August 26, 2024 • 21 mins
Hi beautiful!
If you've ended things with your ex but still feel drawn to him, and you're trying to be strong enough not to go back...
Or if you've found yourself caught in a cycle with him, but deep down you want to be free... Here are the five steps to finally break free from him emotionally AND spiritually!
We're talking all things soul ties (from a biblical perspective), so you'll understand why you're so attached and how to detach—or really sever the tie in the spirit, because that's what it takes.
Lots of love 💕
- Dani REGISTER FOR THE WORKSHOP: https://www.lovedani.org/workshop
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
.4963517442Hi, beautiful We've all been there. 2 00:00:02,390.4963517442 --> 00:00:09,385.3331738122 Haven't we? filling this attachment to this person who hurt you over and over and over again. 3 00:00:09,652.0278511377 --> 00:00:21,897.655467417 After you've given him a chance after chance, after chance, you are in this place where you keep questioning, why are you still so attached? You're starting to hate yourself for it. 4 00:00:21,897.655467417 --> 00:00:29,996.327842417 You question why you still love him and why you can't just let go and move on, especially to somebody who has hurt you over and over again. 5 00:00:30,172.994509083 --> 00:00:56,606.550194847 You feel like you can't be super honest with that many people in your life because you don't want them to judge you or think you're crazy because you literally feel crazy and your heart just hurts because you know deep down that you have to let him go but the question is how do you actually start to let him go when you feel like you want to hang on and you want to cling on to that hope and when the feelings are still so strong? It feels almost impossible. 6 00:00:56,656.550194847 --> 00:00:57,46.550194847 Yeah. 7 00:00:57,450.987972625 --> 00:01:03,90.987972625 So, get ready, because we're cutting straight to the meat of how to really tackle this thing in the spirit. 8 00:01:03,430.987972625 --> 00:01:08,470.987972625 Hey beautiful! Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 9 00:01:08,590.987972625 --> 00:01:31,290.987972625 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 10 00:01:31,340.986972625 --> 00:01:32,880.986972625 Well, sis, you're not alone. 11 00:01:32,950.987972625 --> 00:01:34,80.987972625 I've been there, too. 12 00:01:34,190.987972625 --> 00:01:41,360.98797263 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 13 00:01:41,480.98797263 --> 00:01:52,620.98797263 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships, and searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 14 00:01:52,660.98797263 --> 00:01:58,190.98797263 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 15 00:01:58,355.98797263 --> 00:02:13,535.98797263 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 16 00:02:13,675.98697263 --> 00:02:16,645.98797263 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 17 00:02:16,775.98797263 --> 00:02:22,795.98797263 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 18 00:02:23,111.57754179 --> 00:02:28,221.57754179 So I remember when I found out my very first boyfriend had slept with another girl. 19 00:02:28,721.57754179 --> 00:02:35,254.07754179 Uh, I was absolutely devastated, as we all would be, or have been if you've been in that situation. 20 00:02:35,571.13383345 --> 00:02:41,891.13483345 and, you know, I remember all my friends that I had, like, at the time, being super encouraging. 21 00:02:41,978.60879179 --> 00:02:47,246.55150012 To me they were telling me over and over he wasn't good for you Anyway, it was time to leave him and get away. 22 00:02:47,246.55150012 --> 00:02:53,425.48038467 You deserve better all the right things right that friends are supposed to say You would think like okay. 23 00:02:53,425.48038467 --> 00:02:57,964.30184879 Yeah, like my friends are speaking these things over me like I agree, you know headwise. 24 00:02:58,4.30184879 --> 00:02:58,484.30184879 I agree. 25 00:02:58,514.30184879 --> 00:03:11,611.72339693 I do deserve butter, but my heart was still attached And I spent weeks laying in my bed after school not wanting to do anything Just listening to music and just was feeling the heartbreak. 26 00:03:11,963.11610863 --> 00:03:27,153.11610863 And after all of that, after like mourning the relationship and feeling heartbroken and feeling like our trust was completely shattered and it like crushed my dream of my first kiss and everything being the man that I marry. 27 00:03:27,153.11610863 --> 00:03:28,353.11610863 I mean, it was all crushed. 28 00:03:28,768.11610863 --> 00:03:32,278.11610863 And all of that, I mean, it ended up going back to him. 29 00:03:32,488.11610863 --> 00:03:39,639.74366776 And that started a whole nother four years, um, of us being on and then off and then on and then off. 30 00:03:39,919.74266776 --> 00:03:44,29.74366776 And it was a total toxic relationship because there was a lack of trust. 31 00:03:44,399.74366776 --> 00:03:46,29.74266776 There was insecurity within him. 32 00:03:46,374.74366776 --> 00:03:57,704.74266776 because of the fact that he had betrayed me and it just was full of controlling tendencies, manipulations, and just angry outbursts. 33 00:03:57,764.74366776 --> 00:04:04,224.74366776 And neither one of us knew how to regulate our emotions and to actually resolve conflict and move forward in a healthy way. 34 00:04:04,457.28218708 --> 00:04:07,87.28218708 And so this is what I want to prevent for you. 35 00:04:07,367.28218708 --> 00:04:13,127.28218708 And I want to share five steps to actually break the emotional and honestly spiritual tie. 36 00:04:13,597.28218708 --> 00:04:23,938.34733924 And finally move on because these are the things that I wish somebody would have told me that would have allowed me to cut that off, move on and save four years of being in a toxic relationship. 37 00:04:24,299.853594 --> 00:04:30,899.853594 So, step number one to break this emotional tie is, sis, you've got to go no contact. 38 00:04:31,29.853594 --> 00:04:33,669.852594 I'm sure you've heard this multiple times before. 39 00:04:34,39.853594 --> 00:04:34,919.853594 This is a must. 40 00:04:34,949.852594 --> 00:04:58,594.09248851 You have to go no contact and this is including both virtual and physical because What makes you think you can, you know, move on if you're trying to be friends with him, if you are around people that you guys used to hang out with together, if you are looking at old pictures, if his name's popping up on your phone and it's giving you these little Like fluttering feelings of, Oh, he's still thinking about me. 41 00:04:58,594.09248851 --> 00:04:59,674.09248851 Or, Oh, maybe there's hope. 42 00:04:59,674.09248851 --> 00:05:06,674.09248851 Like, no, you have to cut it all off, remove the hope of the relationship and the hope in the future without him. 43 00:05:06,754.09148851 --> 00:05:07,854.09248851 That's where you need to put your hope. 44 00:05:08,174.09148851 --> 00:05:10,344.09148851 And how to do that is you go no contact. 45 00:05:10,541.31348799 --> 00:05:10,901.31348799 Okay. 46 00:05:11,181.31348799 --> 00:05:13,832.0888238 So you want to block them from all social medias. 47 00:05:13,882.0898238 --> 00:05:17,32.0898238 And some people may say this is extreme, but this is something you have to do. 48 00:05:17,412.0898238 --> 00:05:22,455.34684057 You know, it doesn't have to be because you hate the man it can literally be no bad blood. 49 00:05:22,465.34684057 --> 00:05:26,178.6801739 You can literally forgive him And still have him blocked from absolutely everything. 