments
where we're like Like, oh,
my God, this guy is perfect or this girl is perfect.
(06:15):
But I get it. You know, we're not. None of us are.
No. So we are all fundamentally flawed as human beings.
But we can have some perfect moments. And I've just been thinking about some
recent perfect moments that have been just incredible.
Just moments to savor. But like anything, again, Phil Stutz,
I mean, happiness is a brief period between two points of big challenge,
(06:40):
right? Right. This is the bit of levity that we get.
It's that weightlessness on that sort of like flight up, you know,
those flights you can take to the edge of the atmosphere where you go up and
then you start going down.
But that weightlessness for like, I don't know, is it 30 seconds of weightlessness?
Anyways, that's kind of like happiness, fleeting.
(07:02):
And you have to go to the edge of the earth to get it. it yes
with each other that is what we do as we go to the edge of the earth with each
other that's the level to which we stretch ourselves no easy feet guys relationship
yeah all right nice all right now we've got us going.
(07:28):
Music.
Ai and companionship oh oh
gosh i mean all of us are pretty scared about losing our job and maybe our relevance
(07:50):
too of partnership and being a spouse truly if if just talking about perfection
if indeed ai could serve up the perfect relationship it could put a lot of us out
of a jar what are your
thoughts well do you know i can kind of
you can think about this from a few different angles really
(08:11):
i think so and i've got two kind of
real opposite kind of views on it so i could
see if you know i heard a radio program
the other the other week and they were talking about ai for companionship
for elderly relatives and kind
of is that something that's like a good thing or a bad thing and
again you know you had kind of opposing views on one side it
(08:32):
was like well actually if that would have really kind
of helped my kind of mum in her last days just to
have kind of feel like she had some sort of connection on the other extreme
you know people can say well you know is that just going to replace the fact
that you know you're no longer going to go and visit your relatives because
you kind of think they're sorted and therefore they're missing out on that kind
of actual human connection so there were two kind of like extremes and this.
(08:57):
Other lady was saying well no that wouldn't have happened for me I would have
still wanted to visit my mom but you're working you've got kind of you know
your own family it's very difficult you can't be there kind of 24 7 and that
would have just been a little bit of something to kind of add on to it I think
when we think about it more from a kind of dating perspective as opposed to.
(09:17):
That companionship in kind of later life when you've maybe kind of lost your your partner,
it kind of scares me a little bit because I really
do think where is you know
where where do we end in terms of kind of relationships
are fundamental to who we are as
human beings they've always been you know an
integral part of the kind of fabric of
(09:39):
human society and whether that's romantic relationships
or other kind of relationships we kind of thrive
we are supposed to be surrounded by other
people and I get kind of
concerned about this whole kind of relationship side whether you
know at what stage do you we're all you already hear of
people saying well actually I'm not positive I'm in a relationship or
(10:01):
not quite happy to be single that like
I don't need that kind of special somebody in
my life and I'm just wondering are we kind of drifting far
too way far away from a
kind of you know the traditional sense of a relationship and now
when you layer on the kind of ai technology and if you could sit on your couch
(10:22):
and have a conversation with some robotic ai and that kind of fills that that
gap in that space like you know is there a tendency or a danger that that's
where we're going to end up i think so too because communication.
Whether intimate or otherwise is like this really delicate
skill and finesse it
(10:42):
takes years to cultivate and it takes it takes a lot of exposure to different
types of people because everybody is so different and i wonder if ai and i haven't
interacted with it i'm not sure what it would be like to interact with ai in
an intimate way my assumption and i'm not quite sure if this is right,
is that AI will forgive a lot of our unpolished sort of communication strategies
(11:06):
and be overly forgiving,
perhaps, whereas a human being, we will misinterpret, we'll take things wrong,
we will have our emotional reactions. We're very complicated.
And it takes skill to learn how to communicate with a human.
So will there be people who actually don't pick up the skills or they lose the
skills of human interaction so that there's not even a question of whether AI
(11:29):
will take over, it might be that there's no going back.
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's that side of it, that losing that kind of skill,
that ability to be able to have kind of regular conversations and interact with somebody.
My kind of worry is that all of that kind of side of it does just disappear.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's a great, well.
(11:53):
That disappears our expectation for perfection,
our ability to tolerate the real life, just like those garments,
those beautiful silk garments where there's a little tag on them to say that
the imperfections are part of the garment. They're a feature, they're not a bug.
They're to be embraced and loved with all the other beautiful aspects of the garment.
(12:14):
So just will we become intolerant to human imperfection?
Yeah and you know as a kid sort
of analog pre-computer raised in the
80s or with fledgling computers computers that
did basic word processing and maybe some simple games but not
much we certainly didn't walk around with phones so I'm just you
know I remember a long expense hours and
(12:37):
hours of time spent analog and it's actually still the
way that I liked I like to leave my phone at home
and and not be in the
world with technology and just be analog with
my five senses and i i wonder am i just kind of a
dinosaur will human beings no longer
have that taste for analog experiences i think
(12:58):
some of it will depend on i mean i think
a lot of it's linked to the kind of mental health crisis as well that
we're in the midst of and i think
there will come a point where society goes hang
on a minute we have gone straight kind of far too far
from the path of where we should be and I think then you know just as you're
(13:18):
saying a client who's saying no I'm gonna have a kind of digital detox I'm gonna
switch off for a bit because we do then realize the impact that it's having
and I think with all of this we will see a kind of turning point where
people come back to that kind of needing and wanting that relationship.
The challenge though is that we may then want, but how on earth do we create it?
(13:44):
If we have been raised, and by we I mean younger generations,
raised on digital romantic experiences, it's very hard too because we can presume
that people will want to go back.
I could be wrong, but if we look at history, history, people rarely go back.
We're always moving forward. We're so adaptable as a species that we take whatever
(14:07):
we have in the present as the new normal.
