August 18, 2025 • 51 mins
What happens when life throws you a curveball—like an unexpected family crisis—right in the middle of running your business? In this episode, we’re digging into that exact challenge with Julie Loughlin Haers, co-founder of Breathe Capital Planning.
Julie brings not only her professional expertise but also her personal experiences navigating the tricky space where business finances, personal responsibilities, and family emergencies collide. We talk about why reserve funds aren’t just a “nice to have,” but a lifeline, and how open conversations about money can help you steer clear of misunderstandings—or even financial abuse—in personal relationships.
We also dive into:
- The real emotional toll of balancing entrepreneurship with caring for aging parents.
- How to build financial resilience so a crisis doesn’t sink your business.
- Why transparency in shared finances matters more than you think.
- The unique pressures faced by the sandwich generation—and why community support is crucial.
This isn’t just a money talk—it’s about financial literacy as self-care. By the end, you’ll feel more equipped to protect your independence, prepare for the unexpected, and create a financial plan that works for both your business and your life.
Mentioned in this episode:
A little more about Julie:
Co-founder of Breathe Capital Planning and Consulting LLC Located in Rochester, NY and operating in multiple states in the nation.
Founder Divine Abundance streaming show on ROKU, You Tube exploring living your most aligned life.
An inspired motivational speaker and presenter focused on sharing more love and kindness in the world through sharing stories of overcoming.
A spirit led financial advisor that focuses on connecting to what resonates for her client.
A nurturing business- woman who values and cultivates life- long relationships with her clients and friends.
A published author of the book “Surrender to Rise” – an anthology book of inspiring stories of women across the US who have turned struggle into strength and success.
Divorce Coach in 2025 received her certification from CDC, coach for Insight Divorce Solutions.
Co-host of “The Women’s Retreat” in Sept 2025 In Rochester, NY
Mentioned in this episode:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:45):
Foreign.
Welcome back to anotherepisode of Getting Real with Bossy.
We are your hosts, Kelly Bushand Kelly Mattress.
(01:06):
How are you today?
First of all, it's your birthday.
What?
I don't know.
I'm in my office.
I don't know if you can seebehind me.
That's my happy birthday signfrom years ago.
I love it.
And that's Pacey Witter,Jonathan or Joshua Jackson from Dawson's
(01:28):
Creek.
My Dawson's Creek poster with my.
My own picture cut out next tohim because I'm obsessed with him.
If he's listening, I.
You're my hall pass.
Give me a call.
It's your birthday.
It's my birthday.
It's my 50th birthday.
I don't see any other reason.
And what are you doing todayon your most important half a century
(01:50):
birthday?
Well, I'm working.
Of course I'm working.
And talking to us.
I've got some interviews andI'm meeting with a friend who is
actually so funny that we'redoing this today and talking about
money and financial planning.
She is working to get herselfout of debt.
So I went through consumercredit consolidation when I was trying
(02:14):
to get out of debt.
And I am now going to sit withher at 3 o' clock to help her go
through that process.
And after that I am going toget ready for a paint night here
at work.
Thanks.
And we're doing.
And we're doing abirthaversary dinner tomorrow because
our anniversary's on Friday.
(02:34):
So.
Yeah, we're doingbirthaversary dinner.
I like birthiversary.
Yeah.
It's like Aaron and I have thetwo anniversaries so we get to pick
which day works better.
Yeah.
So you can be like, oh, it'sour anniversary and my birthday so
I could pick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we're doing birthanniversary dinner tomorrow and then
we leave for Pennsylvania on Friday.
Awesome.
(02:55):
Oh, we're both going out of town.
I know.
Will the world still turn?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I don't think so either.
But we won't be here to see it.
So stay tuned to find goodluck Rochester this weekend.
Who knows what will happen?
No clue.
No clue.
But today we're going to talkabout some super happy birthday topics.
(03:17):
Money, money, money, money.
Almost done with our money.
Our money.
Summer of money or summer of Money.
If we're not making.
We're making it.
We're gonna talk about it.
And we have Julie, JulieLaughlin Hares, who is the co founder
of Breathe Capital Planning,who we both adore.
(03:40):
So she's gonna talk to usabout what she does and all the crap
she's been through this yearand how it's made her even better
if it's possible at her joband what she's doing.
Super fun way to spend your birthday.
So I hope all of the listenersout there appreciate that you've
(04:01):
donated this time today for them.
Feel free to celebrate bysharing us and sharing the word of
what we do at Bossy andsharing our posts.
And you're always welcome tomake a financial donation to Bossy
or get be a sponsor.
We would love that.
(04:22):
We're always looking forsponsors for our podcast.
Yeah, I think it'd be the bestbirthday present other than Joshua
Jackson.
Okay.
Second best birthday present.
Second best birthday presentwould be to be a sponsor of our podcast.
We would love that.
You can reach out to us@bossyrockgmail.com.
that's bossy.
B O S S Y rock, R O C. Becausewe keep the K's for us.
(04:45):
Yeah, the K's.
Yeah.
All right.
We hope you enjoy this superupbeat episode.
(05:23):
Love it.
(05:44):
Okay.
And welcome back to anotherepisode of Getting Real with Bossy,
the podcast where we talkabout what it's actually like to
be a business owner.
And we're going to cover abunch of things today.
We have our guest here today,Julie Laughlin Harris.
She is the co founder ofBreathe Capital Planning.
She is a certified divorce coach.
(06:07):
She's about to give be aspeaker about financial abuse.
Before we got started and hitrecord, we were talking about the
dealing with the loss of aparent and running your business
at the same time.
So I'll be honest, I'm notsure exactly what we're going to
cover today, so you betterstay tuned.
Welcome back.
(06:29):
Well, thanks for having me.
I'm so excited to be here withboth of you.
So thank you for this time today.
This is exciting.
Very glad to have you.
Thank you.
We were just chatting beforewe actually started collectively
about how challenging it is tobe a business owner and experience
a hardship like a familymember getting very sick and the
(06:52):
fact that you may have to stepout of your business to temporarily
take care of that familymember and what is the impact going
to be on that business?
And I was sharing with Kelly,and Kelly, I couldn't have predicted
what happened to me about 24months ago.
And what started with my momgetting diagnosed with dementia,
followed by 30 days later mydad being diagnosed with an aggressive
(07:16):
form of cancer.
I couldn't prepare my businessfor it because I had no time.
Right.
Because happened and I wasright on top of it.
There will, there is going tobe an impact in anybody's business
when you go through, you know,helping your family members.
(07:36):
I actually had to step out ofthe business quite a bit to help
care for both of them until wecould hire care to help us.
And we were blessed enough tobe able to afford that.
And I just, it was a big eyeopener for me guys and it's made
me super passionate aboutthinking about a reserve fund in
(07:56):
your business.
One thing, you know, to reallythink about just having reserves,
maybe six to eight months ofworking capital, not a bad idea.
We typically would have three.
And then also the importanceof long term care planning, which
as a financial fiduciary, youknow, that is something that I'm
(08:19):
going to talk more about.
You know, I've, I'm like, youknow, this is really something that
needs to be addressed.
Well and I think that weexpect to talk about it about ourselves
as we age, but we don't thinkabout talking about it with our middle
aged children like those of ushere on this call.
Like there's that age of womenright now.
(08:41):
A lot of us had kids late inlife because we were living and doing
all of the amazing womanly things.
And then now you're goingthrough like perimenopause or menopause
and you have teens or youdon't have teens, but maybe you have
teens and you have parentsthat are aging and have issues and
need help and you're running a business.
(09:01):
Yeah, it all happened, Kelly,like you said.
At the same time my son wasgraduating from, from high school
which would have, should havebeen one of the happiest years of
my life.
Turned out to be one of thehardest years of my whole life.
And just the emotions of thatalone are overwhelming.
You know, you, you've nurturedthis little person up to a, to an
(09:23):
adult now and they're ready tospread their wings and fly and there's
so many emotions that you go through.
But then also this sandwichgeneration that we're called, where
our parents are aging and ourkids are coming up, we're kind of
stuck in the middle and it'sso expensive.
It's the most expensive yearI've ever had.
(09:43):
I'm like getting ready forcollege and all that comes with that.
And then, you know, justsupporting my family the best way
I could.
You know, it just, it, it, itwas unbelievable.
And the emotion, you know, wedon't even, we don't talk about this
a lot, but the emotionalimpact that it has on you as a business
(10:04):
owner too, I, I don't think weever take a minute to stop and, and
just kind of like be there forone another.
That's one thing that I dolove about your group.
Bossy, is it?
There are so many of us thatare entrepreneurs that when we come
together, there is a sharedspace and a shared community to be
like, just be real with eachother and have a conversation about
(10:27):
what's really happening inyour life.
And I think there's a lot tobe said for that.
I think what I found this yearis that at times it was very lonely.
I mean, it is.
We talk about it all the time.
Being a business owner is oneof the loneliest jobs in the world.
It's one of the reasons wecreated this.
(10:48):
Not to make light of all ofthese tragic things, but we know
as entrepreneurs, things don'tgo wrong when it's easy.
The POS doesn't go wrong, godown on Wednesday at 2:00'.
Clock.
It goes down on Friday nightat 7:30.
You know, families don't breakdown when it's convenient, when,
(11:09):
when everything's running smoothly.
And this is just anotherreason to have all of as much as
you can in order, have those,those rainy day funds, have those
things in place.
And I don't want to move onfrom what we're talking about, but
just to reinforce why theseconversations we've had all summer
are so important because thesethings just happen.
(11:30):
And you know, Kelly and I jokeabout it.
If you listen to our episodes,you know, back a year and a half
ago, two years ago, when Iliterally was talking to my therapist
about how, how we were goingto Denver.
And that's when I wasscheduling time to grieve the loss
of my father.
My father passed in May.
(11:51):
We went to Denver in August.