50 00:05:26,238.6791739 --> 00:06:04,837.99427575 I still have my first ex blocked from absolutely everything because I don't even want any of that in my mind Right like no so on top of blocking him if there's any friends of his family members that you need to block You need to go ahead and do that phone social media Everything that he can contact you in the second step to break this tie Is you want to get so honest with the lord? And you want to repent if there have been any sexual relations Okay, and before you cut this off Let me just share with you what repent means Okay, so repent really just means to turn around and go the other way. 51 00:06:05,267.99427575 --> 00:06:19,477.99427575 You're making this decision to do a one 80 turn from the life that you've been living, from the decisions that you've been making, from the thoughts that you've been thinking and you are deciding, okay, I am turning completely around and I'm walking in the other direction. 52 00:06:19,497.99427575 --> 00:06:21,777.99427575 You're walking in the opposite direction of him. 53 00:06:21,971.0404019 --> 00:06:27,102.86192769 This is how you're going to change your thinking because if we're being real, we can only do so much out of willpower. 54 00:06:27,278.52599019 --> 00:07:13,557.98800023 I was leaning on my willpower and look at where that got me Okay, I didn't know the lord at the time But I wish I did because it probably would have made me feel stronger and it would have allowed me to know a love Deeper than anything that I would find in a man And so when we've been connected to somebody emotionally and or physically There's a spiritual tie and connection point and we need it's not like a oh, it would be nice It's a deep need we need the power of the living god We need the power of the holy spirit to lift that off of us so we can be free we can't do it on our own because all this hurt and pain and lust and impurity and emotional ties and words that have come from that relationship. 55 00:07:13,557.98800023 --> 00:07:32,851.70617891 Like these are all possible open doors for Satan to just walk in and out of and continue to torment you, um, and to drag you back down AKA dragging you back in that relationship if he knows that is not the thing that's going to propel you forward and to fulfill your purpose and call that God has for you. 56 00:07:32,881.70617891 --> 00:07:34,531.70617891 He wants to keep you in the darkness. 57 00:07:35,23.74617049 --> 00:07:36,933.74617049 He wants to keep you separated from God. 58 00:07:37,262.0394996 --> 00:07:44,562.0394996 and if he can do that within a relationship with a man, a toxic man that you love, oh, he's going to do everything that he can to do that. 59 00:07:44,942.0394996 --> 00:07:46,181.9394996 So you need to. 60 00:07:46,522.0394996 --> 00:07:53,887.03791305 To get spiritual and break this thing, okay? So how you want to practice this is literally just in prayer. 61 00:07:54,217.03791305 --> 00:08:02,500.14247582 You want to check your heart, yeah? Because we must enter God's throne room with humility, Can't have pride. 62 00:08:02,500.14247582 --> 00:08:03,630.14347582 He can't work with pride. 63 00:08:03,845.33720048 --> 00:08:05,725.33720048 imagine speaking to somebody with so much pride. 64 00:08:05,915.33720048 --> 00:08:07,445.33720048 You literally cannot get through to them. 65 00:08:07,535.33720048 --> 00:08:08,675.33720048 You don't even want to. 66 00:08:08,812.15953565 --> 00:08:09,562.15953565 To talk to them. 67 00:08:09,662.15953565 --> 00:08:10,142.15953565 Okay. 68 00:08:10,162.15953565 --> 00:08:12,782.15953565 They suck to talk to people that have so much pride. 69 00:08:13,152.15953565 --> 00:08:20,42.15953565 So you want to enter his throne room with a humble heart and literally you can start off prayer asking him, say, Lord, search my heart. 70 00:08:20,442.15853565 --> 00:08:21,832.15953565 No, my anxious thoughts. 71 00:08:22,132.15953565 --> 00:08:25,972.15953565 See if there's any offensive way in me, lead me in the way everlasting. 72 00:08:26,532.15853565 --> 00:08:29,137.04312557 God, I ask for your forgiveness, Lord. 73 00:08:29,137.04312557 --> 00:08:36,626.8969186 I repent listening to the lies of the enemy, to listening to my flesh and my, my desires and my lust. 74 00:08:36,998.58600105 --> 00:08:43,768.58600105 and just the sinful nature, God I repent from wandering off from you for making this relationship an idol in my life. 75 00:08:44,87.73070943 --> 00:08:51,168.28264878 whatever you know you need to repent of and tell him that you want to choose him today and that you need him, like, God, I don't know what to do. 76 00:08:51,168.28364878 --> 00:08:55,127.33331436 I need you to help me sever this tie in the spirit. 77 00:08:55,513.19041773 --> 00:08:59,113.19041773 He will answer you, okay? In his timing, he will answer you. 78 00:08:59,113.19041773 --> 00:09:01,283.19141773 Just Be bold, be honest with him. 79 00:09:01,283.19141773 --> 00:09:02,573.19141773 He already knows everything. 80 00:09:02,891.33961604 --> 00:09:04,411.33961604 And just open up your heart before him. 81 00:09:04,431.33961604 --> 00:09:09,671.33961604 And you'd be surprised how much he will come in and heal the wounds that you don't even know what to do with. 82 00:09:10,270.08623705 --> 00:09:12,610.08623705 Hey there, my beautiful sister. 83 00:09:12,860.08623705 --> 00:09:20,990.08623705 I've heard you loud and clear, and I see the pain that you're holding onto from that recent or not so recent heartbreak. 84 00:09:21,230.08623705 --> 00:09:26,440.08523705 It's time to let go, start healing and step into the future as the best version of you. 85 00:09:26,680.08523705 --> 00:09:30,800.08523705 Join me for a one hour live workshop from heartbreak to healing. 86 00:09:31,10.08523705 --> 00:09:45,75.08623705 In our time together, you'll learn how to find clarity on your triggers and trust God's plan by deepening your relationship with Jesus, How to transform negative beliefs to stop the negative self talk and address the toxic patterns holding you back. 87 00:09:45,265.08623705 --> 00:09:52,585.08623705 And then finally, how to prepare your heart for a healthy future by getting to the root of who you are and what you truly want. 88 00:09:52,755.08623705 --> 00:10:06,785.08523705 This workshop is designed to support your healing journey with a no fluff, biblically based framework that will help you move past heartbreak, toxic relationships, and negative thought patterns, laying the foundation for future healthy relationships. 89 00:10:07,240.08623705 --> 00:10:09,170.08623705 So go ahead, mark your calendar. 90 00:10:09,260.08623705 --> 00:10:13,50.08623705 This workshop is happening on Tuesday, August 27th at 4 p. 91 00:10:13,50.08623705 --> 00:10:13,190.08623705 m. 92 00:10:13,210.08623705 --> 00:10:14,950.08623705 PST, 7 p. 93 00:10:14,950.08623705 --> 00:10:15,150.08623705 m. 94 00:10:15,190.08623705 --> 00:10:15,900.08623705 EST. 95 00:10:16,180.08523705 --> 00:10:20,350.08623705 All you need is a journal, an open heart, and your favorite mocktail. 96 00:10:20,610.08623705 --> 00:10:22,790.08623705 Grab your spot at lovedanny. 97 00:10:22,830.08623705 --> 00:10:24,640.08623705 org slash workshop. 98 00:10:24,800.08523705 --> 00:10:30,770.08523705 And by registering and joining live, you'll be entered to win a hand picked gift that I know you'll love. 99 00:10:30,950.08523705 --> 00:10:35,830.08523705 I can't wait to see you there and witness this start of your beautiful transformation. 100 00:10:36,950.08623705 --> 00:10:40,760.08623705 Healing is possible and a joyful, peaceful life is within reach. 101 00:10:41,40.08623705 --> 00:10:43,580.08623705 Let's go from heartbreak to healing together. 102 00:10:44,44.81265648 --> 00:10:51,698.34046602 The third step to break the emotional tie is to renounce the relationship, the sin, and all spirits. 