And so analog might just fall out of favor, fall out of taste.
People, although I should say fashion trends come back, right?
So we do have some elements of these old, rustic vintage.
We do like vintage as a sort of a stylistic kind of plus in our lives.
But I don't know. Oh, that's a good question. I don't know if people will see
(14:31):
the need to go back to the simple. I'm not sure.
I'll probably till I die be a champion of analog experiences.
I'll, you know, be out enjoying my analog experiences, but I don't know if I'm
going to have company. That's a good question.
Well, if in doubt, you can just try and put a bit of digital in the mix as well. Yeah, that's true.
(14:52):
But, you know, because I see people both relationship as well as in the clinic.
So I certainly see the oppressive burden of the mental health crisis of people
trying to connect, but getting farther and farther away from each other.
So I see all of that many, all the facets of where I work.
And so if there are people who are recognizing that connecting with other human
(15:13):
beings is integral to their mental health and their wellness recovery journey,
then if I coach around that, I think what's important to get back into or to
maybe start to learn or to flex or to develop skills for interacting with human beings.
If you feel like you've kind of been down the digital rabbit hole for a while,
it's really important to start slow, be judgmental on yourself.
(15:37):
It's going to be an awkward start, you know, how to start common interest groups.
Meetup groups. Again, you know, how do we have relationships?
I don't know if necessarily I'd be like, go on Tinder or go on Bumble.
I don't know, like the dating apps. Yeah, but it's also a quagmire out there.
It may give you this false impression of, gosh, I think I should stay in the
digital realm because online dating sucks.
(15:58):
Sucks there's nothing like getting together with
people who share the same interest yeah even
as a gateway to romance yeah especially as
a gateway to romance as a lot of us as we coach people who are dating is you
know hobbies that you have that you've always thought about doing what if you
were to show up to something without an expectation of a romantic encounter
(16:21):
and go out and meet people And even just flexing your muscles for social communication.
Even platonic, is really, really helpful.
Do you want to say like a high proportion of people meet their partners at work?
You say you don't. No, I said don't there.
I think there is a... Well, they do, but here's the other crisis happening,
(16:42):
is because it is so fraught with issues in terms of an HR disaster,
updating somebody at work, because it's become such a no-no.
I think there's less and less, and I could be wrong,
but I think there are less and less people hooking up at work because there's not the same tolerance,
(17:02):
all the crazy, like, you know, rare is it that, that you have an online group
at work where there's like paperwork exchanged.
Hey, I'm interested in you. Would you like to go on a date? Sure.
Here's my NDA and my, you know, sort of 12 page contract. And this is what's allowed.
This is what's not. We've cleared it with HR. There's not a power differential.
No, you're usually at a work party getting drunk. One thing leads to the other.
(17:25):
So just saying like, it's all those kind of organic,
you know, having one too many at the work party like that
is often how i've heard a lot of people have actually
turned that interest in each
other into like a spark that actually takes off yeah but alas i think everything
has gotten more complicated these days i think it feels it but i don't know
(17:45):
if that's just because we're getting older and i think you get a bit more weary
around some of it you haven't quite got the same fresh younger energy that you had that is so true would
have kind of, none of these things really would have entered into your headspace.
Absolutely. Just kind of stuff that happens. So I think that's the difference.
Absolutely. And full on, you're absolutely right.
(18:07):
And there's so many things, if I look back, I'm like, God, I wouldn't have the
energy to do it again. Like all my post-secondary schooling, actually.
As I hear about your daughter crossing the stage, I'm like, good God,
that must have been hard.
But I had all the energy in the world. as a doctor like
i mean yeah but i was coming out of
my undergrad being like all right time for med school time for
(18:29):
my math you know i was ready to go so you're right
like they're you know my fatigue i should not impose on the younger generation
because they have all the energy in the world to do all the silly things that
i did when i was that much so well yeah and let's hope they carry on doing that
and two maybe don't quite resort to ai for your only source of companionship Oh, gracious.
(18:50):
No, listen, like everything, learn from mistakes, stumble and fall,
get back up again. That's how we learn. Just do it.
Fall and fall and fall over again, and eventually you'll start to walk. Yeah, indeed.
All right. Shall we?
Music.
(19:15):
I've been in a relationship with a married man for 18 years.
I've called it off about six months ago. And since then, I've bounced from fling
to fling. But there's something wrong with all of them.
I'm in my later years, and I just want some companionship. I don't know what I'm doing.
This is maybe a more on the one side, like this is more of a more extreme example.
(19:38):
Example, but I, we coach people all the time who are aware that they tend to
be attracted to people who are not available for true commitment.
And they don't tend to feel attracted to people who are, or at least they say
that they're, so there's definitely a pattern here.
So I would say that this 18 year relationship with a married person,
(20:00):
that, that is like the ultimate, you can be guaranteed that this person was
never going to leave their partner.
They may have said so. So, but you knew that they wouldn't and that's what made them safe. Yeah.
And so now this feels very exposed and very unsafe because there's people who
are actually open and willing to actually have a commitment with you.
(20:21):
So that's my kind of hit is, you know, getting into what are the messages that
you're telling yourself about your worthiness to receive a commitment,
your worthiness for unconditional love.
Yeah. Yeah. I think definitely the pattern side of it is there, isn't it?
So if you're staying in a relationship with somebody for 18 years,
knowing that they're never actually going to be fully yours,
(20:42):
because I think you do in the back of your mind, you know that,
you're doing that by choice.
So that's your choice to be in that type of relationship that isn't ever actually
going to be fully available for you.
I think since then, the kind of, you know, bouncing from kind of,
you know, fling to fling, again,
it's the same, it's exactly the same pattern, isn't it? It's kind of.
(21:03):
Going to date these, you know, assuming it's a guy, I'm going to date these
guys that are unavailable and I'm just going to continue to be dissatisfied
with all of them and never really truly get the thing that I do want.