And it was like, that's when Ihave time.
Oh, and did you.
No.
No.
This is.
Maybe, maybe, maybe when I'mout on.
I have surgery on September9th and I've got to, I have to be
in bed for two weeks.
I think maybe then I, I will.
But like these, these are,this is just how it goes because
work has to happen.
(12:11):
And I think I, I appreciateyou, Julie, for bringing up bossy
and the, the support that we.
And that's why we are supportfirst, everything else second.
Because we need that.
I need to be able to havepeople to go to and just be like,
holy, yeah.
Dying inside.
But I still just also have tomake fish fries tonight because I
(12:32):
don't have a choice becauseeverybody's out.
Like, let's just be real, youknow, this.
We're all gonna go throughstuff and it's, it's amazing to have
other people to be able toturn to that are just there to like,
listen to you as you're goingthrough it.
Because you get it.
You guys, you've gone throughit yourselves.
And I think that that is.
(12:52):
There's a lot to be said for that.
So, really glad that I'm apart of the community and hope to
be more engaged this year, you guys.
I was kind of a missing personfor the past year, so.
Well, and I think that anotherthing that we don't talk about because
we do talk about money andobviously in the back of our heads
we know about having reservesand we don't think about it as needing
(13:16):
it for our parents passing,but you need it for whatever emergency
arises.
And that's probably, you know,that might be the thing that comes
up that you need it for, butthe emotional tasking of it.
Anything that's going onthat's a cool crisis in your, your
personal life or even in your business.
And it's a financial impact of that.
Because like you said, we'reintegral parts of our business.
(13:37):
And when we're not all on,we're losing money.
Yeah, right.
We are.
You know, and it's, it's exhausting.
But we are human beings andwhen these things are happening and
we're not able to put our fullselves into it, whether it's time,
energy, or money, it has animpact on your business, Business.
And that just adds to the stress.
(13:58):
Totally.
It does and it did.
I just feel grateful that I'mlucky enough to have a fabulous business
partner that, you know, helpedme maintain and keep going through
really some really challenging times.
You know, really grateful.
Grateful to Noah, grateful toour team that really held it down
(14:20):
in the days that I justcouldn't be there because I was at
the hospital or at my parentshouse, you know, I was either one
of those two places and reallyblessed for the clients that I have
and the relationships thatwe've built.
And I was transparent withwhat was happening.
I was honest about things.
Like I wanted them to knowthat I hadn't gone anywhere, but
(14:40):
I was preoccupied a littlebit, but that Noah was there and
our team, our staff was thereto help and support them.
And my clients were amazing.
That's great.
Yeah.
I'm so blessed to have thepeople that we have you know, as
our clients, it's a huge blessing.
So, yeah, that was amazing.
(15:01):
And we've talked about that alot, especially since the pandemic.
You know, the ability to betransparent, the acceptance, the
desire for the community toactually see us as human beings and
not just this mythicalbusiness owner, not person thing
(15:22):
that nothing ever goes wrong with.
Right.
I mean, a lot of, I mean, it'spermission, we have permission now
to say it's just a little bittoo tough to open today.
It's a little bit too tough todo whatever.
And I think that's reallywonderful and I'm glad that that
was received and it's nice tosee that it's being received in all,
all areas of business.
(15:43):
Even the more, the more, the more.
Professional corporate worldthan ours where we can just be like,
ah, we need a break.
You can actually see howfrazzled we are.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
That's great.
I'm sorry you have to gothrough that, but has that affected
the conversations you'rehaving with your clients?
Oh my gosh, yes.
(16:03):
Because, guys, I've alwaysbeen passionate.
I started in insurance and thereason I started in insurance was
because insurance was the onlyasset that I had liquid to me at
the time I went through my divorce.
So I was passionate aboutmaking sure that people understood
insurance and how it can beused and like all those things.
So I came in to the businessthat way.
(16:25):
And then I learned about thisproduct that not many carriers have,
but a few do that has a wholelife policy with long term care kind
of wrapped into it as a rider.
The reason why the long termcare standalone companies have pretty
much evaporated out of NewYork is that the costs have escalated
so high that even if you didhave one of these policies, they're
(16:47):
almost impossible to havebecause it's so much money.
Because the cost in New York,and this is staggering.
And I learned so much on thisjourney with my mother.
If you need memory care andyour patient is immobile, meaning
they can't really do much forthemselves, you're looking at 20
to $25,000 a month for care.
(17:11):
Yeah.
And that was staggering.
And that was terrifying.
You know, if you don't needmemory care right now in our area,
our Rochester area, it's inthe $15,000.
You know, anywhere from, I sawpricing anywhere from 11,000 to,
to $15,000 a month.
Oh my goodness, those figureswere just jarring to me.
(17:35):
It was a huge wake up call.
And I got passionate aboutsharing this information with all
of our clients that are intheir 40s and 50s and 60s and being
like, hey, what's your plan?
Like, God forbid somethinghappens to you and you become sick
and you have to have care.
Do you guys have a plan?
Have you even, have you eventhought of it?
(17:57):
So I became passionate aboutsharing knowledge, educating people.
Here's what's available to you.
You know, we work under bestinterest standards, so we don't,
you know, demand ever, but weeducate, we, you know, teach people
about.
Here are your options.
What do you feel like is thebest fit for you?
We have some clients thatcould self insure through an event
(18:19):
like that, meaning that theycould afford to pay through that.
But I also think, do you wantto, like, do you want to go through
all your assets at the, youknow, maybe at the end of your life,
or would you rather have abuffer between yourself and that
facility so that you cantransfer more of your assets to your
next generation?
(18:41):
So, yeah, we became, I becamekind of passionate about it and made
sure that, you know, Iactually went back and looked at
some of our clients andactually called people and said,
hey, I would love to have afollow up meeting with you to just
educate you about some thingsthat I've learned.
And they really appreciated it.
You know, just even theeducation alone about, you know,
(19:01):
what I learned on that journey.
I learned a lot about themedical system too, guys.
My little journey.
And I learned that you, youhave to be a very strong advocate
for your loved ones.
I experienced some really goodthings in some of our local hospitals
and some really tough things.
(19:24):
And I just learned a lot.
It's what I'll say about that.
I just learned a lot.
We've got some great doctorsand nurses here in Rochester.
We really do.
And then we have areas for improvement.
So I learned that andeverywhere in between.
So it was a great, it was, insome ways it was helpful, you know,
(19:44):
to go through that learning.
Sure.
And in one of the must, mustbe nice situations, you know, we
generally have someflexibility in our hours and we can,
you know, I recently wentthrough doctor's appointments for
my dad with his health and,you know, it was a great opportunity
and probably a marriage saver.
(20:04):
If you're listening.
Hi parents.
But we joke about it nowbecause I was like their middleman.
So when they would fight aboutwhat the doctor said, even though
we were all in the room, Icould be like, oh no, this is what
the doctor said.
And I was like the impartial person.
I had that flexibility.
And not only did I get to feellike I Knew what was happening, but
(20:26):
also I got to help them with that.
And.
Yeah, that was nice.
Yeah, it is nice.
That is.
It is definitely a nice.
But at the same time, I thinkthen left the appointments and went
into work and pretended likeeverything's great and dealing with
the public and my employeeswho don't understand the life that
we're leading at this agebecause most of them are younger,
(20:47):
you know, for my business anyways.
And it's like, oh, yeah,everything's great.
Don't know if my dad's gonnabe alive.
It's cool.
Like, yeah, it's hard.
It is a.
It is a nice part.
I've always said theflexibility allotment is the nice
part.
But sometimes that flexibilitydoes cost us money and there are
times that we are.
Cannot be flexible and wedon't have a choice.
(21:10):
Yeah, right.
I, I feel grateful also.
I will give a shout out to mybrother and sister in law because
there are.
They know that I'm selfemployed and they are not self employed.
So there would be times whereI'd be like, tim, I really can't
miss this or that.
Like, this is.
I can't.
These are things I can't miss.
And he would cover me, youknow, And I feel really blessed that
(21:33):
I have a brother that has beenlike, I could get very emotional
guys right now that has beenin the trenches with me.
Wow.
You need that support person.
Yeah.
You can't do it alone.
I can't imagine going throughall of that alone.
(21:55):
Yeah.
And you know, the support ofmy, my own child, you know, as he
reaches adulthood and had tolike encounter all the adult decisions
that I went through.
He was amazing too.
Like, he would literally belike, okay, no problem, I'll go pick
up grandma.
Grandma has to go see like aneurologist or had to do this or
(22:17):
had to do that.
And you know, my brother and Iare trying to.
It may be a day that we bothhad commitments, we couldn't leave.
And my son would get out ofschool early because he would, you
know, had that flexibility inhis schedule and show up and says
a lot about someone'scharacter at 19 when they can do
that.
(22:37):
So really blessed.
And I'm sure, I'm sure aboutyour character too.
Thanks, friend.
You raised him.
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
And my significant other,like, you know, holding it down for
me.
I don't know if I would havefared as well as I did without all
of these people.
So I feel really blessed for that.
(22:57):
I'm sure there's Listenersthat are like, oh, you shouldn't
ever have to miss anyimportant family event or you shouldn't
have to choose ever.
And.
And that's just not the lifethat we're living.
That's not reality.
No.
To the listeners that might berolling their eyes at this point,
point in the conversation,just take a moment to be empathetic.
You know, obviously we'regoing to make the best choices for
(23:19):
us in these situations as wehandle them, just like we are with
our finances and how we'regoing to navigate the low points
while we're dealing witheverything else.
I think that knowing othertopics we're going to get into today,
I think this is a good restingpoint to remind everybody that whether
or not you think you wouldever get in this situation or handle
this situation.
Situation that well, we allhandle things as we can and we only
(23:42):
know what we know.
And that this is a greatopportunity to learn something new.
Right?
Absolutely.