103 00:10:52,128.34046602 --> 00:11:09,477.53200815 Okay, I'm gonna dive into this a little bit so that way you know, okay, what the heck does that mean? So really what renounce just means is it means you are declaring that you're done and that you will no longer engage in XYZ, whatever it is that you're renouncing. 104 00:11:09,917.53200815 --> 00:11:11,587.53200815 In this case, we are renouncing. 105 00:11:11,887.53200815 --> 00:11:12,457.53200815 Intimacy. 106 00:11:12,717.53200815 --> 00:11:13,257.53200815 Intimacy. 107 00:11:13,563.90569895 --> 00:11:21,948.66842366 intimacy with this person and all the things that they, the baggage that they carried, the spirits that they carried over, okay? The trauma that they were carrying. 108 00:11:22,132.07070503 --> 00:11:24,182.07070503 It's interesting how these things work. 109 00:11:24,452.07070503 --> 00:11:29,252.07070503 You know, I don't, I don't know all the things that go on spiritually. 110 00:11:29,335.62996429 --> 00:11:34,525.62996429 But I mean, this is how generational trauma or spirits work, right? Like they get passed down. 111 00:11:34,525.62996429 --> 00:11:43,68.01206699 So say your past partner had previous partners, what happens in that instance is whoever you're intimate with, you are bringing on. 112 00:11:43,143.09019199 --> 00:11:44,433.09019199 Their baggage. 113 00:11:44,483.09019199 --> 00:11:51,525.64227532 Okay, you are accepting all that they are The spirits that are latched on to them And then they bring that to the relationship with you. 114 00:11:51,734.61262949 --> 00:12:19,405.06024407 So you're not just intimate with past partner you're intimate with all the people that they had been intimate with and like I said before this is important because if you don't do this Satan has this legal right to come in and out of these open doors You And he's going to continue to use this pain, the lust, all these things as an opening to come in and to torment you, To heighten these emotions, to make you fall back into the relationship or another toxic relationship. 115 00:12:19,613.34735345 --> 00:12:24,135.61145935 Versus, again, renouncing all of that and saying, I am done. 116 00:12:24,155.61145935 --> 00:12:30,567.40616421 I am declaring that I do not come into agreement with anything that I picked up from this past relationship. 117 00:12:30,717.43763122 --> 00:12:32,587.43713122 So that way you can break free and move forward from it. 118 00:12:32,587.43713122 --> 00:12:36,437.43763122 And this is why we repent first and then we enter into renouncing it. 119 00:12:36,787.43763122 --> 00:12:46,80.77776548 So it can go something like, dear heavenly father, I renounce this soul tie with name, His name and break this alliance. 120 00:12:46,370.77776548 --> 00:12:53,590.77776548 I renounce the spirit of lust and cancel the legal right of Satan to operate this way in my life. 121 00:12:53,825.37108171 --> 00:12:58,615.37208171 I accept the finished work that you did on the cross so I can move forward in freedom. 122 00:12:59,147.35651719 --> 00:13:04,789.0254316 Okay, the fourth step of how to break this emotional tie is to break the soul tie. 123 00:13:04,971.76339771 --> 00:13:08,501.76339771 So let me explain what a soul tie is in a biblical perspective. 124 00:13:08,666.78784216 --> 00:13:16,236.78784216 So, starting with what a soul is, okay? A soul has three things, mind, will, and emotions. 125 00:13:16,826.78784216 --> 00:13:22,736.78784216 And a tie is something that binds, fastens, attaches, or restrains. 126 00:13:23,331.78784216 --> 00:13:32,651.78684216 So a soul tie is an attachment in our mind and or emotions to a person that can influence the choices of our will. 127 00:13:32,651.88684216 --> 00:13:39,801.78784216 So the fact that you feel attached is a sign that there is a soul tie there. 128 00:13:40,231.78784216 --> 00:13:43,45.39846716 Because it's influencing your choices. 129 00:13:43,196.46513382 --> 00:13:47,86.46513382 And this is an analogy that I had learned from a spiritual mentor. 130 00:13:47,300.5271998 --> 00:13:51,400.5271998 They described it as an umbilical cord between a mother and a child. 131 00:13:51,696.13585142 --> 00:13:55,916.13585142 And a soul tie is like this spiritual cord between two people. 132 00:13:56,111.1616471 --> 00:14:00,491.1616471 And the way that they're formed, they're formed through emotional bonds or sexual relations between two people. 133 00:14:00,541.1606471 --> 00:14:03,391.1616471 Okay, there can be good soul ties and bad soul ties. 134 00:14:03,689.2866471 --> 00:14:06,899.2866471 soul tie isn't mentioned in the bible as a soul tie. 135 00:14:07,139.2856471 --> 00:14:09,319.2866471 It uses words like unite and join. 136 00:14:09,504.77723686 --> 00:14:16,604.77623686 in Genesis 2, 24, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they shall become one flesh. 137 00:14:17,31.44290353 --> 00:14:18,921.34190353 Matthew 19, 6. 138 00:14:18,921.44190353 --> 00:14:21,281.44390353 So they are no longer two, but one. 139 00:14:21,511.44290353 --> 00:14:25,61.44290353 Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate. 140 00:14:25,332.6762904 --> 00:14:28,832.6762904 Now we can have a whole episode about soul ties. 141 00:14:29,127.6762904 --> 00:14:32,397.6762904 Let me know if that's something that you would want to learn more about. 142 00:14:32,407.6762904 --> 00:14:39,617.6762904 Let me know over in the Facebook group and I can get you guys over one, but I want to focus on this unhealthy soul tie. 143 00:14:39,697.6752904 --> 00:14:40,97.6752904 Okay. 144 00:14:40,283.18130098 --> 00:14:54,337.39948468 How you know you have this unhealthy emotional soul tie is if you have an unhealthy dependence on relationships, okay? You're doing anything to hold onto a relationship to avoid the feeling of abandonment, You have this extreme need for approval and recognition. 145 00:14:54,597.40048468 --> 00:14:56,787.39948468 You have a compelling need to control others. 146 00:14:56,787.49948468 --> 00:14:59,760.57551498 You have problems with intimacy and boundaries. 147 00:15:00,4.92325143 --> 00:15:12,267.74943573 And so when we have these soul ties, what do you think? The only way to separate and break break this spiritual tie to this person? We've got to come to the feet of Jesus and be washed by his word. 148 00:15:12,577.74943573 --> 00:15:21,187.74843573 We have to come into agreement and declare that we are the dwelling place for the Holy Spirit, that we are his temple and we are coming back to that. 149 00:15:21,574.37414941 --> 00:15:30,606.71434254 So how you break this soul tie is you want to write his name on a sheet of paper, and then you want to start renouncing and breaking the soul tie. 150 00:15:30,606.71434254 --> 00:15:58,71.87845819 So similar to the prayer that I mentioned up before, and stop number three You want to just renounce and break the soul tie and state his name and Go ahead and cross out his name on the sheet of paper and putting these things to paper like do this stuff it's very powerful and Then tear the sheet of paper up after you've done that and stomp on it and then just accept the freedom and anointing of the Lord, know that you are free once you have severed that soul tie in the spirit. 151 00:15:58,241.87845819 --> 00:15:59,641.87845819 Just believe that he has. 152 00:16:00,11.87845819 --> 00:16:07,654.27429152 And now for the fifth and final step of breaking this emotional tie is you want to change your perspective, okay? You want to start looking at the bigger picture. 153 00:16:07,873.04886866 --> 00:16:11,914.94077943 So let's come to what the reality of the world that we live in. 154 00:16:12,254.94077943 --> 00:16:16,54.94077943 All right, we start at zero with nothing. 