But I would also doubt in this situation whether they know what they want.
Oh gosh, of course they don't. And most of us don't.
(21:26):
In this instance, what is your how do you coach around discovering what you
want and importantly here try to avoid.
Using like well I don't want this and I don't want
that because we like take out
a blank slate and say you know these are things these are the qualities
I am looking for not just the then photographic
(21:48):
negative doesn't anybody remember what those are the photographic negative
all the things you didn't appreciate in your
last relationships yeah yeah i think
it is around that kind of you know using a series of
tools to do that exploration and really
raise that level of awareness to get crystal
clear about who it is that you want to be with and it's not about
(22:10):
saying i want to have a you know six foot broad
dark whatever kind of
person and really listing out know all of those physical characteristics
although some of that you know might be important to you
but I think for me a lot of the time it is around kind of
what's the type of person that you want you know this person
says that just want companionship okay well
(22:32):
what does companionship look like for you how how often would you see this person
how what sort of things would you be doing together how would that make you
feel so really starting to identify that on a kind of you know on an experience
basis not just on a kind of here's my physical features that i'm after,
because for me there's a there's a fit isn't there there's there's a.
(22:56):
Being in a in a relationship with somebody for 18 years where
there isn't really true alignment because you're only
ever getting kind of part of that person because they can't
give in more than that because they're married yeah what's also
important what I discovered is I didn't
see incompatibility in my previous relationships until
I until I was shown compatibility
(23:18):
and then I I realized that there were a
lot of so so as I if I were to sort of reverse engineer or
go back I would I would I would take an
inventory of all the things I find quite awesome about myself
and of course that that requires confidence in yourself that's an ongoing lifelong
challenge a lot of us have come from a non-confident place and we're growing
(23:39):
in our confidence we're on a confidence journey but like I have kind of a list
of things I find are pretty cool about me but they're pretty quirky and they're
not to everybody's taste.
They're kind of like truffle oil. Some people like it and some people don't.
So if I were to sort of go back, I would say, okay, these are the things I really love about myself.
And so what I'm looking for is somebody who compliments, who likes those flavors.
(24:04):
And so that's something you can kind of look for on dates one,
two, or three. Like, is this person, do they like my quirky sense of humor?
Do they like the fact that I'm frugal? And do they kind of match with that or at least compliment it?
Yeah. Do they admire me for the things? Do they show admiration for the things
that I admire about myself?
Because a lot of us will get into a relationship where we feel like we have
(24:27):
to play small because our traits are seen as an annoyance to somebody else.
So what we will often do is we'll hide parts of ourselves so that we can't,
I don't know what game we're trying to play because eventually they just leak
out. I can't hide myself.
I can suppress myself for a little while, but eventually I leak out.
And if I'm just annoying to somebody or if parts of me turn them off where I
(24:52):
kind of have to tiptoe, that's just not going to work.
And I don't know about you guys, but I have spent a lot of time in a relationship where I.
My cool things were actually seen as defects
and so when it's when
you're with somebody who's like oh my god those are total features it's like that's
amazing that's amazing so i think i really wanted to spend a
(25:14):
disproportionate amount of time flagging that out
yeah what am i looking for somebody who really
likes my flavors yeah you know that that's
that we're kind of saying isn't that there's somebody out there for everybody and there
really truly is because we are all unique
in our our own way in terms of how we see the
world look at the world how we present ourselves in that world how
(25:36):
we show up every day and it is about finding
somebody that appreciates the kind of who you are and what you've got but also
you can appreciate and understand them as well and that's when you start to
get this this real kind of alignment you know you both want the same things
out of relationship it's no good if one person wants just pure companionship and maybe somebody to.
(25:58):
Kind of travel with and the other person's like no I want to move
in with somebody I want to like I might be in my later years
but I want to get married again or it's important for
me to commit to somebody fully and 100% so getting really kind of in that position
where you can understand actually what does an ideal relationship look like
for you what does it look like for me and they're never going to truly match
(26:21):
but is there enough there that we can kind of you know
work on this and kind of you know take
the steps that we need to to make it a solid solid relationship with
a solid foundation because that's what it takes for
a relationship to be successful you've got to have a really
solid foundation and that can only come from kind
of the time that it takes to learn each other and understand each other and
(26:46):
be willing and open to want to do that gosh yeah absolutely and i can't say
enough because now i understand what it is of compatibility the less bridges
that you have to cross to come onto the same ground.
The easier that it will be the more familiar it is just there's many like the
(27:07):
this infatuation phase can really mislead us and and make us romanticize the
differences and i think all of us have to like go off and do crazy things when
you're young and find the most sort of
uncanny person to date.
And a lot of us have to sort of, you know, learn from hard knocks.
But the more that your philosophies, your values align, you know,
(27:31):
the boring stuff, really the better off you are.
Yeah and you'll generally find people when
you're doing the activities that you really love doing not just
the activities that they say that you find some good
good people there I mean if you meet at a
bar but and that might be you might
be somebody who doesn't often spend time in the bar and you
(27:53):
just happen to be there and what a cool thing that that
person was there too anyways yeah yeah I
think the yeah the other thing I would say is
maybe like just spend a bit of time on your own like because
there's this kind of continuous we all see like we need to
be in a relationship like all of the time otherwise we're
not kind of I don't know we're somehow not a valid member of
(28:14):
society but you know why not just take a little bit of time out and actually
try and figure out some of the things that you do enjoy doing what else brings
you kind of joy and then maybe in the process of that you might actually come
across somebody who is very like-minded and you have you
know, some sort of wider connection with them.
(28:36):
Totally. And it can be very hard to sort of distinguish your readiness for a
new relationship from peer pressure and societal pressure.
Because there's this whole like, oh, I should be in a relationship.
If I'm not, what does that say about me?