Thanks, Kelly, for that.
That was, that was great.
The other topic that we weretalking about off air, guys, that
we were like, oh, this is agood one, is financial abuse.
And what, what is it and whatdoes it look like?
(24:04):
I'm passionate about sharingthis information.
And, and in fact, we'll be atthe Willow Domestic Violence Gala
this year talking on this very topic.
When is that date so we cansay it a bunch of times?
Yep.
October 10th.
Thank you.
Yep.
And they told me location 2TBD, but yep.
(24:28):
So really excited about that.
You know, what does that look like?
That can be.
Whenever you're hiding thingsfrom your partner, that is a form
of, like, disrespect and thatlack of transparency, especially
if your partner is relying ona joint income situation to live.
(24:49):
So as we're, as we're coachingand as we're advising couples, we
are very much like, you needto work in a financial system that
works for both of you.
So we're open to people thatlike to do everything joint, people
that like to do everythingseparate or a hybrid of that.
Right.
But I think when we get intotrouble is when we keep secrets and
(25:13):
hide financial informationfrom the other partner that could,
in fact, impact that partner.
And I'll give you an exampleof some of these things that I've
seen over the years.
I had a person very close tome that she came home one day and
there was all these tax billsin the mail, and she was in the middle
(25:34):
of a divorce, and she said,what are all these tax bills?
And the husband said, well, Ibought a bunch of property.
It's in both of our nameswithout her consent, without her
knowledge.
She, she was on the hook nowfor all this tax, taxes and property
that she did not consent to.
(25:56):
And I'm like, well, that'sgotta be illegal.
And in fact was.
But the bigger picture withthat is like that lack of transparency
and the lack of communicationis really what can lead to really
uncomfortable and borderlineabusive financial situations.
(26:17):
So people don't always thinkof it like that.
Like, oh, that's, thatperson's not being abused.
They're, you know, they're,they're physically not being abused,
emotionally not being abused.
But you can be financially abused.
You can.
And it can look like, youknow, I had someone else very close
to me also worked in a 1099job only, you know, only got paid
(26:41):
when she worked, went througha C section and was under duress
from her husband at the timesaying, oh, we're not going to make
it if you don't go back to work.
And went back to work afterthree weeks after a C section and
almost ended up in the hospital.
It's like.
And actually it was not.
(27:01):
That wasn't correct.
Like, that actually wasn't correct.
They actually were not infinancial peril.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
Like they.
That sounds also crazy.
And things like, you know,just not having a level of transparency
and not like being honestabout, okay, here's our joint expenses,
here's what we have thosetypes of things.
(27:24):
The other thing that weencourage people to do is have expense
accounts for ourselves.
So you have your regular billpay accounts, right, where all your,
you know, your money lands,goes in, pays all your bills and
then you're going to havediscretionary money that you're going
to want to spend on yourselfor on your family members.
We encourage people in acouple situation to have each partner
(27:47):
have a discretionary accountand then also maybe have a family
account if you have children.
And that's where you put yourextra dollars that you're going to
spend on yourselves.
I think that that leads toless fighting about what dollars
are going where and what'sbeing spent.
As long as it's in balancewith your total inflows and outflows.
(28:08):
There should be a place whereyou could create these expense accounts
for, you know, one another.
And I find that this, we keep,we actually set a separate debit
card.
We encourage our clients get aseparate debit credit card, a debit
card associated with this anduse this card card like that because
it just allows for morefreedom for that person.
(28:30):
And everyone's.
Everyone's on the same pagebecause everyone understands where
the money's going, if thatmakes sense.
Yeah, definitely.
Well, money is power, right?
So if only one person hasaccess to it, that's the person that
is holding the power.
Yes.
And the other, the other, theother problem that I see, and I see
(28:52):
this in the older generationis not having a knowledge basis,
like not being included infinancial decisions.
And then God forbid the partypasses away and the other person
has to make all these decisions.
And they're already devastatedbecause they lost their significant
other, but now they're havingto learn all these financial terms
(29:14):
they never knew about.
They may not have under.
Had an understanding of whattheir cash.
Cash flow look like becausethey weren't actually paying the
bills.
And that's literally.
You're starting from ground up.
That is challenging.
I.
Those aren't necessarilyfinancial abuse.
That's just kind of like thenature of the older generation.
(29:37):
However, Noah and I havechosen to specialize in that.
We specialize in working withpeople that have gone through divorce
or loss of a spouse.
And because we know thatthere's a ton of education that's
required to get someone backup to speed or create a new financial
plan for them because theyjust went from potentially two incomes
to one, even if they're retired.
(29:58):
You know, that looks very different.
Taxes look different.
Everything looks different.
It's completely overwhelming.
There's so many differentvariables that go into that re establishing
of that.
And it.
I feel like that takes time.
That takes time and it takesreally working with people on that
one to one.
(30:19):
Oh, definitely.
It's still something I'mworking with my mother on.
There's still things that comeup that is.
Oh, wait, we didn't change that.
That still needs to be addressed.
So.
Yep.
It's unbelievable, the wholere education.
It's a lot of work.
And I, I encourage like peoplethat are going through that, like,
(30:40):
to really take the time tounderstand because I think once what
we fear, we don't.
Sometimes we fear things wedon't understand.
Right.
But if once we understand itand then we get some.
A little bit of knowledgeunder our belt, we're like, oh, okay,
well, that makes sense.
But a lot of times if we'venever done it, we're like arm's length.
Oh, gosh, I don't know whatthat means.
(31:01):
I don't want to get involved.
But like just stepping up andembracing, asking questions, not
a bad thing.
Not a bad thing at all.
How about for you guys?
Have you ever heard anyfinancial horror stories from friends
or other people that you'veseen people go through?
What, what have been somethings that you've heard?
(31:22):
I have.
I have somebody close to meright now.
I'm trying to kind of.
When you brought up financialabuse and like, I'm trying to kind
of educate, not educate herbecause I'm not educated in it, but
just share as much as I knowabout it because there's like an
imbalance where he certainlymakes more than her.
And it's just really putting alot of pressure on her about where
(31:46):
she works, what she does.
And it's just, it is, to me,very, very abusive.
And you need to do morebecause I'm making more and you need
to do this.
And it's just, it's that.
That imbalance because hemakes more and directing.
It's just.
It's getting very ugly.
So I'm just writing it.
(32:08):
October 10th.
We're making a date to savethat day.
We have a place to go.
Kelly.
Back to Kelly Mattress'scomment about control and power.
A lot of people,unfortunately, will use it as a tool
to control and take power awayfrom people.
(32:32):
And when I was talking to, youknow, the advisors at Willow, something
that came up and overlapsoftentimes, not all the time, but
oftentimes it does.
If someone is very controllingwith the money and controlling with
the resources, they can alsobe very difficult, difficult at home.
Someone who can be very controlling.
(32:52):
And that control, instead ofjust being like control, because
I don't want us to losebalance or I want us to be fiscally
responsible, slips into abuse,like very quickly.
And, and people don't.
And I said this to youearlier, ladies, and I meant it.
You don't even know you're init and you're in a situation like
(33:12):
that.
And I will, I will say I'veseen it in all socioeconomic spheres.
I've seen it at the poverty line.
I've seen it in the middleclass area, and I've seen it with
a very affluent.
It can happen at any time inyour life, in any situation.
And it's just.
(33:33):
It's just jaw dropping.
It really is.
And some of the older clientsthat I've had also, like, another
thing that I'm superpassionate about is trusted persons.
As, as our parents, right.
As our parents get older, wewant to look out for them.
We want to make sure thatthey're okay.
Especially after you lose oneparent, I think.
(33:54):
I don't know Kelly about you,but I've become Even more protective
of my dad than I ever was.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, I lost my mom, soI'm like, the lady that used to look
out for him isn't there anymore.
And he's pretty.
Pretty savvy.
He's pretty savvy.
But I can remember even justrecently we had a contractor over
to the house, and, like, mybrother and I just show up.
(34:14):
We're like, what's up?
Y.
And.
And the guy was great.
And we're just like, hey.
We just would like a quote in advance.
You know, not trying to bedifficult or anything, but, you know,
this is important to us, and,you know, it works out great.
But, you know, it'sinteresting how that changes.
(34:36):
So there's so much I could sayabout financial abuse.
Well, and I think for peoplestarting out, especially as women,
you know, if you're in arelationship and you're starting
your business and you've madethe jump and you're not doing it
as a couple, not thateverybody should do it as a couple.
Kelly and I always say thatthere are plenty of people who should
not be in business with theirspouse, but you need a spouse that
(34:59):
is going to be a safe personand an understanding person, because
business ownership, especiallyin the beginning, takes a lot of
time, energy, and money.
And if the other person in therelationship is controlling all of
the money now, they'recontrolling all of the money and
your business because you'regoing to be reliant on them to pick
(35:19):
up the slack when you're downin sales or when you.
You're, you know, putting, youknow, your first brick and mortar
out there, and you're puttingall the, you know, the down payment
and all the other stuff.
You know, it's.
It's.
Or even working every Saturdayto do every festival, and you need
help with that child care.
I mean, there's just so manythings that you need to do that you
(35:42):
need that support for.
Very easy to fall into asituation where the other person
is controlling at all and resentful.
You know, it is.
It is a life that is not for everyone.
It isn't.
I mean, being in.
Being in business with yoursignificant other is not for the
week.
It definitely isn't.
(36:03):
I mean, I feel like you haveto have really open lines of communication,
and you have to feel like youcan be very honest with each other
because you're going to gothrough tough times in.
In a business.
There's going to be greattimes, lives, and there's going to
be tough times too.
But being able to know that,like you said, Kelly, that you can
just be honest with thatperson and know that they have your
(36:24):
back in those moments of, youknow, whatever's coming at you is
important.
Ultimately they're your, yourfirst investor.