155 00:16:16,330.88166194 --> 00:16:17,840.88066194 And we will end at zero. 156 00:16:18,103.93447122 --> 00:16:24,63.93547122 The word says naked, a man comes from his mother's womb and as he comes, so he departs. 157 00:16:24,302.12788401 --> 00:16:26,372.12788401 this, this life is going to end one day. 158 00:16:26,737.07795959 --> 00:17:38,811.1069743 So in this in between time, between these two zeros, what is the vision that you have for your life? Is it to stay in relationships that are unhealthy for you to continue generational trauma after you to be with a man that you are hesitant to even make a father? To live in fear, to live in regret, to live in self doubt, to feel unworthy, to feel this unhealthy attachment to somebody, to where it totally controls you, like is this the way that you want to live in between the two zeros? Or will we have this eternal perspective and will we choose the Lord, Will we choose to fall at his feet and to seek him during this tough time and will we believe that he can get us through this and that the rest of our time between the two zeros is going to be fruitful, is going to be full of healthy and life giving relationships and the family and marriage that you actually want? the person that you decide to marry is so important, it's the second most important decision of your entire life, right after giving your life to Jesus, because the man that you decide to marry is going to either pull you closer to the Lord and to the purpose and call he has over your life, or he's going to strip it away from you. 159 00:17:39,102.8949789 --> 00:17:44,522.8954789 so I want to ask you these questions, write them down and answer them because this is how you're going to start to look at the bigger picture. 160 00:17:44,522.8954789 --> 00:17:46,212.8949789 You've got to ask yourself the right questions. 161 00:17:46,449.8751456 --> 00:18:16,564.6802289 What is the vision for your life? is this the man that you want to raise your kids to be with you through pregnancy and postpartum? Are you safe and secure with him? Why? Why isn't this the man that you would want your daughter to marry? why would you, why would you not want your daughter to marry this type of man? Okay, what are, what are the characteristics? What do you see in him that you would not want for your daughter? After you write down these qualities that you see that you would not want in your future daughter's husband, on the flip side, write out what you would actually want. 162 00:18:16,564.6802289 --> 00:18:17,524.6812289 The opposite of that. 163 00:18:17,534.6812289 --> 00:18:31,69.7473331 What are the characteristics that you would want to see in your daughter's husband or in the husband that you want for yourself? And then go back to that list and look at that list when you do feel weak because Without vision, people perish and it's for a reason. 164 00:18:31,69.7473331 --> 00:18:46,978.4843122 We do not have our eyes on a destination, so when we do not look at the bigger picture, we can be so microscopic of this moment in time, feel all the feels, feel all the emotions, and let our emotions drive us, versus taking a step out and looking at the bigger picture. 165 00:18:47,213.405053 --> 00:18:47,963.405053 So those steps again. 166 00:18:48,498.4063869 --> 00:18:52,168.4063869 Number one, go no contact both virtual and physical. 167 00:18:52,338.4063869 --> 00:18:56,748.4053869 Number two, get honest with God and repent if there have been sexual relations. 168 00:18:56,748.4053869 --> 00:19:00,28.4063869 You do this through prayer and just being so open with him. 169 00:19:00,658.4063869 --> 00:19:06,228.4063869 Number three, you want to renounce the relationship, the sin and all spirits. 170 00:19:06,577.9946139 --> 00:19:08,757.9946139 Number four, you want to break the soul tie. 171 00:19:08,937.9936139 --> 00:19:11,867.9946139 You do that through the paper exercise and also through prayer. 172 00:19:11,981.3279473 --> 00:19:13,281.3274473 And the Lord will be faithful. 173 00:19:13,281.3274473 --> 00:19:15,401.3279473 Remember that He has washed you white as snow. 174 00:19:15,401.3279473 --> 00:19:26,771.3279473 So do not allow Satan to come in and think that you are unclean because God has already done the work that He finished on the cross to make you clean and holy and righteous through His blood. 175 00:19:26,771.3279473 --> 00:19:26,891.3279473 Amen. 176 00:19:27,236.9659681 --> 00:19:30,116.9659681 and then number five, look at the bigger picture. 177 00:19:30,239.1945324 --> 00:19:37,279.1945324 If you do these five things, I promise you, you will come out on the other side, feeling free from the chains of this past relationship. 178 00:19:37,587.6320324 --> 00:19:53,127.4888033 Now, if you're feeling a little bit overwhelmed or you know, once you turn this episode off, these things, you may do it, you may not do it, and you need a little bit of accountability or somebody there to hold your hand and guide you to truly launch you in full force in your healing journey. 179 00:19:53,324.3638033 --> 00:19:56,144.3638033 This is exactly what the Heartbreak to Healing Workshop is for. 180 00:19:56,164.3638033 --> 00:19:59,757.6971366 You have literally one more day To register and join me live. 181 00:19:59,767.6971366 --> 00:20:03,557.6971366 It's going to be Tuesday, August 27th, tomorrow at 6 p. 182 00:20:03,557.6971366 --> 00:20:03,697.6971366 m. 183 00:20:03,737.6971366 --> 00:20:04,707.6971366 Central Standard Time. 184 00:20:04,977.6971366 --> 00:20:08,417.6971366 And even if you're like, Oh my gosh, well, that's your time or I have something going on. 185 00:20:08,467.6971366 --> 00:20:13,138.3221366 Still sign up because I'm going to be sending out everybody who registers the replay. 186 00:20:13,270.692395 --> 00:20:28,651.49843 It's going to be such a fun, life giving and intimate time where you're going to be able to do these healing practices so that way you get the reps in and you know how to do them and then that way you can bring what you learn in the workshop over with you into your day to day life. 187 00:20:29,11.49843 --> 00:20:32,801.39943 Another thing I'm really excited about for it is you're going to be able to share and be in a session. 188 00:20:32,811.49943 --> 00:20:38,357.3928771 safe space in a community with other women who are going through similar situations. 189 00:20:38,647.3928771 --> 00:20:46,437.3928771 And one thing that I've learned in being through different trauma coaching and mindset calls that I've been on sharing is truly so healing and empowering. 190 00:20:46,437.3928771 --> 00:20:49,354.3817852 So if you're kind of alone in this walk, come join us. 191 00:20:49,502.6781019 --> 00:20:53,902.6781019 Plus, you'll be entered to win a journal and Bible study resource bundle. 192 00:20:54,23.959213 --> 00:21:02,913.959213 I can't wait to see you there, until then, may God God bless you with all the peace, joy, and faith that you need to fight this good fight of faith. 193 00:21:03,237.3079974 --> 00:21:04,127.3079974 Hey, beautiful. 194 00:21:04,167.3079974 --> 00:21:07,737.3079974 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 195 00:21:08,37.3079974 --> 00:21:22,167.3079974 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 196 00:21:22,167.3079974 --> 00:21:27,567.3079974 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 197 00:21:27,842.3079974 --> 00:21:33,222.3079974 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 198 00:21:33,292.3079974 --> 00:21:33,712.3079974 Okay. 199 00:21:33,812.3079974 --> 00:21:36,382.3079974 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 200 00:21:36,542.3079974 --> 00:21:42,512.3079974 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