But like, and definitely working with people is that if you're not meeting anybody, are you ready?
Because that is very likely a sign that somehow you're not ready or that in
(29:00):
the video game of life, you were meant to take another journey or two and accumulate
another experience or another skill before meeting somebody new. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a complicated business, isn't it? It is.
You find those that are in relationships don't want to be in relationships,
those that don't want to be in, and we just get caught up in this kind of messiness in the middle.
(29:23):
And the messiest is trying to figure out, like, why do I attract a bunch of unavailable people?
Yeah. and and a lot of people now have this a
reckoning of like okay all right must be something
that i'm looking for right or that i
am seeming unavailable to the
people who would be good partners and would be available so so the
(29:45):
recognition is one thing that's a very brave move but then what do you
do with that like and we're not asking be attracted
to somebody you're not attracted to that is not the answer no
no no no i think it's getting to grips with the kind of
where's the fear factor coming from what is it that
about a relationship that would absolutely terrify you if it was
more than just companionship or you
(30:05):
know being the kind of the other woman what is
it about that if it was more than that that would absolutely
terrify the life out of you well and
because that fear is coming like energy not
in a weird way energy matters that you're meeting people all
the time every day yeah when they look at you
in a supermarket across the coffee shop at
(30:28):
a party friend of a friend what do they see do
they see somebody who's like totally available for relationship or
do you look closed off and that like and you may seem you may feel oh yeah i'm
really open but if you want to really know ask like do a 360 and ask the people
who you're kind of scared to ask because they will tell you the truth you know
when you meet me does it look like Does it feel like I am ready for a healthy relationship?
(30:52):
Does it look that I, does it feel like I'm ready to welcome in a healthy relationship into my life?
Or do I seem distracted, sort of career oriented, not single?
It's amazing how sometimes you can kind
of give off a non-single vibe or a disinterested vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Indeed ah well well the spiciness is matching the temperature outside.
(31:19):
It's bad some of this is just really fascinating isn't it i mean when you kind of
and the i guess the link between the hot topic and the
question is like you know if somebody just wants companionship then
is that kind of like would you go down that technological route to kind of get
that i don't know like and i don't i don't know where we'll end as society i
don't know what will kind of happen and or unfold in the next sort of 50 years
(31:41):
oh my gosh nobody does and if they did just in to see there would be a kachillion there.
So yeah it is it's fascinating stuff i agree but lean into relationship,
keep sharpening your skills but we wouldn't be
doing what we're doing if we weren't advocates of it exactly and
(32:03):
like hey our jobs as coaches may be taken
over by ai but the need for relationship
will never go away so long as humans are humans we
might be able to or think that we can replace it by ai but i think that good
old analog is here to stay at some point in time it'll always come back in fashion
(32:24):
just like the color black can't go wrong with that in your wardrobe indeed indeed.
All righty so you you best
get prepared for your guests advising i'm getting
prepared they're coming middle of the night tonight and
so i'm getting a good collection of good fruits and
season ready for them and uh hoping for the best and hoping
(32:46):
that the beds are comfortable and yeah nice and the air conditioners are working
yes yeah well it's always nice to catch up with all friends on on different
soil oh my gosh totally and day drink nothing you should always but if you're
on vacation with your bestie coming over from the other side of the planet,
you'll be day drinking well the summer's the perfect time to do it oh my gosh
(33:10):
totally up on the roof we'll spend our dusk hours hopefully when it cools down
a bit up on the roof so i'll i'll i'll let you know i'll let you know how it
goes good we'll wait for the update yeah.
Music.
Music.
(00:27):
Hello, everyone. Hello. And tell us, Miss Jetsetter, which country are you in today?
I'm back in Athens. Oh, yeah. And it's hot, hot, hot there.
Oh, my gosh. It is. It's crazy. I was like, it's 40. I'm like,
no, it's only 34. But it's a warm 34.
Oh, my gosh. No, it's lovely to be back. I definitely like my life here.
(00:50):
So I just went to the market today.
My lovely friends are coming tomorrow to visit with their kids.
And so I picked up a bunch of fruits.
Lovely apricots peaches nectarines all these things very bursting with flavor
tomatoes so i'm excited i'm excited
and all the cheese is oh my god it's wonderful luxury here yeah yeah.
(01:11):
Don't get me started about food because you know how much i love it
oh my gosh oh my gosh yeah well and
also thinking about travel when do you think you're
where do i always love like hearing about where you're headed because you
travel way more than i do and i'm now
in europe like I have no excuse but anyways where are you
going next I am off to Leeds at
(01:31):
the weekend for my daughter's graduation oh so that
is my next trip can you imagine graduation from
university crazy no we're gone that's just wild no so yeah it's a bit of me
that's kind of glad just all of this concentration of kind of activity that
you know it's kind of all come in one burst and then And I think after that,
(01:53):
I just want to kind of settle a little bit. Yeah.
Oh, wonderful. Yes. Awesome. But yeah, no, I'm looking forward to it. Be nice.
Oh my gosh. Are you going to cry? I don't know. Like...
I don't know. We'll see. That's so funny. Oh my gosh. I don't know what it would
be like to see my kiddo cross the stage.
I'd probably be crying and remembering when they were a babe in the arms.
(02:17):
Yeah. I don't know. We'll see. It's lovely for her to just kind of finish off
what is quite an intense period of your life.
And yeah, have that kind of ceremony to celebrate it all is great.
Yeah. Oh, to everybody graduating or having somebody that they have loved and
supported financially through this graduate, congratulations.
(02:40):
It's been a long haul. It's a wonderful season. Yeah.
So, yes, all is good. Beautiful. Do you have any travel plans booked?
I suppose you've just come back, so.
Oh, yeah. That's a really good question. and probably spending time in the village
area in August, which is what Greeks do is they leave Athens,
(03:01):
the big cities, and they go to the countryside.