Whether they're technicallygiving you money, not giving you
money, but you know, whetherthey're technically investing in
your company, they're theperson that's going to be financially
and time investing in your company.
Right?
(36:44):
100%.
And like, the other thing thatyou have to think about is that person
is a key per, that's a keyperson in your organization.
Right.
Are you guys, you know, Ialways ask people, are you set up
properly, structure wise anddo you have, you know, transfer legacy
planning in place?
Because that's more importantnow than ever, making sure that,
(37:08):
you know, the key person is insured.
And also, like, what wouldhappen, God forbid something happened
to the one, either one of you,what do you want to have happen with
the business?
You know, thinking about itlong term, not to be morbid or anything,
but I always have to thinkabout what is the, what is the future?
What does the future look like?
And our lawyer calls mypartner and I at the end of every
(37:30):
year and is like, okay, timeto give me your number of what the
business value is.
And it, you know, luckily forus, it's been going up every single
year.
And he'll check with us andmake, make sure you guys are insured
because we have already, youknow, realized that if one of us
were to go down, the other onewould need to replace the partner.
(37:52):
And that's gonna cost money, right?
You know, so like, oh, well, that.
Person can pick up the page pieces.
Well, no, they're alreadydoing a full time job.
Exactly, exactly.
It's not going to work outlike that.
The other thing is, is like,how do you also make the family whole?
Right?
Because the family has avested interest in the business.
And how if you don't wantfamily coming into that business
(38:14):
and you want it to staybetween the partners, do you have
that planning in place?
That's a critical piece ofplanning that I think gets overlooked
a lot of times.
I remember I was pregnant formy first child and Aaron and I were
not quite together and afriend of mine's husband had gone
(38:36):
through it with a differentrelationship and pulled me aside
one day and said, I'm gonnatell you something, like, you need
to get together and write this down.
What happens if you guys don'tstay together?
Yeah.
He's like, because right nowit's good.
You look happy.
You guys are talking like youhave a good relationship.
(38:57):
Right?
Now is the time to do it.
And I think about that momenta lot of times in my life of, this
is a moment where it's good,you know, even whatever.
This is a moment where we'renot facing these things.
So this is the time you really.
And it's not the time you wantto talk about it.
It's.
No.
(39:18):
We've talked a lot aboutfinances the past couple episodes.
We don't want to take whenthings are good and I don't have
to work 80 hours.
I don't want to put morethings on my plate.
I don't want another to do list.
Right.
But it's very important thatwe're addressing these things when
we have the time and mentalcapacity to think about it, rather
(39:38):
than doing it when we're incrisis mode.
Right.
100%.
And like, to just think about,like, what would you want.
What would you want to havehappen with the business?
Like, that's a huge decision,especially if your significant other
is your business partner.
You know, is there a buyout?
Like, have you guys, you know,think that through and, like, actually
put it.
(39:58):
Put it on paper and, you know,have your attorney work with you
on that.
I think is a critical piece of business.
And what are you gonna do ifyour parent gets sick or if you get
hit by a truck?
Like, what?
And for Kelly and I, you know,we talk about this sometimes, it's
almost harder that ourbusiness partners, our spouse, because
if something happens to one ofus, we're gonna be needed to be there.
(40:23):
Yes.
So now we're down two people,and it's the two key people in the.
In the business.
So it's not like, oh, I canhave my partner, hey, I need to go
do this.
No, we both know need to do that.
Yeah.
I just thought.
I just.
Wow, you guys, that's soprofound and so true, because I just
thought about, you know, mybusiness partner two years ago went
through a mystery illness.
We didn't know what was wrongwith him for, like, 13 weeks.
(40:44):
It was.
I. I'm like.
I was a wreck, and I just feltso bad for his girlfriend.
And I'm like, I can't imagine,like, going through that in one of
your guys situation.
That's.
That's huge, because you wantto be there with them as they're
going through whatever they'regoing through, but you actually have
to be in the business, youknow, so you're torn.
(41:06):
That's a really tough place to be.
So that having a plan in placeof what, what is that going to look
like?
And that's why it's reallyimportant to build your team and
to.
Even if your team is not, youknow, necessarily full time employees,
but who are the people thatcould step in at a moment's notice
if something happens, Even ifit's just to hold it down that day
while you figure things out,you know, what is.
(41:28):
Yep.
Contingency planning is so critical.
Anything else guys thatyou've, you've seen like financial,
like financial abuse wise orjust financially that you're like,
oh, just so interested in thisor have a question about or anything
like that.
The thing that I see the mostoften is women that don't want to
participate participate in money.
(41:49):
Even as business owners.
Even as business ownerssolopreneurs, you know, not doing
this with their spouse, just.
Handing it off and yeah, oh, Ihave a bookkeeper now.
My bookkeeper takes care of that.
The accountant does that.
Like oh, but, but what areyou, do you, do you see your P. Ls
do you look at that stuff?
No, but they take care of that.
(42:10):
It's, it's a very scary topicfor a lot of women and that terrifies
me.
That is terrifying.
You're right.
And I'm also, you know,another area that I think I'm passionate
about is financial literacyfor women.
Because of what I wentthrough, the complexity of the divorce
that I went through and theassets that were lost and I didn't
(42:35):
have an understanding back then.
You guys of no, you don't wantto take all your buy out money in
a qualified rollover.
You actually don't.
You know why?
You need liquidity to startyour new life.
And in order to get liquiditythen you have to tap into a qualified
investment which you're goingto lose 10% plus taxes, you're going
(42:56):
to lose 30% to access that money.
So things like that, thingslike people don't actually understand
that.
And if as you're maybe goingthrough a divorce or you're in a
business, it's important tounderstand what those financial things
are.
Just have an understanding of it.
You don't have to beintimately involved in it.
In our business and probablylike in your guys business, we had
(43:19):
to assign each other differentroles and we based it on what our
core competencies were.
However, we have oversightfrom the other partner.
So for instance, we have ameeting once a week on our financials
and Noah is our CM cfo But Ialso am looking at the numbers as
well.
So I think in a business, evenif you have somebody that's doing
(43:42):
the books and is verycompetent, you still want to have
a level of understanding aboutwhat's happening in the business.
I think that's a critical piece.
Agreed.
Yep.
This has been fun.
Well, those are two veryexciting topics to talk about.
(44:03):
I mean, this was not an upbeat episode.
Well, I also, I think if thereis somebody.
Somebody who is dealing withthese things.
I mean, Julie, you are.
You're very well rounded andyou have a.
You bring a lot to the table.
You are.
You.
I mean, you do.
(44:24):
You do what you do well, but you.
You care.
And you come about this with alot of care and a lot of feeling
and a lot of.
You're wonderful.
You're a wonderful person.
I've always said that.
And I think that from whatyou've gone through, especially in.
(44:44):
I mean, we have to tell moreof your story eventually anyway,
from how.
I mean, you just alluded to ita little bit with your divorce.
Worse.
Yeah.
Because that's a whole otherstory we could go into.
But just with what you've gonethrough with the last year and what
you've learned and now howyou're bringing that into your business
now, I think if you're.
If you are in this situation,you need to speak to.
To Julie and Noah and you needto reach out to Breathe Capital Planning,
(45:08):
because they are going to gothat step forward further and really
help you learn more about this stuff.
Yeah.
More importantly, ahead oftime, we want to think about these
things and get them in placeif we can.
Ahead of time.
Oh, my gosh.
We want to have a plan, youknow, and people ask me, well, do
I really need a financial plan?
Every person walking theplanet needs a plan today.
(45:30):
In today's world, you need a plan.
And I'm so hopeful for thefuture because my son's generation
is embracing the idea of a plan.
And I'm working with more andmore younger people, which gives
me a lot of hope for the future.
Honestly, people in their 20s,their first jobs, you know, we're
working with people like thatas well and just making sure that
(45:52):
they are.
They have a plan.
And that's fabulous.
That's great.
Yep.
It's been my pleasure to behere with you guys.
It's so good to see you both.
Ah, we missed you.
I'm sorry that you had to gothrough all of this.
But if somebody.
If somebody does want to reachout to you, how.
How would they reach you?
Sure.
We have our Calendly link isright on our website.
(46:13):
BreatheCapital Planning.
It's BCP, so breathecapitalplanning.com there's a calendly link
right there.
We do offer complimentaryintroductory session.
So for anybody that would liketo, you know, hop on, they're able
to book, book electronicallywith us.
It is a free 30 minute session.
(46:34):
If there's just, just a smallfinancial question you have, we answer
it for you.
Or if you'd like to learn moreabout how to engage with us, we.
We cover it then too.
Amazing.
So for all you listeners outthere that are in your.
What is the joke?
If you had a New Kids on theBlock dvd, you need to be talking
about menopause or perimenopause.
(46:55):
Well, if you had a New Kids onthe Block dvd, you need to be thinking
about emergency contingenciesfor not only yourself, but your loved
ones that you are going to endup responsible for.
Yes, yes.
Big.
It's a big responsibility andyou want to definitely have a plan
for that.
Well, thank you, Julie.
Thank you.
(47:16):
Thank you so much.
So good to see you guys.
Thank you.
Have a great day.
You too.
(48:10):
She is such a wealth of knowledge.
Yes.
I've missed her so much.
I remember the Bossy hour shehosted where she broke down her story
and how she got so passionateabout women and money.
And that was because sheneeded to learn it on the fly in
a hectic scenario that shecould tell more about.
(48:31):
But I think that sometimeswhen we live things makes us realize
how much we need to help otherpeople get through them.
She's the first one that mademe comfortable, like just sitting
and talking about money.
Because there was an exercise.
Yeah, the exercise.
Yeah.
And she was like, how do youfeel about money?
I was like, well, money, Ihate it.
I don't want to talk about it.
(48:52):
I'm just gonna go over hereand eat the pineapple off of this
beautiful charcuterie tray you made.