.4963517442Hi, beautiful We've all been there. 2 00:00:02,390.4963517442 --> 00:00:09,385.3331738122 Haven't we? filling this attachment to this person who hurt you over and over and over again. 3 00:00:09,652.0278511377 --> 00:00:21,897.655467417 After you've given him a chance after chance, after chance, you are in this place where you keep questioning, why are you still so attached? You're starting to hate yourself for it. 4 00:00:21,897.655467417 --> 00:00:29,996.327842417 You question why you still love him and why you can't just let go and move on, especially to somebody who has hurt you over and over again. 5 00:00:30,172.994509083 --> 00:00:56,606.550194847 You feel like you can't be super honest with that many people in your life because you don't want them to judge you or think you're crazy because you literally feel crazy and your heart just hurts because you know deep down that you have to let him go but the question is how do you actually start to let him go when you feel like you want to hang on and you want to cling on to that hope and when the feelings are still so strong? It feels almost impossible. 6 00:00:56,656.550194847 --> 00:00:57,46.550194847 Yeah. 7 00:00:57,450.987972625 --> 00:01:03,90.987972625 So, get ready, because we're cutting straight to the meat of how to really tackle this thing in the spirit. 8 00:01:03,430.987972625 --> 00:01:08,470.987972625 Hey beautiful! Welcome to the Heal from Toxic Relationships podcast. 9 00:01:08,590.987972625 --> 00:01:31,290.987972625 Are you ready to break free from toxic relationship patterns and fully embrace a life filled with confidence, joy, and purpose? Do you find yourself questioning your self worth and wondering what God's plan for your life is? Or maybe you deeply fear being alone and struggle with the lack of boundaries due to your people pleasing tendencies. 10 00:01:31,340.986972625 --> 00:01:32,880.986972625 Well, sis, you're not alone. 11 00:01:32,950.987972625 --> 00:01:34,80.987972625 I've been there, too. 12 00:01:34,190.987972625 --> 00:01:41,360.98797263 Hey, I'm Dani, a Christian life coach, wife, recovering people pleaser, And a total girl's girl. 13 00:01:41,480.98797263 --> 00:01:52,620.98797263 For 10 years, I was stuck in a cycle of toxic, non committed relationships, and searching for my worth in men, my accomplishments, and the praise of other people. 14 00:01:52,660.98797263 --> 00:01:58,190.98797263 Until I found out how to heal my past emotional wounds with Christ at the center. 15 00:01:58,355.98797263 --> 00:02:13,535.98797263 In this podcast, you will find faith based healing tools, confidence building tips, and healthy relationship skills so that you become a God fearing, confident woman who attracts your husband while walking in your purpose with God. 16 00:02:13,675.98697263 --> 00:02:16,645.98797263 Grab your favorite mocktail and pop in the AirPods. 17 00:02:16,775.98797263 --> 00:02:22,795.98797263 It's time to overshare and overcome these obstacles together, one step at a time. 18 00:02:23,111.57754179 --> 00:02:28,221.57754179 So I remember when I found out my very first boyfriend had slept with another girl. 19 00:02:28,721.57754179 --> 00:02:35,254.07754179 Uh, I was absolutely devastated, as we all would be, or have been if you've been in that situation. 20 00:02:35,571.13383345 --> 00:02:41,891.13483345 and, you know, I remember all my friends that I had, like, at the time, being super encouraging. 21 00:02:41,978.60879179 --> 00:02:47,246.55150012 To me they were telling me over and over he wasn't good for you Anyway, it was time to leave him and get away. 22 00:02:47,246.55150012 --> 00:02:53,425.48038467 You deserve better all the right things right that friends are supposed to say You would think like okay. 23 00:02:53,425.48038467 --> 00:02:57,964.30184879 Yeah, like my friends are speaking these things over me like I agree, you know headwise. 24 00:02:58,4.30184879 --> 00:02:58,484.30184879 I agree. 25 00:02:58,514.30184879 --> 00:03:11,611.72339693 I do deserve butter, but my heart was still attached And I spent weeks laying in my bed after school not wanting to do anything Just listening to music and just was feeling the heartbreak. 26 00:03:11,963.11610863 --> 00:03:27,153.11610863 And after all of that, after like mourning the relationship and feeling heartbroken and feeling like our trust was completely shattered and it like crushed my dream of my first kiss and everything being the man that I marry. 27 00:03:27,153.11610863 --> 00:03:28,353.11610863 I mean, it was all crushed. 28 00:03:28,768.11610863 --> 00:03:32,278.11610863 And all of that, I mean, it ended up going back to him. 29 00:03:32,488.11610863 --> 00:03:39,639.74366776 And that started a whole nother four years, um, of us being on and then off and then on and then off. 30 00:03:39,919.74266776 --> 00:03:44,29.74366776 And it was a total toxic relationship because there was a lack of trust. 31 00:03:44,399.74366776 --> 00:03:46,29.74266776 There was insecurity within him. 32 00:03:46,374.74366776 --> 00:03:57,704.74266776 because of the fact that he had betrayed me and it just was full of controlling tendencies, manipulations, and just angry outbursts. 33 00:03:57,764.74366776 --> 00:04:04,224.74366776 And neither one of us knew how to regulate our emotions and to actually resolve conflict and move forward in a healthy way. 34 00:04:04,457.28218708 --> 00:04:07,87.28218708 And so this is what I want to prevent for you. 35 00:04:07,367.28218708 --> 00:04:13,127.28218708 And I want to share five steps to actually break the emotional and honestly spiritual tie. 36 00:04:13,597.28218708 --> 00:04:23,938.34733924 And finally move on because these are the things that I wish somebody would have told me that would have allowed me to cut that off, move on and save four years of being in a toxic relationship. 37 00:04:24,299.853594 --> 00:04:30,899.853594 So, step number one to break this emotional tie is, sis, you've got to go no contact. 38 00:04:31,29.853594 --> 00:04:33,669.852594 I'm sure you've heard this multiple times before. 39 00:04:34,39.853594 --> 00:04:34,919.853594 This is a must. 40 00:04:34,949.852594 --> 00:04:58,594.09248851 You have to go no contact and this is including both virtual and physical because What makes you think you can, you know, move on if you're trying to be friends with him, if you are around people that you guys used to hang out with together, if you are looking at old pictures, if his name's popping up on your phone and it's giving you these little Like fluttering feelings of, Oh, he's still thinking about me. 41 00:04:58,594.09248851 --> 00:04:59,674.09248851 Or, Oh, maybe there's hope. 42 00:04:59,674.09248851 --> 00:05:06,674.09248851 Like, no, you have to cut it all off, remove the hope of the relationship and the hope in the future without him. 43 00:05:06,754.09148851 --> 00:05:07,854.09248851 That's where you need to put your hope. 44 00:05:08,174.09148851 --> 00:05:10,344.09148851 And how to do that is you go no contact. 45 00:05:10,541.31348799 --> 00:05:10,901.31348799 Okay. 46 00:05:11,181.31348799 --> 00:05:13,832.0888238 So you want to block them from all social medias. 47 00:05:13,882.0898238 --> 00:05:17,32.0898238 And some people may say this is extreme, but this is something you have to do. 48 00:05:17,412.0898238 --> 00:05:22,455.34684057 You know, it doesn't have to be because you hate the man it can literally be no bad blood. 49 00:05:22,465.34684057 --> 00:05:26,178.6801739 You can literally forgive him And still have him blocked from absolutely everything. 