So the tourists hang out in Santorini. Regular Greek people just go to the non-touristy
places to relax, banho, go to the beach, and drink Frito-Cappuccino under sun umbrellas.
Very nice. I know, I know. So I'm looking forward to like checking out with
(03:23):
the Greeks too over the summer. Yeah.
No jobs bureaucracy is getting done in August and the month of August.
The whole country kind of shuts down bureaucratically.
So yeah, just something to keep in mind. If I want to get any paperwork done
in that month, I'll just have to wait for another month, which is what it is
like in Greece. Things don't exactly move fast here anyways.
(03:44):
Well, it's too hot to move fast, right? Very true. It is one of those countries. Yes, indeed.
Yeah. Okay. Well, let's hop on over to the relationship desk of love.
What's going on over there? That's indeed.
I've got a nice little quote for you today, just to see if we can warm you up
and get your little love juices flowing. Oh, okay.
(04:06):
So the quote is, there are no perfect husbands and no perfect wives,
but if you will keep believing in each other, there will be plenty of perfect
moments in your marriage oh truer words were not spoken.
We do think like everything should be perfect i don't know where where this
(04:28):
concept came from that we're trying to live up to this ideal kind of life that
you know we're all kind of,
aspiring to and then getting really disappointed when it doesn't
quite kind of measure up that to that level of
expectation and it's just I mean it's
just not real right oh true and I've
had yet again another conversation with a creative that I
(04:50):
coach and she's another person that's going
to be doing an Instagram strike you know just
having to live up to the perfection that people curate on Instagram it really
does prevent people of high integrity very creative people from posting their
stuff just because they sort of see themselves as kind of having to live up
(05:12):
to an ideal that is true for nobody.
I think in the, in the realm of relationship, what really gets us is this,
our language that we use in the infatuation stage of a new relationship.
We're like, he's so perfect for me.
So we say that he's so perfect for me. And that sets us up for our own failure.
We, we should be careful, like words matter and we should be careful.
(05:33):
Like, is he perfect for you? Or are you seeing some very encouraging signs of
compatibility that may indicate that when the infatuation stage?
It sort of evolves into the next stage and that
that you guys do have possibly the core
ingredients to do hard things together there's no
(05:55):
such thing as perfection it's not quite as fun though as it's saying kind of
oh we are doing into it it's so true of solidifying our relationship where that's
just not who we are like we do want to kind of have these head rushy moments
where we're like Like, oh,
my God, this guy is perfect or this girl is perfect.
(06:15):
But I get it. You know, we're not. None of us are.
No. So we are all fundamentally flawed as human beings.
But we can have some perfect moments. And I've just been thinking about some
recent perfect moments that have been just incredible.
Just moments to savor. But like anything, again, Phil Stutz,
I mean, happiness is a brief period between two points of big challenge,
(06:40):
right? Right. This is the bit of levity that we get.
It's that weightlessness on that sort of like flight up, you know,
those flights you can take to the edge of the atmosphere where you go up and
then you start going down.
But that weightlessness for like, I don't know, is it 30 seconds of weightlessness?
Anyways, that's kind of like happiness, fleeting.
(07:02):
And you have to go to the edge of the earth to get it. it yes
with each other that is what we do as we go to the edge of the earth with each
other that's the level to which we stretch ourselves no easy feet guys relationship
yeah all right nice all right now we've got us going.
(07:28):
Music.
Ai and companionship oh oh
gosh i mean all of us are pretty scared about losing our job and maybe our relevance
(07:50):
too of partnership and being a spouse truly if if just talking about perfection
if indeed ai could serve up the perfect relationship it could put a lot of us out
of a jar what are your
thoughts well do you know i can kind of
you can think about this from a few different angles really
(08:11):
i think so and i've got two kind of
real opposite kind of views on it so i could
see if you know i heard a radio program
the other the other week and they were talking about ai for companionship
for elderly relatives and kind
of is that something that's like a good thing or a bad thing and
again you know you had kind of opposing views on one side it
(08:32):
was like well actually if that would have really kind
of helped my kind of mum in her last days just to
have kind of feel like she had some sort of connection on the other extreme
you know people can say well you know is that just going to replace the fact
that you know you're no longer going to go and visit your relatives because
you kind of think they're sorted and therefore they're missing out on that kind
of actual human connection so there were two kind of like extremes and this.
(08:57):
Other lady was saying well no that wouldn't have happened for me I would have
still wanted to visit my mom but you're working you've got kind of you know
your own family it's very difficult you can't be there kind of 24 7 and that
would have just been a little bit of something to kind of add on to it I think
when we think about it more from a kind of dating perspective as opposed to.
(09:17):
That companionship in kind of later life when you've maybe kind of lost your your partner,
it kind of scares me a little bit because I really
do think where is you know
where where do we end in terms of kind of relationships
are fundamental to who we are as
human beings they've always been you know an
integral part of the kind of fabric of
(09:39):
human society and whether that's romantic relationships
or other kind of relationships we kind of thrive
we are supposed to be surrounded by other
people and I get kind of
concerned about this whole kind of relationship side whether you
know at what stage do you we're all you already hear of
people saying well actually I'm not positive I'm in a relationship or
(10:01):
not quite happy to be single that like
I don't need that kind of special somebody in
my life and I'm just wondering are we kind of drifting far
too way far away from a
kind of you know the traditional sense of a relationship and now
when you layer on the kind of ai technology and if you could sit on your couch
(10:22):
and have a conversation with some robotic ai and that kind of fills that that
gap in that space like you know is there a tendency or a danger that that's
where we're going to end up i think so too because communication.
Whether intimate or otherwise is like this really delicate
skill and finesse it
(10:42):
takes years to cultivate and it takes it takes a lot of exposure to different
types of people because everybody is so different and i wonder if ai and i haven't
interacted with it i'm not sure what it would be like to interact with ai in
an intimate way my assumption and i'm not quite sure if this is right,
is that AI will forgive a lot of our unpolished sort of communication strategies
(11:06):
and be overly forgiving,
perhaps, whereas a human being, we will misinterpret, we'll take things wrong,
we will have our emotional reactions. We're very complicated.