It was the most beautifulcharcuterie, but.
Yeah, but by the end of that,I felt so comfortable.
Yeah, she's amazing.
We highly recommend talking toJulie if you follow Bossy or you're
part of the group.
You'll see some of the eventsthat she's got coming up.
(49:13):
She's got a couple ofdifferent things I think that she's
partnering on, but Willow is adomestic violence group in Rochester,
New York.
I think that they're only in Rochester.
I think so.
But they do amazing work.
Amazing work.
So I'm happy that she's.
Yep.
She'll be at the gala onOctober 10th.
(49:34):
We don't know where yet, butshe'll be speaking about financial
abuse, and we'll shareinformation about that when we get
it.
So stay knowledgeable and transparent.
Make sure that the peoplesupporting you are actually supporting
you.
Yep.
And talk about money.
Talk about it.
(49:55):
Don't be scared.
Stay bold.
Stay brave.
Stay bossy.
Foreign.
Welcome back to anotherepisode of Getting Real with Bossy.
We are your hosts, Kelly Bushand Kelly Mattress.
(01:06):
How are you today?
First of all, it's your birthday.
What?
I don't know.
I'm in my office.
I don't know if you can seebehind me.
That's my happy birthday signfrom years ago.
I love it.
And that's Pacey Witter,Jonathan or Joshua Jackson from Dawson's
(01:28):
Creek.
My Dawson's Creek poster with my.
My own picture cut out next tohim because I'm obsessed with him.
If he's listening, I.
You're my hall pass.
Give me a call.
It's your birthday.
It's my birthday.
It's my 50th birthday.
I don't see any other reason.
And what are you doing todayon your most important half a century
(01:50):
birthday?
Well, I'm working.
Of course I'm working.
And talking to us.
I've got some interviews andI'm meeting with a friend who is
actually so funny that we'redoing this today and talking about
money and financial planning.
She is working to get herselfout of debt.
So I went through consumercredit consolidation when I was trying
(02:14):
to get out of debt.
And I am now going to sit withher at 3 o' clock to help her go
through that process.
And after that I am going toget ready for a paint night here
at work.
Thanks.
And we're doing.
And we're doing abirthaversary dinner tomorrow because
our anniversary's on Friday.
(02:34):
So.
Yeah, we're doingbirthaversary dinner.
I like birthiversary.
Yeah.
It's like Aaron and I have thetwo anniversaries so we get to pick
which day works better.
Yeah.
So you can be like, oh, it'sour anniversary and my birthday so
I could pick.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we're doing birthanniversary dinner tomorrow and then
we leave for Pennsylvania on Friday.
Awesome.
(02:55):
Oh, we're both going out of town.
I know.
Will the world still turn?
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I don't think so either.
But we won't be here to see it.
So stay tuned to find goodluck Rochester this weekend.
Who knows what will happen?
No clue.
No clue.
But today we're going to talkabout some super happy birthday topics.
(03:17):
Money, money, money, money.
Almost done with our money.
Our money.
Summer of money or summer of Money.
If we're not making.
We're making it.
We're gonna talk about it.
And we have Julie, JulieLaughlin Hares, who is the co founder
of Breathe Capital Planning,who we both adore.
(03:40):
So she's gonna talk to usabout what she does and all the crap
she's been through this yearand how it's made her even better
if it's possible at her joband what she's doing.
Super fun way to spend your birthday.
So I hope all of the listenersout there appreciate that you've
(04:01):
donated this time today for them.
Feel free to celebrate bysharing us and sharing the word of
what we do at Bossy andsharing our posts.
And you're always welcome tomake a financial donation to Bossy
or get be a sponsor.
We would love that.
(04:22):
We're always looking forsponsors for our podcast.
Yeah, I think it'd be the bestbirthday present other than Joshua
Jackson.
Okay.
Second best birthday present.
Second best birthday presentwould be to be a sponsor of our podcast.
We would love that.
You can reach out to us@bossyrockgmail.com.
that's bossy.
B O S S Y rock, R O C. Becausewe keep the K's for us.
(04:45):
Yeah, the K's.
Yeah.
All right.
We hope you enjoy this superupbeat episode.
(05:23):
Love it.
(05:44):
Okay.
And welcome back to anotherepisode of Getting Real with Bossy,
the podcast where we talkabout what it's actually like to
be a business owner.
And we're going to cover abunch of things today.
We have our guest here today,Julie Laughlin Harris.
She is the co founder ofBreathe Capital Planning.
She is a certified divorce coach.
(06:07):
She's about to give be aspeaker about financial abuse.
Before we got started and hitrecord, we were talking about the
dealing with the loss of aparent and running your business
at the same time.
So I'll be honest, I'm notsure exactly what we're going to
cover today, so you betterstay tuned.
Welcome back.
(06:29):
Well, thanks for having me.
I'm so excited to be here withboth of you.
So thank you for this time today.
This is exciting.
Very glad to have you.
Thank you.
We were just chatting beforewe actually started collectively
about how challenging it is tobe a business owner and experience
a hardship like a familymember getting very sick and the
(06:52):
fact that you may have to stepout of your business to temporarily
take care of that familymember and what is the impact going
to be on that business?
And I was sharing with Kelly,and Kelly, I couldn't have predicted
what happened to me about 24months ago.
And what started with my momgetting diagnosed with dementia,
followed by 30 days later mydad being diagnosed with an aggressive
(07:16):
form of cancer.
I couldn't prepare my businessfor it because I had no time.
Right.
Because happened and I wasright on top of it.
There will, there is going tobe an impact in anybody's business
when you go through, you know,helping your family members.
(07:36):
I actually had to step out ofthe business quite a bit to help
care for both of them until wecould hire care to help us.
And we were blessed enough tobe able to afford that.
And I just, it was a big eyeopener for me guys and it's made
me super passionate aboutthinking about a reserve fund in
(07:56):
your business.
One thing, you know, to reallythink about just having reserves,
maybe six to eight months ofworking capital, not a bad idea.
We typically would have three.
And then also the importanceof long term care planning, which
as a financial fiduciary, youknow, that is something that I'm
(08:19):
going to talk more about.
You know, I've, I'm like, youknow, this is really something that
needs to be addressed.
Well and I think that weexpect to talk about it about ourselves
as we age, but we don't thinkabout talking about it with our middle
aged children like those of ushere on this call.
Like there's that age of womenright now.
(08:41):
A lot of us had kids late inlife because we were living and doing
all of the amazing womanly things.
And then now you're goingthrough like perimenopause or menopause
and you have teens or youdon't have teens, but maybe you have
teens and you have parentsthat are aging and have issues and
need help and you're running a business.
(09:01):
Yeah, it all happened, Kelly,like you said.
At the same time my son wasgraduating from, from high school
which would have, should havebeen one of the happiest years of
my life.
Turned out to be one of thehardest years of my whole life.
And just the emotions of thatalone are overwhelming.
You know, you, you've nurturedthis little person up to a, to an
(09:23):
adult now and they're ready tospread their wings and fly and there's
so many emotions that you go through.
But then also this sandwichgeneration that we're called, where
our parents are aging and ourkids are coming up, we're kind of
stuck in the middle and it'sso expensive.
It's the most expensive yearI've ever had.
(09:43):
I'm like getting ready forcollege and all that comes with that.
And then, you know, justsupporting my family the best way
I could.
You know, it just, it, it, itwas unbelievable.
And the emotion, you know, wedon't even, we don't talk about this
a lot, but the emotionalimpact that it has on you as a business
(10:04):
owner too, I, I don't think weever take a minute to stop and, and
just kind of like be there forone another.
That's one thing that I dolove about your group.
Bossy, is it?
There are so many of us thatare entrepreneurs that when we come
together, there is a sharedspace and a shared community to be
like, just be real with eachother and have a conversation about
(10:27):
what's really happening inyour life.
And I think there's a lot tobe said for that.
I think what I found this yearis that at times it was very lonely.
I mean, it is.
We talk about it all the time.
Being a business owner is oneof the loneliest jobs in the world.
It's one of the reasons wecreated this.
(10:48):
Not to make light of all ofthese tragic things, but we know
as entrepreneurs, things don'tgo wrong when it's easy.
The POS doesn't go wrong, godown on Wednesday at 2:00'.
Clock.
It goes down on Friday nightat 7:30.
You know, families don't breakdown when it's convenient, when,
(11:09):
when everything's running smoothly.
And this is just anotherreason to have all of as much as
you can in order, have those,those rainy day funds, have those
things in place.
And I don't want to move onfrom what we're talking about, but
just to reinforce why theseconversations we've had all summer
are so important because thesethings just happen.
(11:30):
And you know, Kelly and I jokeabout it.
If you listen to our episodes,you know, back a year and a half
ago, two years ago, when Iliterally was talking to my therapist
about how, how we were goingto Denver.
And that's when I wasscheduling time to grieve the loss
of my father.
My father passed in May.
(11:51):
We went to Denver in August.
And it was like, that's when Ihave time.
Oh, and did you.
No.
No.
This is.
Maybe, maybe, maybe when I'mout on.
I have surgery on September9th and I've got to, I have to be
in bed for two weeks.
I think maybe then I, I will.
But like these, these are,this is just how it goes because
work has to happen.
(12:11):
And I think I, I appreciateyou, Julie, for bringing up bossy
and the, the support that we.
And that's why we are supportfirst, everything else second.
Because we need that.
I need to be able to havepeople to go to and just be like,
holy, yeah.
Dying inside.
But I still just also have tomake fish fries tonight because I
(12:32):
don't have a choice becauseeverybody's out.
Like, let's just be real, youknow, this.
We're all gonna go throughstuff and it's, it's amazing to have
other people to be able toturn to that are just there to like,
listen to you as you're goingthrough it.
Because you get it.
You guys, you've gone throughit yourselves.
And I think that that is.
(12:52):
There's a lot to be said for that.