50 00:05:26,238.6791739 --> 00:06:04,837.99427575 I still have my first ex blocked from absolutely everything because I don't even want any of that in my mind Right like no so on top of blocking him if there's any friends of his family members that you need to block You need to go ahead and do that phone social media Everything that he can contact you in the second step to break this tie Is you want to get so honest with the lord? And you want to repent if there have been any sexual relations Okay, and before you cut this off Let me just share with you what repent means Okay, so repent really just means to turn around and go the other way. 51 00:06:05,267.99427575 --> 00:06:19,477.99427575 You're making this decision to do a one 80 turn from the life that you've been living, from the decisions that you've been making, from the thoughts that you've been thinking and you are deciding, okay, I am turning completely around and I'm walking in the other direction. 52 00:06:19,497.99427575 --> 00:06:21,777.99427575 You're walking in the opposite direction of him. 53 00:06:21,971.0404019 --> 00:06:27,102.86192769 This is how you're going to change your thinking because if we're being real, we can only do so much out of willpower. 54 00:06:27,278.52599019 --> 00:07:13,557.98800023 I was leaning on my willpower and look at where that got me Okay, I didn't know the lord at the time But I wish I did because it probably would have made me feel stronger and it would have allowed me to know a love Deeper than anything that I would find in a man And so when we've been connected to somebody emotionally and or physically There's a spiritual tie and connection point and we need it's not like a oh, it would be nice It's a deep need we need the power of the living god We need the power of the holy spirit to lift that off of us so we can be free we can't do it on our own because all this hurt and pain and lust and impurity and emotional ties and words that have come from that relationship. 55 00:07:13,557.98800023 --> 00:07:32,851.70617891 Like these are all possible open doors for Satan to just walk in and out of and continue to torment you, um, and to drag you back down AKA dragging you back in that relationship if he knows that is not the thing that's going to propel you forward and to fulfill your purpose and call that God has for you. 56 00:07:32,881.70617891 --> 00:07:34,531.70617891 He wants to keep you in the darkness. 57 00:07:35,23.74617049 --> 00:07:36,933.74617049 He wants to keep you separated from God. 58 00:07:37,262.0394996 --> 00:07:44,562.0394996 and if he can do that within a relationship with a man, a toxic man that you love, oh, he's going to do everything that he can to do that. 59 00:07:44,942.0394996 --> 00:07:46,181.9394996 So you need to. 60 00:07:46,522.0394996 --> 00:07:53,887.03791305 To get spiritual and break this thing, okay? So how you want to practice this is literally just in prayer. 61 00:07:54,217.03791305 --> 00:08:02,500.14247582 You want to check your heart, yeah? Because we must enter God's throne room with humility, Can't have pride. 62 00:08:02,500.14247582 --> 00:08:03,630.14347582 He can't work with pride. 63 00:08:03,845.33720048 --> 00:08:05,725.33720048 imagine speaking to somebody with so much pride. 64 00:08:05,915.33720048 --> 00:08:07,445.33720048 You literally cannot get through to them. 65 00:08:07,535.33720048 --> 00:08:08,675.33720048 You don't even want to. 66 00:08:08,812.15953565 --> 00:08:09,562.15953565 To talk to them. 67 00:08:09,662.15953565 --> 00:08:10,142.15953565 Okay. 68 00:08:10,162.15953565 --> 00:08:12,782.15953565 They suck to talk to people that have so much pride. 69 00:08:13,152.15953565 --> 00:08:20,42.15953565 So you want to enter his throne room with a humble heart and literally you can start off prayer asking him, say, Lord, search my heart. 70 00:08:20,442.15853565 --> 00:08:21,832.15953565 No, my anxious thoughts. 71 00:08:22,132.15953565 --> 00:08:25,972.15953565 See if there's any offensive way in me, lead me in the way everlasting. 72 00:08:26,532.15853565 --> 00:08:29,137.04312557 God, I ask for your forgiveness, Lord. 73 00:08:29,137.04312557 --> 00:08:36,626.8969186 I repent listening to the lies of the enemy, to listening to my flesh and my, my desires and my lust. 74 00:08:36,998.58600105 --> 00:08:43,768.58600105 and just the sinful nature, God I repent from wandering off from you for making this relationship an idol in my life. 75 00:08:44,87.73070943 --> 00:08:51,168.28264878 whatever you know you need to repent of and tell him that you want to choose him today and that you need him, like, God, I don't know what to do. 76 00:08:51,168.28364878 --> 00:08:55,127.33331436 I need you to help me sever this tie in the spirit. 77 00:08:55,513.19041773 --> 00:08:59,113.19041773 He will answer you, okay? In his timing, he will answer you. 78 00:08:59,113.19041773 --> 00:09:01,283.19141773 Just Be bold, be honest with him. 79 00:09:01,283.19141773 --> 00:09:02,573.19141773 He already knows everything. 80 00:09:02,891.33961604 --> 00:09:04,411.33961604 And just open up your heart before him. 81 00:09:04,431.33961604 --> 00:09:09,671.33961604 And you'd be surprised how much he will come in and heal the wounds that you don't even know what to do with. 82 00:09:10,270.08623705 --> 00:09:12,610.08623705 Hey there, my beautiful sister. 83 00:09:12,860.08623705 --> 00:09:20,990.08623705 I've heard you loud and clear, and I see the pain that you're holding onto from that recent or not so recent heartbreak. 84 00:09:21,230.08623705 --> 00:09:26,440.08523705 It's time to let go, start healing and step into the future as the best version of you. 85 00:09:26,680.08523705 --> 00:09:30,800.08523705 Join me for a one hour live workshop from heartbreak to healing. 86 00:09:31,10.08523705 --> 00:09:45,75.08623705 In our time together, you'll learn how to find clarity on your triggers and trust God's plan by deepening your relationship with Jesus, How to transform negative beliefs to stop the negative self talk and address the toxic patterns holding you back. 87 00:09:45,265.08623705 --> 00:09:52,585.08623705 And then finally, how to prepare your heart for a healthy future by getting to the root of who you are and what you truly want. 88 00:09:52,755.08623705 --> 00:10:06,785.08523705 This workshop is designed to support your healing journey with a no fluff, biblically based framework that will help you move past heartbreak, toxic relationships, and negative thought patterns, laying the foundation for future healthy relationships. 89 00:10:07,240.08623705 --> 00:10:09,170.08623705 So go ahead, mark your calendar. 90 00:10:09,260.08623705 --> 00:10:13,50.08623705 This workshop is happening on Tuesday, August 27th at 4 p. 91 00:10:13,50.08623705 --> 00:10:13,190.08623705 m. 92 00:10:13,210.08623705 --> 00:10:14,950.08623705 PST, 7 p. 93 00:10:14,950.08623705 --> 00:10:15,150.08623705 m. 94 00:10:15,190.08623705 --> 00:10:15,900.08623705 EST. 95 00:10:16,180.08523705 --> 00:10:20,350.08623705 All you need is a journal, an open heart, and your favorite mocktail. 96 00:10:20,610.08623705 --> 00:10:22,790.08623705 Grab your spot at lovedanny. 97 00:10:22,830.08623705 --> 00:10:24,640.08623705 org slash workshop. 98 00:10:24,800.08523705 --> 00:10:30,770.08523705 And by registering and joining live, you'll be entered to win a hand picked gift that I know you'll love. 99 00:10:30,950.08523705 --> 00:10:35,830.08523705 I can't wait to see you there and witness this start of your beautiful transformation. 100 00:10:36,950.08623705 --> 00:10:40,760.08623705 Healing is possible and a joyful, peaceful life is within reach. 101 00:10:41,40.08623705 --> 00:10:43,580.08623705 Let's go from heartbreak to healing together. 102 00:10:44,44.81265648 --> 00:10:51,698.34046602 The third step to break the emotional tie is to renounce the relationship, the sin, and all spirits. 103 00:10:52,128.34046602 --> 00:11:09,477.53200815 Okay, I'm gonna dive into this a little bit so that way you know, okay, what the heck does that mean? So really what renounce just means is it means you are declaring that you're done and that you will no longer engage in XYZ, whatever it is that you're renouncing. 