And it takes skill to learn how to communicate with a human.
So will there be people who actually don't pick up the skills or they lose the
skills of human interaction so that there's not even a question of whether AI
(11:29):
will take over, it might be that there's no going back.
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's that side of it, that losing that kind of skill,
that ability to be able to have kind of regular conversations and interact with somebody.
My kind of worry is that all of that kind of side of it does just disappear.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's a great, well.
(11:53):
That disappears our expectation for perfection,
our ability to tolerate the real life, just like those garments,
those beautiful silk garments where there's a little tag on them to say that
the imperfections are part of the garment. They're a feature, they're not a bug.
They're to be embraced and loved with all the other beautiful aspects of the garment.
(12:14):
So just will we become intolerant to human imperfection?
Yeah and you know as a kid sort
of analog pre-computer raised in the
80s or with fledgling computers computers that
did basic word processing and maybe some simple games but not
much we certainly didn't walk around with phones so I'm just you
know I remember a long expense hours and
(12:37):
hours of time spent analog and it's actually still the
way that I liked I like to leave my phone at home
and and not be in the
world with technology and just be analog with
my five senses and i i wonder am i just kind of a
dinosaur will human beings no longer
have that taste for analog experiences i think
(12:58):
some of it will depend on i mean i think
a lot of it's linked to the kind of mental health crisis as well that
we're in the midst of and i think
there will come a point where society goes hang
on a minute we have gone straight kind of far too far
from the path of where we should be and I think then you know just as you're
(13:18):
saying a client who's saying no I'm gonna have a kind of digital detox I'm gonna
switch off for a bit because we do then realize the impact that it's having
and I think with all of this we will see a kind of turning point where
people come back to that kind of needing and wanting that relationship.
The challenge though is that we may then want, but how on earth do we create it?
(13:44):
If we have been raised, and by we I mean younger generations,
raised on digital romantic experiences, it's very hard too because we can presume
that people will want to go back.
I could be wrong, but if we look at history, history, people rarely go back.
We're always moving forward. We're so adaptable as a species that we take whatever
(14:07):
we have in the present as the new normal.
And so analog might just fall out of favor, fall out of taste.
People, although I should say fashion trends come back, right?
So we do have some elements of these old, rustic vintage.
We do like vintage as a sort of a stylistic kind of plus in our lives.
But I don't know. Oh, that's a good question. I don't know if people will see
(14:31):
the need to go back to the simple. I'm not sure.
I'll probably till I die be a champion of analog experiences.
I'll, you know, be out enjoying my analog experiences, but I don't know if I'm
going to have company. That's a good question.
Well, if in doubt, you can just try and put a bit of digital in the mix as well. Yeah, that's true.
(14:52):
But, you know, because I see people both relationship as well as in the clinic.
So I certainly see the oppressive burden of the mental health crisis of people
trying to connect, but getting farther and farther away from each other.
So I see all of that many, all the facets of where I work.
And so if there are people who are recognizing that connecting with other human
(15:13):
beings is integral to their mental health and their wellness recovery journey,
then if I coach around that, I think what's important to get back into or to
maybe start to learn or to flex or to develop skills for interacting with human beings.
If you feel like you've kind of been down the digital rabbit hole for a while,
it's really important to start slow, be judgmental on yourself.
(15:37):
It's going to be an awkward start, you know, how to start common interest groups.
Meetup groups. Again, you know, how do we have relationships?
I don't know if necessarily I'd be like, go on Tinder or go on Bumble.
I don't know, like the dating apps. Yeah, but it's also a quagmire out there.
It may give you this false impression of, gosh, I think I should stay in the
digital realm because online dating sucks.
(15:58):
Sucks there's nothing like getting together with
people who share the same interest yeah even
as a gateway to romance yeah especially as
a gateway to romance as a lot of us as we coach people who are dating is you
know hobbies that you have that you've always thought about doing what if you
were to show up to something without an expectation of a romantic encounter
(16:21):
and go out and meet people And even just flexing your muscles for social communication.
Even platonic, is really, really helpful.
Do you want to say like a high proportion of people meet their partners at work?
You say you don't. No, I said don't there.
I think there is a... Well, they do, but here's the other crisis happening,
(16:42):
is because it is so fraught with issues in terms of an HR disaster,
updating somebody at work, because it's become such a no-no.
I think there's less and less, and I could be wrong,
but I think there are less and less people hooking up at work because there's not the same tolerance,
(17:02):
all the crazy, like, you know, rare is it that, that you have an online group
at work where there's like paperwork exchanged.
Hey, I'm interested in you. Would you like to go on a date? Sure.
Here's my NDA and my, you know, sort of 12 page contract. And this is what's allowed.
This is what's not. We've cleared it with HR. There's not a power differential.
No, you're usually at a work party getting drunk. One thing leads to the other.
(17:25):
So just saying like, it's all those kind of organic,
you know, having one too many at the work party like that
is often how i've heard a lot of people have actually
turned that interest in each
other into like a spark that actually takes off yeah but alas i think everything
has gotten more complicated these days i think it feels it but i don't know
(17:45):
if that's just because we're getting older and i think you get a bit more weary
around some of it you haven't quite got the same fresh younger energy that you had that is so true would
have kind of, none of these things really would have entered into your headspace.
Absolutely. Just kind of stuff that happens. So I think that's the difference.
Absolutely. And full on, you're absolutely right.
(18:07):
And there's so many things, if I look back, I'm like, God, I wouldn't have the
energy to do it again. Like all my post-secondary schooling, actually.
As I hear about your daughter crossing the stage, I'm like, good God,
that must have been hard.