So, really glad that I'm apart of the community and hope to
be more engaged this year, you guys.
I was kind of a missing personfor the past year, so.
Well, and I think that anotherthing that we don't talk about because
we do talk about money andobviously in the back of our heads
we know about having reservesand we don't think about it as needing
(13:16):
it for our parents passing,but you need it for whatever emergency
arises.
And that's probably, you know,that might be the thing that comes
up that you need it for, butthe emotional tasking of it.
Anything that's going onthat's a cool crisis in your, your
personal life or even in your business.
And it's a financial impact of that.
Because like you said, we'reintegral parts of our business.
(13:37):
And when we're not all on,we're losing money.
Yeah, right.
We are.
You know, and it's, it's exhausting.
But we are human beings andwhen these things are happening and
we're not able to put our fullselves into it, whether it's time,
energy, or money, it has animpact on your business, Business.
And that just adds to the stress.
(13:58):
Totally.
It does and it did.
I just feel grateful that I'mlucky enough to have a fabulous business
partner that, you know, helpedme maintain and keep going through
really some really challenging times.
You know, really grateful.
Grateful to Noah, grateful toour team that really held it down
(14:20):
in the days that I justcouldn't be there because I was at
the hospital or at my parentshouse, you know, I was either one
of those two places and reallyblessed for the clients that I have
and the relationships thatwe've built.
And I was transparent withwhat was happening.
I was honest about things.
Like I wanted them to knowthat I hadn't gone anywhere, but
(14:40):
I was preoccupied a littlebit, but that Noah was there and
our team, our staff was thereto help and support them.
And my clients were amazing.
That's great.
Yeah.
I'm so blessed to have thepeople that we have you know, as
our clients, it's a huge blessing.
So, yeah, that was amazing.
(15:01):
And we've talked about that alot, especially since the pandemic.
You know, the ability to betransparent, the acceptance, the
desire for the community toactually see us as human beings and
not just this mythicalbusiness owner, not person thing
(15:22):
that nothing ever goes wrong with.
Right.
I mean, a lot of, I mean, it'spermission, we have permission now
to say it's just a little bittoo tough to open today.
It's a little bit too tough todo whatever.
And I think that's reallywonderful and I'm glad that that
was received and it's nice tosee that it's being received in all,
all areas of business.
(15:43):
Even the more, the more, the more.
Professional corporate worldthan ours where we can just be like,
ah, we need a break.
You can actually see howfrazzled we are.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
That's great.
I'm sorry you have to gothrough that, but has that affected
the conversations you'rehaving with your clients?
Oh my gosh, yes.
(16:03):
Because, guys, I've alwaysbeen passionate.
I started in insurance and thereason I started in insurance was
because insurance was the onlyasset that I had liquid to me at
the time I went through my divorce.
So I was passionate aboutmaking sure that people understood
insurance and how it can beused and like all those things.
So I came in to the businessthat way.
(16:25):
And then I learned about thisproduct that not many carriers have,
but a few do that has a wholelife policy with long term care kind
of wrapped into it as a rider.
The reason why the long termcare standalone companies have pretty
much evaporated out of NewYork is that the costs have escalated
so high that even if you didhave one of these policies, they're
(16:47):
almost impossible to havebecause it's so much money.
Because the cost in New York,and this is staggering.
And I learned so much on thisjourney with my mother.
If you need memory care andyour patient is immobile, meaning
they can't really do much forthemselves, you're looking at 20
to $25,000 a month for care.
(17:11):
Yeah.
And that was staggering.
And that was terrifying.
You know, if you don't needmemory care right now in our area,
our Rochester area, it's inthe $15,000.
You know, anywhere from, I sawpricing anywhere from 11,000 to,
to $15,000 a month.
Oh my goodness, those figureswere just jarring to me.
(17:35):
It was a huge wake up call.
And I got passionate aboutsharing this information with all
of our clients that are intheir 40s and 50s and 60s and being
like, hey, what's your plan?
Like, God forbid somethinghappens to you and you become sick
and you have to have care.
Do you guys have a plan?
Have you even, have you eventhought of it?
(17:57):
So I became passionate aboutsharing knowledge, educating people.
Here's what's available to you.
You know, we work under bestinterest standards, so we don't,
you know, demand ever, but weeducate, we, you know, teach people
about.
Here are your options.
What do you feel like is thebest fit for you?
We have some clients thatcould self insure through an event
(18:19):
like that, meaning that theycould afford to pay through that.
But I also think, do you wantto, like, do you want to go through
all your assets at the, youknow, maybe at the end of your life,
or would you rather have abuffer between yourself and that
facility so that you cantransfer more of your assets to your
next generation?
(18:41):
So, yeah, we became, I becamekind of passionate about it and made
sure that, you know, Iactually went back and looked at
some of our clients andactually called people and said,
hey, I would love to have afollow up meeting with you to just
educate you about some thingsthat I've learned.
And they really appreciated it.
You know, just even theeducation alone about, you know,
(19:01):
what I learned on that journey.
I learned a lot about themedical system too, guys.
My little journey.
And I learned that you, youhave to be a very strong advocate
for your loved ones.
I experienced some really goodthings in some of our local hospitals
and some really tough things.
(19:24):
And I just learned a lot.
It's what I'll say about that.
I just learned a lot.
We've got some great doctorsand nurses here in Rochester.
We really do.
And then we have areas for improvement.
So I learned that andeverywhere in between.
So it was a great, it was, insome ways it was helpful, you know,
(19:44):
to go through that learning.
Sure.
And in one of the must, mustbe nice situations, you know, we
generally have someflexibility in our hours and we can,
you know, I recently wentthrough doctor's appointments for
my dad with his health and,you know, it was a great opportunity
and probably a marriage saver.
(20:04):
If you're listening.
Hi parents.
But we joke about it nowbecause I was like their middleman.
So when they would fight aboutwhat the doctor said, even though
we were all in the room, Icould be like, oh no, this is what
the doctor said.
And I was like the impartial person.
I had that flexibility.
And not only did I get to feellike I Knew what was happening, but
(20:26):
also I got to help them with that.
And.
Yeah, that was nice.
Yeah, it is nice.
That is.
It is definitely a nice.
But at the same time, I thinkthen left the appointments and went
into work and pretended likeeverything's great and dealing with
the public and my employeeswho don't understand the life that
we're leading at this agebecause most of them are younger,
(20:47):
you know, for my business anyways.
And it's like, oh, yeah,everything's great.
Don't know if my dad's gonnabe alive.
It's cool.
Like, yeah, it's hard.
It is a.
It is a nice part.
I've always said theflexibility allotment is the nice
part.
But sometimes that flexibilitydoes cost us money and there are
times that we are.
Cannot be flexible and wedon't have a choice.
(21:10):
Yeah, right.
I, I feel grateful also.
I will give a shout out to mybrother and sister in law because
there are.
They know that I'm selfemployed and they are not self employed.
So there would be times whereI'd be like, tim, I really can't
miss this or that.
Like, this is.
I can't.
These are things I can't miss.
And he would cover me, youknow, And I feel really blessed that
(21:33):
I have a brother that has beenlike, I could get very emotional
guys right now that has beenin the trenches with me.
Wow.
You need that support person.
Yeah.
You can't do it alone.
I can't imagine going throughall of that alone.
(21:55):
Yeah.
And you know, the support ofmy, my own child, you know, as he
reaches adulthood and had tolike encounter all the adult decisions
that I went through.
He was amazing too.
Like, he would literally belike, okay, no problem, I'll go pick
up grandma.
Grandma has to go see like aneurologist or had to do this or
(22:17):
had to do that.
And you know, my brother and Iare trying to.
It may be a day that we bothhad commitments, we couldn't leave.
And my son would get out ofschool early because he would, you
know, had that flexibility inhis schedule and show up and says
a lot about someone'scharacter at 19 when they can do
that.
(22:37):
So really blessed.
And I'm sure, I'm sure aboutyour character too.
Thanks, friend.
You raised him.
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
And my significant other,like, you know, holding it down for
me.
I don't know if I would havefared as well as I did without all
of these people.
So I feel really blessed for that.
(22:57):
I'm sure there's Listenersthat are like, oh, you shouldn't
ever have to miss anyimportant family event or you shouldn't
have to choose ever.
And.
And that's just not the lifethat we're living.
That's not reality.
No.
To the listeners that might berolling their eyes at this point,
point in the conversation,just take a moment to be empathetic.
You know, obviously we'regoing to make the best choices for
(23:19):
us in these situations as wehandle them, just like we are with
our finances and how we'regoing to navigate the low points
while we're dealing witheverything else.
I think that knowing othertopics we're going to get into today,
I think this is a good restingpoint to remind everybody that whether
or not you think you wouldever get in this situation or handle
this situation.
Situation that well, we allhandle things as we can and we only
(23:42):
know what we know.
And that this is a greatopportunity to learn something new.
Right?
Absolutely.
Thanks, Kelly, for that.
That was, that was great.
The other topic that we weretalking about off air, guys, that
we were like, oh, this is agood one, is financial abuse.
And what, what is it and whatdoes it look like?
(24:04):
I'm passionate about sharingthis information.
And, and in fact, we'll be atthe Willow Domestic Violence Gala
this year talking on this very topic.
When is that date so we cansay it a bunch of times?
Yep.
October 10th.
Thank you.
Yep.
And they told me location 2TBD, but yep.
(24:28):
So really excited about that.
You know, what does that look like?
That can be.
Whenever you're hiding thingsfrom your partner, that is a form
of, like, disrespect and thatlack of transparency, especially
if your partner is relying ona joint income situation to live.
(24:49):
So as we're, as we're coachingand as we're advising couples, we
are very much like, you needto work in a financial system that
works for both of you.
So we're open to people thatlike to do everything joint, people
that like to do everythingseparate or a hybrid of that.