104 00:11:09,917.53200815 --> 00:11:11,587.53200815 In this case, we are renouncing. 105 00:11:11,887.53200815 --> 00:11:12,457.53200815 Intimacy. 106 00:11:12,717.53200815 --> 00:11:13,257.53200815 Intimacy. 107 00:11:13,563.90569895 --> 00:11:21,948.66842366 intimacy with this person and all the things that they, the baggage that they carried, the spirits that they carried over, okay? The trauma that they were carrying. 108 00:11:22,132.07070503 --> 00:11:24,182.07070503 It's interesting how these things work. 109 00:11:24,452.07070503 --> 00:11:29,252.07070503 You know, I don't, I don't know all the things that go on spiritually. 110 00:11:29,335.62996429 --> 00:11:34,525.62996429 But I mean, this is how generational trauma or spirits work, right? Like they get passed down. 111 00:11:34,525.62996429 --> 00:11:43,68.01206699 So say your past partner had previous partners, what happens in that instance is whoever you're intimate with, you are bringing on. 112 00:11:43,143.09019199 --> 00:11:44,433.09019199 Their baggage. 113 00:11:44,483.09019199 --> 00:11:51,525.64227532 Okay, you are accepting all that they are The spirits that are latched on to them And then they bring that to the relationship with you. 114 00:11:51,734.61262949 --> 00:12:19,405.06024407 So you're not just intimate with past partner you're intimate with all the people that they had been intimate with and like I said before this is important because if you don't do this Satan has this legal right to come in and out of these open doors You And he's going to continue to use this pain, the lust, all these things as an opening to come in and to torment you, To heighten these emotions, to make you fall back into the relationship or another toxic relationship. 115 00:12:19,613.34735345 --> 00:12:24,135.61145935 Versus, again, renouncing all of that and saying, I am done. 116 00:12:24,155.61145935 --> 00:12:30,567.40616421 I am declaring that I do not come into agreement with anything that I picked up from this past relationship. 117 00:12:30,717.43763122 --> 00:12:32,587.43713122 So that way you can break free and move forward from it. 118 00:12:32,587.43713122 --> 00:12:36,437.43763122 And this is why we repent first and then we enter into renouncing it. 119 00:12:36,787.43763122 --> 00:12:46,80.77776548 So it can go something like, dear heavenly father, I renounce this soul tie with name, His name and break this alliance. 120 00:12:46,370.77776548 --> 00:12:53,590.77776548 I renounce the spirit of lust and cancel the legal right of Satan to operate this way in my life. 121 00:12:53,825.37108171 --> 00:12:58,615.37208171 I accept the finished work that you did on the cross so I can move forward in freedom. 122 00:12:59,147.35651719 --> 00:13:04,789.0254316 Okay, the fourth step of how to break this emotional tie is to break the soul tie. 123 00:13:04,971.76339771 --> 00:13:08,501.76339771 So let me explain what a soul tie is in a biblical perspective. 124 00:13:08,666.78784216 --> 00:13:16,236.78784216 So, starting with what a soul is, okay? A soul has three things, mind, will, and emotions. 125 00:13:16,826.78784216 --> 00:13:22,736.78784216 And a tie is something that binds, fastens, attaches, or restrains. 126 00:13:23,331.78784216 --> 00:13:32,651.78684216 So a soul tie is an attachment in our mind and or emotions to a person that can influence the choices of our will. 127 00:13:32,651.88684216 --> 00:13:39,801.78784216 So the fact that you feel attached is a sign that there is a soul tie there. 128 00:13:40,231.78784216 --> 00:13:43,45.39846716 Because it's influencing your choices. 129 00:13:43,196.46513382 --> 00:13:47,86.46513382 And this is an analogy that I had learned from a spiritual mentor. 130 00:13:47,300.5271998 --> 00:13:51,400.5271998 They described it as an umbilical cord between a mother and a child. 131 00:13:51,696.13585142 --> 00:13:55,916.13585142 And a soul tie is like this spiritual cord between two people. 132 00:13:56,111.1616471 --> 00:14:00,491.1616471 And the way that they're formed, they're formed through emotional bonds or sexual relations between two people. 133 00:14:00,541.1606471 --> 00:14:03,391.1616471 Okay, there can be good soul ties and bad soul ties. 134 00:14:03,689.2866471 --> 00:14:06,899.2866471 soul tie isn't mentioned in the bible as a soul tie. 135 00:14:07,139.2856471 --> 00:14:09,319.2866471 It uses words like unite and join. 136 00:14:09,504.77723686 --> 00:14:16,604.77623686 in Genesis 2, 24, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they shall become one flesh. 137 00:14:17,31.44290353 --> 00:14:18,921.34190353 Matthew 19, 6. 138 00:14:18,921.44190353 --> 00:14:21,281.44390353 So they are no longer two, but one. 139 00:14:21,511.44290353 --> 00:14:25,61.44290353 Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate. 140 00:14:25,332.6762904 --> 00:14:28,832.6762904 Now we can have a whole episode about soul ties. 141 00:14:29,127.6762904 --> 00:14:32,397.6762904 Let me know if that's something that you would want to learn more about. 142 00:14:32,407.6762904 --> 00:14:39,617.6762904 Let me know over in the Facebook group and I can get you guys over one, but I want to focus on this unhealthy soul tie. 143 00:14:39,697.6752904 --> 00:14:40,97.6752904 Okay. 144 00:14:40,283.18130098 --> 00:14:54,337.39948468 How you know you have this unhealthy emotional soul tie is if you have an unhealthy dependence on relationships, okay? You're doing anything to hold onto a relationship to avoid the feeling of abandonment, You have this extreme need for approval and recognition. 145 00:14:54,597.40048468 --> 00:14:56,787.39948468 You have a compelling need to control others. 146 00:14:56,787.49948468 --> 00:14:59,760.57551498 You have problems with intimacy and boundaries. 147 00:15:00,4.92325143 --> 00:15:12,267.74943573 And so when we have these soul ties, what do you think? The only way to separate and break break this spiritual tie to this person? We've got to come to the feet of Jesus and be washed by his word. 148 00:15:12,577.74943573 --> 00:15:21,187.74843573 We have to come into agreement and declare that we are the dwelling place for the Holy Spirit, that we are his temple and we are coming back to that. 149 00:15:21,574.37414941 --> 00:15:30,606.71434254 So how you break this soul tie is you want to write his name on a sheet of paper, and then you want to start renouncing and breaking the soul tie. 150 00:15:30,606.71434254 --> 00:15:58,71.87845819 So similar to the prayer that I mentioned up before, and stop number three You want to just renounce and break the soul tie and state his name and Go ahead and cross out his name on the sheet of paper and putting these things to paper like do this stuff it's very powerful and Then tear the sheet of paper up after you've done that and stomp on it and then just accept the freedom and anointing of the Lord, know that you are free once you have severed that soul tie in the spirit. 151 00:15:58,241.87845819 --> 00:15:59,641.87845819 Just believe that he has. 152 00:16:00,11.87845819 --> 00:16:07,654.27429152 And now for the fifth and final step of breaking this emotional tie is you want to change your perspective, okay? You want to start looking at the bigger picture. 153 00:16:07,873.04886866 --> 00:16:11,914.94077943 So let's come to what the reality of the world that we live in. 154 00:16:12,254.94077943 --> 00:16:16,54.94077943 All right, we start at zero with nothing. 155 00:16:16,330.88166194 --> 00:16:17,840.88066194 And we will end at zero. 156 00:16:18,103.93447122 --> 00:16:24,63.93547122 The word says naked, a man comes from his mother's womb and as he comes, so he departs. 