But I had all the energy in the world. as a doctor like
i mean yeah but i was coming out of
my undergrad being like all right time for med school time for
(18:29):
my math you know i was ready to go so you're right
like they're you know my fatigue i should not impose on the younger generation
because they have all the energy in the world to do all the silly things that
i did when i was that much so well yeah and let's hope they carry on doing that
and two maybe don't quite resort to ai for your only source of companionship Oh, gracious.
(18:50):
No, listen, like everything, learn from mistakes, stumble and fall,
get back up again. That's how we learn. Just do it.
Fall and fall and fall over again, and eventually you'll start to walk. Yeah, indeed.
All right. Shall we?
Music.
(19:15):
I've been in a relationship with a married man for 18 years.
I've called it off about six months ago. And since then, I've bounced from fling
to fling. But there's something wrong with all of them.
I'm in my later years, and I just want some companionship. I don't know what I'm doing.
This is maybe a more on the one side, like this is more of a more extreme example.
(19:38):
Example, but I, we coach people all the time who are aware that they tend to
be attracted to people who are not available for true commitment.
And they don't tend to feel attracted to people who are, or at least they say
that they're, so there's definitely a pattern here.
So I would say that this 18 year relationship with a married person,
(20:00):
that, that is like the ultimate, you can be guaranteed that this person was
never going to leave their partner.
They may have said so. So, but you knew that they wouldn't and that's what made them safe. Yeah.
And so now this feels very exposed and very unsafe because there's people who
are actually open and willing to actually have a commitment with you.
(20:21):
So that's my kind of hit is, you know, getting into what are the messages that
you're telling yourself about your worthiness to receive a commitment,
your worthiness for unconditional love.
Yeah. Yeah. I think definitely the pattern side of it is there, isn't it?
So if you're staying in a relationship with somebody for 18 years,
knowing that they're never actually going to be fully yours,
(20:42):
because I think you do in the back of your mind, you know that,
you're doing that by choice.
So that's your choice to be in that type of relationship that isn't ever actually
going to be fully available for you.
I think since then, the kind of, you know, bouncing from kind of,
you know, fling to fling, again,
it's the same, it's exactly the same pattern, isn't it? It's kind of.
(21:03):
Going to date these, you know, assuming it's a guy, I'm going to date these
guys that are unavailable and I'm just going to continue to be dissatisfied
with all of them and never really truly get the thing that I do want.
But I would also doubt in this situation whether they know what they want.
Oh gosh, of course they don't. And most of us don't.
(21:26):
In this instance, what is your how do you coach around discovering what you
want and importantly here try to avoid.
Using like well I don't want this and I don't want
that because we like take out
a blank slate and say you know these are things these are the qualities
I am looking for not just the then photographic
(21:48):
negative doesn't anybody remember what those are the photographic negative
all the things you didn't appreciate in your
last relationships yeah yeah i think
it is around that kind of you know using a series of
tools to do that exploration and really
raise that level of awareness to get crystal
clear about who it is that you want to be with and it's not about
(22:10):
saying i want to have a you know six foot broad
dark whatever kind of
person and really listing out know all of those physical characteristics
although some of that you know might be important to you
but I think for me a lot of the time it is around kind of
what's the type of person that you want you know this person
says that just want companionship okay well
(22:32):
what does companionship look like for you how how often would you see this person
how what sort of things would you be doing together how would that make you
feel so really starting to identify that on a kind of you know on an experience
basis not just on a kind of here's my physical features that i'm after,
because for me there's a there's a fit isn't there there's there's a.
(22:56):
Being in a in a relationship with somebody for 18 years where
there isn't really true alignment because you're only
ever getting kind of part of that person because they can't
give in more than that because they're married yeah what's also
important what I discovered is I didn't
see incompatibility in my previous relationships until
I until I was shown compatibility
(23:18):
and then I I realized that there were a
lot of so so as I if I were to sort of reverse engineer or
go back I would I would I would take an
inventory of all the things I find quite awesome about myself
and of course that that requires confidence in yourself that's an ongoing lifelong
challenge a lot of us have come from a non-confident place and we're growing
(23:39):
in our confidence we're on a confidence journey but like I have kind of a list
of things I find are pretty cool about me but they're pretty quirky and they're
not to everybody's taste.
They're kind of like truffle oil. Some people like it and some people don't.
So if I were to sort of go back, I would say, okay, these are the things I really love about myself.
And so what I'm looking for is somebody who compliments, who likes those flavors.
(24:04):
And so that's something you can kind of look for on dates one,
two, or three. Like, is this person, do they like my quirky sense of humor?
Do they like the fact that I'm frugal? And do they kind of match with that or at least compliment it?
Yeah. Do they admire me for the things? Do they show admiration for the things
that I admire about myself?
Because a lot of us will get into a relationship where we feel like we have
(24:27):
to play small because our traits are seen as an annoyance to somebody else.
So what we will often do is we'll hide parts of ourselves so that we can't,
I don't know what game we're trying to play because eventually they just leak
out. I can't hide myself.
I can suppress myself for a little while, but eventually I leak out.
And if I'm just annoying to somebody or if parts of me turn them off where I
(24:52):
kind of have to tiptoe, that's just not going to work.
And I don't know about you guys, but I have spent a lot of time in a relationship where I.
My cool things were actually seen as defects
and so when it's when
you're with somebody who's like oh my god those are total features it's like that's
amazing that's amazing so i think i really wanted to spend a
(25:14):
disproportionate amount of time flagging that out
yeah what am i looking for somebody who really
likes my flavors yeah you know that that's
that we're kind of saying isn't that there's somebody out there for everybody and there
really truly is because we are all unique
in our our own way in terms of how we see the
world look at the world how we present ourselves in that world how
(25:36):
we show up every day and it is about finding
somebody that appreciates the kind of who you are and what you've got but also
you can appreciate and understand them as well and that's when you start to
get this this real kind of alignment you know you both want the same things
out of relationship it's no good if one person wants just pure companionship and maybe somebody to.