Right.
But I think when we get intotrouble is when we keep secrets and
(25:13):
hide financial informationfrom the other partner that could,
in fact, impact that partner.
And I'll give you an exampleof some of these things that I've
seen over the years.
I had a person very close tome that she came home one day and
there was all these tax billsin the mail, and she was in the middle
(25:34):
of a divorce, and she said,what are all these tax bills?
And the husband said, well, Ibought a bunch of property.
It's in both of our nameswithout her consent, without her
knowledge.
She, she was on the hook nowfor all this tax, taxes and property
that she did not consent to.
(25:56):
And I'm like, well, that'sgotta be illegal.
And in fact was.
But the bigger picture withthat is like that lack of transparency
and the lack of communicationis really what can lead to really
uncomfortable and borderlineabusive financial situations.
(26:17):
So people don't always thinkof it like that.
Like, oh, that's, thatperson's not being abused.
They're, you know, they're,they're physically not being abused,
emotionally not being abused.
But you can be financially abused.
You can.
And it can look like, youknow, I had someone else very close
to me also worked in a 1099job only, you know, only got paid
(26:41):
when she worked, went througha C section and was under duress
from her husband at the timesaying, oh, we're not going to make
it if you don't go back to work.
And went back to work afterthree weeks after a C section and
almost ended up in the hospital.
It's like.
And actually it was not.
(27:01):
That wasn't correct.
Like, that actually wasn't correct.
They actually were not infinancial peril.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
Like they.
That sounds also crazy.
And things like, you know,just not having a level of transparency
and not like being honestabout, okay, here's our joint expenses,
here's what we have thosetypes of things.
(27:24):
The other thing that weencourage people to do is have expense
accounts for ourselves.
So you have your regular billpay accounts, right, where all your,
you know, your money lands,goes in, pays all your bills and
then you're going to havediscretionary money that you're going
to want to spend on yourselfor on your family members.
We encourage people in acouple situation to have each partner
(27:47):
have a discretionary accountand then also maybe have a family
account if you have children.
And that's where you put yourextra dollars that you're going to
spend on yourselves.
I think that that leads toless fighting about what dollars
are going where and what'sbeing spent.
As long as it's in balancewith your total inflows and outflows.
(28:08):
There should be a place whereyou could create these expense accounts
for, you know, one another.
And I find that this, we keep,we actually set a separate debit
card.
We encourage our clients get aseparate debit credit card, a debit
card associated with this anduse this card card like that because
it just allows for morefreedom for that person.
(28:30):
And everyone's.
Everyone's on the same pagebecause everyone understands where
the money's going, if thatmakes sense.
Yeah, definitely.
Well, money is power, right?
So if only one person hasaccess to it, that's the person that
is holding the power.
Yes.
And the other, the other, theother problem that I see, and I see
(28:52):
this in the older generationis not having a knowledge basis,
like not being included infinancial decisions.
And then God forbid the partypasses away and the other person
has to make all these decisions.
And they're already devastatedbecause they lost their significant
other, but now they're havingto learn all these financial terms
(29:14):
they never knew about.
They may not have under.
Had an understanding of whattheir cash.
Cash flow look like becausethey weren't actually paying the
bills.
And that's literally.
You're starting from ground up.
That is challenging.
I.
Those aren't necessarilyfinancial abuse.
That's just kind of like thenature of the older generation.
(29:37):
However, Noah and I havechosen to specialize in that.
We specialize in working withpeople that have gone through divorce
or loss of a spouse.
And because we know thatthere's a ton of education that's
required to get someone backup to speed or create a new financial
plan for them because theyjust went from potentially two incomes
to one, even if they're retired.
(29:58):
You know, that looks very different.
Taxes look different.
Everything looks different.
It's completely overwhelming.
There's so many differentvariables that go into that re establishing
of that.
And it.
I feel like that takes time.
That takes time and it takesreally working with people on that
one to one.
(30:19):
Oh, definitely.
It's still something I'mworking with my mother on.
There's still things that comeup that is.
Oh, wait, we didn't change that.
That still needs to be addressed.
So.
Yep.
It's unbelievable, the wholere education.
It's a lot of work.
And I, I encourage like peoplethat are going through that, like,
(30:40):
to really take the time tounderstand because I think once what
we fear, we don't.
Sometimes we fear things wedon't understand.
Right.
But if once we understand itand then we get some.
A little bit of knowledgeunder our belt, we're like, oh, okay,
well, that makes sense.
But a lot of times if we'venever done it, we're like arm's length.
Oh, gosh, I don't know whatthat means.
(31:01):
I don't want to get involved.
But like just stepping up andembracing, asking questions, not
a bad thing.
Not a bad thing at all.
How about for you guys?
Have you ever heard anyfinancial horror stories from friends
or other people that you'veseen people go through?
What, what have been somethings that you've heard?
(31:22):
I have.
I have somebody close to meright now.
I'm trying to kind of.
When you brought up financialabuse and like, I'm trying to kind
of educate, not educate herbecause I'm not educated in it, but
just share as much as I knowabout it because there's like an
imbalance where he certainlymakes more than her.
And it's just really putting alot of pressure on her about where
(31:46):
she works, what she does.
And it's just, it is, to me,very, very abusive.
And you need to do morebecause I'm making more and you need
to do this.
And it's just, it's that.
That imbalance because hemakes more and directing.
It's just.
It's getting very ugly.
So I'm just writing it.
(32:08):
October 10th.
We're making a date to savethat day.
We have a place to go.
Kelly.
Back to Kelly Mattress'scomment about control and power.
A lot of people,unfortunately, will use it as a tool
to control and take power awayfrom people.
(32:32):
And when I was talking to, youknow, the advisors at Willow, something
that came up and overlapsoftentimes, not all the time, but
oftentimes it does.
If someone is very controllingwith the money and controlling with
the resources, they can alsobe very difficult, difficult at home.
Someone who can be very controlling.
(32:52):
And that control, instead ofjust being like control, because
I don't want us to losebalance or I want us to be fiscally
responsible, slips into abuse,like very quickly.
And, and people don't.
And I said this to youearlier, ladies, and I meant it.
You don't even know you're init and you're in a situation like
(33:12):
that.
And I will, I will say I'veseen it in all socioeconomic spheres.
I've seen it at the poverty line.
I've seen it in the middleclass area, and I've seen it with
a very affluent.
It can happen at any time inyour life, in any situation.
And it's just.
(33:33):
It's just jaw dropping.
It really is.
And some of the older clientsthat I've had also, like, another
thing that I'm superpassionate about is trusted persons.
As, as our parents, right.
As our parents get older, wewant to look out for them.
We want to make sure thatthey're okay.
Especially after you lose oneparent, I think.
(33:54):
I don't know Kelly about you,but I've become Even more protective
of my dad than I ever was.
You know what I mean?
I'm like, I lost my mom, soI'm like, the lady that used to look
out for him isn't there anymore.
And he's pretty.
Pretty savvy.
He's pretty savvy.
But I can remember even justrecently we had a contractor over
to the house, and, like, mybrother and I just show up.
(34:14):
We're like, what's up?
Y.
And.
And the guy was great.
And we're just like, hey.
We just would like a quote in advance.
You know, not trying to bedifficult or anything, but, you know,
this is important to us, and,you know, it works out great.
But, you know, it'sinteresting how that changes.
(34:36):
So there's so much I could sayabout financial abuse.
Well, and I think for peoplestarting out, especially as women,
you know, if you're in arelationship and you're starting
your business and you've madethe jump and you're not doing it
as a couple, not thateverybody should do it as a couple.
Kelly and I always say thatthere are plenty of people who should
not be in business with theirspouse, but you need a spouse that
(34:59):
is going to be a safe personand an understanding person, because
business ownership, especiallyin the beginning, takes a lot of
time, energy, and money.
And if the other person in therelationship is controlling all of
the money now, they'recontrolling all of the money and
your business because you'regoing to be reliant on them to pick
(35:19):
up the slack when you're downin sales or when you.
You're, you know, putting, youknow, your first brick and mortar
out there, and you're puttingall the, you know, the down payment
and all the other stuff.
You know, it's.
It's.
Or even working every Saturdayto do every festival, and you need
help with that child care.
I mean, there's just so manythings that you need to do that you
(35:42):
need that support for.
Very easy to fall into asituation where the other person
is controlling at all and resentful.
You know, it is.
It is a life that is not for everyone.
It isn't.
I mean, being in.
Being in business with yoursignificant other is not for the
week.
It definitely isn't.
(36:03):
I mean, I feel like you haveto have really open lines of communication,
and you have to feel like youcan be very honest with each other
because you're going to gothrough tough times in.
In a business.
There's going to be greattimes, lives, and there's going to
be tough times too.
But being able to know that,like you said, Kelly, that you can
just be honest with thatperson and know that they have your
(36:24):
back in those moments of, youknow, whatever's coming at you is
important.
Ultimately they're your, yourfirst investor.
Whether they're technicallygiving you money, not giving you
money, but you know, whetherthey're technically investing in
your company, they're theperson that's going to be financially
and time investing in your company.
Right?
(36:44):
100%.
And like, the other thing thatyou have to think about is that person
is a key per, that's a keyperson in your organization.
Right.
Are you guys, you know, Ialways ask people, are you set up
properly, structure wise anddo you have, you know, transfer legacy
planning in place?
Because that's more importantnow than ever, making sure that,
(37:08):
you know, the key person is insured.
And also, like, what wouldhappen, God forbid something happened
to the one, either one of you,what do you want to have happen with
the business?
You know, thinking about itlong term, not to be morbid or anything,
but I always have to thinkabout what is the, what is the future?
What does the future look like?
And our lawyer calls mypartner and I at the end of every
(37:30):
year and is like, okay, timeto give me your number of what the
business value is.
And it, you know, luckily forus, it's been going up every single
year.