157 00:16:24,302.12788401 --> 00:16:26,372.12788401 this, this life is going to end one day. 158 00:16:26,737.07795959 --> 00:17:38,811.1069743 So in this in between time, between these two zeros, what is the vision that you have for your life? Is it to stay in relationships that are unhealthy for you to continue generational trauma after you to be with a man that you are hesitant to even make a father? To live in fear, to live in regret, to live in self doubt, to feel unworthy, to feel this unhealthy attachment to somebody, to where it totally controls you, like is this the way that you want to live in between the two zeros? Or will we have this eternal perspective and will we choose the Lord, Will we choose to fall at his feet and to seek him during this tough time and will we believe that he can get us through this and that the rest of our time between the two zeros is going to be fruitful, is going to be full of healthy and life giving relationships and the family and marriage that you actually want? the person that you decide to marry is so important, it's the second most important decision of your entire life, right after giving your life to Jesus, because the man that you decide to marry is going to either pull you closer to the Lord and to the purpose and call he has over your life, or he's going to strip it away from you. 159 00:17:39,102.8949789 --> 00:17:44,522.8954789 so I want to ask you these questions, write them down and answer them because this is how you're going to start to look at the bigger picture. 160 00:17:44,522.8954789 --> 00:17:46,212.8949789 You've got to ask yourself the right questions. 161 00:17:46,449.8751456 --> 00:18:16,564.6802289 What is the vision for your life? is this the man that you want to raise your kids to be with you through pregnancy and postpartum? Are you safe and secure with him? Why? Why isn't this the man that you would want your daughter to marry? why would you, why would you not want your daughter to marry this type of man? Okay, what are, what are the characteristics? What do you see in him that you would not want for your daughter? After you write down these qualities that you see that you would not want in your future daughter's husband, on the flip side, write out what you would actually want. 162 00:18:16,564.6802289 --> 00:18:17,524.6812289 The opposite of that. 163 00:18:17,534.6812289 --> 00:18:31,69.7473331 What are the characteristics that you would want to see in your daughter's husband or in the husband that you want for yourself? And then go back to that list and look at that list when you do feel weak because Without vision, people perish and it's for a reason. 164 00:18:31,69.7473331 --> 00:18:46,978.4843122 We do not have our eyes on a destination, so when we do not look at the bigger picture, we can be so microscopic of this moment in time, feel all the feels, feel all the emotions, and let our emotions drive us, versus taking a step out and looking at the bigger picture. 165 00:18:47,213.405053 --> 00:18:47,963.405053 So those steps again. 166 00:18:48,498.4063869 --> 00:18:52,168.4063869 Number one, go no contact both virtual and physical. 167 00:18:52,338.4063869 --> 00:18:56,748.4053869 Number two, get honest with God and repent if there have been sexual relations. 168 00:18:56,748.4053869 --> 00:19:00,28.4063869 You do this through prayer and just being so open with him. 169 00:19:00,658.4063869 --> 00:19:06,228.4063869 Number three, you want to renounce the relationship, the sin and all spirits. 170 00:19:06,577.9946139 --> 00:19:08,757.9946139 Number four, you want to break the soul tie. 171 00:19:08,937.9936139 --> 00:19:11,867.9946139 You do that through the paper exercise and also through prayer. 172 00:19:11,981.3279473 --> 00:19:13,281.3274473 And the Lord will be faithful. 173 00:19:13,281.3274473 --> 00:19:15,401.3279473 Remember that He has washed you white as snow. 174 00:19:15,401.3279473 --> 00:19:26,771.3279473 So do not allow Satan to come in and think that you are unclean because God has already done the work that He finished on the cross to make you clean and holy and righteous through His blood. 175 00:19:26,771.3279473 --> 00:19:26,891.3279473 Amen. 176 00:19:27,236.9659681 --> 00:19:30,116.9659681 and then number five, look at the bigger picture. 177 00:19:30,239.1945324 --> 00:19:37,279.1945324 If you do these five things, I promise you, you will come out on the other side, feeling free from the chains of this past relationship. 178 00:19:37,587.6320324 --> 00:19:53,127.4888033 Now, if you're feeling a little bit overwhelmed or you know, once you turn this episode off, these things, you may do it, you may not do it, and you need a little bit of accountability or somebody there to hold your hand and guide you to truly launch you in full force in your healing journey. 179 00:19:53,324.3638033 --> 00:19:56,144.3638033 This is exactly what the Heartbreak to Healing Workshop is for. 180 00:19:56,164.3638033 --> 00:19:59,757.6971366 You have literally one more day To register and join me live. 181 00:19:59,767.6971366 --> 00:20:03,557.6971366 It's going to be Tuesday, August 27th, tomorrow at 6 p. 182 00:20:03,557.6971366 --> 00:20:03,697.6971366 m. 183 00:20:03,737.6971366 --> 00:20:04,707.6971366 Central Standard Time. 184 00:20:04,977.6971366 --> 00:20:08,417.6971366 And even if you're like, Oh my gosh, well, that's your time or I have something going on. 185 00:20:08,467.6971366 --> 00:20:13,138.3221366 Still sign up because I'm going to be sending out everybody who registers the replay. 186 00:20:13,270.692395 --> 00:20:28,651.49843 It's going to be such a fun, life giving and intimate time where you're going to be able to do these healing practices so that way you get the reps in and you know how to do them and then that way you can bring what you learn in the workshop over with you into your day to day life. 187 00:20:29,11.49843 --> 00:20:32,801.39943 Another thing I'm really excited about for it is you're going to be able to share and be in a session. 188 00:20:32,811.49943 --> 00:20:38,357.3928771 safe space in a community with other women who are going through similar situations. 189 00:20:38,647.3928771 --> 00:20:46,437.3928771 And one thing that I've learned in being through different trauma coaching and mindset calls that I've been on sharing is truly so healing and empowering. 190 00:20:46,437.3928771 --> 00:20:49,354.3817852 So if you're kind of alone in this walk, come join us. 191 00:20:49,502.6781019 --> 00:20:53,902.6781019 Plus, you'll be entered to win a journal and Bible study resource bundle. 192 00:20:54,23.959213 --> 00:21:02,913.959213 I can't wait to see you there, until then, may God God bless you with all the peace, joy, and faith that you need to fight this good fight of faith. 193 00:21:03,237.3079974 --> 00:21:04,127.3079974 Hey, beautiful. 194 00:21:04,167.3079974 --> 00:21:07,737.3079974 I hope you loved hanging with me today and enjoyed the episode. 195 00:21:08,37.3079974 --> 00:21:22,167.3079974 If so, would you take just 30 seconds and share it with someone you love who may also want to heal from past relationships and love themselves again? Also, please scroll down and leave a quick written review for the show on Apple podcasts. 196 00:21:22,167.3079974 --> 00:21:27,567.3079974 This is the main way we can get this message out to our girlfriends all around the world. 197 00:21:27,842.3079974 --> 00:21:33,222.3079974 And it also just really blesses me to know and hear how this podcast is helping you. 198 00:21:33,292.3079974 --> 00:21:33,712.3079974 Okay. 199 00:21:33,812.3079974 --> 00:21:36,382.3079974 I need to get out of my sleds and get ready for date night. 200 00:21:36,542.3079974 --> 00:21:42,512.3079974 I'll meet you back here on Monday for another episode, sending you all the love until next time.
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