(25:58):
Kind of travel with and the other person's like no I want to move
in with somebody I want to like I might be in my later years
but I want to get married again or it's important for
me to commit to somebody fully and 100% so getting really kind of in that position
where you can understand actually what does an ideal relationship look like
for you what does it look like for me and they're never going to truly match
(26:21):
but is there enough there that we can kind of you know
work on this and kind of you know take
the steps that we need to to make it a solid solid relationship with
a solid foundation because that's what it takes for
a relationship to be successful you've got to have a really
solid foundation and that can only come from kind
of the time that it takes to learn each other and understand each other and
(26:46):
be willing and open to want to do that gosh yeah absolutely and i can't say
enough because now i understand what it is of compatibility the less bridges
that you have to cross to come onto the same ground.
The easier that it will be the more familiar it is just there's many like the
(27:07):
this infatuation phase can really mislead us and and make us romanticize the
differences and i think all of us have to like go off and do crazy things when
you're young and find the most sort of
uncanny person to date.
And a lot of us have to sort of, you know, learn from hard knocks.
But the more that your philosophies, your values align, you know,
(27:31):
the boring stuff, really the better off you are.
Yeah and you'll generally find people when
you're doing the activities that you really love doing not just
the activities that they say that you find some good
good people there I mean if you meet at a
bar but and that might be you might
be somebody who doesn't often spend time in the bar and you
(27:53):
just happen to be there and what a cool thing that that
person was there too anyways yeah yeah I
think the yeah the other thing I would say is
maybe like just spend a bit of time on your own like because
there's this kind of continuous we all see like we need to
be in a relationship like all of the time otherwise we're
not kind of I don't know we're somehow not a valid member of
(28:14):
society but you know why not just take a little bit of time out and actually
try and figure out some of the things that you do enjoy doing what else brings
you kind of joy and then maybe in the process of that you might actually come
across somebody who is very like-minded and you have you
know, some sort of wider connection with them.
(28:36):
Totally. And it can be very hard to sort of distinguish your readiness for a
new relationship from peer pressure and societal pressure.
Because there's this whole like, oh, I should be in a relationship.
If I'm not, what does that say about me?
But like, and definitely working with people is that if you're not meeting anybody, are you ready?
Because that is very likely a sign that somehow you're not ready or that in
(29:00):
the video game of life, you were meant to take another journey or two and accumulate
another experience or another skill before meeting somebody new. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's a complicated business, isn't it? It is.
You find those that are in relationships don't want to be in relationships,
those that don't want to be in, and we just get caught up in this kind of messiness in the middle.
(29:23):
And the messiest is trying to figure out, like, why do I attract a bunch of unavailable people?
Yeah. and and a lot of people now have this a
reckoning of like okay all right must be something
that i'm looking for right or that i
am seeming unavailable to the
people who would be good partners and would be available so so the
(29:45):
recognition is one thing that's a very brave move but then what do you
do with that like and we're not asking be attracted
to somebody you're not attracted to that is not the answer no
no no no i think it's getting to grips with the kind of
where's the fear factor coming from what is it that
about a relationship that would absolutely terrify you if it was
more than just companionship or you
(30:05):
know being the kind of the other woman what is
it about that if it was more than that that would absolutely
terrify the life out of you well and
because that fear is coming like energy not
in a weird way energy matters that you're meeting people all
the time every day yeah when they look at you
in a supermarket across the coffee shop at
(30:28):
a party friend of a friend what do they see do
they see somebody who's like totally available for relationship or
do you look closed off and that like and you may seem you may feel oh yeah i'm
really open but if you want to really know ask like do a 360 and ask the people
who you're kind of scared to ask because they will tell you the truth you know
when you meet me does it look like Does it feel like I am ready for a healthy relationship?
(30:52):
Does it look that I, does it feel like I'm ready to welcome in a healthy relationship into my life?
Or do I seem distracted, sort of career oriented, not single?
It's amazing how sometimes you can kind
of give off a non-single vibe or a disinterested vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Indeed ah well well the spiciness is matching the temperature outside.
(31:19):
It's bad some of this is just really fascinating isn't it i mean when you kind of
and the i guess the link between the hot topic and the
question is like you know if somebody just wants companionship then
is that kind of like would you go down that technological route to kind of get
that i don't know like and i don't i don't know where we'll end as society i
don't know what will kind of happen and or unfold in the next sort of 50 years
(31:41):
oh my gosh nobody does and if they did just in to see there would be a kachillion there.
So yeah it is it's fascinating stuff i agree but lean into relationship,
keep sharpening your skills but we wouldn't be
doing what we're doing if we weren't advocates of it exactly and
(32:03):
like hey our jobs as coaches may be taken
over by ai but the need for relationship
will never go away so long as humans are humans we
might be able to or think that we can replace it by ai but i think that good
old analog is here to stay at some point in time it'll always come back in fashion
(32:24):
just like the color black can't go wrong with that in your wardrobe indeed indeed.
All righty so you you best
get prepared for your guests advising i'm getting
prepared they're coming middle of the night tonight and
so i'm getting a good collection of good fruits and
season ready for them and uh hoping for the best and hoping
(32:46):
that the beds are comfortable and yeah nice and the air conditioners are working
yes yeah well it's always nice to catch up with all friends on on different
soil oh my gosh totally and day drink nothing you should always but if you're
on vacation with your bestie coming over from the other side of the planet,
you'll be day drinking well the summer's the perfect time to do it oh my gosh
(33:10):
totally up on the roof we'll spend our dusk hours hopefully when it cools down
a bit up on the roof so i'll i'll i'll let you know i'll let you know how it
goes good we'll wait for the update yeah.
Music.
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