And he'll check with us andmake, make sure you guys are insured
because we have already, youknow, realized that if one of us
were to go down, the other onewould need to replace the partner.
(37:52):
And that's gonna cost money, right?
You know, so like, oh, well, that.
Person can pick up the page pieces.
Well, no, they're alreadydoing a full time job.
Exactly, exactly.
It's not going to work outlike that.
The other thing is, is like,how do you also make the family whole?
Right?
Because the family has avested interest in the business.
And how if you don't wantfamily coming into that business
(38:14):
and you want it to staybetween the partners, do you have
that planning in place?
That's a critical piece ofplanning that I think gets overlooked
a lot of times.
I remember I was pregnant formy first child and Aaron and I were
not quite together and afriend of mine's husband had gone
(38:36):
through it with a differentrelationship and pulled me aside
one day and said, I'm gonnatell you something, like, you need
to get together and write this down.
What happens if you guys don'tstay together?
Yeah.
He's like, because right nowit's good.
You look happy.
You guys are talking like youhave a good relationship.
(38:57):
Right?
Now is the time to do it.
And I think about that momenta lot of times in my life of, this
is a moment where it's good,you know, even whatever.
This is a moment where we'renot facing these things.
So this is the time you really.
And it's not the time you wantto talk about it.
It's.
No.
(39:18):
We've talked a lot aboutfinances the past couple episodes.
We don't want to take whenthings are good and I don't have
to work 80 hours.
I don't want to put morethings on my plate.
I don't want another to do list.
Right.
But it's very important thatwe're addressing these things when
we have the time and mentalcapacity to think about it, rather
(39:38):
than doing it when we're incrisis mode.
Right.
100%.
And like, to just think about,like, what would you want.
What would you want to havehappen with the business?
Like, that's a huge decision,especially if your significant other
is your business partner.
You know, is there a buyout?
Like, have you guys, you know,think that through and, like, actually
put it.
(39:58):
Put it on paper and, you know,have your attorney work with you
on that.
I think is a critical piece of business.
And what are you gonna do ifyour parent gets sick or if you get
hit by a truck?
Like, what?
And for Kelly and I, you know,we talk about this sometimes, it's
almost harder that ourbusiness partners, our spouse, because
if something happens to one ofus, we're gonna be needed to be there.
(40:23):
Yes.
So now we're down two people,and it's the two key people in the.
In the business.
So it's not like, oh, I canhave my partner, hey, I need to go
do this.
No, we both know need to do that.
Yeah.
I just thought.
I just.
Wow, you guys, that's soprofound and so true, because I just
thought about, you know, mybusiness partner two years ago went
through a mystery illness.
We didn't know what was wrongwith him for, like, 13 weeks.
(40:44):
It was.
I. I'm like.
I was a wreck, and I just feltso bad for his girlfriend.
And I'm like, I can't imagine,like, going through that in one of
your guys situation.
That's.
That's huge, because you wantto be there with them as they're
going through whatever they'regoing through, but you actually have
to be in the business, youknow, so you're torn.
(41:06):
That's a really tough place to be.
So that having a plan in placeof what, what is that going to look
like?
And that's why it's reallyimportant to build your team and
to.
Even if your team is not, youknow, necessarily full time employees,
but who are the people thatcould step in at a moment's notice
if something happens, Even ifit's just to hold it down that day
while you figure things out,you know, what is.
(41:28):
Yep.
Contingency planning is so critical.
Anything else guys thatyou've, you've seen like financial,
like financial abuse wise orjust financially that you're like,
oh, just so interested in thisor have a question about or anything
like that.
The thing that I see the mostoften is women that don't want to
participate participate in money.
(41:49):
Even as business owners.
Even as business ownerssolopreneurs, you know, not doing
this with their spouse, just.
Handing it off and yeah, oh, Ihave a bookkeeper now.
My bookkeeper takes care of that.
The accountant does that.
Like oh, but, but what areyou, do you, do you see your P. Ls
do you look at that stuff?
No, but they take care of that.
(42:10):
It's, it's a very scary topicfor a lot of women and that terrifies
me.
That is terrifying.
You're right.
And I'm also, you know,another area that I think I'm passionate
about is financial literacyfor women.
Because of what I wentthrough, the complexity of the divorce
that I went through and theassets that were lost and I didn't
(42:35):
have an understanding back then.
You guys of no, you don't wantto take all your buy out money in
a qualified rollover.
You actually don't.
You know why?
You need liquidity to startyour new life.
And in order to get liquiditythen you have to tap into a qualified
investment which you're goingto lose 10% plus taxes, you're going
(42:56):
to lose 30% to access that money.
So things like that, thingslike people don't actually understand
that.
And if as you're maybe goingthrough a divorce or you're in a
business, it's important tounderstand what those financial things
are.
Just have an understanding of it.
You don't have to beintimately involved in it.
In our business and probablylike in your guys business, we had
(43:19):
to assign each other differentroles and we based it on what our
core competencies were.
However, we have oversightfrom the other partner.
So for instance, we have ameeting once a week on our financials
and Noah is our CM cfo But Ialso am looking at the numbers as
well.
So I think in a business, evenif you have somebody that's doing
(43:42):
the books and is verycompetent, you still want to have
a level of understanding aboutwhat's happening in the business.
I think that's a critical piece.
Agreed.
Yep.
This has been fun.
Well, those are two veryexciting topics to talk about.
(44:03):
I mean, this was not an upbeat episode.
Well, I also, I think if thereis somebody.
Somebody who is dealing withthese things.
I mean, Julie, you are.
You're very well rounded andyou have a.
You bring a lot to the table.
You are.
You.
I mean, you do.
(44:24):
You do what you do well, but you.
You care.
And you come about this with alot of care and a lot of feeling
and a lot of.
You're wonderful.
You're a wonderful person.
I've always said that.
And I think that from whatyou've gone through, especially in.
(44:44):
I mean, we have to tell moreof your story eventually anyway,
from how.
I mean, you just alluded to ita little bit with your divorce.
Worse.
Yeah.
Because that's a whole otherstory we could go into.
But just with what you've gonethrough with the last year and what
you've learned and now howyou're bringing that into your business
now, I think if you're.
If you are in this situation,you need to speak to.
To Julie and Noah and you needto reach out to Breathe Capital Planning,
(45:08):
because they are going to gothat step forward further and really
help you learn more about this stuff.
Yeah.
More importantly, ahead oftime, we want to think about these
things and get them in placeif we can.
Ahead of time.
Oh, my gosh.
We want to have a plan, youknow, and people ask me, well, do
I really need a financial plan?
Every person walking theplanet needs a plan today.
(45:30):
In today's world, you need a plan.
And I'm so hopeful for thefuture because my son's generation
is embracing the idea of a plan.
And I'm working with more andmore younger people, which gives
me a lot of hope for the future.
Honestly, people in their 20s,their first jobs, you know, we're
working with people like thatas well and just making sure that
(45:52):
they are.
They have a plan.
And that's fabulous.
That's great.
Yep.
It's been my pleasure to behere with you guys.
It's so good to see you both.
Ah, we missed you.
I'm sorry that you had to gothrough all of this.
But if somebody.
If somebody does want to reachout to you, how.
How would they reach you?
Sure.
We have our Calendly link isright on our website.
(46:13):
BreatheCapital Planning.
It's BCP, so breathecapitalplanning.com there's a calendly link
right there.
We do offer complimentaryintroductory session.
So for anybody that would liketo, you know, hop on, they're able
to book, book electronicallywith us.
It is a free 30 minute session.
(46:34):
If there's just, just a smallfinancial question you have, we answer
it for you.
Or if you'd like to learn moreabout how to engage with us, we.
We cover it then too.
Amazing.
So for all you listeners outthere that are in your.
What is the joke?
If you had a New Kids on theBlock dvd, you need to be talking
about menopause or perimenopause.
(46:55):
Well, if you had a New Kids onthe Block dvd, you need to be thinking
about emergency contingenciesfor not only yourself, but your loved
ones that you are going to endup responsible for.
Yes, yes.
Big.
It's a big responsibility andyou want to definitely have a plan
for that.
Well, thank you, Julie.
Thank you.
(47:16):
Thank you so much.
So good to see you guys.
Thank you.
Have a great day.
You too.
(48:10):
She is such a wealth of knowledge.
Yes.
I've missed her so much.
I remember the Bossy hour shehosted where she broke down her story
and how she got so passionateabout women and money.
And that was because sheneeded to learn it on the fly in
a hectic scenario that shecould tell more about.
(48:31):
But I think that sometimeswhen we live things makes us realize
how much we need to help otherpeople get through them.
She's the first one that mademe comfortable, like just sitting
and talking about money.
Because there was an exercise.
Yeah, the exercise.
Yeah.
And she was like, how do youfeel about money?
I was like, well, money, Ihate it.
I don't want to talk about it.
(48:52):
I'm just gonna go over hereand eat the pineapple off of this
beautiful charcuterie tray you made.
It was the most beautifulcharcuterie, but.
Yeah, but by the end of that,I felt so comfortable.
Yeah, she's amazing.
We highly recommend talking toJulie if you follow Bossy or you're
part of the group.
You'll see some of the eventsthat she's got coming up.
(49:13):
She's got a couple ofdifferent things I think that she's
partnering on, but Willow is adomestic violence group in Rochester,
New York.
I think that they're only in Rochester.
I think so.
But they do amazing work.
Amazing work.
So I'm happy that she's.
Yep.
She'll be at the gala onOctober 10th.
(49:34):
We don't know where yet, butshe'll be speaking about financial
abuse, and we'll shareinformation about that when we get
it.
So stay knowledgeable and transparent.
Make sure that the peoplesupporting you are actually supporting
you.
Yep.
And talk about money.
Talk about it.
(49:55):
Don't be scared.
Stay bold.
Stay brave.
Stay bossy.
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